02x02 - Federated resources

[bunniefuu]

It's alive!

¤ This is how I dance
when I'm not wearing underpants ¤

¤ Nothing I like more than to dance,
and I'm not gonna wear no pants ¤

¤ You can't make me... ¤

J. K. Rowling.

- Cor blimey, are you an angel?
- I am from the future.

In years' time you will be
a best-selling children's book author...

whose net worth is more
than one billion American dollars.

I had an idea about a boy wizard.

No. Your books will be
about a magical raccoon.

He has an afro,
his name is Squiggles...

and he sh**t pixie dust
out of his bunghole.

Thank you.
I'll start right away.

OK, little girl,
pick any pet you'd like.

Thanks.

What are you doing in here,
Mr. Kitty Cat?

A space time vortex opened up
on my home planet, Thundera...

and I suddenly found myself on Earth...

where cats apparently
don't share the same rights as humans.

You're so cute! I choose you.

I can't wait for show and tell.

¤ Vicky has cooties,
Vicky has cooties ¤

Stop it, Billy.

Vicky does not have cooties.

Anyone else? Anyone else?

Come on, I got nine lives
and a whole can of whoo-pass.

Bad! Bad Mr. Kitty Cat!

Fine, fine. I overreacted.
Sorry, everybody.

Sorry, that one's on me.

Please stop that.

This is my new pet.

His name is Mr. Kitty Cat,
and I got him at the pound.

Actually, my name is Lion-o,
leader of the Thundercats.

- I'm the chosen one.
- Lame.

Come on, Vicky!
Aren't we still friends?

- B-F-F.
- No.

- Vicky!
- Go to hell!

Don't worry, Lion-o.
We'll find you a home.

Miss Prissy Pants,
stop fussing with your bow.

This bow sucks!
And my name is Lion-o...

Leader of the Thundercats,
sworn to...

Oopsie,
grouchy kitties don't get any tuna.

I better get some frickin' tuna.

- Yes?
- Because your wife was a bitch?

Because she was a bitch. Yes.

There you go.
One shaved head.

Great! Let's make the carpet
match the drapes.

Margaret. Sarah.

A pony! A pony! Yay, a pony!

Only one of you gets the pony.
The other one gets a whipping.

Now let's see those report cards.

The British are coming!
The British are coming!

A shortcut.

Here, Clifford! Here, boy!

No, Clifford, no!

Bad dog, Clifford!
Bad dog!

Clifford.

You know I've never done
a neutering before?

Just do your best.

Now live from
the Shady Acres Nursing Home...

the legendary
Evel Knievel's greatest stunt ever...

only on Pay-Per-View.

It's Moses! He's back.

God has blessed me...

with ten irrefutable
Commandments for living.

Is there anything on there about
not pushing your religion on other people?

- No.
- Didn't think so.

Number one.

He who smelt it, dealt it.

What's so funny?

Stop it. Stop laughing.

Hey, Björk, Björk.

Hey, Mork. Nanoo.

Hey, dork.

New York.

Quark!

Tour?

Zork.

Pork.

A fork? Where the fork?
Need a fork.

There a spork. Spork, spork.

There the Orc!

Orc!

What kept you, honey?
Dinner's waiting.

Get the hell off my back, woman!

Can I get a moment of f*cking peace?

Yeah. Now just like that.
Now spank me and call me daddy.

- Mein Kampf!
- Sieg heil!

Achtung! Achtung!

Hello?

Douche.

I walked into a door.

Well, then, can I interest you
in our line of Nerf doors?

What about stairs?
She's gonna need some Nerf stairs, too.

Good morning. What are
we gonna do today, Corey Feldman?

Same thing we do every day, Corey Haim.

We save the world.

Let's go start the day. Yeah!

This just in.

President Bush's daughters
are missing in action...

after the helicopter carrying them
to a USO tour event...

crashed in the Brazilian rain forest.

The m*llitary released the following
videotape just prior to the crash.

It is a party!

My dad's the President.

Miss Bush, please!
I can't see! Look out!

Two presidential daughters.
That's one for each of us.

Feld-dog, let's roll.

- Coordinates are locked in.
- Let's punch it.

Let's go, go, go, go!

This is tight!
This is tight!

And that's what would it be like
if we had the Corey van and the Corey jet.

Listen to me.
We should have Corey rocket packs.

Corey, I got an idea for you.

How about a nice, tall glass
of shut the f*ck up?

Barkeep.
Nice frosty cola right here.

Two straws, please.

- We don't serve your kind here.
- Our kind?

You mean Americans?

No, I mean anyone
who's ever been on the cover...

of a teen magazine
like Buff, Tiger b*at...

Teen b*at,
Cosmo Girl, J- ...

Boy, did you guys pick
the wrong two Coreys.

Guys. Listen.

We don't want any trouble
and I don't think you do, either, so...

To the contrary,
trouble is what you now have...

because we are giving it to you.

Orientation of Sexual...

Wait! Wait.

Just wait a second.

Now we're gonna tear it up.

Lost Boys style.

My ear!

That wasn't...

Gotcha!

Thanks for helping us, douche...

Screech.

The location
of the Bush daughters is here.

And now I must return
to my Muay Thai kickbox training.

Why would you help us?

Because I, too, am a former teen idol.

No. Actually, you were more
like a second third banana...

on a B-rated kids' show,
but hey, whatever you say.

What the hell is this place?

Is this the place?
Could this be the place?

I'm going in either way, so...

Love shack, baby!

- Presidential babes.
- We're here to rescue you.

- Rescue us?
- You can go straight to hell!

Yeah, we're finally free!
Free to party!

We're never going home.

Look, Feld-dog, if we can't bring
them home, we can't be heroes.

Well, Haim, looks like we've got
to rely on our one true skill.

You're not talking about the thing
we do with our taints, are you?

No, Corey. Acting.

Though Corey Haim and Corey Feldman
couldn't be here today...

I want to thank them
for bringing my precious daughters home.

I hereby declare
that anyone who hates the Coreys...

also hates America.

Feld-dog, what happens
if they find the real Bush twins, man?

Fat chance.

Dad?

Damn you to hell,
Corey Haim and Corey Feldman.

My dad's the President.

I'm gonna get you buried in oil...

and then I'm gonna have
my daddy inv*de you!

My dad will get you hurt.

Yeah, how'd you like to have
your ass kicked by Halli Burton...

or Halliblurton?

Think, Jenna,
we're like old apples...

tied up to a bag of sh*t.

It's dark.

All right, all right.

I got to go to the bathroom.

Eat my air!

Look at me go!