01x14 - n*pples

[bunniefuu]

The fro. Haven't we seen this clip before?

I don't think so. Maybe you're thinking of this clip.

No, maybe this clip. No.

Oh, you know what? I bet you're thinking of this clip. I don't think so.

Oh, wait. I got it. It's probably this one. No. This one? No. Or this one? No.

This one? No. This clip? No.

This clip? This clip? This clip? This clip? This clip? This clip?

No, bro. None of those clips are anything like this.

Oh, I know. It's this clip. No.

Hey, Fro. How can you be so calm? Aren't you worried about our six-month evaluation today? I mean, honestly, we haven't successfully completed a single.

Dude, hear that. Oh, dude. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.

Dude, [laughter and gasps] morning, boys.

Gigi's bazongas are pure poetry. The embodiment of perfection. Perfection.

Ah, Deej, there's always room for improvement, as you shall witness.

Oh, yeah. Fro, what are you thinking, Deej? I'm going to crank down the thermostat so low that Gigi's nips are going to be like boing.

Great plan and all, Fro, but you can't turn down the thermostat. You need the janitor's key to unlock it. I'm like a jazillion steps ahead of you.

Hi, kids. I'm Marcy. Hi, Marcy.

Hi. We don't have to wait until we're grown up to be what Jesus wants us to be. I've thought of something special

for us to do. I think you'll really like it. Oh, tell us what it is.

It's called cutting. Yay. It's where you take some scissors and just drag them across your [screaming] Sweet relief.

That's true. Here's a song I want to teach you about God. I'm going to work and watch and pray.

I'm going to serve him every day. I'm [music] going to see his face in glory by and wide.

I'm going to stone a [ __ ] to death.

I'll look the other way when a priest will lust. I'm going to see Jesus's face in a tortilla.

I don't believe man comes from r*pe. I'm prolife even in the case of r*pe. I think Obama is the antichrist.

I know the Teletubbies are sodomist and God sent Katrina cuz he was pissed and Jesus bodies in some kind of cr*cker.

[screaming]

Millions of women [music] like yourself suffer from a poor night's rest. Hell yeah.

Sleeping [music] on your side without proper breath support can be a major culprit.

It's true. I've heard that. Introducing Kush Support. Yeah.

Yeah. [screaming] Support maintains a more natural shape while resting on [music] your side.

Wow.

Yeah. Get son of a [ __ ] Hold on.

[laughter]

So cold. Oh, here she comes. Nips. Nips. Nips. Nips. Nips.

[laughter]

[gasps]

Hey guys, it's sort of cold in here, isn't it?

Bummer. Not only was there zero nipple viewage, but I was totally going to get that same shawl.

Oh well. Nice effort, Frode Dee.

What the hell is wrong with your n*pples?

What? These? Wait, aren't everyone's n*pples this size? Wow. Oh my god. [laughter] Holy jeez.

Your n*pples are freaks. Wow.

DJ the Fro. Hi. It's time for your evaluation with Mr. Balding. Whoa.

Kittens inspired by kittens. Look at her.

We are I'm at work. We are in Hawaii.

was orchestrated by the Jews.

I'm so glad PF Chang stopped putting pictures on their menu. [laughter] Cool.

I like this clip cuz it really makes you think. Yeah.

[laughter]

[crying]

[laughter]

Bravo. Bravo. DJ the fro. This is quite distressing.

Your job performance as of late has been terribly disappointing. And with this economy being what it is, it doesn't make business sense keeping anyone that isn't pulling their weights.

But on the other hand, something about you, DJ, reminds me of myself when I was young.

Really? Well, thank you, sir.

Yes. I'm not sure what it is. You just have that certain

[screaming]

[screaming]

That's why I'm going to give you guys a second chance here and hold off on making my official recommendation. Awesome.

So, DJ, let's say you and I grab some drinks later today, huh? There's an executive lounge up on the ninth floor that I think you'll enjoy.

M just just me and you. He would love to, Mr. Balding.

DJ, the pro.

Best ever, DJ. Your hideously grotesque n*pples saved our job.

Maybe, but I think I'm going to cancel on drinks with Mr. Balding. I'm not convinced his intentions are pure. Plus, Leverne and Shirley here are beginning to chafe.

Oh, dude, you're going. And your n*pples are going to stay erect at least until Mr. Balding finishes our evaluations and we check out this new clip Sensei SPF just sent me.

I'm done with this. [screaming] Awesome.

This elephant is more hung than a benevolent Iraqi leader.

That elephant's like Kelly Ripa. I like her, but she's always hanging out with that ugly wrinkled

Okay, is going to knock down these chips using a flying jump. It cost..

I'll give you the money. Go, go, go.

Hey, glass is one of those things that's impossible to kick through, right?

Oh, yeah. [screaming] Oh, those MIT kids and their clever pranks.

DJ Pie, why don't we get an early start at happy hour? Meet you by the executive elevators in . Okay, Snookhams.

Mr. Balding is taking DJ for drinks via the executive elevator. What gives?

Well, Ken, maybe if you had two impressively protrant n*pples instead of the minuscule ant bites currently

residing on your pathetic chest. We'd be headed to the executive elevator instead of DJ. But you don't, do you, Ken? You and your sorry n*pples disgust me.

This is all your fault and your fault and [screaming] your fault.

[singing]

[singing]

[music]

Oh my god, it's my bar miss video. Ask me where I got it from. No, that that's okay.

No, no, no. De, ask me where I got it from. Come on. Come on. I don't want to ask. Ask me where I got it from.

Hey, Fro. Where did you get my bar mitzvah video from? YouTube.

It's like YouTube but juice. [laughter] Which one is the uncle who molested you?

Oh. Uh, the bald guy on the right

[laughter]

and the guy with the sunglasses in the back row [laughter] and the other guy with sunglasses in the

back row [laughter] and I think the cameraman.

Oh god, this music is awful. Who's your DJ? Dr. Drrele, [laughter]

[screaming]

I never thought I'd be so bored watching a video full of boobies.

Yeah, it's amazing that they're so good at controlling the media when they can't even control my uncle Mari. [laughter]

DJ Ouija Pie, can I call you that? The Executive Lounge is made for couples like you and me. Yep. Everyone here appreciates fine vodkas kept at °.

Yeah, I can see that. Hey, Poopsie. What do you say you and I go ice fishing tomorrow? Huh?

Oh, well, actually, um, tomorrow's my mother's birthday. So, I'm your mother now. [music]

So, cancel on the old bag. Tell her a couple things suddenly popped up.

[laughter]

I don't get it. Don't fight it, Schmeckle. We're a thing now. From this point on, you and I are joined at the nip.

We are. Oh. On Sunday, I'm going to sponsor you to join my polar bear swim club. But Sunday is my fun day.

Monday, you'll be my guest in a very exclusive meat locker suare. Then I want you to meet my brother drives an ice cream truck.

DJ the fro.

Don't touch me. Stop touching me. Don't get out. Stop touching my boobs, pervert.

Yeah, don't stop touching our boob. You know what would solve this problem?

If everyone just relaxed, took off their tops, maybe made out with each other.

You know, maybe smooshed their boobs together.

Hey ladies, the only person getting off here is going to be me.

Son of a [ __ ]

[screaming]

The driver on the bus just punched a boob. Is going to get sued. Looks like a

dude. The driver on the bus is really screwed and she only makes grand a year.

[screaming]

Yeah. Oh, look at you three. You're pathetic.

Tic tac nips is what you are. You're ugly and worthless. What did I ever do to deserve you?

Bro, please. You got to give me the key to the thermostat. I can't handle Mr.

Balding anymore. He's getting really, really clingy. We have like maybe two things in common. No way, Deej.

No way, Deej. Not until Balding finishes our evaluations. Oh, I know you can do it, buddy. Just like I know you'll love this clip Sneezeguard just sent us.

Hi, I'm from the firm. They said that you wanted someone to beat you and mistreat you.

This is what happens when you don't return your Netflix. [laughter] I like you.

Yeah. What are you doing? You'll see what I will do.

This is the worst role playing since I walked in on my parents playing cheerleader and passed out naked fat guy with weird ba*ls.

My mom was not the cheerleader.

Honey, we can stop the interviews. I think we found our nanny.

No way I could make a -year-old chimp perform karate if he didn't want to do it. He just likes it. He just puts on the key in Wow. I can't even teach my hamster not to die from neglect.

If you ask me, that is a waste of a test gym. I mean, that thing should be getting its eyeballs burned with hairspray right now. [laughter]

Come on, monkey. Stop goofing around and bite this guy's p*nis off.

I'm Busty Hart. Hi, Boston. Hi.

I'm going to lift this lb bowling ball with just using one breast.

Well, of course you'd use a leathery old bag to carry a bowling ball. A duh.

I haven't seen such a stretched out top since I ran into Zack Efron at yoga last week.

Dude, are you crazy? He's totally a bottom.

What a way to carry your ba*ls to the alley.

That's nothing. Her vag*na can hold bowling pins. [laughter]

[cheering]

Deej, you know what the last clip reminded me of? Dee.

Uh-oh. He's gone. No. What are you doing, Deej? What about our evaluations?

I don't care. I have to turn off the air conditioning, bro. You don't know what the past months have been like. Mr.

Balding is so annoying. Plus, my n*pples are k*lling me.

Listen, man. You can't do this. You're sitting on a winning lottery ticket, but you're too much of a wuss to cash it in.

I'd do anything to have what you got. So would any of these guys. Yeah, we have fun together, goofing around, watching internet clips. Sure, we have a few

laughs, but you know what the best part of my day is for about [music] seconds when I walk up to your cubicle in the morning cuz I think maybe you

won't be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothing. You just left. I don't know much, but I know that.

I I didn't I didn't know. But you're right. No more nipple privileges.

No. [screaming] DJ the fro. Hi. It's time to finish up your evaluation with Mr. Balding.

No. [screaming] DJ the pro.

Yeah. [screaming] Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. [cheering] Oh yeah. Son of a [ __ ]

My a*s. [laughter] Dorine, I think I've made a horrible

mistake. It's my fault the thermostat is broken and the heat is blasting.

Mistake or no mistaken. What you did today took [music] guts. No, it took

n*pples. You took on DJ in the fro and live to tell the tale. I silently salute you.

You get me, Dorene. You really get me.

[sighs]

This sucks. minutes until our evaluation. And look at my n*pples. Worthless.

And dude, I stink. Well, with whatever time we have left working here, we might as well watch this crazy new video Whitehead meal ticket just sent us.

[laughter]

Oh, he's so cute.

That rabbit's like American beer. No hops. [laughter]

[screaming]

[crying]

[laughter]

No need to scream, lady. I'm pretty sure most of those scratches will just buff right out.

I don't think I can watch any more of this, Fro. It's pretty horrific.

What if we set it to a more upbeat, faith-based soundtrack?

Oh, yeah. That's much better, Fro. Thanks.

[cheering]

I can read my [music] Bible and pray.

Yes. I don't have to wait until I'm grown up [screaming] to be what Jesus wants me to be.

Yeah. [laughter]

[crying]

Fro. And you are remind me again.

My name is DJ. You you honestly you don't you don't remember me.

Oh yeah, right. Sorry. For some reason you're one of those people I just don't have a connection with. Anyway, I've been looking over your productivity

reports and apparently you two haven't done one second of work over the last months.

[bell] Now that is unacceptable.

Having said that, there's something about you, the fro, that reminds me of myself when I was your age.

[screaming]

I'm going to give you guys a second chance here and hold off on making my official recommendation for approximately months.

And as for you, my frozy wopsy, I don't know what you're doing for lunch today, but I'd love to have you join me in the executive sauna up on the th floor. By

the way, have you ever gone desert cactus watching? Huh? I I can loan you a gray sweatshirt if you need it.

Uh, he'd love to, sir. Next time on DJ in the fro.

Have you ever heard that song by Lou Reed, Perfect Day? Well, that's how I feel right now.

Want more? Go to djinthefro.mtv.com for clips of the show, exclusive interviews with the creators, and more.

Yeah, it's the jizziest.

DJ, the froze.

DJ the froj

the fro chirp.