10x02 - Whittle Me This!/Mayor May Not

[bunniefuu]

[jazzy music]

- ♪ Timmy's still an average kid ♪

♪ That no one understands

♪ Chloe's his new neighbor

♪ And she's ruining all his plans ♪

- Aah!

- ♪ All the wishes

♪ In the world

♪ So why should he care?

♪ Jorgen has reported there's a fairy shortage ♪

♪ So Timmy has to share

♪ His OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

- More than one? - This should be fun!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Feather suit, nature boots, laser sh**ting, rescue ♪

- World peace, kale treats,

bunny feet, real neat!

- What? No! Leave me alone!

My fairies! Get your own!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Timmy, beware, you'll have to share ♪

♪ Your fairly OddParents

- Yeah, right!

[upbeat music]

♪

- Well, it's the big day.

- You don't have to tell me.

The newest release of my favorite game

just came out, "Hillbilly Road Rage."

Yee-haw!

Hillbillies are awesome.

They park on the lawn,

never have to brush their teeth,

and they can take their own cousins to the school dance.

- But I'm talking about a romantic day

that only comes once a year.

- Ah, Tuesday?

- That comes once a week.

- Oh. Wednesday?

- It's our anniversary,Cosmo!

You forget every year.

- Oh, Timmy,

your little friend Chloe's here.

- Tell her I'm busy building an outhouse.

Get 'er done.

- [guffawing]

- Timmy, you know our family motto.

- "Blame Dinkleberg"?

- Yes,

and, "Never turn away the girl

who gave me the stock tip that made me filthy rich."

I love being rich,

but I'm not blowing my money on dumb things.

I'm sinking it into being a crime-fighting superhero

with a jet pack and a very expensive helper monkey

named Chaz.

No, that's not helping, Chaz!

- Well, I'm off to the fairy mall

to buy presents for that--

hint, hint-- special day.

- You mean Tuesday?

- Hey, Timmy, I have an hour of unstructured time.

Want to go clean the ocean with me?

- Playing my game here.

- [guffawing]

- The bearded lady in your game gave me an idea.

I'll whittle Wanda something for our anniversary.

[concentrated grunting]

[cat ringtone chimes]

- Ugh, it's Catman.

He's been bugging me all morning.

- Timmy, it's Catman.

I have a feline favor to ask,

but enemies of justice might be listening,

so we'll need to talk in secret cat code.

Meow-- hiss, hiss--

[gags]

That wasn't code.

It was a fur ball.

- Just spit it out,Catman.

- If you mean the fur ball, already taken care of.

Anyway, it's my th anniversary as a superhero,

and I'm throwing a big gala event.

- Can't come-- playing my game now.

- Timmy, that wasn't very nice.

That sweet old man in the animal suit

invited you to his party, and you should go.

- He's a crazy actor who played Catman on TV

and he thinks he's a real superhero.

He's nuts and dangerous,

which is also the title of a TV show

he keeps pitching me.

He wants me to play Nuts.

- Well, so what if he's crazy, Timmy?

I'm kind to my uncle, and he dresses like a nurse

and yells at buses.

I wish you'd be nice and go to Catman's party.

- Wish granted!

both: Wait, what?

[triumphant fanfare]

- Timmy, it's Catman's party!

- Yay!

- Ooh, this is gonna be fun--

or super weird.

- Surrender, tiny red dot!

You're a disease and Catman is the cure.

- And it just got weirder.

- Timmy, you're here.

Now it's the purr-fect party.

- Yeah, not really much of a party, Catman.

- Well, I tried to order a bunch of party stuff,

but apparently you have to pay for it.

Who knew?

- Everyone who's not crazy?

- Hi, Mr. Catman.

I am honored to attend your th anniversary gala.

- Wait-- could it be...

Catgirl?

- Uh, no, I'm Chloe Carmichael.

- Clever, using a secret identity,

but you can't fool this crafty cat.

You haven't changed a bit.

[cat meows]

- I see the resemblance, but--

- I still have your cat costume.

It may be a little stretched out.

I wore it on laundry day.

- Oh, boy, I am-- oh, dear.

- I know.

I'm speechless too,

except for these words that I'm saying right now.

Thank you, Timmy,

for this joyful reunion with my beloved sidekick.

- I'm loving it too.

[shutter clicks]

- Catgirl, it's time for us to fight crime again.

To the Catcave!

- To the what now?

Ah! - Oops.

We landed on my catapult. - Ahh!

- I'm almost done with my anniversary present, Timmy.

I'm whittling Wanda a simple little heart with our initials.

Ta-da!

- Wow, Cosmo, that's amazing.

- No, it's totally wrong and super creepy.

It's four severed heads on some rocks.

- Citizen Timmy,

Catgirl and I are lodged in a trash chute.

- Help. -Good luck, Catgirl.

Way to be nice.

Poof us home, Cosmo.

- Oh, no.

This is my worst fear.

It's the work of a supervillain

called the Whittler.

He's obviously kidnapped Timmy

and left this whittling behind as a clue.

We're gonna find Timmy Turner

if we have to scour every filthy,

crime-infested back alley from Dimmsdale

to Cat-man Do.

- But I have school on Monday.

- To the Catmobile!

- Ahh!

[horn honks]

[exciting music]

- Ooh.

Are you superheroes, too,

or just crazy people dressed like cats?

- Superheroes.

- Crazy people.

- I'm Catman.

This is my faithful feline friend, Catgirl.

- Help.

- Ooh, I'm Filthy Rich Man.

When I see a problem, I throw money at it.

- Morning, Turner. Nice underpants--

- Dinkleberg is a problem!

- I dig your shtick, Filthy Rich Man.

You should join us on our mission

to rescue Timmy Turner from the Whittler.

- Timmy Turner--

Timmy Turner--

why does that name sound so familiar?

- Everyone, hop on the Catmobile and hold on tight.

Turbines to speed.

[horn honks]

[exciting music]

- Okay, I think I've got it this time.

A simple heart with Wanda's and my initials on it--

Oh, no!

I've accidentally whittled a weird little man

whittling a weird little man.

This is garbage.

- Ow!

I got hit with a statue of a weird little man

whittling a weird little man.

Weird! - The Whittler strikes again.

He's whittled a whittling

of the Whittler whittling the Whittler whittling

the Whittler.

- I don't know what the hoobamajeebers

is going on down there and I don't want to find out.

Poof us out of here, Cosmo.

- Holy hair ba*ls!

Do my cat eyes deceive me or did Timmy Turner

just magically poof away?

- Uh-oh.

Um, there's no such thing as poofing away,

and there is certainly no such thing as magic.

- I happen to know a superhero who's an expert on magic.

It's time to summon the Falcon.

- Oh, these ballroom dancing lessons keep me limber.

I have to stay in shape on the off chance

that a real woman loses a bet and I get a date.

[deep whistle]

The call-- turns out I do have a date--

a date with destiny.

The Falcon rises!

Gah, my back!

[exciting music]

- This is the Falcon's lair.

He'll swoop in soon.

[monkey chattering]

Really, Chaz, chili cheese fries again?

I'm not getting in the car with you.

- Help.

- The Falcon enters.

The Falcon sits.

- Oh, Mr. Falcon,

we're after a villain named the Whittler.

He kidnapped my son,

Tommy something.

- The Whittler left this clue.

It's the Whittler whittling the Whittler whittling.

- Hmm.

This whittling Whittler has wings.

He's a fairy!

The Falcon is on it.

This is my Fairy Sucker-Upper.

The name is a work in progress.

Before the Falcon returns to his nest or,

in this case, his orthopedic bed,

that fairy will be mine!

- Oh, no.

Cosmo.

- I don't know who Cosmo is,

but I share an equal sense of alarm

about those chili cheese fries.

[exciting music]

[phone ringing]

- Timmy, something terrible is about to happen.

- Of course it is.

You're with Catman. See ya.

- I think I got it this time, Timmy.

A simple little heart-- gah!

It's a working diorama of the World's Fair!

I failed again.

[grunts]

- Ah!

- Chili cheese fries--

oh, the humanity!

- Aha--according to my Fairy Sucker-Upper,

we're getting close.

- Yes!

I got rabies from a possum.

I won!

This is the best day ever.

both: Ahh!

- Surrender, Whittler.

You've whittled your last whittling

of a whittler whittling a whittler.

- Stand back.

Fairy in the hole!

- Ahh!

Timmy, help!

Ahh!

- Oops, I have tripped on my cape.

- [grunting]

Mother!

all: Ahh!

- Happy anniversary, Cosmo.

- Oh, Wanda,

I tried so hard to make you something special and romantic,

but all I could come up with was this.

- Aw, you made this yourself?

- Mm-hmm.

Just me, my knife,

and a devastating expl*si*n

that nearly k*lled Timmy, Chloe,

three grown men in their underpants,

and a gassy monkey.

- Well, whatever it took you to get there, it's lovely.

I got you something sentimental too.

They're pinky rings.

When you put them together,

they make a heart.

- Oh, that's so sweet.

Mm--

I hope she got a gift receipt.

- Looking good, Catgirl.

Bet you wish you'd listened to me

and never went to Catman's party.

- No, I still think I did the right thing

by being nice to a lonely old man,

despite the nightmares I'll have for weeks--maybe forever.

- Catgirl,

together we saved Timmy and thwarted the Whittler.

Today was the bestest.

I wish we could fight crime together every day.

- Oh, that's so sweet.

I wish that too.

- Wish granted!

- Wait, what?

- Criminals of Dimmsdale, beware.

You don't stand a chance

against the Fearsome Foursome featuring Chaz.

- Ah!

Not helping, Chaz.

[horn honks]

all: Ahh!

[upbeat music]

♪

- Timmy,

why did you wish to visit the evil chicken people?

The word "evil" is right in their name.

- What did you want me to do, my homework?

Ha!

- Ta-da!

Who wants an evil omelet?

Ahh!

[panting]

- Oh, Timmy--

both: Ahh!

- Oh.

Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Chicken,

I thought this was my son Timmy's room.

- Uh, Dad, it's me and Chloe.

- Wait, who and Chloe?

Timmy-- oh, I need help.

Get the therapy puppet.

[sobbing]

- [groans]

Okay, Dad, I'm here for you.

- Do the voice!

- [high-pitched voice] Let's talk about feelings.

- Oh, puppet, I thought being filthy rich

would buy me respect,

but all it bought me was this $ , velvet tracksuit

and a blinged-out hovercraft.

- Hey, Turner,

you parked your hovercraft on my lawn.

- It's not on your lawn.

It's above your lawn!

It's a hovercraft, you stooge.

It hovers, stooge!

- You know, Mr. Turner, maybe you'd get more respect

if you were a little less of a, um,

J-E-R-K?

- Uh--jork?

Do jorks get respect?

Got to think--other than jorks, who gets respect?

- Doctors, teachers, humanitarians--

- Cage fighters, Sasquatch, time cops--

- I've got it!

I'll be mayor,

'cause everyone respects politicians.

- Ooh, you're going to be mayor?

Then I get to be First Lady.

- Oh, I don't think so.

When I'm mayor, I'll have my pick of women.

You can be in there somewhere.

I mean, vote for me!

I'm running for mayor, Timmy.

Time me!

- My poor dad is such a jork.

He's never gonna get elected mayor.

- You know, technically,

he doesn't have to get elected.

We could wish for him to be mayor.

- And I wouldn't have to do the puppet again,

so I'm in.

Cosmo, Wanda-- I wish my dad was mayor.

- I won!

- Chet Ubetcha at the mayor's mansion with breaking news--

Timmy's dad has magically been elected mayor.

- Ooh, now I have respect.

Do I also get flowers and a tiara?

- You're mayor.

You can get whatever you want.

Now that you're suddenly not mayor, Mayor,

what are your plans?

- Now I'm going to pursue my real dream

of turning my goat, Chompy,

into a hip-hop recording star.

Give 'em a taste, Chompy.

[Chompy bleats]

He's got mad skills, yo.

- Look, it's the mayor's kid.

[clamoring]

- [laughs]

- And his smarter friend.

all: Yay!

- So, Mayor Timmy's Dad,

what are your goals now that you're in office?

- First, I'm gonna put a $ , bounty on Dinkleberg.

Second, I just upped the bounty to , ,

and now policemen must wear bunny suits.

Instead of coppers, they'll be hoppers.

See what I did there?

Vote for me!

- What are you going to do

about the crumbling Dimmsdale dam?

- Not my problem!

- Ahh!

Oh--

- Congratulations, Mrs. Mayor.

- Ooh!

As Mrs. Mayor, I decree that,

whenever you see me, you have to say "awooga"

and make wolf whistles.

- But my wife will throw me out. - Not my problem.

all: Awooga!

- And, as the mayor's son,

I declare that the school day be shortened to five minutes,

and that five minutes is recess.

Booyah!

- But there'll be no time to learn anything.

- Not my problem.

[laughing]

- Have a good day.

- Hey, it's the kid

who shortened the school day to five minutes.

all: Mayor's kid! Mayor's kid!

- Ooh, my favorite student--

- Hi, Mr. Crocker.

- No, not you, Blondie--

the mayor's kid!

His father controls the town budget

and therefore my salary.

Anyhoo, you got an "A" on your book report, Turner.

- But I didn't do it.

- I did it for you.

It was your best work ever.

- Things are going great.

I'm getting straight As

and everyone follows me around and takes my picture.

[shutters clicking]

[school bell rings]

- Day's over--whoopee!

I hate kids!

- It's time to pass some laws.

Are you with me, yes men?

all: Yes.

- I hereby decree that all streets in Dimmsdale

will be named Dad Highway,

'cause it's Dad's way or the highway.

See what I did there?

all: Yes.

- Also, I'll cut daily commute times

by making all traffic lights permanently green.

Is that crazy?

all: Yes.

- Not my problem.

- Bye, Chloe. Bye, paparazzi.

I said bye.

No more pictures!

Ahh!

Boy, when I wished for my dad to be mayor,

I really didn't see this whole paparazzi thing coming.

- Yeah, just like Dinkleberg didn't see Mr. Crocker

and his mother coming.

- No one makes a field snare like you, Mother.

Now cut him down.

We'll split the grand

and go our separate ways.

- What do you say we get back

into our regular routine, sport?

You know, where we roll our eyes

while you make irresponsible wishes?

- Awesome idea!

I wish I were a sumo wrestler.

[gong rings]

- I'm wearing a diaper!

It's so practical.

both: Ahh!

- Cosmo, Wanda, why'd you turn back into fish?

I need your magic.

[shutters clicking]

Ahh!

- "Mayor's kid goes cuckoo,

dresses in diapers, and yells at fish."

That's the first and last time

I'll ever say that sentence.

- Everyone thinks I'm crazy,

and, worse yet, people saw my butt.

[horns honking]

- Ah!

- Timmy,

your dad's green light law is wreaking havoc.

- Not my problem.

My problem is that people saw my butt.

- Well, someone's got to do something.

Cosmo, Wanda,

I wish I could help the copper hoppers

direct traffic.

Pedestrians have the right of way!

- Ahh!

- I need to get somewhere

the paparazzi can't find us.

Poof me to the middle of nowhere.

- Here we are, Timmy, in nowhere.

Population: one.

Make that none.

- I'd make your wish quick,sport.

People don't survive long in this kind of heat.

- Oh, now that you mention it, I am kind of hot.

Can you guys poof me up some water?

- You got it, Timmy. Ta-da!

- Cosmo, I am not drinking out of a toilet.

- Why not? Dogs do it all the time.

- Do I look like a dog to you?

[shutters clicking]

- "Mayor's kid a total nut job--

yells at toilet in underpants."

- Boy, Timmy, you have really lost it.

You might need the puppet.

- I just need to clear my head

and get away from this whole nightmare.

- [laughs]

Hardy-har-har-har.

And that concludes tonight's segment of

"The Mayor's Kid's a Kook,"

featuring Dimmsdale's own local loony, Timmy Turner.

- Yay, Timmy!

You're famous.

- Oh, people saw my butt again.

When will the madness end?

- Well, you know,sport,

you can always un-wish your mayor wish.

- I can't do that to my dad.

Being mayor makes him so happy.

- They caught Dinkleberg!

Oh, I'm so happy!

- [laughing]

both: Ahh!

- Huh?

Ah!

- Ah!

both: Ahh!

[toilet flushes]

- I can't believe I'm saying this,

but as long as my dad's mayor,

it's not safe for you guys to be around me.

- What are you saying,sport?

- I have no choice.

Cosmo, Wanda,

I have to give you up.

You guys'll be okay.

You can live with Chloe.

- Well, her room is cleaner.

- Oh, sport--

- Let's be strong, guys.

No one cry.

[all wailing]

- Hey!

- Ah!

clang!

Oh, sorry, Dad, I lost it.

- It's okay, Timmy.

I watched "The Mayor's Kid's a Kook,"

and I heard your tearful good-bye to your fish

and then you pretending to be your fish

and answering yourself.

Cuckoo, cuckoo.

Anyway, Son, I love being mayor,

but I can't stand seeing you this sad,

so I'm gonna resign.

Also, I'm sick of seeing pictures of your butt.

- [laughs]

This is awesome.

Now that my dad's not mayor,

I wish the paparazzi were gone.

[triumphant fanfare]

[horn honking]

- This is Chet Ubetcha with breaking news.

Timmy's dad has resigned as mayor.

Everything is back to normal,

and by normal, I mean we have a mayor

who lives with a goat that's an international rap star.

[Chompy bleats]

- Chompy won a People's Goat Award.

[munching]

- I'm still glad we wished for your dad to be mayor.

- People saw my butt!

- Oh, Timmy,

I found a new way to get respect--

being a good dad--

also by being a test subject

for a new hair growth formula.

It's called Crazy Hair.

[glugging]

Help, my hair is crazy!

Ahh!

- Ow!

- I'm okay.

Your mom broke my fall.

- Not my problem.