07x11 - Leave No Van Behind/Sponsor Tripped

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong ba*ls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪

♪ That's how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

- ♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud, Loud, Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[tires screech]

- [squawk] This is embarrassing.

I don't need a babysitter.

I'm a big bird!

- A big bird who gets into big trouble.

I'm sorry, but we can't take you to Carlos' lecture

today and have you behave like you did at the last one.

[cheers and applause]

- And now, a rare Mesoamerican bowl that dates back to .

It's the only one of its kind left in the world.

- [squawk] A little privacy, please!

- [gasp] Sergio, what are you doing?

Shoo! Gah!

Oh, soap in my eyes!

[bowl shattering]

[all gasping]

- [laughing] What?

It was funny when Dad started crying.

- [groans]

- Uh, I mean, shame on you, Sergio!

- Rosa, Carl, Sergio!

Please, come in.

- Gracias, and thank you for watching Sergio tonight.

- Oh, it's our pleasure.

- Lola!

My favorite Loud.

Is that a new crown?

It really brings out your--

- Cut to the chase, Casagrande.

- Ugh!

My dad's lectures are dullsville,

and I can't sit through another if Sergio isn't

going to be there to wreck it!

- Hmm, sounds like a you problem...

that I may be able to help with.

[chuckle]

- OK, Sergio, you better be on your best

behavior with the Louds.

If you pull any of your usual stunts,

I'm sending you to bird boot camp.

- [whimpers]

- Thanks again.

We'll pick him up tomorrow morning.

[engine revving]

[tires screeching]

[both gasp]

- Ha, nice try, Lola.

Carl would never call the van seats "tacky."

He doesn't even know what that means.

- Carl, it didn't work!

- [groans] Worth a shot.

- Sorry.

No refunds or exchanges.

- [grumbling]

- Hey, Sergio.

The other pets are waiting for you out by Charles' doghouse.

- [squawk] Sergio has arrived.

So what's the plan?

What are we doing for fun today?

Ugh, Old Maid?

[squawk] You call that fun?

Ugh, no, thank you.

[touch-tones beeping]

Oye, Sancho, you up?

- [squawking]

- Grab the Great Lake City g*ng and get

your beaks to Royal Woods, party in Tall Timbers Park!

- [squawking]

- Sure, I'll get pizzas, but don't pull that "forgot

your wallet" bit again.

See ya on the flip side.

I got a party to get to!

[all squeaking]

- Oh, you want to come.

Oh, me and my big beak, oh.

[all whimpering]

I mean, of course, you can come.

The party's at the, uh, big fountain downtown.

[all squeaking]

- Great, you guys go get ready, and I'll see ya--

never.

[giggling]

[upbeat music]

- [squeaking]

- [meows]

- [squeaks]

[all cooing]

- Coo, coo!

- Sancho in the house!

Just in time for pizza.

[all gobbling]

- [squawk] Let's get this party started!

You've done it again, Sergio.

[squawks] Host with the most.

[wind howling]

[somber piano]

[all sighing]

- [cooing] - [squeaks]

[muffled dance music]

♪ ♪

- [chirping]

- [squeals]

[muffled dance music]

[all cooing]

- Aw, yeah!

This sick beak is spinning some sick beats.

[phone ringing]

Yikes, that's my alarm.

I got to get back to the lounge before they

notice I'm missing.

[record scratches]

Ahem, party pigeons, I'm afraid another bird

bash is coming to an end.

Thanks for saving me from Dullsville.

See you back in the city.

[all sigh]

- Looks like the Louds all went to bed.

I'll have to sneak in through a window.

[grunting] Oh!

[groaning]

[all snoring]

- Psst. Open up and let me in!

[all yawning]

- [gasp] Is this about the party not being

at the big fountain downtown?

It was a joke.

Can't you take a joke?

[all blowing raspberry]

Fine.

Don't need you guys anyway.

I'll find my own way in.

You'll see.

Sergio is unstoppable.

[squawk]

Ugh! [moaning]

Oh!

I'm going to have to use my brain and not my brawn.

[knocking]

Leni, you're dreaming.

I'm Dream Sergio.

Open the window.

- Hmm.

- [gasps]

- [snoring]

- Oh, no!

Bawk, down the chimney like old Saint Nick.

[grunting]

[grunting]

Ow!

Ah!

Told you I was unstoppable!

[coughs]

[groans] I get it.

You're still mad about the party.

Let's talk about it like grown animals.

[groans] Real mature, guys!

[birds cooing]

Ah!

Ack!

What are you all doing here?

- [cooing]

- You promised the pigeons an afterparty?

[all cooing]

[dance music]

- Keep it down.

Don't wake up the Louds.

If Rosa finds out about this, my goose is cooked.

[all cooing]

[loud thud]

[gulps]

Honcho, get everyone down to the basement!

Ah!

[all cooing]

What do you think you're doing-- ahh!

[loud thud]

[groaning]

[spits] You guys get down

to the basement and stifle it!

[all cooing]

[drums playing]

[gasps] Uh-oh!

♪ ♪

[squawks]

Shoo!

Shoo, you annoying creatures!

- Sergio?

What are you and all these pigeons doing in the garage?

- I, uh--

I'm Dream Sergio.

You're just dreaming of all these birds.

- Oh, OK.

That makes sense.

Good night, Dream Sergio.

- Whew.

Now to get those pigeons out of here once and for all.

Still unstoppable--

Augh!

[dance music] What the heck?

[growling]

Sancho!

[squawk] A nightclub?

You've got to be kidding me!

Sancho, get these guys out of here!

- [cooing]

- I don't care if you're getting

a cut of the cover charge.

- [cooing]

- Ack, wait!

Sancho, you can't do this to me!

Whatever he's paying, I'll double it!

[squawks]

[squawks] I'm doomed!

The Louds are going to wake up, see this mess,

and rat me out to Rosa.

I'm going to bird boot camp for sure.

- [squeaking]

- Ah!

[all giggling]

- Just the pets I wanted to see.

Can you help me get rid of these pigeons?

You're kind of my last hope.

I deserve that.

Look, I'm sorry.

I wasn't very nice to you today.

I should have been cool with what you wanted to do.

And I shouldn't have lied about the party.

And I shouldn't have been so insulting.

And I'm sorry for being a big-beaked jerk.

Oh, thank goodness.

Oh, you really made me work for it.

- [squeaking]

- OK, so how are we going to get rid of these featherbrains?

[jazzy music]

♪ ♪

Hmm.

♪ ♪

[all cooing]

- [squawks]

The refreshments have arrived.

Who wants bread crumbs?

Follow me!

[all cooing]

OK, team, it's showtime!

[all cooing]

[all gasp]

Oh, no, a red-tailed hawk!

Pigeons are their favorite snack.

Everybody scatter!

- [squawking]

- [squealing]

- [squawking]

[both grunting]

- [squawking]

[both quacking]

- [whimpering]

- I got a pigeon bone to pick with you, mister.

- Ugh!

[groans]

[coughs]

- Um, we'll call it even.

That was amazing!

I had you guys all wrong.

You're very clever, not to mention hardcore.

Mind if I hang till the fam gets back?

Ooh, a match.

- Oh, Sergio.

The Louds told me you were the perfect houseguest.

- What can I say?

It's easy when you're hanging with friends.

- Well, I'm very proud of you.

Now, come on. It's time to go.

- Aw, five more minutes?

I'm about to win an old maid.

- Rita, why is the basement covered in pigeon poop?

- Hmm. - Gotta go!

[all giggling]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[gentle music]

- [snoring]

- [snoring]

♪ ♪

- Snore, snore.

- Ahh-ahh! Yeah!

Poo-poo!

[giggling]

- Lily, are you tired yet?

- [laughing]

[pots banging]

[screams]

- It's going on : a.m., sweetie.

- [shouting]

- It's OK. It's not your fault.

It's your dad's.

- [snoring]

- Wah! - Ugh.

That is the last time he gives you a chocolate-covered

espresso bean for dessert.

"Uh, I thought it was a raisin."

- Sake's alive.

These hippity-hop shoes really put a spring in my step!

Ahh!

- Good for Mrs. Bernardo.

[yawns] She finally got a speaking role.

- I Miss Bernardo!

Whee!

- All right, this isn't working.

Where are the car keys?

Time for an old trick that always

worked on your siblings.

We'll drive around until you're sleepy.

- Horsey ride!

[laughs] - Oh, there are the keys.

- [snores]

Grant, there's too much paprika!

[snoring]

- [giggling]

- Lily, it's almost : a.m.

Aren't you-- [yawns]

--sleepy?

- [giggling]

- OK, I'll take that as a no.

[yawns]

Oh!

[gasps] Did you see that?

- Yep, bad guy, no good.

- Oh, we got to call the police!

OK, OK, where's my phone?

- [blows]

[phone rings]

- Officer Shirley, what is your emergency?

- I just saw a toddler--

OK, no, wait, my toddler and I just saw a burglar

running out of Jean Juan's.

He was a small man or a medium-sized teen.

We couldn't see the face.

It's dark out, and I'm tired, so my vision

is a little blurry.

- Ma'am, could you slow down?

- But he was definitely stealing food,

the fromage con queso or maybe the churro baguettes.

Oh.

Oh, that sounds so good right now.

Oh. [snoring]

[horn honks]

[gasp] Oh, hang on.

I dropped my phone.

Oh, here it is!

Are you still there?

- What are you and your kid doing out at : a.m.?

- OK, well, my husband gave her an espresso bean,

and now she's wide awake.

Sweetie, do you have to pee?

- No, I just went.

Listen, hon, you're not the first tired mom

to call in a little confused.

Last night, we had a lady mistaking

a possum for a werewolf.

[chuckles] Why don't you go home and get some rest?

- Ugh!

Can you believe her?

I am not just some tired, confused mom.

- Rude!

- You know what, Lily?

I say we do some investigating of our own.

We track down the thief, we get some evidence,

and then we call that officer back and say,

"Who's confused now?"

- Yeah, yeah!

This is exciting.

We show her!

- Not to brag, but Mommy has been listening

to a ton of crime podcasts.

Hmm, this would be a cakewalk if we had a DNA processing kit.

- Look, footprints.

Ah!

- [gasp]

Fresh queso.

Great job, sweetie!

The trail's gone cold.

If only we had a tracking hound to catch the scent!

[snores] - Look!

Paper!

- OK, how are you finding everything?

It's a map.

I bet our guy drew it.

The question is, what are these locations?

- Steal more stuff?

- You're right.

He wasn't just after free appetizers.

He is on a crime spree, and these are the next spots

he's going to hit!

Let's see if we can decipher these symbols.

Hmm, this looks like some kind of hieroglyph

of an ancient bird.

What does it mean?

If only I'd paid attention during Egyptian history!

- Chicken parm!

- [laughs] Now I see it.

[tires screech]

OK, this is the nearest farm.

Keep your eyes peeled.

[jazzy music]

[gasp] There he is!

What's he up to?

[gasp] He's stealing a horse!

- Wow, fast horsey.

- Come on, let's tail him.

[engine turning over]

[tires squealing]

- I take picture!

No good! Get closer!

- Trying!

It's not easy in the dark.

Ahh! Oh, no!

The map!

- Look out!

[both screaming]

- Whoa!

Looks like we need a new ride.

- Horsey ride?

- Lily, that does not belong to us.

- But he get away!

- Fine.

OK, but let's leave a note.

- Yay!

[giggles]

- Good boy-- or girl.

Follow the tracks!

Dairyland?

- Mommy, look!

Him inside.

- This crime spree is never-ending.

- Come on!

Let's get him.

- Stay close, Lily.

He could be anywhere.

[both gasp]

- Look!

That police lady is going to owe us a big, fat apology

when she sees our pictures.

Well, that should be enough evidence.

- Hello? [both gasp]

Rita? Rita, where are you?

Is Lily asleep?

- Oh, no.

Shh!

Turn off!

- Hon, I think you're on mute.

I can't hear you.

Can you hear me?

both: Whew. - Hey!

both: Ahh!

- [panting]

Oh, good idea!

[jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Time for some coffee to go!

- [gasp] Oh!

- Ahh!

- [giggling]

- Ahh!

♪ ♪

- Aha!

- Come on! This way!

- Ahh!

- [snoring]

♪ ♪

[snorts]

- Ugh!

♪ ♪

I'm going to find you!

- Ah!

- Why did they have to use Limburger cheese?

Come on, an exit's close.

[panting]

- Look!

- Oh, looks like we made it, sweetie.

both: Ah!

- Ugh!

- Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Well, well, what have we here?

A couple of amateur detectives?

- Look, this was a big mistake.

We promise not to tell.

Please, just let us go.

- Sorry, but you've seen too much.

And now you must pay!

- Stay away from my child!

- Oof!

- Are you there, honey?

Hello?

- Ow!

Be careful!

My face is my instrument.

Let's take five.

I need a cold compress.

both: Mrs. Bernardo?

- Well, normally, this is where you clap.

But I'll accept stunned silence.

- You're the thief?

Wait.

What is going on?

Is this a dream?

- Apologies for scaring you.

I'm just training for an audition

to play a thief, a crook, a desperado of the night!

When I saw you were following me, I decided to roll with it,

as they say.

Of course, I wasn't going to harm you.

- You did all of this to prepare for an audition?

We submerged ourselves in cheese!

- Brava to that!

What an excellent improv.

- But what about all the stuff you stole?

- Oh, stinky child.

I'm going to put everything back.

Thespian's honor.

I have done this many times.

- Well, this has been one crazy evening,

but I suppose I'm partly to blame.

I never should have dragged my child along while

trying to play detective.

Lily, sweetie, I owe you an apology.

- [snoring]

- Wow.

Look at that.

I guess chasing you around all night

finally put her to sleep.

[birds chirping]

Can't wait to see your big commercial, Mrs. Bernardo.

Thanks for suggesting we get together.

- But of course!

We're old friends now.

Also, I don't own a television.

[chuckles]

[gasps] Here it is!

Volume up.

Get ready for the performance of a lifetime!

[alarm blaring]

- Murray Security Systems,

home of the loudest alarms in town!

- I don't understand.

Where were you?

- Those were my hands!

Ha, ha, ha!

[both clapping]

- Oh, no, no, no, stop, stop, please.

I'm simply verklempt.

Oh!

Care to accompany me to the Burpin' Burger establishment?

I need to research fast food for an upcoming role--

woman by soda machine.

- Hmm, I could go for burgers, just no cheese.

- Horsey ride?

- OK, Lily, but we've got to take them back eventually.

[horse neighing]

- Hon, how long are these guys staying?

I'm running out of lasagnas!

[laughter]

- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪