06x03 - Mission: Responsible/Hairicane

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ Because in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents!

Vicky: yeah, right.

Ah! Boy trying to read comics here!

Fairy trying to change diaper here.

[Baby crying]

Baby! Butt! Powder! Bye! Aah!

Wanda: hold him, cosmo.

Oh, please, I can't-- I need your help. Come on!

That's the rd diaper today.

Well, at least my blood-curdling screams

Calmed him to sleep.

Wha--you've already washed and powdered me.

Before you diaper my head, why don't you take a break from the baby.

I know, as new parents you'd never leave your child alone, but--

I made reservations at chez fairee,

The best restaurant in fairy world.

Ooh, than I better learn how to use a soup spoon properly.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

I'll just call mama cosmo to babysit.

What? No! Not mama cosmo!

She pinches my cheek way too hard.

He's right. We are a hard cheek-pinching family.

Front and back.

I can totally take care of my sleeping fairy godbrother all by myself.

Uh-huh. Just like you said you could take care of

Some other things around here.

[Birds cawing]

But I'm a whole week older now. I mean, I can do this.

And if there's a problem, hello, you're fairies.

You can just poof right back here.

It's almost like you'll be dining in the bathroom.

We're dining in the bathroom?

Then I better learn how to use toilet paper.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Well, a nice, quiet dinner with my man

Does sound kind of nice.

Man? What man?

Does your man know how to use toilet paper like me?

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Don't worry. I won't take my eyes off poof for one second.

Check it out.

All right, all right.

Here's a fairy-phone

To call us if anything goes wrong.

Keep the windows shut, no violent tv,

And don't wake him up.

Your mission, timmy turner, if you choose to accept it,

Is to be responsible and watch your baby god-brother.

This message will self-destruct in seconds.

One--yaah!

Get out of here and have a great dinner, you kooky love-birds.

We're trusting you, timmy, to keep an eye on poof.

And I'm keeping my eye on you and this man of yours.

Ohh...

Cool. Mission: responsible is underway.

This is so nice, and no crying or poop.

There's no crying or poop here, is there?

No. We don't serve crying or poop.

Speaking of poop, maybe I'll check in on timmy.

Poof is fine. He's just like me.

Nothing to worry about. Ooh! A napkin.

I better learn how to use it before your man gets here.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

I'm calling.

[Ring]

Responsible big brother here.

Oh, did cosmo dial the phone and hand it to me?

Oh, well, while I have you, do you need anything?

Do you want to wish for anything?

We could poof you up something from here.

Yes. I wish you would stop worrying and have fun

With a conga line.

Oh, that's sweet. Ha ha!

Ok. Call if you need anything.

I knew it.

You're seeing a conga line of men with poofy sleeves.

[Beep] ptooey!

Well, poof, it's you and me,

And this is a great opportunity for your big brother

To teach you the finer things in life,

Like goofing off.

Step one--get cool and comfortable.

Get away, you vultures.

Step two--when a note says, "keep the tv off,"

Turn it on and toss in an evil laugh for effect.

[Laughs maniacally]

This is called "watching a movie you're not supposed to

With the window wide open."

[Giggles]

And wanda thought I couldn't take care of you. Ha!

I can see it now.

She'll come home and say, "oh, look.

"Poof is asleep in timmy's arms.

You're so responsible, timmy,"

And cosmo will say, "ow! Ow! Ow!"

And I'll say, "ha ha! Told you so," right, poof?

Aah!

♪ My baby's gone

♪ Gone, gone, gone

Not thinking about baby poof.

Our specials tonight are baby back ribs

With baby carrots and baby squash

And for desert, cream poofs.

Poof, where are you?

Pooooof! [Ring]

Hey, guys, are you having fun?

Because everything is great here.

Oh, look. The baby is still asleep.

[Snores]

He's snoring kind of loud.

Are you sure poof is ok?

Yaah!

[Giggling]

Aah!

I mean, ooh, I just remembered,

I want to warm up poof's bottle

For when he wakes up and everything is great.

Bye.

Can you believe it?

Dinkelberg is building a -story addition to his house.

An irresponsible child could get really hurt

If he wandered in there.

Timmy: yeah. Do you mind if I go over and check it out?

Have fun, son.

Now let's watch a movie we're not supposed to

With the window wide open.

Aah!

Whee!

Ok, turner.

Just get poof off the dangerous metal

And into his crib before cosmo and wanda get home.

Gotcha!

You were about to walk off, but I got you, and...

You did walk off, but you can float, and I can't.

Aah!

Got to wash off before it dries.

[Giggles]

Ha ha. You think that was fun?

You're lucky this wasn't more dangerous.

What are you doing?

[Reads]

Can this get any more dangerous?

[Giggles]

Got to stop talking to that kid.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Ok. You've had your fun, and your safe,

And the good thing is, there's not

A more dangerous construction zone in the world...

And why did I just say that?

[Giggles]

My own fault.

Yes. I, dark laser, am nearly finished

Rebuilding my ultimate, destructive w*apon--

The deathball,

And once complete, I can destroy the earth.

Isn't that right, flipsie?

[Arf arf]

Ha ha ha! He's running up and down on my deathball.

[Giggles]

No. I want the entry foyer looking scarier.

Come on, people. I'm evil.

What is that?your evil couch, sir.

No. No. No!

I want the outside evil, but inside, I want cozy shabby chic.

Bring me new color swatches,

And does this look like satin taffeta to you, people?

Man: the quarkatomic power orb, sir.

It's out of energy.

[Beep beep beep]

Oh, that's just great.

Where am I gonna find an energy source strong enough

To destroy the earth now?

Ok. You got to poof that guy away,

But, don't let him see you.

Ok. Now we have enough power.

Swell, but where did this squishy, smelly power source come from?

Timmy: hey, dark laser, what's up?

Uh, can you give me my little bro back and--

We meet again, timmy turner,

But this time, I will defeat you

With my triple-action light sword with glossy onyx inlay.

Ha ha ha! An inlay. Ha ha ha!

Look. No fingerprints. Ooh, ooh.

Look! Flipsie is about to flip.

He is. Where? Where?

There he is. Seize him but stay off the carpet.

Yaah! Aah! Aah!

Yaah!

Aah! That's italian granite!

For that, I will destroy your earth twice.

What do you think, flipsie? Flip once for "yes."

[Arf arf]

Ha ha ha!

[Buzz]

Timmy: hey, dork loser.

Too late, turner,

For soon, your world will be gone...twice.

No. Your world will be gone.

Agh! That's mediterranean mortar for my mantel.

Timmy.

Hey, you said my name. That's really sweet.

Ok. Sweet time is over. I got to destroy this place.

Woman on p.a.: Deathball to self-destruct in , ...

Ok, poof. Poof us out of here.

, ...

Any time now, poof us back. Poof us back to-- [ring]

Timmy turner.

Conga line is over, coffee is done, and we're coming home.

Is there anything else?

You know, I've been up and down the stairs,

Warming bottles all night,

And I would love it if you could just poof us back to my room.

Woman: , ...

You got it, sport.

Whew, we made it.

I'm responsible. Aah!

[Caw caw caw]

And I'm dead.

[Giggles]

Poof, daddy is home, and I brought you some leftovers.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Well, what can I say, sweetie?

You really proved yourself responsible.

And tonight at :, more on the cute floating baby

And pink-hatted kid in the high-rise construction zone.

Rattle time, little bro.

Do you know where I can get a deal on some turkish wool rugs?

Don't talk. Just fly.

[Arf arf]

Hee hee hee! Turkish rug, turkish rug,

And I can destroy the earth with my deathball.

Aah! Guys, you got to save me.

My dad wants to cut my hair again.

Aah!

Look, timmy.

We got poof a scrapbook like the one we made for you.

Now we can record all his precious memories, too.

Like this picture of his big brother looking terrified.

Aww.

Dad: oh, timmy.

Initiate bathroom disguise mode.

No son of mine is going to have hippy-dippy, shaggy hair.

We turners are a spic and spiffy family.

But I like my hair where it is, on my hippy-dippy scalp.

Egads. Shaving cream?

Are you old enough to shave, already?

They grow up so fast.

Well, forget this, then.

Mom: ow! My spic and spiffy scalp.

Now that you're officially a hairy man,

I'm taking you to my barber,

But first, I need to tell your mother she's getting old.

I mean, you're getting old.

I really mean she's getting old.

A professional barber? This is awesome.

Right. Because every time your dad cuts your hair,

You end up in the emergency room

And we all laugh at you.

I mean, feel bad for you.

But dad's barber will give me a great haircut.

Nothing can possibly go wrong.

This is all going horribly wrong.

So, you want a pageboy cut, little lady,

Or how bout the man about town?

Irv, we're over here.

You'll have to speak up, girls.

The scissors are awfully loud today.

[Laughter]

Dude, that cut is so nasty, it makes me love my hair,

And I don't have any.

That hairstyle completely lacks style.

"F" for freakish follicles.

Now, that's what I call a hair-don't.

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

No. It looks good. Really good.

This is the worst haircut ever!

Ooh, speaking of haircuts,

I'm going to take poof to fairy world

For his first haircut today,

Then put the hair in his scrapbook.

See you two later.

I'm sick of bad haircuts.

No more dad, no more old guys with chainsaws,

No more people laughing at me.

Right. No more laughing.

Whew, good times.

Ok, sir scalpalot. What is your wish?

I wish I had stylish, nonlaughable hair

That can't be cut ever again.

Timmy, breakfast is ready.

Hair senses tingling.

Something is not right in spic and spiffy land.

[Thunder]

Aah! Ohh!

Oh, my, timmy looks great.

He gets that slow-mo from me.

And he's getting a haircut from me.

Yiiiiii!

Or not.

Now I'm off to school. Bye.

No turner man can have such unlaughably thick, hippy-dippy hair,

Even if it is in slow-mo.

I will cut that hair.

Dr. Rip studwell?

You're the fairy baby barber? Absolutely.

Fairy baby haircuts are intensifficult medical procedures, wanda,

Or so I've read in this book.

Chapter one.

"Fairy babies can get defensive in unfamiliar situations,"

So we must distract the baby with puppets.

[High voice] hiya, poof.

Ready to have some fun with my pal, the...

[Normal voice] handsome dr. Rip studwell?

[Giggles]

[Roar]

Ok. On to chapter two.

[Cheering]

♪ Go, timmy, with your cool hair ♪

♪ Walk in slo-mo while we all stare ♪

If I'm this popular now,

Imagine how much more popular I'd be

If my uncuttable, magical hair was even longer.

Ha ha ha! That tickles.

I wish my stylish hair had even more style,

Oh, and give it even more personality.

Hair with big personality coming up.

Time to tame that mane.

[Laughs maniacally]

Whoo! Whoo!

Hoo hoo! Waah ha!

Gorgeous, uncuttable hair, I love you.

Hair that carries me around?

Awesome!

Now, poof, I'm dr. Rip studwell, talking to you calmly.

Aah aah aah aah!

I didn't want it to come to this,

But it's time for a little laser hair removal.

Say nothing, and this haircut is free.

[Bell rings]

I can't wait for my hair to get me another "a."

An "f"? What for?

For flaunting your follicles.

You fail, turner, and you can't do a thing about it.

Eek!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh!

Did I say "f"? I meant "a"...

Plus!

Ok. That was good because I got another "a"

But bad because my hair is getting out of control

But good because mr. Crocker is in pain.

Wait. Why was it bad again?

Oh, yeah, because my hair is out of control!

Yaah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

Hey, timmy, want to walk home together in slow-mo,

Our gorgeous hair waving in the--aah!

Breeeeeeeeeeze!

Hey, what'd you do that for?

Wait. Are you jealous of trixie?

Look. When I said I loved you,

I meant it in a brotherly, "boy and his hair" sort of way.

You're jealous of my friends, too?

First, you get me an "f,"

And then you get rid of my friends?

Maybe I should get rid of you.

What do you think of that?

[Thunder]

Yaaaah!

I think it made you mad,

Which is why it's time to clip this wish.

Cosmo!

When I said I wanted hair with personality,

I didn't mean obsessive.

Well, maybe you need to be clearer with your wishes.

Ok. I'll be clear now.

I wish my hair was--mmph!

Nope. Still not clear,

And you really shouldn't talk with hair in your mouth.

I'm chet ubetcha saying, dimmsdale has just been voted

The most dangerous city in the world

Because it's being destroyed by a hairicane.

Wait. I'm getting word

That the hair force has been called in

To tame this violent mane.

We're saved...

And by "saved," I mean doomed.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Ee-yah!

Aah!

Cosmo, quick, I wish my hair was cut--

What? Speak up.

You're still not very clear.

Don't worry, son. I'll save you.

Time to trim this problem at the root.

Ooh, w*r paint really brings out my eyes.

Ready for operation buzzcut, sir.

Sorry, soldier, but papa bear is taking this porridge.

Rip: aah! Ooh! Ay! Hey! Uh! Ooh!

Ok...

Now get in there and snip, rip.

Remember, I need that hair for my scrapbook.

[Giggles]

Ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Aha!

Thanks, dr. Rip studwell.

Now, let's go show daddy and timmy your first haircut.

What, no tip?

Don't worry, son. I know what I'm doing.

Is that my dad?

Whoa! This porridge is too hot.

Oh, no!

If my dad tries to cut my uncuttable hair, he's doomed.

Then I'm doomed. We're all doomed!

Yaah!

Aah!

Oh, timmy, look.

I put poof's hair in his scrapbook,

And here's a picture of him with a--

What's going on?

Less talk-y, more wish-y.

I wish my hair was cuttable again.

Ha ha! Time to split some ends.

[Cheering]

Ptooey! Hey, I have hair, and I'm hot.

This is chet ubetcha saying, we're all hot and saved.

Wait. I'm getting word that dimmsdale

Has just been voted most gorgeous city in the world.

[Cheering]

Sorry, dad.

I promise, no more hippy-dippy hair ever.

Are you kidding? I'm hot.

From now on, the turners are a hippy-dippy family.

And a slo-mo family.

Hurry. Let us run into the sunset.

Mmmph...gagh!

Hairball.

Dad: I'm hot.