14x01 - The Wheel Deal/The Buster Report

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day, when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view ♪

(laughing)

♪ And I say, hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen to
your heart, listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together and make things
better by working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message,
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ Place to start ♪

♪ And I say, hey ♪

Hey!

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we can learn to work
and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

Hey!

ARTHUR (on TV):
Hey, D.W.!

Hey!

Whoa!... (loud thud)

(letters shattering)

BUSTER:
Buster Baxter here,

reporting for Lakewood
Elementary Sports News.

In ten days, Alan "Brain" Powers
is going to face

Mighty Mountain's
Sam "Slam Dunk" Scarborough

in the Elwood City Baskets
for Charity competition.

Francine, what do you think
of his chances?

A banana?

That's the best you
could do for a microphone?

Hey, times are tough.

Plus, this is
% compostable.

So, is Brain
going to win?

Slam Dunk definitely
has a height advantage,

but Brain's
a real competitor.

Not only does he have
terrific aim,

but he's cool
under pressure.

This player just
never buckles,

even if everything depended
on this one shot--

the very fate of the world,
life as we know it...

Do you mind?

See? What did I tell you?

What happened
to your microphone?

(muffled):
Mmm, technical difficulties.

That's a wrap!

Hey, Brain, want to come
to the Sugar Bowl with us?

No, thanks.

Our library could really use
that money.

I better practice some more.

Okay, this shot is
for a brand new computer

in the reading room.

With Brain sh**ting
baskets for us,

we're almost
guaranteed to win.

BUSTER:
Yep.

What could
possibly go wrong?

BRAIN:
Ow!

I think we're
about to find out.

DR. HIRSCH:
Well, the good news is
nothing's broken.

The bad news is that one leg
has a sprained ankle.

If it's a grade one lateral
ligamentous injury,

I could be back on my feet
in a few days.

I'm sorry, Alan, but it's
a grade two sprain.

And you have a torn knee
ligament in your other leg.

You're going to need an
air cast for your ankle,

a knee immobilizer and
some physical therapy.

But for the next week, you do
get this nifty set of wheels.

(sighs)

BUSTER:
I'm really,
really sorry.

I thought for sure
the peel went in the can.

It's okay, Buster.

I know it was
an accident.

I'm just upset that
I won't be able to play

in the basketball fundraiser.

BUSTER:
Yeah, we don't stand a chance
against Mighty Mountain now.

BRAIN:
What are they
raising money for?

Save the Elwood City Squirrels.

Aw, what a waste.

Well, see you later, Brain.

(screams)

Sorry!

So, you play
basketball?

Huh? Yeah.

I was actually supposed to
be in a competition, but...

that's not going to happen.

Why? 'Cause you're
not on two legs?

Tell that to my
basketball team.

You're on a basketball team?

Yup.

The Wheel Warriors.

Best wheelchair basketball
team in Elwood City.

We're - this season.

Want to sh**t
some hoops with me?

Maybe some other time.

Sure.

Oops.

Ow!

Sorry!

(giggling)

I'm still getting used
to this thing.

I'll draw you
a schematic.

It's two rotational points
on a single axis

so you have to push
one wheel forward,

while pushing the other back.

And then you can turn.

Your understanding of
physics is impressive.

I was born without
the use of my legs,

not my brain.

Um, actually, I'd love
to hoot some shoops.

I mean...

(giggles)
I know what you mean.

I'm Lydia.

Alan.

But my friends
call me Brain.

Okay, Brain.

Join me tomorrow for a
friendly game of HORSE.

Every time you miss a shot,
you get a letter.

First player to spell
HORSE loses.

I should warn you,
I'm pretty good.

Great.

Maybe I'll be able to learn
some pointers.

"H".

My arms must be a little tired.

"O".

"R".

Would you like to play using
the full Latin name for horse--

equus ferus caballus?

It would give you
more chances.

I don't get it.

That's the worst
I've ever thrown.

LYDIA:
Don't worry about it.

You're just not used to sh**ting

from this different height
and angle.

And not being able to use
your whole body.

BRAIN:
Something tells me that
we'd be here for hours

before you ever got an "H".

LYDIA:
Hey, this basketball competition
you were supposed to be in,

was it a game?

No, just free throws.

The winner of the tournament
gets a big donation

to the charity
of their choice.

So? You could still be in it.

But you saw the way
I was sh**ting.

I'm awful now.

I wouldn't say awful.

Inept, maybe.

Possibly clumsy,
uncoordinated, graceless...

All right already.

But you do have a secret w*apon.

I do?

Yep. A great tutor.

Here.

I call it
"Lydia's Basket Case."

My head is not that big.

We start tomorrow
after school.

And bring your A-game!

(frustrated sigh)

Increase your
release height.

Remember, you're two feet lower
than you normally are.

Again!

... ...

More arm strength
means more baskets.

C'mon, Brain!

Think of the library!

Do it for Virgil!

Do it for Proust!

That's it!

Better on the velocity,
but aim lower.

centimeters
is your sweet spot.

Again!

LYDIA:
See, the ball's velocity
when it leaves your hands

is the result of...

BRAIN:
...three different velocity
vector components.

It all makes perfect sense now!

You sure you don't want me to
write this on a piece of paper?

No. This way
I won't lose it.

Just don't press so hard
next time; it tickles.

In that case...

(laughing)

Stop!

Quit squirming!

You're ruining the
Pythagorean theorem!

What's wrong with me?!

Nothing.

That was really good.

Your speed and angle
were perfect.

You just missed, that's all.

Now...

I know... again.

Actually,
I was going to ask

if you wanted to get
something to eat.

I'm starving.

I know the perfect place.

All our ice cream is made from
milk from a local dairy farm,

and we hand-pick a lot
of the ingredi...

Huh?

I never noticed that before.

That's a pretty big drop.

Oh, yeah.

The corner of
Elm and Maple?

It's pretty infamous
with me and my teammates.

Excuse me, could you...

Hey, we could use a...

What's with these people?

Can't they see we need help?

I know, but they
might be busy.

Anyway, you got to know
who and how to ask.

She doesn't look
like she's in a rush.

Excuse me, ma'am,

would you mind helping my
friend and me down the curb?

I'll show you
exactly what to do.

Certainly, dear.

Thanks a lot!

Thank you, ma'am.

Here it is,
my mom's ice cream shop.

I guarantee you will not
be disappointed.

Uh-oh, the doorway's
too narrow for me.

Well, it looks
terrific.

BRAIN:
I'm really sorry about that.

I never knew our shop wasn't
wheelchair accessible.

Lots of places aren't.

FRANCINE:
Brain!

I've been looking
all over for...

Hey! You're Lydia.

I saw you play with
the Wheel Warriors.

You were amazing.

Thanks.

I'd give you an autograph
but my hands are ketchup-y.

Listen, if you're not feeling
up to the competition,

I can take over.

I mean, I know I'm not as good
at sh**ting as you, but...

Don't worry
about a thing.

He's going to cream
Mighty Mountain.

I'm his coach.

Oh, great!

Well, see you tomorrow.

Tomorrow?!

I forgot that it's tomorrow!

I haven't looked at
my calendar in days.

All I've been doing
is playing basketball.

And that's all you
should have been doing.

Here. Trash can.

Three points.

See?

Much you have learned,
O Big-Headed One.

(crowd booing and hissing)

What?

(cheering)

(whistle blowing)

The squirrels
will be so happy!

If only Brain had been able
to raise that money.

Yeah.

The reading room's computer
became so outdated

they just had to tear
the whole library down.

(gasps)

It's neck and neck!

Brain and Slam Dunk
both have baskets.

Wait! Make that for Brain!

Francine, comments?

I think your microphone
is melting.

(buzzer sounds)

You're doing great.

Just stay focused and
keep your rhythm up.

(cheering)

BRAIN:
Oh, no, we're still
four points behind.

(buzzer sounds)

Beat that-- ha!

I have to make five
baskets in one minute.

I can't do it.

But I can.

(cheering)

Lydia! Lydia!

Lydia!

I like the new door.

Plenty of room now.

Well, it was the
least we could do

for the girl who won all
that money for our library.

What are you
talking about?

It was all you.

I just helped
at the end.

Anyway, basketball actually
isn't my strong suit.

It's chess.

No way.

Seriously!

I'm nationally ranked.
Want to play?

Well, okay.

But I should warn you,
I'm very good.

Oh, yeah?

Where have
I heard that before?

And now...

I am Kaitlyn.

I am like Lydia because I am in
a wheelchair just like her.

GIRL:
Kaitlyn is my sister.

KAITLYN:
We were born on the same date.

We're twins.

The next word is...

"Parenthood."

KAITLYN:
Today my sister Tabbitha

is helping me
with my spelling words.

Number is "bumpy."

KAITLYN:
Well, I can't walk
because I was born this way.

It doesn't bother me.

It's like I'm a normal person.

And she's awesome.

Would you like to see
how I use a walker?

I can move

and I can walk to places.

I am very determined.

Ready?

KAITLYN:
Today we are going to the beach.

Okay, I'm going to plop
you on the wall.

Now we'll get
your shoes off.

KAITLYN:
We're at Revere Beach right now.

I don't stay home;
I can get around perfectly.

You have to push yourself
with the wheels.

Me, my sister, my dad
and Nick are here

and we're going to play
in the sand.

Let's make a mansion.

Wow.

It looks beautiful.

Wow.

I'll just do
the magic tap.

We're getting pizza
from Bianchi's Pizza.

We're going to order
cheese pizza.

Yay, pizza! Yay!

It's delicious.

I don't care what anybody thinks

because I am determined to do
what I was born to do.

And now...

History is full of great
people-- heroes and inventors.

But I keep thinking
about Herodotus.

They say he's the
"father of history."

And that is the
Pythagorean theorem.

Okay, now we'll sit around
for an hour, then lunch.

Why are we going
to just sit around?

Well, Herodotus, because
we have nothing to study.

Why don't we study history?

"History"?

Yeah, you know, all the things
that happened in the past.

Battles! Kings!
How cities were founded!

All that cool stuff.

Hmm, not a bad idea.

Class, get out your
history tablets.

(groaning)

Actually, Mr. Ratburnus,

they haven't been written yet.

But I'll go write
the first one.

That boy is going to get
an alpha-plus.

Why couldn't it be "Herodotus,
the father of comic books?"

Arthur, eyes on your
history book, please.

(sighs)
Thanks, Herodotus.

Hey!

RATBURN:
I believe your next assignment
is one you'll find admirable.

I want everyone to do an oral
report on someone you admire.

Find out more about them.

And then tell us
why you admire them.

Dibs on Bionic Bunny!

How can Mr. Ratburn say that
Bionic Bunny isn't real?

He's on TV.

TV is realer than anything.

I'm doing Pal.

He's loyal,
he's friendly,

he always wags his tail
when I come home.

I admire that.

Pal!

I should have thought of that.

Your karate teacher?

Aw, that's perfect.

I should have thought of that.

I have one
that's even better.

I'm doing a fireman.

Only she's not a man,
she's a lady.

Aw...

I wanted to do a fireman who
wasn't a man but was a lady.

I've got them all beat.

Guaranteed A.

ALL:
Who? Who?

Mr. Ratburn.

ALL:
Wow.

Oh, why didn't
I think of Ratburn?

I have the best person of all.

He's really funny.

And he's outgoing, and...

Argh! You're k*lling me!

This is the person I
should be doing a report on.

Who is it?

You.

Aw, I wanted to do a...

Wait.

Did you say me?

A report about me.

Can you believe it?

I'm going to make sure
George's report

is the coolest
one of all of them.

What about your report?

Have you decided
who you're going to do?

Eh, that's just homework;
this is important.

Hey, George!
Ready to get started?

Well, I have a few things
I need to do.

What are you talking about?
This is homework!

What's more important
than homework?

Come on,
no time to lose.

I have lots
to show you.

(making trilling sound)

Now I want to show you
something really exciting.

BUSTER:
See? My own sandwich!

It's called
"The Buster."

(sighs)

My report's going
to be so great.

I talked to
Betsy today.

Did you know that she helped put
out the fire at the pet store?

The kittens!

This should be all of them.

Oops...

One more...

And Horace!

(coughs)

Oh, thank you,
fireperson Betsy.

That's amazing!

I was talking to
my karate teacher

and he told me about this time
when he was at the bank...

How about you,
George?

Find out anything
interesting about Buster?

Sure, lots of stuff.

Just you wait, this report's
going to be better

than any of them.

This report's going to be worse
than any of them.

I haven't stopped a robbery
or saved a hamster from a fire.

I haven't done anything
impressive at all.

I don't even know
why George chose me.

Lots of reasons.

Name one.

Uh...

See?

Pal distracted me.

Let me think.

You're funny.

You tell great jokes.

Jokes! That's it!

Thanks, Arthur.

BINKY:
"What do sea
monsters eat?"

That's right.

That's all you
have to say.

Then I say,
"Fish and ships."

Get it?

What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.

Okay?

Uh, I don't think so.

Why? What's the matter?

I don't want to sound like
I don't know about sea monsters.

Why don't you ask me?

No one's doing
a report about you.

Come on.

Look, I'll give you
my dessert.

Fudge brownie!

Eh, I'm trying to cut down
on the sugar snacks.

What else you got?

Hey! Bologna sandwich!

(sighs)
Deal.

Hey, Buster.

George!

Just in time!

Better get your pad
and pencil ready.

BUSTER:
Hey, Arthur.

How's that report on Pal going?

Great.

I'm just up to
the part where Pal...

You know, one thing
I've noticed about Pal,

he is one lazy dog.

In fact, Pal is so lazy,

the other day I saw him chasing
a parked car.

How do you chase a parked car?

You're not writing.

Write that down.

Pal is so lazy...

BINKY:
Hey, guess what
I just found out.

Mr. Ratburn played
in a rock band.

The Ratburn Rats.

ARTHUR and GEORGE:
Wow!

Did you have
a question?

Um, no.

You're sure?

You're sure you don't have
a question?

Oh, right.

A question, right.

(sighs)

What was it?

Oh, right-- why do sea monsters
eat fish and ships?

I hope you guys know
that you're ruining

the story of my life.

Have you seen Pal
chasing parked cars?

BITZI:
Buster said
he'd be back soon.

He had to get a few things
to help your report.

I'm sure
he won't be long.

Come in and have a snack.

Ta-da!

George just left,
honey.

His mom called.

But...
(sighs)

Okay.

See you tomorrow.

His mom says he has to stay in
and work on his report.

(squeaking)

And I spent three allowances
on all this stuff.

Don't worry.

I gave George lots of
information for his report.

I even gave him that DVD
of pictures of you.

(coughing)

Are you okay?

According to Buster's mom,

Buster slept with a blankie
he called his "bwankie poo."

(laughter)

(screams)

Oh no!

I can't let George
give this report.

(gasps)

This will be perfect.

George!

Here! Look!

I stayed up all night
working on it.

Your report.

But I already have my report.

Not like this one.

Just listen:
"Buster Baxter is well known

"as one of the funniest guys
in town,

but there's something you may
not know about him."

Hey, how about those
sea monsters, huh?

You know what they eat?

Fish and ships!

(laughter)

PET STORE OWNER:
Someone's robbed the pet shop.

They won't get away with this.

May I?

(barking, squealing)

(brakes screech)

Officer, arrest those thieves.

What do you think?

Is that a report
or is that a report?

Um, thanks, Buster, but I think
I'll stick with the one I wrote.

♪ I'm a sewer rat, sewer rat,
sewer rat, sewer rat ♪

♪ Sewer rat! ♪

♪ I'm a sewer rat. ♪

(sighs)

To tell the truth,

I thought this report was
nothing but an easy A.

But Mr. Ratburn turned out to be
the kind of guy I really admire.

The End.

Yes, well, thank you, Binky.

Let's see, who's next?

George? Are you ready?

Yep.

GEORGE:
My report is about
Buster Baxter.

His mom gave me some
pictures of him

in case you don't know
what he looks like.

(laughter)

There are lots of things

about Buster Baxter
to admire.

He's friendly.

He's funny.

One time he even solved
a mystery when it turned out

Mrs. MacGrady cooked the
quarters into the brownies.

But did you know that he helps
maintain the community garden?

He even donated tomatoes
to a soup kitchen.

But the thing I really admire
Buster for

is that he never complains.

He helps his mom
around the house.

He has asthma,
but he takes his medication

and never lets it stop him.

Oh, and he plays the tuba.

The End.

(applause)

Is it over?

Excellent report,
George.

That's it?

But that was all just
the normal stuff about me.

What's admirable
about that?

I guess you're just an admirable
guy without even trying.

I am?

MR. RATBURN:
Who's next?

Buster?
Are you ready?

(gulps)
Um...

I see your homework skills
are less than admirable.

I know who I'm going to do
my report about, though.

Someone who's admirable

because he's good at finding the
admirable things about people.

George!

You can find Arthur books
and lots of other books, too,

at your local library.

♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

♪ Hey! ♪

♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

♪ Hey! ♪