Cheryl: jim?
Huh? What?
Would you please
watch the girls
While I make dinner?
Honey, I'm in the middle
of something right now.
You know,
I can see you.
Hi.
Send them out.
Hi, baby.
Play a game
with us, daddy.
We want to play
a game.
Okay.
Oh, how about...
Let's play
"find the quarter."
Yay!
Yay!
Now, remember, whoever finds
the quarter gets a penny.
Hah!
Oh, baby.
What's that?
Well, what do
you think it is?
A monster?
It's a horse.
It looks
like a monster.
Oh, is it the one
that lives under
your bed?
Jim: hey, how's it going
with uncle andy?
Uncle andy
told me--
Yeah, we're having
a great time.
Hey, everyone.
Together: hi, aunt dana.
What's in the bags?
Receipts.
Can you do my taxes?
Now?
Yeah, my extension
runs out tomorrow.
Please! I'll go to jail.
Well, bunk with a big woman,
and you'll be fine.
Come on, andy,
I do lots of stuff for you.
Like what?
I fixed you up
with my assistant.
Mrs. Anderson?
She was .
She was miss illinois.
Was it even a state
then?
Come on, andy,
just do this for me.
I'll take care
of the girls.
Name your price.
Hey, andy, why don't you
have her do that laundry
you brought over?
All right, but I'm not
doing the underwear.
It's all underwear.
Forget it.
Hey, girls,
Can you draw a picture
of auntie dana in jail?
Can she have a bird
with her?
Sure, she'll probably just
sell it for cigarettes, anyway.
All right, fine, andy.
You win.
Not really.
Hey!
Wow! Look at what
I married.
Aw.
Whoo!
Wow, you haven't worn
that dress since...
Well, the night
we made kyle.
Yeah, I sewed
the straps back on.
And how do I look?
I laid it out for you,
jim.
Right.
Okay, let's go.
All right.
Okay, girls, be good.
I want them in bed
by : .
They can watch tv
for an hour.
Thank you, andy.
Oh, and I made mac and cheese
for dinner.
How come you always have
mac and cheese
When we're going out?
Hey, look,
there's the restaurant.
Oh, and there's a spot.
Oh, i-i'm sorry.
It's handicapped.
Well...you do have
a broken wrist.
Jim.
All right.
Oh, look, there
someone's pulling out.
Mine!
Oh!
Hey! Hey!
Hey, he just
took my spot!
Hey, you idiot,
you just took my spot!
It's not your spot.
He didn't know
where you were going.
I clearly indicated!
He knew I was
going for it!
He took
my damn spot!
Jim, the windows are up.
He can't hear you.
So you're basically
just yelling at me.
[ Scoffs ]
Don't get
out of the car.
Honey, I'm just
gonna go there
And tell him what
he did was wrong.
Jim, please, I don't want
a repeat of mother's day.
Honey, this is
totally different.
This is a guy.
You know what?
There's a lot right next
to the restaurant. See?
No! No, if we park
there, he wins!
Wins what?!
He wins!
This isn't a contest,
honey.
Look, I just really
want to have a dinner
and go to a movie.
Do not ruin this
for me, okay?
Okay.
Okay.
I get it.
Okay.
Get that finger
back in the car.
So...
What's my refund?
I don't know. I can't make
any sense of these receipts.
I mean,
who lives like this?
You know,
my last accountant
wasn't this judgmental.
Maybe that's because
your last accountant
was an accountant.
Fine, I'll sort
through the rest
of the receipts,
But I am not
doing any more
of your underwear.
"Home of
the whopper," andy?
They were a gift.
Cheryl...you look
so beautiful tonight.
Aw, thank you,
sweetie.
You are
just so gorgeous.
Thank you.
Isn't this exciting?
I just --
I love this place.
Oh, I am gonna eat
so much!
[ Chuckles ]
Well, honey, you
knock yourself out.
Oh, for the love of god, jim,
not the coupon book.
Excuse me, pal.
This coupon
for a free appetizer
Is only good
till : ,
And it's, like,
minutes of :
right now.
So just that
you know that I'm
in my chair, okay?
All right?
You're my witness.
Honey, would you please
put that away?
It's embarrassing.
Okay, just trying
to save a little
money, that's all.
If you didn't go
to the beauty parlor
so much...
Beauty parlor?
Who am i, aunt bee?
Look. Look...look.
That's the guy who stole
my parking space.
What a jerk.
Oh, jim...
Come on,
he took my spot.
Stop it.
We haven't been out
anywhere alone together
In I don't know
how long.
Honey, can we
just enjoy it?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah,
you're right, baby.
You're right.
This is our night
tonight.
I know.
Okay,
then let's talk.
Okay.
Hey, what's that movie
about we're gonna see?
Oh, it's english.
They don't write
with feathers, do they?
You know I hate that.
No, it's about
world w*r ii.
Keep talking.
Okay, it's about
the blossoming friendship
Between two women
in the english countryside.
Oh.
Jeez, I hope
they're two lesbians
driving a t*nk.
[ Laughs ]
Look at him.
Look at him over there,
all high and mighty.
[ Sighs ]
Look at me, your lovely wife,
sitting across from you.
Honey, he is sitting
at the table next
to the fireplace,
The best table
in the place,
And he knows it's
just ticking me off.
It's not about where we sit.
It's about who you're with.
[ Snap]
Yes.
Right.
And I'm with you.
That's right.
You're so pretty.
Aw.
Come here and give me
a little kiss.
Look what he just did!
Look what he just did!
He just took a fork
off the other table.
I can't believe
this guy!
I mean, this is,
like, his thing--
Taking other
people's stuff!
That's probably even--
not even his hairpiece!
All right,
switch places with me.
Honey, I'm trying
to have a nice dinner,
But this guy--
Look, look at him
look at me!
Let it go.
All right, I'll let it go.
Okay, good.
Are you folks
ready to order?
Yes, yes,
we are. Um...
I'd like to start
with the arugula salad,
And I would like
the rosemary chicken
With pommes frites.
And I think
I'll start with...
The rack of lamb--
I'm sorry, sir.
We just ran out.
Let me guess.
Did that guy
over there get it?
Yes, sir.
Why?
Because he ordered
before you, and we
don't have any more.
Ooh, you got all
the answers, don't you?
Come on.
You realize this
is false advertising?
You are gonna get a letter
from my lawyer.
Come on, sir,
you don't have a lawyer.
Yeah, but I can
bench-press pounds.
No, you can't, sir.
All righty, then.
Cheryl?
Cheryl?
Boy, we don't get
this kind of lip
At the sizzler.
Dana, where's my beer?
I want my beer!
Dana: it's coming!
God, this is just like
taking care of grandma
Right before she died.
That reminds me--
wipe my chin.
[ Groans ]
I'm bored.
Too bad.
Can I go?
No, you're gonna sit here
and watch me do your taxes.
You're not gonna
make any phone calls.
You're not gonna
file your nails.
You're not gonna
make that face
When you think
I'm not looking.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Uh...c-cheryl here?
She came back
a couple hours ago.
She's upstairs.
She, uh, seem mad?
No, she danced around
in her wedding dress,
Kissing your picture.
All right, I guess
I should go up there
and talk to her.
Kids asleep?
Yep.
Any mac
and cheese left?
Gone.
You need any help?
Jim, you're just gonna have
to go up and face the music.
Uh, andy, your
underwear done yet?
Hey.
[ Clears throat ]
You know, cheryl,
I've been looking for you
for two hours.
So I still haven't eaten.
You know,
you should've stuck around.
Everything worked out
just fine.
I mean, that guy who stole
my parking space
Came out,
and I confronted him.
Oh, darn, I always
leave too early.
It actually
worked out great.
He turned out to be
a really nice guy.
You know, jim, this
night was supposed
to be about us.
You made it
all about you.
Honey,
I didn't start it.
I know, honey.
You never start it.
[ Goofily ] "hey, buddy,
that's my parking spot."
"Hey, buddy, I thought
this was an open bar."
I don't talk like that.
Oh, yes, you do!
"Hey, buddy,
read the sign--
items or less."
Cheryl, that guy picked up
two rolls of mints
and a magazine.
He did half his shopping
in the checkout line.
And then he pulled out
one of those little
squeeze purses for coins
And then he squeezed it
and he started to get
his little pennies out!
And I'm waiting there
forever!
Look at me!
Yes?
I needed
this night...
Yes.
Really badly.
I know.
Do you have any idea
what I do all day?
Just today--
Mommy & me with kyle,
who has diarrhea.
Then, I sang
"itsy-bitsy spider"
to gracie
Times--
with hand gestures.
Then, I carpooled
ruby's soccer team,
Who all learned
a new word today...
From me.
Okay, I get it.
We have way too many kids.
[ Cheryl scoffs ]
You are with adults
all day!
Yes. That's true.
Honey, all I wanted
was one night
When I got to go out
and be a grown-up
with another grown-up!
I know, I know.
And you let
a parking space ruin it!
You just--you can't
let anything go!
It's hard for me,
honey. It's--
Honey, I feel bad about it.
I really do.
That's why I went
looking for you
At the movie theater.
I mean, I even stayed
and watched the movie.
And you know what, cheryl?
It was good!
You watched the movie
without me?!
You're not hearing me,
cheryl.
I actually liked
your chick flick.
Cheryl--
Okay.
Hey! How's it going
with andy?
Oh,
now he wants cinnamon
for his coffee.
You know, I'm seriously
just considering
doing the jail time.
You do look good
in denim.
I've been running.
You look pretty, mommy.
I want to marry you.
You know, I just may
take you up on that.
Daddy!
Hi, daddy!
Well, hello,
my beauties.
Wow!
You look great!
It's tonight we're
supposed to do that
thing at the school?
That was last week.
Oh, good. Whew.
Mommy's going out.
She is? Where?
To the restaurant.
I'm going to have dinner
With someone who can
behave themselves -- me.
I'm going alone.
Cheryl...
Yeah?
Now, I thought we talked
about this at breakfast.
I thought
everything was fine.
It is.
Everything's fine.
I'm just gonna go
and have the nice dinner
We were supposed
to have last night.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
So this is one
ofthoselessons
of yours?
No, it's not.
It's not, huh?
No.
Okay.
Okay.
Well, have a nice dinner.
Thank you.
I'll tell you what.
What?
I'll even buy you
a drink.
Aww.
Here you go.
Thank you, honey.
You're welcome.
And would you
clean up in here
And give the girls a bath?
Sure.
Thank you.
Good night.
Have fun with daddy.
Have a good time.
Your tag is showing,
but have a nice time.
I'm done, daddy.
Me, too.
Okay, girls, why don't you
clean up the table
And get ready for your bath?
So, cheryl left, huh?
Yeah.
Well, andy and I are
just gonna finish up
in the dining room.
All right,
but I'm warning you--
In minutes, I'm stripping
down to my boxers.
Look at all these receipts.
You're throwing away
all your money--
Clothes, makeup, taxis,
frappuccinos.
You need to save
for a rainy day like I do.
Why? So I can go home,
fire up a box
of hot pockets,
Turn on
the sci-fi channel,
And watch a robot and
an alien adopt a baby?
Yes, and I'm
missing that tonight.
Look, I'm prudent
with my money.
I earn it,
I put it in the bank,
and I save it.
Come on, andy.
When was the last time
You spent money
on yourself, huh?
That you went out
and had fun
And went a little nuts?
Well, last week,
I told jim I had
a doctor's appointment,
But what I really did was
go and get my teeth cleaned.
Wow, listen to me.
Andy, stop doing what
you're supposed to do.
Stop putting off life.
Just say, "screw it!"
Just do what you
really want to do.
You're right.
What are you doing?
What I want to do.
What about my taxes?
Screw it!
Hey, jim, did you take
your kids as deductions
last year?
'Cause if not,
I could sure use them.
Where'd andy go?
Uhh, he left me
with the taxes.
You know what?
I'm just gonna send
it in like this.
They'll appreciate
the effort.
Okay, I'm gonna go.
W-w-w-wait, dana.
Dana, dana, dana,
don't go.
What?
Well, I mean,
you know, it's--
Hang around
a little bit,
And thought maybe
we could talk.
I mean, we don't
do that anymore.
We've never done that.
That's not true.
We talked at the wedding.
Oh, yeah. I said,
"if you hurt my sister,
I'll k*ll you,"
And you said, "bite me."
That's not really
a conversation.
Dana, dana, dana!
Come on.
Hang out a little bit.
Stay. Please?
At least
close your legs.
This is nice, huh?
This thing with cheryl's
really bothering you,
Isn't it?
[ Inhales, exhales ]
Maybe.
But she should know me
by now.
When people are jerks,
I have to say something.
She should accept that.
That's just who I am.
Jim--and I'm saying this
as family now--
Who you are...
Is unacceptable.
Dana, I'm just not gonna
apologize for expecting
A little justice
in the world, that's all.
I have too much integrity.
I'm not gonna let that go.
Yeah, but I think
you'd let it go
If you were running
late for a kickoff
or a poker game.
Yeah, or
all-you-can-eat shrimp.
Right? See?
So why can't you let it
go for one night
for your own wife?
She does it for you
all the time.
She goes to your stuff.
She loves my stuff!
She's a good sport.
She has fun
when you have fun.
Well, she's,
you know...there,
And I'm...here,
and, you know...
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
Beautiful blonde
eating all alone
In that dress...
Who'd hit on that?
You watch the kids?
Yep.
Um...you might want
to put some pants on.
I got a spare pair
in the car.
[ Clears throat,
rattles silverware ]
Jim?
Oh, hi.
Hi.
What are you doing here?
Nothing, nothing,
Just having a little
dinner by myself,
You know, with someone
who's good--me.
You're not even
saying it right.
Are those
your car pants?
Yeah.
They're loose.
Honey...
You know,
I can do this.
I can.
I can go out
with you
And not let
the little things,
You know,
get to me,
Like the valet,
who's the same valet
that was here before...
Honey.
...but I just
let that go.
I can be
a good date.
I promise, cheryl.
So, come on. What do you
say we get out of here?
You made your point,
and let's go.
No.
I like it here.
I mean, the linen tablecloth
and the china
And--oh, god--
the butter knife.
And watch this--
Excuse me.
Um, I have crumbs.
[ Chuckles ]
You really do need
to get out, don't you?
That's what
I was telling you.
Come on, baby.
Let me make it up
to you.
I want to
take you out again.
We'll have a great time.
I promise.
Well...
We're here now.
We are, aren't we?
Excuse me, sir.
Yeah.
I think...
We will have
dessert, please.
Oh! Um, I would like
the crème brûlée, please.
And I'll have
the rack of lamb.
Ohh.
Wait. I got this coupon
here for the rack.
Oh!
No, no, no, no.
It's gone.
Aww.
I let it go, baby.
I let it go.
You look
so sweet tonight.
So, the reason I called
you is that, well,
I'd been thinking
about you,
And my sister told me
I need to start
living life,
Doing what I want to do.
So here I am,
Doing what I want
to do...with you.
Let's let the night
take us
On a strange and
passionate journey.
Mrs. Anderson?
Mrs. Anderson?
[ Snapping ]