03x01 - Werewolf vs. Unicorn

[bunniefuu]

Previously on
"Robot Chicken y'all...,"

Not enough of you have been

calling in to support us getting
a third season,

but we're gonna
change all that right now.

Matt, give me the...

Oh!
You sh*t the bloopers host!

Seth, listen...
they like the v*olence.

Oh!
We can't have a third season

if we don't have any
writers!

They love us!

v*olence!
Bleeding!

Die!

Die!

Ratings are through the roof,
b*tches.

We're fixing to renew y'all.

That's what the f*ck
I'm talking about!

But at what cost?

You say something, Keith?

No, I didn't say anything.

Aah!

Gravy corn bread!

Holy f*cking ass crackers!

Oh f*ck.

Come on, come on!

Come on!

Aaaaah!

Dang it,
what do we do now?

I've got an idea.

Aah!
You rattlesnake!

Aah! Ohh!

Yes!

N-o-o-o-o!

N-o-o-o-o!

Oh, wait a second.

Oh, it's just mom.

No!

L-L-Look at the new contract!

We get health benefits!

Oh, no, god,
please don't eat my brains.

It smells like
wet garbage in here.

Yo, what do you guys want for
lunch today?

Brains!

Subway!

Brains it is.

Oh, I hate brains.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Where all your fantasies will
come true!

Then why are you a midget?

Flash Gordon!

The Phantom!

Mandrake the Magician!

These three heroes,
united by a quest for justice

and the
coincidence that they're all

owned by King Features
syndicate,

now defend the Earth as the
defenders of the Earth!

Earth!

Wham! Ha ha!

Take that!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Watch me pull some kick-ass
out of my hat!

Now you see me,
now you don't!

Aah!
I actually live on this block!

All:
Defenders of the Earth!

Help!
Defenders of the Earth,

a k*ller asteroid's about to
wipe us out!

Uh...

we're just the
neighborhood-watch association.

The most bad-ass
neighborhood-watch association

on the east side.

Boo-yah!

That whole Earth/asteroid
thing?

Not really our bag.

But look!

There's a quarter in your ear!

But you're the defenders of
the Earth.

Well, part of the Earth...

if you live on Brenner Drive

between Wells Avenue and
Route W.

To the cul-de-sac!

All:
Defenders of the Earth!

But... but... the... Earth...

# Shout on #

Damn light!

# Shout off #

f*cking television!

# The shouter #

Let's you turn anything on
and off from anywhere

in the room with a high-volume
vocalization.

Bullshit weather!

Just plug it in to control
the lights, tv...

almost anything.

# Shout on #

Ah, f*cking Christmas!

# Shout off #

k*ll myself!

# Shout on, shout off #

My kids left me alone to die!

# The shouter #

Whew!

It'll be nice to have this
ultimate death ray finished.

Let's just hope it doesn't
fall into the wrong hands.

Good point.
Want to hit Quizno's?

Word.

Awesome.

Megatron, the Ultimate Death Ray
is almost complete.

Excellent, Soundwave.

Now monitor their progress by
hiding in plain sight!

Understood.

Just let me grab my wallet.

Oh, you'd forget your
testicles

if they weren't tethered by the
Vas Deferens

to your seminal vesicle.

Hey, look at this thing.

Who's got a boom box anymore?

Hey, look at me!

I'm LL Cool J, huh?

Electric boogaloo!

Chika-chika tam bam!

Oh, what's that?

Oh, my freakin' God,
it's a mix tape!

Lame! Wow!

Hey, what'd you do this summer?

I totally cried my eyes out,
and then I masturbated.

My God!

Can you believe this actually
used to be a viable format?

Look at me... streamers!

I'm a clown!

Happy birthday!

Rumble!

You're k*lling Rumble!

If by "rumble" you mean "your
weak-ass mix tape

of p*ssy pussness,"
then I guess we are.

Rumble, transform!

Transform!

Oh, n-o-o-o-o-o!

Hey, this thing runs on "D"
batteries.

Just like your wife's vibrator.

Soundwave hasn't reported
back in days.

Where can he be?

Megatron,
I think I found him.

Ebay?

Request permission to buy it
now.

And good day to you.

Breaking news from space.

As the new ride at Las Vegas'

"Star Trek: Experience"...

What's up, Dickstain?

Get out of here, Munson!

I'm doing my show!

Oh, yeah!

What's it called again...

"Gay news for h*m* about penis
who loves d*ck

and are afraid of vag*na and
grew up

in west vag*na and are kind
of afraid of it

and also grew up in
"penis-braska"?

No, it's called the
"gyro-robo news... "

# Two scoops of penis are the
reason you're a superfag #

Stop it!

Oh ho!

Now, tell the nice viewers

how much you love the smell of
your own farts!

Say it!

Oh, it gets tighter!

Say it!

Okay, okay!

I love the smell
of my own farts!

I love farts!

Ha ha! Loser!

You got Munsoned!

I'm your real dad!

And in other news...

Daniel, sweety...

Mom, I am doing my show!

Oh, well, it might be time
for a commercial break.

No, it is not!

I made Snickerdoodles.

We'll be right back after
these messages.

Alpha Psi Bodega?!

Nuh-unh!

Both:
Alpha Psi! Do or die!

Gung ho!
Gung ho!

Unh! Hunh! Unh! Hunh!

Unh! Hunh! Unh! Hunh! Unh!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

So, uh... You like basketball?

And now, Adam,

it is unto ye to name all the
animals of the Earth.

I'm on it.

I'm gonna call you a horse.

And you'll be a bear.

Hey, Adam!

Oh, hey, Steve.

What are you doing?

I walked into a situation, don't
know what's going on,

but I want to be part of it!

Eh, nothing.

Just naming all the beasts of
the Earth.

Ooh! Let's call that one a
peacock!

Steve, Steve...

And that'll be a swallow!

Steve, please, don't...

And that's the ramburglar!

# Be a winner
at the game of life #

A letter from the admissions
office?

My life starts now!

Rejected?

Fiddlesticks!

# Disappointment in the game
of life #

That's the last tray

of imitation meat patties
you'll ruin!

You're fired!

Isn't there anything I could
do to save my job?

Yes.
There is.

Oh, I really... need...

this... job!

Work it off!

You're keeping your job!

# Sex for favors in the game
of life #

God, please...
Please...

No!

Oh, God, why?!

# Broken condoms
in the game of life #

Come on, honey.

One last big push.

Aa-a-a-a-h!

Oh, sh**t!

# Start a family in the game
of life #

God, another interview
you've blown?

We can't all live on beer,
you know?

You're gonna shut... your...
big... mouth... once... and...

for... all... stupid... bitch!

I'm sorry!

# k*ll your husband in the
game of life #

f*cking spinner.

Shh!
Shh!

And now a message from your
Governor.

Good evening.

As you know, I have dealt with
many aliens in the past,

but now you criticize me about
the Mexico alien.

Here, I show you how the great
state of California

has dealt with
the Mexico border issue.

Here we have the high-tech
border fence

with the highly trained
border guard,

who will explain further.

People runnin' across the
border was a problem,

but these new systems are
impregnable.

Eypa, eypa!
Landale, andale!

Larriba, arriba!

Ee-yah!

S- s-son of a bitch.

Cracking down on the crimes
will discourage the immigrants

from coming here illegally.

That's him!

He drew a "Z" on my wall.

Yes, right after I broke up a
robbery!

I'm a f*cking hero!

Aah!
Chingo tu madre!

We must stop the hiring of
the illegal aliens.

I asked for this water
an hour ago!

You are too slow!

Slow?

But mi nombre es
Slowpoke Rodriguez.

You, the security people,
take the mouse and deport him!

No, señor!

They'll execute me in mi
country.

You are k*lling me!

You are k*lling me!

But we are also compassionate

for the children found at
the border.

We found this little girl
wandering around

with no parental supervision.

Soy un explorer!

Estoy en una adventura magnífico
con mi amigo boots!

Which we dealt with per CDC
regulations.

And here is the latest hero
to fight the illegal border crime

Superman!

Thank you, Governor.

We super friends had no idea

that El Dorado was an illegal
when we let him join our ranks.

I'm on my way to deport him
right now.

Yeah, yeah, good job with that
Superman thing going on there.

And how did you come to this
great country yourself?

Gott in himmel!

Sir, if you have a moment,

I wanted to talk about how you
got into this country.

Up, up, and away!

# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #
# Ba-bawk bawk bawk #

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bawk bawk #

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# Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk #

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Bawk bawk #

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Bawk bawk #

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Bawk bawk #

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Bawk bawk #

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Bawk bawk #

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# Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk #

Ba-gawk! Bawk.