07x09 - The Senior Play

[bunniefuu]

You said, at the meeting, that
you were going to tell her.

Well, one of you
tell me.

Well, we were hoping,
maybe, we could do

something different
this year.

Because we always
send away for one

of those plays
in the catalog.

Something about a farmer
or a wood nymph or something.

Yeah, let's do
something that's fun.

Well, we're certainly
going to try.

It's the basic idea
that makes the show

a success or a failure.

You know what we'd really
like to do, miss crump?

Hello, everybody.
Hello, Helen, dear.

Nice of you to help
us this year.

Oh, I'm looking
so forward to it.

Isn't Mr. Hampton coming?

Yes, he's right out
in the hall.

Well, well, well.Ght out
good morning.All.

Good morning.

We were all
just expressing

high hopes for
the senior play.

Well, it certainly
looks like we have

all the necessary
ingredients for it.

Miss crump,
I understand

you've had quite
some experience

with this
sort of thing.

Well, I was
in a few plays at college.

And, of course, we can
always count on miss Vogel

and her fine
home economics class

for some
wonderful costumes.

Thank you.

Uh, Howard, how do
the finances look?

Well, the budget is
rather anemic

but I think
we'll make it all right.

We didn't plan on spending

too much money.

Just for scenery
and costumes.

That's good.

Well, have you
given any thought

as to the type of show
you want to do?

We've sort of an idea.

You see...

I've been
thinking about it

and I do have
a suggestion.

Fine. Let's hear it.

I think this would be

very interesting
and informative.

Oh?

A series of skits

depicting great
moments in history.

Oh, that sounds
like a wonderful idea.

Just picture this.

The great
explorer balboa

trudging up the
mountainside.

He reaches the top

pauses to catch his
breath and then stands

thunderstruck.

Before him lies
the pacific ocean.

Good, good, good.

Or Samuel b. Morse

huddled over
his newly invented telegraph

tapping out his immortal message

"what... hath...
God... wrought?"

Oh, that could
be a smash.

Mr. Hampton,
what we were
thinking about...

We were thinking
about something with music.

Music?

Well, possibly we
could have a choral group

behind balboa and morse.

Oh, no, we mean
an entir musical.

Sketches, songs, dances.

Well, now, I'm afraid

that would be quite
an undertaking.

We could do it,
Mr. Hampton.

Miss crump, uh, how do
you feel about that?

Well... a musical
sounds exciting.

I don't believe you've
ever done one before.

No. That's why
we'd like to do it.

Well, now, do you
think you could handle

something like that?

We could certainly try.

Well...

If we are all in agreement,
it's settled.

It'll be a musical.

Great!

And good luck.

Well, uh...

Helen's going to help
the kids out, eh?

Hmm?

I say, Helen's going to help
the kids with their play.

Oh, yeah.

She's a wonderful girl.

Yeah.

Salt of the earth.

Mm-hmm.

You're lucky.

Yeah, I know.

You don't know what play
they're going to do?

What?

I say, you don't know
what play they're going to do?

No. Helen says
they got something worked out

but she wants
to keep it a surprise.

You ought to be able
to get it out of her.

She won't tell me.

All I know is it's
got music in it.

Oh, I like that!

Say, you know what
you ought to do?

What?

Talk Helen into doing
the mikado.

Oh, it's beautiful.

The mikado?

What's that?

That's the play we did

when I went to high school,
and I was in it.

I didn't know
you was a actor, Floyd.

You was in a dramatic club?

The backbone.

The mikado, huh?

Yeah...

Oh, it's a wonderful play.

Lots of ginger.

What's it about?

Well, it all took place
in this little town

called titipu.

Come on, Floyd, be serious.

Well, I am serious.

Now, this is in Japan, see

and the lord high
executioner was ko-ko

and there was these
two other fellas.

There was
pooh-bah and pish-tush.

Look, Floyd, if you don't
want to tell me...

Well, I am telling you.

Do you want to hear this
or not?

Go ahead.

Well, all right.

Now, there was
another fella, too

and he was a sort of
a wandering guitar player

and he was in love

with yum-yum

and his name
was nanki-poo.

Nanki

why don't you talk her
into doing it?

Oh, they'd love it.

Well, I would,
but they

already started
something else.

Yeah, but the songs
are so beautiful.

Oh, they're Beau...

Listen.

* a wandering minstrel, I

* a thing of shreds
and patches *

* of ballads, songs,
and snatches *

* of dreamy lullaby

* my catalog is long

* to every passion ranging

* and to your humors
changing... *

Floyd, I've got to go.

You'd leave
without me finish...

Oh, I loved it
up to there.

I'll see ya.

More, Floyd, more.

* a wandering
minstrel, I *

* a thing of shreds
and patches *

* patches

* of ballads, songs,
and snatches *

* sna--

* and dreamy lullaby

* ...By.

Well, at least you
could've told me sooner!

Well, I told you we
didn't have very much.

But --

what's happening?

Well, we need money
for sets and materials

and Howard tell me
there's only $

in the treasury, and that
won't buy anything!

What are we
going to do, Andy?

I don't know.

Why don't you make it
a do

hey, that's an excellent
idea, Andy.

Oh, of course.
Thank you, Andy.

Who else would just pitch in,
without even being asked?

I didn't mean me.
You're sweet.

Now, wait a minute,
Helen!

I'll see you
in the auditorium

at : , Andy.

Now, I won't be there,
and that's final!

Boy, ain't
this exciting?

Yeah, I don't know
when I had a better time.

Me neither.

Boy, show business
sure is exciting.

Yeah, gets in your blood,
doesn't it?

Yep. I bet if
everybody in town

knew how much fun
we was having

they'd be down here
trying to get our jobs.

Boy, that'd be a shame.

Yeah.

You know I always
wanted to be in
show business.

Yeah?

Yeah. Doing
my imitations.

Oh.

You haven't seen
them in a long
time, have you?

Goob, uh...
Watch this.
Watch this.

Chester.

Huh?

Good, goob.

Watch this.

:
Okay, you guys

all right, you guys,
let's go, you guys.

Who was that?

Floyd?

No. Edward g. Robinson.

Oh, good.

Hey, now,
my big finish.

Cary Grant.

Ready?

Judy, Judy, Judy.

Huh?

Andy, there's not one
bit of theater in you.

Oh, oh, Andy,
that's just fine.

Goober, very
professional job.

Thanks, Helen.

Is that one
of the costumes?

Oh, yes.

Oh, hold it up,
estelle.

Like it?

Yeah. It's pretty.

Kind of old-fashioned,
isn't it?

Definitely.

Andy, I can hardly wait
for you to see the show.

It's got musical numbers,
skits and everything.

You'll love it.

This is a number
I'm particularly proud of.

Oh, good.
Oh, come on.

Here, you hold it.
We'll show you the minuet.

Come on, let's
do it, okay?

Okay?

Oh, no, no.

No, no, wait.

This is the minuet.

It's supposed to be slow,
dignified and graceful.

Homer, when you bow

it's got to be deep
and courtly.

Estelle, the same thing
for you.

When you curtsey,
deep.

You ever see
a minuet, Andy?

Not lately.

Must be one of them
new kind of dances.

Well, if that's a sample
of what they're going to do,

the show doesn't sound like
it's going to be

any great shakes,
to me.

Good.

What?

Anh!

Well, the budget does
show a slight deficit,

but nothing serious.

That's good.

And, of course,
Andy and goober

have done a lot of work

that we might otherwise
have had to pay for.

There's nothing like
community spirit.

You know, I'm sorry
I was unable

to follow up
on that show.

What kind
of a musical

did they finally
decide to do?

Well, to tell you the truth,
Mr. Hampton

I don't know myself.

Miss crump seems to want
to keep it a secret.

Must be something
quite novel.

Say, aren't they having
a dress rehearsal today?

Yes, I believe so.

Well, why don't we pop down
and have a look at it.

Miss crump doesn't want
anyone to see it yet.

Can't do any harm.

Shall we?

Oh, now, remember, Charlie

keep that center spot on
until cue number three.

All right, kids,
I'll give you the signal.

Well, keep your
fingers crossed.

Miss crump?

Oh, Mr. Hampton.

We just thought
we'd see a rehearsal.

Oh. Well, we did want it
to be a surprise.

But... well,
have a seat.

Thank you.

Oh.

Okay, kids,
whenever you're ready.

Charming.
Thank you.

* in days of old

* the minuet was once
the big attraction *

* fair ladies swooned

oh...

* and strong men wept

* so beautiful the action

* but shed no tear
for powdered wig *

* or gents in silken pants

* 'cause nowadays
to make the scene *

* you really got to dance!

It's great.

Miss crump, is
this your idea?

Yes, sort of.

Stop it! Stop it,
do you hear?!

What's the matter,
Mr. Hampton?

What's the matter?

Do you dare sit here

and watch that
disgraceful exhibition

and ask me
what's the matter?

Get off that stage,
all of you.

Get off of the stage
and go home!

There is nothing
the matter

with the way
they're dancing.

A flagrant display like that.

Typical of all the problems
we're suffering

with our young people today

and you say there's
nothing wrong?!

You're supposed to be a teacher.

We depend on you to lift

the standards
of our young people

not hasten
their decadence.

What are you...?

Hold on,
Mr. Hampton.

You may not like
their dancing

but don't go
blaming Helen.

Well, I certainly
do blame her.

We have
enough trouble

with the younger
generation

without having it
encouraged by teachers.

There is nothing
the matter

with the younger generation
that I can see.

Then perhaps you're not
as observant as you ought to be.

Perhaps you're
not the kind

of a person we should have
teaching in our schools.

Wait a minute.

I won't discuss it
any further

with either of you.

As long as I'm principal
of this school

there'll not be any

of what you call
dancing done here.

If that's the kind
of entertainment

you're planning
to present, there will be

no senior play
this year.

Mister --

Yes, but he --

just calm down.

Now, try to
forget about it.

Well, I've never had anybody
talk to me like that before!

I know. I don't know why he
had to fly off the handle.

How could he be
so narrowminded?

I'll tell you what--

let's... let's
just pretend

that he doesn't even
live here, hmm?

Hi.
Oh, hi.

Sorry to pop in on you
like this

but estelle and homer
have been pleading with me

to see if there's something
we can't do about the show.

The kids are all busted up.

After all the work
everybody put in.

I know. I'm
so sorry.

We were thinking if you
could meet with Mr. Hampton

and try to explain
things to him.

I don't think
it's too good an idea

for her to go over there.

There's always
the possibility

he might have mellowed.

There's not much chance of that.

Couldn't we try
anyway

I don't want her

to go over there
and get yelled at again.

I might say something
to him I'd regret.

Well, maybe
he won't yell.

Oh, could we try,
please, miss crump?

It's a good show.

We're going to have
to be very diplomatic.

If we want to get anywhere
at all with Mr. Hampton

we can't afford
to antagonize him.

I hadn't planned on snapping
his suspenders, Howard.

Well, I wasn't talking
about you, Andy.

I mean, uh...

Well, I was just hoping that...

You needn't worry
about me, Howard.

I'll be calm.

Oh, good.

Morning, Mr. Hampton.

Mr. Hampton.

Good morning.

Well...

Well...

If you don't
mind, I'd like

to get this over with
as quickly as possible.

We'll try not to take
too much of your time.

I must say, I
can't understand

why you even asked
for this meeting.

I thought I had made
myself perfectly clear

in my position
yesterday.

Yes, yes, but...
Well, we thought

perhaps we could
talk it over a little more.

Go ahead, but I
think it's a sheer
waste of time.

If you'll just
hear us out

I think we can

make sense to you.

Andy...

Would you like to
start the ball rolling?

Uh, well, we... we...

I would like to know
why you're making such a fuss

over a perfectly normal dance

that every teenager
in this country is doing.

Uh, what miss crump means
is that possibly

this could be compared
to a type of folk dance.

These gyrations
cannot be compared

to any civilized dancing

done by anybody
since the caveman.

What Mr. Hampton means
is that sometimes these dances

take a little time
to become accepted.

Accepted

there are still
some people who think

the automobile's
just a passing fad!

What miss crump means...

That's not what
I meant, Howard.

Perhaps I oversimplified.

I know what she meant.

What Mr. Hampton means...

Stop telling her
what I mean.

So long as the education
of these children

is my responsibility,
they'll be taught

to behave like
decent human beings.

There's nothing indecent
in the whole show.

I'm even more
surprised at you

than I am miss
crump, sheriff.

At least you do have a son
to raise.

Are these the kind of dances
you're teaching him?

I probably would if
I knew how to do 'em.

There's no point in
discussing it further.

For your information,
miss crump,

I used to be young myself,
and I enjoyed dancing,

but in my generation

we at least
managed to retain

a semblance of
propriety and dignity.

In my day, we managed
to enjoy the social graces

without all this wild,
frantic activity

that you seem to feel
is so necessary.

Good day.

Would you like to tell us
what he meant, Howard?

He means there'll
be no show.

You may be wrong
about that.

What?

We may just do
a show after all.

Put that over
stage-right.

Oh, put that down in
the boys' dressing room.

My costume, miss crump,
I can't find my costume!

Well, look in your
dressing room, estelle!

For heaven's sakes,
let's not panic.

Look, if you're not
in the first act,

get down
in the dressing room.

Oh.

How you doing?

Oh, nervous.

Choose a dangerous course of
action -- you're gonna be.

I guess.

Well, let's just
hope for the best.

I appreciate your coming,
Mr. Hampton.

Well, I agreed
to watch

a revised version
of your show

but I'm afraid it
won't do any good.

Well, all I ask
is that you

sit through this
dress rehearsal.

I certainly
don't want to
be a dictator

but this time,
the decision
will be final.

That is fair enough.

Excuse me.

All right, kids,
you ready?

Ready, miss crump.

Take it from
the top.

We hear so much
of the good old days

when youngsters
knew their places

when children practiced dignity

and quiet social graces.

Not like
today's children.
I should say not.

Have you seen the
way they dance?
Disgraceful.

I wish we could
show them how it was

when kids really
knew how to act.
Well, why not?

We're going to reverse the clock

and take you back to see

how different
from the kids today

our elders used to be.

The time--

your generation!

I, uh...

I gather I'm supposed
to get a message from this.

That's right.

In other words,
you're trying to tell me

that today's dancing

is no different
than it was in my day.

Yes, but I'm trying
to tell you more than
that, Mr. Hampton.

I'm trying to say that
this period of life

which we all go through--
the teenage period--

is a very frightening time.

It's got its fears and its
doubts and its curiosities...

And they come to us

and they say, "I want...
I need to express myself

in my own way."

In this case,
the frug.

In my day,
the jitterbug.

In your day,
the Charleston

or black bottom,
or whatever.

And we continue
to say to them,
"well, certainly

"if you have some little
thing you want to express

"you go right
ahead and tell me.

"But you tell me
in my language

and what I
want to hear."

Well, Mr. Hampton,
I think it would
be very good

if occasionally,
we said to them

"yes, you can do it
in your own way

and I'll help."

And I contend,
Mr. Hampton

that those youngsters
are every bit

as moral and sane
and stable

as we adults feel
ourselves to be.

You know, miss crump...

I'm inclined
to agree with you.

Go ahead and
do your show

and I'm sure
we'll all enjoy it.

Did you really like
the show, Andy?

Now tell me the truth.

Yeah,
it was all right.

It was better than that,
and you know it!

Oh, it was fabulous.

The audience seemed
to like it.

I was listening
to the people out front.

The whole thing is
a triumph.

I think it's the best
show we've ever had.

Well, thank you
so much!

You know, miss crump,

I haven't danced
in quite some time,

but I'm certainly
willing to try.

It'd be my pleasure,
Mr. Hampton.

Oh!