08x01 - Homeward Bound/Pressure Cooker

[bunniefuu]

♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls like ping pong ba*ls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's gotta do what he can to survive ♪

♪ In the Loud House In the Loud House ♪

♪ Duck, dodge, push and shove That's how we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House In the Loud House ♪

♪ One boy, ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪

♪ Loud House♪

♪ Loud, Loud House ♪

Poo poo!

[dramatic music playing]

[Dad] A little higher. Little higher. Lower.

A little lower. It has to be perfect for Lori.

It's a big day in the Loud House.

Lori's taking a gap year from college

and moving back home

while she decides if golf is really her future.

Which is awesome because Lori's always been the glue

that holds us together.

Even Mr. Grouse is psyched.

Hey, Louds, I found these old clubs

while cleaning out my garage.

Maybe Lori can help me practice my swing.

Wah-whoa!

Whoa! [screams, grunts]

-Honey, are you alright? -[Dad groans]

-[honking] -She's here!

-It's her. -[Lynn] She's back!

Lori!

It's literally so good to be home. Huh?

Welcome back, sweetie!

[everyone whooping]

[overlapping chatter]

Lori, look. I baked you a cake with a surprise inside.

It's candy. Oh! I ruined it.

And don't worry, Lori.

I made room for you in the closet.

Tanya will just have to wear her winter clothes.

And I soundproofed the bathroom so you can let 'em rip.

You won't have to run the faucet anymore.

-[scoffs] Lana! -Guys! Back up.

Give Lori some space.

She lives here now,

so we'll all have plenty of time with her.

Uh... actually, about that.

I'll only be staying here temporarily.

[all gasp]

Now that I've been on my own for a while,

I feel like I need my own space.

So I'm gonna find a realtor to help me look for an apartment.

Why?! [sobs]

That's, um, amazing. Love that for you.

You know, I just realized I forgot to make my bed.

Can everyone, except for Lori, give me a hand?

Fitted sheets are so tricky.

Ow!

[chuckles]

Told you I needed help with my swing.

This is terrible!

-The worst! -It stinks.

We just got Lori back. We can't lose her again so fast.

There has to be some way to get her to stay.

We can lock her in a coffin in the basement.

Or use the numbing properties of jellyfish venom

to incapacitate her.

[groans]

Wait, Lori said she was gonna find a realtor.

But what if we find a realtor

who only shows her the worst possible places to live?

How are we supposed to pull that off?

Oh, I don't know.

Are there any actors in the family?

Luan Loud, thespian, at your service.

Okay. Operation "Sabotage Lori's apartment hunt

so she'll stay forever" is a go.

[tires screech]

[humming]

You must be Lori. [clears throat]

I mean, you must be Lori. Sunny Holmes, at your service.

If the homes aren't sunny,

then they aren't Sunny Holmes' homes. [laughs]

Hmm, your laugh sounds so familiar.

Oh, that's not my laugh.

Thisis my laugh. [deep laugh]

Well, thanks for meeting with me.

I still can't believe I found your flier on my car.

I was literally just looking for a realtor.

It's fate! Now, are you ready

to make your apartment dreams come true?

Yes! This place looks amazing. Are you sure I can afford it?

Oh, this one? Definitely not.

This is my place. But don’t worry.

I have some real gems to show you,

just a stone’s throw from here.

Why don’t you drive?

It'll give you that sense of coming home.

You're gonna love the first one.

It's a cozy studio with a waterfront view.

[birds chirping]

Wow! The view is nice, but where is the apartment?

It's right here. I just love the hip, retro vibe.

And look at all this natural light.

There's a hole in the ceiling.

That's called a skylight. Very hard to find.

Uh, and where's the bathroom?

What better place for when nature calls

than nature itself?!

Um, right. What else have you got?

Follow me.

It worked.

Thanks for letting us use your van, Chunk.

Guess not everyone's suited

to the hardcore rock n' roll life, eh?

Well, time for my bath. [yells]

Now if you don't mind roommates, this is the place for you.

The tenant, a real sweetheart,

is looking for a subletter while her boyfriend is on tour.

He's a DJ.

[gasps]

[suspenseful music plays]

Hard pass!

I thought so.

[Lori] Uh, the cemetery?

[crow squawking]

Just picture waking up in this one-bedroom gem.

Isn't it to die for?

-You gotta be kidding. -[screeching]

[Lori screams]

Sure, sure, this place needs a little love

but it has oodles of potential.

Um, this is a dump.

-Literally. -[flies buzzing]

I hear you. I hear you.

But, hey, the rental market in Royal Woods

is crazy right now.

And this place comes with a free mattress.

-[squeaking] -[shrieks]

You have to have something better than this.

Hmm. Ooh, you're in luck.

I do have one last listing How are you with alligators?

Ugh!

Oh, sorry your apartment hunt was a bust.

-But we're happy you're back. -Yeah, it's gonna be fine.

I'll save money and I can be with you guys.

Hey! Hope I didn't miss anything exciting

while I was definitely away at play practice all day long.

-[all gasp] -[all] Phew!

Well, I'm exhausted. I think I'll go to bed early.

I could really use a good night's sleep.

[loud snoring]

Acid wash jeans... [snores]

Five-toed shoes... [grunts] Skorts...

Actually those are back in. [snores loudly]

[frustrated grunt]

[shrieks]

Ugh, Boo-Boo Bear, it was horrible.

Thanks to Tanya and Leni, I got zero sleep last night.

I literally have bags under my eyes.

Um, that's your cue to tell me I look beautiful.

Hello? Boo-Boo Bear? Why are you making that face?

[static crackles]

Ugh! Frozen again? What is up with the Wi-Fi?

Hey, who's hogging all the... Wi-Fi...

Bye, Fiona!

[gadgets beeping]

[groans]

Bye, you guys! I had the best time.

Let's make sushi Saturdays a thing.

-Intruder! Intruder! -[alarm blaring]

[shrieks]

My B. I forgot to tell you about my new security system.

[pants]

Hey, what's for dinner? I'm starv...

-ing. -[burps]

-[kids groan] -[chuckles]

I tried to stop them.

But it was like feeding time at the zoo.

There is leftover pizza in the fridge.

[burps] Sorry, I ate that.

Ah, I'll just grab a power bar.

-Ooh, yeah, I ate those too. -[grumbles]

What? It's bulking season.

Ugh! Whatever, I'm too excited to eat.

I have an interview for a job

at the Burnt Bean tomorrow morning.

I want to make sure I get enough sleep,

which means Tanya will have to take the couch tonight.

[gasps]

[yawns]

Ah, good morning, fam.

Lincoln, why are you eating tomato soup for breakfast?

-Because it's lunch. -[mug shatters]

You said you needed a lot of sleep

so I turned off your alarm

and made sure everyone was super quiet all morning.

You're welcome.

No!

I'm three hours late for my interview!

Lana, out! I need the shower!

Eh, no can do.

The drain's clogged. I'm snaking it right now.

[screams] No!

[Lori] Forget the shower!

[panting]

-Surprise, Lori! -Dad, look out!

-Oh! -Sorry.

Aw, it was candy-filled... Again.

[panting]

[screams]

Why?!

The eternal question.

-[grunting] -[crow squawks]

[car tires screech]

[all gasp]

-So how did it go? -How does it look like it went?

Ooh, a guessing game.

Let's see, running mascara, ugly cry face...

It was terrible. I literally bombed.

Was it because you used the word literally incorrectly?

[sobs] Let's face it,

this living situation is so not working out.

But there are, like, zero apartments avail.

Maybe taking a gap year was a mistake.

[sniffles]

[all groan nervously]

Why is everyone exchanging guilty looks?

Lori, there's something we need to tell you.

This is all our fault.

Sunny Holmes isn't real. She's Luan.

[chuckles]

What?!

Explain. Now!

We were so excited when we thought you were moving back,

and we didn't want to lose you again.

So we sabotaged your apartment hunt.

We're really sorry.

[sighs] Classic. I should have known.

Oh, don't blame yourself.

I gave an extremely realistic performance.

In fact, I just sold Cheryl and Meryl

a lakefront vacation house.

I guess we didn't realize how hard it would be for you

to live at home again.

Please don't give up on Royal Woods.

New plan. We'll find you a legit realtor.

Right, guys?

[overlapping chatter]

[strains] Ah!

Welp, I'm all packed.

I made you a couple of Lynn-sagnas

to put in the freezer.

Your new place does have a freezer, right?

Of course. It's really cute, you're gonna love it.

Remember, you're welcome to do laundry here anytime.

I know. Thanks, Mom.

[sobs]

-We'll miss you! -Good luck!

[all] Huh?

Oh, I totally forgot to mention.

I noticed Mr. Grouse cleaning out his garage,

and I convinced him to rent it to me.

Even better, he said I can pay him in golf lessons.

[beeps]

This way I can have my independence

and you guys can still see me whenever you want.

[overlapping chatter]

Hey! Mind the azaleas!

Don't make me regret this, Louds.

[whimsical music playing]

[intense electronic dance music playing]

[horn blares]

[music fades]

It's the monthly potluck at Sunset Canyon, which I love,

because they always serve my favorite meal:

one of everything!

Mm-mmm!

How much longer?

Ooh, it should be any second now.

It's Potluck Night.

Why don't you guys have plates full of food?

We're not eating

because we don't wanna fill up before...

[Nana Gayle] Dessert!

-Woo-hoo! -Yes!

Move it, you old farts!

-Go, Seymour. -[screaming]

[groans]

I made butter cookies!

I'll take as many as I can get.

Eh... I mean, uh, they're for Myrtle. [chuckles]

Oh, I get it. It's all about the...

-[Clyde] Dessert! -[Seymour screams]

I made chocolate eclairs.

[cheering]

Who needs teeth when these melt in your mouth?

[Bernie] Oh, yeah...

And nothing's butter than your better cookies, Gayle.

Hey, wait, you know what I mean.

It's a shame only we get to enjoy 'em .

-[munches] -[Seymour] Hey.

You two should open a bakery.

Then you could share them with the world.

Or Royal Woods, at least.

Ooh, I love the idea of a bakery.

Can you imagine us in business together, Clyde?

I can, and I'm doing it right now.

Too bad I don't have the money to rent a space in town.

And I can't withdraw my retirement savings

for another years.

What about opening a food truck?

Everyone knows the future is mobile.

That's why I have wheels on my DJ stand.

[engine revs]

Whoa! Somebody stop those beats!

Good idea. What do you say, Nana Gayle?

We love baking, and spending time together,

and the open road.

-Wanna open a food truck? -You bet I do.

But where are we going to find a truck?

I got ya covered.

-Ta-da! -[all groan]

[air hisses]

Sunset Canyon's old travel bus, the Wrinkly Rider.

It's been sittin' here gettin' rusty and dusty for years.

[clanks]

It certainly has... potential. [giggles]

We just need to figure out how to fix it up.

Hmm... [snaps]

Lincoln, you're related to a whole bunch of people

who are great at this kind of thing.

Do you think they'd want to help us?

I know they would.

[cheering]

[strains] Heads up!

[loud crash]

Phew! Sweating up a storm in here.

[grunts]

[Lynn] Thanks, sis.

I got good news and bad news.

The bad news is, you got rats.

-What's the good news? -Now I got rats.

[vehicle approaching]

-[engine revving] -[metal squeaking]

Greetings, Food Truckers.

I just replaced two stoves and a fridge at Lynn's Table

and I thought you could use the old ones.

As an entrepreneur myself,

I can tell you that running your own business is very rewarding.

But it requires a lot of hard work,

patience, and compromise.

Oh, I'm not worried.

-Clyde and I are always in sync. -In sync.

[both chuckle]

What color do you want to paint her?

Luscious lavender, or elegant emerald?

-Lavender. -Emerald.

[both chuckle]

Oh, we'll figure it out later.

[Howard] This is so exciting.

What desserts are you going to make for your truck?

Quick and easy treats. Cookies, brownies, lemon bars.

Really? I was thinking more of a French patisserie.

Classic tarts, macarons, and crème brûlées.

Those sound delicious.

Oh, but their prep time is really long.

We need to be able to move quickly.

Yes, but something good is worth the wait.

[clears throat] Well, you can decide that later.

Why don't you just start baking? I'd love some lemon bars.

Here we go, lemon bars. One cup of sugar...

[lively accordion music plays]

[gasps]

[menacing music plays]

[coughs] What are you doing?

We need to measure. Baking is all about precision.

To me it's about instinct and feeling.

Letting the lemon bars tell me what they need.

Ah, more sugar.

You know what, I'm just going to make something else.

Ooh, peach cobbler.

Fine.

[both] Eh?

-Simple sweets, yeesh! -Fancy treats, indeed.

We should probably step in before this gets out of hand.

Wait! I know how we can solve our menu dilemma.

The food truck has two windows and two stoves, right?

Let's each take a stove and window,

and bake and sell our own treats.

That's a great idea!

Whichever desserts sell more, simple or fancy,

will be our permanent menu from then on.

May the best desserts win.

[Nana Gayle] Simple Sweet Treats is open for business.

So is Fancy Pants Pastries.

Seems kinda quiet over there. [chuckles]

Meanwhile, you'll notice I have a line of customers.

That's because your desserts take forever.

While you've been waiting

for your molten chocolate cakes to cool,

I just sold out of bear claws.

[embarrassed chuckle]

If you're hungry, there's no waiting at my window.

[all gasp]

-[cheering] -[Clyde gasps]

[grumbles]

-[pops] -Ugh.

Two-for-one macarons at my window.

-[clamoring] -[gasps]

[Nana Gayle] Three-for-one brownies back at my window.

-[clamoring] -Ugh!

Free poached pear tart when you buy a plum galette.

It's raining free chocolate chip cookies over here.

I'm giving away whole Bundt cakes over here.

[clamoring]

Okay, we need to step in and stop this.

-[dialing] -[line rings]

Lincoln. I've got a code scarlet.

Oh, the competition between you and Nana Gayle's

gotten heated and you want to prove

that your way is better so you need me

to get you more customers?

Yes. And you thought we wouldn't need that code.

-[metal clanking] -Don't settle for simple.

Get your fancy pants pastries on the other side of the bus.

[cheering]

[horn blares]

Spinnin' simple tunes for peeps

who like simple treats,

which are on that side of the bus!

[cheering]

-[grumbles] -I have a friend too, you know.

And mine has an air horn.

Sorry, did you need the cinnamon? Oops.

No, just the butter. All of it.

[overlapping chatter]

I get the cornstarch!

[both straining]

[both yelp]

[alert beeps]

[metal clanking]

-Give me the pot. -The sugar is mine.

Wait, you guys! Whoa! [spits]

[both panting]

[suspenseful music playing]

Quit shaking, Clyde. You're messing up my batter.

[Clyde] Stop jumping up and down.

I have a souffle in the oven.

[screams]

Not today, cruel world!

Move it or lose it, Seymour!

[Nana Gayle] That's my burner!

[Clyde] You snooze you lose. Ow! That's hot.

[Nana Gayle] Give me back my whisk!

[Clyde] Not 'til you give me back my measuring cup.

-Add one cup lard. -And now for the lard.

[both gasp] The last of the lard!

-I saw it first! -It's mine!

[Clyde screams]

[chuckles]

[both grunting and screaming]

-Get off! -No, you!

[both straining]

[both yelp]

[both] Phew!

What happened to us?

Running the food truck together was supposed to be fun.

We sure made a mess of it. Literally.

I'm sorry, Clyde.

Me too.

I don't know why we got so competitive.

There seem to be tons of customers

for both simple and fancy desserts.

[both] Hmm, what if we make both?

Why did we not think of that in the first place?

Because we've got batter for brains.

[both laugh]

Come on, let's get back to work.

-[horn blares] -Huh?

[both gasp]

What in the name of Julia Child?

[Clyde] How did we get on a boat?

-Excuse me. Where are we going? -Ireland, ma'am.

[laughter]

This serves us right for getting so carried away.

Indeed. You know, since we're going to Ireland...

[both] Scones!

-I'll grab the butter. -I'll grab the cranberries.

[Clyde] But first, I should call my dads.

[horn blares]

♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪

-♪ In the Loud House -♪ Loud House ♪

♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show our love ♪

-♪ In the Loud House -♪ Loud House ♪

♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way it always is in the Loud House ♪