01x12 - Gabriella's Return

[bunniefuu]

yeah that's right sipping that gin and juice i hear that sammy why are you always watching rap videos cause snoop's got it together he's got his mind on his

money and his money on his mind oh that's similar to your credo isn't it except you've got your mind on my money and my money on your mind hey don't try

to rap thin boy slim it doesn't become you you sound like one of them spice girls okay old spice

i bet you do it you're missing a step you're doing the easy jokes you're too predictable buddy it worries me move out

by five oh i didn't see that one coming good man now throw me the clicker

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low five

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low five

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good night jamie and thanks again for letting me and the kids stay the night todd you guys live here oh yeah right

never mind ah

lola lola ah lola oh god it's all my fault

i made lola run away all right take it easy todd she probably just snuck out to go see the backstreet boys and sink jamie in sync come on get with the

program dad why are you sneaking in no one cares what time you get home yeah just keep it in practice never know hey believe it or

not i may not live here with you forever promise so what's with all the hullabalooza oh i wouldn't let lola go

to her concert alone and she got really mad at me and she ran away and it's all my fault you told a year old she

couldn't go to a rock and roll show with her friends geez why don't you just give her a bus pass to a pimp's house sammy i'm just saying

but only one in ten runaways is typically found in that condition craig now this is my cop friend talking

hey there you are any luck no the police said the best thing we can do is wait here in case she shows up well let's keep a good thought after all children

are god's precious gifts of life i mean that's what we're really talking about here excuse me sammy but where was this

precious sentiment of yours when we were growing up let's focus shall we gary okay who wants to hope she comes home

soon cordial oh

lola you have me so worried are you okay ugh gabriella what are you doing here lola

showed up at my place lola don't you have something to say to your father oh yeah sorry

bobby hmm nice place jamie lola thank goodness you're safe

oh hello mrs you are such a hottie sammy sammy do we know each other baby

because i think i'd recall meeting such a beautifully hot-hot woman as yourself i'm your daughter-in-law gabriella yes

really well look at the lateness of the hour it's getting up there

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[Applause]

wow you're big yep i'm gonna turn pro they me too hey wait what's your name gabriella

we'll never forget it

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oh i think i love that gary hola

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oh todd i was wondering um do you want to get something to eat do i

todd i meant with me hey even better and when i'm not doing massage i study

french at the y wow you really turn your life around for the better hey um does jaime let you use the pool anytime

you want well sure yeah well except for the time craig had the squirts in it then nobody went in for about a week

uh-huh and uh what about the tennis court no i don't think craig ever had the squirts on the tennis court

no does jamie let you use the tennis court well i suppose but what does that got to do with the squirts and do you get to go to premieres and and meet

movie stars too i just last week i met miss elaine boosler oh todd

where did we go wrong ah who knows i think it was the little disagreements that finally did us in

for instance i generally like staying home and watching sports on tv whereas you preferred to go out and have sex

with every guy that wasn't me oh todd i miss those days

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todd and gabriella have been gone a long time just play the cards don't you think it's a little weird them going out for dinner like this are you kidding me some

of the hottest sex i ever had with your mother occurred after our devil i mean yes gary that is a little

peculiar gary does have a point last time gabriella left todd he didn't get out of bed for a whole month in bed for a whole month and not once doing a

horizontal buff at least tell people you had the measles jeez you got a family name to protect

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hey guys gabriella's moving in

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why does everyone look so mad because you're a damn fool i have a fool for a brother and a deadbeat for a father what

hey don't drag me into this let's focus on the fool geez you get sidetracked easy we're not mad todd we're just we're concerned

don't listen to him buddy they're just jealous can it sammy todd she'll destroy you again leave the boy alone what's

your problem with gabriella anyway well for starters she hardly ever sees her kids yes she's giving them space letting them grow you got to admire that i know

you do all right maybe things didn't work out in the past but my gabriella is a changed woman yeah how's that she speaks

french oh but todd hey we gave sammy a second chance didn't we was that a shot you get one freebie quiet and i don't

know if you've noticed guys but i've been pretty lonely and the kids well they deserve to have as many parents as possible

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go crockey hunter smack that gator with your good arm oh you don't need it hey

what do you do what's wrong you don't just drapes into my house change my tv and drink my beer oh i was under the

impression this was jamie's house jamie what what's the matter hey i'm just cooking up some beer battered shrimp for

dinner from the cooking show i mean that's okay right of course but uh sam don't give her any grief gabriella's

cooking what are you doing for us me i had the ambiance why do you think people like to come here clear out let her do

what she needs to do but she did we learn nothing from vietnam

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don't wait for me guys dig in this is great i gotta admit this sure tastes good

i would just like to take this opportunity to thank you for welcoming me back into your hearts cheers cheers

you're not eating i'm allergic to shrimp to bs

you can fool some of the people some of the time what are you blabbering about that gabriella if that is indeed her num

de plume that's right i too can play the french card soon she'll drop her guard or her suit

either way i'll be there look i'm not thrilled about this either but she's done nothing but weight on us all hand and foot i think we owe it to her to give her another chance mark my words

jamie your forgiving nature will come back to bite you in the hiney oh it already has okay that was a shot geez you don't even bother to hide him

anymore i'm telling you that trumpet is up to something and it's along the lines of no good

ah give it a rest

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hey what's little jamie doing out this late why that cunning little harlot

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some people have no respect for other people's property

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ah a reclined seat looks like somebody's been four on the floor and i don't mean driving

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so you went for a little ride last night huh or should i say you're taking my son todd on one ooh hey that was pretty good

sammy i'm afraid i don't comprawl what you're talking about really missy we'll comprom this french [ __ ] i will not let

you hurt todd or my grandkids this mansion ain't big enough for the two of us i know what oh you heard me face it

old man you're past your prime it's my turn to ride the gravy train now oh i see your challenge and i will meet it head-on

that said are you as turned on as i am no yeah no i see oh well ado

huh i said it dear you didn't know it it's french you know what would make this perfect

todd uh waffles uh well i was gonna say if we could stay like this forever but

okay but only if you make them from scratch scratch my a*s i'll cook them myself

i'll miss you oh gee i oh hey kathy gotta make waffles

hey baby yeah he's gone oh i miss you too sugar but that's just got to be the way it is for

now we still on for tonight i love you

james i just overheard gabrielle on the phone she's cheating on todd what i heard her make a date for tonight oh my god oh who do you believe all right we

have to do something about this before she destroys todd let's just tell todd to gabby's still a skank and grab some tacos sammy todd's in love he's not

gonna believe anything we say about her we need to show him proof that she's playing him you mean like me sleeping with her what you have to catch her in the act

the act with me right no we have to follow her on this date of verse but if this guy isn't how shall we say up to

the task i fill in right i give it to her i'm just brainstorming here

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gravity why did you just rent a freaking kayak it would have been a little hard to tell gabrielle in the jag and not get noticed no james hard is not being able

to low low-five you because my hands wedged somewhere between my a*s and a glove box focus we're doing this for todd remember hey did you bring the video camera it's

in the back there's a back all right we get it the car is tiny there's a bag hey blake got some good

ones

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hey there's my friends chuck and marty i guess the rumors are true mine is not to judge hey did i ever tell you about the time i

got stoned and made out with a guy what jamie it was the s people did things like that in those days can you just find gabriella's room where'd you put

the blank tape it's back there somewhere i remember chucking it aside when i was looking for my chiclets

hey i found the room where second floor but i can only get the tops of their heads we gotta get up higher

are you getting them almost i'm gonna jump across to the roof

i don't think you understand the laws of gravity jamie laws are made to be broken so are old rickety bones so you don't

believe i can do it do you no it's not that dad well watch this laugh a second yeah one

it two here i go three look at me huh

you okay i think i broke my a*s in three places hey it still works unlike my booty

oh my god we got here i didn't see anything

though i definitely heard something which one come on stupid remote

there we go oh wow you guys you know this is a real eye-opener i've been such a fool it's okay todd we're

here for you oh how could i have been so stupid eh the heart wants what it wants now

there's only one thing left for me to do we did it this is gonna be good like the thrilling

manila a rubble in the jungle there's something that rhymes with something else get her boy

gabby it's time time to end this charade todd sammy and james have opened my eyes

oh yeah they showed me that video view with another man but todd i uh she's on the rope son work the body quiet he knows what to do oh

look i know you're in demand and i know i'd be a fool to let you slip through my fingers again what

so if i may be so bold i'd like permission to cut in front of this long line of men and

ask you to marry me oh my god todd well of course i will

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i give up

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todd when we showed you the video what we were trying to tell you was she's blinking everyone but you now i know you're all trying to protect me from

getting hurt and i love you for she's a low down dirty hoe the lowest the dirty and the holiest for once i agree with

sammy oh you guys all right now if you'll excuse me i'm gonna go find a toxin get ready

for my wedding oh there's just no talking to him don't worry guys i'll take care of this

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you wanted to see me yes please come in sit down this is money it's for you

if you leave now and never come back i understand tonight very well

morning todd hey how are ya are you doing okay good morning jamie flapjacks

that witch that conniving little witch how come nobody saved many flapjacks okay it's up to me i'll take care of it

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hey baby yeah so you're laying out eh

i don't know if you know this but i'm the money guy around here that's right if money's what you want then i'm your

man really lotion sure oh wait let me get my top off so you can get

every inch of me uh-huh oh but first i want to kiss you

i want to kiss you long hard and deep oh i

like you could do better yes i can it takes a delicate touch to handle a woman such as this

ki your time is up [ __ ] oh easy

we're all friends here chicklet talk about your lucky shots i can't

believe this is happening hey guys the tucks for my first wedding still fit you look like a movie star todd yes john

candy comes to mind super talent oh thanks hey you guys go ahead uh i gotta take

care of one last thing honey it's gonna be fine we'll have sex

on the weekends oh honey honey i gotta go i know it's bad luck to see you before the wedding but well i couldn't keep

this bottled up any longer todd i hear the headache huh well anyways i got a great surprise for you

heaven on blocks a trailer park i don't get it why would we want to leave this place so we can have a place

that's all our own you know where two can be as one oh i know that look i'm excited too

hey i'll see you downstairs mrs todd alonzo blake for the second time

boy i wonder what's taking her so long she's probably thumbing through catalogs trying to figure out how she's gonna spend james's money i say she's upstairs

boinking the caterer oh you guys are the best kathy could you check on gabriella

oh my god lola uh she left didn't she i'm sure she probably just

yeah you okay i'm fine she leaves that's what she does it's my father we should be worried about

i don't deserve a man as decent as you you're a wonderful father and the kids are very lucky to have you

gabriella women you can't live with him and you yeah i got nothing come on boys open bar

writing that note was really sweet of you come on dad let's dance

weird wedding huh yeah just so hello it would have been nice for you kids to have a mom we got you dad

him nothing you got your grandpa now let's go shake some booty marine game

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