02x13 - The Story of Gangstalicious: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

ANNOUNCER:
Last season on The Boondocks:

"The Story
of Gangstalicious," Part 1.

MAN:
Rapper Gangstalicious
has been shot.

Again?

Again?

It was these dudes
I used to owe money to

back when I was in
the drug game.

[PANTING]
n*gg*s...coming.

RILEY:
How you gonna drop the g*n,
Gangstalicious?!

That is not gangsta!

That's very not gangsta!

MAN:
This is about things

you're too young
to understand, little man.

This is about thugging love.

RILEY:
What the--?

RILEY:
And that's when
one of them dudes

knocked me upside
my head, right?

And I was having,
like, crazy dreams,

like Gangstalicious
was kissing the other dude.

Some old craziness, man.

[♪♪♪]

MAN [ON TV]:
Okay, okay, here it is.
What's up?

It's your boy.
It's your boy, your boy.

Look. Okay, the moment
you all been waiting for.

It's the world premiere.

And that's not just around
here, that's the whole world.

The brand-new
Gangstalicious video.

The song is called
"Homeys Over h*'s."

I thought you hate
Gangstalicious.

I mean, he a punk
and all that,

but he sent a n*gga
some free CDs

and apologized and all,
so I decided to squash it.

He still a punk though.

♪ Homeys over h*'s ♪

♪ Homeys over h*'s ♪

♪ Homeys over h*'s ♪

♪ Homeys over h*'s ♪

♪ Do the homey ♪

♪ Do the homey ♪

♪ Do the homey ♪

♪ Do the homey ♪

♪ You never catch the 'Lish ♪

♪ Rollin' with no b*tch ♪

♪ 'Cause b*tches ain't sh*t ♪

♪ It's on my crew I stick... ♪

That beat is
all right.

♪ With bald heads in check ♪

♪ n*gga, we hatin'
On them h*'s ♪

♪ Like we hit the phase ♪

♪ b*tch, can't you see ♪

♪ Fall back away from me ♪

[MUFFLED SCREAM]

♪ Me and my n*gg*s bump
Chests in the VIP ♪

♪ Now, bump it to the left ♪

♪ And bump it to the right ♪

♪ 'Cause when you do
The homey neck attack ♪

♪ You do it right ♪

[LAUGHING]
Oh, my God.

This is crazy.

♪ Homeys over h*'s ♪

♪ Do the homey ♪

♪ Do the homey ♪

♪ Do the homey ♪

♪ Do the homey ♪

♪ 'Cause b*tches be trouble ♪

♪ Be havin' n*gg*s beefin' ♪

♪ You trickin' on that h* ♪

♪ And your n*gg*s
Ain't eatin' ♪

♪ She pushin' your way ♪

♪ Spendin' all your cash ♪

♪ Your homey got shot up-- ♪

RILEY:
It's so cool.

[SINGS ALONG]
♪ Homeys over h*'s
Homeys over h*'s ♪

♪ Homeys over h*'s
Homeys over h*'s ♪

♪ Do the homey
Do the homey ♪

♪ Do the homey-- ♪

[RILEY LAUGHING]

Oh! It's so hot!

♪ I am the stone that
The builder refused ♪

♪ I am the visual
The inspiration ♪

♪ That made lady
Sing the blues ♪

♪ I'm the spark
That makes your idea bright ♪

♪ The same spark
That lights the dark ♪

♪ So that you can know
Left from right ♪

♪ I am the ballot in your box
The b*llet in the g*n ♪

♪ The inner glow
That lets you know ♪

♪ To call your brother sun ♪

♪ The story that just begun ♪

♪ The promise
Of what's to come ♪

♪ And I'm 'a remain a soldier ♪

♪ Till the w*r is won
Won ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop
Judo flip ♪

♪ Chop, chop, chop ♪

See, you gotta remember,
it was the '80s.

Tight pants, headbands,
Jheri curls.

You could just be
out the closet,

and nobody would notice.

But that wasn't enough for us.
We wanted to stand out.

And that's where
we made our mistake.

MC BOOTY B:
The world wasn't ready
for g*y rappers back then.

h*m* D: Sure ain't.

But in a lot of ways,

I feel like
we paved the way

for all these g*y-a*s rappers
that's out here nowadays.

Mm-hm. It was us.
Think about it.

Hey, check it out.

Gangstalicious sent me
a box of free gear.

I'm gonna be the first n*gga
on the streets to rock it.

Mmm. Gangstalicious sure does
send you a lot of free stuff.

Gangstalicious is
my homey.

Oh, now you're homeys?
Yesterday, he was a punk.

Sometimes you gotta put aside
your differences

and work through problems
with your homey,

so y'all can keep
to bein' homeys.

You feel me, homey?

That's very sensitive
of you, Riley.

And you're okay
with his lifestyle?

Well, I mean, I know
he ain't no real gangsta,

but that's cool 'cause, see,
he's in entertainment.

He ain't gotta be out
in the streets like I do.

He's telling
our stories for us.

So you're okay with him
being g*y?

[SNICKERS]

g*y? Who--? Who said
he was g*y?

n*gga, is you crazy?
Heh-heh.

Gangstalicious, g*y.
You-- You crazy.

Come on, Riley.
The song, the dance?

I mean, "do the homey"?

The homey dance ain't g*y.
I do the homey.

That's not g*y? You who thinks
everything in the world is g*y.

n*gga, you g*y. You g*y.
Y'all n*gg*s are g*y.

n*gga, you g*y.
That's g*y.

Don't find any of this
g*y at all?

Okay, so all that
other stuff was g*y.

But Gangstalicious
ain't g*y.

You can't just go throwing
that g*y thing around, Huey.

That's
a serious accusation.

You the one who said
he kissed a man.

What I had said was them dudes
knocked me upside my head,

and I dreamed
he kissed another man.

How often you have dreams
about men kissing?

Shut up.

I never dream about my heroes

kissing other men.

Man, stop!
This whole conversation is

making me uncomfortable.

I dreamt about Muhammad Ali
just last night.

But he was fighting Joe Frazier,
not kissing him.

Ugh! g*y-a*s n*gga!

Shut up, shut up,
shut up.

Ooh, I ain't listening
to you.

Now, 'Licious,
you've got the hit song

that's k*lling 'em
in the streets right now.

Don't-- Don't take that
literally, folks.

Just k*lling 'em
in the streets:

"Homeys Over h*'s."

And now I'm telling you,
the clothing line's jumping off.

This thing is--
What?

What do you say, Gelman?
"Off the hook"?

Tell us about that.

Well, you know, Reege, we just
had to bring our own flavor

to the fashion game.
You know,

fashion is a real big thing
to me and my crew,

you know what I'm saying?

Personal grooming,
hygiene, facials,

shiatsu seaweed wraps,
you know, that type of thing.

And we not doing it
for the females,

you know what I'm saying?

We doing it just for us,
you know? That's real thing.

All right now,
we got some models.

Check it. Over here
with some of your new gear.

Now, the vest isn't actually
bulletproof, correct?

GANGSTALICIOUS:
No, not really.
But it's a hot style.

And pink is definitely
the in color for this season.

And here we have the
Gangstalicious super-long tee.

Oh, that's long, baby.
But that's the style, right?

Oh. Why is the backside
cut out?

I knew you were gonna ask, and
I like your attention to detail.

I'll tell you why.

That way, you won't
have to waste time

lifting up your T-shirt.

You can get to your toast
real fast, you know?

Get the drop on a n*gga.

Not that we want the kids
to carry g*ns or nothing,

because we always tell the kids
that that ain't the way.

Matter of fact,
I had a song called,

"Kids, That ain't the Way."

But if you got
to pull a burner

out on a n*gga,
this T-shirt

could give you
the half a second or more

that may save
your life.

KELLY:
Now, this here is just amazing.

Pearl necklaces.

I didn't know men
wore pearls.

Oh, yes, definitely.
Definitely, Kelly.

You know, we just want cats
out there in the street,

you know, to step
their jewelry game up.

It's all about
pearl necklaces.

Wow!
Pearl necklaces.

Well, I don't know if I could
wear one, but fascinating.

THUGNIFICENT:
Yo! Is that the new
Gangstalicious gear?

Where'd you get that?

MACKTASTIC:
That outfit is fly
right there.

Look at those sandals
right there, dog.

Yo, you said
Gangstalicious?

He-- He sent them shits
to you hisself?

Me and Gangstalicious
been homeys for a minute.

Damn!
That "Homeys Over h*'s"

just shitted on
our "Rags to b*tches" joint.

FLONOMINAL:
Why didn't we think
of that, man?

We sound like a bunch
of b*tch n*gg*r*s

that-- That need women in
their lives or something, man.

But we calling 'em b*tches
and h*'s and sh*t.

It ain't like
we respectin' 'em.

Damn.

Yeah, we sound like
straight f*ggots, dog.

Ah, still, man,
the new single ain't moving.

We ain't doing no shows.

I got college loans and sh*t.

Hey, b*tch. What the f*ck
is you doing in here?

Can't you see
the homeys is talking?

This is homey talk
happening.

How you just gonna walk in
on homey talk, b*tch?

Man, y'all h*'s is trouble.

n*gga, you've been
begging me

to come over here
for a month.

You know what? Y'all can get
the f*ck up outta here.

What'd we do?

Man, just beat it.

It's homey time
right now, okay?

Hey, yo, word to mother.
He-- He-- He right, yo.

Word, son. I'm saying,
I-I mean, you know, this is

what real n*gg*s
out in the struggle

wanna see right now, man.

Yo, that's real talk.

Hey. Y'all should get
on the remix.

MACKTASTIC:
Yeah. That'd be dope.

That sh*t would be unbelievably
f*cking banging, word to mother.

Hey, yo, real talk.

That would help me get out
of this debt real quick, man.

Yeah, but I don't really know
Gangstalicious like that.

Plus, I heard the n*gga's
hard to get at too.

Ah, man. I talk to
Gangstalicious all the time.

Hey, yo, for real?

[LINE RINGING]

GANGSTALICIOUS:
Hello?

RILEY: What up, 'Lish?

Hey! Hey.

Riley, what's up, little man?

What's going on?
What's good?

It's all good, man.

Just out here Rick Ross-in' it,
not loving them h*'s.

Ha-ha. Hey-- Hey, man,
did you get that, uh--

That box of clothes
I sent you?

It's your size, right?

Oh, yeah.

That was a good look.
Appreciate it.

Listen, don't even sweat that.
Anything for the little homey.

You know we homeys got
to look out for each other.

Hey, speaking of looking out,
I don't know if you heard,

but I'm down with
the Lethal Interjection crew.

Oh, yeah. They did that song,
"Eff Granddad." That was hot.

Their new single ain't
really selling that much.

They was wondering
if you'd do a song with 'em.

Maybe they can get on
that "Homeys Over h*'s" remix.

Mmm. Uh...

Yeah. You know what?

You know what, Riley?
Anything for the little homey.

Tell them to call my people,
we set it up right away.

All right.
Thanks, 'Licious.

Hey, man, no problem,
you know.

And, Riley, you know, I just
wanted to say, you know--

You know, thank you.
You know, for, you know,

keeping everything
just between us, you know?

Oh. You mean how you was
crying and everything

when n*gg*s was chasing us?
Oh, man.

I ain't gonna tell
nobody about that.

No, no-- I-- I mean, you know--
I mean, you know--

I mean, you know,
the other thing.

Oh, you mean when
they stripped you naked

and shot at you?

No, I m-- Well, I mean,
yeah, that too.

But I mean, no-- I mean,
you know, the-- The other--

The other thing.

Uh...

what else happened?

See, that--? See?

That's-- That's what
I'm talking about.

That's why I f*ck
with you, Riley.

Homeys know how
to keep a secret.

Homeys know how
to keep a secret.

Uh, okay.

All right, man,
so I'll call you later.

Peace. Homeys over h*'s.

Hang this up, boo-boo.

Mm-hm. Mmm.

He said for me,
no problem.

Yeah, n*gga, yeah. That's
what I'm talking about.

ALL:
♪ Homeys over h*'s
Homeys over h*'s ♪

♪ Homeys over h*'s ♪

Hey. I just forgot my--

ALL:
♪ Do the homey
Do the homey ♪

♪ Do the homey
Do the homey ♪

♪ Do the homey ♪

[♪♪♪]

[GROANS]

Boy, what the hell are
you wearing? Is that a bra?

What? It's just
a wifebeater.

Where are your pants?
Why you wearing a skirt?

[LAUGHING]
No, Granddad.

These are Gangstalicious
Shorts for th*gs.

See, they got an extra flap
with a pocket,

so you-- You know,

you hide what you wanna hide
from the police.

Kind of hot, right?

You want me to see
if he got your size?

But you're carrying a purse.

What?

Come on, Granddad.
This ain't no purse.

It's the Gangstalicious Man-Bag.

What--? What's wrong?

Nothing. Uh...

[YELLS]

No!

[♪♪♪]

RUCKUS:
What in tarnation
is he wearing?

I don't know.
Do you think he's--?

On the train
to Fagsville? Absolutely.

No doubt in my mind.

I'm so sorry, Robert.

A g*y grandson, huh?

I can't imagine anything
worse than that.

Not Riley. Maybe there's
another explanation.

Maybe this is some crazy, sick
kind of misunderstanding.

No. Wake up.

Wake up and smell
the g*y coffee.

All the evidence you could
possibly need

is right in front
of your face.

It'll only be
a matter of time before

that little boy'll
be a grown man,

bent over a table with
his pants around his ankles,

being entered repeatedly
by another man.

Choo-choo!

Last train to Faggotsville
leaving in five minutes!

Leaving in five minutes
for that chocolate tunnel hole.

Hey, boy. Something's
wrong with Riley.

He's wearing women's clothes
and carrying a purse.

What do you think it is?

Oh, I knew it.
A g*y grandson.

Why me? Oh, man.

That's it.
It's gonna be weird.

It's gonna be so weird
from now on.

Poor you. You have
to share a room with him.

Nope. Can't
do that anymore.

You guys are gonna have to
have your own room. That's all.

Yep. Got to.
No other choice.

Probably shouldn't be using
the same bathroom.

Yes. That's right.

Matter of fact,
we might have to move Riley

out to the garage,
and that's all there is to it.

Did you know g*y influence
in rap culture

has increased greatly
in the last 10 years?

Why?

First, rap culture has been
increasingly influenced

by prison culture.

And prison culture
is really, really g*y.

Second, with rap albums
declining greatly

in profitability,

rappers often depend on
fashion lines to make money.

And fashion is really,
really, really g*y.

Last but not least, we have
a drug called ecstasy.

Ecstasy is a love drug

that seem to make
g*y things happen.

Bodies start moving
and sweating,

you can't help but want
to suck on something.

Hey, boy. Ahem.

You wanna go out
and play some football?

Not right now.

Hey, Riley, look.

Cutie-pie Cindy's
over to visit.

You wanna play
with her?

Young Reezy!

What's the business,
big baby?

Psht. No.

Ah! You cold
as ice, Reezy.

[♪♪♪]

Hey there, boy.

Let's spend
some man time together.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just you and me.

I take you anywhere
you wanna go.

Now, what do you say, huh?

Uh! Let's go chase
some girls.

Ooh! Let's go shopping.

[CLAPS]

GRANDDAD:
Wait a minute.

Maybe if someone talk
to him about sex,

this'll all
straighten itself out.

So you gonna talk to him?

Oh, no. Mm-mm, mm-mm.

No, not me. Mm-mm.

[♪♪♪]

So, you see,
my dearest Riley,

it is this instinctive

and burning need
to procreate

between a man and a b*tch

that not only keeps
the human race going,

but also fuels
many important industries,

such as my very own.

So, what do you think
about homeys over h*'s?

Is that something at Denny's?
I-- I don't know what that is.

Homeys over h*'s?

You know, like, you supposed
to put your homey over a h*.

That's how p*mps do, right?

I don't think homeys
over h*'s is a sentiment

that A Pimp Named Slickback
can cosign, Riley.

I mean,
don't get me wrong.

A Pimp Named Slickback will put
a lot of things over a h*.

Money over a h*, always.

Brand-new gators over a h*,
absolutely.

A turkey sandwich
with just tomato, guaranteed.

But homeys? Oh, no.

A Pimp Named Slickback
don't do sh*t for the homeys.

Let me reiterate.
Don't do sh*t for the homeys.

Unless the homey wanna
walk that stroll

and get that money,

the homey ain't getting
a g*dd*mn thing.

And the same goes
for brothers,

peeps, dudes, fellas,
dunnies, comrades,

whatever the f*ck n*gg*s is
calling each other nowadays.

Sound like some
g*y sh*t to me.

Hey. Gangstalicious
just hit me on MySpace

and said he put me on the list
for the show tonight. Yeah!

Don't you think it's strange
a superstar rapper

goes out of his way
to be nice to an 8-year-old?

Gangstalicious loves
his fans.

Especially the ones that
know his dirty little secret.

And by "dirty little secret,"
I mean the fact that he's g*y.

Shut up! He ain't g*y.

So, what if he's g*y?

Statistically speaking,
g*y men make more money.

They're cleaner.

Yeah, I guess.

They cook better,
they're better groomed,

less likely to get in trouble
with the law.

Really? You get all that
with g*y?

And you don't have
to worry about

any accidental
great-grandkids. Huh?

That's true.
Last thing I need

around here
is some more kids.

See?

I don't know.

I'm from the old school.
I mean,

I ain't h*m*, but g*y men
give me the heebie-jeebies.

Oh, come on.
What are you gonna do?

Stop loving your grandson
because he's g*y?

Well, yeah, I guess.

Mmm. But maybe I'll
think about it.

We're back with our guest
Jessica Ethalberg,

also known as
Wonder Cheeks,

reading excerpts from her
amazing new best-selling book,

The Private Lives
of Superstar Rappers.

"Of all the rappers I met
during those years,

"I loved Gangstalicious
the most.

"I called him Freddy.

"I wanted more than anything
to give my heart to him forever,

but I couldn't because--"

"He was so
unbelievably g*y."

"So unbelievably g*y"?

ALL:
g*y?

[♪♪♪]

That b*tch lying.
See? This is why I don't read.

Riley, he's g*y. It's
really not that big a deal.

Not a big deal?

If he g*y, I'm his homey
and a fan of his music,

then that makes me g*y too.

I like Elton John.
It doesn't make me g*y.

Is Elton John g*y?

Yeah.

See? And you g*y.
But I know I'm not g*y.

'Cause I'm the most
not-g*y n*gga

of all the not-g*y n*gg*s
in the whole universe.

But, see, people hate on you
when you shinin', see.

That's what it is.
They make up stories.

Like me, I stay shining,
so who knows?

Pretty soon people
gonna be calling me g*y.

But I'm not! And neither
is Gangstalicious.

[♪♪♪]

Full-throttle radio. Fatman
Scoop, a.k.a. Big Colorado.

We're back. And we have in
the building with us right now,

Gangstalicious himself.

Yo, what up, Scoop?

What's up with me?

What's up with you?

You tell me,
what's up with you?

A lot of crazy things are
being said right now about you.

I wanted to give you the chance
to clear the air right now.

So tell the world what
your side of the story is.

Well, first of all, that--
That-- That--

I ain't even gonna dignify
the accusations

with a response, you know?

'Cause that's so ridiculous.

I ain't got to answer
to no b*tch.

See, this is exactly
the kind of sh*t

a scandalous h* is good for.

They known for. They notorious
for snitching, you know?

Whether you snitch to the feds
or you snitch to Random House,

you know,
snitching is snitching.

Oh, man. I can't believe
this sh*t.

I was gonna be able to pay
my car note this month.

I knew it. I always had
a feeling about that dude.

Oh, man! What are
we supposed to do now?

This g*y-a*s n*gga
gonna be here in a hour.

Oh, no. We-- We can't f*ck
with the song now.

I mean, if everyone,
you know, think he a h*m*,

and we get on
a track with him,

we gonna be h*m*
by association, dog.

[♪♪♪]

♪ Whoo-oo-oo ♪

Man, this is gonna be weird.

This is gonna be so weird.

I'm keeping these pearls
though, my n*gga.

This sh*t is fly.

True, true.

Yeah. You ain't lying.

That sh*t is hot.

They is fly.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Ah, sh*t.
The n*gga's here.

Hide! Hide!
Turn off the lights.

Shh! Shh!

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

♪ Rock 'n' roll gangsta... ♪

[DOORBELL RINGING]

♪ Rock 'n' roll gangsta ♪

♪ Rock 'n' roll man ♪

Shh! Shh!

[BANGING ON DOOR]

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la ♪

♪ Rock 'n' roll gangsta ♪

♪ Rock 'n' roll gangsta ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Rock 'n' roll man... ♪

[LINE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

FLONOMINAL:
Oh, sh*t. Now he calling.

Hey, yo, don't even
answer the phone.

Shh! Shut up.

[BEEPS OFF]

♪ In a glass cage... ♪

He's g*y, isn't he?

Yep.

And I was
his biggest fan.

That make me g*y,
don't it?

Yep.

♪ Things you're saying... ♪

[SOBBING]

I know it's wrong,
but I really want my own room.

Take it easy on him,
Granddad.

He's just trying to come
to terms with it.

RILEY [SOBBING]:
No.

♪ They say it's all wrong ♪

♪ They say it's all... ♪

Granddad. Eh--

I think
I might be--

It's okay, son. I know.

I might be.

[SOBBING]
It's okay. It's okay.

You are g*y.
Boy, how did that be?

How did that happen?

You see, Bernie.

It's exactly what I said
was gonna happen, remember?

This is it. Nobody gonna
work with me now.

I think it's really--

♪ Rock 'n' roll man... ♪

It's really over.

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la ♪

♪ Rock 'n' roll gangsta ♪

♪ Rock 'n' roll gangsta ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Rock 'n' roll man... ♪

Man. Just tell the truth.
You g*y?

MC BOOTY B:
Will hip-hop ever accept
an outwardly g*y rapper?

I don't know.

First, somebody has
to come out the closet.

Peekaboo.

♪ Rock 'n' roll man... ♪

You wanna talk about g*y.
You wanna talk about g*y?

Talk about g*y.

Dogging out your homey
for what some h* say,

that's g*y.

But I saw you.
I saw you kiss a man.

You saw him kiss me,

while I was tied up.

Hello?
Think I want his old,

big, soft,
nasty lips on me?

Ew. Nasty.

♪ You can live your life ♪

♪ Any way you want to... ♪

Ah, man.

You right, Gangstalicious.

Heh. My bad.

I was trippin'.

I should've never
brought it up.

Of course
you ain't g*y, man.

I'm sorry.

Hey, man, it's-- Yo.

It's all good,
little homey.

You wanna hang out
for a little while?

Ew. You still got
kissed by a dude.

Yeah, I know.

But I brushed my teeth
with bleach and ammonia

when I got home,
so you know I'm straight.

I'm cool.

[RILEY LAUGHS]

That's real funny,
Gangstalicious.

♪ He's a gangsta ♪

[♪♪♪]