02x23 - Southern Comfurts

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Dukes of Hazzard". Aired: January 26, 1979 – February 8, 1985.*
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Cousins Bo and Luke certainly have a way of finding trouble with the law everywhere they turn.
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02x23 - Southern Comfurts

Post by bunniefuu »

'Yee-haw.'

There's a saying down in Hazzard

that there're three things
that folks can be certain of.

Death, taxes..

And Bo and Luke
Duke being chased

by Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

Well, I reckon that's more
than some places got.

Five minutes, just
five dang minutes late

with that payment on silly tires
and Boss Hogg won't take it.

See, Rosco, it ain't the money
I care about, it's that vehicle.

I mean, if I can
confiscate the tires, Rosco.

Then, how much trouble
could them Duke boys cause me

ridin' around on their
rims and bumpers.

Even you could catch 'em.

In..

What are you doing with that?

Get this chicken out of here.

While Boss and Rosco
was inspectin' chickens

Jesse was respondin'
to a call for help.

- Holly.
- Howdy, Jesse.

- Where is Lori?
- Oh, here.

Lori! Ha ha!

'Uncle Jesse!'

Hey, John Henry. Look at you.

You just growed
up and haired out.

Outside of John Henry,
you're the only man in the world

I trust to tell me what to do.

I ain't gonna
let no city slicker

real estate developer
bilk... poor widow lady

and her kin outta
their homestead.

Besides, we second
cousins, twice removed.

Now, you all just sit tight,
and I'll test these waters.

I'm Jesse Duke
from up in Hazzard.

Frank Baldwyn, Property
Mergers of Atlanta.

Here's my card. What
we intend to do, sir

is build a magnificent new
housing development right here...

- Now...
- We are prepared to pay more...

Now...

Than a fair price
for this property...

No, Mr. Baldwyn, let's
just take it nice and slow.

Mean what we say,
say what we mean.

Now, what's your proposition?

All the property, , .

One-quarter
million dollars deal.

One-quarter..

Yep, nothing throws ol' Jesse.

And next day at the Duke Farm.

Hey, the Comfurts just called.

They gonna stop by and say
howdy on the way to Savannah.

It'll be interesting to see how
that money's changed them.

If I had that kind of money,
I'd be out mendin' a few fences.

Well, you might, but
not your Comfurt cousins.

I know them folks.

They're just plain,
down to earth people

and I know Holly.

That money ain't gonna
change 'em one bit.

You gonna stand
there catchin' flies

or you gonna give
us a fittin' howdy-do?

Is that you?

Now, who'd you think was under
all this perfume and fancy duds

The Queen of Sheba?

- Hey, it is you.
- Yes.

And there is Lori.
I'll be damned.

John Henry. Ha!

This is Luke, that's
Bo, this is Daisy.

- Hello.
- Y'all go on in the house.

I've got supper on.

Holly..

Holly, the fellow
in the soldier's suit?

Oh, that's Iggins.

He's a servant man,
chauffer, and butler.

Kind of a package deal
they threw into the car rental.

Well, I knew a whole
lot of high-falutent things

come with these cars,
but a servant man and..

Oh! Jesse Duke, it's
just me. See, it's just me.

Now, come on. Let's go in.
I've got some presents for you.

'Come on.'

Now, while Miss Comfurt was
sharing her joy with the Dukes

hanging outside the Hazzard Bank

was a face that only
a mother could love.

You know there ain't no
good gonna come with this.

Here, Rosco, there's
the Duke farm ahead.

Well, we've looked
everyplace else.

So, I guess that dang orange
car must be sitting at home..

- Just waitin' for us.
- It's gotta be there.

And you got the search
warrant, and we'll just bust in there

and grab them tires
right off General Lee.

Yeah.

And when we do, I'm gonna
throw the book at them Duke boys.

I ain't leavin' out one page.
Includin' the table of contents.

Cousin Holly, these are
the prettiest dresses I ever...

Oh. Thank you.

I had the fashion lady
at one of the boutiques

pick 'em out for you.

Say, John Henry, I
think this clock's broken.

It shows lot of
different times on it.

That's because it tells
the time all over the world.

So, if somebody asks
you what time it is in China

you can just tell 'em.

- I'll just tell 'em right away.
- Yeah.

Uncle Jesse, now the card
on a box say this is for you.

Oh-oh, no. That's
gotta be for Daisy, Luke.

Daisy, this is gotta be for you.

It's percent mink.
And it's for you, Jesse.

Oh! No.

Men don't wear no mink coats.

- A man mink does. Put it on.
- No, no. Now, Holly..

Come, try it.

- Holly.
- Oh! You look so cute in this.

- Ah, it looks good.
- You look good.

Holly... now, listen dear.

This coat and all them presents,
we can't take this from you.

Now, you listen
to me, Jesse Duke.

It's the least we Comfurts
could do to repay you

for negotiating our land deal.

Call it your commission.

Holly, that was
done out of love.

Kin folks don't take
commission from kin folks.

Have we got 'em.

We got the warrant
and I got the wheel.

Rosco, check my
eyesight for me, will you?

Is that a Rolls-Royce,
back there?

Yeah, that's what it is.

Now, what is a Rolls doing
parked here at the Duke Farm?

I know. I bet, I know.

I bet 'em Duke boys
traded that General Lee

in on this new Rolls-Royce.

Rosco, you know
sometimes you act like a fool

and sometimes
you talk like a fool.

'And sometimes, you
even look like a fool.'

Hm.

But don't get me
wrong, you are a fool!

That Duke boys would never swap

their orange
clunker for no Rolls.

Well, I know that.

'Get in the barn and
find that car of theirs.'

And them tires. And
don't come back till you do.

- Don't you thr*aten me...
- What'd you say? I heard...

No. I was talking
to the goat here.

It's a, it's a mean..

I hate you, goat.

- I'll get the door, sir.
- My door, and I'll get it.

It simply isn't done, sir.

- But..
- Ain't that sweet, Jesse?

Alright, Duke. I've got me
a search warrant here to..

- Who are you?
- Iggins the butler, sir.

May I ask who's calling?

Butler?

Well, Mister Butler, I don't
know what them Dukes

got you to try to pull,
but let me tell you

it ain't gonna work.

A mink coat?

Jefferson Davis Hogg,
what makes you think

that you can come barging
into a man's home, his castle

'when he's
entertaining his kin?'

He refused to be announced, sir.

He did, did he? Well, then,
call the sheriff of these parts

and tell him we
have a trespasser.

Hold on there.

I'm here with the sheriff

under my legal rights to
collect the debt owed me

'by those two deadbeats
of yours in there.'

Now, them boys tried to pay
you and you refused the offer.

Because it was overdue.

Overdue? I'll overdue
you right up, right to hell.

Now, wait a minute.
Calm down, everybody.

John Henry, honey,
bring me my purse.

If the man's got money owed him.

- Holly!
- We pay him.

- Well, now, Holly.
- Here, I've got it.

Holly..

Here's a bill.

It's the smallest I've
got. So keep the change.

Now, just a cotton
pickin' minute.

'You can't go around
paying all the Dukes' bills'

simply because you come
into a quarter of a million dollars.

A quarter of a million dollars?

Friends and neighbors, a
quarter of a million anything

is enough to set ol'
Boss' glands in orbit.

Ah. Well, now, I sure
don't want to cause

any kinda family
squabble here, now.

'I mean, it's a real simple
thing, a small little matter'

I mean, it don't
count for nothin'.

So, why don't we
just forget all about it

and you take back your money.

You see it with
your own eyes, folks.

Boss givin' back money.

I guess, the next thing, ol'
Rosco will be walking on water.

Watch it, you..

I fount it right off.
Oh, my goodness.

That's it, that's it.

Well, that's real
friendly of you, mister..

- Hogg, ma'am.
- Hogg.

- J.D. Hogg, ma'am.
- J.D. Hogg.

Jefferson Davis Hogg, ma'am.

- Jefferson Davis Hogg.
- At your service.

The only reason he's bowing
is to see into your purse better.

Jesse Duke, man does an
honorable thing like Mr. Hogg

and you go and say
a nasty thing like that.

Shame on you.

Good news!

Good news! Good..

Who are you?

Good news, Boss.

I've found it. I've found the
General Lee in Jesse's garage.

You thought you
had me fooled, huh?

You..

Don't listen to him, folks.

He's gone plum out of his mind.

Always babbles like
this just after a full moon.

'Who are you?'

Nice to have met you, ma'am.

Oh..

With my compliments,
the search warrant..

You may dispose of
the pieces, my good man.

Rosco, off your butt! Let's go.

Boss, you know what
I don't understand is

I'm all ready to repossess
those tires off the General Lee

and you say forget it.

Yeah. That's because you
don't see the big picture, like I do.

Oh. Is that why you
married my sister?

No.

Starting right now, I'm going
into the separatin' business.

Separatin' what?

Them new rich folks in there
from a quarter million dollars.

You see, they've got great need
of an investment advisor now.

And I got this investment to
advise 'em to put that money in.

Namely, that big old
land, I own down state.

You know, the other
edge of the swamp...

It's a little further
in than that.

Yeah.

We'll get him a rowboat.

I'm terribly sorry, Ms. Holly.
It doesn't seem to be working.

Woah-woah, hold it
there. What's the problem?

I believe it exploded
a packing, sir.

I think he means
it's blown a basket.

Oh, I think he means it's blown
a gasket. Let me take a look.

I can look at it. I know just as
much about cars as Luke does.

Let me have that.

It ain't American.

Ain't that quick?

But bein' the best drivers
around, don't necessarily

mean that they can do it all.

Ah, sometimes they
need a bona fide expert.

Like the legendary
Cooter Davenport.

You know something, Holly?

You're getting awful uppity

since you've come
into all this money.

What you planning to do with it?

Well, the first thing I done
is to get us some new digs.

Put a $ , deposit
on a new house.

Twenty rooms and each one
with its own indoor plumbing.

Twenty rooms? Uh, the three
of you don't need no rooms.

It ain't just for us, Jesse,
it's a roomin' house.

I heard about in Savannah.

I always did wanna get in
the bed and boardin' business.

John Henry's good with folks,
so he's gonna help run the place.

But you don't know
nothing about running

a bed and boardin' business.

Well, I didn't know nothing
about farming neither

till I done it.

Well, that's true.

Besides, these days money
don't last unless it works for you.

It's also gotta send
John Henry to college.

And Lori, well, she
got her heart set

on opening up her own little
boutique shop in Savannah.

Sounds to me like you've got
most of that quarter a million

already spent.

Yeah, it sure do.

And this roomin' house
gonna take a lot of work already.

Needs painting and furnishing
and stuff, but it's going to be

worth it, even if we gotta
start from scratch again.

I want you to know that
whenever you come to Savannah

'you've got free bed
and board for life.'

Holly.

Ah, sh**t fire and
save box matches.

Ma'am, I see
what your trouble is

but you have bigger trouble.

You in a hurry?

- Yeah.
- You've got bigger trouble.

Well, don't evade
the issue, what is it?

Oh, well, you see, we
ain't got no foreign part store

hear in Hazzard, as
you might have noticed

'so I gotta ask a buddy
of mine in Hotlanta'

and that takes
two or three days.

'What you gonna do till then?'

If Lori needs a ride
around town, I can drive her.

Over my half of the General.

'Holly and John Henry
need a car too, don't they?'

Hey, hey, hey, now
you all don't fight.

I just happen to
have right over here

this ol' government retread.

Now, I admit that
the ol' gray sedan

ain't what she used to
be, but it'll do in a pinch.

Nice. Yeah, it will.

Well, you can't live in
an ivory tower forever.

Ah, we'll take it.

Let me take that for you.

Yeah, Cooter.

Hey, guys, I gotta
pick up a few things.

I'll be back before you could
say Sugar Ray Robinson.

I gotta pick up a
couple things myself.

Alright, me too. Yeah.

Hey!

Excuse me, somebody
just swapped a gray lemon.

- Hey!
- Hey!

Just don't stand there
like that. Do something!

What? Don't you remember
they towed your car over here?

I don't understand why
anybody would run off

with a piece of junk like that.

Can't be worth more.

- Quarter of a million dollars.
- What?

She said a quarter
of a million dollars.

Ma, she don't trust the
banks, so she kept the money

in the suitcase that
we put in the trunk.

- Ah, you put...
- You put the bag in the trunk.

But he opened the trunk.

While the money was getting
away, the Dukes and Comfurts

held a council.

Well, what are we gonna do, ma?

What can we do? It's goodbye
and good riddance to everything now.

We ain't got no money. We
ain't got a home to go back to.

Stop getting your
feathers all ruffled.

We'll think of something.

Besides, we've been poor
before. Being down ain't all so bad.

Since when?

Not when you're at the
bottom of a lot of stairs

you've got to climb.

We gonna stand here
and jaw about it all day?

- Or are we gonna do something?
- Let's find it.

That'll be like looking
for a needle in a hayride.

Maybe not. Whoever stole that
car don't know about the money.

Yet.

What we ought to do is find
that car before whoever took it

discovers the money's there.

But we've got one
problem, Uncle Jesse.

We don't know
where they're headed.

Wait, when that gray
car went out of Hazzard

it was heading
towards Center City.

That's right, there's
one crossroad

goes to Plattsborough one
way, Pine Springs the other.

What we ought to do is
divide up into three groups.

Uh, John Henry, you and
Daisy go towards Plattsborough.

Me, Bo and Lori will
leave to Center City.

Holly and me will
go to Pine Springs.

Okay, come on. Let's get goin'!

Wait, Jesse.

Pardon, Master John, I do
have a rooting interest, you know.

Well, sure. Hop in, Iggins.

Thank you so much.

Remember ol' ugly, at the bank?

Well, things in Hazzard
are a fixing to get worse.

Yeah, umm. Rosco.

Well, I'm sorry. It ricocheted
off your chrome dome there...

Hogg, sheriff, them
Comfurts has been robbed.

What?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, Enos. Listen, don't panic.

Boss, all it is was
a little gray sedan

Cooter loaned out to the
Comfurt girl has been swiped.

That's all.

Oh, little gray
sedan. Is that all?

No, sir, there's
$ , in a suitcase

in the back of that car.

$ , ! That's
their whole fortune!

Will you... just don't stand
there like that. Do something.

Well, nobody asked
me to help him.

I ain't talking about
helping them, nincompoop.

I'm talking about helping me.

Oh, I can help you.

I was going to
invest all their money.

'All my plans, gone.'

Don't you remember, I was
going to get them to invest

in that swamp land.

Oh-oh, swamp land which you own.

Yeah-yeah, well, it could
be very valuable, you know.

- All them water rights.
- Yeah, it is underwater.

You stop using your
head for a head wreck and

get out an APB on
that gray vehicle.

Right.

Tell them, when they
find it not to stop it.

But to tell us and
nobody else where it's at.

- You got that, dipstick?
- Oh, yes, sorta.

Well, then do it.

You and me, we're gonna
go look for that vehicle

all by ourselves.

Okay.

- If we find it first...
- Then we get the money.

- Uh, uh, uh.
- Uh, uh?

- You get the money.
- Uh, uh, uh.

I'll confiscate it as evidence.

Breaker, breaker,
Lost Sheep here.

Anybody out there with
their ears on, come back.

In no time at all they were
eye-balling every asphalt alley

in the county.

Holly, I know it's
foolish to tell you this

but... I wish you wouldn't
worry about this thing

anymore than you have to.

We'll get that car back,
if it's in Hazzard County.

Those boys of mine know every
nook and cranny of this county.

I always wanted to
give me an education.

I'm sure learning the hard way.

Suppose, I mean,
now just suppose now...

Suppose we don't
get that money back?

No, I ain't gonna
think that way.

Too many plans I've
got for them kids of mine.

I'm not going to let
them down, Jesse.

I'm not going to do it.

How you doin', Iggins?

Very well suspending, madam.

He means he's hanging in there.

'Daisy, it's Luke.
Do you read me?'

Loud and clear,
Luke, what's going on.

What's your ?

Just a few yards
past Box Top Bend.

Alright, we've got a
howdy from Pepper Shake

about three miles up,
eyeballing a gray sedan

that dusted its
britches struttin' style

So, keep peddlin' with
both feet. We're gone.

We're done, we're
gone and bye-bye.

You heard the man, John Henry.

We'll put it to the floor
and look some more.

Whoo!

Hold on, Iggins.

That makes two
flats in two days.

Either, Boss is
selling us seconds

or these tires come with
their own built in nails.

Lori, there's a whole
bunch of gray sedans

in Hazzard County,
but don't you worry

we'll find the one
with your money.

What's the problem, Bo?

What do you mean?

What's taking you so long?

Luke, if you got
some kind of complaint

you can finish this by yourself.

- 'Hey, I do my part... '
- Hey, boys.

Boys, they just gotta stop
all these petty bickerin'

and gettin' your
hormones all worked up.

We've a job to do, and
there's only one way to settle it.

- What's that?
- I'll do it.

Now, look what you did.

What do you mean?
I didn't do anything.

Exactly, you didn't do nothing.
Now, she's changing the tire.

Lori, back off, changin'
tires ain't women's work.

Yeah, but necessity is
the mother of intervention.

Ain't she?

Breaker one. Might be crazy,
but it's Crazy Cooter comin' at you.

Good afternoon to you.

'On the flash, the
entire Hazzard County

is just going down to
ol' Walter's Paint Shop

down here at Possum Hollow.

Film at eleven. Back
to you, buckaroo.

Why's Rosco gettin' into
this? Let's get out of here.

Tighten your seatbelt,
Lori. We're running heavy.

Lori, sneak the
General around back.

Start him up and wait
here for us, alright?

You got it, kissing cuz.

Come on.

What did I tell you? Gray
car. Come on, come on.

Go get the keys.

Will you stop
obstructing justice?

- Ah.
- It's gone. It's...

- Ain't nothin' in there.
- I know..

'Lori, I'm sorry... '

But, Enos, you
don't understand...

- Hey, Enos.
- Hey, Luke.

Hey, Enos, excuse me, buddy.

I was just telling Miss
Lori that I'm real sorry

but I'm just following orders.

I gotta arrest you all.

- What else is new, Enos?
- Bye, Enos.

Oh, well, another getaway.

- Enos, Enos.
- Enos!

Yes, sir, I'm sorry.

Just don't stand there gawkin'
like we're a couple of freaks.

Y'all look like gingerbread men.

Go after them, will you?

- Oh, yeah, go after them.
- Not you, not you!

Not me?

Has that paint
clogged your brains?

We still gotta find the gray
car with the money in it.

Your money? Well,
come on, get in the car.

'No, not yet, not yet.'

First we're gonna
clean ourselves up'

'on account of
this here red paint.'

Unless, you want
to be a sitting duck

for the first bull you meet.

- Oh, oh, that was smart.
- Yeah.

So, Bo and Luke were
trying to find the gray car

with ol' Enos chasing
them every turn of the wheel.

Don't y'all wish your
car could do that?

Breaker, Breaker, any
good buddies out there?

This here is the Lost Sheep.

We've got Smokey on our
back door ready to bust it in.

Luke, this is Mr. Clean.
What's your ?

We're just a hoot and
a holler outta Wayburn

heading towards Center.

Right at your front
door, ol' buddy.

Bring out Smokey
and split the threat.

Back at you, Mr. Clean. Good
numbers around your house.

- You heard the man.
- Yes, sir.

'Breaker, Breaker, we're
knocking at your back door.'

'Come on.'

'No problem, Luke.
Bring it on through.'

Much obliged, Mr. Clean.
Catch you on the flip-flop.

Daisy, be on the
lookout for Smokey.

He's got bear traps
all over the place.

I hear you.

Uncle Jesse, you read me?

Uncle Jesse? Got your ears on?

'Uncle Jesse come back.'

It ain't the right one.

I know it ain't, now. But
we had to check it out.

Oh, what does he want?

You stay put, I'll find out.

That's a takin' overest
woman I ever did see.

Ding, dang, those Dukes
played dirty, doggone it.

Oh, hey, Miss Comfurt.

Is something wrong, deputy?

You've seen Uncle
Jesse around here?

Oh, I did. He just went
into the office down there.

- Into the yard.
- Thank you. Appreciate it.

Yeah.

- What does he want?
- Us. Let's go.

Uncle Jesse.

Wait a minute, Uncle
Jesse. Miss Comfurt.

We're in a jam and you're taking
the time to paint the General.

Hey, boy, the cops
pick us up in this thing

we're gonna have
plenty of time in jail.

There'd be no mess if you
hadn't left the keys in the car.

What do you mean me? It
wasn't my fault, it's Cooter's car.

Hey, can we dispense
with all the fussin' and feudin'

or we're never gonna
find mama's money.

Alright.

Now, Holly, I know you're
gonna get that money back

but well, just in case you
don't, I-I want you to know

that you and the kids will
have a roof over your head

and three square a day,
as long as I'm around.

Never occurred to
me otherwise, Jesse.

You better keep your
eye on the road out there.

That car's out there somewhere.

'Uncle Jesse, got your ears on?'

'Uncle Jesse, come back.'

Yeah, got my ears on you.
Don't have to blast my eardrums.

Alright, we got a hot
lead from a mobile man.

It seems the guy just sold
his dealer in Center City

a gray sedan just like
the one we're looking for.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Rosco, did you hear that?

Or have you got peanut
butter in your ears?

Center City, he said! Come on.

I'm going.

Well, there's the
missing gray car.

Which has been sold as a
used car, and then bought again.

And guess who bought it?

Ol' ugly at the bank.

That little bank in
Hazzard should be good

for about grand.

Taking it'll be a cinch.

Now, friends and neighbors,
only in Hazzard County

would a bank robber be
hitting a bank for ten thousand.

And not know there's a
quarter of a million in the trunk.

And only the Duke Boys
will be chasing that car

and not know it's filled
with armed bank robbers.

Sometimes, I wonder
how Jesse sleeps nights.

The worryin'.

'Get out of the way, will
you? I'm the law here.'

Which way did that
gray vehicle go?

That-a-way. Alright, let's go.

'You inner city idiot!'

'Come on now. Let's go.'

'Get on. Move it.
Move it, will you?'

Jesse, Daisy.

'This here is Luke.
Is anybody out there?'

This is Iggins, sir.

Miss Daisy and Master John
are lunching at the moment.

We're out here running ourselves
ragged, and they've got time

for champagne brunch. Huh?

No, sir, I believe the table
consisted of bread, cheese

and beer, which they
insisted upon being ice cold

if you can believe it.

Tell them to put the
chairs in the wagon

and start shaking
trees back to Hazzard.

I beg your pardon, sir?

He means tell them to get
their butts back into that jeep

and start searching
the road to Hazzard.

The money is still in the trunk,
and that car is headed your way.

'Alright, just pull
up to the bank now.'

'Let me out.'

'But where are you going?'

'Thought I'll go get
a chocolate malt.'

No, you're not. You're gonna
keep looking for that gray car.

- Oh.
- We ain't got the money yet.

Now, meanwhile,
I'm going into the bank

and start working on
the new business...

Holly, you've got
enough worry lines in that

pretty face of yours
without adding more.

Jesse, there's not much to
smile about when your whole life

and children's future gets
stolen out from under you.

Well, Holly, that
ain't the case. Yet.

Oh, I should stayed on the farm.

Lots of money brings
nothing, but trouble.

You're always afraid
you're going to lose it.

And if you don't, you don't
know what to do with it.

Well, you know
what to do with it.

I think that boarding and
bed place is a good idea.

Educating Lori and John
Henry, well, that's about the best

thing I could think of
to do with that money.

But I should have
put it in the bank.

You should have
put it in the bank.

You said it. I didn't.

But we'll get that money
back. You just gotta have faith.

Where we all going if we don't?

Well, now, I've been thinking
that maybe turnin' that farm

of mine into a
boarding and bed place.

And you and the kids

why, you could be
my first customers.

Oh, Jesse.

Ah, there you go. That's
the kind of lines I'd like to see

in that pretty face of yours.

Stay right here. This
won't take a minute.

There ain't no gray sedan here.

Backfires from Cooter's garage?

Call it a woman's intuition,
but I say it came from the bank.

Think you're right. Do it.

You've got my money.
What do you want with me?

It's a gray car.

Any color you want.

Hey, there it is, a gray sedan.

'Oh, you gonna hit
the curb, easy, alright.'

'Alright, bring it
down on all fours.'

'Get it back down here, Bo.'

The bank guard didn't recognize
the repainted General Lee.

And told Rosco that there was
two holdup cars getting away.

Enos!

Enos, you dipstick..

Now that's about
par for Hazzard.

Hey, boys, don't hurt me now.

I mean, don't hurt me. Eh,
look you got all my money.

Why don't you just let me go?

- Shut up!
- Yes.

Green car following us.

It ain't no police car.

There's a couple of cop
cars right behind him.

Enos, arm yourself.
They're sh**ting at us.

Yes, sir, sheriff.

Enos! Enos, you dipstick.
You just took out my mirror.

You're supposed
to be on my side.

I'm sorry, sheriff, you
got in the ding-dang way.

I'm sorry.

Hand me that bow back there.

- 'You gonna fight with that?'
- Yeah.

Gimme that.

We're on probation, we
can't use no g*ns, remember?

Listen, boys, let's make a deal.

I'll tell you where you can
get your hands on $ ,

if you just pull over and let
me hop out right here. Huh?

Hold it steady, Bo.

Holding it as steady
as I can. You be careful.

This isn't a Sunday
stroll, you know.

I gotta get a shot
at that back tire.

Those aren't cops.
They're Indians.

Alright, Luke.

Dang.

Hope to get another one.

Now, Daisy, Uncle Jesse.

'We got that sedan
heading towards the junction.'

'We'll need your help.'

'We got Rosco breathing
right down our neck as usual.'

Ah, give me some room, and
I'll cut Rosco off at the junction.

Hang on, Holly.

Bo, there are two
cars behind us.

It's Enos.

Could y'all do me a
favor. Take Enos, too?

I hate to do it to him,
but we'll take Enos.

Bo, I can't hit nothin' with you
wandering all over the road.

I'm keeping it steady as I can.

Listen, we're the sh**t
and they're the sh**t-ees.

Not the other way around.

'Come on, Bo. Hold
her on course, will you?'

'Just give me one more shot.'

Alright.

'Alright, Luke!'

Throw me the money.

Head for those woods.
Over there! Come on!

Let's go!

What say we do
this the lazy way?

Alright.

- Ready?
- Yup.

Go.

- Shall we, Higgins?
- After you.

Thank you. Ha ha ha.

Hey! What you doing?

No! No, no, no. Don't take this.

Oh, look. I tell you
what, I'm gonna invest it.

I'm gonna invest it for you.

'I'm gonna put this money
in at thirty five percent.'

Oh! Oh, my gosh, look..

Well, the Comfurts
got their money back.

Rosco! My money!

Wait! Freeze! Oh,
my money! Ha ha ha!

Bo and Luke collected
that reward money

for catchin' them crooks.

They spent it putting the
General back in shape.

The only loser
seemed to be Jesse.

- Bye-bye, now.
- Bye, Bo.

- I'm gonna miss you.
- Sure hate to see you go.

But I know you gotta do
what you gotta do, Holly.

Like I told you, got plenty room
for you down Savannah way.

Anytime you want a roof
over your head, you got it.

Jesse Duke, don't take too long.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Ain't they forgettin' something?

- Get outta here.
- Iggins?

What are you doing
here with a goat?

Miss Holly left me to
take care of your family.

No way. No way.

Load him in the truck.

And that's the legend of how
the Dukes saved the Comfurts

foiled a robbery,
and lost a butler.

All in one day. Which ain't
unusual in Hazzard County.
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