05x10 - Love, Honor and Obey/Gladys and Agnes/Radioactive Isaac

[bunniefuu]

♪ Love, exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard
it's love ♪

Hello.

Hi.

I'm Mrs. Johnson, and this
is my sister, miss larabee.

Hello, welcome aboard.

Thank you.

Oh, yes, you're in the
promenade suite, cabin .

Oh, is that a nice one?

It's the most
luxurious suite we have.

[Agnes] Ah, well,
that ought to be nice enough!

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Forgive me, but I can't help but
admire your taste in luggage.

Oh. Thank you.
Why, it's the same as yours.

I know.
That's why I admired it.
[Laughs]

May I introduce myself?
I'm Henry whitewood.

Well, I'm Gladys Johnson,
and this is my sister,
Agnes larabee.

How do you do?

Miss larabee.
I'm Mrs., but a widow.

May I atone for the collision

by offering you
champagne after we sail?

Oh, I'd love to-- I, I mean,
we'd like that very much.

Splendid, I'll see you later.

Oh. Well, there can't be
any harm in it.

I mean, he seems like
a perfect gentleman.

Well let's
look at it positively,

the sea air
may be able to cure him.

Hi, we're the vitellis.
With a "v."

Uh... vitelli.

Here we are, fiesta deck, .

Thank you.
Would you believe

that exactly years ago
tomorrow night

we met and were married
on a ship just like this?

Really? What ship was it?

The Titanic.

Stop, Tony.
This is going to be so romantic!

Everything to her is romantic.

On the way here,
the taxi was sideswiped,

she thought that was romantic.

Our kids got us these tickets

so we would have
a romantic cruise,

and that's what we're
gonna have.

Me,
I hope we have some fun instead.

Oh, whoa, slow down.
Why the suit? Who died?

Nobody, I had to go into town
to see the dentist,

my tooth was k*lling me.

Listen, has
Patty Phelps checked in yet?

Patty Phelps?

Yeah, she works in the flower
shop in the terminal.

She is so beautiful.

I can't think straight
whenever I run into her.

All I can do is,
well, talk silly.

Real silly.

Which gets nobody nowhere.

So I've been trying
to sell her on a cruise.

And she finally agreed.

Now, maybe she can get
to know me better.

And to know you is to love you.

Or somethin'. Oh, there she is.

Oh, this is gonna be
a real cozy cruise.

Patty.

Oh, Isaac.

I almost didn't recognize
you without your uniform.

Oh, I had to change
into this because my tooth hurt.

[Laughs]

Um...

Allow me.
Please. I'm Brandon ames.

Thank you very much,
but we're-- ames? Yes!

The ucla track team, wasn't it?
About five years ago.

You mean you
actually came to the meets?

How on earth did I miss you?

Oh, my goodness.

I'll see you later, Isaac.

Well, you were right,
it is going to be
a real cozy cruise.

For the three of you.

[Ship horn blowing]

Most pleasant, a welcome change
from English weather.

Oh, I like English weather.

Oh, you've visited?

Oh, just once.
Devon. I loved it.

Do you know that we actually
stood right on Plymouth hoe

on the headland where
sir Francis Drake

first sighted the sails and
banners of the Spanish armada.

It was thrilling.

Agnes gets
carried away sometimes.

Not at all,
it's most refreshing.

Especially these days
when people tend
to mask their emotions.

I trust that the champagne is
of satisfactory quality
for the Earl of dunsbury?

Isaac.

Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot.

It's fine, thank you.

Did he say "Earl"?

Yes, I'm sorry about that.

I told Isaac not
to say anything.

Do you actually have a title?

Totally through the deeds
of my ancestors.

One of whom stood
with Drake and lord Howard

on that very headland
you visited.

Then put to sea
in her majesty's
good ship ark royal

to face the armed might
of the Spanish armada.

Oh, how wonderful.

However, this
is a different world.

And I'd be most pleased
if you would call Henry.

Henry it is.

Oh, I say, I'm terribly sorry,
I have a call to make

to england. My son, you know.

May I look forward
to the pleasure of your company

at dinner this evening?

Oh, that would be lovely.

Fine.

Oh, Gladys!

Slow down.

He may be a total phony.

But you heard him.

One of his ancestors actually

sailed against the armada
in the ark royal.

Let's check
with the captain

to make sure it wasn't
the good ship lollipop.

Mr. and Mrs. Vitelli?

Yes.

Hi, I'm Julie McCoy,
your cruise director.

Oh, hi, Julie.

Dr. Bricker told me that this is
your th wedding anniversary.

That's right!

It gave us an idea.

We thought you might
like to have a wedding ceremony.

If you're also
the house detective,
Rose and I are already married.

I know, but couples sometimes
like to go through the ceremony
again on their anniversary.

I'm sure the captain
would love to officiate.

You put her up to this.

I did not put her up to it.

Listen, that sounds like
a wonderful idea.
Tell the captain yes.

Tell him no.
Forget it, Rosie.

I'd feel silly.

Tony, just once I want
to do something

only because
I want to do it, okay?

And I would love
to do the ceremony again.

So tell the captain yes.

I'm sure you'll enjoy it,
Mr. Vitelli.

But we're already married.
Who needs reruns?

It would be so romantic.

Make up your mind,
you want romance or marriage?

Tell the captain yes.

Okay.

Rose...

If I sell our coin collection,

will you go see a psychiatrist?

Oh! There she is,
and Mr. Dynamite
nowhere in sight.

All right. Get in there, k*ller.

Right.

But nothing silly.

Right.

Hi, Patty.

Uh... can I get you
something to drink?

Sure.

What looks good at the bar?

Me, I just got a haircut.

Same old Isaac, huh?

Yeah.

Well, I'll settle for
a ginger ale.

Great idea.

Hey, you got a big laugh
out there.

I couldn't-- listen--

doing the funnies again
or what?

I couldn't help it,
this dumb joke just popped out.

I was going right--

[lively music]

Do you hear music?

Yep. No. It's gone now.

But it sort of sounded as if it
was coming from inside my head.

Is this another routine?

No, honest.

Probably just a band
rehearsing or something.

Well, come on!
Back to beautiful.

Mm!

Yeah.

Hi, Patty,
here's your ginger ale.

You know, uh...
We're having a dance tonight

and there's this really
great orchestra,

and I thought that,
well, you know--

[lively music]

Do you hear that music?

You're making it! [Laughs]
Oh, Isaac.

Well, hello.

Oh, Brandon,

you want to hear
the funniest thing?

Isaac can
imitate a whole orchestra.

Go ahead, do it for him.

Oh, come on!

Some other time.

[Music starts, stops]

[Music starts, stops]

Did you speak
to the captain?

Henry is legit.

He's a widower, one grown son,
and he is a real Earl.

[Screams] Oh, I knew it!

I know, aggie.
Now, about dinner.
Why don't just the two of you--

oh, no, you don't.
That's sweet of you, Gladys,

but I'm not
going to let you do it.

Now, we agreed
to spend mother's insurance

and have a once-in-a-lifetime
cruise, together,

and we're
gonna have it together.

Besides, I wouldn't even
enjoy myself knowing
you were sitting alone.

[Telephone rings]

Hello?

Mrs. Johnson, this is gopher.

Well, hello there, tiger.

Uh, no, not tiger, gopher.
A much smaller animal.

[Laughs]
Seriously, we found your
suitcase that was mislaid.

You're a persistent
little devil.

What are you doing
on this ship anyway?

Well, ma'am, I seldom leave it,

especially when we're
this far out in the ocean.

Why don't I just send it down
to you. Okay?

Tonight? Well, you know
that I am with my sister.

What? [Laughs]

Would you stop that?

What cabin? I'll call you back.

Who was that?

Oh, that was gopher.
About, about some luggage.

Gladys... come on now,
tell me.

All right.
I met this man,
you know, at my lawyer's.

He is so handsome,
but he's such a scamp.

Oh!

Anyway, I ran into him when
I was talking to the captain.

And he wants to see you.

Well--

oh, you sly puss, that's why
you wanted me to be with Henry.

Well, it's perfect, we can have
dinner together, all four us.

What he has in mind
was dinner alone...

In his cabin.

Dinner alone?

In his cabin?

I don't think I should.

Gladys Johnson, this
is your sister, Agnes, talking.

Now, did I ever steer you wrong?

It's later than you think.
Go for it.

Can you believe it!

Our first day aboard,

and already each of us
has a handsome man.

Hey. This is gonna be
a cruise to remember!

Music...
From inside your head?

It's not my imagination, doc,

other people have heard it too.

Yeah, but in all my experience,

I've never run across...

Wait a minute.
Have you had any dental
work done recently?

Yeah, just this morning.
How'd you know?

A new filling? Silver?

Uh-huh.

I'll tell you what,
I read somewhere

that occasionally the
crystalline structure
of a filling

vibrates in sympathy
with radio waves.

That could account for it.

I'll just see something.

Yeah, you might just
have a case of radio mouth.

[Mumbles] Radio mouth?

It's possible.

But it's a one
in a billion chance.

That's me,
one in a billion Isaac.

My tooth
is now a radio receiver?

Well, it can't hurt you.

That's what you think.
Doc, there is this very fine,

foxy lady who I'm trying
to get serious with.

I sure can't do that with a
mouth full of led zeppelin.

Well, maybe it stopped.

I don't hear anything.

It comes and it goes,
always at the wrong time.

Uh, wait a minute...

[Radio noise]

I'm getting something...

...late night
and early morning clouds.

And now turning
to the kbex wall street report.

If the general upward trend--

financial news.

...some selected stocks.
Newport Strauss is down five...

Newport Strauss is down five.

What am I gonna do?

Sell.

But look, there is nothing
you can do till you get back
to your dentist.

What a time
for me to turn into a freak.

Wait a minute.
I recognize that announcer.

That's the San Diego station.
They go off the air at midnight.

Midnight, huh?

Can you wait till then?

Yeah.

But the question is...
Will she?

And tell doc if he has time,

I need a best man
for a wedding ceremony.

Yes.

Nine o'clock, my office.

Right, sir. Okay.

My, my, don't you ladies
look lovely?

Mm, mm, mm.

Oh, thank you, captain.

[Laughs]

He's right.

You look absolutely marvelous.

You look like a duchess.

[Laughs] But I don't feel
right wearing your pearls.

Well, there's no sense
in my wearing them

because the guy I'll be with
would just bite them off.

[Agnes laughs]

You stay out just as late as you
want, 'cause I'll be even later.

I'm going to have
a real fun night!

Oh!

Good evening, ladies.

Oh, hello, Henry.

How fortunate I am to have such
twin aphrodites.

[Laughs]

My word. I've never seen
more magnificent pearls.

Oh, thank you.
I mean, Agnes has superb taste.

Well, shall we?

Without me, I'm afraid.

I had forgot I had
a previous commitment.

Oh, I am sorry.

Well, perhaps
we'll see you later.

Have a good time.

[Clears throat]

Excuse me?

Yes?

What's playing
at the movies tonight?

Uh... it's an educational film
on the life
of the elephant seal.

Is it this way?

Yes, ma'am.

I'm going over there
and I'm gonna dance with her,

because the orchestra's
playing loud enough
to drown out my filling.

Don't chance it.

I gotta make
some kind of move.

Don't--

may I?

[Sighs] Momentarily.

Well, no jokes?

[Band stops playing]

[Orchestral music]

Don't you ever stop clowning?

May I reclaim you now?

Being a one-man band
may be funny to you,

but I don't
like being embarrassed.

It's not what you think, honest.

Can I talk to you on
deck after the dance?

[Sighs] What, more jokes?

No. It's very important.

Please?

Well, all right.

Henny youngman
blew it again, huh?

No, goph,
it's gonna be all right.

She promised to meet
me on deck after the dance.

And when San Diego goes off,

the charming Isaac Washington
is gonna come on!

...let him speak now
or forever hold his peace.

Do you, Rose, take Anthony to
be your lawful wedded husband,

to love, honor and obey?

Obey?

No.

What?

Love and honor, yes.

But obey? Nah.

Rose, what is this?

Look, the word "obey"
isn't necessary.

We don't need it.

But you said it last time.

Captain, start over
with the "do you take" stuff.
Rosie made a mistake.

Uh, captain, no,
there's no mistake.

Look, why don't you just say,
"love, honor and respect"?

Very well.

[Tony] Hold it! Hold it!

It's not supposed
to be "respect."

[Rose] I'm not gonna say "obey."

They are leaving it out
of a lot of ceremonies
these days.

Hey!

Then again, they're leaving it
in a lot too.

I'm not saying "obey."

Yes, you are.

I'm not.

You better if you know
what's good for you.

Don't talk to me--

I'm talking to you
right now!

I think you're
both pretty excited,
maybe if you just talk it over--

i don't have to talk
over nothing.
No "obey," no wedding.

No wedding?

[Rose] Okay, we'll have it
the way you want.

No wedding. No nothing.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means it's over.

I want a divorce!

Good evening, Mrs. Johnson.

Hi, Julie. Sit down.

Thank you.

I'll tell you all you want
to know but were afraid to ask

about the mating habits
of the elephant seal.

Are you all right?

Oh, I'm tired.

But I can't go to bed
until after my sister does.

Oh, I see. No I don't.

I have had
a lovely marriage.

But Agnes has never
had anything.

She spent her whole life
looking after mother.

That's finally over.

And now, sweet Providence
has rewarded her

with her first love.

Aw!

So I just want to do everything
I can to keep the romance going.

Of course!

There they are! [Gasps]
She mustn't see me.

[Agnes] So your son
doesn't live with you?

No, no,
he prefers London.

He's a fine boy.

Struggling scholar.

He's going to be a teacher.

Oh!

Good evening, Julie,
any chance for a refill?

Oh, gee, the bartender
will be back any minute.

Oh, guacamole, I love it.

Well, perhaps we can find
another bar.

Oh, no, no more for me,
one Brandy's my limit.

Oh, now,
that hardly seems civilized.

[Agnes] Well, it takes away
my inhibitions,

so it's better I stop with this.

One is enough.

Well, you know, that's
the way it is with Brandy,

it always looks like more
because of the shape
of the glass.

Well, tell me more
about your home in england.

Pemberly grange,
it's been in the family
for over four centuries.

Ever since Charles I
knighted the first
Earl of dunsbury.

But, um, it's not a large
estate, but it's,
it's very lovely.

The main house is set away
from the Lane, and...

And there are hedges
and lawns and dogs.

Horses.

Oh, it sounds like heaven.

Well, it is,
except for one thing. I...

I've been a very lonely man...
Until now.

Oh, Henry.

Oh, darling.

[Clatters]

[Groans]

Now, don't worry
about that.

I'll take care of that, yes.

Listen, why don't you two go
to the lounge?

I'm sure that
that other bar is open, okay?

Don't worry about this.

I'm so sorry.

Don't worry about it.

[Agnes] Oh, that was so awful.

Gladys.

How did she do?
I couldn't hear it all.

After "Henry, darling," I got
a little guacamole in my ear.

Rose, Rose, I've been
looking all over for you.

Rose, I'm talking to you!

Pardon me,
I don't talk to strangers.

What are you doing?

Packing.

Packing?
Where are you moving to?

We're on a ship.

I'm not moving anywhere.
You are.

You said the marriage
was off, right?

Well, yeah.

Well, yeah.

See, I am not in the habit of
sharing cabins with single men.

I'm no tootsie.

Come on, this is crazy.

Why don't you say, "obey", huh?

Hey, hey,
I've come a long way, baby.

Now you're doing commercials.

I blame this on marlo Thomas.

Marlo Thomas?

I caught you
watching her on merv Griffin.

This women's equality stuff's
got you wacko.

Women are not equal.

I hope not.

Because if women are only equal
to you, I don't want to be one!

What do you expect me
to do with this?

Practice loving, honoring
and respecting it, huh!

Hey, hey, come on, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey.

Okay, cinderella, midnight.

Tooth is off the air.

Yeah, I know.

They just finished playing
"the star-spangled banner."

All right, hey,
I'll see you in the morning.

Uh... can you set that
for a wake-up alarm?

[Footsteps approach]

[Knocking]

Hi.

Hi.

Thanks for showing up,
this means a awful lot to me.

Oh?

Yeah, there's so much
I want to tell you.

Like, you know,
how I always buy flowers
from you

whenever we're in port?

Mm-hmm.

For my aunt?

Well, I don't have an aunt.

Oh, you devil,
they're for your girl?

No. From my girl.

And I'm not joking.

And you know how I left
you those cruise brochures?

Oh, yeah, after reading them,
I just had to buy a ticket.

Well, aren't you starting
to get a message?

Was there supposed
to be a message?

Oh, there sure was.

Tell me... I'd love to hear.

The message is simply this--

[morse code]

Why don't you just put
a funny lampshade on your head?

And leave me alone!

[Morse code continues]

[Julie on pa]
Ladies and gentlemen,
our fun tour of acapulco

will leave the dock area
in minutes.

You know,
I'm really worried about Gladys,

that new boyfriend of hers
is rather strange.

You know, this morning
her bed was full of guacamole.

Oh, my. What?

I told her to forget about him,

that you and I would take her

on the acapulco tour with us.

Sure.

Dear Agnes,
tiger boy and I left early.

Went into town on our own.

Love, Gladys.

Thank you.

Oh, tiger, stop. You mustn't!

[Giggles, squeals]

You're just all animal,
aren't you?

Oh! Ah! [Indistinct]

Oh, hi... you just should go on
without us because...

We've made other... plans!

Isometrics.

What'll we do?

I wouldn't worry, my dear.

She seems quite content.

But, uh... I believe that a tour

of the old Spanish churchyard

would be of secondary interest
to them.

Hey, Isaac, come here.

Could you find a dentist ashore?

Three of 'em.

And they all said
the same thing.

"No es necesario."

"Not necessary."

That's what they said...

Right after they finished with a
lot of heavy Spanish laughter.

They didn't believe me.
The radio in the filling
never made a peep.

Now look, you won't pick up
any radio signals
till this evening,

so why not go
after your foxy lady now?

Oh, let's see, that
gives me four hours to live,

and then I start spouting
"ring around the collar"
commercials again.

[Julie on pa]
We hope you enjoyed
your stay in acapulco.

Our next stop is
the port of Los Angeles.

I tried to explain
to Tony.

I said it's not necessary
for me to say the word "obey."

What's important is that
we respect each other.

What did he say to that?

He said, "I'd respect
you more if you obeyed."

You really miss him, don't you?

Half the time
he drives me crazy,

and the other half of the time
I want to k*ll him.

But he's warm, sweet,
comfortable, you know,
like an old slipper.

Tell him that.

No, I know
my husband, Julie.

Tony would never let me forget
that I begged him to come back.

This time he's gonna have to
meet me halfway.

Think he's gonna do that?

I don't know.

I saw him earlier
up at the pool,

with all those young girls.

He seemed to like it. A lot.

I don't understand why
we haven't met this
gentleman friend of yours.

Well, he's very shy.

Shy?

[Laughing]

Look, all I want
to do is say hello

and take one quick look at him.

And I'm not gonna
leave you alone until I do.

I mean it.

Oh, all right.

He said he would be out here
on the deck someplace.

I'll go find him.

Good.

Uh, excuse me?

Yeah?

Could you do me
a very great favor?

What sort of favor?

Well, uh, I was trying
to learn to play shuffleboard,

and I just, you know, can't seem
to get the knack of it.

Could you just give me
a minute to...

Sure, sure, sure,
be glad to.

Oh, excuse me,
this is my sister, Agnes.

It's nice to meet you.

How do you do?

And this is Henry whitewood.

How do you do?

Excuse us--

Henry white... yes,
you're the Earl of dunsbury.

The captain
told me you were aboard.
It's a real pleasure.

I'm father Brendan Riley
of the Mexican mission.

Father Riley?

It's a reformed mission.

Gladys Johnson
with father Riley?

In a bed full of guacamole?

[Both laugh]

They took the banners out.

[Laughs]

You head over there,
I'll be right back.

Promise?

I promise.

Okay, now's your chance.
Go ahead.

How can I get a girl
to feel romantic
when the sun is shining?

It's been done.
Why do you think there
are so many eskimos?

Anyway, listen, did you send her
the candy and the flowers?

Yeah.

Then go nail it down.
But no jokes.

You're not Milton berle,
you're pitiful Pearl.
Now, come on.

Hi.

Oh. Hi.

Did you get my flowers?

It was quite a surprise.

They didn't explode.

I haven't tried
the candy yet,

but I suppose it's full
of hot peppers.

Oh, come on, Patty,
I can explain
if you just give me a chance.

Please, I don't want you
to think I'm just interested
in playing jokes.

See, I got a filling in here,
and once--

oh, Isaac,
what else can I think?

Come on, follow her.
The important thing
is to keep talking.

[Announcer]
Hoy presentamos El capítulo
"las vacaciones De pepito."

That's not bad,
but you'll have
better luck with her

if you speak English.

That wasn't me.

[Announcer continues in Spanish]

It's probably a Mexican station
on the same frequency.

All right, don't worry.

I'll take care of it.

Thank you.

[Spanish stops]

[Resumes, stops]

[Resumes]

Good evening.

Hi, Henry.

Agnes will be here in a minute.

Yes, well, I'm delighted
you could join us for dinner.

But I'm sorry to take you away
from the good
father tiger Riley.

Oh, no,
I should apologize to you
about my crazy shenanigans.

I understand.

You love your sister very much.

A feeling we both share.

It's a dream come true.

A life with someone
I care for dearly,

and a chance
to restore pemberly grange.

Restore?

Oh, yes, the estate
is quite run down.

As a matter of fact,
I thought I'd have to sell some
of the land to pay back taxes.

But now I can fulfill my trust
and it can all remain intact

as a legacy to my son.

I know Agnes will Cherish it
as I do.

And I promise you her money
will be well spent.

Her money?

Oh, Henry,
Agnes doesn't have any money.

I beg your pardon?

Neither of us has.

This cruise is just
one big splurge

on, on the insurance money
that our mother left us.

I, I see. Uh...

I assumed...

Well, it's my fault entirely.

I have been so obsessed
with my duties and I...

Please believe me,
I am not a fortune hunter.

But I, I vowed if I married
again it would be

to a lady of means that
would help me save dunsbury.

You haven't actually...

Proposed to her?

Perhaps that's just as well.

She would soon find out
that marriage to her
had destroyed your plans

and that would also destroy her.

But life without her, I...

My dear Agnes...

Would you apologize
about dinner?

I, I don't think I'm up to it.

Gladys, I have a feeling
tonight's the night.
[Giggles]

Can you imagine me
lady dunsbury?

It's just like our gal Sunday,
remember?

And lord Henry brinthrope,
england's richest
and handsomest bachelor.

Agnes, uh...
Henry can't make dinner,

so it's just you and me.

Oh, well,
he probably has to call his son.

He usually does about this time.

Oh, Gladys, I never thought life
could be so wonderful.

[Upbeat pop music]

I hope your plan works, doc.

You really think it'll
send Anthony back to his wife?

Oh, believe me,
total exhaustion is the best
cure for playboyitis.

I'll send in some fresh troops
to finish him off.

[Ends]

[Applause]

Nice work.
You're going great.

All the chicks
want to dance with me.

That last one, she was only .

Nineteen!
I got ties older than that.

You want to go
for an older women?

There's a -year-old panting
in your direction.

I gotta get some air.

Oh, you can't quit now,
the night's young.

Yeah, but my feet ain't.

[Upbeat pop music]

How long can he keep going?

Only his cardiologist
knows for sure.

He's gone! It worked!
He couldn't keep up and ran off.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have another job
for some other little darlings.

Oh, a doctor's life,
busy, busy, busy.

I don't think
you'll have any more trouble,
Mrs. Vitelli.

Anthony's gone.
He's probably scouring the ship
for you right now.

But suppose he just went
down to his cabin

and took one of the girls
with him?

Hope you're feeling better,
okay?

How is he?

Oh, he's really down.

He even got another bartender
to take his shift.

He had his heart set on being
with Patty this cruise.

Well, be of good cheer,
kindly Dr. Bricker

has come up with a wonder drug
to cure him.

Uh, doc,
I don't think a wonder drug
is what we need here--

don't say till you see.

Okay, girls.

Wait here.

Oh, friend, you're looking
at this thing all backwards.

A musical tooth is not
a liability, it's a big plus.

Not to Patty.

Oh, there are plenty
of other fish in the sea,

including some remarkably
great wigglers.

Oh, I'm not interested.

And when I told them about your

talented mariachi molars,

they went crazy and insisted
on hearing for themselves.

[Women giggle]

You've got to get
real close to him
to hear it.

[Music playing]

[Women giggle]

Excuse me,
which is Isaac's cabin?

Oh, there it is.

Yeah, but he's not feeling well.
He's really sick.

Yeah, the other bartender
told me.

Oh, poor guy, you know,
I really haven't been
very fair to him.

Well, the least I can do
is try and cheer him up.

Oh, you don't have to do that!

[Women giggling]

Oh. Well, excuse me.
I thought you might be lonely.

Obviously, I was mistaken.

Hey, doc, you know
that wonder drug you prescribed?

I think you just k*lled
the patient.

Is that you, Tony?

Hi.

Oh, hi, Rose.

I thought sure you'd be
at the dance.

I was just on my way.

[Groans]

I'd go, but I only like
the real slow dances.

You remember.

Yeah, I remember.

Well, listen, enjoy, enjoy.

Okay. You don't have
to say "obey."

You mean it?

Yeah.

So we can have the ceremony.

Why?

Tony, if you could say to me
what you just said,
who needs ceremonies?

Look, we both lost our temper.

Let's forget about it
and just be together again, huh?

Good idea.

I mean, two people shouldn't

throw years away just because

one of them was
a little stubborn
and wouldn't say "obey."

[Both laugh]

Tony?

Yeah?

You love me?

[Laughs]

What kind of question is that?

It's a question!

For years we shared
the same bed,
raised four children,

been together through
good times, bad times,

all kinda times, and now,
you're asking me do I love you?

Yeah, that's what I'm asking.
Do you love me?

I guess I do love you.

Hey, hey.

I love you too.

How about that?

How about that?

We're romantic.

[Laughs] Yeah.

Happy anniversary, Rose.

Happy anniversary, Tony.

What is it, honey?

Honey, I'm sorry,
did I hurt you?

No, no, no, it goes away.
Then it comes back.

You wrote her
a letter?

Yeah, I told her there
was never anything between us,

and I have another girl
anyway that I'm engaged to.

So it's finito for sure.

Why would you do
a thing like that?

Pride, I guess.

Plus, writing it helped me

get used to the idea
of losing her.

So there's nothing more
you can do, goph,

why don't you go on
to the dance without me?

Okay.

[Patty] I, i'm, sorry, Brandon.

I... oh, I don't know,
I guess I lost the party mood.

Well, if it was
the crowd that bothered you,

we can continue without them.

I'm just tuckered out.
We didn't miss a rumba.

Oh, we haven't tangoed yet.

Brandon, now, be nice.

That's what I'm trying to be.

Now, go away.

We've had fun,
let's leave it at that.

I could think of
a better way to leave it.

Brandon! Now, stop it!

Brandon, please!

Okay, you heard her!

[Brandon]
Hey, Isaac, I'm sorry.

Are you all right?

If you don't count
the broken jaw, I'm fine.

I think that you've
done just about enough.

So, Mr. Track star,
get running.

Patty, I didn't mean to--

good night!

Is everything all right?

My filling.
He knocked out my filling.

Oh, that's terrible!

No, that's great!

Look, I think you should
put some ice on that tooth.

Come into my cabin.

That's even greater.

You know, now maybe
I'll get a chance to tell you

what I've been
trying to tell you for days.

Yeah, maybe you will.

[Isaac] You know, they say
that Brandy also does wonders
for a tooth.

Well, I guess Henry must
have had some packing to do.

I suppose.

Oh, neither one of us
really took it seriously.

It was just a love boat romance.

There'll be other men.

Oh, well, of course.

I mean, wasn't I silly, anyway,
thinking I was gonna
be lady dunsbury.

[Laughs]

We'll both look back on this
and have a good laugh.

He was just being nice to me.

He really was so nice.

And I do love...

Hedges and lawns
and dogs and horses.

We were just ships
that passed in the night.

Like the Spanish armada.

Oh, aggie, just let it all out.

Oh, don't be silly, Gladys,
there's nothing to let out.

I've practically
forgotten him already.

Good evening, ladies.

Oh! Oh, hello, Henry.

Oh, I'm so glad you found us,

because I was afraid that
we'd miss each other tomorrow,

and I wanted to thank you
for such a lovely time.

Well, I've just been talking
to my son.

It seems there may be
a new lady of the manor
at pemberly grange.

Oh, well, isn't that nice?
Congratulations.

Well,
that may be a bit premature.

You see,
I haven't asked her yet.

I'm going to now.

Will you...
Will you have me, Agnes?

I love you very much.

Henry--

my son and I also agreed
to sell what land we can.

This will enable us to make
the manor house comfortable

for its lovely new mistress.

New mistress.

It seems my boy
is brighter than I am.

Uh, I thought we needed
the land, but he said...

Having love again
at pemberly grange is a more
important legacy than land.

You, uh, you haven't answered
my question, Agnes.

If you'll excuse me.

I'll go look for father Riley.

There may be a job
in this for him.

Good night, milady.

Milady.

Oh, Henry,
is it really possible?

I do hope your son likes me.

He's a whitewood,
he can't do anything else.

Anyway it seems he's not all
that much brighter than I am.

After all, I found you.

Oh!

Well, how you doing?
You all right, Isaac?

You didn't lose a tooth,
did you?

Oh, just a part of one.

But the tooth fairy left
a little Brandy under my pillow
for it.

Look at this,
it's Isaac's filling,

I'm gonna hang this
on a necklace.

Just think,
once that could talk.

[High-pitched voice]
You're terrific, Patty.

[Normal voice]
Just a silly joke.

Sounds more like
a paid political announcement.

Mm.

[Laughs]

Boy, I sure am glad you
and Mrs. Vitelli
got back together.

Well, I finally decided
she doesn't have to obey me.

Respect is more important
nowadays.

Good thinking.

Oh, excuse me.

Tony, I need ten bucks
to tip the maid.

You got it.

Honey, and take this
and get us a taxi,

and don't forget
to thank the captain.

Thank the captain.

And when we get home,
you know, I don't want you
just running off,

'cause you promised
to move the piano
onto the sun porch,

and then I want to hang
those terrific masks
we bought in acapulco.

You got it, baby.

Okay, good.

Now if somebody could only fix
it so I don't have to obey her.

I trust you enjoyed
your cruise, Mr. Whitewood.

That, my dear captain,
is the understatement
of the year.

Then I hope we see you again.

Only if you
take dogs and horses.

[All laugh]

Did she say, "dogs and horses"?

Oh, she can't hear you, sir.

She's got guacamole in her ears.

[All laugh]

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Thank you for sailing with us.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Guacamole?