1x02 - The Wild Brunch

[bunniefuu]

[EXT NEW YORK]

[INT LIMOUSINE - Blair, Nate, Chuck, Katy and Isabel are drinking champagne]

[INT 'KISS ON THE LIPS PARTY' - Katy is dancing]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Good morning, Upper East Siders! Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source in the scandalous lives of Manhatten's elite. Top story on my homepage: Serena van der Woodsen. Everybody's favourite It-Girl has just returned from a mysterious absence.

[INT TRAIN - Serena is looking out of the window]

[INT GRAND CENTRAL STATION - Serena walks in]

[INT HOME OF THE WALDORFS - Chuck, Katy and Isabel are sitting on a couch, Katy and Isabel are looking at their messages on their cell phones]

Katy

You'll never believe what's on 'Gossip Girl'!

Isabel

Someone saw Serena getting off a train at Grand Central!

[EXT NEW YORK - Several people on the streets receive the news over their cell phones that Serena has returned]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Everyone knows Serena. And everyone is talking

[INT BLAIR'S BEDROOM - Blair and Nate are kissing on the bed, half undressed, Eleaonr interrupts them]

Eleanor

Blair, it's Serena!

Nate

Serena?

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

And B's boyfriend Nate? Rumour has it he's always had a thing for Serena.

[EXT THE PALACE HOTEL]

Nate

But you're back now.

Serena

I didn't come back for you. Look, Blair is my best friend and you're her boyfriend and she loves you.

[INT OSTROFF CENTER - Serena is looking into her brother's room]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Why did she leave? Why did she return?

Eleanor

Must be a lot of rumours why you're back.

Serena

Yeah, but none of them mentioned you.

[INT OSTROFF CENTER - HALLWAY]

Serena

He tries to take his own life and you're worried it's gonna cost you 'Mom Of The Year'.

Lily

You have no idea what it's been like.

[FLASHBACK - INT BAR - Serena and Nate are having sex, Chuck is watching from the balcony]

Chuck

Best friend and the boyfriend. That's pretty classy, S.

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

And Nate's friend Chuck won't let Serena forget about her past.

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - KITCHEN]

Serena

I'm trying to change.

Chuck

I liked you better before.

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - BAR - Serena crashes into Dan]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

And then there's Dan: Outsider, looks like his childhood crush has returned.

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - FOYER]

Dan

She doesn't know me. Nobody knows me. It's cool.

Concierge

Serena! Do you know this young man?

Serena

Uhm, from last night.

Dan

You remember me?

[Dan walks off but then turns around]

Dan

You'd really go out with some guy you don't know?

Serena

Well, you can't be worse than the guys I do know.

[INT HOME OF THE HUMPHREYS - KITCHEN]

Rufus

Guess who's dad is cool!

Jenny

It's a trick question.

Dan

Yeah, 'cause it can't be ours.

[Dan looks at the front page of 'Rolling Stone']

Dan

'Top 10 Forgotten Bands Of The '90s'.

Rufus

Yeah, check out who's number nine.

Jenny

He's very proud.

Dan

Hey, hey way to be forgotten.

[INT THE HUMPHREY'S ART GALLERY]

Lily

Why is my daughter going to one of your concerts?

Rufus

Well, our kids were about to meet. It's a small island.

Lily

You're sure it's not some ploy your using my daughter to get to me? Now that your wife left you?

[INT 'KISS ON THE LIPS' PARTY - Dan and Serena are walking through the crowd]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Serena and her mystery man made a surprise appearance at Blair's 'Kiss On The Lips' party.

Isabel and Katy

Serena's here?

Blair

What is she doing here? She wasn't invited.

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

But Serena wasn't the only one who made an impression.

[INT 'KISS ON THE LIPS' PARTY - Chuck notices Jenny]

Chuck

Who's the newbie?

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Jenny made an impression on Chuck.

Chuck

Let's go and talk somewhere private.

[EXT ROOF TOP - Chuck tries violently to kiss Jenny]

Jenny

No, stop!

Dan

Hey! That is my little sister!

[EXT ROOF TOP - Dan punches Chuck in the face]

Serena

Don't you ever touch her again!

Chuck

Hey, you're life is over, slut!

[EXT 'KISS ON THE LIPS' PARTY - Blair and Chuck watch Dan, Jenny and Serena get into a cab]

Blair

She better not show her face again.

Chuck

I'm actually hoping she will.

Dan

So, think I've got a shot at a second date?

Serena

We talk about it in the cab.

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

And now that S is back... will the Upper East Side ever be the same? We're all just dying to see what happens next.

END OF TEASER

[EXT NEW YORK]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

I bet you're wondering what Gossip Girl is doing up so early. Truth is: I never went to bed. Why waste precious time dreaming when waking life is so much better?

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - KITCHEN - Ice cubes are thrown into a bucket, lemons and cucumbers are being sliced, eggs scrambled]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Is there really anything better than a lazy sunday? Reading the paper in bed, sipping coffee, scrambling an egg or two. Yeah, right. We Upper East Siders don't do lazy: Breakfast is brunch and it comes with champagne, a dress code and a hundred of our closest friends... and enemies.

[Tables get decorated, flowers arranged, strawberries are being dipped in chocolate]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Chuck's dad Bart Bass is hosting the annual brunch for his foundation. Everyone is invited. Well, not everyone.

[INT HOME OF THE HUMPHREYS - Dan opens a garage door which seperates his room from his sister's]

Dan

Oh, hey, you're up.

Jenny

And you're checking up on me. I'm ok, really, I'm ok. You know, I was ok when you asked me at the party and in the cab, when we got home, before and after I brushed my teeth. Well, I just feel really... stupid. I mean, how could I'Ve actually thought that Chuck Bass just wanted to talk to me?

Dan

Because you trust people which is normally a good thing.

Jenny

Yeah, except when it involes Chuck.

Dan

Yeah, pretty much.

Jenny

So, the real question is: How are you?

Dan

Me? Why wouldn't I be ok?

Jenny

You know, at the end of the night with Serena and the... the...

[Jenny makes a waving gesture]

Dan

Was it really that bad?

[FLASHBACK - LAST NIGHT - CAB - Jenny, Dan and Serena are sitting in the cab, Serena is getting out, then stops]

Serena

This is me. So, good night.

Dan

Yeah, uhm, yeah, good night.

[Serena gets out of the cab]

Jenny

Go! Walk her to the door! Something! Go!

[Dan nods and tries to get out of the cab but the doors slams into his head, the cab starts to drive off]

Jenny

Whoa, stop, stop, sir, stop, stop!

Dan

I think I have brain damage.

Jenny

You know, Dan, if you had brain damage you wouldn't even know you had brain damage.

Dan

No, let's go, please. Williamsburg.

Jenny

No!

[Serena looks inside through the side window}

Dan

hi.

[Dan waves at Serena, the cab drives off, Serena looks puzzled after the cab and waves slightly]

[INT OSTROFF CENTER - ERIK'S ROOM - Erik is sitting on his chair, looking at his hand]

Erik

So he waved? I wouldn't have taken him for a waver.

Serena

No, he was just trying to be funny.

Erik

Or maybe he is shy.

Serena

Or he hates me.

Erik

No guy in the history of the world has ever hated you.

[INT HOME OF THE HUMPRHEYS - JENNY'S ROOM - Dan is pacing up and down, Jenny is lying on her bad looking through a magazine]

Dan

She probably thinks I hate her now. I waited my entire adolescent life for a date with this girl. You know, Serena van der Woodsen! And I decided to close the evening with a wave.

Jenny

It was a nice wave.

Dan

At the end of a date? Come on, there's no such thing. And you only get one shot with a girl like Serena. I got mine and I blew it.

Jenny

Which means you've got nothing to loose.

Dan

Nothing except my last shred of dignity.

Jenny

Oh no, I think that's gone.

Dan

You're right. You know, I'll just... I'll go talk to here. I'm gonna apologise for the wave, I gonna tell her how much I like her and I'm gonna ask for a second shot... and I'm gonna get a second shot.

Jenny

Yeah you are!

Dan

Yeah.

[Dan walks out of the room]

Jenny

Wait, wait, wait! I love the plan but uhm... you need a better outfit... and maybe a shower.

[Dan heads into his room and closes the garage door]

[INT ERIK'S ROOM - Serena is pacing up and down]

Serena

Whatever, it is probably for the best. The last thing I need in my life is another guy. He was just so smart, though, and funny...

Erik

It sounds like you like him.

Serena

... and really nice. God, Blair was so plain to me last night. I don't even know why. Whatever, I'm sure if we talk about it we can work it out. Hey, maybe I should go over there.

[INT HOME OF THE WALDORFS - LIVING ROOM - A note is clipped to a dress: Went to Paris. Bruch at 2. Wear pearls! Eleanor Waldorf, New York]

Blair

Serena had better just stay away. Thank you, Dohertha!

Isabel

Thanks!

Katy

We were sleeping on flares last night.

Blair

I don't want to see Serena at school and she better not show up at brunch today.

Katy

You're really mad at Serena.

Isabel

I hope you never get that mad at us.

Blair

Well, you would never do what Serena did.

Katy

No, never.

Isabel

'Course not.

[Isabel looks puzzled at Katy who shrugs her shoulders]

Blair

I wonder if Nate remembered brunch. It would be so wrong of me to show up without my boyfriend whom I love... and who loves me.

[Blair calls Nate]

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - CHUCK'S ROOM - Nate's cell phone is vibrating on a table covered with cards and poker chips, Nate wakes up on the couch and answers the phone]

Nate

Hello?

[INT THE WALDORF'S LIVING ROOM]

Blair

Hi sweety. Did I wake you?

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - CHUCK'S ROOM]

Nate

No, I'm up.

[INT THE WALDORF'S LIVING ROOM]

Blair

Well, get some strong coffee and jump in the shower, sleepyhead. Chuck's dad's brunch for his foundation is today at The Palace.

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - CHUCK'S ROOM]

Nate

Ah, great, of course.

[Nate hangs up the phone and throws it onto the table, the noise wakes up Chuck who is lying in bed with two women]

Chuck

Nathaniel! Keep it down! Some of us are trying to regain our strenght.

Nate

You're dad's brunch is today.

Chuck

The alarm's set for nine.

Nate

It's ten.

[Chuck sighs, then raises and claps his hands, he has a black eye]

Chuck

Ladies, double time! Oh, unless... Nathaniel?

[Chuck points behind him at the two women]

Nate

I'm good. [The two women wear maid uniforms and Nate addresses them]

Nate

Actually, could you two bring some coffee when you get a chance? And some water, lots of water.

Maid

You want ice with that?

[She points at Chuck's black eye]

Maid

Looks like you could use some.

Chuck

That's enough, ladies. And I'll make sure to tell my father just how committed you are to the hospitality industry.

Nate

That kid popped you pretty good, huh? Never mess with a guy's sister.

Chuck

If I knew his name I'd hunt him down and k*ll him.

Nate

What, 'cause you k*ll people now? Are you gonna strangle him with your scarf?

[Nate throws Chuck's scarf into his face, Chuck is preparing a hangover remedy in a blender]

Chuck

Don't mock the scarf, Nathaniel. It's my signature.

Nate

Just saying, death by scarf: Not that intimidating.

Chuck

He sucker-punched me, I told you. Besides, better a broken nose than a broken heart.

Nate

What? I didn't even talk to Serena last night.

Chuck

Who said anything about Serena?

[INT JENNY'S ROOM - Dan opens the garage door, he has changed his clothes]

Dan

Do I look ok?

Jenny

Definitely second shot material.

Dan

Alright then, I'm gonna go. Oh, uhm, and about what happend, you know, with Chuck... if you want to talk to someone... not your brother, just let me know.

Jenny

Ok.

Yeah, alright.

Jenny

Hey, there wait! Actually, there is someone I want to talk to.

[Jenny grabs her purse and they prepare to leave, Rufus comes home]

Dan

Hey!

Rufus

Hey, where are you guys going? I was going to make waffles.

Dan

Uh, sorry dad.

Jenny

Yeah, can't.

Rufus

But I want to know everything about your date.

Dan

Later.

Rufus

And your party.

Rufus

When I get back?

You guys missed a really great show! And I make really good waffles!

[Dan and Jenny leave]

[THE PALACE HOTEL - CHUCK'S ROOM - Nate is on the phone]

Concierge

The Palace Hotel.

Nate

Hi, this is Nate Archibald, calling from the Bass suite. I know you don't normally give out this information but could you tell me what room the van der woodsens are in, please?

[EXT NEW YORK - Serena is walking down the street, she is leaving Blair a message on the phone]

Serena

Hey, Blair, it's me. Eh, I guess you're still sleeping but I'm gonna come over. I think we need to talk. Ok, ehm, see you soon. Bye.

[INT HOME OF THE WALDORFS - Blair checks her missed calls: Serena, she deletes it]

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - BALL ROOM - All the tables are decorated]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Looks like the tables are all set. As soon as the guests arrive we can start dishing. Here's what's on the menue:

[FLASHFORWARD - Serena, Blair, Dan, Chuck, Jenny, Nate, Dan, Blair, Serena, Chuck walks towards Dan but Nate stops him, Blair takes off a blue dress, Jenny is wearing Blair's blue dress and looks at herself in a mirror, Chuck gives Blair a key, Blair and Nate are kissing in an elevator, Blair turns around rapidly]

[THE PALACE HOTEL - THE ROOM OF THE VAN DER WOODSENS - Serena is searching through boxes]

Serena

Mom, did you borrow my Michelle Parise? Uh, I can't find anything in here!

Lily

Well, it might help if you unpacked. Look, you're home now, it's your life, you should start living it.

Serena

This is not live, this is a hotel we're living in because you decided you didn't like the colour of the walls in our real home.

[Lily hands Serena the green pair of pumps she was looking for]

Serena

Mom, I said I'd go to this brunch. What else do you want from me?

Lily

Serena, why are you being like this? You love parties. This is just not like you.

Serena

Maybe it is like me. Maybe you don't know what I'm really like.

Lily

Oh, ok, tell me.

[Serena puts on her pumps and just stares at her mother]

Lily

So did you and Dan have fun at the concert last night?

Serena

We, uhm, never made it. We actually ended up at the 'Kiss On The Lips' party.

Lily

Ah, well that must have pleased Blair.

Serena

Blair? Actually no, not that pleased. Which is why I'm going to talk to her.

Lily

Just be back in time for brunch, ok?

Serena

Mom!

Lily

Look, honey, I know how hard it is for you to be back but the more you hide yourself away the more people are gonna think you have something to hide.

Serena

Coming from someone who's keeping my brother in an institution.

Lily

That's different.

[Serena leaves, Lily shouts after her]

Lily

I mean it: Don't be late!

[EXT THE PALACE HOTEL - Serena runs to get a cab]

Serena

Wait!

[Serena gets into the cab just as Dan walks up to The Palace Hotel, Dan enters and walks over to the reception]

Dan

Hey! How are you doing? I, ah, I was in yesterday with Serena.

Concierge

How could I forget.

Dan

Yeah, well, is... she in?

Concierge

Just missed her, actually, but you're welome to wait.

Dan

Ok, maybe I will. She probably won't be that long, right?

Concierge

Once she went out and didn't come back for six month but feel free to sit.

[Dan points behind him towards a lounge, the concierge points into the opposite direction]

Concierge

Over there.

Dan

Over there is where I'll be.

[Dan walks off, Nate walks towards the elevator, the door opens and Lily steps out]

Lily

Hi, Nate, it's great to see you.

Nate

Hi, Misses van der Woodsen. Good to see you.

Lily

Oh, I'm just heading out.

[Nate accompanies Lily through the foyer]

Nate

Oh, is Serena in?

Lily

Oh, you just missed her but I'll tell her you came by. I'm sure she will be happy to hear it.

Nate

I... I don't know about that.

Lily

Oh, what? I mean, Serena loves you and I think she's always a little crush on you. 'Course you and Blair are the perfect couple.

Nate

Mmh, is Serena going to be long? I could just wait.

[They arrive at the reception, Lily nods towards the concierge]

Lily

Uhm, well, Dexter here can take care of you. I'm just gonna step out for a while and Nate's gonna wait for Serena.

Nate

Great.

Concierge

He can get in line behind that guy.

[The concierge points towards Dan who's sitting in a chair behind them, Lily and Nate turn around]

Lily

I had a feeling you'd be back. Dan, is it?

[Dan gets up and shakes her hand]

Dan

Humphrey, yes. It's nice to see you again, Misses van der Woodsen. I hope you had a pleasant, eh, 21 hours since I last saw you.

Lily

Yes, it has been very pleasant... until now. Gentlemen...

[Lily turn around and walks off, Nate and Dan stare at each other]

Nate

Hey.

Dan

Hey.

[Nate and Dan sit down next to each other]

[HOME OF THE WALDORFS - Serena exits the elevator]

Serena

Blair? Hey.

Blair

Serena.

[Serena takes a copy of 'Breakfast At Tiffany's' out of a bag]

Serena

Hey., I got two baguettes and Audrey.

Blair

I must have totally blanked on the part where I invited you over.

Serena

I... I called you. Blair, it's Sunday morning: Coffee, croissants, 'Breakfast At Tiffany's'. It's our tradition.

Blair

I have new traditions now.

Serena

Well, they're not traditions if they're new.

[Blair sits down with the Sunday paper and ignores Serena]

Serena

Look, Blair, I'm really trying to make an effort here. I thought everything was good between us.

Blair

It was... before I found out you had sex with my boyfriend.

[Serena is looking for words, Blair just stares at her]

Serena

How did you find out?

Blair

Nate told me. At least he felt he owed it to me to tell the truth.

Serena

I don't know what to say.

Blair

Don't bother saying anything. I wouldn't believe you anyway.

Serena

Blair, it was...

Blair

You know... I always knew you're a whore... I never took you for a liar too.

Serena

Blair, how can I fix this?

Blair

You don't, Serena. You just stay away from me, my boyfriend and my friends.

You're done here.

[Blair walks away and leaves Serena behind]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Serena's visit was short and apparently not very sweet but you know what is? Revenge. We hear it's best served cold. Who's hungry?

[Serena has already left, Jenny exits the elevator and enters the living room, Blair shouts from the other room]

Blair

Dohertha, I told you I didn't want to see anyone!

[Blair enters the living room and sees Jenny]

Blair

Hey, Jenny.

Jenny

Hi.

Blair

What do you want?

Jenny

Eh, I realised that I still have your calligraphy pens... from the party invitations and thought you might need them for something.

Blair

That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard. You wanna know what Chuck Bass is saying about you.

Jenny

No. Is he... saying things? Is anyone?

Blair

Mmh, no. Not yet anyway. Chuck likes to brag about his conquests not his victims. Come on, you can help me get ready for brunch.

Jenny

Ok, sure.

[Blair leads Jenny upstairs, Jenny notices an arrangement of flowers]

Jenny

Nice flowers.

Blair

They're hydrangeas.

[EXT NEW YORK - Lily gets out of a cab]

Lily

Just coffee. I'm not staying long... I want to get out of here before someone throws me down and tattoos me.

Rufus

This is Brooklyn, Lil, not the 'Warped Tour' and don't tell me you had all your tattoos removed. I mean, even that one the little heart-shaped one between your, uhm...

Lily

Don't try to be cute, ok. Those days are way behind you.

Rufus

And here I thought I was getting better looking every day. So, what's the big emergency?

Lily

Dan went out with Serena last night.

Rufus

And as Humphrey I sure am proud of him.

[They walk into a coffee shop]

Lily

Well, currently he is sitting in the lobby of the hotel where we're living.

Shop Assistent

Hi, how can I help you?

Rufus

Two americanos, one with an extra shot?

Lily

Mhm.

Rufus

You don't actually think that I'm gonna tell my kid you he can and cannot date. I mean is that really the reason you came down here?

Lily

Oh, I know what you're implying.

Rufus

That maybe you're falling for me again.

Lily

You're right, you're right. It's the low income tax bracket, the bad v-neck t-shirts, the awful jokes. I don't know why your wife left you.

Rufus

Well, she's got better taste than you.

[The shop assistant brings them their coffee, Rufus pays]

Shop Assistent

Here you are. Thanks.

Rufus

I mean, come on, why else have I seen you more in the last two days than in the last fifteen years?

Lily

An unfortunate twist of fate.

Rufus

But fate non the less, unless... you are... are you seeing someone?

Lily

No, not really.

Rufus

Aha, not serious... or he's married, that is your type.

Lily

That's enough, Rufus.

Rufus

What's his name? Have I read of him in 'Forbes' or 'Rolling Stone'? Well, whoever he is I'm sure he can't keep up with you.

Lily

Well, I'm gonna take that as a compliment. But I'm serious, I'm worried about Serena. I don't need some new boy influencing her, distracting her from her needs.

Rufus

Well, no offense, Lil, but I'm guessing a kid like Dan is exactly what Serena needs.

[EXT THE PALACE HOTEL - Dan walks away from the main entrance, he meets Nate at the front gate]

Dan

So, ah, what do you need to talk to Serena about?

Nate

Nothing, just in the neighborhood. You?

Dan

I... I'm nowhere near the neighborhood but I'm working on a better excuse.

Nate

You guys like...

Dan

Oh, ah, I... I don't know.

Nate

Yeah, well, that's Serena. With her you'll never know.

[Chuck walks towards them, he is wearing black sunglasses]

Chuck

Nathaniel! There you are. What are you doing?

Nate

Nothing... just waiting for you.

[Chuck notices Dan, he takes of his sunglasses and reveales his black eye]

Chuck

Him? What are you doing here?

Dan

Why? What is this... your hotel?

Nate

Actually, it is.

Chuck

Yes and unless you have a reason to be here I have to ask you to wait on the curb with the rest of the trash.

Dan

Trash? Look man, I live in Brooklyn, alright, not the Ozarks... no offense to the Ozarks. But don't you think we're taking this class warfare thing way too far?

[Chuck pushes Dan, Nate keeps him back]

Nate

Ok, man, let's just go.

Chuck

You told me stick it up for Serena's reputation... if anyone has a reason to kick his ass it's you.

Nate

It's no warfare. Not here.

[Nate leads Chuck away from Dan, Chuck turns to Dan]

Chuck

This isn't over.

Dan

Hey, any time, man. That one black eys looks a little lonely.

[BLAIR'S BEDROOM - Blair is trying on the blue dress her mother laid out for her to wear to the brunch, Jenny is with her]

Jenny

Wow, Blair, it's... it's beautiful. I mean... you look beautiful.

Blair

It's average. The collar is last season. And besides, Stella McCartney's a much better version of Bergdorf's.

[Blair takes the dress off]

Jenny

Right. I... I've been meaning to go by Bergdorf's.

[Jenny walks over to Blair's bed and picks up a doll]

Jenny

Wow, these dolls are great. Oh my god, you've got 'Cabbage Patch'. My brother used to have one of these. His name was Cedric.

Blair

You're brother's name is Cedric?

Jenny

No, that was his 'Cabbage Patch Kid'. My brother's name is Dan. Actually, you might know him. He, uhm, he went out with Serena last night.

Blair

That was your brother? So does that mean you're friends with Serena now?

Jenny

I mean, I don't have a problem with her but if someone did have a problem with her I wouldn't have a problem with that either.

Blair

You know if you like that dress... you can have it.

Jenny

What? No, no.

Blair

I'm sure you'll find some way to repay me.

Jenny

Wow, Blair, thank you, I mean, for the dress and... for the other thing... about that Chuck.

Blair

If you want to be part of this world, Jenny, people will talk... eventually. And you need to decide if all this... is worth it.

[EXT THE PALACE HOTEL - Dan is waiting for Serena, she walks up to him]

Serena

Dan, hey.

Dan

I, I... I was in the neighborhood... uhm, give or take seventy blocks. Uhm, I just wanted to tell you in person that, eh, the end of last night may not have been my finest hour. It was a, eh, a wave.

[Dan makes a waving gesture]

Serena

I, I... I saw that.

Dan

Yeah, yeah. Since then I've just been wondering... eh... are you hungry?

Serena

Yes. Actually, I had the worst morning.

Dan

Do you... do you wanna talk? And eat? Not necessarily in that order.

Serena

Yes, I would love to do both but food first because I'm starving.

[Lily walks up to them]

Lily

Great, just in time for brunch.

Serena

Mom.

Dan

Miss van der Woodsen.

Lily

Dan, you're still here.

Serena

Look, mom, I really don't think it's a good idea for me to go to that brunch.

Lily

You promised.

Serena

Yeah, but that was before... before I knew Dan was hungry too. I can't let the boy starve.

Dan

It would be inhumane.

Lily

He's not invited.

Serena

Yeah, that's why I'm going with him.

Dan

Because I can't go with her.

Serena

And we have plans to go to brunch together today.

Dan

We had those plans.

Lily

Serena, you're home: Living under my roof, my rules. What is it gonna take to get you dressed and through that door?

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - BALL ROOM - Dan and Serena stand at the entrance, Dan looks a little overwhelmed, there are models painted white to pose as statues, Howie Archibald, Bart Brass and Lily are all there, Nate, Chuck, Blair, Katy and Isabel are sitting together laughing and drinking, Blair notices Serena and her mouth drops]

Serena

You know, maybe... maybe this was a... a bad idea.

[Back at the table]

Blair

You got to be kidding.

[Back at the entrance]

Dan

Yeah, this was... this was definitely a bad idea

[Back at the table, Chuck notices Dan]

Chuck

This should be fun.

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Looks like Chuck and Blair showed up with quite some appetite... for destruction that is.

[Dan and Serena finally enter the ball room]

[INT HOME OF THE HUMPHREYS - Rufus is playing the guitar, Jenny enters with her new blue dress in a transparent cloth bag]

Jenny

Hey, dad. How's the new song going?

Rufus

Ah, I think I need more coffee.

Jenny

Whatever works.

[Rufus notices the dress]

Rufus

Where did you get the dress?

Jenny

Oh, it was a thank you gift from Blair for doing the party invitations.

Rufus

Looks like a very expensive thank you gift.

Jenny

Dad, she's got a closed the size of this appartement just full of them. See, her mom designed it.

Rufus

And her mom is very talented... but the dress you made for yourself is much nicer.

Jenny

Which is why you don't wear dresses.

Rufus

One of a couple reasons.

Jenny

Hey, you think the Farmers' Market is still open?

Rufus

Yeah, why? You wanna go?

Jenny

Yeah.

Rufus

I thought you were getting too old to go places with your dad.

Jenny

Well, you used to be cool. And the '90s are having a comeback.

Rufus

You have no idea how much that hurts.

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - BALL ROOM - Dan and Serena are standing at the decadent buffet]

Dan

Well, can't say much for his child bearing skills but Bart Brass knows brunch.

[Serena notices Nate who nods towards her to signal he wants to talk to her outside]

Serena

Uhm, I... I need to use the ladies' room. You think you be ok for yourself for a while?

Dan

Yeah, come on, me and some Beluga caviar? Can't get enough of this stuff.

Serena

Ok.

[Serena leaves, Dan turns to one of the painted models]

Dan

Hey, how's it going?

[The model doesn't answer or move]

Dan

No? You don't... ok, just... go ahead do your thing.

[Dan turns around and finds Chuck, they stare at each other for a while until Chuck turns to his father]

Bart

Charles!

[Bart turns away from a guest]

Bart

Would you excuse me?

Guest

Of course.

Chuck

Father.

Bart

The, uh, the invitation said 'Black Tie' not 'Black Eye'. Are you ok? I mean if you're in some kind of trouble...

Chuck

Only of my own making.

Bart

Why do you think I do all this, hu? This party is for you. Ok, so you can meet people. You know, become a part of something, make some kind of change.

Chuck

Really? I thought it was another excuse for an open bar and, eh, re-hiring the milanese statues.

Bart

Do me a favour, will you? Lose the scotch... it's barely noon.

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - OUTSIDE OF THE BALL ROOM - Nate is waiting, Serena arrives]

Nate

Serena, I really need to talk to you.

Serena

Actually, I need to talk to you which means you can listen. Nate, you told Blair! What were you thinking?

Nate

Look, I wanna explain...

[A party guest interrupts them because they're standing in her way]

Guest

Excuse me.

Nate

Sorry.

[They move a little apart and let her through]

Nate

We can't talk here.

Serena

What? Where Blair might see us?

Nate

Meet me in Chuck's suite.

[Nate talks a key out of his pocket]

Serena

I'm not sneaking around with you.

Nate

Please, just to talk.

[Serena takes the key]

Serena

Ten minutes.

Nate

I meet you up there.

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - BALL ROOM - Howie is talking to Blair]

Howie

You look beautiful as always. Where's you're lovely mother today?

Blair

Paris. Must be some drama at the atelier.

Howie

Nothing too dramatic, I hope. Her line is doing very well. I was just telling my firm what a great investment she'd make. She's really going places.

Blair

Hopefully places far far away. Just kidding.

[Nate walks over and takes Blair's empty glass]

Nate

Hey. I'll get you a refill. I'll be right back.

Howie

I'll go with you. Excuse us.

[Nate kisses Blair on the cheek and they walk away]

Howie

Blair seems happy. Looks like... you're taking care of business as we discussed.

Nate

Dad, not everything in life's a business deal.

Howie

Come talk to me in thirty years.

[They walk up to a guest]

Howie

I want to introduce you to Timothy Good. His firm has some really interessting summer interships.

[Nate and Mr. Good shake hands]

Nate

Hey.

Mr. Good

Nice to meet you.

[Chuck walks up to Blair]

Blair

I can't believe Serena came to this brunch. I told her to stay away.

Chuck

You worried about Nate? Just a shot in the dark. I think you know what you need to do to get his attention.

[Chuck offers her a key]

Blair

And what's that?

Chuck

A key to my suite, Nate's heart and your future happiness.

[Blair takes the key]

Chuck

I'm honored to be playing an even small role in your deflowering.

Blair

You're disgusting.

Chuck

Yes, I am. So why be shy? Just grab Nate and finish this. Report back with details.

[Blair walks off]

[Blair walks over to Nate who is just saying goodbye to Mr. Good and his father]

Nate

Nice to meet you. Dad.

Blair

What are you doing right now?

Nate

Ah, well, I was just gonna...

Blair

What about me?

Nate

Uhm...

Blair

Do you have a better offer or...

Nate

No, of course not.

Blair

Yeah?

Nate

Now?

Blair

Now. Now.

[Blair and Nate leave, Chuck looks after them]

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - The elevator doors open and reveal Nate and Blair kissing]

Nate

Where are we going?

Blair

I've got us the best room in the whole place.

[INT CHUCK'S ROOM - Blair pushes Nate through the door]

Nate

Wait, this is Chuck's room.

[Serena is already there]

Serena

Nate...

[Blair looks at Serena in disbelief]

Blair

Serena?

Serena

Blair.

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Spotted: N and B, hot and heavy in the halls of The Palace Hotel, only to find S already waiting. Sparks were flying for sure... but will it be a three-way? Or D-day?

Blair

What is she doing here?

Serena

I was waiting for Nate.

Nate

Just to talk, I swear.

Blair

You said you'd never speak to her again!

Serena

You said that? Why would you say that?

Blair

Because you can't be trusted!

Nate

It's not Serena's fault.

Blair

Do not defend her!

Nate

I asked her to come.

Blair

Oh, oh, so you want to talk to her.

Nate

Yes. Yes, to explain... why I'm not talking to her.

Blair

Maybe I leave you two to finish that fascinating conversation.

Serena

Uh, no, no, I'll go. Let you guys get back to your quicky.

Blair

It wasn't a quicky. Sex is actually kind of a big deal to some of us.

Serena

Oh, yeah, I can see that. Chuck's bed? Very romantic. Classy too.

Blair

Oh, like you. I bet your new friend Dan would love to hear all about how classy you are.

Serena

Dan? What...

[Blair runs off]

Serena

God, do you really think she's gonna tell him?

Nate

It's Blair.

[They run after her]

Serena

I can't believe you told her.

Nate

You just expected me to keep it a secret?

Serena

Yes, Nate. There's nothing wrong with keeping a secret if the truth is gonna hurt someone!

Nate

That's a hell of a way to look at things.

Serena

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise in all this you were the most honest guy on the planet.

[EXT THE PALACE HOTEL - Dan is stepping outside to look for Serena, he sees Bart and Lily talking to each other]

Bart

It just seems to me that you're the one doesn't want to be seen together in public.

Lily

No, I do want to be seen together. I just don't want to see you together with anyone else. Tell your harem of shopgirls and models that you're seeing someone.

Bart

I am... but those conversations take a little time.

Lily

Well, they got nothing but time, Bart, they're twenty-five.

[Lily notices Dan standing by the entrance looking at them]

Lily

Excuse me.

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - Dan walks back inside, Lily follows him]

Lily

Dan, wait! Look, I really don't appreciate your lurking in the shadows eavesdropping on my private conversation.

Dan

What? No, no, I wasn't. I was looking for Serena.

Lily

Well, I don't see her. Do you?

Dan

No, which is why I was looking.

Dan

I don't know what you're doing here or what you think you heard...

Dan

Nothing, I heard nothing.

But Serena doesn't know.

Dan

And neither do I, ok? So now if you excuse me, I'm gonna go back inside, not tell anyone a thing and mind my own business.

[INT THE PALACE HOTEL - BALL ROOM - Blair walks up to Dan]

Blair

Dan? Hi, I'm Blair Waldorf, Serena's friend.

Dan

Oh, hey. Yeah, do you happen to know where she is?

Blair

As a matter of fact I do.

[Serena and Nate come running in]

Serena

Blair!

Dan

Serena, there you are.

Serena

Hi.

Where were you?

Blair

She was waiting in a hotel room... for my boyfriend.

Serena

To talk!

Nate

About why we weren't talking.

Blair

That doesn't sound any smarter the second time.

Dan

Why weren't you talking? Does this have anything to do with why you were waiting for Serena this morning?

Blair

You were what?

[Chuck joins them]

Chuck

And here I thought you were waiting for me.

Oh, exactly what the situation needs: Chuck. No what is going on here?

Blair

We were just getting to that.

Serena

Blair, please, don't do this.

Blair

Sorry, did you want to tell him?

Chuck

I'll tell him.

Nate and Blair

You know?

Chuck

I know everything.

Dan

And apparently I know nothing.

Serena

Look, Dan, it was a long time ago and I regret it...

Chuck

Look, Serena, stop trying to pretend you're a good girl. So you slept with best friend's boyfriend. I kind of admire you for it.

Dan

Is that true?

Blair

Well, than she ran away and lied about it. I just thought you should know before you fall head over heels for your perfect girl in her perfect world... and then get left all alone with no one but your 'Cabbage Patch Kid'.

Nate

'Cabbage Patch'?

Dan

Did you talk to my sister?

Chuck

Ah, yes, little Jenny. Do believe she and I have some unfinished business.

[Dan walks up close to Chuck]

Dan

You stay away from her.

Chuck

Poor devil, so little time so many sluts to fu...

[Dan pushes Chuck who crushes into a waiter causing him to fall down, all guests turn around to look at the scene, Katy is making photos with her cell phone while Isabel is texting]

Dan

It's fine! It's fine! Everyone can stop looking. He's a jerk. But it's my fault and... and I'm leaving.

Serena

I'll go with you.

Dan

Actually, I'd prefer if you didn't.

[Dan walks off]

Nate

Hope you're happy.

Blair

Not even close.

[Blair walks off, Nate follows her]

Chuck

Looks like it's just you and me. Apparently my room's available if...

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Some might call this a fustercluck... but on the Upper East Side we call it Sunday afternoon.

[EXT THE PALACE HOTEL - Serena is running after Dan]

Serena

Dan! Dan, wait! I'm so sorry.

Dan

There's... there's no need to be, really. I shouldn't have come here today. I made a mistake.

Serena

No, you didn't. Look, I'm sorry about Blair and Chuck...

Dan

It's not about Blair or Chuck... I mean, it is but it's not just them.

Serena

No, I know. Trust me, I know. This world... it's crazy.

Dan

Yeah, yeah it is... and you're part of it.

Serena

What... and you didn't know that?

Dan

I don't know... I thought you were different.

[Dan turns around and starts walking away]

Serena

Well, I'm sorry I'm not who you thought I was. But.. what's happened is in the past, you know.

[Dan stops]

Serena

And all that I can do is try to change. But if you can't accept that then... you know... you're not who I thought you were. Well, I guess we both made mistakes.

[Serena walks away from Dan, Dan looks after her, then starts walking, Serena turns around but Dan is leaving]

[HOME OF THE HUMPHREYS - KITCHEN - Dan is sitting at the counter drinking tea, Jenny and Rufus come home, Jenny is holding a pot with flowers]

Jenny

Hi.

Rufus

Hey, Jen said you went looking for Serena. Did you find her?

Dan

Yeah, yeah, I found her and then I lost her.

Rufus

Oh, eh, that's... eh...

Dan

It's fine. It's fine, really. It's all for the best. Serena and her friends and her family... her whole world... turns out it wasn't for me.

Jenny

Wait, Dan. What happened?

Jenny

Did you tell Blair Waldorf about Cedric?

Jenny

I... it may have come up.

Dan

You can't trust these people, Jen. Don't tell them anything. Those are nice floweres.

Jenny

They're hydrangeas.

[HOME OF THE WALDROFS - BLAIR'S ROOM - Nate and Blair are lying in bed together, both are fully dressed, Blair has her back turned to Nate]

Nate

Look, Blair, either you try to forgive me and move on... or we end it.

[Nate puts his hand on her shoulders and he covers it with hers]

[EXT HOME OF THE HUMPHREYS - Dan is stepping outside on the fire escape]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

Well, Serena's mytery man is a mystery no longer. His name is... oh, who cares. Now that he and S are over... so are his fifteen minutes.

[INT HOME OF THE HUMPHREYS - JENNY'S ROOM - Jenny is wearing her new blue dress and looks at herself in the mirror]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

But his sister Jenny was spotted with a new dress... gifted from Blair herself. Everyone knows an Eleanor original is the uniform of B's private army. But will J be a loyal soldier? Or will she side with S's rebel forces?

[THE PALACE HOTEL - CHUCK'S ROOM - Chuck is lying on his bed looking at 'Gossip Girl' on his cell phone, a blonde is cooling his black eye with ice]

And as for S herself: We hear she left today's brunch with... no friends, no boy and nowhere left to run.

[EXT NEW YORK - Serena is walking down the street looking at pictures of Blair, Nate and herself on her cell phone]

[HOME OF THE WALDORFS - BLAIR'S ROOM - Blair squeezes Nate's hand]

[HOME OF THE HUMPHREYS - JENNY'S ROOM - Jenny is standing in front of a mirror]

[EXT HOME OF THE HUMPHREYS - Dan is sitting on the fire escape, staring into the night]

[EXT NEW YORK - Serena looks at a picture of herself hugging Blair]

Gossip Girl (Voice Over)

It looks like the ultimate insider has become a total outsider. It's your move, Serena. And you know who'll be watching: Gossip Girl.

[Serena throws her cell phone into a garbage can]