(dramatic music)
(hands whooshing)
(crowd chanting)
Let the games begin.
(intense music)
Rock!
[Crowd] Rock!
Paper!
[Crowd] Paper!
Scissors!
[Crowd] Scissors!
One, two, three!
Allez!
Everyone's talking about it
Anyone can understand this
Since I was born, but don't know why
But I know the scissors can
Paper, paper, paper,
paper, paper, paper, paper
Scissors
Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock
I wanna play scissors
but I'll go paper
Oh
Yay
(raucous surf music)
(singer shouting)
I wanna play scissors
I'm gonna play paper, paper, paper
(singer laughing)
(singer panting)
Mm, mm.
It's so good.
So good.
(camera shutter clicking)
Dude.
How many pictures of
pancakes are you gonna post?
Bro, these ain't just any pancakes.
(camera shutter clicks)
These are the Giant Pancake Shop's.
Honey Bunny Strawberry Stack.
They never go on sale.
(camera shutter clicking)
I'd be spitting in the face
of pancakes across the nation
if I didn't upload a shot or two.
Come on.
No one wants to look at pictures
of pancakes they can't eat.
What?
(chuckles) Hold on.
5,000 people say otherwise.
Your boy is a pancake closer now.
No f*cking way.
(Carter laughs)
There are 5,000 people
who actually like
watching you eat pancakes?
Oh yeah.
But not just people, girls.
Lots of 'em too.
I mean, when you got
tongue work like that,
it's no wonder that the
ladies are all lining up
trying to take another peek
at Carter doing his thing.
Anyways, check it.
There's this new pancake
and girl's got the pancake
community all riled up.
She takes eating to an art, an erotic art,
if you know what I'm saying? (Chuckles)
Bro, you're ripped as hell.
Why didn't you just post some fitness sh*t
and find another girl online?
You gotta get over Sophia, man.
Remember, she's the one
that walked out on you.
Girls these days,
they move on faster than
"b*ttlefield" gamers, man.
I guarantee you.
She's forgotten about you
and has already moved on
to Mister "Call of Duty."
(cellphone ringtone whistles)
Oh hey, GanGoe's doing
a live stream tonight.
500,000 followers.
Damn, that's a lot of
momentum he's got going.
(cellphone ringtone whistles)
Scratch that. (Chuckles)
I got a date.
You have a girlfriend?
Better.
Date with a follower.
(Carter chuckles)
Look, I just posted a clip of me
with the chocolate special
from Zach's Pancakes and sh*t.
And this honey commented,
"Mm, the best chocolate
pancakes I've ever seen."
So I hit her back with the,
"Well, if you like the chocolate special,"
"I got some special chocolate for you."
(Carter chuckles)
And I got a date in an hour.
(Carter chuckles)
But hey brother, you can have
the rest of the Honey Bunny
- No, nope.
- Strawberry Stack.
(Carter chuckles)
I gotta save room for dessert.
Going to change.
(Carter humming)
B, I know you'll figure something out.
Don't go Judge Ryan, all right?
[Brian] Yeah.
(Carter laughs)
Thanks man.
No problem.
(Carter humming)
(mysterious music)
(person knocking on door)
It's open, Carter.
(person knocking on door)
Did you forget something?
Name's Cavendish.
I'm a detective.
A girl by the name of
Sophia used to live here?
I got some questions I
want to ask you about her.
Sorry, you need to leave.
There's been an incident.
Did something happen to her?
Let's talk inside.
(solemn guitar music)
When was the last time you saw Sophia?
[Brian] A week ago Wednesday.
When was the last
time you heard from her?
I, I haven't heard from her since.
Did something happen to her?
Two days ago,
Sophia Barrett
was found dead.
[Brian] What?
And you're Brian Cooper,
you were her fiance.
No.
Yes.
What? What do you mean Sophia's dead?
Exactly that. She's dead.
And I got some evidence
that says you did it.
No, that's not possible.
That's not f*cking possible!
- She was m*rder*d, Brian.
- No.
You were the last person
to see her alive.
- No, no, no, no.
You're suspect number one.
So here's how this is gonna go.
I'm gonna ask the questions.
You're gonna give the answers.
Does that make sense?
You think I k*lled her?
Why the f*ck would I k*ll her?
It's not possible.
Just, I can't.
How could this happen?
[Cavendish] That's what
I'm here to figure out.
Settle down and tell me
the last time you saw her.
What did you do?
Where did you go and who said what?
I love you, Brian, but I can't.
I can't anymore.
Sophie, we promised.
When I put that ring on your finger,
we promised that we'd stick together
through good times and bad,
but it's been nothing
but bad times recently.
I just wanted a better
life for us, for you.
Not anymore. We're done.
Look, Sophie.
100K is nothing for a girl like you.
[Sophia] What?
If, you know
[Sophia] How could you even
suggest something like that?
What the f*ck?
Sophia, I'm sorry.
Look, I didn't, I didn't mean it.
Okay?
Sophie. Sophie, look at me.
Look, just, just come sit down
with me for a minute, okay?
Just sit down and talk to me
and we'll figure this out.
We always figure this out.
[Sophia] I don't wanna hear it.
Wait, Sophie, please, please.
Wait!
Look, I'm sorry. Okay?
I know I f*cked up.
I'll find the money. I can fix this.
I don't care.
Goodbye.
Sophie, Sophie, please.
g*dd*mn it, Sophie.
It should have been me.
I know how you feel, Brian.
I need you to answer these questions.
It appears as though Sophia
is the victim of a serial m*rder case.
That we have so far,
there seems to be some
sort of a death game
that's being played.
What the hell is this?
The last picture is a screenshot
from Sophia's cellphone.
It says, "If you lose, death awaits",
"but if you still want
to play meet us here."
Have you seen that before?
Why would Sophia ever get
involved in something like this?
Only 'cause the winner
walks away with $1,000,000
plus most of the victims
we've been able to ID
have had connections to the mafia,
and they were blackmailed into playing.
Now the question is, does
this apply to Sophia?
Vincenzo's been threatening me
to come up with 150,000
by the end of the month.
He must have threatened
her to join instead.
What's this guy's full name?
Vincenzo Barreni.
I swear to God, I'll
k*ll that son of a b*tch.
Don't do anything stupid, Brian.
This is the mafia we're talking about.
Plus, you f*ck with my investigation,
I'll take you in for
growing the devil's lettuce.
I can smell it, I know
what you're doing here,
but I'm going to let you off on a warning.
If anything else comes to mind,
I want you to gimme a call.
I'll get outta your hair
and I'll see myself out.
(solemn music)
(cellphone buzzing)
You better be in Paris or something
to call me this f*cking early.
Even better.
(laughs) The date last night, the fan,
we hit up a hotel after dinner.
That is after we swung by 7-Eleven.
Picked up some whipped
cream and chocolate sauce.
The complete Carter's chocolate surprise.
(Carter chuckles)
[Brian] Fascinating.
Man, what's wrong with you?
I'm trying to cheer your a*s up,
regaling you with tales of my sexcapades,
and you really harshing my vibe, fam.
Well, the thing is,
just after you left yesterday,
a detective showed up.
They find your stash?
You in even more trouble?
[Brian] Sophia's dead.
Come on, B.
You gotta finish your damn sentences.
Sophia's dead to you, right?
Right?
B, come on, quit playing.
For real?
For real.
It's gotta be the
f*cking Barberino family.
If they got her, you're
next in line, brother.
Hey, they're not gonna do you quick
like in the back of the
head and no sh*t like that.
Those f*ck will burn you alive.
I heard stories about them.
They cut the ba*ls off people
and threw it into the
c*ck like olives.
I swear to God, I'll k*ll Vincenzo.
(laughs) Yeah, you
and what f*cking army?
Look, this ain't the sort of situation
where you figure sh*t out as you go.
I get it.
I'm the type of guy that
crams up to last minute
and forgets his f*cking pencils at home.
But this sh*t's real.
How are you planning
on k*lling him anyway?
With a f*cking sword?
Actually, a machete would be cooler.
Ah, scratch that. Ain't the f*cking point.
You can't just take out a capo
and be on your merry f*cking way.
I just gotta find a way
to meet him before the money's due.
Then whatever happens, happens.
B, I ain't playing.
Stop dicking around.
Sell a kidney, pay off
your debt like a man,
and that sh*t will be ancient history.
Look, I ain't heartless, brother.
Your pain is my pain.
I can feel how heavy
your heart is right now.
You know, funny story.
I had to go to the hospital yesterday
and the doctor told me that
my blood sugar levels were
Something came up.
I'll talk to you later.
Hello?
Lemme see the invitation.
It's the same.
Million dollar prize.
You lose, you die.
Even says we're to meet tomorrow morning.
Yeah, this is just the rendezvous point.
The actual game is never
played in the same place.
It's always different.
Last time was in the basement
of an abandoned warehouse
out in the boonies.
A contractor found it by
accident, called it in.
This is just a pickup spot.
What I want, I want the
address of the actual event.
That's what I need, but I
don't know how to get it.
It's simple.
You just follow me out
to the rendezvous point after I leave.
Don't be ridiculous.
I'm not gonna risk a
civilian's life like that.
Of course, based on how it's worded,
they're asking me to follow you out there
to see what happens.
They'd probably k*ll you
before you even get there.
Now, I managed to try
to find the IP address
of an invitation I pulled
from the dark web, but I was
Stick a GPS in me.
As long as it's small enough,
there's no way they can detect it, right?
Theoretically speaking,
you are right. Yes.
And that is the best shot.
But I am not going to use a
citizen as a piece of bait.
Look, I'm dead in a month anyway.
Either I die trying to save my life
or the lives of,
who knows how many others?
You have to let me do this.
If my boss found out
that I used a witness to catch a m*rder*r.
- Come on.
- I'd lose my job!
Then we'd have murderers
running all over the place.
Nobody wants that.
I can't risk it. No.
And what if said witness
decided to do it anyway?
Despite your best attempts to stop him?
Well, if said witness
were to make this decision unilaterally,
then said detective would make sure
that there's a SWAT unit to save you
the minute your GPS stops moving.
Hypothetically speaking,
I would also advise that you stay calm.
You have no idea how far out
these guys are gonna take you.
You don't know what their security is.
And above all, don't push your luck ever.
And for the love of God,
don't get yourself k*lled before
I can come in and save you.
Alright?
It'd take a chainsaw
to get anything outta me.
Okay.
I'll be back later tonight
with a GPS and a doc.
(dramatic guitar music)
(waves crashing)
(upbeat rock music)
(footsteps clicking)
(bag thumps)
Good evening, Brian.
(syringe clangs)
[Brian] That's thicker than I expected.
That's what she said.
Now, now. Don't be such a baby.
I promise you'll hardly feel a thing.
(Brian screams)
Oh! f*ck you!
Oh, you won't die.
I'm almost finished.
What the f*ck is wrong with you?
(Brian sobs)
Stop twisting it like that!
(Brian sobbing)
g*dd*mn it!
Ah, but there's no God.
Here's a damn, only me.
Why not a sweetie for
the brave boy instead?
Listen, don't worry.
She knows what she's doing.
I think.
f*ck you!
Now, they're gonna pick you up
tomorrow morning at eight o'clock.
[Brian] Yes.
I'm gonna start the
surveillance at 7:00 AM
and I'll stay with you as
long as I possibly can.
All right?
Say all right.
[Brian] Yes. All right.
(upbeat rock music)
(razor blade dings)
(upbeat rock music continues)
(van rumbles)
Brian, right?
[Brian] The one and only.
Get in.
Door, please.
(upbeat rock music)
Glasses off, Brian.
My surprise!
What the?
(Brian mumbling)
(crowd cheering distantly)
Ladies and gentlemen,
madames and monsieurs,
welcome to our Coliseum of Doom!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
sh*t!
My name is Jean-K Paul,
and I will be your host for this evening.
I would like to thank you
one and all for coming.
Enchante!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
Our game tonight is a humble one,
one that I'm sure you have played
countless times in your childhood,
but never with stakes this high.
Tonight, one contestant
will survive our tournament
of rock, paper, scissors!
(crowd cheering)
But when the stakes are this high
and everyone has their own set of rules,
we will be clarifying how
to win or lose tonight.
They are betting their lives, after all.
When the stakes are this high,
there can be no room for error.
No matter who complains,
whether it be audience or contestant,
we cannot exactly fix a missed call.
But before we go any further,
you may be wondering, pourquoi?
Of all the sports in this world,
why did we choose rock, paper, scissors?
When it comes to rock, paper, scissors,
all, even God Almighty, are equal.
There is no discrimination.
There is no advantage to be had
between young and old,
between men or women,
fat or skinny,
tall or short,
French or f*cking British.
They're all equal in
rock, paper, scissors.
Mais oui, it is perhaps
the most equal thing
in this corrupt world of ours.
It was the 1920s when it was introduced
in its original form, janken from Japan.
[Audience Member] Get on with it!
It has been...
(Jean-K shouts in French)
(glass shatters)
(Jean-K speaks in French)
But that is what happens
when you interrupt the show.
So please, behave.
Wait! Wait, no!
Ah!
Now then, onto the rules.
If our contestants have any questions,
feel free to press the button
by the microphone in your waiting room.
As for our lovely audience,
if you have any questions,
feel free to shout them
out and let me know.
(Jean-K chuckles)
(suspenseful music)
(Jean-K gulping drink)
Rule number one,
and this goes for everyone here,
contestants and audience alike.
Do not try to f*ck me.
I have all of your cellphones, oui?
I also know your true identity.
Your address, family names.
You will regret it, believe me.
Rule number two,
I will be the one to announce the games.
And it shall sound like this.
Rock,
paper,
scissors.
One, two, three, allez!
You must throw out your choice
at the exact moment as I say, "Allez."
Whatever your hand forms
will be your choice.
And of course,
if you are a moment
early or a moment late,
you will be, oh, how do you say?
Blown to bits! (Laughs)
Rule number three.
We have eight contestants here tonight
who have chosen this sacred ring
to be their final resting place.
Both contestants will be
given time to share with us,
gratitude for their mothers.
Oh, a message to a lover,
or perhaps a terrified
scream for life, yeah?
But we tend to get that quite often, non?
And finally, reset the bodysuits!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd whistling)
That is right, ladies and
gentlemen, madames and monsieurs.
These expl*sives that will be
strapped to each contestant
are what will ensure each round ends
in a beautiful red show!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
And as we have eight
competitors this time,
the winner will be granted
a prize of $1,000,000!
And of course,
seven beautiful firework shows!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
And that is all from moi.
Well, is there any questions?
[Player] Mic check. Mic check.
Can you all hear me?
Oui, oui.
Yes, we can hear you, Cher compagnon.
Assuming you win,
assuming you are the lucky 12.5%
that doesn't get off today,
how do we get paid?
All I can tell you is this.
The winner will go home the
same way they came here.
And when they wake up in their lovely bed,
they will find a large attache case.
Open it, and enjoy the
next chapter of your life.
[Player] Well, that
sounds just fine by me.
Anyone else?
Wait.
Has, has the bracket been decided yet?
They have, but we will not
announce it ahead of time,
as it might give a slight
advantage to the final two.
I call out your name, you will come.
Simple, non?
But I, then how long
will each match take?
What is the point of this question?
It's not the f*cking Tour de France.
I just, I just wanna be prepared. Okay?
To answer your question, it depends.
Anywhere from three to 15 minutes.
But what's important is
that your stories connect
and excites the audience.
It's important that you touch their hearts
before your hearts touch them.
(Jean-K chuckles)
Now, I am sure there are more questions,
but we're now right on time
for the start of our first round.
Our first contestant is a woman
looking to save her poor,
debt-ridden boyfriend
who's still in the hospital
after a terrible accident.
Your applause please for Amy Evans!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
Hey!
[Audience Member] Where's
my smile, sugar t*ts? (Laughs)
(suspenseful music)
And her opponent, a
self-proclaimed psycho.
He's been decapitating pigeons
with nothing but a piece
of string since childhood.
This man needs money.
No one knows why.
Give it up for Nicholas Nojina!
(Nicholas humming)
(crowd cheering)
(crowd applauding)
(Nicholas grunts)
Masterpiece, not service.
Oh. Oh my.
Oh. Oh.
Hmm.
(dramatic music)
Okay, well.
Well, well, well.
It seems like this will
be the perfect match
to start things off with, no?
[Audience Member] What's the matter?
Cat got your tongue? Spit it out.
Arret! Arret!
(Jean-K speaks in French)
I am sorry, Amy,
but you must find the courage to speak up.
(Amy sobs quietly)
I love Victor
and I can't live without him.
(Amy whimpers)
Please.
Amy! Open the door!
The door!
Oh.
Oh my God! You're bleeding!
No! Oh my God!
- Come on.
- You need an ambulance.
No! No ambulance!
Give me scotch!
(Amy shouts)
- I don't understand.
- Now!
Give me scotch.
Take it. I don't know what it is.
I don't know what it is.
(Victor screaming)
We have to go!
What are we going to do?
[Victor] I don't know.
Why I'm all f*cked up like this?
Watch out!
(both screaming)
(tires screech)
(suspenseful music)
You owe us $1 million now.
You have one month.
Otherwise, I'll k*ll both of you.
Hey, don't bother running away again.
(suspenseful music)
We'll be watching you.
Now hurry up and go to ambulance.
He'll be honored fully,
if he's dead.
(suspenseful music)
(Amy sobbing)
I'm here for Victor.
Merveilleux!
That may have taken a
little longer than expected,
but that's what we are here for.
That's what makes this whole
song and dance worth it.
Merci beaucoup, mon cheri.
Now then Nicholas, I'm sorry
to make you wait for so long.
Let us hear your last words!
(Nicholas chuckles)
(Nicholas sighs)
Nicholas.
Duel. It's a duel.
Duel, duel, duel.
Yes, yes, yes.
How fun.
How fun.
Sure fun.
Nicholas will tell you all
a funny, funny, very funny story.
Once upon a time in the
backwoods of Osaka Sakano,
a young brother sister, they
were peddlers of frog oil.
(Nicholas speaking in foreign language)
Nicholas is talking about ado.
(Nicholas speaking in foreign language)
(Nicholas snickers)
(Nicholas sighs)
And one morning, over 50
years old come to them,
does their frog oil work for old wounds?
"I get it, good sir."
"We are taking a look at it first."
He only showed them his back.
"This wound, I know who you are."
"You're the one who k*lled my father."
"That is I."
The children were furious.
Their father had been k*lled by,
(Nicholas speaks in foreign language)
And they look to avenge his death.
"I finally found you."
"I will, I will avenge my
father no matter what!"
Wait, I don't wish to stain the streets
of Osaka Sakano with blood.
If we won't take revenge,
let us do it elsewhere.
Enough. That is enough.
It's time to move on.
[Audience Member] Hey, I
want to hear how it ends!
- Me too.
- Right, right.
How long is this going to take?
The stage is set.
Nicholas said the stage is set.
The fun is just beginning.
The promise of a duel
led them to the city
in the blink of an eye.
On the day of the duel,
the whole neighborhood of Takadanobaba
was crowded with spectators
and all the cafes and stores
in the area were filled.
And yet 10 o'clock passed.
There was no sign of either body,
and they were past 10:00.
The crowd back then was completely drunk
and they began to shout.
When is the duel going to start?
When does the duel start?
Where are they?
Present!
What?
You are baloney.
When does the duel start?
My apologies.
No duel today.
Has the siblings' father forgiven you?
The name I gave,
(Nicholas speaks in foreign language)
Is fake.
And the duel was never going to happen.
For the siblings, they're my children.
Why?
Why would you play such a trick on us?
Once people heard
there was going to be
a duel in Takadanobaba,
many would gather to watch
and they would all get
hungry or thirsty eventually.
And I thought we'd live quite handsomely
if I made a deal with
the stores in the 20%
of the day's profit in exchange
for crowds hungry to see some blood.
(mysterious music)
(Nicholas laughs)
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
A masterpiece!
(Jean-K speaks in French)
Now then who will win?
Amy, our tragic fiancee?
Or Nicholas, the f*cking comedian?
Round one.
One, one!
Let's begin, shall we?
Let the dance of death begin!
(dramatic orchestral music)
I can't hear you!
Are you ready?
(crowd cheering)
Alright then, let's begin!
All together now!
Rock!
[Crowd] Rock!
(Jean-K stuttering)
Paper!
[Crowd] Paper!
(Jean-K stuttering)
Scissors!
[Crowd] Scissors!
One, two, three!
Allez!
(dramatic orchestral music)
(Nicholas shouts)
(blood squelches)
(Amy screams)
(Amy screaming)
And the winner is Amy! (Laughs)
(Jean-K clapping)
Lovely.
(crowd cheering)
Really lovely.
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
(ominous music)
(door creaks)
Come on, let's move.
It's time, move.
I'm going.
- Move.
- I'm going.
Keep it going.
Our fourth contestant is Brian Cooper!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
He is the boyfriend
of one of our previous
contestants, Sophia Barrett.
Is he here for the money
or is he here for revenge?
My apologies, Simon.
May I have your last words?
How did I let that happen?
[Audience Member] Hurry up already.
Now, now, madame, please.
Hmm?
My dear Simon,
you are admittedly in
quite the frightening spot.
And in situations such as these,
perhaps you slowly start
to feel your bladder muscles relax
as your urethra slowly opens,
and then, bam!
It all comes out at once.
Ooh.
Come on, Simon.
These will be your last words.
Why do you need the money?
(suspenseful music)
How did I get into this mess?
Simple.
I got scammed.
[Jean-K] Oh.
I've been screwed.
[Jean-K] Oh.
By scums like you.
Moi?
All my life,
you trick people without
thinking twice about it.
People like you ruined my life.
[Jean-K] Oh no.
Why the hell my luck is so bad?
Please God,
how much you will not make me suffer?
For once in my miserable life, help me!
Please help me win!
(Jean-K laughing)
Merci, merci.
There you have it, folks.
There's always at least one, n'est-ce pas?
There is no such thing as a God who
oh, so conveniently smiles
upon you when you need it.
Well, well, well, Brian.
I hope you will tell us
something a little more
interesting instead.
All I want to know is why.
How could you do this?
Playing with people's lives like this?
And my fiancee,
Sophia,
you m*rder*d her.
Right here.
Her blood is on your hands!
Go on.
How could you do this?
You're all a bunch of f*cking psychopaths.
You're no better than
t*rrorists or school shooters.
No, you're worse
because you actually enjoy this sick game.
Do people's lives mean nothing to you?
Everyone here has family, friends,
and they'll be haunted forever
losing someone they love
without ever knowing
what happened to them.
How many people have you m*rder*d?
How many people will never
be found because of you?
How can you just stand there
looking at me like that?
And you.
You're the worst of them.
Hosting this?
This is fun for you? You sick f*ck.
You f*cking piece of sh*t.
You're no better than
a rat spreading disease
along with all the other rats here.
And no one will be safe until
you're all exterminated.
Now.
No, no, no.
You will not insult anyone
when in front of my lovely audience.
Do you understand?
Ah. (Chuckles)
Mais oui.
I forgot to mention one crucial thing.
Every participant here
tonight was invited.
No one was forced to be here.
Everyone had the option
of ignoring the message.
Oh, every contestant here
is nothing more than,
oh, to borrow your phrase, mon ami,
a rat fooled in the million dollar trap.
The sand tiger shark has two wombs.
The female of the species mates
with many different partners
and stores many eggs.
But the fetus that hatches first
grows up by eating all of the others.
It is, how do you say?
Natural selection, the law of the jungle.
You, you may have won the
sperm race by the grace of God.
Oh, but you lost at natural selection.
Or if you were on your
own in your own free will,
well, you would be buried in a field
where nobody would see you
by the mafia in a place
that no one could find you.
But I, I, Jean-K Paul,
in my infinite charity,
I provided you with a way to
make your death unforgettable.
If you're going to die,
why not die this way?
You're the reason Sophia's dead.
That's it?
You truly are nothing but talk
and talk is cheap when your
legs keep shaking like that.
Now s'il vous plait,
stop the constant screeching
about your dead fiancee, d'accord?
m*therf*cker!
(Brian grunts)
(Jean-K laughing)
(Brian coughing)
(Jean-K laughing)
Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.
I'm sorry.
(playful music)
But I have to win.
Wonderful, wonderful.
Oh, it seems our little chihuahua
is finally barking in the right direction.
Now, will God grant Simon
the convenient Christians' wish?
Or will he extend his grace to Brian?
Who really should work
on that temper of his.
So, let us begin.
(crowd cheering)
The dance of death begins again now!
(crowd cheering)
Rock!
[Crowd] Rock!
Paper!
[Crowd] Paper!
(dramatic music)
Scissors!
[Crowd] Scissors!
One, two, three!
Allez!
(dramatic music)
(Jean-K laughs)
(expl*si*n rumbles)
(blood squelches)
And the winner is Brian!
(crowd cheering)
As we all could've guessed,
God chose to take Simon.
- Don't f*cking touch me!
Who is now, as you say,
dead.
f*ck off!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
As you can see, ladies and gentlemen,
rock, paper, scissors is the simplest,
is the most extreme sport out there.
One where you create some intense focus
and end up with an exciting, exhilarating,
expl*sive finish.
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
One, two, three! Allez!
(expl*si*n rumbles)
(crowd cheering)
(door creaks)
[Antonio] Looks like
it's time to roll. (Laughs)
Introducing our final competitor,
a gambler so legendary
that his name alone makes people tremble.
The one, the only,
Antonio Cortez!
(dramatic music)
That's Antonio Cortez, the legend.
Brian, you know his story?
He's 10 years old when
he makes his first bet.
Him and some other school boys,
they've got no money, but
you get playground respect.
And one boy says he's gonna
throw a book at the teacher.
Cortez says he's going
to burn the school down.
And nobody collects on the bet
because six weeks later,
the school burns down and that's it.
He joins a g*ng.
He's sucked into the world
of high stakes gambling.
Already by 15, he has this reputation.
He's always up for a bet, anything.
Last but certainly not least,
Antonio's last words.
Hmm.
Listen up, brother.
I'm gonna play rock.
So you get ready and you throw out paper.
Pew!
But then again, the world
just ain't that simple.
Now is it?
It's full of lies and
liars and you know it.
Oh yeah. Just as well as I do.
So you are probably thinking,
I might throw out some scissors instead.
Or maybe you start
thinking it will be better
to mind game me a little bit
and throw out a rock of your own.
But maybe, maybe you
take it one step further
and you throw out paper after rock.
(Antonio chuckles)
Huh?
Whoop!
Boom! (Laughs)
Oh, f*ck. Not funny?
I feel like some tension here,
because here are the facts, hermano.
All hands got a 33% chance
of winning in this game,
at least statistically speaking.
And that's the plain truth.
But I just told you
I'm gonna throw a rock,
meaning I created bias.
It ain't 33% across the board no more.
Most of people don't play
with much of a plan in mind.
But here and now,
your only two options are
whether I'm telling you the truth or not.
So it's kind of 50/50 chance
that I'm gonna throw out rock.
But does it mean it's 50% chance
I'm gonna throw out something else?
No, no, no.
No sir.
Odds that the other guy throws out paper
to beat that stupid honest
rock should be higher
because of the bias.
Odds of me throwing out
paper is less than 25%.
So now your two choices are paper,
which has normally the
best chance of a victory,
or rock, which has the
lowest chance of losing.
But just think about it.
Think about if I'm lying.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
So paper, which have the normally
the best chance of winning, will lose,
and losing in this game?
Oh, yikes.
You aren't just gonna lose
a little pinky or nothing.
You know what happens if
you lose in this game?
You will never play paper again,
(Antonio laughs)
Even though it's the most likely to win
'cause it's also the most likely to lose.
But playing rock,
that's got the highest
chance of a tie, hmm.
And winning right up there
and second the most likely to happen,
but losing's in a distant third.
Hmm, so just by saying
I'm gonna play a rock,
it becomes the safest
choice at the drop of a hat.
So that's what I'm gonna do.
How about you, my little pumpkin pie?
Hmm, that's all I gotta say, Mr. Host.
Let's get it started!
Oh, they certainly were
not exaggerating, mon ami.
You are truly a legendary gambler.
(upbeat rock music)
I've never been more excited
to get a match started! (Laughs)
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
Are you ready for the
final hands of round one?
(dramatic music)
(belt buckle jingles)
Here we go.
Rock!
[Crowd] Rock!
(Jean-K stuttering)
Paper!
[Crowd] Paper!
Scissors!
[Crowd] Scissors!
One, two, three! Allez!
(player screaming)
(expl*si*n rumbles)
(blood squelches)
I told you I was throwing rock!
Jesus! Nobody listens to me!
(crowd cheering)
Woo-hoo!
Woo!
g*dd*mn.
(chair thumps)
(crowd clapping)
Now I present to you
the players for round two.
[Crowd] Yeah!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd whistling)
Well, well, well.
If it ain't Mr. GanGoe himself.
I'm a big fan.
Although I gotta admit you,
you kind of look like a
b*tch in real life though.
[GanGoe] What?
(Antonio chuckles)
Oh man. You heard me.
I'm looking forward to seeing
if you will smell like a b*tch too,
after I blow you to bits.
Are you kidding me?
Just f*ck off already.
(chuckles) That's all
it took to set you off?
Looks like you really are a p*ssy.
When you're not hiding behind your screen,
you f*cking YouTuber.
Listen, there's no mask and
camera to hide behind this time.
I'm gonna show to the
world who you really are.
And they're gonna see that
when the chips are down,
you ain't nothing but a coward
cosplaying like a journalist for clicks.
Whoa, whoa.
And you're the type of guy
who deserves to get k*lled for good.
(Jean-K claps)
Gentlemen, there is no
fighting outside the ring.
You will have plenty of time
to settle your differences
in a few minutes anyway.
So save it for the show.
Now onto the next match.
Amy, come on in!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
Amy!
Amy!
Looks like she still
needs a minute, brother.
You mind if we go first?
I'd rather not sit next
to this pecker head
for the whole round anyway.
Nope, we cannot go changing
the rules all willy nilly.
If she does not move,
she will be disqualified.
(door thumping)
[Officer] Go, go, go, go, go!
Hands up! Nobody move!
Ah!
(Brian laughs)
You're all f*cked! (Laughs)
(playful music)
Ladies and gentlemen,
put your hands together
for the halftime show!
(dramatic music)
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
What's the matter, Brian?
Aren't you having any fun?
Perhaps you were thinking
of something else, huh?
You think we're f*cking stupid?
We've been doing this show for years.
The real police are probably
at an abandoned warehouse
right now! (Laughs)
I'll k*ll you.
I'll f*cking k*ll you first.
(Jean-K laughing)
You see the look on his face? (Laughs)
He thinks he's pointing a real g*n at us!
(Jean-K laughing)
Oh, come. Come, Brian.
No, enough.
Give the good sportsman back his toy.
Go back to your place.
Go.
Go, go, go.
Well, everybody, that was quite the ending
to the halftime show!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
(dramatic music)
Come on, m*therf*ckers and gents.
I mean, look at him.
For Christ's sake.
How do expect them to play
when they can't even f*cking stand?
Well, I suppose it would not be fun
if they both died from disqualification.
So let us have the Antonio
versus Charlie match first!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
Brian, look brother, the host
is shittier than the toilet
at the Texas State Fair, but
he is right about one thing.
Everyone's here just as bad.
Bible says every life is sacred,
but feels like the world
would be better off
without every last one of
those f*ck in the audience.
(Antonio chuckles)
By the way, Mr. GanGoe,
what brings you here to
our lovely m*rder basement?
I had waged there is be close to nothing
allowed to get you out here in the open.
I had to because of
threats from people like you!
Ooh, is that so?
Well, I do apologize, my good sir.
(Antonio speaks in Spanish)
[GanGoe] Hi guys.
This is my first live stream.
You can call me GanGoe.
This channel is for
revenge against the mafia.
They k*lled my best friend.
So I'm gonna be revealing.
(energetic music)
Welcome to the first GanGoe live stream!
(GanGoe shouting)
(GanGoe speaking in foreign language)
(upbeat music)
(GanGoe breathing heavily)
(laughs) Holy hell.
That's all it took to get you?
You really are a p*ssy.
f*ck off!
I've been working really hard as GanGoe
to get rid of f*cking scum like you.
I'm getting more viewers every single day.
And one day my community
will have social justice
against all you villains.
Oh well.
I will have you know that these days
I run into fresh gangsters
and wannabe card sharks all the time.
And just about every
single one of them say
it's all thanks to you, Mr. GanGoe.
I made a video, you know?
Of the invite, of everything
leading up to the pickup.
It'll premiere by now,
which means the whole world now
knows about this massive tournament.
The real police should
be on the move by now.
You know what?
Every single one my 500,000 followers
will make sure you're gonna get canceled.
Man, man. Alright, alright, GanGoe.
I've been hearing you
whine for awhile now.
But the fact is, you're dead
wrong about three things.
First of all,
if people really wanted
to get rid of gangsters,
then why don't they?
And it's because as much as
folks like to b*tch and moan,
they provide a service that
people are willing to pay for.
And furthermore,
just who the f*ck do you
think you are, my boy?
You are here talking
like the g*dd*mn Messiah
when all you got backing you up
is a bunch of limp d*ck basement dwellers
acting like the tough sh*t
in the YouTube comments.
How many of them do you think
would give a f*ck when you are gone?
[GanGoe] Talk all you want.
Someone like you
will never get to 500,000
followers like me.
Here we go again.
With the 500 f*cking
thousand followers bit.
You just don't get it, do you GanGoe?
500,000 followers don't count for squat
in rock, paper, scissors.
Well, you just go ahead
and keep stroking your
ego with that number.
The fact is I love
people like you, GanGoe.
Truly, I just love watching that moment
when all your bullshit falls
apart and everyone sees
that you are nothing more than a coward
self-righteously masturbating
behind your cause, baby.
Even if I die, I have followers,
I have friends who will
carry on my legacy.
My death will only
accelerate the movement!
Okay, I said all I need to say.
Let's get this over with!
(crowd cheering)
Woo!
Well then, who's ready
for the start of round two?
(crowd cheering)
Sorry, one last thing.
I'm gonna play rock.
(dramatic music)
What you gonna play, my boy?
Let the first match of round two begin!
(crowd cheering)
Rock!
[Crowd] Rock!
(Jean-K stuttering)
Paper!
[Crowd] Paper!
Scissors!
[Crowd] Scissors!
One, two, three! Allez!
(dramatic music)
(expl*si*n rumbles)
(blood squelches)
Yee-haw!
Like a lean, mean guillotine
machina, m*therf*cker.
Antonio wins!
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
I wonder how long that the world
will mourn the loss of Gan, of Gan?
I can't even remember his name! (Laughs)
GanGoe's looking more like
a bang up now. (Chuckles)
Adios, partner.
My, my, my.
It seems Antonio always
puts on quite the show, eh?
As we continue,
we only have two matches left
and coming up, Amy versus Brian.
Will our bloodied and battered heroine
make it to the next round?
Or will it be Brian whose brilliant idea
to have the police raid us
turned out to be not
so brilliant after all?
(Antonio and Jean-K laughing)
Maybe the real question is,
will either one of them be
able to stand up in time?
(Jean-K laughing)
(Antonio laughing)
Come on, Brian, Amy.
Hey Brian.
Everybody's betting on
Cortez the legend to win.
But, um, I couldn't get good odds.
So I'm all in on you.
Everything on you, Brian.
Don't let me down, son. (Chuckles)
You son of a b*tch! Shut up!
Shut up! Shut the f*ck up!
[Jean-K] Oh, good luck, Brian.
Good luck. (Laughs)
[Security Guard] No.
Amy!
(Jean-K snaps fingers)
Amy!
[Security Guard] Move, Brian, move.
You too, Amy. Come on.
(suspenseful music)
[Jean-K] Amy, get up.
It's time for your last words.
(suspenseful music)
Get up.
I said get up!
Get up!
Get up!
Get up!
(hand slaps)
Stop it!
You want me to blow
you the f*ck up too, huh?
Yes.
What the f*ck did you just say to me?
(Jean-K shouts in French)
(suspenseful music)
Unfortunately I cannot.
Why not?
I don't wanna play any more than she does.
'Cause if both players
decide not to play,
then Antonio wins by
default and that is not...
Fun.
[Amy] I'm so tired.
Amy, oui, oui.
Oh, you found the will to go on.
Merveilleux.
I would've been ashamed
to let you die like a dog.
Amy, don't give up.
Look, I lost Sophia to these b*stards
so I know how much it hurts.
But you have to survive.
You have to save Victor.
They, they took everything from me.
But you still have Victor.
You still have a future
and when you get the money,
you two can start over.
I know you can.
(suspenseful music)
Amy.
I'm gonna play rock.
Okay?
All you have to do is
play paper and you win.
I want you to win.
Please just throw out paper, okay?
Well, this is quite a situation.
Perhaps not as interesting as a round,
but it has its charm, no?
Amy, you might be the only
person to win at this game,
if you throw out paper, that is.
[Audience Member] That's bullshit.
What kind of match is this?
- I want my money back.
- Me too.
(crowd booing)
Don't listen to them.
They're not even human.
You have to ignore them,
otherwise they get what they want.
Just throw out paper, okay?
Oui, oui, oui.
Ah, Brian.
Merci beaucoup, Brian.
Fantastique.
Fantastique.
Brian, merci beaucoup.
Well, well, well.
It looks like we've managed to
get back on track after all.
Round two, match two.
Oh, we may already knows
the outcome of this match,
but nonetheless,
we have a tragic heroine
and a tragic hero who has chosen to die.
So please everyone join me
in singing the final requiem for Brian.
(solemn orchestral music)
Rock!
(Jean-K stuttering)
Paper!
(Jean-K stuttering)
Scissors!
One, two, three! Allez!
(dramatic music)
f*ck you, Victor.
(Jean-K speaks in French)
Why, why, why? You stupid f*cking b*tch.
Amy, why?
(crowd booing)
Alright, alright, alright.
Everyone who placed a bet on this round
gets their money back, d'accord?
Huh?
However, it would not be right
for this petite rebellion
to go unpunished.
So we will make sure to
wake up Victor from his coma
before we send him up to be with you.
(dramatic music)
I will never come back to this world.
Never.
Adieu, ma belle.
No!
(dramatic music)
B?
B?
B?
(dramatic music)
Felicitations, Brian, Brian, Brian.
Thank God brother, it's you.
Going after Amy would've felt
like bullying at this point.
Now we got a real match on our hands.
[Brian] You said everyone here was sh*t.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
You were right.
But you're just as big a piece
of sh*t as the rest of 'em.
I'll k*ll you.
Oh, hmm.
I swear to God I'll k*ll you.
And every last one of you m*therf*ckers!
You are all guilty!
That's just swell!
You finally got some fire in your belly.
Before we do this,
I wanna know why did you join?
Ah, well nothing else calls
to me the way gambling does.
I played until my mind went numb.
And before I knew it,
people started calling me
the legendary gambler
or some sh*t like that.
What the f*ck I care?
I lost so much things.
Even gone homeless more times
than I can even f*cking count
and I'm pretty good at counting.
But what do you think you do
when you have nothing left to bet?
You just give up?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, everyone's got always
something left to bet.
After all, if you bet your fingers
and toes one at a time,
that's 20 more chances to win.
That's how I learned to survive.
That's how I learned to win.
But I got too good at winning.
And winning is no fun if
there is no risk of losing.
I don't know, man.
Ah, I suppose I need,
I need more adrenaline than most
to feel just about anything these days.
Suppose an old cowhand
is about to hang up his
hat for the very last time.
I just got too used to betting.
So come on, Brian.
Come on!
Let's have some fun.
k*lling people makes you feel alive?
Ah, sorry.
It's the folks up top who are
k*lling the people, right?
Holy sh*t.
I don't see any detonators
in both of my hands.
I said exactly the same
thing to GanGoe here earlier.
I never k*lled nobody.
I play this game fair and square.
I follow the rules to the letter.
There ain't no point to
cheating to win in my book.
But you wanna accuse the real cheaters
then look around you.
There are dozens.
One single of these m*therf*ckers
haven't cheated to get this rich.
But I just do admit, they
put on a g*dd*mn show.
Hey, mon ami.
That may be true, but I promise you
there has been no cheating
in this tournament.
Now then, let's get started.
(crowd cheering)
(crowd clapping)
(crowd chanting)
Let's get started.
Are you ready?
(crowd chanting)
Let the final match of death begin!
(crowd chanting)
(dramatic bluesy music)
(crowd chanting)
Rock!
[Crowd] Rock!
Paper!
[Crowd] Paper!
Scissors!
[Crowd] Scissors!
One, two, three! Allez!
Yee-haw!
I feel alive!
(crowd chanting)
Woo-hoo!
Rock!
Paper!
Scissors!
One, two, three! Allez!
(Jean-K shouting)
(dramatic orchestral music)
(crowd clapping)
Bravo, bravo, everybody.
Absolutely, bravo.
And Brian, holy cow.
Where did that come from?
The power, huh?
Bam!
Jean-K Paul, that was, how do you say?
Je ne sais quoi.
Magnifique.
Where I am from, we call
that being in the zone.
What's the matter, Brian?
You should be celebrating.
This guy just won a million dollars.
You're a millionaire.
Why?
Ah, why?
Because I want to make
the greatest show yet.
[Brian] Stick a GPS in me.
(Cavendish coughs)
That's why.
(Cavendish laughing)
You should see his face!
You should go count your money.
This guy is so rich.
(Brian screaming)
Now he's a millionaire.
He's got so much money he
can buy his own happy ending.
You are welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you for joining us for
the seventh Janken Tournament.
Have a good night. Bye.
(dramatic music)
(mysterious music)
We had a lot of money on the
man with the mouth, Cortez.
Unfortunately your man Brian
seemed to pick him at the end.
But we made it up on the side bets.
(jaunty music)
Great show. Enjoyed myself.
And that Nicholas, my favorite player.
(jaunty music)
Not enough women in the show.
You mean female participants?
Yes.
(jaunty music)
So exciting. (Muttering)
Oh yes, this is so good.
You know, this is so good.
This guy is just dead.
I see the board. Yes.
It's so good. Everybody come.
Just come, come, come.
Everybody, just
(jaunty music)
My bombs were beautifully constructed.
I promised people getting blown to bits,
and that's really all that
was left of them, bits.
Bits, indeed.
You heard it here, folks.
(jaunty music)
(bluesy country music)
(bluesy country music)
(bluesy country music)
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