05x12 - Casablankman

[bunniefuu]

[ Thunder crashing ]

[ Drilling, sawing ]

[ Electricity crackling ]

It's alive!

[ Laughs maniacally ]

Now, this is pod racing!

You'll never get me again,
butthole!

sl*ve boy no more!

Eat your [ Bleep ] salad.

Look! We finally made it!

The legendary Pyraminxes!

They must be full of treasure!

[ All scream ]

Penis puzzle! You better keep
your mouth off it, Reynaldo!

It's a snake, you jackass!

Rubik the amazing cube
can help us/annoy us

with his cutesy
' s-cartoon voice!

Give me that!
Boys have better spatial
reasoning than girls!

I'd be angry
at that sexist comment

if it wasn't a proven
scientific fact backed up

by years of academic research!

And done!

Rubik, here to help!

Ugh, that voice
is like getting

a**l sexed
in the ear canal!

But first, Rubik
been dying to ask--

why did you turn Rubik back
into lifeless puzzle last time?

Oh, uh...we had to get you
through customs.

That was three days ago!

Do you know where Rubik's spirit

goes when you jumble
Rubik's colors?

A dark, cold Neverland
of hopelessness--

Damn it, Rubik! What do
you want, an apology blowjob?

Do something!

Rubik, here to help!

[ Laser fire ]

[ Screams ]

Oh, no! No!

[ Dog barking ]

Ohh, my anus!

Do it, Rubik. End his pain!

Rubik, here to help!

Oh, Reynaldo!
He's in a better place.

A place without is-thay

[ Bleep ] licker-cay.

Look out!
Whoa!

I don't know
which way to run!

I have no spatial reasoning!

Rubik, here to help.

Aah! My seeing parts!

Whoa!

R-Rubik? Rubik?

Oh, there you are.

I'll bring you back, Rubik.

Friendless nerd kids solve you

blindfolded all the time.

I've seen it on Youtube

when I get bored
of skateboard accidents.

[ Whistling ]

Hey!

What? Oh, is this not cool?

I-I thought it was cool.

I-I'm sor--
I-I thought it was cool.

[ Rustling ]

Is this better?

Are we cool now?

A-are we cool now?

[ Siren wails ]

[ Vehicle doors open ]

[ Gasping ]

You--you all stood there
and did nothing.

You did nothing!

Back off, psycho!
Release that beautiful soul!

Yeah! Sport hunting
is m*rder,

you sick son of a bitch!

Hey -- hey, guys,
this is all totally legit.

I've got my permits.

Skinned them head
to toe just for kicks.

I'll bet you feel like
a real big sh*t, don't you?

Don't you?!
Listen, guys.

This is just my vacation, okay?

I'm not looking for any trouble.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!

No, don't tou--aah!

Come here. There you go.

Come here. Yeah, there you go.

That guy's gone now.

Look at him. He's filthy.

Aww, shh, shh, shh.

We're gonna make you all better.

That's right.

And there you go!

Go on, boy! Go! Run and be free!

I don't understand
why anyone would hurt

such an innocent creature.

[ Snake hisses ]

[ Giggling ]

Are you having
a good time, Pinocchio?

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, this is great.

[ Moans ]

Oh, you should ask before
you stick a finger in there!

That wasn't a finger.

This is [ Bleep ] Terrible.

Klingon ship approaching.

Man the Phasers, Mr. Sulu.

Yes, captain.

[ Electricity powers down ]

We've lost power!

Mr. Spock, quickly,
Tricoder reading.

[ Trilling ]

Uhura, scanners!

[ Whistling ]

Chekov, red alert, red alert!

Rrrr-eeee! Wrrr-eeee!

Dramatic battle music now!

[ All vocalizing dramatically ]

Scotty, monitor's down.

Give me a klingon ship now!

Sulu, phasers, now!

Bzzshh! Bzzshh! Bzzshh!

Should we fire torpedoes?

Not yet.

Pizza? Check.

La-z-boy? Check.

Entertainment?

Checkmate!

Skating on top
of this skyscraper's

a great idea, bros!

Here comes the double kick
flip--whoa!

I'm falling!
Great scott!

Everybody, relax.

He had a scare. I saved him.

He's gonna be fine.

Whoa! It worked, bros!

I got supe'd!

All: [ Chanting ]
We got supe'd!

We got supe'd!

[ Chuckles ] You got what?

What does he--I got what?

Hey, check it out--my
dad's g*n.

Great Scott!

What were you guys thinking?

Guys! I got the whole thing!

Let's put it on YouTube!
Yeah! So epic!

Hold on. You set me up?

All: [ Chanting ]
We got supe'd!

Oh, hell, no!
Give me that camera.

Oh, someone help!
It's gonna blow!

Oh, come on!

I'm not happy, but I'm here.
Quickly, Superman!

There's not a moment to lose!
Yeah!

Looks like you're gonna have
to save me, Superman!

Really? It's up to me? Okay.

How, may I ask, did you
get strapped to a b*mb?

I don't know.

I think Lex Luger did it.

Oh, Lex Luger did it?

The wrestler? He did this? Wow.

I mean, I usually
fight Lex Luthor

but that guy sounds really bad.

Hurry! It's ticking down!
Oh, don't worry.

I will, 'cause
I really believe you,

so let me just use the old
super muscles on this chain

and--uh-oh! Made
of Kryptonite.

What? No, it's not!
Yeah, it is.

Oh, I guess I can't save you.

Oh, and that's too bad,
considering this b*mb looks

so real and couldn't possibly
be made of parts you found

in your parents' garage.
Yeah!

"The Total Package"
is back, Superman!

Go, Lex Luger!

It's your birthday!
It's your birthday!

It's your birthday!
It's your birthda--

Rex? Here, boy.

[ Yawns ]

[ Footsteps ]

[ Door opens ]

[ Door closes ]

[ Urinating ]

[ Toilet flushing ]

[ Door opens ]

[ Door closes ]

[ Footsteps ]

Hey, boy, want to play fetch?

[ Grumbles ]

Come on, come on! One more!

You can do this, He-man!

Can this be
the end of He-man?

Ah, rest it
on your throat, Chump.

Aren't you supposed
to be in spin class?

Already spinning!

Spinning! Spinning!
Spinning--aah!

Things here at the
Eternia -hour Fitplex

have gotten crazy ever since
the Snake Mountain branch

got shut down for black mold.

Black mold's really
bad for breathing.

Oh, hey,
I'll get that for you.

[ Farts ]

Oops! [ Laughs ]
Aw, come on!

Take a picture.
It'll last longer.

Their professions require
them to work out constantly.

They either have to be ripped
like gods or built like lingerie

models--or, for some, both.

[ Grunting ]

This is a new personal best!
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

[ Grunting ]

You're such a dirty birdie.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

You paying
attention up there?

Oh, yeah.

Something's obscuring
my vision.

Uh-huh.
What the hell is that, man?

It's--it's getting bigger.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Oh, my god!

Get your [ Bleep ]
boner off of my--

You care if I
change the channel?

Really? Rachael Ray?

Yeah. So what?

Your name is Evil-lyn.

I thought you'd watch
something more,

you know [ Mockingly ] evil!

What do you think I watch
when I'm on the treadmill,

"Faces of death"?
Yeah, maybe.

Rachael Ray's husband
pays chicks to spit on him.

Allegedly.

You know, just a fun fact.

So, that yellow skin--is
that a vitamin deficiency or...?

Yeah. Unlike you,
I'm all out of vitamin bitch.

Fine! Forget it, a**l-lyn.

Greetings, girls!

Whoa!
Oh, my god.

[ Farts ] Whew! Whoa!
Hot in here!

I love a good sweat, but it
sure makes my cooter itch.

[ Ratcheting ]

Wow! It like you guys
not trying hard at all.

Look who's talking.

I only affect the "Dur" voice

to better complete the illusion

I'm you, you spray-tanned
side of beef.

[ Growls ] I'd k*ll that guy
if we weren't so evenly matched!

You know, maybe I could help
you with that problem.

This doesn't
concern you, Duncan!

Get the [ Bleep ] out of here!

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

Ba-gawk!

Bawk.

Aw, come on. Yeah, sure,
oh, he's hung like a rhino,

and I get a face
like a pirate flag.

Yeah, that's real
[ Bleep ] fair.