04x11 - Jilted

[bunniefuu]

♪ Now, the world don't move ♪

♪ To the b*at of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for you ♪

♪ May not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born ♪

♪ He's a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two ♪

♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ To move the world ♪

♪ Everybody's got ♪

♪ A special kind of story ♪

♪ Everybody finds
a way to shine ♪

♪ It don't matter that you got ♪

♪ Not a lot... So what? ♪

♪ They'll have theirs ♪

♪ And you'll have yours ♪

♪ And I'll have mine ♪

♪ And together we'll be fine ♪

♪ 'Cause it takes
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ To move the
world, yes, it does ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent
strokes to move the world ♪

Willis, we're supposed
to be studying.

Aw, come on, charlene.

We've been at it for an hour.

I know. And it's time
we started studying.

Dad, what are you
doing in our bathroom?

Same as I do in my bathroom.

Except, yours flushes.

Mine's on the blink.

How'd you get in there

Without us seeing
you, mr. Drummond?

Oh, I came through kimberly's
room. I'm sorry to interrupt you,

But I didn't want to
bother kimberly again.

But you interrupted
us, and we're studying.

Is that what they call it now?

Don't interrupt them!

I've gotta go to the bathroom!

Looks like it
runs in the family.

Arnold, use the
bathroom downstairs.

You want to be
responsible if I don't make it?

Ok, go ahead. But hurry up.

Oh, can I go roller skating
with you and charlene tonight?

No.

Let me rephrase the question.

Arnold, what makes you think

We're going roller
skating tonight?

I guess it was
something willis said.

Like what? Like
charlene and I are

Going roller skating tonight.

Willis, you didn't even ask me!

And it's already 5:00!

Uh-oh, mouth. You did it again.

Charlene, why do
I have to ask you?

We always go out
on friday night.

Well I just could be
busy one friday night.

Come on, charlene.
You're never busy.

Oh, no?

Well it just so happens

That I plan to stay home
and wash my hair tonight.

And I plan to get
out of here fast.

Oh, come on, charlene.

You're just being
super sensitive.

Why do I have to ask you?

'Cause a girl likes to be asked.

You take me for granted, willis.

You expect me to be available

Anytime you want to see me.

Well, of course. You're my girl.

Well, I don't like being
taken for granted.

When we do something,
I want to be asked.

Ok, ok, you got it.

Will you go roller skating
with me tonight, honey mouth?

Please, sweet stuff?

Well, I suppose I could
wash my hair tomorrow night.

Ah, that's better.

[Telephone rings]

Hello?

Hey, vernon, what's
happening, my man?

Would I like to go to
the basketball game?

Is amos famous?

All right, great. I'll
meet you there. Bye.

Isn't that terrific?

Vernon's got an extra ticket

For the basketball
game. Oh, for when?

Tonight.

Oh, you won't mind anyway,

'Cause you want
to wash your hair.

I won't mind?

I don't believe this.
You're doing it again!

Doing what?

Taking me for granted!

Willis, I've had it
with you. That's it.

Hey, charlene, wait a second.

Why get so steamed?

We'll definitely go roller
skating next friday night.

Well, you can go with vernon.

And try kissing him good night.

Women!

Hey, arnold.

How do you like that?

Charlene walked out on me.

Stop worrying,
willis. You still got me.

Who's worrying?

She'll be begging
me to forgive her.

I'm the best thing that
ever happened to her.

Willis, I don't think
you'll ever get married.

Why not?

'Cause you'll never find a woman

That loves you
as much as you do.

Dad, what a fantastic
coincidence running into you.

I know, I'm the last person you'd
expect to run into in my own home.

No, when I'm just looking for
someone to going roller skating with.

How about it, dad?

Thanks, I can save time by falling
down and breaking my leg right here.

[Laughs]

Dad, you're the funniest
millionaire I know.

Nice try, arnold,
but I got work to do.

Do you see the size of this government
report on points and standards?

I gotta read eight
pounds of this tonight.

Kimberly!

How would you like to
go roller skating tonight?

With whom? With
me'm! That's whom.

Arnold, when I go roller skating

And that romantic
music begins to play,

I just have to be with someone

I can hold hands with.

What are these, flippers?

Arnold, brothers don't count.

Ok, forget roller skating.

Would you consider a movie?

No.

Did I mention that I'm paying?

You've got enough money?

No, that's why I
didn't mention it.

But I'll treat you if
you'd loan me the money.

Arnold, you're priceless.

At the movies,
I'm half-priceless.

[Eating popcorn loudly]

[Softly] arnold. Arnold.

You talked me into
coming to this movie.

At least you can be quiet!

[Softly] I didn't say a thing!

Arnold, will you stop
chomping on that popcorn?

What do you want
me to do? Inhale it?

You're really beginning
to get on my... Charlene!

I'm getting on your charlene?

Look.

That's charlene!

And she's with a guy!

And she said she was
going to stay home tonight

And wash her hair.

Well, now, arnold.
There's no proof

That she's actually
with that guy.

Maybe he's just a stranger

Who walked in at the same time.

They're sitting together.

Strangers do that.

Do strangers put their
arm around each other?

Well, arnold, uh...
Maybe he just doesn't

Know what to do with his arm.

Well, he sure knows
what to do with his mouth!

Look! He's chewing her ear off!

Hi, dad. Hi, dad.

Hi, kids.

Still reading that
government book? Yep.

This is the kind of book
that once you pick it up,

You can't wait to put
it back down again.

What movie did you see?

Excalibur.

It was terrible.

Isn't that the one
about king arthur?

I heard that was very good.

It was, up until the point

Where he started
nibbling her ear.

King arthur did
that to guinevere?

No, dad. Arnold's
talking about charlene.

King arthur was
nibbling charlene's ear?

No, the guy sitting
next to her was.

Dad, we saw
charlene at the movies

With another guy.
No! Are you sure?

Positive.

Oh, poor old willis.

This will be a terrible
shock to his ego.

He'll never look at
himself in the mirror again.

Ah, he wouldn't go that far.

We gotta tell him, don't we dad?

Well...

I don't think we should.

It's a dilemma all right.

What do you think, dad?

Well if charlene's really
seeing somebody else,

I guess willis has a
right to know about it.

Right, we'll tell him.

On the one hand, maybe she's
planning to tell him herself,

It certainly would be
better if it came from her.

Yeah, maybe we
shouldn't tell him.

On the other hand...

If she doesn't tell him and
hears from someone else,

He'll really be embarrassed.

So what's the answer?

I don't know, I just
ran out of hands.

How we handle this with
willis is a very delicate matter.

Hi.

Oh, hi. Uh, willis.

Uh, listen, i, uh... I'm
going to make a sandwich.

I think I'll make
a sandwich, too.

Good, you can make one for me.

Same for me, too.

Hey, arnold.

[Whispering] remember,
don't mention charlene.

Right.

Hey arnold, the
basketball game was great.

How was the movie?

Uh, you wouldn't have
liked the movie, willis.

Why not?

There was a lot of
whispering and nibbling.

Nibbling? Like on popcorn?

Yeah. Popcorn, candy, ears.

Ears?

Arnold, you sure
are getting weird.

Hey, it's almost
time for charlene

To make her nightly phone call.

You sure she's
gonna call tonight?

Of course! Why wouldn't she?

Well, she did walk out on you.

Arnold, arnold.

That little fuss
didn't mean a thing.

You know what
charlene's doing right now?

I got a pretty good idea.

She's home drying her hair

And thinking of the
best way to apologize

To sweet willis. Observe.

In 5 seconds, it'll be 10:00,

And she always
calls right on the dot.

4, 3, 2, 1, Ring!

I must be fast.

Not as fast as charlene.

What was that supposed
to mean, arnold?

Are you holding
something back from me?

Well, yeah.

And I can't tell you what.

Why not?

Because I can't stand
to see my own brother

Destroyed, wiped
out, and dumped on.

See you later.

Wait, arnold.

You better start talking,

Or you're going to be
the only kid in fifth grade

Who wears false teeth.

Well, seeing you
asked me so nice,

We saw charlene at the movies

With another guy.

Would you mind repeating that?

Uh, we saw charlene at
the movies with another guy?

Arnold! You swore
not to say anything!

I'm not a squealer!

He dragged it out of me.

I don't want to go through life

Gumming my food.

Is this true, kimberly?

Yeah, I'm afraid it is.

I'm sorry, willis.

Well, how do you like that?

She goes out with somebody else

When she's supposed
to be at home

Thinking of a way
to apologize to me!

Willis, did something happen
between you and charlene today

To make her do
something like this?

No, nothing much.

We just had a couple of words.

And the words were "get lost."

Now why would she say
a thing like that, willis?

Oh, she thinks I take
her for granted.

Is there any truth in that?

You know, you can't
base a relationship

On just taking. You
have to give, too.

I give a lot.

Oh, sure. You give her orders,

And you give her
a very hard time.

You know, I hate
to say it, willis,

But I do think you
take her for granted.

Willis, if I were you,

I'd just take this
phone right now

And I'd apologize to charlene.

She goes out with somebody else

And I'm supposed to apologize?

Willis, when a man
goes with a woman,

Sooner or later
he's going to have

To apologize for something.

Be smart. Do it
while you're young.

Well, she's the one
who better apologize.

I'm going to give
her a little rope

And let her hang herself.

[Husky voice] hello, charlene.

This is your
sweet little willis.

Did you miss me tonight?

Yeah, like a dog misses fleas.

So, did you stay home tonight

And wash your hair?

You did, huh?

And did you wash
all the popcorn out?

You know darn well
what I'm talking about.

My brother and sister saw
you at the movies with some guy.

Are you going to deny it?

You're not?

You mean, you don't
love me enough

To lie to me?

Well, good-bye
and good riddance.

Good-bye and good riddance?

Man, I hope I can be that cool

When a girl dumps me!

She didn't dump
me, I dumped her.

That's what I meant.

Gee, I'm really sorry
about this, willis.

Hey, I'm not. It's a relief.

Ah, who needs her?

I could play the field.

I got it made.

Sure, willis. You
know you'll get over it.

Yeah. [Begins to cry]

How am I going to
live without her?

[Knock on door]

May I come in?

Hey, come on, willis.

You gotta snap out of it.

It's been 2 days now.

Hey, I'm sorry about charlene,

But breaking up with your girl

Is not the end of
the world, you know.

It's the end of my world.

Charlene's the greatest,
most wonderful girl

A guy could ever have.

Call her up and tell her that.

I wouldn't go near

That double-crossing two-timer!

You know when I
was just your age,

I was head over heels
in love with a girl, too.

Her name was monica.

Had a great deal in
common with monica.

She liked the same books,
she liked the same music,

She liked the same food.

Well, then why'd you break up?

She didn't like me.

But I got over it
eventually, and so will you.

Well, what am I going to do
between now and eventually?

Well, there's no easy answer.

I can only tell you what I did.

What did you do?

I gained 20 pounds.

Gotcha! [Laughing]

[Game beeping]

Hi, kids.

Hey, dad. Hey, dad.

Where's willis?

Is he doing any better today?

No, dad. He's still
the same zombie

You had breakfast with.

See what I mean?

You feeling better, son?

Not really, dad.

Willis, you know
what you ought to do?

Yeah, shave my head

And become a monk.

Get back in circulation!

Find yourself another girl.

Kimberly: hey, you know, willis,

That's a really good idea.

Come on, where's that
old fighting spirit?

Get yourself up off the mat

And come out swinging!

Maybe this time you
won't get creamed!

Hey, willis, I know the
perfect girl for you.

Do you remember the girl

That works at hamburger heaven

That you introduced us to?

Which one was that?

The one with the
body that won't quit.

How old are you, again?

Obviously older than we thought.

Oh, yeah, that's vita spears.

Yeah, I know her.

And she always
gives me a big smile.

Did she also give you
her phone number?

Yeah, but I was going
with charlene at the time.

Well, you're not going
with charlene now.

Why don't give vita a call?

Just dial "bad-vi."

Listen, why not make
a party out of it?

Invite some of your friends.

Hey, that's a super idea, dad.

Sure. Do it with style.

Send out invitations.
It's on the house.

Hey, thanks, big spender!

And I can be the
d.j. At the party!

Wolfman jackson.

[Howls]

Ok, yeah.

I'm going to give vita a call.

That's more like it.

Way to go, son.

Hey, baby. This is
sweet willis jackson.

Ready to spread
some sugar your way.

Oh, I'm sorry, mrs. Spears.

Can I speak to your
daughter, please?

Her mother.

Good thing it wasn't her father.

Hey, vita.

Listen, I'm having a party

And I want the
prettiest girl I know

To be my date.

Oh, no, no, I'm not going
with charlene anymore.

So how about it?

You will?

Terrific. It's this
saturday night

And you will be
getting your invitation.

Au revoir chère!

That's french
for, "later, mama."

Ok.

Man, that vita's got vibes

That come right
through the phone

And ring your bell.

See, willis, you're beginning

To forget charlene already.

Charlene who?

[Telephone rings]

Hello?

Oh. Hi, vita. How you doing?

Well, see, vita,

The reason you didn't
get your invitation

Is 'cause the party
is called off tonight.

The reason willis didn't
call you personally

Is because he's got
this terrible flu,

And he's in the hospital.

One doctor thought it
was double pneumonia.

Another thought it
was triple pneumonia.

Oh, oh, no, no,
you can't call him.

'Cause he's in a...
Insensitive care.

Yeah, I'll tell him.

Bye.

[Sighs]

[Disco music playing]

[Music stops]

Uh, how much did you, uh...

All of it, huh?

Party's off?

Willis is in the hospital?

Uh, would you care
to explain that?

Not particularly.

Explain it, arnold.

And if you b*at about the bush,

I'll b*at about your tush.

I guess I better spill my guts.

See, vita's not coming because
I didn't mail her invitation.

Why not? You volunteered
to mail all the invitations.

I know, but... I
kinda mailed vita's

To somebody else.

Who?

Charlene.

Charlene!

[Telephone rings]

Hello?

Oh, hello, vernon.

Just a minute, I'll ask arnold.

Vernon wants to know
if willis is still in a coma.

Hi, vernon.

I guess vita misunderstood me.

Willis is not in a coma,

They're just feeding
him through a tube.

I can't wait to hear if
willis is going to live or die!

Vernon, I think willis

Is going to get
better real fast. Bye.

And you better start
explaining real fast, dr. Jackson.

I mailed charlene the invitation

Because willis is so
miserable without her.

You don't sleep in
the same room with him,

So you don't hear
him moaning all night.

[Moaning] oh, charlene.

Oh, charlene.

Willis is just pretending
not to miss her.

So I figured I'd get them
together again, alone.

What made you think they
were going to be alone?

There's a big
party planned here,

With a lot of people.

Not anymore.

You mean, the only
invitation you sent out

Was to charlene?

Yeah.

But think of all
the stamps I saved!

Where's dr. Spock
when you need him?

Hey, thanks, dad.

This party is gonna be a blast.

It was a great idea.

Ah, yeah. Well, listen,
willis... [Doorbell rings]

Later... Later, dad.

That's gotta be vita.

I wrote on her invitation

To be extra early to help
me greet all my guests.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Can I come in?

Oh, sure. Come on in.

Thanks for inviting me, willis.

That was very
sophisticated of you.

That's me.

Mr. Sophisticated.

Charlene, how are you? Oh, hi!

Hey, charlene, how
ya doing? Hi, charlene.

Nice to see you.
Hi, mr. Drummond.

Would you like to
come get some punch?

We've got some really
good hors d'oeuvres, too.

Come on. Thanks.

Where do you think you're going?

Acapulco is nice
this time of year.

How did she get here?

I didn't invite her!

Arnold did.

Say what?

I just wanted to get you two

Together again, willis.

What about vita?

She hopes you get
over your pneumonia.

What?

Willis, I'm afraid that all
your guests have arrived.

The only invitation
that arnold sent

Was one to charlene.

You're kidding.

Where is everybody?

Am I the only guest here?

It sure looks that
way, doesn't it?

Kimberly, how
about you and arnold

Giving me a little
hand in the kitchen?

Oh, sure, I can
check the toothpicks

In the rumaki.

Yeah. There's nothing worse

Than a loose toothpick
in your rumaki.

Wow, you really look beautiful.

Thank you.

I sure was surprised to
get your invitation, willis.

How come you invited me?

Well, actually,
charlene, I didn't.

What?

Arnold invited you.

Oh. I see.

No, wait!

But I'm glad he did.

Charlene, I've been
miserable without you.

You have?

Well, that's wonderful!

What's so wonderful about it?

Well, I've been
miserable without you!

You have?

Then everything's ok again?

Not quite.

Well, I don't understand.

Willis, we can't go
back the way it was.

Oh, yeah, now I understand it.

I hope so.

'Cause I'm splitting for good

If it happens again.

Oh, don't worry, charlene.

I'll promise you, I'll never
take you for granted again.

You mean that?

I really do.

They made up!

They're slobbering
all over each other!

Hey, that's terrific.

I knew they'd get back together.

Arnold, you shouldn't
have done what you did.

You're just lucky it
came out the way it did.

Man, it's great to
be off the hook.

Not yet, you're not.

You owe me $200.

What you talking about, dad?

Willis planned a big party,

I've got a whole
refrigerator full of food!

No problem, dad.

Just hand me a
fork and step back.

♪ Somewhere there's
a love just for me... ♪

Charlene, this is the best party

I've ever been to.

♪ Now, the world don't move ♪

♪ To the b*at of just one drum ♪

♪ What might be right for you ♪

♪ May not be right for some ♪

♪ A man is born,
he's a man of means ♪

♪ Then along come two ♪

♪ They got nothin'
but their jeans ♪

♪ But they got
diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ It takes diff'rent strokes ♪

♪ To move the
world, yes, it does ♪