Bugs Bunny/Road-Runner Movie, The (1979)

[bunniefuu]

[Sniff sniff]

[Sniff sniff]

Road-runner: beep beep!

Bugs bunny: oh, no, you don't.

Bugs bunny: ♪ be it pleasures and palaces ♪

♪ Though I may roam

♪ Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home ♪

♪ Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home ♪

Oh! How do you do?

Nice--nice of you to drop by me humble abode.

My name is bunny.

Bugs bunny, esquire, to be exact.

Ah...

[Munching]

One of the back bay bunnies...

Uh, back bay of brooklyn, that is.

I have also been known by other flattering names.

For instance, I'm called "that wascally wabbit"

By a certain e.-- Elmer fudd, who has spent many fruitless and rather frustrating years chasing me.

I have also been know as...

"That ornery, carrot-eating varmint"

By a certain yosemite sam, who for some reason hates rabbits.

I can't imagine why.

What started all this chasing?

When was the very first chase?

Well, in order to answer that question, we'll have to swing back in time a little bitty bit.

In the beginning, all was peaceful and quiet.

Quite dark, too.

Oh, once in a while, a star exploded...

But usually it was just a small one, only a million miles or so in diameter.

Anyway, nobody complained, which was odd, until you realized that there wasn't nobody around to complain.

So for about 15-20 billion years, things went along smoothly and pleasantly until one day, very deep in a sixth-rate galaxy called the milky way, circling around a fourth-rate star called the sun, on a tenth-rate planet, a strange creature appeared, a strange creature called man.

I'll take it.

Bugs: and so neanderthal person quickly invented the first chase...

[Thud]

And the first competition...

[Thud]

And the first love...

[Thud]

And the first women's lib...

And the first domesticity and the first boredom.

[Yawns]

[Yawns]

And so neanderthal persons, in order to alleviate boredom, invented the first graffiti.

What's on the wall tonight, dear?

Same old stuff: westerns, sitcoms, soaps.

Bugs: and so the invention of boredom led to the invention of moving pictures.

But after about 25,000 years of this and having developed severe cricks in their necks, man and woman became bored again, even with all those brilliant, ultramodern, innovative ideas, like the first motion-picture cameras.

I'm kind of tired of documentaries.

Frankly, I wouldn't mind a few laughs myself.

Bugs: and so it came to pass that comedy was invented, and comedy begat pratfalls...

And custard pies...

And double takes.

But most of all, comedy begat chases.

And chases begat chases...

And chases...

And chases and chases...

Until the mind boggleth.

And then one day, another strange and historic creature appeared:

Me.

Ok, wabbit, now I've got you.

Eh... What's up, doc?

Bugs: so you see, that's how chases began, and that's how I came into the picture, just a mild mannered forest creature, shy, easily frightened.

A quiet-living rabbit am i.

And yet...

I guess in a way I am an unusual rabbit on account of, uh...instead of having hundreds of children, like your ordinary run-of-the-mill rabbit, I had several fathers, fathers with odd names, like tex avery...

Uh, friz freleng...

Chuck jones...

And bob mckimson, the ones who directed most of me pictures.

Fathers like tedd pierce, warren foster, and mike maltese, who wrote most of me biography.

And of course a father named mel blanc, who had thousands of voices and was nice enough to give me one of them.

This show you're gonna see now is about what just one of those fathers did with me and me cartoon associates, an animation director who goes by the unlikely name of chuck jones.

And old chuck seemed determined to get poor little old me into outer space, too.

Gad! What a night!

I'll never mix radish juice and carrot juice again.

[Smacking lips]

Yech.

Brr! I hope the lake's warmed up a little this morning.

[Yawns]

Announcer: 10, 9, 8...

[Yawns]

Bugs: whew! Wow! The hole seems long this morning.

Announcer: ...3, 2, 1, fire!

Bugs: holy cow! I thought I'd never reach the top of this.

Hey, who plugged up the hole?

Why, the sun ain't even out yet.

No wonder I'm so slee--py.

[Whoosh]

Yikes! What was that? Oh!

Well, ask a silly question.

[Beeping]

[Boing]

Something tells me I should have stood in bed.

Where the heck am i, anyways?

Well, wherever it is, I don't like it, and I'm getting out of here.

Hey, maybe that character wearing a spittoon can help me.

At last, after 2,000 years of work, the aludium pu-36 expl*sive space modulator.

Eh, pardon me, sir, but could you--

At long last, my dream come true.

Hey, doc, wait!

I want to ask you something.

Ah...pardon me, doc, but could you rent me a u-drive flying saucer?

I've got to get back to the earth.

Oh, well, don't bother, then.

No point in wasting money on a flying saucer when the earth's not gonna--

Clang!

Ah, pardon me again, doc, but just what did you mean by that crack about the earth being gone?

Oh, I'm going to blow it up.

It obstructs my view of venus.

It does? That's a shame.

[Fuse sizzling]

Where's the ka-boom?

There was supposed to be an earth-shattering ka-boom.

The aludium pu-36 expl*sive space modulator!

That creature has stolen the space modulator!

Delays, delays.

Capture that creature and return the aludium pu-36 expl*sive space modulator.

[Engines revving]

[Tires screech]

[Screech]

Yoo-hoo!

[Whistles]

Well, that's that.

Oh, dear.

Now I shall have to create more martians.

Hey!

This martian hot rod better get at least a million miles to the gallon.

The earth ain't just across the street.

Oh, goody! My aludium pu-36 expl*sive space modulator.

[Ka-boom]

Well, back to the old drawing board.

Boy, it's really wonderful to be back in civilization.

[Splash]

[Rumbling]

Run for the hills, folks, or you'll be up to your armpits in martians.

[Rumbling]

As you can see, being a rabbit is not just a bed of carrots.

But other people--

If you want to call a duck people--

Had close encounters with that little martian, too, as the ensuing, gripping, and nerve-tingling drama now demonstrates.

I have sent for you, dodgers, because we are facing a crisis.

The world's supply of aludium fosdex--

The shaving cream atom--

Is alarmingly low.

Now, we have reason to believe that the only remaining source is on planet x...

Somewhere in this area.

And you want me to find planet x, is that it?

Can you do it, dodgers?

Oh, indubitably, sir, because there's no one knows his way around outer space like duck dodgers in the 24th and a half century!

[Whistling through space]

[Thud]

[Electrical crackling]

Are you ready, eager young space cadet?

I'm r-r-r--all set, your heroship, sir.

Then make way for duck dodgers in the 24th and a half century!

[Engine whirs]

Oops! Ha ha! Had the silly thing in reverse.

And now, then, eager young space cadet, here is the course we shall pursue to find planet x.

Starting from where we are, we go 33,600 turbo miles due up.

Then west in an astro arc deviation to here.

Then, following the great circle, 7 radial loops south by down east...

By astral astrobal to here, here, and here.

Then by space navigable compass to here, here, and then to here and here...

And thus to our destination.

Now do you know how to reach planet x?

Ah, y-y-y-y-y-- oh, sure.

Well, I wish you'd explain it to me sometime, buster.

W-w-well, it's very simple, sir.

If we follow those planets, we can't very well miss planet x.

Ha ha ha! Oh, that's ridiculous.

Of all the stupid suggestions.

[Laughing]

Uh, hey, wait a minute. I think I've got it.

I'll just bet that if we follow those planets, we'll find planet x.

Gad! How do I do it?

I d-d-don't know.

I claim this planet in the name of the earth.

I claim this planet in the name of mars.

Er...isn't that lovely? Hmm?

Look, bud, I've got news for you.

I have already claimed this bit of dirt for the earth, and there just ain't room enough on this planet for the two of us.

I do believe you are right.

Huh! Little does he realize that I have on my disintegration-proof vest.

You may fire when ready, grizzly.

Who? What? Where? When? How? Who? Who? What?

Oh, you, huh?

Just when I had him going, you had to butt in.

Well, get back in that spaceship.

Eh, yes, sir, your heroship, uh, sir.

Aha! Got the drop on you with my disintegrating p*stol, and, brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates.

Huh. Well, what do you know?

It disintegrated.

Happy b-b-birthday, you thing from another world, you.

Oh! Thank you!

[Ka-boom]

Duck: well, I guess he's had enough.

I'll send him an ultimatum.

I'll see what the little stinker is up to on my supervideo detecto set.

That's the last straw!

Now I use my secret weapon!

[Ka-boom]

[Ka-boom]

Ha ha ha!

Heh heh heh!

As I was saying, buster, this planet ain't big enough for the two of us, so off you go!

And now this planet is hereby claimed for the earth in the name of duck dodgers in the 24th and a half century!

B-big deal.

Bugs: I don't remember just how daffy got down from planet x.

Maybe they had to sh**t him down.

But anyway, he's back at his old stand as the errol flynn of duckdom.

I remember well the first time he tried to sell himself as the logical successor to errol.

♪ Oh...

♪ Join up with me, so joyous and free ♪

♪ And away to old sherwood hie ♪

♪ For I'm robin hood, and I'm very good ♪

♪ At avoiding the sheriff's eye ♪

♪ So we'll trip along merrily ♪

♪ O'er the greensward so gracefully ♪

♪ To trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it ♪

♪ Trip it up and down

♪ To trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it ♪

Trip it! Trip it! Trip it! Whoops! Trip it! Trip it!

♪ So trip it up and down ♪

[Laughter]

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

h* h* and ha ha, eh?

I'll h* h* and ha ha you, fat friar...

With my trusty quarterstaff!

Actually, it's a buck-and-a-quarter quarterstaff, but I'm not telling him that.

h*! Ha ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha!

Thrust!

Hmm. Let's see, now.

Somethin' amiss here.

Hmm. I'll run through it.

h*! Ha ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha!

Thrust!

Got it.

Now, then...

h*! Ha ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin!

[Friar laughing]

[Laughing]

Oh, knock it off.

How jolly can you get?

P-prithee, o traveling clown, coulds't thou directest me to robin hood's hideout?

I woulds't fain join me up with his band of j-j-jolly outlaws.

Look no further, good friar, for I am he for whoms't thou seekest.

I am robin hood!

Oh, uh, c-c-cut it out. I'm serious.

If you don't know where he is, just say so.

But honest and truly, I am robin hood!

Sure, you are.

[Whack]

Look, give me a chance, can't you?

I'll prove I'm robin hood.

See yon rich, unwary traveler?

I'll rob him of his gold and give it to some poor unworthy slob.

That'll prove that I'm robin hood.

Hmm? Prithee? Hmm?

Now, then, fatso, i-i-i'm watching, jester.

[Whistling]

[Pow]

Why, I don't know how I could have doubted you.

Shall we spend the gold all in one place?

h* h*. Very funny. Ha ha. It is to laugh.

[Yawns]

Yoiks and away!

Yoiks and away!

Yoiks and away!

Yoiks and away.

Yoiks and away. [Thud]

Yoiks and away. [Thud thud]

Why, you...

Now, then...

Aha! Now--

I'm sorry, but I can't join you.

I'm convinced you're just not robin hood.

Never mind joining me. I'll join you.

Shake hands with friar duck.

[Whack]

Bugs: well, daffy decided to have one more shot at the musketeer business, namely, well, uh... See for yourself.

Stand back, musketeers!

They shall sample my blade!

Touche! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!

Musketeers? Huh? En garde?

My blade?

Hey, psst! Whoever's in charge here!

The scenery! Where's the scenery?

Stand back, musketeers! They shall sample my...blade?

Hmm?

Ok, have it your way.

♪ Daffy duck, he had a farm

♪ E-i-e-i-o

♪ And on this farm, he had an igloo ♪

♪ E-i-e-i-o would it be too much to ask if we could make up our minds?

Hmm?

♪ Dashing through the snow

♪ Ya ha ha ha ha

♪ Through the fields we go

♪ Laughing all the way

♪ Farewell to thee, farewell to thee ♪

♪ The wind will carry back our sad refrain ♪

♪ One last embrace before we say-- ♪

Hmm? Hrmph!

Buster, it may come as a complete surprise to you to find that this is an animated cartoon and that in animated cartoons they have scenery, and in all the years I've--

All right, wise guy, where am i?

[No audio]

[Machine-g*n fire]

[Ah-ooga horn]

[Donkey hee-hawing]

[Rooster crows]

[Chicken bawks]

[Chimpanzee chatters]

[Meow]

Aah! Bbblll!

And I've never been so humiliated in all my life!

Look, mack, just what's going on around here?

Let's get organized, hmm?

How about some scenery?

That's dandy. h* h*! That's rich, I'll say.

Now how about some color, stupid?

Hey!

Grrr! Not me, you slop artist!

Well, where's the rest of me?

It isn't as though I haven't lived up to my contract, goodness knows.

I haven't kept myself trim, goodness knows.

I've done that. That's strange.

All of a sudden, I don't quite feel like myself.

Oh, I feel all right, and yet i--i--eek!

You know better than that!

Well?

Hmm? Sea picture, eh?

I always wanted to do a sea epic.

Now, mr. Rembrandt, ♪ over the sea, let's go, men ♪

♪ We're shoving right off, we're shoving right off ♪

Again?

Hey! Come here! Come here! Give me a closeup! A closeup!

This is a closeup?

A closeup, you jerk! A closeup!

Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin.

Now, look, buster, let's have an understanding.

Now what?

Brother! What a way to run a railroad.

Now, then, as I was saying--

Uh! Uh! Uh!

[Panting]

[Thud]

Aah!

All right, let's get this picture started.

No! No!

Listen, pal, let's discuss this thing sanely, huh?

Look, I tell you what.

You go your way, and I'll go mine.

Live and let live. Right? Right.

Ladies and gentlemen, there will be no further delays, so I shall attempt to entertain you in my own inimitable fashion.

Now what?

What are you doing down there?

Down here? What are you doing up there?

Down here.

Listen, bud, if you wasn't me, I'd smack you right in the puss.

Don't let that bother you, jack!

Ok, buddy, you asked for it!

Oh, brother! I'm a buzzboy!

[Crash]

Uh-oh. Time to hit the old silk.

Geronimo!

[Thud]

[Babbling incoherently]

All right, enough is enough!

This is the final, the very, very last straw!

Who is responsible for this--this...

I demand that you show yourself! Who are you? Huh?

Heh heh heh! Ain't I a stinker?

Now, one of the problems I always had with aminators-- animators--

Is that they can't ever seem to tell the difference between a rabbit and a mole.

Very humiliating having to burrow your way wherever you want to go, and somehow, I always forgot to take that left turn at albuquerque.

[Hoofbeats]

[Crowd cheering]

[Bellowing]

[Crowd booing]

Well, here I am!

Hey, just a cotton-picking minute.

This don't look like the koacella valley to me.

Hmm. I knew I should have taken that left turn at albuquerque.

Oh, well. I'll just ask this gent in the fancy knickerbockers.

Eh, I beg your par--

Eh, pardon me, sir, but could you direct me to the shortest route to the koacella valley and the big carrot festival...therein?

Ah...what's up, doc?

[Breathing like a steam locomotive]

Stop steaming up my tail!

What are you trying to do, wrinkle it?

Let's see, now.

Koacella valley.

Hmm.

Then to las vegas, san bernadino--

Of course you realize this means w*r.

[Thud]

[Crowd cheering]

[Clang]

[Crowd roars]

[Sniffs]

Ahh...me public.

Heh heh! What a gulli-bull. [Gullible]

Heh heh! What a nim-cow-poop. [Nincompoop]

Eh, pardon me, mack.

[Crowd cheers]

[Crash]

[Bellows]

[Honk honk]

Ok, toro, whenever you can spare the time.

[Hoofbeats]

Booby trap.

[g*nsh*t]

[g*nsh*t]

Uh-oh.

[g*nshots]

[Clicking]

[Gulps]

Heh heh heh! What an im-becile.

What an ultra-maroon.

Heh heh heh! Uh-oh!

[Skidding]

[Sawing and hammering]

[Bull bellows]

[Crowd cheers]

[Crowd cheers]

Traveling alone can be boring.

Personally, I prefer to travel with some foxy little rabbit chick, like sophia here.

But--ahh--

Unselfish, pushy, self-serving, conceited, self-made favorite of everyone including himself-- daffy duck.

[Hums charge]

Close sesame.

Guard well this treasure, o hasaan, or the jackal shall grow fat on thy carcass.

No one shall pass hasaan.

[Buzzing]

[Clang]

Bugs: ouch!

Open, uh...

Open...

Duh, open, uh, sarsaparilla?

Uh, open saskatchewan?

[Buzzing]

Well, here we are-- pismo beach and all the clams we can eat!

What a way for a duck to travel-- underground.

Hey, wait a minute.

Since when is pismo beach inside a cave?

I wonder...

Uh, then maybe a right turn at la jolla.

Hmm. Ah.

[Purring]

Well, we can't be too far off, so if we...

It's mine, you understand?!

Mine! All mine! Get back in there!

Down! Down! Down! Go! Go! Go! Mine! Mine! Mine!

[Laughing maniacally]

Ah...what's up, duck?

I'm rich! I'm wealthy! Yahoo!

I'm comfortably well-off. Woo-hoo!

Uh, open septuagenarian?

Uh, open saddle soap?

Uh, open sesame?

♪ I'm in the money ♪

♪ La ta, the money ah, redcap.

Uh, call me a cab, boy, and be quick about it.

I'm a heavy tipper.

[Clank]

Ah ha ha ha!

Aah!

Quick, quick! Save me, pal, and it's yours!

Gorgeous, isn't it? Don't be afraid.

Have it appraised anyplace.

Proud punk.

Hasaan chop!

Yeah? Well, chop the rabbit. He brought us here.

Me genie, the light-brown hare.

O mighty genie.

Release me, and I shall grant thee a rich reward.

He's lying! Chop him! Chop him!

Hasaan release you, o master!

[Cork pops]

Thank you, hasaan.

Now, woulds't thou like to have all this treasure for thy very own?

Oh, yes, master. Hasaan like... Hasaan like!

Very well.

Iggity aggity ooh ah-ah!

Ziggity zaggity zoo ah-ah!

Ah-ah ooh-ooh eh-eh ack!

Flippity flapity floop!

It's yours.

Iggity aggity oop!

Oh-oh squeak. Ah-ah...

I don't know.

Daffy: help! Help!

Help, save me, pal! Save me! Help!

Hasaan chop!

Daffy: help! [Sobbing]

Ok, daff, back here.

What's with you anyway?

Daffy: I can't help it. I'm a greedy slob.

It's my hobby. Save me!

Hasaan: hasaan chop!

Him go that-away.

Daffy: is he gone?

Yeah. I got rid of him.

Oh, boy! I'm rich!

I'm wealthy! I'm independent!

I'm socially secure!

I'm rich! I'm rich! I'm rich!

There. I think that's the last of it.

Just a quick check to see if I missed anything.

Hey, what's this? Hmm.

Well, polished up, it might bring another quick four bits on the open market.

I am the genie of the lamp, o master.

Oh, no, you don't! You want my treasure!

Well, it's mine, understand?!

All mine! Down! Down! Go! Go! Mine!

[expl*si*n]

Duck, you have desecrated the spirit of the lamp.

Yipe!

Consequences, schmonsequences.

As long as I'm rich.

I wonder how that crazy duck ever made out with that genie?

Hey, what do you know? A pearl!

It's mine, you understand?! Mine! Mine! All mine!

Go! Go! Go! Mine, do you hear me?!

Out! Out! Out! Mine! Mine! Mine!

Oh, brother! Close sesame.

I'm rich. I'm a happy miser.

I sometimes get the feeling that the entire population of the world is made up of people who want to sh**t, fry, dice, or parboil rabbits and/or ducks.

For instance, old elmer fudd, who, like so many other brave sportsmen, never seems really happy unless he's protecting innocent citizens by sh**ting dangerous forest animals, like rabbits and ducks.

Shh. Be very, very quiet. I'm hunting wabbits.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, boy! Wabbit twacks!

Oh, bugsy. Bugsy, pal.

There's a friend here to see ya.

Survival of the fittest.

And besides, it's fun. Hoo hoo!

Did someone knock?

[g*nsh*t]

Ah...what's up, doc?

Now I got you, you...you...wabbit!

Ha ha ha!

Say, doc, are you trying to get yourself in trouble with the law?

This ain't rabbit hunting season.

It's not?

No. It's duck hunting season.

That, sir, is an inmitigated frabrication.

It's wabbit season!

Duck season!

Wabbit season!

Duck season!

Wabbit season!

Duck season!

Wabbit season!

Wabbit season!

Duck season!

Wabbit season!

I say it's duck season, and I say fire!

Hmm...

Let's try that again.

Ok.

I'll start it this time.

Right.

Wabbit season!

Duck season.

Wabbit season!

Wabbit season!

Duck season! Fire!

Ok, this time, you start it.

Whatever you say.

Wabbit.

Duck!

Fire!

What's the matter? Everything's upside-down.

Strange. Can't make heads or tails of things.

Hey, you! Come back here!

[Click click]

Well, what do you know? No more b*ll*ts.

No more b*ll*ts? Hey, laughing boy, no more b*ll*ts.

No more b*ll*ts?

Here. Let me see that thing.

Hmm.

"One b*llet weft?" Hey, laughing boy, there was--

I know! I know!

Hmm.

Devilishly clever. Uh-oh.

Ah, what's up, doc?

Having any luck with those ducks?

It's duck season, you know?

Just a darn minute. Where do you get that duck season stuff?

Says so right over there on that sign.

You're so smart.

You know what to do with that g*n, doc.

You're despicable.

Yes, you're despicable and-- and pickable, and you're very definitely despicable!

How a person can get so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me.

It isn't as though I haven't met a lot of people.

Goodness knows it isn't that!

It isn't that that's that.

Goodness knows... It isn't...

It's... It's...

Despicable.

Filet of duck bordelaise maitre d'butter.

Yum yum.

Duck polonaise under glass. Mmm-mm.

Rabbit au gratin de gelatin under tooled leather.

Oh, drool, drool.

Barbecued duck meat with broiled duckbill milanese.

Yummy yum!

Chicken-fried rabbit with cottontail sauce braised in carrots.

Mmm-mmm.

I'm sorry, fellows, but I'm a vegetarian.

I just hunt for the sport of it.

Ha ha ha!

Anyone for tennis?

Nice game.

Now, you screwy wabbit, you're next.

[g*nshots]

All right, come out or I'll blast you out!

For shame, doc.

Hunting rabbits with an elephant g*n.

Elephant g*n?

That's right, doc.

You do and I'll give you such a pinch!

Ooh, just wait till I get that screwy wabbit and that screwball duck.

[Sniffing]

[Barking]

Grr!

[g*nsh*t]

Hey, what's the big idea?

Why don't you look where you--huh?

Oh, how simply dreadful.

You poor little man.

Did I hurt you with my naughty g*n?

Aw, shucks.

Well, i, uh...

Ha ha ha!

Grr!

Yeow!

Gypsy, you naughty bow-wow.

Stop that.

Ok, wabbit, I see through that disguise.

Say your prayers.

You, too, duck.

Wabbit season.

Duck season.

Wabbit season.

Duck season.

Wabbit season!

Duck season!

Uh-oh.

[g*nshots]

Shh. Be very, very quiet.

We're hunting elmers.

Ha ha ha!

Now here is a gentleman who knows what chasing is all about.

He lives in france, where all good americans go when they die.

And in france, the onliest reason for chasing anybody is for love.

[Singing in french]

Sacre maroon!

Le help!

Assistance!

Gendarme! Gendarme!

[Speaking french]

Pouf, jose. Gendarme can le fix.

Oh, thank you, le gendarme. Merci beaucoup, le thanks.

Sacre cerise!

Le pew!

[Singing in french]

Quelle terrible odeur!

[Sniffs]

[Humming]

Un smell-e-vous fine.

[Speaking french]

I am ze bankrupt!

Le mew. Le purr.

Ah! Le p*ssy ferocious.

Remove zat skunk--

Zat polecat from ze premises.

Avec!

[Sniffs]

Que les?

Ah! Le belle femme skunk fatale.

Ah, my little darling.

It is love at first sight, is it not?

No?

[Kiss]

Do not come with me to the kasbah.

We shall make beautiful music together right here.

[Speaking french]

[Kissing]

Huh?

This little love.

Now she is seeking for us a trysting place.

Touching, is it not?

Come, my little peanut of brittle.

I will help you.

Wait for me. Wait.

Where are you, pigeon?

I am looking for you.

I am goi--

Huh?

[No audio]

[g*nsh*t]

I missed, fortunately for you.

So now, mon cherie, we can begin life anew.

[Kissing]

C'est la guerre.

Hello, baby.

I am ze locksmith of love, no?

Come, darling. We must be grown-up about this thing.

Do not turn away from ze love.

Here. What is this?

Oh, but of course.

This little one wish to commit suicide to prove her love for me.

What a sweet gesture.

Nevertheless, I must prevent it.

Saved!

Vive l'amour!

We die together.

I am not dead? No.

[Sputtering]

What's this? Is that you, pigeon?

Is that...

Huh?

Oh, pardon, grandmama, but have you seen a beautiful young lady skunk?

Where are you, pigeon? Hmm?

I am looking somewhere to find you.

Yoo-hoo, rabbit.

Where are you, hmm?

Aha. Perhaps you have returned in here.

Are you here, then, golden girl?

[Door slams]

Eh...who is this?

Oh, it is you again.

[Ah-choo]

Eh, what can I do to help you?

[Ah-choo]

Eh...why do you lock ze...

Oh, no!

Control yourself, madame.

You cannot be in earnest.

Heh heh. A joke, yes?

No.

You know, it is possible to be too attractive.

[Piano playing]

[Panting]

The minute waltz played in 30 seconds.

New world record.

There are people who just don't like music, as I found out one day.

♪ On a rainy night in rio

♪ A-rink a-dink a-dink

♪ Oh, starry sky

♪ Where do they go when they can't go for a walk? ♪

♪ Do they stay home and talk

♪ Or do they sit inside?

[Man singing opera]

[Bugs bunny's singing overlapping]

♪ What do they do in mississippi ♪

♪ When skies are drippy?

[Groaning]

Bugs: ♪ and what do they do in tijuana ♪

♪ When they wanna snuggle tight ♪

♪ Well--

Music hater.

[Classical music playing]

[Singing opera]

[Bugs singing]

♪ She's a fancy stepper when she dances ♪

♪ Go and see her as she capers and prances ♪

♪ My gal don't do much talking ♪

♪ Dances even when she's walking ♪

Opera singer: ♪ one and two and three and four ♪

♪ She dances all day long bugs: ♪ oh, my gal is a highborn stepper ♪

♪ Ginger with salt and pepper

♪ She's a fancy stepper when she dances ♪

♪ Go and see her as she capers and prances ♪

Ah...what's up, doc?

Hmm. Also a rabbit hater.

Oh, well.

[Tuba playing]

Uh-oh.

Of course you know this means w*r!

Leopold!

Leopold!

Leopold!

Leopold.

Leopold.

Band: leopold!

[Music stops]

L-l-leopold!

[Music starts]

[Music stops]

[Music starts]

[Music stops]

♪ Ahhhh

♪ Ahhhh

♪ Ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh

♪ Ahhh

♪ Ahhh

♪ Ahhh

♪ Ahhh

♪ La

♪ La

♪ La

[Deep voice] ♪ la

[Rising voice] ♪ ahhh

[Cheering and applause]

[Silence]

[Cracking knuckles]

♪ Ahhh

♪ Ahhh

[Applause]

♪ Ahhh

[Crash]

Well, you either hate opera or you love it.

I love it.

I loved it so much, nibalane--nibalu-- nibelung--

And squashed it down to 7 minutes.

[Thunder]

♪ Be very quiet

♪ I'm hunting wabbits ♪

Wabbit tracks.

♪ k*ll the wabbit

♪ k*ll the wabbit

♪ k*ll the wabbit k*ll the wabbit?

♪ Yohoto

♪ Yohoto

♪ Yohoto

♪ Yoho--

♪ Oh, mighty warrior of great fighting stock ♪

♪ Might I inquire to ask ♪

Ah...

♪ What's up, doc? ♪

♪ I'm going to k*ll the wabbit ♪

♪ Oh, mighty hunter, 'twill be quite a task ♪

♪ How will you do it, might I inquire to ask? ♪

♪ I will do it with my spear and magic helmet ♪

♪ Your spear and magic helmet? ♪

♪ Spear and magic helmet ♪

♪ Magic helmet?

♪ Magic helmet magic helmet.

♪ Yes, magic helmet

♪ And I'll give you a sample ♪

[Fanfare]

[Boom]

Bye.

That was the rabbit.

♪ Oh, brunnhilde

♪ You're so lovely ♪

♪ Yes, I know it

♪ I can't help it ♪

♪ Oh, brunnhilde

♪ Be my love

♪ Return, my love

♪ A longing burns deep inside me ♪

♪ Return, my love

♪ I want you always beside me ♪

♪ Love like ours must be ♪

♪ Me for you and for me ♪

♪ Return

♪ Won't you return, my love? ♪

♪ For my love is yours

I'll k*ll the wabbit!

Arise, storm!

North winds blow!

South winds blow!

Typhoons!

Hurricanes!

Earthquakes!

Smog!

White lightning, strike the wabbit!

What have I done?

I've k*lled the wabbit.

♪ Poor little bunny

♪ Poor little wabbit

Well, what did you expect in an opera, a happy ending?

I will say this for elmer.

He really doesn't want us for food.

He just does it 'cause he's a sportsman.

That's different than some people who go hunting 'cause they're really hungry, like a coyote, for instance, who will eat anything, including me.

[Humming]

[Knock knock]

Ah...what's up, doc?

Allow me to introduce myself.

My name is wile e. Coyote-- genius.

I'm not selling anything nor am I working my way through college.

I--

So let's get down to cases.

You are a rabbit, and I am going to eat you for supper.

Now don't try to get away.

I am more muscular, more cunning, faster, and larger than you are, and...i'm a genius, while you could hardly pass the entrance examinations to kindergarten.

So I'll give you the customary two minutes to say your prayers.

I'm sorry, mack. The lady of the house ain't home, and besides, we mailed you people a check last week.

[Humming]

Why do they always want to do it the hard way?

Wile e., You genius!

You've done it again!

[Humming]

Ah...

What's cookin', doc?

Rabbit stew.

Ha ha ha!

Egad! I'm such a genius!

Mmm! Smells mighty good!

But, uh, there's only one little thing wrong with it.

There is? What?

No rabbit.

♪ I'm looking over a three-leaf clover ♪

♪ That I overlooked be three

Well, back to the old drawing board.

Genius! That's what it is!

Sheer genius!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Wile e. Coyote-- super genius.

[Train whistle blows]

I like the way that rolls out.

Wile e. Coyote--

Super genius.

[Train whistle blows]

Wile e. Coyote--

Super genius.

[Knock knock]

Allow me to introduce myself.

My name is mud.

And remember, mud spelled backwards is dum.

Well, uh, even a genius gets the message after a while and realizes that eating rabbit cooked or raw isn't such a smart idea.

Raw rabbit?

What a revolting idea.

So old wile e. Decided that he'd better pursue something more his size.

For instance...

Beep beep! Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

[Crash]

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

[Crash]

Road-runner: beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

[Crash]

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

[Boom]

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

[Gulp]

Beep beep!

[Crash]

Beep beep!

[Gulp]

[Snickering]

Beep beep!

[Panting]

[Whistling sound]

[Boom]

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

[Hammering]

Beep beep!

Beep beep!

How's that for a big production?

I'll bet even old cecil b. De mille would be jealous of that one.

Well, I'm sure old neanderthal person never envisaged anything like that when he started the very first chase.

But then if he hadn't invented the chase, maybe, just maybe, laughter wouldn't have been invented either, and that, old buddies, would have been a real loss.

Well, who knows?

Maybe...uh, just maybe the whole universe will get the idea, and stars and suns, meteors and comets, even galaxies will realize how necessary laughter is and how much fun chases are.

And...

Beep beep!

Bugs: and finally, all will once again be peaceful and quiet.

Or, uh, will it?

Yes?

Well?

Well, uh, after all, credits where credit is due.

Eat your heart out, burt reynolds.