Evil Bong 777 (2018)

[bunniefuu]

[whooshing]

[bat wings flapping][bats
chittering]

- [Ebee] Hey, hey, you
stoned m*therf*ckers.

It's your favorite
evil bong, Ebee.

Lemme show you what
happened last time.

- I'm the new owner, Lucy Furr.

All new look, all new merch.

- Why are you way hotter
than you were before?

- I was never not hot!

[laughs]

[blows]

- Whoa, dude.

- I'm back, m*therf*cker!

I was stuck in Sexy Hell,

no thanks to that
walking b*ner, Rabbit.

- I just thought I'd drop
by and see how it's going.

Big day, first day and all.

- I need strong
backs and weak minds

to help me enslave the world.

- And you can help me
sacrifice more people

so I can open a
portal to Sexy Hell?

I wanna see Satan!

I'm like his number one fan.

- It's called Sexy Hell,

but you don't want
no part of that sh*t.

- Sarah?

- You know these people?

- Hi ya, dicks. You're all
lookin' a little pastry.

What, are you not
happy to see me?

- The Ginger Little d*ck Man!

How the hell did you get here?

- I whacked a demon in Sexy Hell

and jumped through
a flaming p*ssy.

- Did you say, "Sexy Hell"?

- Sexy Hell, and
that's where I'm going,

even if I have to whack
all of you to do it.

[frightened screams]

- You're coming with me!

- No! Hey! Huh? Oh! Ah!

Hey! Hey! I'm not goin'
back to that sh*thole!

[Ebee yells]

- Who are you?

- I am Beelzebud, High
Priest of Sexy Hell.

- I'm your greatest disciple.

I kneel humbly before you.

[chuckles]

- [Lucy] Ebee is a conduit
to the world above.

She can open a permanent portal.

- It'd be Sexy Hell on Earth!

Let's do it!

[evil laughter]

- The girls are gone.

- We need to work together!

- [Rabbit voiceover]
To fight a monster,

one must create a monster.

- Oh!

- Flour!
[Ebee laughs conspiratorially]

- Brown sugar!

- For the final ingredient!

Ginger weed.

- It's alive!

- Who the f*ck are you?

- Your worst nightmare:

I'm Gingerweed Man.

- Luann is mine.

- You, sir, must be weedinated.

- Oof! Oh sweetie, What
are you doing there?

Oh, whoa! Oh sh*t!

[both exclaiming]

- See what happens
with teamwork?

- You losers will
be working for me!

- Wait 'til I get my revenge.

It's gonna be so bad.

And sexy!

- Wait, you've done
all this before?

- Young lady, Rabbit
has done it all.

All!

- I'd like to propose a toast.

- [giggles]

- To father.

- Aw.

- Thanks, uh, son?

- That's it.

- [baby voice] You really
saved our hashes, Weedy.

You are a boopified hero!

- The f*ck is that?

- Not again!

- Boop [Ebee groans] boop.

- I knew that crazy b*tch
wasn't finished being a b*tch.

- Now what?

- Lucy Furr, she--she's
trying to reopen the portal

but she isn't strong enough.

But who knows how
long it'll take

for her to regain her powers?

- Hey, ain't ya gonna
do something, Weedy?

Like save us or something?

- I got it!

I got it.

- What?

- It. [stammers]
Give me a phone!

- Here.

- There. [inhales]

- There what?

- There.

- There what?

[car pulls up]

- Ladies, your chariot awaits.

- Boop!

- Oi, need a ride?

- Took you long enough.

Everybody in!

C'mon, inside! Inside!

- [Batty] Boop.

[car door closes]

Oh, Vapocup!

- Pray tell, what easterly winds

doth blow the
leaves on the bough?

- Say again?

- Where are we going?

- [sighs] Where
would you go hide

from a over-sexed skank
and a demonic overlord?

- Prophets foretell
of the Valley?

- No, the other place.

- [Misty] We're
going to Branson?

Oh my god, I've always wanted
to see dead celebrities

propped up on the stage.

- No, the other place.

We're going to Vegas!

- Vegas, m*therf*ckers.

- [Misty] I've
never heard of this

ride-share service before.

What is it?

- Splyft.

- Splyft? Why is it called that?

- Show her, driver!

- [Driver] Roger Dodger.

[silence]

- [Rabbit] Road weed!

- Holy sh*t.

- Tonight, we take the
high road. [chuckles]

[lighter clicks]

[excited, rapid inhaling]

[silence]

- [Gingerweed] ♪ 99 bongles
of weed on the wall, ♪

♪ 99 bongles of weeeeed.

- Cut that sh*t right out.

- ♪ Take one down,
pass it around, ♪

♪ 94 bongles of weeeed!

♪ 96 bongles of
weed on the wall ♪

♪ 96 bongles of weed

♪ Take one down,
pass it around ♪

♪ 95 bongles of weed!

♪ 92 bongles of
weed on the wall, ♪

♪ 92 bongles of weed!

♪ Take one down,
pass it around ♪

♪ 91 bongles of weed.

♪ 91 bongles of
weed on the wall ♪

♪ 91 bongles of
[small giggle] weed! ♪

♪ [Progressively more
excited] Take one down, ♪

♪ pass it around

♪ [Screeching] 90
bongles of weed! ♪

[silence]

- Man, what them dicks
did was f*cked up.

- I know. The nerve.

- I've been so bummed,
man, I ain't even

felt like havin'
a orgy or nuttin'.

Sexy Hell's, like,
not as sexy right now.

- There has to be a way to
go back through the portal

and get our revenge
on those f*ck.

- I dunno man, what's the point?

We tried.

- The point is, I have
unfinished business

with those losers, and
I'm going to finish it.

- Yeah, yeah.

There's no hell like
an evil b*tch scorned.

Except Sexy Hell, which,
if I'm bein' honest,

kinda sucks right now.

No, f*ck this.

You just stand
there and be whack.

Imma go get my sexy back.

[Demon women giggle seductively]

- I'll show you whack.

Whack right across the
back of that head of yours.

- Hey, that sounds kind of sexy.

After all, this is--

- Sexy Hell. I know!

- f*ck yeah! Ooh.

- They haven't heard
the last of Lucy Furr.

- [Ebee] Oh, hell
yeah, m*therf*ckers.

Look at this sh*t.

Oh yeah, I'm a queen
motherfuckin' bong.

That's right.

It's even on the billboard.

Rabbit, wake the f*ck up.

[snorts]

- Hey everybody, wake up!

We're here!

Vegas, baby!

- Whoa.

[women oohing]

- [Batty] [baby
voice] Light-o light!

Oh, look.

Oh look, Weedy?

Look! It's [stammers] that!

- I wanna roll some dice.

- I want to roll some joints.

- Now we talkin'.

- Ancient ones foretell
of great fortune

to be divined from a steady
hand and the rolling of bones.

- What the f*ck she say?

- We can make a sh*t
ton of money here.

[Rabbit laughs]

- Rabbit wanna grab it.

Rabbit wanna grab it all.

- ♪ All the lights

♪ All all right

- Ain't nothin' about that
bimbo that's "all right."

- Hey, I got an idea.

- Aw sh*t, here we go.

- What's Vegas known for?

- Gambling.

- [Rabbit] Nope.

- High-priced weed?

- [Rabbit] Nope.

- Hookers?

- What else is it known for?

- prostit*tes?

- No.

- Escorts?

- That's enough, son.

- He's right though.

Not that I have any experience
as a 17-year-old runaway

who would do anything
to make a buck.

- TMI.

You're not so mysterious
anymore, skank.

- I still don't
know what's a Vegas.

- Shows!

Let's go see a show! [laughs]

Hey driver, take us to
the best show in town.

- [Woman On The Street] Heeey!

- [Ebee] f*ck you.

[silence]

- Here we go, gov.

- Are you sure this is
the best show in town?

- [Rabbit] She would know.

- [Driver] It's the
only show I know of.

- What's a "fuppet"?

- f*cking puppets.

- Oh.

- They're puppets.

- Yeah.

- That f*ck.

- Intwesting.

- I wouldn't mind seeing
some mad puppets f*cking.

- We'd better get inside
before the show starts.

- Yes, my boy, ever punctual.

[Batty Chuckles]

- Welcome to
Versnatchy's, perverts!

[applause and cheers]

Have you been naughty?

[audience excitedly titters]

I hope so! [giggles]

Because I have
something very special

for you dirty devils tonight.

[audience oohs] [Batty
makes excited noises]

Do you want it?

- [Audience] Yes! Yeah!

- Do you want it?

- [Audience] Yes!

- Do you want it?

[audience cheers]

I want it! [squeals]

[audience woos]

Get ready for some
blue suede goo.

All the way from
Memphis, Tennessee,

the hunk of burnin' love
himself. [crop thwacks]

Do you want it?

- [Audience] Yes!

- Do you want it?

[audience cheers]

Do you want it?

- I want it!

- You want it! I want it!

Let's hear it for--throw your
panties on the stage for:

Pelvis!

[audience cheers and applauds]

[squeals excitedly]

[applause]

[audience oohs] [Batty
squeals with delight]

- [Woman 1 In
Audience] He's so big!

- [Woman 2 In
Audience] He's huge!

[audience tittering
with awe and excitement]

[applause]

[silence]

[woman moans with pleasure]

- f*ck me!

- That's crazy!

- What the f*ck?

[audience squeals and groans]

[Batty laughs]

[engine rumbles] [tires squeal]

- That was something.

- [Driver] I know, right?

- As a purveyor of fine theater,

I found it infinitely
engrossing.

- The emphasis on
"perv" and "gross."

- Next time you
have a suggestion,

make sure you shove it
up your f*ck' a*s.

- Where to next?

- [Rabbit] Let's
call it a night.

Driver, take us to the
finest budget sh*thole.

- Here we are.

- [gasps] It's beautiful.

- Damn, that's some
high-end sh*t right there.

- That's a honey of
a booboo. [laughs]

- [Rabbit] There
must be some mistake.

- Oh no, no mistake.

- [Rabbit] Are you sure
this place is, shall I say,

cheap as f*ck?

- Oh yeah, it's the
cheapest in town.

- [Rabbit] This place is?

I don't see how.

- Oh, you will.

- Boop!

- It's haunted.

- Yikes.

- [Rabbit] How haunted?

- Cheap-as-f*ck haunted.

- Oh.

Well, we're here.

What is this place?

Look at this.

I mean, what the...

- Hark, weary travelers.

The light has crept in,
and darkness is vanquished.

There's nothing to fear here.

- Oh, I thank boop for that.

Wait, what did you say?

[man screams]
[Batty screams]

- I take that
back, We're f*cked.

- Have no fear, Rabbit is here.

And Rabbit wanna get laid.

- Gross! Get off me.

- It's worth a try.

Doesn't seem to be anybody here.

- Found the bell,
f*ck' genius.

- Oh, that's worth a try.

[bell ringing repeatedly]

- Boop.

- Easy with the bell-a,
fella. [small chuckle]

- [drawn out speech] Yeah, man.

Ding don't.

- It's you guys.

- Yeah.

Well, it's like, more
like, "It's you ghosts."

- Yeah, man, we totally,
like, died last time.

- We're the ghosts
with the most.

- Most weed.

[both laugh]

- But what happened?

You look, uh, different.

- The big sleep will
do that to you, man.

- Yeah, so will estrogen
pills. [chuckles]

- Shut up.

You, like, totally promised.

- Check out his dude t*tties.

- What the f*ck is this sh*t?

- [stammering] Boys--girl--can't
we all get along

and put our differences aside?

- Did someone say,
"Let's get a bowl?"

[chuckles]

- So what are you
fellas--[stammering]
you doing here?

- Dude, we like, own the place.

- Backup. You own this place?

- We, like, own the place.

[stoned chuckles]

You?

b*tch, do you got
a hearing pro--

I'm so sorry.

I don't know what came over me.

- He's just like
hormonal and sh*t.

He's not usually like--

- [quietly] No, how could you?

- Anyways, as I
was, like, saying.

Hm, what was I saying?

- You own this beautiful place?

- [languid laughter]
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Our families are,
like, stupid rich.

- Like really stupid.

- They disowned us
'cause we're, like...

- Total f*ck-ups.

- Totally.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Anyways, one day our
families got together

and they tried to throw
this intervention for us.

- And what happened?

- I don't know, we didn't go.

We were too high.

[stoned laughter]

But anyways.

- They all died and sh*t, man.

- All of them?

- At the same time?

- Everybody but us, and so
now, we own this haunted sh*t.

- f*ck yeah.

- Yeah, like since that Lucy
chick, you know [small gag]

harshed our mellows eternally.

- We died.

- Boop.

- Well, I died.

You went t*ts up. [laughs]

- b*tch.

- Yeah.

[tongue pop]

- Anyways, so, like,
do you need a room

or some sh*t or what?

- Yes, give us your most
hidey room available.

- Assassin?

- No.

- Castle freak?

- Uh uh.

- Bogus b*tch and Devil
Douchest from Sexy Hell?

- Bingo.

[sympathetic noise
from desk clerks]

- Say no more, you bald bore.

We will hook you up, my dude.

- It's appreciated.

- Just follow this
guy--girl-- [clicks tongue]

Just, he's gonna take
you to your rooms.

- You guys have any baggage?

- Just Weedy here.

- And her.

- Keep your b*tch
hands off my a*s.

I'll find my own way.

- Yeah.

- Come on, dude, it's down here.

My bad, wrong room.

I was just f*cking with you.

- Laughter at others' expense
doth bring laughter in kind.

- Like, what?

- Stop F-ing with
us. We're tired.

- Now here we are, the most
hidey-est room available.

- Dibs.

[door slams shut]

- What about our rooms?

- Oh, you can just choose one.

They're, like, all empty 'cause

this place is f*ck' haunted.

- Boop?

[gleeful laughter]

- Oh, tip?

- My good man.

[coin hits the floor]

- Aw, f*ck, man.

- Works on the dead every time.

[sighs and laughs]

- Oh, this is so
[panting] boring.

I need to find the bar. [laughs]

[door shuts]

- Mm-Hm, now this is what
I call class, m*therf*cker.

- Holy wow, this
is something else.

- Oh Weedy, look!

It's so romantical.

- I'll say, my dear.

But we'd better befoul it.

- Oh, you are so sweet!

You think I look boop-iful?

- If you say so.

- Oh Weedy, I've
had the hots for you

the first time I saw you.

From your little nosey to
your little toesie-woesies

[kissing sounds]

to every [smooch] little
[smooch] beautiful [smooch]

part of you and your
heart that's full of weed.

You are quite the looker.

- Aw, shucks.

I was just made this way.

[purrs and moans]

Well, I have never
been with a man before.

Just say the word, and
you can be my first.

- Oh, shut up and jump my bones!

- Oh yeah! [squeals with joy]

I never thought you'd say yes.

Woo! Oh yeah!

I've never been in a room
with a bouncy house before.

Oh yeah! This is so hot!

Oh, I'm toasty down here.

- God damn, this
some crazy sh*t.

Sick m*therf*ckers
makin' this kinda sh*t.

- Oh, I've seen this one.

It's really good.

- As I was saying.

- What's that?

- Oh, you ain't foolin'
my a*s with that New Agey,

mumbo jumbo bullshit you
be spewin' all the time.

- I'm not spewing.

- See, even you don't
believe that sh*t.

I knew it.

- It's a living.

- Eating dong is a living, too.

b*tch, what you hiding?

You gots to let that hair down.

[sighs]

Don't that feel better?

- I guess.

- And you a pretty little
piece of chicken, too.

Take it from Ebee, you need
to let out that inner warrior.

Stop hiding behind
that fruity-tooty sh*t.

- I'm not hiding anything.

- Oh, I'd make you
queen of the Bong World,

but I'm still a scary
motherfuckin' b*tch,

and I am, you better
believe your a*s,

I'm just biding my time.

- Misty, Queen of
the Bong World.

- I'm scary as f*ck.

Take a hit off me
and see for yourself.

- Oh no, I don't
do that anymore.

Not since I did
three years in Chino

for wiping out that bingo
parlor with my 10-speed.

- You see?

I knew there's a bad
b*tch deep down in there.

C'mon, just take
one little toke.

- I really can't.

- I'm not even at
full strength, girl.

Just a little something
to take that edge off.

- I really could stand to
relax for a little bit.

No. No. I can't.

- Smoke that motherfuckin'
weed, you p*ssy a*s!

- I want everyone to know:
This is peer pressure.

- There you go.

Suck that nectar.

Release the beast inside.

[exhales with pleasure]

Feelin' better?

- No, not really.

- The f*ck!?

- High tolerance.

- Oh damn, you really
is a bad b*tch.

- Well, maybe it is
time for a change.

- [moaning with
pleasure] Oh yeah!

Oh Weedy! Oh Weedy! Yes!

Give me more! Give me more!

Oh yeah.

Oh, I've never
been so hot before.

I wanna just do you.

I wanna do you.

Yes!

[ice cubes rattle]

- Aah. [sighs contentedly]

A little service here
for a handsome customer.

- What do you need, bro?

- I'll have another
one of those, please.

- Can't serve you, dude.

- I get this a lot,
but I assure you

I am over the drinking age.

- Sorry, young buck,
I can't serve you.

- And why is that exactly?

- Dude, I'm a ghost.

- You don't have to
be so blunt about it.

[liquid pours] [bottle
clinks on counter]

- ♪ Thanks for the night
on the town, homeboys ♪

????

You're a goodder, I tell you.

[slap]

- Oh [giggles], it's the
least I can do for you.

- [Drunk Man 1] Damn
fine, I tell you!

Oh, that sardine buffet
was top notch, I tell you.

[man makes happy groan]

- Oh, only the best
for you, sugar ba*ls.

- That is love, I tell you what!

- Show we saw? [appreciate sigh]

I tell you.

- Pardon the intrusion,
but what show did you see?

- The skill, the
wonder, the artistry.

Unsurpassed, I tell you.

- So you saw one of those
weird French freak shows

set to boy band music ?

[group laughs]

- Don't know what you tell, but
we saw f*ck' puppets f*ck.

- Tell.

- I tell you what.
- [singsong] What?

- I dun tell.
- [singsong] What?

- Told. Period.

- So, what brings you to Vegas?

- Tell you what, we needed
to blow off some steam.

My old lady says, she says,
"Joe, I tell you what."

- Mm-Hm.

- Uh huh.

- So! Here we be.

- I told ya.
- Mm-Hm.

- As God as my witness,
I heard it told.

- Well, you seem to be doing
pretty well for yourselves.

- Never better,
and it's all thanks

to this fine slab of lady.

- Well, sometimes when
life gives you sh*t,

you make other sh*t. [giggle]

- Despite my better judgment,

she wanted to give Big
Sloppy a breather, you know.

And I'm all [mumbles
indecisively]
don't tell me what.

- I tell you, damn near fell
off and slid across the floor.

- So, we's workin' on our tans.

- Then, I tell ya,
she dips into the last

of our beer money and skips out.

h*, I don't mind
tellin' ya I was P.O.'d.

- Damn near told
her, what he did.

- Yeah. [chuckles]

Then, I tell you
what, she come back

and dumps an assload of cash on

my pineapple-shaped
swimmin' hole floaty.

- I didn't have no pockets.

- It damned near
drowned him, I tell ya!

- I swim like a
corpse, if I'm tellin'.

- True tell.

- And I tell her, "You tell
me where you got this."

'Cause, you know,
she's supposed to be

givin' her meat
wagon some down time.

- I says!

"I got it from the one-armed
bandit in the lobby."

[man growls in frustration]

- Oh, I tell you, when I catch
that one-armed summa b*tch,

there's gonna be hell to pay!

After I thank him
for his donations.

- He's always one step ahead
of us, that dude, I tell ya!

- I mean, messin' with my woman?

She's always just slippin' out,

comin' back with more
money--a hell of a lot more.

That one-armed polecat sure
spends a hell of a lot of cash,

and it's always in change.

- I guess that one-armed bandit

is better than a one-eyed one.

- Yeah--hey, what?

Well, I tell ya, if
he was a real man,

he'd look me in the
eye before laying pipe.

- Oh I'd tell him to tell.

- I tell ya, I'll
catch him some day.

Ain't that right--Ah!

She done it again

Let's get that chicken
hawk before he slips away.

- Right behind ya, I yell ya.
- Tell.

- Tell!
- Tell!

- Good hunting.

- Was it as good for
you as it was for me?

- Oh, my green ba*ls have turned

a frightening shade of blue.

- Well, wait right there, Weedy,

'cause I got more
in store for you.

- Oh, goody gumdrops.

[Batty purrs, roars seductively]

- But first, I'm gonna
put on some comfy clothes.

- Oh! I'm gonna
get my comfies on.

- Oh, f*ck me.

- Do you wanna buy
a girl a drink?

- [clear throat] Naturally.

- I'm Rhonda. Rhonda VU.

- I feel like we've met before.

- I hear that all the time.

And you are?

- Rabbit.

- Interesting.

Now why do they call you that?

- Well, mainly because
it's my name, and partially

because I'm cute, fuzzy, and
like to drop around in holes.

[Rhonda laughs]

So, what brings
you to these parts?

- I work here.

- Am I gonna get you
in trouble talking?

Are you on break?

- No, no, silly.

I don't work here, I
come here for work.

- Are you like one of
those loser writers

that hangs around coffee
shops all day long?

- Not really.

I actually achieve my goals
and at the end of the day

have something to show for it.

- So what is it you actually do?

[Rabbit breathing heavily]
[light sucking sounds]

- You wanna get out of here?

- You bet!

[Rabbit pants excitedly]

[pleasurable moaning]

Oh yes!

- Oh, I'm going to dab you.

You like that?

- Uh huh. Get me high
off that f*cking d*ck.

[moans loudly] Oh god! Yes!

- [Gingerweed] You coming?

- You know, usually I fake it.

That time I didn't have to.

[erotic moaning]

- Who's your pappy,
you blonde bombshell?

- Oh, you are!

- [singsong] Ready
or not, here I come.

[Escort and Gingerweed moaning]

♪ Here I come for you

[Escort's moaning trails off]

- Holy boop!

How could you play Bounce the
House with this, this boopa.

- [stammers] I'm sorry love.

It isn't what it looks like.

- Then what is it?

- Room service.

- Oh, you two-timing,
no--get out of here

before I pull your hair
through your boop-boop.

How could you do
this to me, Weedy?

I thought we had
something going here.

I mean, don't you
like my boopin' bod?

- Oh, don't fret, my love.

There's enough of this
primo weed to go around.

- Oh, yeah.

Oh Weedy, oh yeah.

- Oh, come and eat your Weedy.

- Oh, you come and
eat my Wheaties.

- Ooh!

Oh, my man.

- Whoa Nelly!

[door closes]

- Damn, you take another shower?

You must got some kind
of disease or something.

And lemme tell you, that
sh*t don't scrub off.

- You were right.

It is time for a change.

- [Ebee] Ooh wee! Damn, girl.

You are one badass b*tch.

- I know.

Feels good.

- And I'm sure all your
personalities think so, too.

- No more Mrs. Nice Chick.

- [laughs] Now
you're talking out of

somethin' but your little a*s.

- Let's blow this dump.

[Rabbit panting with excitement]

- Mm, how do you like this?

- I likey.

- You like that?

- I likey lot.

- And uh...

How about that?

- Rabbit wanna
grab it. [panting]

- Well, you are the boss, and
I have a surprise for you.

- I like surprises.

- You are gonna love this one.

[Rabbit gasps]

- Ah!

- Don't act like
you didn't know.

- Dude.

- What's the big deal?

- Dude!

- Try it! You might like it!

[Rabbit crying out in distress]

- What happened?

- [stammers] Nothing happened.

You don't want to know.

And if you do want to know,
I'm not saying anything,

because what happens in
Rabbit stays in Rabbit.

- You were suckin'
d*ck, weren't you?

- I didn't suck anything.

- Uh huh.

- Can you talk to your
son about what he did?

- What did you do, son?

- Today, I became a man.

- So you banged a call girl
thinking it was room service.

- [chuckles] And GD breedy.

- Good talk.

- I think we need
to get out of here.

- I agree.

What happened to the blonde?

I hate to leave anybody
behind but we have to go.

Now.

- The sacraments.

Do it.

Oh Dark Lord--and not
that useless prick

that runs Sexy
Hell--heed my prayers!

Basically, hear me out here.

I seek revenge on
those that placed me

in this lame-a*s place.

I know I wanted to be here,

but it's really not what
I thought it would be.

Who knew?

I offer you this sacrifice.

It's not much--about
four-foot not much.

Ready? Smoke 'em girls.

♪ Ominis do rae mi ah

Rise and be evilicious!

It's working! It's working!

Thank you, Dark Lord.

Thank you heaps.

[moans with pleasure]

Ew.

- Hiya, sis.
- Hiya, brother.

- You look so--
- Pretty?

- Oh, snap!

We finish

- Each other's sentences.

- Besides, because we're rolled

- From the same dough.

- Ahem.

- Are you
- Our mother?

- Oh, f*ck no. You're gross.

- [Ginger siblings]
Then f*ck off and die.

- All right, fine.

I'm your mother, and I've
got a little something

I want you to do for me.

- Always k*lling.
- Please tell us it's k*lling.

- Oh, it's k*lling.

[Ginger man laughs
conspiratorially]

- Just tell us who; we
take care of the rest.

[Lucy chuckles with pleasure]

- What the f*ck is
going down here?!

And what the f*ck are those?

They're not sexy!

- Remember what we
were talking about?

- Heh heh. Oh, goody!

- We're gonna lay with you.

Eat it.

- Fuuuuuuck!

[high pitched]
Not the good kind!

[bong rip]

- Like, checking out?

- Checking the f*ck out.

- Did you, like, make your
beds and clean the sink?

- That's not our job.

- Yeah, but we can't do it.

We're dead.

- Take it up with management.

- Dude, don't talk to
me right now, okay?

- Don't talk to me.

- Like, fine.

- Look, Ebee's Magical
Weed Dispensary.

That's gotta be Phoebe's place.

- I never met a
Phoebe in my life.

- She's the one
you forced to run

the dispensary in Venice Beach.

- I have no f*cking clue.

All these b*tches
look the same to me.

And these stories are confusing
as f*ck to keep straight.

- We gotta check it out.

- We need to hurry.

- We need to smoke
our minds right.

- [sighs] I could really use
some excitement in my life.

I take it back.

- Surprised?

- That's hardly the
word I would use.

Can you guys not mess
up the store this time?

It turned my last place
into a dumpster fire.

I was kinda just hoping
to never see you again.

- Well it's nice to
see you again, too.

- See you're runnin'
with a new clown crew.

Did Circus Circus get
out early today or?

- I don't know the
hours of operation.

Why?

- It's no reason.

- I could call and
find out if you want.

- No, it's not necessary.

- We're being followed.

- By whom?

- Lucy.

- Let's just say [clear
throat] someone close.

- Lucy Furr?

God, what did you guys
do to piss her off?

- We threw her in Sexy Hell
and now she wants revenge.

- That's so her.
She's such a b*tch.

- You got anything to help us?

- Funny you should ask:
I've been working on

this magical, vaporless,
odorless, pocket-dab hit.

I call it Ebee's Oil.

It's literally C02 oil
aerosolized into your lungs.

There's no exhale,
there's no odor.

It's the pocket dab
you can do anywhere.

- b*tch, that's my brand.

- I got you covered: royalties.

I have got something big.

I'm franchising Ebee's Magical
Weed Dispensary as we speak.

[Phoebe giggles]

So stoners with their
own dispensaries

- [worrisome] Oh.

- Oh, poor muffins!

[happy, exhausted pant]

- I'm back, b*tches.

- How the hell did you
get out of Sexy Hell?

- The old-fashioned way: m*rder.

- Tried and true, I guess.

- Oh, look sis:
munchies and money.

- Oh, hi sis.

- Hi.

- What've you been up to?

- You know, just this. You?

- You know, evil b*tch stuff.

- I think now would be
a good time to bail.

- That's a good call.

- Hurry up.

- [baby voice] Pwomise
me, pwomise me, Weedy,

that you will never,
ever, ever do that again.

Do you promise?

- If you say so, sweetie.

- Oh, my Weedy.

- I hate to break-up
this touching moment,

but we have to bail NOW!

[rushed footsteps]

- I think we should split up.

- That's so stupid.

Over there!

- Dumbass crackers.

- Come on.

[Batty titters]

- In here!

- Perfect, we can hide in here.

- [excitedly] This
place looks awesome!

- [clear throat] Three,
please, and we're in a hurry.

[Batty rings service
bell excitedly]

- Through that door.
I'll buzz you right in.

- [Rabbit] [strained] Come on.

- [Batty] Look, it's cow doing.

[Batty inhales]

Weedy, look at that.

Boop? Hello boopy?

Boop?

- Out of my way, idiots!

- [Woman] Hey, watch it.
- [Man] What the hell?

[Batty giggles]

[heels stomping]

- Wow.

Oh wow, that is totally boop.

- Oh, that could never happen.

[Batty giggles]

- Oh, Weedy.

[Rabbit anxiously panting]

- sh*t! She's coming.

- What do we do? What do we do?

- I got an idea.

And you're so ugly,
it just might work.

- Come out, come out, where
ever the f*ck you are.

[exasperated sigh]

[audible breathing]

Ugh, who would pay to look
at these ugly f*ck?

I know Rabbit's close.

[sniffs] I can smell his B.O.

[frightened panting]

[laughs maniacally]

Oh, you're gonna die now!

[laughs maniacally]

No! Ooh!

I'm gonna be back you b*tches!

- Wow, that was a big nothing.

- It always is. [laughs]

- Oh!

- Ooh, hey. What's up?

See, it' not scawy here.

Wow.

This is such a big room!

- But we left my
friends and my father

inside to be slaughtered!

- Boop.

- Never weed a man behind!

- Oh, boopy boopy boopy!

- Let's cut him down to size!

- Yeah, fun size!