01x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

-[producer 1] This is the famous diary.
-Yeah.

It looks... It's looking a bit tatty.

-[producer 1] It's looking... Feels heavy.
-Yeah.

I would be lost without it.

It's a running joke
with all me friends now.

As soon as I get on a plane or in a car,
the diary comes out.

It's like tradition, isn't it?
Nails, and the diary book's there.

There's some times they have to say,
"Oh, just put it away."

[♪ Upbeat pop song playing]

Oh, it does me head in, the diary.

It's a nightmare. Everywhere we go.

I sit in many car parks,
sorting out me diary.

-[Kit] Who is in charge?
-[Klay, Cass] Mum.

Dad's scared of Mum.

Wayne. Klay's forgot his blazer.

-Mum throws high heels at him.
-[laughs]

-[producer 1] Does Wayne keep a diary?
-No.

Don't need one.

She puts all my stuff in.
She organizes everything.

Wednesday morning. Is there anything on?

-[Coleen] For who?
-Thought I might play golf.

He doesn't even know
what's happening tomorrow.

[♪ Upbeat song continues]

He doesn't want the diaries
that are back-to-back with plans.

He's a slow and steady kind of guy.

I just live day-to-day, really, which...

is probably not the best thing
as a dad of four. [laughs]

Yesterday, she texted me and said,
"Mum, are you free to have the kids

"in May next year?" How do I know
what I'm doing in May next year?

[Steph] I'm surprised, actually, we've not
had a diary company coming on to us,

because... [chuckles] ...she won't
go anywhere without her diary.

If something in my diary
has to get canceled,

yeah, it, er... it sends me a bit.

Oh, me diary as well.
Oh, imagine I left that.

[Wayne] What's that movie? Inside Out.

I'd love to be, like, one of them
little characters inside her brain,

just to see what is going on.

[♪ Dramatic music playing]

[Coleen] Because I don't have
a nine-to-five job,

I have a lot of projects on the go.

Take, for instance, next week.

-Good to see you, mate.
-Good to see you.

-I like this, Wayne.
-[Coleen] Wayne's got his podcast launch.

[Kelly Somers] We need to move Wayne's
chair forward, is what he's being told.

[laughter]

On the Tuesday,

Paddy Power want me to do another ad,
acting with Danny Dyer.

-You'll have to show me the ropes, yeah.
-Piece of piss, babe.

-Oh, sh*t.
-[laughter]

Obviously, school every day.

Get your shoes and everything, please.

-[child screaming]
-Stop it right now!

After school, Kai has football.

On the Wednesday,
he's filming a new advert for Puma.

-[all cheering]
-[laughing]

Thursday, clothing range meeting
in Dublin.

Let me just see the jeans.

They're, like, dropping a bit,
aren't they, I think? Yeah.

But I am starting to worry.

-[screams]
-Be quiet!

[laughing]

Imagine he has to move away.

[child screaming]

[Coleen] Have I taken too much on?

[♪ Dramatic music playing]

It's not like you to feel sad.
Talk to me. What's going on?

I just feel like it's just a bit hard,
just juggling everything.

[Wayne] So I'd say this is the best city,
when you look at all the capitals.

New York and Paris,
they're all a bit dirty.

I think this is the cleanest
and best city.

-After Liverpool, obviously.
-[laughs]

[Coleen] Me and Wayne are down in London.

I've got a advert to sh**t tomorrow,

and Wayne's here
to launch his BBC podcast.

I don't know too much about tonight,
but it'll be nice just to...

[Wayne] Get away from the kids
for the night.

[laughs]

[Wayne] Batman.

[Coleen] But first, I'm getting ready,

because I'm on the judging panel for
the Pride of Britain Awards.

[stammers] A little bit of definition,
but-but quite...

-Just super soft. Okay.
-Super soft, yeah.

So Wayne's going to have to wait for me...

[Wayne grunts]

[Coleen] ...before we head off
to his BBC podcast launch.

Yeah, the podcast
is something different. Erm...

I've been on d-different... a few
different podcasts with other people.

Then you start thinking about JT
lifting the trophy and all that.

[all laughing]

Podcast, you can show
some of your character as well.

So, it's a good opportunity for people
to see that there's a lot more to me.

I think I was the captain,
I didn't hear anything about that.

[all laughing]

So, the BBC have offered me a role
of doing me own podcast

called The Wayne Rooney Show.

It's gone from doing nothing
for the last few weeks to...

to quite full-on.

[♪ Upbeat music playing]

But everyone's got a podcast,
haven't they?

You've seen podcasts on food,
on, erm... on everything.

That's the way...
It's the new trend really, innit?

I still watch Match of the Day
every-every Saturday night.

Is your missus like mine?
She get the hump sometimes?

Victoria just doesn't like
the sound of football.

Oh, my God, my missus is exactly the same.

[producer 1] Is there
a little bit of pressure?

Erm, not really.

I don't see it as a competition.

If you like it, watch it.
If you don't, don't. [chuckles]

[Coleen] It was a privilege to be voting
on the Pride of Britain panel.

But then I had a quick turnaround
to get ready for Wayne's podcast launch.

But Wayne didn't want to wait for me.

Hi, mate, it's-it's Wayne.
Are you picking me up from the hotel?

-[person] Yeah.
-[Wayne] Okay, we'll be there now. Thanks.

He's pulling round now, yeah.

Didn't want to walk into
me own podcast event late.

[grunts]

[mobile ringing]

[Paul] Just slow down a sec, driver.
They're just leaving now.

-Five minutes? Yeah, we'll circle back.
-She won't be five minutes.

-She won't be five minutes.
-Cheers. Bye.

-Who said five minutes? Coleen?
-Yeah.

Sorry, can you circle back round?

-We'll get... Jump Coleen in.
-[driver] No problem.

-Right, going to get this on camera.
-[chuckles]

[Wayne] Then I always end up
waiting for Coleen to get ready.

[producer 1] Where's Coleen?

Erm, she's in the bathroom, getting ready.

[producer 1] How long
does your mum take to get ready?

-I don't know. A while, like...
-On a good day, like, 50 minutes.

-No, longer than that.
-No.

She always gets ready last.

And then, we just end up sitting round
for an hour or so, waiting for her.

You should be ready. You should
have your mic on, everything ready,

so we walk in
and you're just sat here, waiting.

Worst thing we could've done
is brought her into a shop.

She'll get her hair done first,
and then she'll get her makeup done.

She'll get her toes done.

Overall, that takes
about four hours of work.

[chuckling] What?

[Wayne] I'll be shocked
if she's five minutes.

[Paul] Yeah.

When do you want to do the countdown from?

-As soon as you got off the phone.
-[laughing]

They said five minutes, didn't they?

[ticking]

-[Wayne] Fourteen minutes, she was.
-[door dinging]

-Got you on camera.
-Erm...

-You what?
-Got you on camera.

I re-ironed me pants,
so that was good for 14 minutes.

[all chuckling]

The BBC felt they didn't have
a flagship football podcast

that's led by someone
that played the game at the highest level.

-Wayne Rooney or Didier Drogba?
-Wayne Rooney.

-Alan, okay?
-How're you doing?

-Good to see you, mate. Hi, mate, okay?
-All right. Nice to see you.

-[Coleen] Hiya. You okay? Nice to see you.
-Nice to see you. Mwah.

For me, it's an environment
where Wayne can shine.

-You okay?
-I like this, Wayne!

This is nice!

One of the things about Wayne,
he's not academically intelligent,

but he's smart and intelligent from
a point of view of understanding life.

Hi, mate. You okay?

I've been getting so much abuse from
Birmingham City fans, bro.

[Gary] Talking to an audience,
they want to hear a passion,

a fight, and a spirit in their language.

They don't want it to be dressed up.

They don't want people
sitting on the fence.

-You texted me and told me to do it.
-[both laughing]

[Wayne] Been on a few different podcasts
with other people,

so I thought, "Do you know what?
I may as well do me own one."

And allow me to speak what I feel on-on
the weekend's games, or life in general.

I'm not scared, but you never know

when you're doing something new,
something different,

you never know how it's going to be taken.

Do people like it, they don't like it?

[Nahyan Chowdhury] When it comes
to podcast signings,

it doesn't get much bigger than this.

Fronted by the iconic England
and Manchester United legend,

-Mr. Wayne Rooney.
-[applause]

[audience cheering, whistling]

He likes his name on his head.

[♪ Comical music playing]

[Coleen] That's typical Wayne.

He's in front of the world's media,
totally unaware

to the fact he's got a massive light
shining on his head.

[Somers] I think we need to move Wayne's
chair forward, is what he's being told.

[Coleen] Need to come forward.

-Do you want me to come here?
-[laughter]

I believe that Wayne lost himself
and his confidence

after that final managerial role.

I don't feel like
we're in that space anymore.

Watch you don't fall off.

-But I can't go anywhere else.
-[laughter]

He's found himself
in a different area of football

that I believe suits him more,
so much more than being a manager.

He probably wouldn't agree.

[Nahyan] Wayne, what can audiences expect?

I've never really done
anything like this before,

and, erm, so I've got
so much to talk about,

and, you know, there's no point in me,
you know, com-coming across

and doing a podcast
if I'm not going to be honest, so...

I'll be that as much as I can.

[Somers] What I've realized early on
working with Wayne

is he doesn't really hold back.

And I think he makes both of us think,
doesn't he?

Like, we spend a lot of the time kind of
going, "Oh, yeah." Or, "Wow," like...

And hopefully the listener
will get to do that as well.

[Kai] He's smarter than you think.

He always just whips out some random
facts about history or something,

and then doesn't stop talking about it.

[Kae Kurd] I think there'll be things
that will surprise people about Wayne.

Wayne was talking to me
about sleep studies,

and I was just like,
"Oh, you're into science?"

[laughter]

I think it's a side that you haven't
shown people about, right?

And I think it's great to see that
because he is quite analytical,

more than people would think.

-[sighs] Erm... Jesus.
-[laughter]

[Coleen] I felt proud
seeing Wayne onstage.

I did think they could've
come up with a better title

than The Wayne Rooney Podcast.

It's a bit of a rubbish thing, isn't it?

The Wayne Rooney Show.

[producer 1] Does what it says on the tin.

I know...

Having played the game for so long,

hopefully I've got
a good knowledge of football.

So yeah, hopefully youse all enjoy it.

[Paul] Any subject matter

you should care to wish for
is covered off in a podcast.

So for The Wayne Rooney Show to come in,

bring the weight to carry that,

and to get cut through,
that's going to take some doing.

[Nahyan] And finally, one club
you're secretly watching this year?

I've always had a...

a thing for Tottenham.

I think people criticized him
'cause he didn't have much personality.

But when you get to know him,
you see the true side of him.

And I think, "Oh, God.
What's he going to come out with next?"

Harry Kane, as-as you all know,
has took all my records.

-Erm...
-[laughter]

So the one thing he can't take is, erm,

I scored the last goal ever
at White Hart Lane, so...

[laughter]

They say that, like,
he's good as a pundit.

-[producer 1] Yeah.
-They always say "surprisingly," though.

Why is that surprising?

[Klay] You know Gary Neville,
when he first started, everyone hated him.

-Still do.
-[chuckling]

[Nahyan] A big thank you to Wayne,
Kelly, and Kae, everyone.

[audience cheering]

[Paul] All he can do
is be true to himself,

and people will make their mind up
whether they like what they see and hear.

[Coleen] Yesterday was Wayne's day.

Today it's my turn.

I'm off to do my second advert
for Paddy Power.

Thanks very much.

This time acting with Danny Dyer.

[machine chiming]

[person] We're in East London,
and we have built our own custom casino,

so it looks very, very chaotic.

But when you see it in frame,

it's very Scorsese, I've got to say.

[crew member 1] Do you want me to get
an establisher of the, er, big banana?

[Leah] To have Coleen,

to have Danny, obviously
he's BAFTA Award-winning as well...

I mean,
it is the biggest sh**t we've ever done.

[crew member 2] What are you thinking?

I'm sh1tting meself.

[chuckling]

Hello, Coleen. How are you?

[Coleen] Yeah, good, thank you.

Recently I've been asked
what's Coleen's rider,

and it's quite funny because, like,
she wouldn't make any wild demands.

-Erm, can I get a coffee, please? Erm...
-How do you like it?

-Like, milk. Like a latte?
-Yeah.

-Yeah, a latte, please.
-Normal milk?

-Skimmed, if you've got it. Thank you.
-Skimmed, sure.

She likes a latte.

She's not too fussed on the milk.

[Steph] Have you got any sweetener?

She does like half a sweetener,
so I have now

sussed how to cut a sweetener in half.

[♪ Upbeat music playing]

That does look quite strong.
See how you get on.

Yeah, she likes half a sweetener.

The big thing is that I am
going to be alongside Danny Dyer.

-[Danny] Coleen, how are you?
-Hiya, you okay?

-Nice to see you.
-This is random, isn't it?

-Yeah. [chuckles]
-Very f*cking random.

-You got this mob following you about?
-Yeah, yeah.

-But they're all right, are they? Sort of...
-Yeah, yeah, all good. Yeah.

Hello, mate, you all right? You okay?

So we're going to do
some acting in a minute.

Oh, yeah.
You'll have to show me the ropes.

-Piece of piss, babe.
-[chuckling]

Piece of f*cking piss.

I've never met him before,
but he was everything

that I thought he was going to be.

He was cracking jokes.

[Danny] I couldn't do a show like this
'cause I'd be canceled.

-[Coleen] Yeah. [chuckles]
-I'd be f*cked.

[Coleen] He was funny.

Bit of haze.

[crew member 3 chattering]

Quick vape. There we are. Smart.

I'm giving you
a bit of atmosphere, darling.

It's a bit more intense
because there's a lot of people here.

So when they say action,
it is all down to me or Danny.

So, yeah, it seems a bit more...

tense than the last advert I did.

This is huge compared to that.

-[crew member 4] Thank you.
-[director] Okay, let's turn over.

-[crew member 4] Rolling.
-[director] Action.

[♪ Upbeat jazz music playing]

Right then, you wonderful people.

Let's have it.

-Oh, sh*t. Sorry.
-[laughter]

They didn't explain how difficult
to roll a roulette ball was going to be.

It was just popping out.

[laughter]

There's a certain knack
that you have to have.

So you have to roll it along the side
and then it rolls round.

Ooh! Sorry.

[mutters] We could have got away
with that.

[laughter]

But Danny was spinning it too fast.

-Oh, maybe it's my fault it keeps...
-Yeah, it's your fault.

-Oh, I see.
-[laughter]

So it's my fault that the ball kept...
f*ck off.

Surely in casinos they do it fast.

Right, we'll do it slow then. Come on.

So he can take some of the blame for that.
It wasn't just me.

Right, you lovely lot, let's have it.

[mutters] I'm up for this.

[all cheering]

That's the f*cking one.

When I'm in front of the camera,
I switch off and then I go into...

to work mode.

He didn't cause
this much trouble up front.

[chuckling]

And I feel that this is my time.
Time for me.

[Wayne] I think it's brought
something back in her.

You know, a passion back in...
into what she's doing as well.

Hi. I'm on set filming an ad
for Paddy Power Games.

Oh, yeah, didn't surprise me, actually.
She was in Hollyoaks, you know?

She'd been good, actually. Hmm.

Hi, guys. I've got some tea to spill.

Oh, something's flew off it. [chuckling]

[Steph] When Coleen first
stepped into the public eye...

[Coleen] I think I've spun it too...
too hard.

[Steph] ...she was
essentially Wayne's girlfriend.

You know, she was a WAG.
She hates that term.

Now she is Coleen.
She knows what she wants.

It's stepping into that new chapter.

It's stepping into that success
that she's worked so hard for.

That's lovely.

[Danielle] And she can
show the world who she is.

Kit. You playing?

I'll play. I'll play.

Nearest to bull's-eye, one shot each,
goes first.

-[chuckling]
-[Kit] Shut up.

[Wayne] I think Coleen going
back into work, it's good for her.

You know, rather than just being here and
looking after the kids and me as well.

Yeah! Who wants to play me now?

And then that's obviously
coincided with me

not having a, you know, nine-to-five job.

So I'm here with the kids.

You finished with this?

-[Kai] Yeah.
-And this?

-I don't like them.
-So you just leave them there?

It's tough. I think what you'd expect,
it's four lads.

[Wayne] Watch it while I'm turning it on.
Kit, where's the button for this?

-[shouting] What are you doing?
-[Kit] That was Klay.

-Klay, stop it, mate.
-He's throwing ba*ls at me!

There's chaos, there's fighting,
there's arguing.

Cass, can you get off my driver, please?

-It's not yours.
-[Kit] It is.

I had this driver.

-[ball thuds]
-[exclaiming, crying]

Every day's a... a challenge with them.

[both laughing]

Right, sit up. Stop it now.

[both laughing, chattering]

Oh, my God. Sit up now.

[Cass shouting] Get off! Give it me!

They're all different, all got their own
different characters and different ways.

So it-it is a challenge.

Kit, Kit, Kit.

When you see this on the telly,
youse are all going to be embarrassed.

[Cass] Get your own clubs!
You have your own clubs.

Yeah! Mine was them.

Get off! No, don't! [screaming]

I'm chilled until I need to snap.

It's not even turned on. Be quiet.

[producer 1] Any more kids planned, Wayne?

[scoffs] No chance, I've had the snip.

[chuckling] No chance.

Well, if she does,
it won't be with me anyway.

People ask why do we not have a nanny.

People say, "You can afford
to have a nanny and... and help you."

But they're our kids.

Are bananas nice?

Yeah. Do you want me to open it?

Are you sure? [groans]

I used to like this on toast.

Ugh!

[Wayne] It's a good strike.

You know, it's tough, and it is tough
for anyone who's got four kids,

but you want to bring them up.
You want to be round them.

It's tough, but it's enjoyable as well.
You'll have some,

you know, great moments,
great memories with the kids.

And, yeah, I wouldn't change it.

[kisses]

[sniggers]

Finish.

[Coleen] I'm not the only family member
who's doing adverts.

[camera shutter clicking]

[Coleen] Kai's got an ad campaign
for Puma.

He's 15 and plays
for Manchester United's youth team,

and he's already getting
quite a lot of attention.

Every single Manchester United fan
would love

Wayne Rooney back in the side right now.

Of course, it's not going to happen.
But how about the next best thing?

[fan] We need to talk about this kid.
Does he look familiar?

Kai Rooney, the prophecy is written.

Scoring goals for Man United.

[producer 1] What's Kai like?
Is he a good footballer?

-Yeah.
-[Kit] Cass, you're terrible.

-You're terrible.
-[Kit] No, you're terrible.

[Coleen] This is a big year for Kai.

He's waiting to find out

if Manchester United are
going to offer him a scholarship.

[coach] Good, nice.

Kai wants his own legacy,
and I'll be there to support him.

No, I am sh**ting sh*t today.

-[coach] Huh?
-I'm sh**ting bad today.

Ah, it's fine. It's just repetition.
That's all it is.

Don't put pressure on yourself.
Just relax.

What I don't want is him
to get a scholarship

or get a contract because of me.

I want it to be because of him,
in his own right.

[coach] Go across the keeper if you can.
Go on. Very good.

It's something he's wanted
for a long time.

So I'd be proud,
really proud of him to get a scholarship.

[Coleen] Kai's desperate to make
a good impression with Man United.

He's already getting quite a lot
of exciting work opportunities.

Today, we are filming
for a Puma sh**t for Kai.

[Klay] What even is a photo sh**t?

Are they playing, like, an actual match?

[Coleen] I don't know until we get there,
and then...

'Cause let me play in it.

I'll pocket this guy.

[Coleen] You might be able to be a extra

and, like, walk past the background
or something.

Shut up.

[chuckling]

I did think bringing Klay along
for the day would be fun,

but maybe it wasn't the best idea.

[Klay] There's no point taking pictures
of him, 'cause he's ugly.

[chuckling]

Kai and Klay are like chalk and cheese.

They love each other,
but they mightn't always like each other.

[Klay] How are you sponsored and I'm not?
I'm actually better than you.

[Coleen, Kai chuckle]

[Kai] You look like the guy
from Dumber and Dumber.

[Klay] It's my haircut.

What the hell?

What was I thinking?

[chuckles]

I don't know why you're laughing.

[laughs]

The Puma ad Kai is involved in
today is a really exciting project.

-[Kai] Cheers.
-[Coleen] It's going to be great for him.

[crew member] All right,
so we're in here to start with.

This will be, like, hair, makeup.

Not that you need loads.
You've had a trim, ain't you?

-Yeah.
-[Coleen] Every Friday. [laughs]

He has a haircut once a week.

-Twice sometimes.
-Nah.

I had one on Saturday.

I've got... I had one today.

Got one Friday.

I got one this morning.

[Klay] What, is he getting makeup done?
He does it in the morning.

When Klay's in a good mood,
he is a bit of a comedian.

[Klay] I look better than him,
and I ain't even having anything done.

He is funny, and he does make us laugh.

[stylist] Do you usually
put anything in your hair?

[producer 1] Between you two, who cares
the most about their appearance?

-Him.
-Nah, him.

-He puts, like, eye...
-He does. [chuckling]

[producer 1] You were giving him
some proper funny looks

when he was getting
his makeup done at Puma.

-I got forced to do that one.
-[Coleen] Yeah.

He only wears it out on Saturday nights.

-[laughs]
-I don't wear makeup, mate.

The name "Rooney"
and the Rooneys are of massive interest.

[all cheering]

The potential for Kai alone
is really, really exciting.

Yeah, it's going well. He seems to rela...

be relaxing into it now.

It is a very competitive space.

You've got to be on your A game
to keep that.

That could always fall by the wayside.

[photographer] Bring it out slightly
so I can just see the Puma logo.

Just bring it in. Yeah, perfect, mate.

[Coleen] If Man United don't offer him
a scholarship, he'll be let go.

He'll have to find a new club,
and might even have to leave home.

[photographer] Little bit of a smirk.

If I had to move away 'cause of football,

my mum would be, like,
upset and worrying and missing me.

[photographer] Little bit more of a smile.
Yeah, perfect, mate.

But I think after a while
she would probably get a bit happy,

'cause there's one less in the house.

[photographer] One more for me.

[Colette] His dream is to play football.

We're hoping and praying
that he does get a scholarship

and he doesn't have to leave home.

[photographer] Yeah, nice. Thank you, Kai.

[Coleen] I'd be heartbroken.

[♪ Upbeat music playing]

[crew member] Cameras are in here.

They were talking about
doing photographs in there.

'Bout there.

It'll be fine. We'll make it work.

-Happy days.
-All right.

So today, we're recording the first
episode of The Wayne Rooney Show.

We're getting him
and the other presenters,

Kelly Somers and Kae Kurd,

all together for the first time
here at Wayne's house.

And we're going to hopefully
get some strong opinions,

get some good stories from him,
and have some fun.

[Kae] I only got married last month, so...
I can't wait to have kids. I can't wait.

-That's great.
-I see people... Like, Al Pacino's had a kid

and he's 87, innit?

-At that age, I'll just get the snip, man.
-[Wayne] Yeah, I got it after my fourth.

You did it? Oh, yeah. They can reverse it
as well, apparently, but it's just a bit...

You can get two different ones.
You can get it where it's unreversible.

[Kae] Is that what you got? [laughing]

f*cking take me ba*ls off if you need to.

[Coleen] Wayne's podcast
is a pretty big deal,

and it's really important for him.

And then,
Klay's got to be there for 20 past 3:00.

It's putting a bit more pressure on me.

He's not around as much to help out.

Get your shoes and everything, please.

So it's on me to juggle everything.

If Jo just drops Kit and Cass off
on the way to the dentist,

and she just brings him home.

To be honest, the podcast setup
is bigger than I was expecting,

and I'm a bit worried
it might disrupt our routine.

[Kae] That is mental.

-Wayne, can I have a kick about in there?
-[chuckles]

You got to ask, don't you?

You can't come to Wayne Rooney's house
and not kick a football.

Wonder if I can hit the crossbar.

-[fence rattles]
-[Kae laughing]

Guess a trial's out of question.

For people to come
twice a week here, and...

Wayne organize it all...

-Yeah.
-that's a lot.

[Steph] My understanding is
there's people here today

to make sure all the tech is working,

and then it should all just run.

'Cause it's been down to Paul and Wayne,
I think it's just all gone a bit... Whew.

-[Steph] Well, we'll pull it in.
-Yeah, it's not my...

It's nothing to do with me,
so not my problem. [laughing]

I just need to know
whether I've got people

knocking on a Wednesday
or a Friday to come in.

[crew member] 'Bout there.

-[Kae] Is that a Premier League medal?
-[Wayne] It's my first one, yeah.

[Kae] That is mad. Is that yours as well?

[Kae] "Everywoman Ambass..." [laughing]

[Somers] Yeah, is that
your proudest achievement?

[Paul] It's a great day.
We're finally here.

We've got the first podcast recording
of The Wayne Rooney Show.

I've got a few butterflies in my tummy.

Of course there's jeopardy.

But it's-it's upon Wayne to ensure

that he's the best version
of Wayne Rooney that he can be.

Wayne, whenever you're ready.

[beeps]

Well, guys, welcome to my house,
and welcome to my new show.

-[all cheering]
-I'm not leaving.

[Somers] Yes, this is
The Wayne Rooney Show,

a brand-new podcast from BBC Sounds
that does exactly what you'd imagine.

[producer 1] Is it hard, like,
talking for that long on podcasts?

I'm do... doing an interview
for three hours here! [laughing]

It's a bit easier than this.

It's like anything, if you're enjoying it

and you're enjoying
what you're talking about

and the people you're doing it with,
then it's-it's not-not hard.

[Somers] We've got loads
of memorabilia around us.

Have you got this out just for us,

or is this what your house
is genuinely always like?

Yeah, no, I, erm... I'll be honest,
I've got it out just for you.

[both laughing]

[Anthony] It was everything
that we really wanted.

You know,
we got some great stuff from Wayne.

He was really funny,
he told some really good stories.

I had a group of lads outside me house
in balaclavas at 3:00 in the morning.

[Kae] Sorry about that, man,
I didn't mean to startle anyone.

[laughter]

[Anthony] People kind of feel like
they know Wayne.

I mean, we've got to remember,
he's grown up in the public eye

since he was pretty much 16 years old.

But also, they don't,
because you only get a small window

into who he is
away from the football pitch.

So, something like this,

it's a great opportunity
to showcase who he is.

[Somers] Honestly, some of the stories
we're going to get on this show

are going to be wild.

[Wayne] It's a different pathway

in my-my career, if you like.

So, yeah, it's-it's been positive,
and I'm really enjoying it.

All the comments on social media were...

were good.

[Paul] BBC were absolutely over the moon
with the reaction to the first show.

They put the clips up
across their platforms.

There's some goals you score where you
think, "That's an absolute worldie, that."

And then you see it back,
and it's not as good as you think.

[Paul] And it's generating momentum now.
So, it's got people talking,

and hopefully we've got them listening
and watching as well.

[Coleen] With Wayne's podcast taking off,
on top of his TV work,

life has suddenly got very busy for us.

As well as filming the adverts,

I'm designing my Primark range
wherever I can find the time.

We need to get
a bit more prettiness in there.

Obviously it's athleisure, it's sporty,

but I do think there needs to be
an element of some sort of softness.

-Yeah?
-[Coleen] The labels,

I prefer the "by Coleen,"
rather than just "Coleen."

[Steph] Yeah.

The launch is now just months away,

and the team have run off
some early samples of my designs.

That's a nice length, that, as well,
isn't it, for everyone?

-Yeah. Yeah, it's really, really lovely.
-Let me just see the jeans. Erm...

It's like it's... They're, like,
dropping a bit, aren't they, at the...

-Yeah.
-Yeah, yeah.

Can you lift the shirt up a bit? Yeah.

Okay, maybe, yeah...

-A little bit more volume?
-More volume.

I think, just to let them
be a bit relaxed, yeah.

-Trainers look great. Yeah.
-They look really good.

-Yeah.
-They're nice.

[coach] Go. One, good. Two, good.
Two. Slide, slide. Good.

Variation. Good. Back in.
Right leg bounce. Go.

[Coleen] Kai's still not heard any news

on whether Man United are going
to offer him a scholarship.

[coach] Right. Good. Fast kick.

Well done. Very good.

I just try and play my own game
and focus on myself

and improve myself as a player
and as a person.

If I do that right, then it'll all
come together and come good.

[coach] Kai. Let's go.

[Wayne] I thought
we would've heard by now.

Hopefully we will hear soon,

because there's been
quite a few interested in him.

[♪ Tender music playing]

[Coleen] I can tell he's getting
a bit... itchy.

If they don't give him a scholarship,
he just has to keep playing.

I think for Manchester United and for...

for us as a family,
it would be like a full circle.

[producer 1] Would that bring
a tear to your eye as a dad?

Er, probably. Yeah, it probably would.
I... I cry at everything anyway, so...

Yeah, I've... I've cried
over some mad things.

Coronation Street. Erm, X Factor.

When Barry got
pushed off the hill by Janine

in EastEnders I think I was crying, so...

I'm-I'm pretty sure I would at that.

If he doesn't get one... if...

I've had loads of teams
phoning me already.

Imagine he has to move away.

I do have the fear of Kai leaving,
especially this age, 16, it's quite young.

I'm Kai Rooney.

[Coleen] Kai was our firstborn.

[Kai] It's my bike, Mummy.

[Coleen] It's a big boy's bike,
that, isn't it?

We had him for three years on his own
before his brothers came along.

Wayne and I were besotted with him.
He was such a sweet little boy.

[giggling]

[Coleen] When the other boys were born,
time seemed to speed up,

and now they're all growing so fast.

I know they're only kids once,
and then it's all gone.

So, I'm hoping I've done the right thing
by going back to work.

[coach] Back foot. Good. Great. Oi.

Lovely finish.

[Coleen] For Kai, this will feel like
he's at a massive crossroads.

[coach] Go.

Nice. Perfect.

[Coleen] I just want to make sure
he knows we're all here for him.

[exhales]

[church bell ringing]

[Danielle] I've never been up this end.

-It's gorgeous, isn't it?
-[Coleen] Yeah.

[Danielle] Just here, guys.

Oh, God, I can see myself.

My big head on that screen.

Oh, let me take my chewing gum out.

No one wants that, do they?

[Coleen] Danielle is a friend of mine.

Her husband Darren played with Wayne.

We were both pregnant
at the same time with our eldests,

and I think that whole working-class
council estate connection

just brought us together.

[Coleen] I think with Danielle,
she understands me as a person.

Obviously she's been
in the football world,

and she was always a good listener.

She is a counselor, but I don't see
Danielle as that. I see her as a friend.

[Danielle] I feel like you've been chock a.

-[Coleen] Yeah.
-Just don't know how you do it.

No, it is. It's a lot. Erm...

To be honest with you,
I'm struggling at the moment as well.

-Just trying to...
-With?

Just fitting things in,
'cause I've-I've took a lot... a lot on.

[Danielle] You're allowed
to ask for help, babe.

[Coleen] No, I know.
Do you want to babysit tonight?

[both laugh]

We connected over sleepless nights
and being tired

and being a first-time mum.

And we just try.

We try and navigate marriages,
kids, businesses, working

and just trying to hold it all together.

How's it been, going back to work as well
as juggling motherhood and the four boys?

-Hard. [chuckles]
-Yeah.

But you try and make it work.

-Obviously I've took all this on...
-Yes!

But obviously other things
have got to balance that.

-Yeah.
-And that's what I'm trying to do,

is I, you know...

I look at the school calendar
and I'll put in as much as I can.

-Sports days, assemblies.
-Mmm.

But you know, if a fixture comes up

'cause they've got through
to the next stage and I'm not there,

I ca... I can't do nothing about it.

And they'll say, "Aw!"

Like, "Why aren't you here?"
And this and that.

So what do you want?

-I... Just a nice, balanced life, really.
-Yeah.

I do feel a bit sad at the minute. Like...

Just because I just don't feel
like things are, you know...

It's just a bit...

[♪ sad music playing]

Just... I don't know. Like...

Like I said, just a bit snappy.
Do you know? And I think...

-You feel a bit irritated.
-Yeah.

It's not like you to feel sad.
Talk to me. What's going on?

Erm, nothing.
I just feel like it's just a bit hard,

just juggling everything,
and just... like...

Like, the house is not, like, happy.

I try and do it, but, like, it's just...

Yeah. There's-There's small problems
that we need to fix,

and I've got no time to stop and fix it.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-I've got no time.

And that's-that's what's
a bit, like, worrying.

I prep and I try and do everything
to the best I can.

I still find it really difficult
leaving me kids.

The hardest thing is
picking the pieces up when you...

when you get back as well.

Coleen has lived for nearly 40 years
having to wear this armor

so that she can be the best mum
and the best wife and keep going.

But she needs to allow herself
to feel things,

allowing herself to have a cry,

allowing herself to have a bad day
without saying,

"But it's all right. It's all right."

Over this past few weeks,
I am questioning myself,

-"What do I need to do?"
-What do you think you need?

I need to calm down. [chuckles]

-I'm highly strung...
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I think that's because
I feel like I have a lot.

I feel like I need to do a lot,
and sometimes maybe I don't need to do it.

You don't need to do it all.

Yeah, but then you're... you're quite
like me as well, though, aren't you?

Yeah, but I really try not to be.

[both chuckle]

But I do need to... Yeah.

I'll give you my therapist's number.
She's fabulous.

[both laughing]

Ah, book me in for next week. Yeah.

[both laugh]

[crowd cheering]

-[Wayne] Hey, hey, hey.
-Hey, what's good, champ?

-Good to see you, mate.
-The story is this.

[Coleen] This is a big month
for both me and Wayne.

Wayne, how excited are you
to be back at Old Trafford?

Hopefully, we can win.

-We are Sparta!
-[cheering]

-[person] Hi, Coleen.
-Good morning.

I've been asked to make a film for
Robbie Williams's charity football game.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

I am quite nervous.

Privit.

I want to make my mum and dad proud.

When Coleen was three, she ended up
in a coma, 24 hours, touch-and-go.

[Wayne] See you on Sunday?

-Are you playing?
-I'm playing, yeah.

[crowd cheering]

[Coleen] Look like the king of Poland
sitting there.

-[burps]
-[Coleen] Kit. No, a nice one please.

[fan] Wayne, can I get a picture?

[Coleen] People started recognizing Wayne.

Kit.

It wasn't a nice situation to be in.

Just being normal
would be nice for one day.

All right, mate, get off my shoulder then.

So, my grandmother, her family was Jewish.

-[producer 1] Technically, you are Jewish.
-[chuckles] Yeah, well...

-Roo the Jew. [laughs]
-[Coleen laughs]