03x03 - Rabbits on a Roller Coaster

[bunniefuu]

It's alive!

Can you show us the area
where the man touched you?

Right here...

on my penis!

I got to stop eating macaroni
and cheese with every meal.

It's nature's ass cork.

Tiny, you're late.

Your team needs you in battle.

Okay, here we go!

Ho ho ho ho ho ho!

All:
Oh!

Tiny!

That is terribly gross.

How embarrassing.

We're just concerned,
Tiny.

Yeah,
the problem's getting bigger.

Like your stomach.

Just let me eat
my pizza in peace.

That's not pizza.

That's the cardboard circle you
microwave the pizza on!

Oh.

It's Zoltar!

Okay, team...

G- force!

Wow, Tiny,
that was impressive.

You're my he-hero!

Looks like fatty's stealing
all our thunder.

You thinking
what I'm thinking?

Uh-huh.

Hey, Tiny, I thought we could
celebrate today's vic... wow.

Okay, we were not thinking the
same thing at all here.

Hello, and welcome to
"Mythbusters. "

On today's episode,
the holocaust.

Hold that thought, Adam.

Mythbusters.

Please help!

My son won't stop masturbating.

I told him he'll go blind, but
he says that's just a myth.

Is that true?

We got one!

Masturbation does not
cause blindness.

The only correlation
between the two

is that semen contains a
large amount of zinc.

As much as.
milligrams of zinc

to one milliliter of
seminal fluid.

A deficiency of zinc can
cause blindness.

But the loss of zinc through
masturbation

isn't nearly enough
to cause a deficiency.

You called about a myth?

Yeah, I thought we just...

There's no time!

Oh, my God!

Both:
Mythbusters, go!

Aah!

I'm sorry!

I swear I'll never
masturbate again!

Another myth busted.

Both:
Here on "Mythbusters"!

Ow!

Mother... f*cking
piece of sh*t!

Are you Timmy?

Damn it!

I'll find him.

Run, Forrest! Run!

Well, blow me down!

What's everybody doing in me
living room?

Oh, Popeye!

It's the spinach.

We think you're addicted.

Those forearms are grotesque,
son.

It ain't natural.

Me spinach?

Ha-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga!

It's spinach.

Then hand it over.

What?

You're out of your
cotton-picking minds!

You can't take me spinach.

Aah!

Popeye, me boy,
fight it!

Fight it, son!

I can't!

So why are you here?

I want to destroy cities and
rid the streets of weaponry.

Yeah, but why
are you really here?

I want to be king of the
monsters.

There you go.

Now if you stick with me,
you'll make it.

But you got to unlearn that
bullshit that they teach you

on monster island now,
'cause that sh*t

will get you k*lled
out here.

I'll do anything you
want me to do.

My lizard.
Now, how's your Japanese?

Not that good.

Well, you learn that sh*t then,
brother,

'cause that
sh*t will get you k*lled.

These mother f*ckers out there

be planning all types
of sh*t on you.

Hey, yo, Mazinger,
you got my stuff?

Yo, what you need, 'Zilla?

Check it out.

I got rocket-f*ring hands.

I got rockets for
your shoulders and legs.

My sh*t is tight!

Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.

Well, anyway...

what did you do?!

Justifiable homicide in the
line of duty.

No, that was m*rder.

Open your eyes, son.

That man was your friend, and
you k*lled him like a fly.

Why is he my friend, huh?

Because he knows my name?

Mazinger sold g*ns and rockets.

The world is a better place
without him, anyway.

Now get your ass in the car.

No way, man.

I'm getting reassigned.

Well, you do that.

You tell them what I did.

I don't give a damn,
'cause I got news for you.

King Kong ain't got
sh*t on me.

# Do do do
going to work,

# Helping the environment,
saving the economy #

Sorry, Council of Evil Tables,
your villainy stops now.

So says the Table Smasher!

So we meet again, South African
oak conference table!

Rats!

Diplomatic immunity!

Oh!

Don't do it,
Table Smasher!

You know what this
table took from me!

It ain't worth it.

Like hell it ain't!

Oh, lord!

That wobble's never
gonna go away.

Go ahead!
Slap the cuffs on me.

I don't care.

I didn't see nothing.

I didn't see nothing at all.

If you give a mouse a cookie,
he'll want a glass of milk.

If you give a mouse some milk,
he'll want some more.

If you give a mouse more milk,

he'll develop a taste
for human blood.

If he develops a taste
for human blood,

he'll become a
vampire.

If he becomes a vampire,

he'll have to make some followers.

Now if he makes some followers,
they will need to feed.

If they feed too much,

the national guard
will be called out.

If the national guard is called
out, they, too,

will become fodder
for the vampires.

If the national guard fails,

the president will call in a
nuclear strike.

If a nuke is dropped,

hundreds of thousands
of people will die.

America will become a nuclear
wasteland and collapse!

With no one to keep the rest of
the world's nukes in check,

every crackpot nation will
launch their own!

Eventually, the entire earth
will be destroyed.

And that's why I had
to k*ll daddy.

He was giving a mouse a cookie.

Sleep well, sweetie.

I know what you're thinking.

"Did he fire six sh*ts
or only five?"

Well, you got to ask
yourself one question.

"Do I feel lucky?"

Well, do you, punk?

You know what?

I do!

Hot damn!

This must be my lucky day!

Get back here, punk!

I'm gonna... ooh!

Aah!

Stop right there!

Stop that guy!

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

I'm the luckiest bastard on
the planet!

I can't be stopped.

Just call me Lucky McLuckerton.

# Lucky, lucky, doodle-do #

# I have luck instead of you #

There he is.

Don't let him get away!

Get your hands off me!

Really good day,
really good.

Really good being thought of.

What the...?

Aw, man, there's a leprechaun
on my shoe.

Ha!
Gotcha, punk.

I'm completely buggered.

Please help me.

The cow says...

Moo!

Your mom says...

...because my cock is in
her mouth.

Get it, kid?

My cock in her mouth.

This is Bob Barker
ending my last show,

reminding you to help
control the pet population.

Spay or neuter your pets today.

So long, everybody.

Hey, Phil, have you spayed or
neutered your pet today?

Nah, I'll do it tomorrow.

You really should do it
today.

Whatever.

Hmm...

I'd say that's $ for
the hedge clippers.

Right.

$ . for the hair trimmers.

Right.

And $ .
for the chloroform.

Right again, Bob.

I've never felt so alive!

All those years
of talking about it,

and now i'm actually doing
something about it.

No more hair balls for you.

Come on down!

The horses are at the
starting gate.

And they're off.

With the help of flowers and
some Barry White,

we hope Jengo
will finally impregnate Ming Li

and save the species.

Yo, boss, this is crazy.

We got to watch our backs if
we're gonna save our sacs.

You got a plan?

The mysterious castrating
vigilante has struck again.

In an unrelated story, the
annual dog show starts today.

This dog show's a no-show.

I expect better manners
from my guests, Bob.

You?
I should have known!

That's right.

And there's no way you're gonna
shizzle my nizzle.

It's for the good
of the pet population!

You know, Bob,
I have to hand it to you.

What's that?

Your nuts!

Aaaahhhhh!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

I'm years old, stupid.

I've been sh**ting
dust for years.

But I wouldn't mind a
replacement set.

Ah! My nuts!

You're in deep trouble,
friend... balls deep.

Spay or neuter your pets today!

f*ck you,
Bob Bar...

Snoop Dogg,
Robot Chicken.