01x12 - Akumu, Nochi Hare!

[bunniefuu]

THIS IS FICTION WITH NO INTENTIONAL RESEMBLANCE
TO ANY PERSONS, ORGANIZATIONS, OR OCCURRENCES.

Delish!

Good! So good! It's so good!

So good!

Hey! "Good" doesn't explain anything!

Tell us what they taste like!

All right now, let's see...

If we could get a word...

Hey!

This isn't much of a judging if no one's
going to provide commentary!

My name is Otani Nichido.

And my tongue knows
every flavor in its totality.

There's no food that
I can't explain the taste of.

This bloody aroma that's hard to put
into words but conjures up crimson roses!

This refined sweetness
that melts on the tongue!

What's the best way
to describe this dish...?

My palate is downright divine...

My take on food is taken
as the word of god.

But here I am...

faced with flavor unlike
anything I've ever encountered!

And that damned Akiyama created it!

He's the devil!

You seem pretty confident.

But don't be so sure
that victory is yours.

Except I am.
I'm absolutely positive I've won.

First, I brought out live ru ge
to shock the audience.

Then I drained them fresh and defied
expectations for how I'd use the birds.

The bloody show was all
to capture everyone's attention.

Once you scratch past the surface,
people are all greedy maniacs.

Idiots champing at the bit if you

so much as brush the tips
of their noses with a real feast.

And now I've exposed these pretentious
fakers for the dogs they really are!

That is my magic!

Come on! Would somebody
please give me a comment?!

I'd think something made of blood
would have a nasty, raw taste! Does it?!

Uh, no, that is definitely not the case.

That's thanks to the use of fresh blood

and the rose-scented meigui lu jiu.

The fresh cream also
mellowed out the flavor.

Does it taste like blood at all, then?

It does. And yet...

And yet?

I-It's completely unlike any blood dish
I've ever had before. Plus...

In spite of that, it has a vivid
blood flavor stronger than all of them!

A vivid...

...blood flavor?

There were four types of eggs, right?
What's the difference?

Th-They were...

coconut powder, matcha, powdered pearl...

And the other... I have a hard time
believing this myself, but...

O-Otani-sensei?

Damn it...

Th-The last flavor...

It's xie yan.

The elusive swiftlet nest.

Edible bird's nest!

Known as jinsiyan in China,

- they are produced by a species
of bird called the swiftlet.

- JINSIYAN

- The fluid produced in the
sublingual gland hardens,

- forming an edible nest called yanwo.

- YANWO

- It is generally accepted that the
highest quality nests are guan yan,

- GUAN YAN

- however...

- But there's a kind that's
considered even finer.

And that's this: xie yan.

It gets its name, which means "swiftlet
blood," from the orange color appearing

in the rare case that there's blood
in the saliva used for the nest.

It's so rare that most folks will go their
whole lives without laying eyes on 'em.

That's the legendary xie yan.

Unfortunately for him,
Otani's theory here

is generally considered
folklore in the modern day.

The blood-colored swiftlet nests are
the result of a chemical reaction

from high temperature,
high humidity environments.

Certain merchants who sold these red nests

would attempt to make them
seem more appealing

by claiming that swiftlet blood
was the reason for their color,

which is how the folktale spread.

Thirty years ago, there was no scientific
basis for disproving this tall tale!

We appreciate your understanding!

Otani-san, I think that this dessert

is, without a doubt,
of the highest quality possible.

Akiyama Jan... His incredible
creativity has given us

an eye-opening taste of
the future of Chinese cuisine!

And I believe it more than makes up
for the failings of his noodle dish.

Wh-What the hell's gotten into you?!

If you admit that, then he'll... he'll...

What the heck?

Otani-san, control yourself!

We can't admit it!

We can't let him win!

U-Uh, we'll now move on
to judging the next dish!

He really is incredible...

Are you ready, Gobancho?

But...

I am Gobancho Kiriko!

Gobancho?

Ready!

- SAN DUAN XIGUA ZHONG

- San duan xigua zhong.
Three desserts served in watermelons.

That is remarkable.

The first layer: shi.

Filled with xianguo xengrendofu,
fruity almond jelly.

The second layer: wei.

Yezhi dong guan yan, edible bird's
nest mixed into coconut milk.

The bottom layer: tian.

Zha ze ximilu, cold red bean soup
with beans and tapioca.

Please enjoy.

"Shi wei tian"?

"Eating is the fundamental basis
of human existence," eh?

Well, let's try it.

We'll start at the top
with this almond jelly.

Oh, what a devious surprise.

There's a grainy but
jiggly feeling in my mouth.

It's such a modern mouthfeel!

Quite right! It's like a combination
of the grit of agar

and the positives of jelly!

It's cute and colorful,
light, and easy to eat.

On to the second layer,
the coconut milk with edible bird's nest.

You really get the richness
and flavor of the coconut milk!

The edible nest acts as a gentle accent,
and it goes down so easily.

Coconut milk alone wouldn't
have such a wonderful flavor.

I take it you added coconut powder,
boiled it all, and then strained it.

The additional effort doubled the flavor!

It's a common dish, but you
can really feel the passion behind it.

And lastly, the cold red bean soup
with beans and tapioca...

This is great, too!

It's sweet and thick in a more
pronounced way than the other layers.

And the thickness brings out
this nice light purple color.

I used taro. The beans
also add to the coloring.

Its naturally thick from the ingredients,

so it isn't heavy, despite its density.

It's cool and so easy to eat.

This is an interesting blend of beans.

- HONG DOU, MEI DOU, JI
DOU, LU DOU, YAO DOU

- Their different sizes mean they take
different amounts of time to cook.

You would've had to calculate exactly
when to add them and in which order.

Despite the fact you were
making three types of dessert,

your process for all of them
was like clockwork.

The three layers of watermelon
was also quite an innovative idea.

That said...

It does leave room for improvement.

Huh?

Right. To put it positively,
I'd call it a technical masterpiece.

Less kindly, it's derivative.

It's more of a hodgepodge
of existing desserts.

You used modern sensibilities to
package it all quite wonderfully, but...

Despite giving us three offerings, the
difference between them isn't striking.

I'd agree. A starker variation
in the flavors would've helped.

I wouldn't want to compare it to Akiyama's
iconoclastic blood dessert, but...

I wonder what happened
to the inspirational creativity

you displayed when
making your shanhu mian.

Wait, you don't understand!

That was never my goal.

I wasn't trying to be
innovative or creative...

That wasn't what I was
looking to compete with!

Whoa there.

Hold on, folks.

- Otani-san?

- Otani-sensei?

You think Gobancho's dessert isn't
unique enough? I gotta disagree.

I think you're all overlookin'
something critical here.

Otani...?

Now watch this, Akiyama.

No way am I lettin' you win!

Now, dessert is served at the end
of a full-course meal, right?

Heavy desserts are no good for folks
who already have full stomachs!

Think of it the other way!

Sometimes yer comin'
to dessert with no room to spare.

These three desserts,
each distinctly rich,

give you options to choose from!

Aren't we overlookin' that kinda
consideration for the diner?

What do you say?!

I see. That does tie in to the
"shi wei tian" on the containers as well.

I gotta insist we don't let Akiyama's
egg surprise pull the wool over our eyes!

This dessert has something his arrogant
dish doesn't: kindness and consideration!

Wouldn't you say?

Those bloody eggs are
downright vulgar in comparison!

A fair point...

He described exactly what I was after.

My goal with this dessert was to play

with the sweetness, texture,
and thickness variables.

As much as I hate this guy
being the one to highlight it...

What a crock!

Hey, Otani. For someone who can't
speak to the flavor of my bloody dessert,

you sure as hell weren't holding back
when you were eating it!

And after revealing yourself
for the lowlife you are,

you want to talk about
"kindness and consideration"?

Who do you think you're fooling?
Is this some kind of scheme?

The rest of you aren't any better!

Dress it up however you want,

but you're all just a bunch
of gluttonous slobs!

Or have you already forgotten
how you were stuffing your faces?!

Hey, Kiriko!

You're done!

N-Now, last up is Celene Yang's dish.

Right!

Pigeon blood eggs?
Three watermelon options?

Get a load of Celene Yang's
nouvelle chinois...

Nobody can compare!

Incredible.

What glamorous presentation.

Mugua xue ge ju bu dian.

- MUGUA XUE GE JU BU DIAN

- Papaya under baked pudding
made with xue ge.

It's so cute!

It's actually glittering. How beautiful.

Okay, here we go. This oughta do.

Well, what a dreamy dessert we got here!

- Just look at it, folks! The way
this netlike sugar sculpture shines!

- SUGAR SCULPTURE: MADE BY COMBINING SUGAR, CORN SYRUP,
AND WATER, HEATING IT, AND COOLING TO SHAPE IT

- And didn't it turn out wonderful?

Masterfully done! It's really something.

And isn't the way you can see
to the beautiful inside somethin'?

Those rose petals are
a downright superb touch!

Don't you folks agree?

Just what I'd expect of nouvelle chinois!

A real work of art,
spun on the white canvas of a plate.

And these flowers—

By all means, please, try it.

What is with him?
He hasn't even eaten it yet.

Well, let's give it a taste.

Right.

Oh, how interesting. This is—

How interesting! This is delicious!

This baked papaya is great, to start.

Cooked down like this, the sweetness
and aroma are concentrated!

But it's still juicy!
A lovely tropical taste.

It's like the blue skies and sea of the
tropics are spreading through my mouth!

And then there's this!

Xue ga!

Frog oviduct!

It's got that delicate, squishy texture!
With all the fishiness taken out of it!

You folks know this?!

Xue ge is good for a weak constitution!

It has medicinal benefits
for the throat and lungs!

Now that's my idea
of a balanced, healthy diet!

True enough.

What is with him?
Now he's trying to gas up my dish.

Can't say I've ever had a better dessert.

- I don't care what it takes,
I won't let Akiyama win.

- Pitch-perfect presentation and flavor!

- I've gotta convince the others
that this dessert is better.

- It's a victory for creativity.
I'd eat this every chance I get!

- My voice has got divine authority...

Ew! It's so blobby, it's disgusting!

A frog's oviducts?!

I don't think I can have any more!

It just seems nasty and fishy-tasting!

Where the hell do you get off,
you numskull?!

You don't even appreciate the flavor!

Whining about how
it's squishy and grosses you out?!

But it really is squishy!

You're not fit to be judging squat!
I want you gone!

Stop that, Otani-san!

You're not the only judge
in this competition!

I do have to ask, Yang.

Did you really think such an ingredient
would be popular with the masses?

You didn't consider some
diners would be reluctant

upon learning that xue ge is frog oviduct?

Would you include an item like this
on your own restaurant's menu?

Pudding made with xue ge, frog oviduct?

Well...

I'm afraid this appeals
too directly to gourmands.

It's not the kind of thing
an average diner would appreciate.

Most definitely.

A wonderful effort, no doubt.

Nice try, Otani-sensei.

I appreciate the help.

Shut...

Shut yer hole, you little sh*t!

You sh*t! You little sh*t!

Everything... It's all his fault!

It never woulda come to this
if it weren't for him!

He played me like a fiddle by
making me his unwilling accomplice!

I'm Otani Nichido! I've gotta be
the preeminent food critic!

And he... He thinks he can...

You stupid brat!

What's so damn funny, you scumbag?!

Damn you! Damn you!

No one's trying to stop Otani.

Goes to show how fed up they
all are with Akiyama's arrogance.

Unhand me, you little turds!

Who do you think you're manhandling?!

That is quite enough!

Judge Otani Nichido, you are
hereby ejected from the premises!

Ejected?!

A-A fellow judge...

Ejected?

Otani!

Sucks to be you!

You showed your true colors
when you came at me! You lose!

W-We apologize for that display!

We'll now begin the tasting
for our audience judges!

I'd like to ask the judging panel
to return to their seats.

What is this?

They're eating my dessert... but they
brought Akiyama's blood eggs with them?

Looks like my blood eggs are a real hit.

This means they're too scared
to put them down

because they're worried
they won't get any more!

It's time for the results of the second
half of the finale, the dessert battle!

First, how has the audience voted?!

Oh my goodness, look at that!

Thirteen points for Gobancho!
Thirteen for Yang!

And Akiyama receives a shocking 74!

What a landslide victory!

I-I only got thirteen points?!

You gotta be kidding me!

Tch, not a perfect score? What a shame!

The current total scores including
the points from the first round...

Gobancho has 137! Yang has 106!

And that's 107 for Akiyama!

He's risen to second place!

There's no telling
how this could go, folks!

And now it's time... for the scoring
by our panel of judges!

Listen up, people. You know who we've
gotta crown as our winner, right?

Otani-san?

That little b*stard
called us "gluttonous slobs."

If we let him win, we'll be
laughingstocks. Am I wrong?

But as a judge, it's my intent
to give a fair assessment—

Idiot!

You absolute buffoon!

A chef doesn't just whip up tasty dishes!

A chef who doesn't treat
customers like guests?

Who makes a mockery of judges?

A chef who will win
by any means necessary?

You really think that kind of scum
should be Japan's top Chinese chef?!

You really think he
deserves a title like that?

You wanna tell all the chefs of Japan
that this guy represents them?

You wanna encourage them to be like him?!

Is that what you want?!

You understand, right?
We vote for one chef...

Got it?

Remarkable!

Eighty points for Akiyama!
Fifty for Gobancho!

And ten for Yang?

Wh-What the...?

I only got ten points?!

I see now.

Looks like the judges shored up
Kiriko's score to keep me from winning.

Talk about playing dirty.

A-And here are the total scores!

Akiyama Jan has 187 points!

Gobancho Kiriko has 187 points!

A tie! It's a tie, but...

A tie?!

I'm tied with Akiyama?!

That's hilarious! A tie, huh?

So, how do we decide the winner now?

I guess we've gotta go to sudden death
and have the scoring redone?

Sudden death?

Fine by me.
I'll fight him one-on-one and win!

A tie...

Sudden death it is.

E-Excuse me...

The panel has only submitted 140 points.

That's only fourteen judges' worth.

Fourteen?

But how?

Right! We're missing the score
of Judge Otani, who was ejected.

I'll settle this!

O-Otani-san?

My ten points go to Gobancho Kiriko!

Anybody got a problem with that?!

I might've been ejected for violence,

but that ain't the same thing as
being stripped of my judge's position!

Enough!

Go back!

Looks like you lose after all,
you little sh*t!

No sudden death for you!

It's 197 to 187, with victory
going to Gobancho Kiriko!

Akiyama Jan... you lose.

Hey! Jan!

Ahoy there!

Okonogi?

I was right!

You were gonna head home without
attending the awards ceremony.

I thought you might've been
crying, but you seem fine.

You seriously thought that? Dumbass.

Winning like this isn't right!

Damn it!

Next time, I'll win in a way
that's clear to everybody!

THIRD PLACE: CELENE YANG
FROM SEA DRAGON, KOBE

The feelin's mutual, Kiriko-chan.

I think we're gonna be runnin'
into each other again soon enough.

Come on, don't be a sourpuss!
You won this thing, right?

You oughta look the part! Go on.

I guess we can overlook
that punch from Akiyama.

A little tit for tat. Let's call it even.

You wanna get something to eat
and then head back?

Sure.

That was so amazing, though!
That pigeon blood dessert of yours.

There's one over here!

Don't let it get away!

Make sure to catch them!

Pigeons!

Catch them!

Cut them off from the other side!

I'm gonna make a pigeon
blood dessert, too!

I wonder if Kiriko-san's seeing this.

Maybe.

- Iron Wok Jan Part 1, fin!

- CHAMPION: GOBANCHO KIRIKO
RUNNER UP: AKIYAMA JAN