01x03 - Prepare for the Interview

[bunniefuu]

Narrator: Everyone has a side they don't show anyone else.

Narrator: To their friends, their significant others, or even their families.

Narrator: They hide what they're truly feeling through fake smiles or bravado,

Narrator: and keep their true identities secret.

Narrator: That is how the world keeps up the appearance of its temporary peace.

Narrator: In an era in which the nations of the world were waging a fierce w*r

Narrator: of information just out of sight,

Narrator: two countries were at odds with each other.

Narrator: Ostania, in the east, was secretly plotting to start a w*r.

Narrator: Westalis, in the west, wanted to put a stop to those plans.

Narrator: In order to keep an eye on the actions of a leading figure in Ostania's government,

Narrator: Westalis set Operation Strix in motion.

Narrator: The one tasked with this operation is the skilled agent, Twilight.

Narrator: The mission given to the master of disguise with a hundred faces was...

Narrator: to start a family.

Park Avenue, West DistrictCapital City of Berlint, Ostania

Loid: Is this everything you own?

Yor: Yes.

Loid: It's not very much.

Yor: Um, Loid... about the sleeping arrangements...

Loid: We'll be sleeping in separate rooms, of course.

Loid: We'll share one for appearances anytime we have guests over.

Yor: R-Right.

Anya: Welcome to Anya's house!

Yor: Thank you for the lovely welcome, Miss Anya.

Narrator: This house is home to a rather unusual family.

Narrator: The father, Loid Forger, is a psychiatrist.

Narrator: His true identity: a spy.

Code Name<Twilight>

Narrator: Code name: Twilight.

Narrator: The mother, Yor Forger, is a civil servant who works at city hall.

Narrator: Her true identity: an assassin.

Code Name<Thorn Princess>

Narrator: Code name: Thorn Princess.

Narrator: The daughter, Anya Forger.

Narrator: Her true identity: a telepath.

Anya: I'm so happy to have a mama now!

Yor: Mama...

Anya: I'm gonna help.

Loid: Oh, right. By the way...

Loid: I had a friend of mine who's a judge make it so we got married a year ago.

Loid: By that, I mean he forged the certificate.

Loid: We can figure out why we lived separately and what to tell your brother later.

Yor: All right.

Loid: It would make the school suspicious if we got married just before the interview.

Yor: I got permission from the Shopkeeper, so I feel much better.

Anya: So exciting...

Narrator: Father, mother, daughter...

Narrator: These three created this pretend family to further their own ends,

Narrator: and are living under the same roof as they hide their true identities from each other.

PREPARE FOR THE INTERVIEW

Anya: I'm going to show Mama around!

Loid: Once we get settled in, we'll practice the interview.

Anya: This is the kitchen!

Anya: Papa is good at cooking!

Yor: Oh, I see.

Anya: This is the toilet. And that's the bathtub!

Yor: Everything's so clean.

Anya: I can wash my face all by myself!

Yor: You're such a big girl, Miss Anya.

Anya: This is Anya's room!

Anya: Welcome!

Yor: Thank you for inviting me in.

Yor: My, what an adorable room.

Anya: I'll introduce you to Mr. Chimera.

Anya: I am Chimera. It is a pweasure to meet your acquiantenance.

Yor: It's very nice to meet you, Mr. Chimera.

Yor: I am Miss Anya's mama.

Anya: This is Papa's room!

Yor: So this is Loid's room...

Anya: This is your room, Mama.

Anya: Come in, Mama.

Yor: Why, thank you.

Yor: So this is my...

Yor: What a lovely room.

Loid: I'm glad you like it.

Loid: This should be everything.

Loid: Is the furniture arranged to your liking? I also cleaned a bit.

Yor: Yes, everything is wonderful.

Anya: I helped clean, too!

Yor: Really? Thank you so much.

Anya: Am I a good girl?

Loid: All you did was tip over a bucket of water.

Anya: Shock!

Yor: This is such a lovely room. I don't know what to do with myself.

Loid: What do you mean?

Loid: Please make yourself at home.

Loid: Actually, this is your home now, so make yourself comfortable.

Yor: Thank you.

Loid: I'll come get your boxes once they're empty.

Yor: Loid, I've got everything put away.

Loid: You're quite efficient.

Loid: Ah, this must be your younger brother.

Yor: Oh, yes.

Loid: You said he's also a civil servant?

Yor: Yes. He seems quite busy lately, so I've only spoken to him on the phone.

Loid: It seems you two are quite similar.

Loid: I should properly introduce myself once Anya's entrance exam is over.

Yor: Um, Loid. About that...

Yor: I don't have anything suitable to wear to this interview...

Loid: Then let's go to the tailor today.

Yor: Thank you very much.

Anya: Helping, helping...

Yor: M-Miss Anya, I'll take care of that!

Yor: I have my work weapons and poison powerful enough to k*ll an elephant in there.

Yor: Can I get you something, Loid?

Loid: Some coffee, please. Black.

Anya: I want hot cocoa!

Loid: With sugar and milk.

Anya: That's the stuff!

Yor: They look amazing. Are those cookies homemade?

Loid: It's actually my first time making cookies.

Loid: I just followed a recipe from a cookbook, so they should be decent.

Loid: I hope you like them.

Yor: Thank you.

Yor: They're wonderful! You really are an amazing cook!

Loid: It's not that impressive, really.

Anya: I helped with the cookies, too!

Yor: Oh, I see.

Loid: After you got covered in flour and got in my way,

Loid: you just snacked on some peanuts.

Loid: Once we're settled in, let's begin.

Loid: Eden College is one of the most prestigious schools in the country.

Loid: During the interview, not only will the child be evaluated,

Loid: but so will the parents.

Loid: They will be evaluated on their social standing as well as how cultured they are.

Loid: Understood?

Loid: Now, let's start the questions.

Loid: First, please state your name and address.

Anya: Anya Fo...Fo...Horger. Address?

Loid: The place we're at right now.

Anya: This is Anya's house!

Loid: That's not what I meant.

Loid: Er, so, Miss Anya... How do you spend your days off?

Anya: Papa orders me to stay home,

Anya: so I have to watch TV all alone.

Loid: Now, wait a second.

Loid: That makes a terrible impression. Madam?

Yor: Yes?

Loid: Why did you choose Eden College, and how do you plan to pass this exam?

Yor: How do people usually pass?

Yor: Um, pass, passing...

Yor: Perhaps because of cardiac arrest, or excessive bleeding?

Yor: Or compound fractures throughout the body?

Yor: Oh! Maybe their skull was caved in.

Loid: k*ll me now. Next question.

Loid: Could you describe your parenting methods?

Yor: Huh? U-Um... Strike first to be victorious?

Loid: I'm amazed her brother turned out to be a decent human being.

Loid: I've been a spy for over a decade.

Loid: I've completed countless missions,yet only now do I find myself losing heart.

Loid: This is pointless. There's no way we'll survive the interview at this rate.

Loid: Let's give up on getting her into that school.

Yor: Loid! Please remember your late wife's wishes!

Loid: Clearly, we weren't ready for this mock interview yet.

Loid: All right, let's go out for a bit.

Loid: Let's broaden our horizons, become versed in what is normal for an upper-class family,

Loid: and make sure that we're all on the same page.

Anya: We're on an ooting, an ooting, la, la, la, lah!

Loid: You mean "outing."

Anya: Wanna hold hands, Mama?

Yor: I-If you don't mind.

Loid: Thank goodness Anya's taken a liking to her.

Loid: The plan is set.

Loid: After today, we'll seem like a normal... no.

Loid: We'll be seen as an upper-crust family.

Yor: Oh... This reminds me of when my little brother was still small and adorable.

Yor: And that one time I hugged him too hard and ended up breaking two of his ribs.

Yor: I must be careful.

Loid: Wait... what? Maybe not...

Yor: B-By the way, where are we headed?

Loid: I've acquired a variety of tickets through my connections at work.

Loid: Tradition and status are everything at Eden College.

Loid: We'll have to experience and get accustomed to the best that life has to offer,

Loid: and make sure we don't slip up if we let our guard down.

Loid: All right, next.

Loid: Anya, no yelling while we're here.

Anya: 'Kay.

Loid: We've experienced first-class music,

Loid: so now for some first-class art... And you know the rest.

Anya: Papa! I can see her boobies!

Anya: Head's been choppy-chopped! Body's been choppy-chopped!

Loid: What did I just say about yelling?

Loid: Yor?

Loid: Y-Yor...?

Anya: I wanna do that!

Loid: Drawing? Sure.

Loid: Yor, why don't we sit down for a bit?

Yor: All right.

Anya: Anya's house is a big castle.

Anya: The boss of the secret organization is Director Chimera.

Anya: Papa is a spy! Pew, pew!

Anya: Mama is an assassin! Stabby, stabby, sploosh!

Loid: We should probably get going.

Yor: Yes.

Anya: All done!

Loid: Anya, we're going to our next stop.

Anya: If Papa and Mama see this,they'll find out about my powers!

Loid: Wow, that's quite a masterpiece.

Loid: There seems to be a pig in a forest.

Anya: That's Mr. Chimera, and he lives in a castle!

Loid: I see. I definitely see Bondman there, though.

Loid: I'm right, aren't I?

Anya: Yep...

Loid: It's that spy cartoon you were watching last week.

Loid: So this witch-looking one must be the princess.

Loid: That part seems rather graphic.

Loid: Oh, but that cat is cute.

Anya: That's a doggy!

Loid: I see. Then I apologize.

Loid: We're going to the tailor next.

Yor: Sorry to have you do this on your day off.

Loid: It's quite all right. This is something we need to do.

Anya: My going-out clothes are so cute!

Anya: They fit perfectly!

Anya: This shop is great! I love it!

Proprietress: Why, thank you.

Anya: This is my first ooting in my going-out clothes.

Proprietress: Then it must be a day of celebration.

Anya: A day to celebrate this ooting!

Loid: In that case, we can stop by a photography studio next.

Female Employee: Yor, dear. Right this way.

Yor: Coming.

Proprietress: If you're looking for a semi-formal dress, I think this color would do nicely.

Proprietress: What do you think?

Yor: I'd honestly prefer a black or red dress.

Proprietress: Really? I think this would look nice on you, Yor.

Proprietress: Then how about this?

Loid: Judging from her lack of luggage, I thought she had no interest in clothes.

Loid: I see you're particular about matching colors.

Yor: No... I wouldn't say that.

Yor: This color's lovely, but I'm worried that blood splatters would be too noticeable.

Female employee: Looks like Yor finally found someone nice.

Proprietress: Hopefully they last. Having a child already is an instant no for me, though.

Loid: Looks like the extra outfits will be ready by the interview, too.

Yor: I'm so sorry to have you get so many.

Loid: Well, you look nice in colors besides red and black.

Loid: We'll be going out more often, too.

Anya: Ootings! Ootings!

Loid: You're a regular at that shop, aren't you?

Loid: I'm sure we'll continue to shop there, so next time, we should tell them we're married.

Yor: Oh, right.

Politician: We, the Nationalist Party, believe that there is a road to peace with the West.

Loid: Patriotism is also important within Eden.

Audience A: You moron!

Audience B: k*ll all the b*stards in the West!

Politician: Continuing to treat Westalis as the enemy will do us no good.

Loid: I'll need to make sure she's knowledgeable of politics and history, as well.

Audience C: Piss off, traitor!

Audience F: Gimme money, gimme money, gimme money...

Audience D: Those b*stards k*lled my family!

Audience E: Get lost with the pleasantries!

Audience G: First I lost my job, then my home!

Loid: What's the matter?

Anya: I don't like places like this...

Audience H: k*ll all the shitheads in the West!

Loid: Sorry. Maybe this was a little scary for you.

Yor: Let's go rest somewhere.

Audience I: The East did nothing wrong!

Audience mob: Go back to your Western masters!

Audience mob: Damn it!

Audience mob: You pig!

Audience mob: You stupid baldy!

Audience mob: Your feet smell, too!

Anya: Papa, I'm hungry.

Loid: Huh?

Loid: Are you all right or not?

Loid: No, Anya. Don't just pick the nuts off the and no eating with your hands.

Loid: And Yor, uh... Hmm...

Loid: I've been a spy for over a decade.

Loid: I've completed countless missions,yet once again I find myself losing heart.

Anya: S'all good, Papa.

Loid: What is?

Loid: Yeah, I definitely picked the wrong child.

Loid: No, this is all because I was expected to rely on others.

Loid: I shouldn't have put the key to success in the hands of others, let alone civilians.

Loid: Predicting every possible situation, preparing for it,

Loid: and acting from a carefully laid-out plan.

Loid: Those are the ironclad rules of being a spy.

Loid: Which means that I need to list every possible question the interviewer can ask,

Loid: then have these two memorize the perfect answers to go with them.

Loid: If all else fails, make sure I can back them up—

Yor: Um...

Yor: Why don't we go get some fresh air?

Anya: The people look like bits of trash from up here.

Loid: Where did you get that from?

Anya: My cartoons.

Loid: Ah...

Loid: I had no idea there was a park like this on the outskirts of town.

Yor: I don't come here that often either,

Yor: but I wander over here when I'm exhausted from work.

Yor: Thinking about how the work I do helps everyone in this city out

Yor: encourages me to work harder.

Yor: Oh, this place must be awfully boring! I'm terribly sorry!

Anya: I like this place better than crowded places!

Yor: Oh, that's wonderful!

Old woman: Thief! Someone help!

Loid: That old lady should've been more careful.

Yor: You won't get away with this!

Yor: Hold it right there!

Loid: Oh, damn it.

Yor: I lost track of him.

Yor: Are you all right, ma'am? Are you hurt?

Old woman: I'm fine. Just a few scratches.

Yor: I promise I'll catch him for you! And I'll take you to the hospital later!

Old woman: Why, thank you.

Yor: I left Loid and Anya behind.

Loid: He blended in with the crowd.

Loid: I'm very sorry, Yor, but you probably won't be able to find him now.

Mob A: Man, I'm starving.

Mob B: So expensive...

Mob C: Aw, this is so cute.

Mob D: Crap, I'm gonna piss my pants.

Mob E: My feet hurt.

Mob G: That shopworker is so cool.

Mob F: I wonder if there's a million dalc lying around somewhere.

Mob M: Oh, I forgot to pay my rent.

Mob H: Man, he's late.

Mob I: Honestly, this child...

Mob J: What am I going to do? I failed my test again.

Mob K: That b*stard. I'm gonna m*rder him.

Mob L: Maybe I'll say hi...

Loid: Hey, this again?

Thief: Man, that old crone was loaded.

Anya: Papa!

Loid: Whoa, what?

Anya: I wanna eat cake!

Loid: What?!

Loid: We just left the restaurant...

Loid: He's...

Loid: He changed his clothes, but it's not so easy to change the way you walk.

Loid: Don't think you'll get away from me.

Yor: Loid!

Anya: Mama's here.

Loid: Yor, look after Anya for me.

Thief: I'll be able to have plenty of fun for a while with this much.

Thief: First, I'm gonna treat myself to the finest meal and—

Loid: A filthy swine like you deserves nothing more than the foulest meal.

Mob N: What's going on?

Mob O: A guy just dropped from the sky.

Loid: A spy must not bring attention to himself.

Mob P: Did he fall?

Loid: Pardon me. This fellow is a purse snatcher, so please call the police and hand him over.

Mob P: A purse snatcher?

Old woman: Thank you for escorting me all the way here.

Old woman: I had money to get my grandchild a gift in my purse.

Old woman: Thank you so much. You were a big help.

Yor: Oh, actually...

Yor: The one who got it back was my, um, husband.

Loid: No, if you weren't there, Yor, I wouldn't have even gone after him.

Old woman: Thank you so much. What a fine gentleman you are.

Loid: Er, again...

flashback Chief: Hero who casts no shadow,

flashback Chief: the great deeds you and your fellow agents do shall never see the light of day.

Old woman: Thank you.

Loid: I guess... receiving thanks every once in a while wouldn't hurt.

Anya: Papa is a softie.

Loid: Thank you, Yor.

Loid: Today was a nice change of pace.

Loid: Now I'll be able to work hard again.

Anya: Papa and Mama are flirting.

Loid and Yor: We are not!

Anya: Does Anya get a thank you, too?

Loid: Well... I guess we did find the thief because you were hungry again.

Loid: Good girl.

Old woman: My, what a lovely family you are.

Old woman: Here's some candy for you, dear.

Anya: Candy!

Loid: Make sure you say, "Thank you."

Anya: The ooting is over!

Loid: What a long day.

Anya: Mama!

Anya: I want some hot cocoa, please!

Yor: As you wish.

Loid: Hey, more importantly, we need to retry this mock interview.

Loid: So, Miss Anya, how do you spend your days off?

Anya: We go to the opera, the museum, and eat at restaurants.

Loid: Yes! Exactly!

Loid: If you're asked this question, make sure you talk about today.

Loid: Okay, next question.

Loid: You've seen your friend do something naughty.

Loid: What will you do?

Anya: I'd jump on top of them, beat them up, and make them eat the foulest meal!

Loid: Hmm... Pretend you never saw that, okay?

Loid: Yup, this is hopeless. I'm done.

Anya: Papa, you were so cool!

Yor: Yes, he was.

Anya: Ka-bam!

Anya: It's the foulest meal for you!

Anya: Hot cocoa is the best.

flashback Old woman: My, what a lovely family you are.

Loid: I guess if she saw us that way...

Loid: About one percent of my preparations are complete.

THE PRESTIGIOUS SCHOOL'S INTERVIEW