01x20 - Fake Video

[bunniefuu]

Holy. [screaming] What the hell? What the is going on? What the hell am I looking at? Why am I continuing to watch this?

I think this is the Chinese equivalent of a lobster tank. [laughter] Oh, Fro.

That lady's got too many cats. Hey, lady. If you plan on having an open casket funeral, uh, make sure you don't

die in this room. [laughter] cats plus one old lady equals b*ner

time. [laughter] Yeah.

DJ and the bro

[music]

Guys, [gasps] thanks so much for that hilarious video you sent out last week. Dominatrix falls off a unicycle.

Yeah, I laughed so hard I got fired and then I forwarded the clip to Sandy in HR and she rehired me. You guys are the

kings of the internet. I totally want to sleep with [laughter] you.

No need to sleep with us, Gigi. That's just how we roll, ladies. We're the jizz.

DJ the fro. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there's been a horrible accident

[music]

in my pants after watching that video you sent me. Robot poops on inventor.

[laughter]

We figured you'd enjoy that, sir. You crazy rascals. Come here. [laughter]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. More.

[crying]

Look at me. Higher. Higher. Right after we watch this clip from basketball legend Larry Turd. Please don't go. No, Julie.

What was that? [screaming and crying]

[laughter]

It all started. This whole thing began in the Primal Scream therapy group. Some people were very good at this.

You can scream away a lot of things, but you can't scream away your bad ponytail decisions, can you? Can you? One woman

was stalking me and screaming, "I hate you. I hate [laughter] men and I miss you, daddy. You b*stard. I want to cut

your Yeah.

And a man in the group would take this and run with it. I'm bad. I'm a man. I hate my p*nis."

Uh, well, that makes two of us because I also hate your p*nis.

No, I can't stay mad at you weird guy's p*nis.

Get over here. [laughter]

[gasps]

Yeah, dude. The videos we forward are all the rage. What would this office do without us?

Yeah. And wait until they see this new clip I just found. It's called trampoline accident. Check it out.

Three dudes in a trampoline. Why wasn't I invited to this kick-a*s bachelor party?

Oh my god, what the hell happened?

[screaming]

Wow, that was awesome. Hey, let's forward this clip to everybody we know. No. No, don't forward that. Well, why?

Because it's totally staged. Damn it. Do you want to get us both k*lled? No. Watch. Check this out. Item one.

They obviously made an edit on the camera handoff right here so they could set up the accident. Oh, well that doesn't prove anything.

Item two.

Why did that guy's leg get so long all of a sudden?

It could be. I Answer the question. I don't know. It's a code red. The leg's not real. Oh my god.

He's hiding a real one under the bed.

Oh no. Item three. That guy totally made himself fall off the trampoline like that because he wanted to step on the leg.

[screaming]

Wow, Fro. I'm convinced you're you're right. But hey, it's still a pretty awesome video. It's not awesome. Sending

out fake staged videos is the most immoral thing a video afficionado could ever do. Case dismissed.

Fro, you have great honor and character when it comes to the art of forwarding internet clips.

That's why people will always come to us for their internet clip needs and no one else.

Everyone, I'd like to introduce the latest additions to the Opera team. They will be working in sidebyside cubicles and performing certain nondescript tasks

that involve doing generic things with desks and papers and such. So, [gasps] please give a warm welcome to Milo and the butt cut.

Hi, I'm Milo.

Hey everybody, they call me the butt cut.

Uh, I don't know about you, Dee, but I just added two names to my least threatened by top five.

What? What you doing? Hey.

Hey, you. I don't think you should be doing this. Hey. Hey, you get back.

Such a jackass. [screaming] What the I've heard of spitting cobras, but this is similar.

Hey guys, make sure to check your inboxes for our latest internet gem. Grasshopper living in little boy's ear.

[laughter]

It is off the chisy. Oh, I already saw that one this morning.

Yeah, Milo and the butt cut sent it to us. They did. You're kidding. What up, peeps?

Hey, Milo. Hey, the butt cut.

Dude, we just found the most hilarious video. It's called Elephant on Pogo Stick Gets Nailed with Water Balloon.

Oh, man. You got to send that out. DJ and I already saw that video. That video is so old, dude.

Really? You saw it? Then what happens in it, bro? Uh, what happens in elephant on pogo stick gets nailed with water

balloon? Oh, well [snorts] uh it's pretty obvious. Um, it's like a rhinoceros on a treadmill gets like

nailed with like a dart g*n. Wrong. That is not what happens, dude.

Milo the butt cut. You two are in hot water

[music]

because you'll be joining me in my jacuzzi to celebrate that mindblowing video you sent me. Come here, you crazy

rascals. [laughter]

[laughter]

Higher. Higher.

[laughter]

Milo [music] and the butt cut.

[music]

Milo and the butt cut.

It's not about age. It's not about race. Oh no. It's not about gender. All right. You know what's gotten way out of hand?

People feeling good about themselves. Exactly. And how big women really are great. All right.

I wonder what kind of guy is into this non-traditionally shaped and uniquely aged girl. We'll probably never find Oh, okay.

Yeah, that makes sense. [laughter] He loves [singing] a big [music] girl cuz she's warm and juicy and nice.

This is how you decide to tell me you're getting remarried, Grandma.

[singing]

He loves a full girl and he wants [music] himself.

He loves a big girl. I love this [screaming] song.

Yeah. Yeah. This is a followup to his song, She Has a House I can stay at.

Hold up [music] and squeeze her and hug her and please her and make love all through the night.

People say Jade Date doesn't work, but look at these two. You tell me. Milo the butt cut.

Oh, Milo and the butt cut. That clip is so awesome. [gasps] Ooh, it makes me want to do horrible, unthinkable things

to my body in front of you.

Yeah, you'll find that all the clips we send out are pretty much the jizz. The jizz. That is so funny. Where did you

guys come up with that? [laughter] Anyone can come into a new office and take over and seem like the coolest guys

after just a couple of days. Anyone can the fro but Milo and the butt cut did.

Anyone [music] can stand at the water cooler gossiping about their rivals while stealing our roles in this office.

Anyone can Dorene but DJ and the fro did.

[music]

I found it. The perfect clip that we could forward and get back on top. Oh, is this what I think it is?

Yeah. Trooper train strippers.

Man, that is the dirtiest poll since Roman Polanski. [laughter]

Hey Fro, what language are they speaking? Sexy. They are speaking sexy. Sexy is not a language.

Uh, really? Tell that to my raging b*ner. [laughter] Yeah.

Fight, fight, fight. My favorite thing to do during a fight is just to yell fight over and over just to make sure everyone knows what a fight is.

That is such a good idea. I know. I invented it.

Wow. Well, that was one hell of a clip, Fro.

Yeah, it's got everything. Strippers, head injury, chicks fighting, accents, and best of all, Milo and the butt cut

don't even know it exists. I'm going to send this out right now and rock everyone's world.

Bro, see, I knew your great honor and character in the art of foring would lead us to victory. Oh, hey, quick question. Where did you find that video anyway?

Um, just some website I found that has like the realest and least stage videos on the internet ever. Well, that sounds like a great site.

DJ the fro. [music] Hey, it's a forward from DJ and the fro.

Those clips are usually really old. But wait a minute. Oh my gosh. Whoa. Wait. Strippers. I love strippers.

[laughter]

Wow. Head injury and a chick fight.

[laughter]

No way. Accents. No one forwards collapse quite like DJ and the fro.

DJ.

The fro. We did it. De. Everyone loves our video. Back on top, baby.

How's it hanging, Jent? Well, well, well. Milo and the butt cut.

Um, did you guys uh happen to see the video Fro and I sent out? Yeah, we did.

Pretty hilarious stuff, dude. Yeah, like we don't know that. It was unbridled blonde on brunette violence. Can't really beat that, can you? We [laughter]

wouldn't even try. But, you know, you guys should check your inboxes in about seconds. Ah, good sports, those guys.

Who knew? Hey, come on. Let's take a look at what those guys sent us.

Hey, this is that stripper fight clip we sent to everyone. Why would they send this to us? Uh, I don't know. This is weird.

Wait a second, Fro. Why is there a mattress on the ground? I have no idea. Do you She fell on the mattress.

Yeah, this clip is totally bunk. Let's just watch something. Huh? Wait, is that fake blood? Fake blood? I Do they even have that?

[screaming]

They're laughing. Those two troopers aren't fighting. They're friends. They're German friends. Hey, I just got a new clip.

Oh, no. No, no. Oh my gosh, bro. That clip is totally fake.

How could this have happened? No clue, man. I mean, I checked that clip out. It seemed totally legit. We were duped.

DJ the fro. Did you two knowingly send out a fraudulent video? Sending out a fake clip goes against everything you believe in.

How dare you, Mr. Balding? How dare you think we would do this on purpose?

Sending out a fake clip goes against everything we believe in. Isn't that right, The Fro? Of course. Sure.

If you ask me, Mr. Balding, I believe we were set up probably by Milo and the butt cut, right, Fro? Oh, sure.

I don't know how they did it, but we're going to find out. Right, Fro?

Right, Dez? Right after we watch this clip from someone called Milo and the butt cut.

Son of a [ __ ] So, you want to know more about the wardrobe? Oh, yeah.

Prerequisite [music] on every outfit, stockings.

Lance's sakes, I do believe that Damsel is revealing her unmentionables.

I say bully for her. Feeling [music] sexy. Feeling hot. Just like this. Keeps wanting to come out.

Yeah. [screaming] So good. So encasing.

And then I have a surprise once I'm all dressed.

I'm guessing the surprise rhymes with my p*nis is japed to my keg. [laughter]

DJ the pro.

That machine is going to wipe that smug expression right off his stupid face.

I haven't seen a dummy get drilled that hard since the Paris Hilton sex tape.

But at least this dummy showed some emotion and didn't answer his cell phone.

So, in conclusion, people don't like to get hit in the face by giant robots. Thanks, science.

What are you doing in here, Fro?

Nothing. But since you're here, you mind putting on that mask and cutting the rope so the axe chops my leg off? What? No way.

Would you relax, dude? It's a fake leg. Wait a second. Are you staging a video? No.

Yes. Yes, you are. I thought fake videos were like Oh, Fro.

Did you know that Stripper Fight video was fake, too?

Oh my god. How could you, Fro? But with this new video, no one's ever going to figure out it stage. There won't be any evidence this time. It's foolproof.

Oh my god, Fro. Don't you realize what's happening to you? You're letting your jealousy warp your morals. You've become the opposite of the jizz.

What am I supposed to do, Deej? If I'm not king of the internet, then who am I?

You're the fro. The fro. And the fro I know would rather maintain his character and integrity [music] than rule the video foring universe.

You're right, teach. [laughter] I need help. Right after we watch this sweet clip I just got from Milo and the

butt cut. [laughter] It hurts.

Yeah. [screaming] Suck a knife, [ __ ] Dude, he shouldn't have been standing so close. Everyone knows turtles are the fastest predators on Earth.

That pigeon got stepped up faster than a sexually confused teenage boy outside Zack Efron's house.

[laughter]

Fro, did you ever notice that Maggie Gyllenhaal looks like a melted candle version of a hot girl? DJ, I was just

thinking the exact same thing. [music] DJ and the fro.

That clip was great, Ne, [snorts] but I still need help. Well, you're in luck,

pal, cuz the road to healing starts with a hug.

Wa! Dude, how did my arm catch on fire?

Get off. Get off me. Get off me. Stop it. Get off. Get [screaming] off me.

DJ the bro, that video you guys just sent out, conference room cactus fire puke walrus, was the best video all time.

Yeah, you guys are back. I want to have sex with you both again. It gave me a tingly feeling in my area.

CRCFPW.

Pretty awesome. Looks like we're the jizz again.

[cheering and applause]

Well, DJ, the fro, the verdict is in. You two are the undisputed champions.

And since we're not comfortable working in an office setting where we're no longer the top dogs, there's only one thing left for us to do.

Okay, here we go. Wait, Milo, did you hit record on the camera? Yeah, I'm not inbred like your sister.

Cool. Okay. One, two, three. Ow. Oh, dude, you forgot to take the lens cap off.

Yeah, [screaming] they're totally bleeding. [cheering] I love it. I wish it were me.

Seems like a steep price to pay for just sending clips.

Somebody get my walrus. He would love this.

[laughter]

Next time on DJ and the Fro.

DJ the pro

[music]

DJ the pro.

The fro chirp.

[music]