01x10 - If You Can't Take the Heat..

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Total Drama". Aired: July 8, 2007 to present.*
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Canadian animated comedy of teenagers who compete in a reality show in parody of reality shows.
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01x10 - If You Can't Take the Heat..

Post by bunniefuu »

chris: last time on total drama island.

our competitors became hunters and the hunted.

owen's game was way off

and when he finally caught wind

of his prey, he totally blew it.

and cody made a new friend,

who quickly beat the crap out of him.

can anyone say medevac?

in a weird and strangely watchable twist, leshawna,

lindsay, beth, and heather

turn their paintball g*ns on each other.

it was a full on wrestle for dominance

within the females of the gopher squad.

and the gophers were sent to the bonfire.

in the end, however, it was cody who got the shot.

the gophers are still the underdogs.

Can they bounce back,

Or is their goose finally cooked?

Find out tonight on total drama island.

chorus: ♪ dear mom and dad, i'm doing fine ♪

♪ you guys are on my mind ♪

♪ you asked me what I wanted to be ♪

♪ and now I think the answer is plain to see ♪

♪ I want to be famous ♪

♪ I want to live close to the sun ♪

♪ well pack your bags cause I've already won ♪

♪ everything to prove nothing in my way ♪

♪ I'll get there one day ♪

♪ 'cause I want to be famous ♪

♪ nana na'na naana nana nana na nana nana na ♪

♪ I want to be, I want to be, i want to be famous ♪

♪ I want to be, I want to be, i want to be famous ♪

(whistling I want to be famous)

(Snoring)

Hello.

Aah!

Not cool, harold man.

Not cool.

Those aren't mine.

Oh, right.

You're always leaving your gitch lying around.

No, I'm not. Gosh.

Huh. Yeah, you are, dude.

You have like, absolutely no proof.

No one else wears that kind, dude.

And your mom sewed your name onto the label.

Whatever. I'm going for a shower.

Hey, don't forget to clean the skid maker.

I think harold needs to be taught a lesson, boys.

Who's with me?

all: yeah!

Today's challenge will test your minds, your teamwork,

And your skills in the kitchen.

You'll be cooking a three-course meal

And serving it to me for tasting.

The winners get a reward.

The losers will send somebody home.

each team will appoint a head chef

to create the theme of the meal and to oversee the cooking.

To cook, you need ingredients.

every morning, a truck brings us food.

today's task starts there.

(Dolphin squeaks)

We could do a k*ller italian theme.

Hello, head chef.

Seriously?

Then let's get grabbing.

Head chef, called it.

Try not to screw up this time, okay?

Just ignore her, girl.

I had to take the leadership role.

Hello! We're on a losing streak.

And really, everyone else on the team is pretty useless.

Sweet. Let's hit the road.

Leshawna, mangoes.

Beth, pineapples.

Lindsay, macadamias.

Trent, molasses.

Gwen, tomatoes.

Okay. We got, like, three courses and six people.

so everybody partner up.

I know how to make pasta sauce.

I know how to boil pasta.

Me and sadie can rock the antipasto.

I'm like a black belt when it comes to cutting cheese.

(All laugh)

-Cheese. -What?

What?

I guess that leaves you and me on dessert detail.

Oh, no.

No way.

Come on, courtney, for the team.

He's totally unmotivated.

And he never washes his hands.

He's so obnoxious.

(Video fast forwarding)

Owning sunglasses doesn't automatically make you cool--

(Video fast-forwards)

People like that are so annoying.

I mean, honestly, who does that?

And don't even get me started on his hair.

(Geoff chuckles)

Uh, where do you want the water, brid--oops!

Hey! Smooth move, dork-ahontas.

Oh, bummer.

Better go change, dude.

(Snickering)

heather: gwen, lindsay,

You're on the citrus macadamia upside-down-cake flambe.

Know how to make an upside-down flamer thingy?

Ugh!

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

aah!

Go back to the truck and get more oranges.

I'm on it.

Trent, you and owen are on ribs.

Leshawna and beth,

You're on pineapple skewers and mango dip.

Girl, let me handle the appetizers.

I know how to make a pineapple chutney

That would melt the socks off the devil.

Oh, really?

Well, that's so great.

But since I'm head chef, we're gonna stick to my plan.

And my plan is pineapples with sticks through them.

Got it?

Shirt, shirt, shirt.

Looks like it's your time to shine.

(Panting)

Oh!

(Hornets buzzing)

No! Ow! Ooh!

Aah! Aah!

(Geoff whistles)

I think he digs you.

Maybe.

He is kind of cute.

You know, you look good when you're cooking dinner,

Kind of like my friend evan's really hot mom.

Excuse me?

Geoff.

Why don't you go get us some more tomatoes, dude?

Sure thing, bud.

Later, bridg.

It's okay, everyone.

I'm back. (Chuckles)

Trent, heads up.

Oops.

Things are going perfectly,

Except for owen's hornet stings and trent's concussion,

Which means he's out of today's challenge.

But, still, this challenge is totally ours.

Careful your big paws don't mash the pastry.

Careful your uptight butt doesn't curdle the custard.

Oh, ha ha ha.

-(Door opens) -aah!

Okay, who took all my shorts? (All laugh)

Eee.

Three hours and counting, guys.

These slices are totally uneven.

Switch places with leshawna.

What are you talking about?

They look fine to me.

Um, I didn't get to be head chef

Because of poor presentation.

No, you got to be head chef because you called it.

And who you think you're fooling

With that crispy-white-apron power trip you on?

heather: are you gonna be a team player or not?

Ooh, I'm a team player, all right,

But I'm also allergic to pineapples.

Just get slicing.

Now!

Thanks, guys.

Ooh, two-faced, bossy little--argh.

Yo, what do you recommend I do about this?

Yo, I recommend you scratch after we win.

Get back to work.

Argh.

Dude, you got to put some clothes on, man.

It's unsanitary to cook in something that...small.

So give me back my pants then.

Harold's right, guys.

If you go to the cabin,

You'll find a clean pair of underwear

And shorts waiting.

(All laugh)

That's more like it.

(All laugh)

(Sizzling)

My biscuits are burning.

Aah.

Idiots.

What's wrong?

Uh, we used all the flambe syrup,

But it won't flambe.

Nothing happened when you lit it?

Oh.

It's like talking to an eggplant.

Pay attention, girls.

This is how you flambe.

Step one, pour the flambe liquid,

Which you did manage.

Step two of two, light it.

(Snickers)

Aah!

My eyebrows!

Owen?

Is it finally lunchtime?

No. Go get my makeup bag

From the cabin.

But the bees.

now!

leshawna: excuse me.

I need a bathroom break.

Well, evidently, I need new eyebrows.

But we don't always get what we want, do we?

Ugh. It's like I'm on a team of morons.

Oh, that is it.

Someone's got to teach this girl a little respect.

Nice jammies.

This is all I've got left.

So if you sickos want to see me butt naked,

Hit me with your best shot.

Well, stop leaving your butt bags all over the cabin,

And we'll back off.

I told you it wasn't me.

Well, I tried.

Hey, guys, I made some sandwiches.

We can chow down while we work.

Oh, sweet.

I'm seriously starving.

this tastes like sweat and lotion.

It's probably the worst sandwich ever.

Gross.

(All laugh)

We'll return all your shorts and panties

When you admit your guilt, dude.

(Hornets buzzing)

(Gasps)

Aah!

oh, come on!

Don't just stand there. Give it.

Verble gerbil face pack.

Hey!

Beth.

Give me.

leshawna: in the fridge.

Oops.

No!

(Door closes)

Hey, you can't do this, I'm head chef!

Do you think heather's really mad at us?

i will destroy you! (banging on door)

She'll get over it.

Girl needs to learn how to chill.

You're such a slob.

They all have to have the same amount of custard.

Oh, relax, they're fine.

You know, you'd be a lot more fun

Without that pole up your butt.

I'm, like, the most easygoing person I know.

Oh, yeah, you're totally laid-back.

(Gasps)

(Giggles)

Man, that girl creases me.

I dig that in a chick.

Duncan and me?

Right, as if.


I'm so sure.

Not in a million years.

Ple-ase, when pigs fly.

leshawna: yo, you still busy protesting in there,

or can someone else have a turn?

Like I was saying, not gonna happen.

Your meal is coming right up, sir.

Back in a sec with your meal, dude.

I mean, sir.

-(Both sniff) -(laughs)

We might just win this thing yet, y'all.

Owen, guard the food.

All right, let's do this.

Okay.

Looking good, you guys.

(Chuckles)

Really good.

Oh? What's that, mr. Ribs?

You feel a bit lopsided?

Oh, mama, that's good!

Oh, now this side looks a little fat.

Your antipasto passed the test-o.

Pass the pasta, please.

(Slurps)

On a scale of to , !

How will the gophers respond?

(Gasps)

(Gasps)

leshawna: tell me you did not

just eat that entire plate of ribs!

Yeah, this looks like it's, uh, been eaten.

Not all of it.

I think there's a tiny chunk left on that bone over there.

chris: yeah, there.

You know what?

I've had worse.

-Two points. -Yeah!

Ooh, close, owen.

But the bass still lead - .

Time for dessert.

Eh, six.

The bass have ,

So the gophers need all points

Just to tie it up.

I have to say this dessert looks like a winner.

Ooh, that's not good.

(Gagging)

Hang on, there.

Yes, got it!

Ew.

What the heck is this?

It's heather's recipe.

(Gasps)

Oh, my gosh! She's still in the fridge.

What? Girl was making everyone trip.

Oh, I hear that.

(Gasps)

Oh, the horror!

You guys are s-s-s-o dead.

Is it over?

It is.

The bass win, to .

And it's not just 'cause I almost died.

The ribs sucked, too.

Great. That's just great.

Why do we keep losing, people?

And what is this?

I didn't approve this.

I brought it back as a souvenir, you know,

From the other island.

You did what?

You mean boney island,

The deadliest island in muskoka,

The one I specifically said

Not to take anything from or you'll be cursed?

Yeah.

I didn't know. I'll put it back.

Okay, the k*ller bass now lead with seven members

To the gophers' soon to be six.

And as promised,

The winners will be enjoying a reward tonight--

A five-star dinner under the stars.

Nice!

-(Cheers) -way to go, guys.

-Right on. -Put me down.

Put me down!

I don't know about y'all, but heather has got to go.

Yeah, but beth cursed us with that wooden tiki-doll thingy.

Hmm, true.

Dear, curse, please hit heather next.

And if possible, hit her upside the head.

You know, lindsay,

I could convince the team to vote you off tonight.

You were a major traitor.

But you did let me out of the fridge,

So I'll give you one more chance

If you vote with me tonight.

There, see? All better.

Oh, and if you ever team up with leshawna

Against me again,

I'll cut off all your hair while you're sleeping.

Today's vote was really hard, but only because there were

So many annoying people to choose from.

I can't believe we locked her in the fridge!

That was so cool.

She's not going to see this, is she?

Leshawna is a royal pain in the butt.

And owen completely screwed up everything for us.

Her eyebrows look so bad.

I'd kind of like to vote heather off, but--

I vote for beth.

(Burps)

I've got seven gophers sitting in front of me tonight,

But only six fluffy bits of sweet safety in my hands,

So good luck.

When I call your name, come up and get your marshmallow.

Leshawna.

Owen.

gwen.

trent.

Lindsay.

heather, beth,

Down to you.

Whoever doesn't get this last marshmallow

Must immediately walk the dock of shame

And leave on the boat of losers forever.

the final marshmallow goes to...

Heather.

You heard him. Boat of losers, that away.

That really was stupid of you to take that doll

From the island.

See you, girl.

That's it for tonight.

And you might want to burn some sage

To get rid of any lingering curse vibes.

Cool, will chef give us some sage?

Nope. So... Good luck with that.

(Wolf howls)

(Snoring)

(All laugh)

All: good morning, harold.

(Gasps)

So, learned your lesson yet?

Yes! Okay!

Yes!

Oh, we're gonna need more than that, man.

I'll never leave my crusty underwear out again.

I swear.

What the heck, I believe him.

It's a pleasure doing business with you.
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