Mommy!
Mommy!
Hey, girls.
Hello, hello.
Hey, did you have fun
playing with daddy?
Yes.
Yes.
Where is he?
Sleeping
in his chair.
Oh. Has daddy been
sleeping in his chair
The whole time
mommy was gone?
Why don't you girls go
play upstairs for a bit?
Okay.
Jim!
What?
[Laughs]
What?
Uh, i-i-i just thought
of something funny.
Uh, so how did it go
with the girls?
With the girls?
We had, uh --
We did lots of stuff --
Fun stuff, you know.
Mm-hmm.
Oh! Oh, darn it.
You know what?
I forgot the milk.
Honey, would you
do me a favor
And run down to
the store real quick?
[Sighs]
Okay.
Oh, thank you,
honey.
You know what?
Why don't you stop by o'malleys
and have a beer with the guys?
I think I will.
Okay, good.
Mmm.
I deserve it.
Aw!
Oh, yes, you do.
Hah!
Oh, baby.
Girls, would you please hurry up
and finish your pancakes?
We got to get ruby
to school.
Honey, would you help me
out here, please?
Yeah, sure.
Okay, my friend,
my young son,
That's for you.
Girls, forks up!
Ready?
Set...
Food race!
Mmm!
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
[Gasps]
I won!
I won!
I finished first!
I'm the king
of eating!
Whoo!
I got to go
to the "office."
Ooh!
I'm gonna take this.
No, no, no, no, no.
You are no longer allowed
to eat in the bathroom.
You got jelly
on the curtains.
There was a spider
on the windowsill,
And I just forgot I had
the doughnut, that's all.
Hey, sis.
Hey!
You got
a free minute?
Yeah, just build
a time machine
and go back to .
Girls, would you please
grab your coats?
Oh, gracie, I got
a joke for you.
What do you get
from a brown cow?
Chocolate milk. Ha ha.
Where's jim?
In his "office."
Again? I've never seen
anyone work as much
as that guy.
Oh, yeah, he's consistently
our top producer.
Oh, so, big news!
You know how I've been
looking to buy a condo?
I found one!
Oh, my god!
That's great!
Two bedroom, two bath,
Parking, bidet,
the whole nine yards.
The thing is, um...
[Chuckles]
I didn't expect
to find it so fast,
And I'm a little short
on the down payment.
I thought
of asking dana.
Oh, I know.
There are always
strings attached.
Yeah. It starts
with one small favor,
And next thing you know,
you're peeing in a cup
So her boyfriend
can keep his job.
How much do you need?
$ , .
If you don't have it,
I understand.
No, no, we do have it.
We have it in
our italy account.
Your what?
Well, jim and I have
been putting away
money every week
So we can go
to italy one day.
He wants to run
with the bulls.
Isn't that spain?
Yeah, but please
don't tell jim.
I really want to go
to italy.
Uh, cheryl, I don't want
to take your italy money.
Oh, no, no, no. Please.
You can have the money.
Thanks, cheryl.
That's great!
Oh, sure. Yeah, you just
have to clear it with jim.
Damn! Well,
it was a nice dream.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey,
my name's on that account, too,
And I'm saying yes.
He may squawk a little bit,
but he'll be fine.
Are you kidding?
Every time I borrow
money for breakfast,
He makes me give
my watch as collateral.
He's such a jerk
sometimes.
Jim: who's a jerk?
Uh, that waiter
at applebee's.
Oh.
You mean the guy
that wouldn't take
my chili's coupon?
He is a jerk.
Ah, here it is.
What's going on?
Oh, I don't know.
I-i was just
thinking that...
I love you.
What?!
You're my brother-in-law,
my boss, my friend.
I love you, man.
Is one of us gonna die
real soon or something?
[Chuckling] no.
Well, then get
back to work.
I'm just saying
if you were stuck in some,
I don't know,
canadian prison,
I'd come
and bust you out.
Well, that's
good to know
In case I'm
ever arrested for
punching out a moose.
And if you ever
needed money
For whatever reason--
All right, all right,
give me the watch.
No, this is bigger
than lunch money.
All right,
give me the belt, too.
I need to borrow
$ , .
Jim, i-it's really
important to me.
[Laughs]
I'd get it back to you
in, like, a month.
Ha ha ha ha!
Please, jim?
Please? I know you have it
in that italy account.
Okay, fun's over.
W-what's
going on?
Nothin'.
No,
you were laughing,
And then I said,
"italy account."
Don't ever say
"italy account."
Italy account.
Jim, come on.
Something's not right.
I can tell...
Because I'm
your man buddy.
First of all,
save the "man buddy"
for the canadian prison.
Okay?
Second of all,
never call me "man buddy."
Sorry.
What's the problem
with the italy money?
Spent it.
[Chuckling]
oh, my god.
Cheryl's gonna k*ll you.
Well, she would
if somebody told her
Before I had a chance
to replace it.
And you know what?
You're the only
other person
That knows about it.
What are you saying?
I'm saying
That tomorrow we're
pouring a basement,
And having you in there
would save me on cement.
[Laughing]
jim, that's --
That's disturbing.
What are you doing?
Uh, doing a crossword.
You wouldn't be looking
at the lingerie ads,
would you?
Yeah.
Hey, do you think all
these girls live together
In one big house?
Oh, yeah. And they
have a big trampoline
in their living room.
Cool.
Oh, hey, did you
talk to andy today?
No, what did he say?
He's a liar.
Oh, you said no to him,
didn't you?
No, that's not
the way it happened.
We had a little talk,
and after the discussion,
We decided that it wouldn't
be in his best interest
To buy a condo right now.
Did you thr*aten
to k*ll him again?
Honey, we were goofin' around.
That's what guys do.
They thr*aten to k*ll each other
all the time. Come on.
It's fun.
Jim, I just
don't understand
Why you wouldn't
loan him the money.
We have it
just sitting there
In our
italy account.
Cheryl, you and I
made an agreement.
Anything we spend over $
has to be okayed by both of us.
Now, if you want to go back
on that agreement, fine.
I do.
No, we're not
going back on it.
Cheryl, that money
is for us,
For our special time
together as a couple,
For you and me, you know,
eating pizza in its homeland,
Being chased by the bulls.
Honey, I don't want
to give away that dream.
Well, I don't want
to either, honey,
But andy
will pay us back
Way before we ever
take that trip.
And what
if he doesn't?
What if he doesn't
pay us back?
Then you know what?
I get mad.
Then you take my side,
and dana takes his side,
And the kids start crying,
and the dog gets out!
All for the sake
of the almighty dollar!
The dog gets out?
Cheryl, look,
Remember we went
to yellowstone park,
And they had
those signs--
Said, "do not feed
the bears"?
And you decided
it was okay to give them
chewing gum.
[Chuckles] well,
that was kind of funny.
I mean, it looked like he was
talking in slow motion.
Anyway,
that's not the point.
The point is the reason
they have that sign
Is because they don't want
the bears to become dependent.
Now, if we give andy
that $ , ,
He's gonna be rooting around
our garbage, scaring the kids.
So, your answer is "no,"
and that's it?
That's it.
Augh! It's like
talking to a wall!
You didn't complain when
this wall protected you
From a large bear with
a mouthful of bubbalicious.
Mmm.
Would you like
some more tea?
Mmm, yes.
It's delicious.
What kind of tea
is it?
Bacon.
Mmm.
Hey, can I ask you
a question?
How come andy didn't
ask me for the money?
I mean, I'm family.
I make a good living.
Dana, whenever you
do someone a favor,
You always expect
something back
in return.
Well, that's the way
the world works, cheryl.
It's a cold, cruel place.
It's survival of the fittest.
You got to claw
your way up to the top
Before they s*ab you
in the back.
[High-pitched voice]
and there's a whole bunch
Of lollipops and rainbows
out there, too!
You know what?
It's just not fair.
Andy needs
that money.
Would you watch
the kids for me?
Where are you going?
I'm gonna go to the bank
and get that money.
Behind
jim's back?
Uh-huh.
Oh, this could be the beginning
of something wonderful...
Or the end of something
that was never meant to be.
I-i-i don't understand.
There's got to be
a mistake.
There should be
over $ , in there.
I mean, I never touch
this account,
And the only
other person
authorized to--
How much is left?
Hoo!
What's wrong?
I don't know.
I just got a chill
up my spine.
Hey.
Hey.
Oh, cheryl, there is
nothing more beautiful
Than the sight of you standing
next to that pot roast...
Except maybe the sight of me
eating that pot roast.
Oh, honey,
I missed you, too.
And you know what?
Hmm?
To show you
how much I love you,
I'm giving you
a special present.
Yes!
No, jim.
No, no, no, no, jim.
No.
All right.
But if you want me
to hold you for a minute,
Then it's not really
my present.
Come on! I'm just kidding.
It was a little joke.
Uh-huh.
A married couple joke.
I know.
What's my present?
Okay, you ready?
Yes.
$ . .
It's all that was left
in our italy account.
You closed
our italy account?!
You took the money,
didn't you?
Hmm.
That doesn't sound like
something I would do.
I wonder
what happened to it.
What happened
to the money, jim?
Okay, cheryl,
you deserve
an explanation.
I have another family.
I have
a gambling problem.
I have another family
with a gambling problem.
Jim.
I just, you know--
[sighs]
I kind of spent it
on stuff, you know?
That's all.
What?
You know, drinks
with the guys or
basketball tickets,
Lottery tickets,
parking tickets...
Apology flowers--
A lot of apology
flowers.
I thought we were
supposed to discuss
All financial
decisions together.
Honey, I was
gonna replace it.
I just got busy.
Doing what?
You know...
Loving you.
I just--
Save it for
your other family, jim.
Okay, cheryl,
I think this is gonna be
a fight right now.
I see a little kinda
spark of it.
And I don't
think I want to be
a participant to this.
What if I do want to be
a participant of this?
Well, then you can "par"
and "ticipant" together.
Do not walk
away from me!
I am walking!
[Sighs angrily]
Well, well, well, well!
You almost got away
with that, didn't you?
With what?
How did you know
That I took the money
out of the bank
Unless you went
to the bank
To take the money out
yourself?
I wasn't gonna
take it out.
Then why did you go
to the bank?
Why did I go
to the bank?
I think that's
what I said.
Let me rephrase it.
Why did you go
to the bank?
I'll tell you
why I went to the bank!
Why did you go
to the bank?
I went to the bank
to take out the money!
Damn!
You've gotta teach me
how to lie!
I see what's
going on here.
You're not mad at me
For taking out
the money.
You're mad at me because
I got to the money first.
All right, yes. Yes, I am.
And why shouldn't I be?
It was my money, too, jim.
Everything in that account
was money I saved
From the household budget.
And where did that
household account
come from?
Where?
Me.
It came from me.
I'm the chief.
I'm el grande burrito,
el poco loco.
Me!
What are you saying?
I'm saying
I make the money.
I bring the money home.
It's my money.
I see.
[Sighs]
You know what, though?
You know what
I can't wait for?
Is you and I in italy
laughing about this.
Oh, thank you.
Cheryl, what's
going on here?
Well, jim, since all
of the money is yours,
I had to figure out a way
to make some of my own.
[Sighs] so you're
selling all our stuff?
No, my stuff.
All of this is stuff
I bought with my money
Before we even met.
I own it, not you--me.
I think you're overreacting
a little bit here.
I thought we settled this
last night.
Why would you
think that?
Because you didn't
k*ll me in my sleep.
Oh, thank you.
Okay.
Okay, I get it.
I get it.
You want to feel like
this money is yours.
So how much
for all this stuff?
It's not about money.
I know that.
It's about, you know,
something important to you.
Right?
Yes, that's right.
It's about respect.
Respect?
There's a curveball.
Um...
No, you know what?
Just forget it.
I need to go take care
of my customers.
Cheryl,
did he really say,
"I make the money"?
Oh, he did.
How do you know
I said that?
Cheryl!
How much for
this gravy boat?
$ .
I'll give you
$ .
Oh, great.
Let's go get the lid.
Uh!
[Sighs]
Andy, what are
you doing here?
Shopping.
Now that I can't
buy my condo,
I find I got a little
extra cash lying around.
Andy...
I insist that
you take this check
and go buy your condo.
I told you already
I don't want to be
at your beck and call.
Okay, here's the deal.
You need $ ,
for your condo,
And I need a lift
to the airport
tomorrow morning.
Now, you know that
one way or another
you're gonna give me a lift,
So you might as well
take the check
and get a condo out of it.
I'll pick you up
at : .
Make it : .
Bring coffee.
: ?!
That means I have
to get up at : .
I'm already
running late.
Okay, okay.
Have your fun.
Sell your little blender
and your little roller skates
And these socks
with no feet in them.
They're
leg warmers, jim.
Come on.
You're making that up.
Andy: cheryl, are you
selling this chair?
Yeah, $ will take it
out the door.
Hey, hold on!
You can't sell
my chair.
I'll give you $ .
$ .
Actually, jim,
it's mine.
I had it in my apartment
before we met,
So I can sell it
if I want to.
I'll give you $ .
$ .
No, you can't!
This is my chair!
I sit in this chair.
Look, look.
Right there's
my ass groove.
All right, $ .
Sold.
A pleasure doing
business with you.
Jim, will you give me a hand
with this out to the car?
Unh-unh!
The only way you're
getting this chair
Is if you can pry it
out from underneath
my cold, dead butt!
[Playing harmonica]
So, are you gonna
sit in that chair
for the rest of your life?
That's my plan.
What about your job?
This is my job now.
Who's gonna pay you
to sit, jim?
Cheryl, if you're good
enough at something,
The money will find you.
How could you sell
my chair?!
When exactly did it
become your chair?
I don't know.
When we got married.
Oh, I see?
So when we got married,
Everything that was mine
automatically became ours.
Yes!
[Sighs]
Jim, when we got married,
we made a deal.
You'd work,
and I'd quit my job
and raise the kids.
You wanted to do that.
I did, and I love it.
But what you said
to me last night
Made me feel like I'm
somehow less important
Because I don't
bring home a paycheck.
What I do
is not nothing.
I am turning out people,
and they poop, jim.
They poop a lot!
Okay.
Maybe...
Just maybe...
I...shouldn't have said,
you know,
That thing last night.
Why, because
you didn't mean it,
Or because
it started a fight?
Because--
Which answer won't get
us in another fight?
You know, technically,
jim, you were right.
You do make the money.
Thank you.
But we both earn it.
All right, hold on.
I think I know what's
important to you.
Oh, that's nice.
Tell me what it is.
Respect.
E-e-e-e-equ--
E-e-equality.
Mm-hmm.
Poop.
Lots of poop.
[Chuckles]
I get it, honey.
Close enough.
Come here.
Oh!
Come on, I miss you.
[Laughs]
Come here.
[Kiss]
Remember the time
we used to sit in this
chair in your apartment
And watch tv
and eat popcorn
and laugh?
Ohh. I never got
any popcorn, jim.
Yeah.
You know, I really do
want to go to italy.
We're in italy
right now.
We're in one of those canoes
in the canal.
♪ O solo mio ♪
Wow, honey, venice
is really beautiful.
It is, isn't it?
Yeah.
Hey, how you doin'?
Forget about it!
[Laughs]
This is my baby
right here.
Hey, honey, let's go
to one of those cafes
In san marco square.
Okay. But first--
first, watch out!
Here comes the running
of the bulls!
Honey, we really
need to talk.