Single ties it!
Swing for the fences,
Moog! Let's go!
Come on, Tyler!
You got this!
Play's to first,
second, or third!
Let's go, Moog!
Look alive, Jarhead!
It's Moog!
He's gonna whiff anyway!
Let's go, Moog!
Strike one!
Let's go, Moog!
Let's go, Moog!
Ice cream! Ice cream!
Let's get some.
Yeah, let's go!
Big swing, Moog. Just pretend
it's a cheeseburger, okay?
Or your mom's a*s,
'cause I'm about
to spank this b*tch.
Hey! Knock it off, Hank.
You too, Brett.
Okay, Allen. By the way,
you really nailed
that Glengarry monologue.
One more word,
and I walk him.
Seriously, I follow your IG.
You got chops.
What the hell are you two
even talking about?
Big swing Moog!
A set of steak knives.
Finish him, Tyler!
And strike two!
Stop swinging
at the garbage, Moog!
Ready?
Mm.
Jarhead!
f*ck!
Safe!
Safe! Safe!
Safe!
Moog! Moog!
Moog! Moog! Moog! Moog!
What are you doing?
I think my arm's broken.
Let me see.
Ow! What the f*ck?
Now, it's broken.
You!
Okay, boys!
Ice cream on me! Let's go!
Hey. Hey.
Uh, were you serious
about the Glengarry monologue?
No. Actually, you're great,
better than Alec Baldwin.
Awesome.
- Good game, son.
- We f*ck' sucked, Dad.
- Language, Hank!
- Whatever.
You think it's kind of weird
is getting
all the kids ice cream?
Smart business strategy.
Sucks you didn't catch
that fly out there, Jared.
Hey, at least
there's no more games
for you to f*ck up this season.
Hank! What the hell you doin'?
Nothing. He dropped it.
Apologize.
Way to battle.
Thanks. Ow!
You're f*ck' dead.
Hey!
What are you doin'?
But Dad,
he's a f*ck' dork.
He'll get over it.
By punching you in the face?
Daddy, look what Dawn made me.
Oh, my.
Look how beautiful that is.
Here you go, honey.
Here you go, sweetie.
What's up with these names?
"Locust Lick. Serpent Swirl."
I mean,
what's a "Froggy's Swamp Pop?"
They sound gross.
They don't look gross.
Mm. Let me try.
Excuse me.
That's not yours. Apologize.
I'm so sorry
that your son's
a f*cking p*ssy!
Forget him, Benji-by.
He'll get what's coming to him.
Bullies always do.
Oh! Why, thank you!
Aren't you sweet?
To Jarhead,
the greatest player
to have on the other team.
You earned it, bud.
I don't know what to say.
f*ck it. I accept
my ice cream with pride!
What are you doing?
Enjoying my trophy?
Do you wanna barf
all night? Come on.
Hey, Lizzie.
Wanna hang out with us later?
I'm free too, Lizzie.
Uh, there's room on my bike.
Hank, she's out
of your league. Come on.
- Bye, Lizzie!
- Bye, Lizzie!
Bye, Lizzie!
What were you thinking?
I was just seeing
if I'm still lactose intolerant.
You know, I think Mom
and Dad made it up.
Yeah, right. I have to live
with your lactose farts.
Fair. How is it?
It's good. How was the game?
About as good as my farts.
Big plans for the summer?
Right now,
just the beach.
Maybe guarding again.
My parents, they want me
to intern at their law firm.
I don't wanna spend
my summer indoors.
Sounds like your parents.
Want this on their account?
Uh, no. My mom gave me cash.
Well, please be sure to say hi--
g*dd*mn it!
There's no more g*dd*mn bell!
Hasn't been a g*dd*mn bell
for three years!
Only put the damn thing up there
'cause I thought
it would be fun!
You hit the bell,
you get a gumball!
But you little punks
take shots at it
like it's g*dd*mn Anzio beach,
and I'm breaking my back
picking up pennies all day!
Well, guess what?
There's no more bell!
Now, get the hell out of here!
How about you, Jared?
Any big plans?
Uh, yeah--
J Money's workin' for me.
Kid's gonna make a killin',
buy a Ferrari!
Why would I mow lawns for you
instead of going to camp?
You're gonna need that cash
in high school.
Chicks are expensive.
Trust me. I know.
What are you talking about?
I practically went bankrupt
dating your sorry a*s.
Ah. That was before
I was an entrepreneur.
You mean
before you bought a lawnmower.
Correct. Speaking of, Roger,
I need some motor oil
for the Green Machine.
And by green, I mean
because it spits out cash.
Sure thing.
Thanks, Roger.
Say hi to your folks for me.
Sure. I'll say hi to them.
Roger.
Brrr. Uh, dude, dude.
What's with your sister?
She used to laugh
at all my jokes.
Well,
if you want to get her back,
don't try to be cool.
Just try to be a human.
Kid's not wrong.
Dude,
you put the bell back?
Ring ding ding
Ringa ding dong...
Like,
why would you ever set up a bell
for kids to throw pennies at?
I made 57 cents today,
and it only cost me
three pieces of gum.
He's a psycho.
He probably has dead bodies
in his basement.
- Tie your shoe.
- I did.
It's these laces.
They're so annoying.
Hey. Did you get it?
Get what?
I'll meet you at the car.
Are you getting weed?
Oh, my God. Go.
- I want some.
- Go!
Bye, Jared!
...It's the ice cream song
Ringa ding ding
Ring ding dong
Ringa ding dong
It's the ice cream song...
- Hey.
- Hi.
Do you have
any fireworks left?
Uh, yeah, maybe
a couple JJs and--
Cool. Bring them.
I wanna film--
Ringa ding ding
Ringa ding dong
Ring ding dong
It's the ice cream song
Ringa ding ding
Ring ding dong
Ringa ding dong
It's the ice cream song...
...Ringa ding ding
Ring ding dong
Ringa ding dong
It's the ice cream song...
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hi, Mrs. Henderson.
Hi, Jared. Um,
Elliot's not feeling well.
Oh. We were just texting.
Came on pretty suddenly.
It's probably just heatstroke
from the game.
But he's upstairs lying down.
Well, tell him to text me later
if he's better
and wants to hang out.
I will. Oh, uh, tell
your mom Saturday's perfect.
Okay. Thanks, Mrs. Henderson.
No problem.
Come on, Sebastian.
Where's your butt buddy,
Smelliot?
He's coming out soon,
with his bat.
Bullshit.
Can you
just give me back my bike?
Your bike? I think
this is maybe my bike now.
Really? Because if you steal it,
my dad will sue you.
What a p*ssy response.
Why don't you come fight me
for it?
Because it's already mine.
Jared, is everything okay?
Yeah.
We were just joking around.
Oh, yeah.
Sebastian here is always joking.
Okay.
I can take this anytime I want.
Well, this is gonna be
a great summer.
What do you do? Isn't it boring
at the beach day after day?
No, I mean, like, we just tan,
hang out with friends.
Like, it's fun.
Skye brings a speaker, so.
Like, she brought
Tony Robbins to the beach?
Who?
Like a speaker.
Hello?
Like, someone to speak.
That's exactly what she means.
What about James Carville?
Who's that?
- Literally what I was thinking.
- No. He was a speaker.
She brought Mitt Romney
to the beach?
What?
Sounds amazing. No, it's so fun.
What I wanna know is,
what's gonna get you
into an Ivy League school,
lifeguarding or interning
at a good law firm?
My 4.0? Summer's for f*cking off
with your friends.
You don't have any friends.
I think what your father
is trying to say
is that your summer needs
some structure,
some sort of plan.
I have a plan.
I go out. I sleep in.
I tan. Repeat.
Wow. Look at her.
She's a lawyer already.
I mean, who needs law school?
Case closed.
Just because Grandpa was
and you guys are,
it doesn't mean
that I have to be one.
Someone has to break
the family curse.
You know, if Grandpa was alive,
he could actually argue
your case for you.
Actually, if Grandpa was alive,
he'd put her in prison
for disobeying her parents.
That's right.
Maybe I'm tired
of using my brain.
I wanna monetize my hotness
while I'm young.
Start an OnlyFans.
How do you even know
what that is?
That is so gross.
Even as a joke.
...and baked a souffl
Rissely Rosselty...
What is
that Boomer ringtone?
Oh, stop it.
You kids used to love this song.
I heard it this morning,
and it reminded me
of when you were sweet
and doted on your mother.
When I was, like, six.
That is just cringe.
Well, it's a mother's job
to make her kids cringe.
Mission accomplished.
Did you guys see
that weird ice cream man today?
What do you mean, weird?
I don't know. He just,
like, kept popping up,
like he was following me
or something.
Like, to kidnap you?
I feel sorry
for whoever kidnaps Jared.
Elizabeth, please.
I take it back.
You'd make
an excellent kidnap victim.
That's not good either,
but at least it's positive.
Wait. How was he strange?
It was just the song
he was playing, I guess.
I don't know. It was weird.
Well, I didn't see him
at the club, so.
Mom, do you need
the car tomorrow?
Actually, I don't. Why?
Everybody's going
to White Mountain Park.
What about school?
Oh, it's skip day.
Skip day?
Some people call it that,
but it's more like a field trip.
Everyone calls it that.
I heard Jesse's brother skipping
with all his friends.
He wouldn't shut up about it.
I figured that you might just go
and tell them after--
Jared, shut up.
Yeah. That would be
ridiculous, right?
Right?
Shut up. It's a tradition
that the juniors do
the last week of school
with the outgoing seniors.
Oh, it's a tradition.
It's so funny,
'cause we did not have
that tradition
when we went there.
Because
we actually went to class.
Right. Right. Right.
Yeah. Right. Right.
So, wait. You're telling me
that half the school
is cutting tomorrow?
Approximately.
Oh.
Then you'll get twice
the attention.
I'm going.
To school.
To the waterpark.
Like hell you are.
Finals are over,
and school's done on Wednesday.
What's the big deal?
Go Thursday.
Well, then it's not ditching.
Come on.
It is literally so stupid.
Like, that's the point.
You're supposed
to break the rules.
The point of rules
is actually to not break them.
That's why they're rules.
Says
the criminal defense lawyer.
I defend the wrongly accused.
They haven't committed
any crimes.
Sure they haven't.
Look, honey.
You can have the car.
But like it or not,
you can't go.
Why not?
Because we're going into Boston,
and we'll likely stay overnight.
Someone needs to be here
for Jared.
- No. I'm fine.
- I actually can't believe this.
Jared can stay at Elliot's
if anything happens,
which it... it won't.
Yes.
Look. As much
as we trust you both, okay,
we can't leave a child alone,
because accidents happen,
and we need an adult nearby,
which in this case happens
to be you, honey, okay?
Either way,
you're skippin' skip day.
You better find someone
to stay with,
- or I'm taking you with me.
- Oh, no.
Please don't take me
to a waterpark
filled with girls in bikinis.
Shut up, Jared.
That's no place
- for a mischievous preteen!
- You're so annoying.
- Yeah! Don't take me either!
- Yeah!
Take you where?
Uh, take you to school tomorrow.
I would love
to see you go to school
talking about Mint Romney
or whoever.
Mint Romney!
Mint. Mint Romney? That's--
Do we have any Mint Romney
ice cream for dessert?
Do we?
Piper?
Honey, what's wrong?
Did you have more ice cream?
Fran, you spilled something.
Fran?
Oh, my God!
Oh, God!
Brett!
Oh, baby, what's wrong?
My necklace, I dropped it.
Oh. We'll get it tomorrow.
Let's go back to bed.
But I can't sleep without it.
Please, Daddy?
Okay.
Well, okay.
Honey... are you sure?
I can't feel it.
What the f*ck? Is this gasoline?
Cheryl! The kids have gone
f*cking crazy!
Cheryl!
Steve?
God!
Honey?
I have a g*n! I will use it!
Elliot! Elliot, baby, what are--
What did you do to daddy?
Jesus f*cking Christ!
Elliot,
what have you done to Steve?
Elliot, put that down!
Elliot!
Elliot!
That's it! Come to mommy!
You come to mommy
right n--
No! What are you doing?
Put that down! No! No! No!
Elliot! No! No! Baby, no!
No! You come to mommy!
I'll rock you to sleep,
honey. No! No!
Ring ding ding
Ringa ding dong
Ring ding dong
It's the ice cream song
Ringa ding ding
Ring ding dong
Ringa ding dong
It's the ice cream song...
Ringa ding ding
Ring ding dong
Ringa ding dong
It's the ice cream song
Ringa ding ding
Ring ding...
...Let's have fun
Let's have fun
It's the ice cream song
Come on, Claire. Come on.
Good. Good girl.
Oh, my God!
Oh! Are you okay?
What happened?
Someone hurt my mommy.
Oh! Who?
Me.
What's up?
The Farbers left
their door open.
Probably on their way out.
Well, should I go shut it?
Nah. I'm sure they know.
You know what?
I'll text Fran just in case.
What?
Why is there
an ice cream truck parked
at 6:30 in the morning
outside our house?
Who knows?
I heard Lizzie and Skye
getting some last night
after her big meltdown
about skip day.
Dare I say,
he gives me the chills.
Oh, my God.
I thought we were
doing ice cream puns.
Yeah.
Uh, does look
a little weird, though.
Yeah.
- I'm sure he's harmless.
- Mm-hmm.
I'll call security,
have them do a drive-by.
Watch it!
No! No!
Random.
Moog?
Uh, Moog?
Brett?
Guess you're sick.
See you at school.
Maybe.
f*ck' weirdo.
Is everyone ditching
or sick or something?
Are you talking to me?
You feel okay?
Yeah. Random.
Prime real estate today.
Hey, Elliot!
Hey, Elliot!
Elliot?
Oh, sh*t.
Oh, my God. Marcella.
So, I edited the video,
and I thought
that we could do a little...
Okay.
Is this some sort of zombie
pajama day challenge?
Morning, Mr. Mayfair.
Any sign of your friend
Mr. Henderson?
Uh, yeah, I just saw him.
He was sick, so, like,
maybe he went to the nurse's?
Yes, the terrible illness
we call summer.
Strikes about the end
of every school year.
Do you want me to go check?
Yes, but do come back,
because there's still three days
of school left,
which means
three more days to learn!
Let's get back
to some factor trees, shall we?
Jill? You want to break down 72
into prime numbers?
Guess not.
Are you okay?
Stop asking me that.
What does it look like?
Sorry. It's just...
Is it just me
or is something weird going on?
Y'all shouldn't be
cutting class.
That's my job.
He seems normal.
Yeah, for Tommy.
Elliot?
You guys see Elliot?
Guys?
Okay. Uh, is Elliot in there?
Um.
What the f*ck!
Oh, no.
Hey, we got a test or something?
Mr. B, you can't do us like that
last week of school.
Well, at least now I know
it's not a joke.
What joke?
Ask your friends.
Someone told them
it's Silent Day,
or some new holiday
they invented.
'Sup?
Greg's sick.
He ain't sayin' sh*t.
Language, Mr. Greene.
Language?
I'm the only one using it.
You don't think this is weird?
I think everyone's already
on summer vacation.
But now that you're here,
take out a microscope.
What... what do you mean,
she hasn't shown up?
Mr. Hamlin.
Well, can you go
by the house?
Mr. Hamlin?
No. I... I No.
You don't understand.
Excuse me.
What are you doing?
Excuse me!
Hello? Class is not dismissed!
I don't know.
What the hell?
Um, uh, excuse me.
Whoa. No. What? No, no.
We all cutting class?
Uh, sorry.
No. Uh, where are you going?
No. Class is not dismissed.
Tommy! You get back here!
Tommy, you get back
All right. Fine. Fine.
I'll deal with Tommy
and the others later.
Now, all of you,
back to your seats!
Sit down!
Marcella? Marcella! Marcella!
Elliot! Elliot,
this isn't funny.
Hank the tank, what's good?
Hey, smells like
some hot fudge sundaes
up in this b*tch. Ready?
Let's go! Whoo! Ice cream break!
Kids, this is not a fire drill!
Back to your classrooms! What--
Bob! What the hell is going on?
It's gotta be a joke.
They gotta be filming this.
We know you're filming this!
Yeah!
Hey, Elliot.
Come on.
Elliot, please,
don't eat it. Just come on!
Jared!
It's the smell...
Cover your nose.
Step aside, fools.
Respect the king.
'Sup? What'd you get?
It's like that, huh?
Let me just take yours--
What? Okay. Fine, man.
Just keep it.
No! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Children, look away!
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Someone get a nurse.
Someone run and get the nurse!
Uh.
Piper!
Stop laughing!
Children! This isn't funny!
No, no, no. sh*t.
This is not funny!
Mia!
Hey! What is going on here?
Break it up!
Come on! Enough of that!
What-- I said break it up.
Oh, my God. Uh...
Young man? Oh, my God.
911. What's your emergency?
- It's Bob Maloney at Meadowbrook.
- Yes?
Get over here now! I...
I'm not sure if the kid jumped
or if there was an accident,
but... but it looks like--
- Bob, calm down.
- I'm not...
Yes. Yes. She's not moving,
and there's a brick and I--
What... what the f*ck?
sh*t! Our bikes!
Hey! What is going on here?
What is going on here?
Jared, Mia, come on!
Get the f*ck inside!
Oh, Christ!
Ow! Ow!
Ow! No!
Now, we're gonna look
at the common housefly.
But I can assure you
there's nothing common about it.
If you look closer,
oh, you're gonna see
the single-cell organism.
Now, that is something
Whoa!
Oh, God!
No, no, no. Come this way.
No. Come on!
Let's go to our class!
What are you doing?
This room is always empty!
Oh, my God!
What are you doing? Stop!
Put me down! Let me go! Let go!
I think there's no one in here.
What are you doing? Stop!
Oh, my God!
They're gonna k*ll Mia
if they get in.
Yeah, I know. I know. Just...
No!
Oh, God.
Okay. Come here.
Right.
Let's get out of here.
Go! Go!
Hey, Marcella! Come get me!
Mia, it's me.
Where's Tommy?
At the back exit.
Help me! Help me! Help me!
What the f*ck?
Go back! Go back!
Go! Go! Come on! sh*t!
- Guys? Guys! Come on!
- Tommy!
Come on, come on.
Get in. Get in.
Close the door.
Close the door!
What the hell is happening?
- Something evil.
- Someone evil.
The Ice Cream Man.
It's the cops.
Hey, kids.
Back it up for me, all right?
Step back. Hey, kids?
Kids, back up. All right?
I need you to back up
for me, all right?
Back up. Come on. Back up.
What have you done?
What have you done?
What in God's name
have you done?
Ringa ding ding
Ringa ding dong
Ringa ding dong
It's the ice cream song
Ringa ding ding
Ringa ding dong...
Why are you singing?
Stop singing!
This isn't funny!
Oh, sh*t.
They're gluing his face.
f*ck.
We need a phone.
Wait. I have mine.
What? It's top of the line.
Look, it's basically
the same thing as an iPhone.
You know,
more people use Androids
Just call someone!
We weren't judging.
Yeah. Speak for yourself.
I definitely was.
You've reached the office...
Oh, sh*t. It's voicemail.
I'll try my mom.
Okay.
Um, sorry.
How do I use this thing?
- Oh, sh*t! Fireman's here.
- Salinger?
Help us! Please help us.
Where's Officer Salinger? Whoa.
Oh, sh*t.
Back away from the edge, kids.
Back up.
Back away from the edge.
Help us!
Stay back.
La, la, la...
Just hang tight.
...La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la...
I'm coming. Stay back.
...La, la, la...
Whoa. Hey, hey, hey!
Bye-bye.
No. Wait. Oh!
f*ck!
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la...
Hey! Hey!
...La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la...
He's coming.
They're following him.
We have to run.
Where?
I don't know,
but we're sitting ducks here.
Oh, my God. Go.
No. No!
They're not trying to k*ll us.
They're trying to turn us.
Oh, my God. This is...
this is actually happening.
What's that?
What the f*ck?
Holy...
That ice cream's demonic.
Either of you eat it?
What? No.
I'm lactose intolerant.
More information
than you needed.
Wait. Sorry. Um,
what do you mean, "demonic"?
Turns you evil.
Did you eat it?
I threw it up. I'm fine.
How do we know
we can trust you?
I saw her puke, okay?
She's fine.
Wait. Were you spying on me?
What? No, no.
Of... of course not.
Kinda, but like not
in a creepy way.
I just randomly saw you.
Jared, it's okay.
I... I threw it up. I'm fine.
I would have turned by now.
Whatever.
I'm keeping my eye on you.
Okay. You know what?
Why don't you keep an eye
on finding us a way
out of here? Yeah.
Wait. Lizzie.
Yes.
Mom!
Mom?
Help!
Can somebody help me?
What the f*ck?
Uh. Hey, Siri?
Call Mom and Dad.
Calling Mom and Dad, work.
You've reached the office
of Martin Mayfair.
Leave a message
and I'll return your call.
Hey, Siri? Call f*ck.
Calling f*ck.
Put that sh*t on silent.
Shut up. It's Lizzie.
Lizzie?
Lizzie, oh my f*cking God.
The kids, they're k*lling
the teachers.
You have to get over here.
I can't move
my f*cking arms.
Call an ambulance.
Wait. What?
Can you call Mom and Dad?
Or get a doctor!
I tried them already.
It's voicemail.
Wait. Did you have ice cream?
What? Last night,
Skye and I had some.
Jared, this is
a f*cking emergency!
It's poison. It's f*cking evil.
You have to throw it up.
Jared, I said I can't move
my f*cking arms.
I'm paralyzed.
It probably paralyzes teens
or knocks you out.
You have to throw it up.
Tell her to use a toothbrush.
Use a toothbrush.
I... I heard her.
Jared, you have
to get out of there.
I know. We're basically praying
they don't find us right now.
What about the church?
Why?
No demon's gonna hide out there.
Grace Church.
Nobody ever goes
to the basement.
If you try to get there,
I can get you.
Grace Church.
Okay.
sh*t.
sh*t.
Okay. Go. Just go. Go, go, go!
Ugh.
Don't be a f*cking p*ssy.
Just do it.
You got this. Okay.
f*ck!
Hey!
Hey. Get away from there.
What the f*ck? f*ck.
Tell them to shut up!
sh*t.
Mrs. Poole?
Hello?
Mrs. Poole?
Penelope, what are you doing?
Where's your mom?
Penelope, we have
to get out of here. Come on.
Penelope?
Oh, my God. Oh.
Skye? Skye?
Skye? Skye, wake up.
Skye?
I knew you'd come around.
New phone. Who dis?
Chris,
stop f*cking around.
Help me.
Kids are going f*cking crazy.
They're attacking.
What are you talking about?
Oh, sh*t!
sh*t.
Oh, my gosh.
They're coming over.
They'll f*cking get in.
They're coming over here.
Yeah. Use that. Use that.
Yeah. Why is it
so f*cking heavy?
Just sh**t it.
Do you need help?
I'm trying!
- Take the pin off.
- Take the pin out!
What are you doing?
Take the pin out!
Do you want me to do it
or something?
Okay.
Pull the pin!
Did no one teach you
how to use a fire extinguisher?
Oh my God! You did it!
Go, go, go.
Way to battle.
Go, go, go.
Oh my God. Get in, get in.
sh*t! It's locked.
Open the door.
What are you doing?
I'm trying.
The door is locked.
Jesse!
Oh.
They're gonna break
the glass.
Oh, sh*t.
Oh, my God.
What's... what's that?
What the f*ck is that?
Oh, sh*t.
The door! The door!
Tie it off!
We're trapped.
Go, go, go.
Tag. You're it.
No! No, sweetie.
We do not bully. We do not--
Okay. Right there, on
the other side of that fence,
that's the path to Grace Church.
We'll never make it.
We can, we can,
just as long as we make it
to that cop car.
Oh, sh**t. Jared, come on!
I'm trying, it's these
stupid shoelaces
I tried doubleknotting them.
I tried tripleknotting.
Dude, forget it! Just come on.
What are you doing?
You're it. No takebacks.
Oh, my--
What the f*ck is this?
Hurry up.
Come on!
You're going to get k*lled.
Ha! Ha! Take that.
You like that? Huh?
Guys, guys? I'm a genius.
This hand's like magic.
No! No!
It's not what it looks like!
Come on. Go, go, go.
Sorry.
Holy f*ck!
Keep going. Keep going.
Okay, okay, okay.
We have to make a break for it.
Just wait for them to clear out.
Wait. There's too many of them.
But it's the fastest way.
I don't know.
I think it's suicide.
We gotta find another way
past them.
We have to get to the church.
Mia! Oh, my God.
Sebastian? Are you okay?
I'm good.
Mia, you okay?
Ugh.
Thanks.
Yeah. No problem.
How'd you know how to do that?
I'm a 12 year old girl.
Of course I know
how to make myself vomit.
That's f*cking dark. I like you.
We got to go to the church.
You ready?
Go, go, go.
Go.
Oh, my God! What the hell?
Go, go.
Hold on. Hold on.
I'm f*cking stuck!
What?
Sebastian, come on!
Don't let them change me!
Oh, my God.
Sebastian!
Run, run!
So long, suckers.
Oh, my God.
Right over there.
Okay.
Guys?
What?
Why does a church need
a walk-in freezer?
Maybe this is
where they keep the bodies.
What bodies?
For funerals.
The ice cream. It's in there.
Not in his truck?
Maybe he's got bigger plans.
It's him.
f*ck it.
Oh, sh*t.
It's all here.
I told you.
Let's melt his supply.
Look for a plug or a switch.
Oh, my God.
Yeah. Literally.
I see a power switch
right by him.
Help... yourselves. Run.
He's telling us to run.
We can't.
The Ice Cream Man
is right there.
Door.
sh*t. No!
Oh, my God. It's stuck!
We're going to die in here.
At least we're going to heaven.
Tommy, that's not even
slightly funny.
It wasn't a joke.
I can't get a signal,
but Lizzie said
she's coming here, so...
Good thing we're in
a walk-in freezer.
That's where everyone
going to church
looks first, Jared.
Need a lift?
Chris, get me down from here.
Oh, so now you want
to be seen with me?
Haha. Very funny.
Now, get me the f*ck down.
Only if you promise
to not be a d*ck.
Really?
We're going to do this now?
No better time.
Fine, fine.
Chris, I... I promise
I won't be a d*ck.
And if you get me
the f*ck out of this
I might even consider
going to dinner with you,
assuming that there's
any restaurants left.
But first, can you just
get me the f*ck down?
Dinner and a movie.
Dinner.
Okay, fine. Both.
Just get me down.
Your terms are accepted.
Come on! Jump.
Nice wheels.
I guess you really are
an entrepreneur.
I told you so.
I can even buy
a movie ticket now.
Where we going?
The church.
Jared's hiding out there.
Okay. Let's go.
This is my fault. All of it.
How's this on you?
I know who the Ice Cream Man is.
In a way, I created him.
What?
Why would you create that?
I mean, I'm part of something
that caused all of this.
Who is the Ice Cream Man?
His name was Jonathan Smiley.
He drove a truck.
No one knew his real name
or his past,
but he spoke
with a foreign accent,
so we figured he came
from someplace wartorn.
All he wanted was
to make kids happy
with his ice cream.
Children are very trusting
of adults,
especially adults
in positions of authority,
in uniform,
teachers, religious figures.
And there are those adults
that would take advantage
of that trust.
What did the Ice Cream Man do?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
But he was blamed
for the crimes of another.
Horrible, unspeakable crimes.
I was a young priest.
I tried to speak out,
but I was silenced
by those more powerful.
The scandal was too great.
Rumors spread, small town.
Something had to be done.
It was decided to put the blame
on someone disposable.
The Ice Cream Man.
One lawyer went after him.
He made all the kids
lie in court.
All the children testified
against the Ice Cream Man.
The adults fed them lies,
and they regurgitated
those lies on the stand.
What was the lawyer's name?
There is a special place in hell
for men like Milton...
...Mayfair.
That's my grandpa.
It's okay.
Wait. You still haven't told us
how he's able to do this.
When he was in jail,
someone came to visit him.
He said he was a lawyer,
but every word
out of his mouth was a lie
- except for one promise.
- By my hand...
That he would help
the Ice Cream Man
get his revenge on the town.
He was a necromancer,
someone who raises
the dead for a price.
For the Ice Cream Man's soul
in exchange for his revenge.
The necromancer promised
that he would bring him back
with special powers
once the kids
had grown into adults.
When the town had long forgotten
what they'd done,
the Ice Cream Man
would remind them.
The next day, they found him
dead in his cell.
They decided to bury him
in an unmarked grave
by the sap of the river.
To resurrect him,
the necromancer took his place.
He's lying there now.
How do we stop
the Ice Cream Man,
if we ever get out of here?
k*ll the necromancer,
the Ice Cream Man dies with him.
So, all we have to do
is k*ll the necromancer?
But he's not alone.
He lies with a siren,
who will alert him
if anyone attacks.
So, then, all we have to do
is k*ll the siren,
and then k*ll the necromancer.
You can't just k*ll him.
You have to cut his head off.
Okay. So, we k*ll the siren,
then we cut his head off.
Yes.
Okay.
But you must not look at him.
The necromancer
can still seduce,
even decapitated.
Hang on.
We k*lled the siren,
and then decapitated
the necromancer,
but we can't even
look at him?
Wait. This is a lot.
How would we k*ll him
if we can't
You k*ll the siren. You cut
the necromancer's head off.
He'll be wearing
a ceremonial cloak.
Do not remove the hood.
Find the Ice Cream Man.
Remove the hood.
Make the Ice Cream Man look
into the necromancer's eyes.
That will k*ll him.
Wait. What about the kids?
Do they just die?
The cursed children
will sleep
and when they awake,
they'll remember none of this.
Hide. I'll distract
the Ice Cream Man.
When he comes for me,
you lock the door.
Saving you three is my
only chance at salvation.
Now, hide!
Ecce Crucem Domini.
Fugite partes adversae.
Vicit Leo... Radix Juda.
Alleluia.
Alleluia, alleluia!
Alleluia!
f*ck. Go!
This way. Come on.
Where is everyone?
- Hello?
- Hello?
Anyone here?
Holy...
Jared?
Lizzie!
Jared.
Oh, my God.
Told you she'd come back
to me.
Really, Chris?
Oh, sh*t.
Looks like Roger
got his bell rung.
He had this bell.
Chris!
Did you get Mom and Dad?
Voice mail.
There's no answer
at their offices.
Well, how about
we get the f*ck out of here
and call them on the way?
We're going to the cemetery.
f*ck' A, right?
We're all gonna be in
the cemetery if we don't
get the f*ck out of here.
No. We know how to stop him.
Let's just
Wait. Wait. Where's Tommy?
Tommy? Tommy!
Tommy?
Would you help
with this sh*t?
What the f*ck?
Are you going gold prospecting
in the Old West or something?
You want to dig up a grave
with your bare hands,
be my guest.
Guess we're going to
dig up a grave.
Where is everyone?
Adults are hiding or dead.
Teens who ate it
are in some kind of coma.
Kids are missing.
Did the priest know why the
Ice Cream Man is doing this?
Yeah. It has to do with
Grandpa Milton.
He made all the kids
lie in court to put him away.
I guess this is his revenge.
Mom and Dad,
they testified, too.
Yeah.
I told you being a lawyer
was a f*cking family curse.
Chris, it looks like
she needs help.
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
I k*lled him! I k*lled him!
Do you want a ride?
Chris, go!
I k*lled him!
Chris, go!
Sorry, lady.
How are we supposed to
find it?
It's an unmarked grave.
There's thousands of them.
Wait.
What did he say about
"by the sap of the river"?
Well, there's a river maple.
Those things have
a ton of sap.
f*cking pain in the a*s
to prune.
They can ruin a chainsaw.
What?
I take back what I said about
you being a total ret*rd.
When did you ever say that?
Well, I've said it, like,
a zillion times.
Just never to your face.
I think her exact words
were "a touch of the 'tism."
Guys, could we please focus
on finding this river maple?
Oh! I see one.
There.
Chris?
Backing up.
Bad idea!
They're surrounding us!
Ya don't say...
They're getting closer!
They're getting closer!
Oh, my gosh...
Chris!
Hit it!
f*ck it!
f*ck! f*ck! f*ck!
f*ck! f*ck!
Holy sh*t!
Stop the f*cking car!
Okay! Okay!
Find the grave!
I'll distract him!
Chris, I wanted to
Go! Help them!
Remember,
river Maple, leaking sap.
You're brilliant.
Be safe.
f*ck yeah.
What are you doing?
I see it!
This one?
Pretty sure.
Not a good time to be wrong.
There's no grass.
This has got to be it.
What the f*ck?
Are you f*cking kidding me?
What the f*ck!
Get off my f*cking truck!
Oh my God!
You're f*cking disgusting!
f*ck!
Ugh!
Come on!
I just got it detailed!
f*cking kids!
Holy sh*t...
All right...
Okay. I'll do it.
No.
My family started this.
We're going to end it.
Hey, guys.
I need your help.
- On the count of three.
- Okay...
One...
Two...
Jared, wait!
Don't do it. It's a trap.
Elliott?
What happened?
It wore off. Not all of his
ice cream works.
He set a trap for you.
Don't listen.
That's not Elliott!
Come on, of course it's me.
Everything that comes out
of the Necromancer's mouth
is a lie. Don't trust him.
Jared, that's dangerous.
Lizzie, make him listen.
If we run...
where are we going?
We're getting out of here.
I know. But how?
Just trust me.
You gotta come with me.
Before he gets back.
I will,
if you tell me one thing.
Anything.
Come on.
What did you
call me yesterday
when I caught that
fly and won the game.
I called you Jarhead.
I blew the game, Elliot.
Just like
you blew it now.
Don't come near him!
I don't have to.
Mia!
Chris!
Chris! Help us!
Dig!
Holy sh*t.
Lizzie, the pickaxe!
Alright kid...
Let's do it.
Chris!
Chris!
Just f*cking k*ll him!
f*ck it!
It's so tasty, Tommy.
You should try some.
Mia...
No.
We were wrong.
It's the adults
we can't trust.
The Ice Cream Man
was right.
He's the only
one protecting us.
He's giving us powers.
Powers to fight them.
He's so peaceful, Tommy.
He loves us.
I left my wife
in the month of May
A risselty rosselty
now now now
She k*lled a squirrel
and baked a souffle
A risselty rosselty...
Jared!
Jared, wait!
Don't look...
I'm going to k*ll him!
Don't do it!
Why?
Tommy!
Don't look at it!
I'm sorry, Tommy.
Every word out
of his mouth was a lie,
except for one promise.
The Ice Cream Man's soul...
in exchange
for his revenge.
Ringadingding
Ringadingdong
Ringadingding
It's the ice cream song
Ringadingding
Ringadingdong
Ringadingding
It's the ice cream song
You scream, I scream
We scream, ice cream
You scream, I scream
We scream, ice cream
You scream, I scream
We scream, ice cream
You scream, I scream
We scream, ice cream
You scream, I scream
We scream, ice cream
You scream, I scream
We scream, Ice Cream Man
Ice Cream Man
Hi, kids.
Would you like
some ice cream?
I'm the Ice Cream Man
You scream, I scream
We scream, ice cream
You scream, I scream
We scream, ice cream
You scream, I scream
We scream, ice cream
You scream, I scream
We scream, ice cream
You scream, I scream
We scream, ice cream
You scream, I scream
We scream, Ice Cream Man
Ice Cream Man
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Ice Cream Man (2026)
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