05x03 - Birthday Wish!/Go Young, West Man!

[bunniefuu]

♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

Bed, twerp!

♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ Because in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

Wands and wings!

Floaty, crowny things!

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

♪ Obtuse rubber goose ♪

♪ Green moose, guava juice ♪

♪ Giant snake, birthday cake ♪

♪ Large fries, chocolate shake! ♪

♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents!

Vicky: yeah, right.

Looks like this is it, my pink-hatted young sidekick.

I never thought it would end like this.

Farewell, old chum.

Aah! Ow! Ooh! Ow!

Dizzy...gonna hurl!

[Cosmo vomits]good game, adam!

Thanks, timmy.

I love it when you come over

To stately west manor

And we play croquet

With your barfing lawn equipment.

Reminds you of your childhood, huh?

Oh, heavens no, timmy.

I didn't get to play like this

When I was a kid.

You see, unlike you, I was a child star.

Really? You were?

Sure.

First I was in "leave it to cat kid."

Ward, I'm a little worried about the cat kid.

Gak!

Adam, voice-over: then I was on "cat kid's island."

Cat kidddd!

Gak!

Adam, voice-over: then there was "happy cat kid days."

Aaah!

We're never gonna find dates for the prom.

Maybe cat kid can help us!

Hay-y-y-y...gak!

Aaah!

Gak!

The hairball was my hook.

Sounds like you had a really great childhood.

Alas, timmy, it was a lot of hard work.

Sure, I made millions of dollars,

But there was the constant threat of being spayed.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I need to ball up in the corner by the fireplace

And quietly cry myself to sleep

Over the childhood that I lost.

[Sobbing]

Oh, poor adam.

He never got a chance to act like a real child.

What about me? I never got a chance

To act like a real cat.

Meow. [Hisses]

[Slurping] gak!

Hey, that could be my hook.

That gives me an idea.

I could wish adam was a kid again.

Then he could have the childhood he really wanted.

Maybe... But for how long?

I don't know. Until he wants to be

An adult again, I guess.

But don't you think he'll notice

When he suddenly turns into a child?

I can totally handle that.

Adam: oh, timmy!

I'm back. It was just a catnap.

[Slurping]adam, I had a crazy idea.

Why not pretend to be a kid again and live out

That fun childhood you never had with me?

Gak!

Well, how can I do that, timmy?

You can pull it off.

You're the greatest actor ever!

Hmm...that is true.

And I can play young!

Just give me a minute

To get into character.

Grrr! Grrr!

Man, I'm good. Gak!

Timmy's mother: we love your new friend, timmy!

Ooh, yeah, he's great!

He's part kid, part pet!

And he loves cat food...

Which is much cheaper than kid food.

Yay!

And he's so affectionate.

Heh. Uh, yeah.

Mrrrrow! [Hisses]

Can he sleep over?

You bet he can. He's part pet!

But if he gets affectionate with my leg,

It's off to the shelter!

All: yay!

Timmy, what do you call this place?

Uh...school.

Didn't you go to one as a kid?

School? School's for kids who can't act.

I'm acting like a kid again

To have fun, not learn.

To the arcade!

Timmy, when I heroically say, "to the arcade,"

You're supposed to follow me. To the arcade.

But ditching school is wrong!

Who cares?

Wow. Never thought of it that way.

Both: to the arcade!

Waxelplax: so timmy turner and this mysterious

Half-pet, half-child

Think they're going to play hooky, eh?

What do you think, truant officer shallowgrave?

I think they made a mistake.

A big mistake.

Remember, you can't spell "hooky" without "hook."

Bring them back alive.

Alive?

I don't have a hook for alive.

That'll be extra.

Really? How much extra?

Yes! Another defeat

At the claws of cat kid!

Coming here on a school day is great!

The arcade is empty. No lines for the games.

Is this heaven or what?

Nope. If this was heaven,

There'd be streets paved with catnip.

And yarn.

Miles and miles of yarn.

Ok.

Come on, to the ticket counter!

[Squeaks]

Sweet!

And it only cost , tickets!

Come on, let's go to the ice cream parlor!

What about school?

Who cares?

Not me!

I do.

And so does this baby.

[Telephone rings]

Hello?

Mr. Shallowgrave? Good news.

We found some extra money in the budget,

So bring them back alive.

Ok.

Time for plan b.

Plan c.

[Growls] plan d.

[Hissing]

Maybe I'll just talk to them.

I don't say this to everyone,

But you'd be perfect as my girlfriend.

Uh, kid, shouldn't you be in school?

"Kid"? Oh, I am good!

Take that, people's choice awards!

[Slurping] [slurping]

Hey, I'm pistachio! My favorite!

[Licking] aah!

I gave myself brain freeze!

Timmy, I know you want to help adam,

But skipping school could get you into trouble.

Man, I love playing a kid.

You can flirt all you want

And never get slapped!

Call me! I could do this forever.

Adam, there's more to being a kid than

Skipping school, going to arcades,

And eating ice cream, you know.

You're right.

To the practical jokes!

Oh, you're good, turner, but I'm better.

Hey. Ice cream.

[Chomp]

Aah!

Brain freeze.

Crocker's house?

He is your arch-enemy, right?

Time to get a little payback.

I don't know about this.

Let's see. Cat-nesia gas? No.

Catarang? No.

Ah! But there is this.

Let's t.p. His house!

I don't mind wasting toilet paper

Because I go in a box!

Yahoo! Yippee! Ha ha! Yeah!

Ha ha ha ha ah!

Aah!

Truant officer shallowgrave!

You were good, turner.

But coming here, to crocker's,

Was predictable.

And now, unless you've learned to act,

It's time to take you in.

What if I told you,

"Look out! A train's about to hit you!"?

Both: no! A bus?

Both: no! A car?

Both: no!

A clown on a unicycle?

Both: yes!

Uh, we mean...tweet!

I sure wish one of those was coming.

Forget it, turner. You're going--

I went to clown school because I couldn't act!

Timmy: you're sure this is a safe place to hide?

In my very own treehouse?

Doesn't that feel very predictable?

That's the beauty of it.

It's such an obvious hiding place,

No one would ever suspect it!

[Sirens wailing]

Shallowgrave: all right, turner!

It's over.

You're going to school

And your part kid, part pet friend

Is headed to the pound!

I stand corrected.

Wow, was I wrong.

I can't go to the pound, timmy.

There's dogs there!

Timmy, there are cops down there!

Yeah, and that truant officer

With a voice like a shallow grave!

What was his name? Deadly ditch? Feet under?

Should we poof you out of here?

No! I can't let them throw adam in the pound,

Or make me explain how he turned into a -year-old.

It looks like I'm gonna have to face this on my own.

Aah!

What a brave kid!

That sounds like something catman would have said.

Hey, I am catman!

Does that sound like a wish timmy would've made?

Both: close enough!

All right, I'm giving myself up!

Uh, really? Are you sure

You don't want to make a fight of it?

A tussle? A minor altercation? A slap fight?

Adam: just one second.

Unhand that boy!

Timmy wasn't playing hooky.

He was with me, a responsible hollywood adult.

So I was technically acting "in loco parenti."

Mostly loco.

That's a little latin legal phrase I learned

When I did "doogie cat kid-- junior lawyer."

So as long as timmy had permission to be with me,

He didn't break any rules.

Is that true?

You better believe it.

We love adam west.

He's part legal guardian and part pet!

And he's so affectionate!

You haven't seen the last of me,

Timmy turner.

Go bully someone your own size.

[Growls]

Other than me.

Wow, something you learned as a child star saved me!

You're right, timmy.

Maybe my childhood

Wasn't so bad after all.

I just asked myself,

"What would catman do?"

Then I realized-- hey, I am catman.

And the last part of that is "man."

You know, I don't normally

Say this to every woman,

But you'd be perfect as my girlfriend.

[Slap] adam: ouch!

I liked it better when I got ice cream.

Well, another victory at the claws of catman.

And if we ever need him again,

We can call him with this.

[Whirring]

Uh, he's so affectionate!

That's it!

You're going to the shelter!

Gak!

[Cat meows]

Chester: I love the all-you-can-eat pizza.

It makes me feel full.

[Chomp]

I love the crude robotic figures.

They make me feel smart.

I love the teeth on that rat! They make me feel normal!

And I also love this pellet pit.

Ptui!

All: this is the greatest place ever!

Tootie: this is the worst place ever!

[Sobbing]

Hurry up and make a wish, birthday brat.

Time is money.

[Sobbing]

Cry all you want. I get paid by the hour.

You ruin my birthday every year!

I wish for once I could have a party

Where everybody wasn't too scared of you to come!

Hi, tootie. [Gasps]

[Growls]

[Screams]

Not one kid came to her party?

Not unless they're invisible.

I would have gone to her dumb party

If she'd invited me!

Um, sport, she did invite you.

Yeah! Times!

[Rings doorbell]

Special delivery for timmy turner.

A free pass to mike e. Mozzarella's?

Sweet!

Ow! My eye! [Crash]

[Doorbell rings]

Ridiculously oversized novelty invitation

For one timmy turner.

Another free pass? Rat-tastic!

Aah! My spine!

[Rings doorbell]

This is a singing reminder-gram

About tootie's birthday party saturday. Ready?

[Growls]

Aah!

[Growls]

Triple sweet!

[Tiger growls]

Mailman: aah! My sweet meats!

Chester: timmy! Yay, timmy!

We're going to the arcade to play rabies hunter.

Thanks again for the free passes!

Watch out you don't slip on her tears.

[Sobbing]

I sure hope these are the pellets that go in,

And not the pellets that come out.

So it's all my fault tootie's having a horrible birthday?

It's not all your fault.

Vicky helped ruin her party, too.

At least she showed up.

Hey, cut it out!

You're making me feel...weird.

Bad weird.

It's called "guilt," sport.

It's a magical emotion.

No, it isn't! It's horrible.

It eats away at you until--until--

You just have to confess what you did.

I'm sorry, wanda. I lied.

I did forget our rd anniversary.

I just pretended to be in a coma!

See? It's magic that works on your heart!

And the only way to make it go away

Is if you do something very special!

Or if you do!

I could loan tootie you guys!

For the rest of her birthday!

Timmy, according to the rules,

You can only loan your fairies

To someone who is twice as miserable as you are.

[Sobbing]

Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!

Well, that settles that.

Perfect! She can wish up

The best birthday party a kid ever had.

Besides mine!

Cosmo, wanda.

I wish you guys were tootie's fairy godparents

For the rest of her birthday!

The whole day? Until midnight?

Well, her bedtime's probably like : ,

So that'll do!

[Sobbing]

Hi, honey.

Sorry we missed your birthday party.

We'd have been there, but--

But we were too afraid of vicky!

[Sobbing]

Hi there! I'm cosmo and this is wanda.

Both: and we're your fairy godparents

For the rest of your birthday!

This is probably all pretty confusing,

So let us take a few seconds to...

I wish I had a pony!

[Whinnying, munching]

Actually, there are a few rules--

I wish I had a diamond saddle!

I wish I could have a big birthday party.

Wait!

So big that every person in dimmsdale

Comes and brings me presents!

Wait! With a fairy princess theme!

You got it!

Ooh, she's a natural!

Wait till she learns about the magic of guilt!

Coma!

Right!

Good afternoon. I'm chet ubetcha,

And it's party central here in downtown dimmsdale

As everyone is gearing up for princess tootie's birthday.

[Crowd cheering]

Timmy: tootie's so happy, I can ignore her

For the rest of the year without feeling any guilt!

What could possibly go wrong?

[Sniff]

Other than having to clean up these "after-pellets."

Hmm...the cake is as tall as the stadium.

Tootie popular.

Me bringing a child a present.

Nothing out of the ordinary here.

Real buttercream icing!

Nobody makes this from scratch anymore!

There can only be one explanation!

Turner must have ignored tootie's

Multiple party invitations,

Thus ruining her birthday.

Feeling guilty, he impulsively loans her his fairy godparents!

Thus the delicious icing

And my chance to expose his fairy godparents!

Thank you for the best birthday ever!

No need to thank us.

You're right!

You already know how nice you are!

But I should tell everyone else!

Uh, tootie, let's just keep that

Little secret between us!

Oh, that would be rude!

Everyone should know how great you are.

Oh, no! Cosmo and wanda

Forgot to tell princess big mouth

That she can't blab to anybody about them,

Or they'll go away forever!

[Crowd cheering]great party, tootie!

I know!

It's all because of my fa--

Keep it moving, folks!

Everybody wants to talk to the birthday princess!

Timmy! I knew you'd come!

Oh, timmy, meet my fairy--

Princess! Not another word.

No time! You have hundreds of presents to open!

You're holding my hand!

Thank you.

Fabulous bash, birthday child!

I have a great, big present for you...

If you can explain how you came to have a cake

With real buttercream icing!

Was it...fairy godparents?!

Uh-uh-uh! Present first!

You're nobody's fool, tootie.

I respect that.

Ok, now I can tell you how I got my icing. My--

Another present, my princess?

Aah!

Oops, my bad.

One detention?

You gave me a detention for my birthday?!

It's a gag gift! Squeeze it! It farts!

[Fart]

[Giggles] neat!

Ooh, look, it's cake time.

Time to make a wish and blow out your birthday candles!

But I already made my wish!

My fair--

You're holding my hand again!

[Laughs]

Whew! Crocker will never find us here.

Aah! You're weird!

Says you!

And several psychiatric professionals.

But that's beside the point.

Is this monumentally moist layer cake

The work of... Give me a second...

Fairy godparents?!

Up-bup-bup!

Princesses don't talk with their mouths full.

Come on! Let's go count those presents!

Both: aah!

Grab onto this, child!

And while you're at it,

Why not tell the world your secret?!

Both: aah!

Don't you wish there was a big trampoline

At the bottom of this cake?!

Aah! Yes! I sure do!

[Laughs] that tickles!

[Laughs] yes! We're safe!

And now we're not.

Only more minutes!

Princess tootie!

You've bounced back just in time

To make your big speech and blow out your candles.

Ahem. Attention, everyone,

It's time for princess tootie's birthday speech!

Hold these.

Help! Aaah!

And when you get back here,

I'm giving you an f!

Make your speech, princess!

If you have a big royal secret,

Now's the time to scream it to the heavens!

I do! I do!

I do have something I want to scream to the heavens!

Aaah!

I wish--oh, that's right, I'm on my own here.

Birthday guests!

Birthday guests!

I, princess tootie,

Want you all to know that I have--

Oh, for heaven's sake, child, spit it out!

Aaah!

[Gasp]

[Both gasp]

A boyfriend!

What?

What? What?

[All gasp]

Both: whew!

I mean, yes! A boyfriend!

Nooo!

[Kiss]

Aah!

Tootie, blink twice if you have...

Fairy godparents!

[Clock chiming]

Fairy what? Who?

This is not over!

And now it is!

Curse you, igor sikorsky,

And all your infernal wingless flying machines!

So, you're my fairy godparents again?

Yes!

Then I wish tootie forgot she had fairy godparents

And forgot that I was her boyfriend!

Thanks for the wonderful

Birthday party, boyfriend.

I can't remember how i--

I'm not your boyfriend.

[Stammering] you're not?

Oh, no! It's the magic of guilt!

Timmy, go for the coma!

Woman: freder!