Lamp Life (2020)

[bunniefuu]

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

We saw the lamp in the antique store,
and that led me here to you.

Wow! That's quite an adventure.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay, let me get this straight.

A giant claw comes down and saves you,

Andy gives you to Bonnie,
and then a fork leads you to Bo?

Yeah, more or less.

(BLOWS RASPBERRY AND LAUGHS)
That's nothing!

-BO: Whoa.
-WOODY: Whoa!

Hey, Bo, why don’t you tell him
your story?

-Oh, boy.
-Oh, yeah!

Bo, what happened in all that time?
Do you ever miss the lamp?

Ah, the lamp. Girls, do we miss the lamp?

-(BLEATING)
-(LAUGHTER)

That bad, huh?

So, after we left Molly,
we went to the new family.

They had a little girl.

And she loved us.

MAN : Okay. Here it is.

-WOMAN : Aw. Look at the pretty lamp.
-(BABY COOING)

-MAN : And... Ta-da!
-WOMAN : Aw.

BO: We had some nice moments.

In a lamp kind of way.

(GIGGLES)

BO: Fairytales, slumber parties,
hide and seek...

Oh, ba-ba.

BO: Playtimes were great.

When they actually happened.

-WOMAN : No!
-(GASPS)

WOMAN : Put that down. This is not a toy.

-No, no, no.
-GIRL : No, no, no.

BO: But overall, life on a baby lamp
isn’t that exciting.

(CRYING)

BO: Shh.

MAN : Honey, she’s gotta cry it out.

WOMAN : Ugh.

-(CRYING CONTINUES)
-BO: Or, maybe, too exciting.

GIRL : Mine!

BO: See, the thing with babies is...

WOMAN : Whoa!

BO: They can love you...

WOMAN : No touch.

-(GURGLING)
-BO: ...a little too much.

(WOMAN SIGHS)

MAN : (CHUCKLES) That oughta do it.
There we go.

BO: We got put up.

(GIRLS CRYING)

WOMAN : Shh!

MAN : They gotta cry it out.

(CRYING CONTINUES)

BO: We still tried to get playtime.

-(GIRLS GIGGLING)
-BO: A little risky, but still worth it.

-(CLATTERING)
-GIRLS: Oops.

-GIRL : I think it’s too small.
-GIRL : It's fine.

BO: Though the absolute biggest challenge
was the hazardous working conditions.

-(SMOKE ALARM BEEPING)
-(GIRLS GASP)

-(SCREAMING)
-Fire! Fire! Fire!

(SIGHS)

(BLEATING)

BO: But kids grow up fast.

Ugh. This is your baby lamp.

-I don’t want it.
-Stop!

-You stop!
-You stop!

-Mom!
-Mommy!

-MAN : Ai, ai, ai, girls, I told you...
-WOMAN : They gotta cry it out.

-(MAN SIGHS)
-(DOOR CLOSES)

GIRLS: Give it away.

I'm too big for that.

(BABY SPEAKING)

BO: Pretty soon,
you’re in the donation box.

Which took us
on quite the unexpected journey.

WOMAN : Hmm.

MAN : What? It’s a baby lamp?

-(LAUGHTER)
-WOMAN : What’s he gonna do with that?

(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(RETCHES)

(WIND HOWLING)

(MAN GASPS)

(GROANS)

-(MEOWS)
-(BO SCREAMS)

-(BLEATING)
-(CAT WHINES)

(GROANS)

(SIGHS)

(BLEATING)

BO: As you know,
appliances have a shelf-life...

-(BLEATING)
-...and we were definitely not on a shelf.

And then,

just like that,

we were settled.

Safe and sound.

Life was so simple.

No breaks, or rips, or slobber, no trash.

And I thought, "Hey, we’re good."

We’re good.

-(CAT PURRING SOFTLY)
-(BO SIGHS)

Even if a little stuck.

(CAT WHINES)

BO: Till one day...

(DOOR OPENS)

BOY : Whoa! Cool! Look at all this stuff!

WOMAN : Okay. Look with your eyes,
and not your hands.

BOY : Look at this!
GIRL : I wanna see!

BOY : How does this work?

(OBJECTS CLATTERING)

BOY AND GIRL : Sorry.

WOMAN : Okay.
How about we go to the playground?

-BOY : Yes! Playground!
-GIRL : Yeah!

BOY AND GIRL : Playground! Playground!

WOMAN : Playground. Out the door.
Let's go. Let's go. Here we go.

BO: I realized... The playground.

Kids, everywhere, all the time,
unlimited playtime.

We didn’t need the lamp.

We could be with kids again and be toys.

We just had to get off the lamp
and out of the antique store.

We said goodbye to lamp life
and initiated the escape plan.

(GIGGLE MCDIMPLES GROANS)

-(BO CHUCKLING)
-(BLEATING)

High-five! Or one.

BO: We took what we needed
and left the rest behind.

(BLEATING)

(BO GROANS)

Eat glass, dummy!

BO: Then we took down the security system.

WOODY: Wait, wait.

There is no security system
in the antique store.

-Well, not anymore.
-(BLEATING)

(BLEATING)

-(SMOKE ALARM BEEPING)
-(SIREN WAILING)

(BLEATING)

(LAUGHS)

We're off to be lost toys!

(BO AND GIGGLE WHOOPING)

(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)

BO: A whole new adventure!

Playtime, all the time!

BOY : Whee! Let's fly!

(GIGGLE MCDIMPLES EXCLAIMING AND LAUGHING)

-I love it! So good! Never gets old.
-(WOODY AND BO LAUGH)

Whoa, Bo. That's incredible.
That all happened?

Yeah.

Well, more or less.

-(LAUGHTER)
-(BLEATING)

(CHUCKLES)

(GROANS)

GIGGLE: Oh, yeah!

-WOODY: Whoa!
-(BO LAUGHS)