05x06 - Glass Half Full

[bunniefuu]

[opening theme music playing]

[panting]

- Perhaps we should...
- Wait.

[panting continues]

He's done it several times.

It really is
the strangest little cough.

[panting continues]

[mimics cough]

[panting continues]

Well, it seems
the moment has passed.

Well, the good news is,
his breathing sounds fine.

And you don't think
his teeth are troubling him?

His gums are slightly inflamed.

We spoke about avoiding too much
sugar in his diet, didn't we?

Oh, indeed we did.

And Tricki's been quite abstemious.

- Oh, that's good to hear.
- Mm.

Well, he's aware of rationing,

and he considers it
a small sacrifice,

given what others have made.

- Right.
- [panting continues]

As long as you think
he's all right?

He seems perfectly healthy
to me.

But if that cough does come back...

Oh, don't worry.

Uncle Herriot will be
the very first to hear about it.

Won't he, Tricki?

- [Helen] Coming through!
- Hello, wee man.

Good heavens.

Are these all from
the victory gardens?

[Helen] And there's plenty more
where that came from.

Bumper harvest.

You might say
too much of a good thing.

Not for you, Tricki.

They're full of sugar.

- Afternoon, Mr Farnon.
- Afternoon.

Oh.

You'll like this. It's come from
the victory gardens.

Yes! See there?

You sure you don't mind doing this?

Just a limit to how fast
folk can eat them.

[Mrs Hall] Of course not.

It means the fruit won't go to waste.

And we can send some jam
up to Pumphrey Manor.

It's just, er...

Not sure where I'm gonna
find enough sugar.

[Helen] Oh, don't worry.

I'll just have to do
some ringing round.

- Well done.
- Mrs Hall.

You all right there, Siegfried?

I'm afraid there was an incident
with Arkwright's sow.

Is it just mud?

I can't promise.

Bucket's on the landing.

I've a load of Tris'
waiting to be done.

- Right. Thank you.
- [Helen] Here we go.

Choo-choo-choo-choo-
choo-choo-choo.

You like this?

Good afternoon, young man.

Oh, that looks very delicious.

Seems to meet with his approval.

- Mm-hm.
- Ah!

Oh, erm, were there any calls
while I was out?

James took a message
by the telephone.

Mr Dobson, I think.

Right.

[sighs]

Oh. Good afternoon.
This is Siegfried Farnon.

I wondered if I might speak
to Miss Grantley.

Oh. I see.

Erm...

Er... N-N-No message.

No. Erm, thank you. Goodbye.

[Jimmy giggles]

Let's see where Daddy's got to,
shall we?

[Jimmy babbles]

Oh, what's that funny smell?

Is that you or the piggies?

Come on, then.

Where's your daddy?

[Jimmy babbles]

Oh, hello, sleepyhead.

You all right there?

[Jimmy babbles]

[gasps] Sorry.

[clears throat]
I just needed a minute.

[Helen] Not like you.

Hey, Jimmy, my boy.

It was rather a long surgery.

I think your daddy might be
too tired for bath time.

Never! Hey, my boy.

[Jimmy squeals]

Let's see where those duckies
have got to, shall we?

Eh? [chuckles]

Must you always put your feet
on the furniture?

Cripes.
What happened to you?

Worming a 900-pound sow
is not a one-man job.

[laughs] Suppose not.

You've been having a productive day.

Er, I have, actually.
Been marking course papers

and feeling rather chuffed
with myself.

Managed to squeeze a lot more
into their noggins than I thought.

Right. So might you have
some time on your hands

now the course is over?
Because we're a bit stretched.

Afraid not.

I have a new batch of students
starting imminently.

No rest for the wicked.

Well, don't leave your papers
all over the floor.

Eh.

Lost something?

Oh, just the, er,
book I was reading.

I felt sure I left it
in the office.

Oh, you mean the goat lady's
Persian memoirs.

Yes.

- [chuckles]
- Oh, I'm sure it'll turn up.

You could work at a desk,
you know, like a normal person.

No, no, I like to spread out.

Helps me think, you see.

[mumbling]

Ah. Sorry.

[Mrs Hall]
Jess, Dash, dinner!

Oh, my word.
That smells good.

You know liver's
my absolute favourite.

Let me at it.

If your brother asks,
it's all they had.

He already thinks I spoil you.

Is he all right?

Seemed a bit down in the mouth
earlier.

I think he's finding it hard work
managing without Mr Carmody.

Mm.

You know... if you did happen
to have a few spare hours...

I am actually fully employed,
you know, Mrs H.

No, no. Of course.
Just a thought.

Any luck?

Dot Fawcett and Mo Roberts
both have sugar put by,

so I said I'll pop round
in the morning.

Well, that's a good start.

And I'm not going to Heston,
so I'll be here to give you a hand.

What?

Well, it's just chopping
and stirring.

I think even I can manage that.

James, did you take
these calls for tomorrow?

Er, if you mean the castration
and the possible teeth rasping,

then, yes, I did.

You're aware that I don't
currently have an assistant.

I know, it's not ideal,
but if the surgery isn't so busy,

I could try and join you
for the castration.

Tristan, if you were thinking
to borrow the Rover tonight,

you'll need to fill her up.

- I will.
- Because you did say you chip in

with some of your petrol ration.

There was at least quarter
of a tank last time I looked.

Besides, I don't have
any plans this evening.

Thought you might be driving
up to Miss Grantley's

to discuss the book.

Miss Grantley is away,
and the tank is,

in fact, almost empty.

But don't worry, I'll just do it
myself, like everything else.

No, no, it's fine.
I'll fill her up.

You know, if you did need
an extra pair of hands tomorrow,

I'm sure I could find some time.

Oh, I wouldn't want to put you out.

- That'd be very good of you, Tris.
- No, it's no trouble.

Well...

Yes, if you're sure, thank you.

But I don't want you breathing
down my neck the whole time.

I'm an experienced vet, you know,

not some bag-carrying lackey.

I shall try to remember.

- Here we go.
- Oh, look at that.

Don't.

So, how long
has she gone away for?

- Who?
- Your lady of the goats.

- She's not my lady.
- [chuckles]

She just asked my opinion
on some of her chapters,

and I was happy to oblige,
that's all.

- Very public-spirited of you.
- Morning, Molly.

- [Molly] Eh up.
- [Tristan] Eh up.

[Siegfried] So this is Barley.
Hello. How are you?

- Very good-natured, aren't you?
- He's a little love.

But breeder said they can get
quite unmanageable

if you don't get
them done early.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Seems perfectly placid to me.

Only I can't take chance
of him turning nasty

if he's around kiddies.

I want to use him for pony rides.

Right, afraid it's the snip for you,
then, Barley, old chap.

[Siegfried] Let's take him out
to the paddock.

Won't take long, will it?

- Er, it shouldn't.
- [metal clanging]

- [Tristan] Bloody hell.
- In theory.

[humming]

[continues humming]

Oh, there you are.

We wondered where you'd gone.

[James continues humming]

- James, can you give me a hand?
- Good morning!

Ooh! Oh, you seem a lot brighter
after a night's sleep.

Well, I couldn't be better.
The sun is shining,

the birds are singing,
and I'm married to

the most beautiful woman
in the world!

Have you been sniffing the
bottles in the dispensary again?

[Jimmy fussing]

Good morrow, young Jimmy,
my handsome wee boy.

Just like his daddy. [laughs]

Er, can you help your beautiful wife
and handsome boy down the steps?

My apologies.
Come on, young Jimmy.

[singsong voice]
Dan Dan, the funny wee man,

washed his face with a frying pan.

[Helen] Daddy's acting daft,
isn't he?

[James chuckles]

[Tristan] Right, now,
quick bit of chloroform

and you won't feel a thing.

Good God, man.
What are you doing?!

The animal will never wake up again.
Look at the size of him.

Eh, it's fine. It's not like
it's an exact science.

Well, that's as may be,
but y-you still have to

calculate an approximate dose

and then administer it
a few drops at a time.

Only if you insist on erring
on the side of caution.

Oh, come on, it's a...
it's basic procedure.

Fine. Do it your way.

[grumbles]

Thank you.

Right. Here we go.

There we are.

Now, Molly, if you'd like to
walk him around

until he begins to feel unsteady?

Come on.

Yes, Molly,
bring him back, would you?

I'd like to administer
a few more drops.

Thank you.

There we are. There we are.

Nice and steady.

I know, I have only myself to blame.

Not all bad, though.

[telephone rings]

Hm.

[dog barking]

Darrowby 2-2-9-7.

Good morning, Mrs Pumphrey.

What a handsome bunch!

- The animals, I mean.
- [laughter]

Won't be a moment.

Er, I'm afraid Mr Herriot's
busy at the moment

in morning surgery.

[bird squawks]

I see. Well, I...

I could ask Mr Farnon
to call round after his visit.

Well... Well, yes, you could.

Mr Herriot does seem to be behind.

You might have a bit of a wait,
though.

Of course.
We'll see you shortly.

Right! Next we have
Mrs Fluffy and Rokesby.

[soft laughter]

My apologies.
Mrs Rokesby and Fluffy.

Wouldn't want to get the two of
you mixed up, now, would we?

Might end up giving you
a worming treatment.

[laughter]

That's odd.

Shouldn't it have kicked in by now?

We've got things
to be getting on with.

He's just, erm,
proving a bit resistant.

Oh, for the love of God,
give it here.

Oh.

That was completely unnecessary!

He'd already had the correct dosage.

And it hadn't had
the slightest effect.

If you had even a modicum
of patience...

[thud]

Well, I reckon that did it.

- Just go and hold his head.
- Mm-hm.

[bird squawks]

Now you mind your P's and Q's,
you hear me?

The same goes for you, too,
Mr Prior.

We don't want Polly
picking up any more rude words.

Right you are, Mr Herriot.

Now, who do we have next?

Ah! Master Tricki,
we meet again.

I'm so sorry to be such a bother.

But you did say I should come back.

No bother at all.
Come on in. Come on in.

It is his teeth, you see.

[exhales] That's better.

It really is unseasonably warm
today, don't you think?

Now, you say there's
a problem with his teeth?

Er, I'm afraid so.
He keeps on pawing at his face.

But yesterday it was a cough.

That's right, but as I also
pointed out...

And tomorrow...

who knows what
it will be, Tricki, eh?

[chuckles]

Erm, Uncle Herriot, Tricki
is clearly experiencing

extreme discomfort
and has been for some time.

Is he really?

Cos he looks
perfectly happy to me.

Just look at the great fur ball.

As dogs go,
he really is quite ridiculous.

- Mr Herriot...
- But I promise you,

he's the healthiest animal
in the world.

He's just a big,
spoilt pudding of a dog.

And you are a very, very silly
woman to worry so much.

Mr Herriot, are you quite well?

"His hair, his size, his mouth,
his lungs,

shews he was nane
o' Scotland's dogs."

- Good heavens.
- "But whalpit some place

far abroad, whare sailors g*ng
to fish for cod."

[Mrs Pumphrey] Erm, you seem to be
rather overheated.

I swear to God, it is positively
tropical in here today!

- James, what are you doing?
- He's delirious.

- "Burning, singing in the sunshine."
- [Mrs Pumphrey] Good heavens.

"Toward the sun
his hands were lifted,

both his palms spread
out against..."

- James!
- Hello there.

How are you?

Oh, right, mind that. Oh.

- Are we going to bed?
- I think that's probably best.

- Excellent!
- Come on. James.

I'm afraid you're all gonna
have to come back tomorrow.

Erm, Mr Herriot is indisposed
at the moment.

Basin of cold water.
As cold as possible.

You'll have to bathe him
to bring down the fever.

And don't worry.
I shall remain with the baby.

My apologies, Mr Dobson.

We were slightly delayed.

- Well, you're here now.
- Morning.

It's good to see you, Mr Farnon.

I heard you were home.

Mr Dobson, you're looking well.

As are you. Egypt, wasn't it?

- That's where you've been?
- That's right.

[Mr Dobson] Well, I never.
All the way to Egypt.

And now here you are
helping out your brother.

You must be glad to have him home.

[Siegfried] Yes, it's a rare treat.

[Tristan] Aw.

[Siegfried]
Now, you're a grand fella.

That's a fine example
of a scuffling horse,

if I'm not mistaken.

[Mr Dobson]
He's a good'un, all right.

Fellow were letting him go

on account of him
buying a new tractor.

More fool him.

Does this paragon have a name?

Algernon.
But we call him Algy.

I thought you could give
him a once-over,

make sure everything's in order.

The fella said he was six year old.

Yes, could be.

And his teeth might need rasping
as they've not been done in a while.

All right, Algy,
let's see what's what.

Must have taken you
a while to get to Egypt.

Boats and trains and whatnot.

Oh, certainly did.
Yeah, we went all around Africa,

then up through the Red Sea
to Suez.

All that travelling round the globe.

It's not for the likes of us,
is it, Mr Farnon?

Where are they sending you next?

He's currently based in Doncaster.

Oh, aye? Well, I've never been
there either.

Well, his heart sounds
good and strong.

Let's have a look at your teeth,
shall we?

Seeing as you're here,
I might have something for you.

- Oh, yes?
- Aye.

- A little welcome-home present.
- [chuckles]

A dental pick would be useful
if you're not too busy.

[floorboards creaking]

"Yesterday upon the stair"...

"I met a man who wasn't there."

"He wasn't there again today."

I think this might be
another bout of brucellosis.

"I wish that man would go away."

James, did you feel
like this last time?

Haven't a clue.

It's over 100 degrees.

Right.
I'm telephoning the doctor.

Aye, call the doctor.

Dr Foster!

# Went to Gloucester
in a shower of rain.

# He stepped in a puddle
right up to his middle.

# And never went there a... #

[inhaling and exhaling sharply]

Of course, one saw it
a lot with the Spanish flu.

The, erm, fever and delirium.

I very much hope it's not that.

[Mrs Pumphrey]
Oh, no, of course not.

I'm sure he'll make
a swift recovery.

[Tricki grunting]

Oh, Tricki, do stop doing that.

You'll scratch yourself.

Summat does seem to be bothering him.

I know.

The poor thing
barely slept at all last night.

I really am rather worried.

Why don't you wait and see Mr Farnon?

- It shouldn't be long now.
- Are you sure?

I wouldn't want to be
a nuisance.

Not at all.

If you'd like to go through
to the sitting room,

I'll bring you a cup of tea,

Okay.

Oh, look.

I do think
he wants to be friends.

[chuckles]

Oh, well, perhaps we could
stay in here,

if we won't be in your way.

Er... No, not at all.

Oh, Helen,
did you speak to the doctor?

He says this type of fever
is very common with brucellosis.

I'm to keep him cool and
comfortable till it breaks.

Did he say
how long it might last?

Anything from a few hours
to a few days.

There's plenty clean flannels
in the linen cupboard.

Thank you.

Do you mind keeping him down here?

Of course not.
You just look after James.

I'll put the kettle on.

[telephone ringing]

Oh, dear.

Oh, no, don't worry.
I'll watch him.

If you're sure you don't mind?

Not in the least.

[ringing continues]

[Tricki whines]

Now, don't you get jealous.

That's it. Good boy.

Good boy.

All done.

You know, you really do
have a way with them.

If you were half as pleasant
with people,

you'd be twice as popular.

Yes, well,
life isn't a popularity contest.

- Aha!
- [Tristan] Mr Dobson.

That's never your legendary
elderflower wine, is it?

The very same.

Well, surely
it's too early in the year.

Aye. It won't be ready
till Christmas.

But these are the last two
from last year,

with compliments from me
and the wife.

No, that's too kind.
I couldn't possibly.

That really is good of you.

Tristan, would you mind walking
Algy back in, please?

- What's the verdict?
- Oh, he's in fine health.

Around six years old,
as you were told.

Possibly going on seven.

So his teeth didn't need
rasping in the end?

- No, they were in good repair.
- Right.

So it weren't that big
of a job, then?

I suppose not.

So, shall we say two shillings?
With the wine, like?

I thought that was a gift.

Aye, but it's still worth a few bob.

It's not like you told me owt
I didn't already know.

Siegfried, have you seen this?

- What's that?
- You've missed something.

Looks like a patch
of sweet itch.

Look. Must have had
a reaction to an insect bite.

- That's not good, is it?
- Not if it's left untreated.

But don't worry.

I have a proprietary injection
that will clear it up.

- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.

I'll only take a second.
But there will be a charge.

Aye. All right then.

[mumbling]


[engine rumbling]

[Helen] Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Just lie quietly.

Yes, sir.

Ready for duty, sir.
Just need my boots.

- [telephone ringing]
- Come on, there's the bell!

Hey, James, James.
It's the... It's the telephone.

[ringing continues]

Try and take a sip of this.

[aeroplane engine roaring]

You're all right.
You're home.

You're here, with me.

[breathing heavily]

It's me.

[continues breathing heavily]

[aeroplane engine roaring]

Still using that proprietary mix,
are you?

- I am.
- You know, they brought out

a new antihistamine.
It's found to be very effective.

Yes, well, I already have
a method that works. Here.

Just saying, if you want to be
on the cutting edge...

Just give him the damn injection.

[thud]

Er...

Is that supposed to happen?

Mr Farnon?

It's... It's all fine.
Everything's fine.

What's going on?

Mr Dobson, I'm terribly sorry,
but it, it, it seems...

- Siegfried.
- Oh, thank God.

Well, I'm sure this treatment
of yours is a good'un.

But I have to say,
it's a bit drastic.

[chuckles nervously]

[man on telephone] Hello? Mrs Hall?

Can you give me one more minute?

Just follow the instructions
on the box.

- Same as always.
- Thank you, Mrs Hall.

Ta-ta, Pippy.

Right. Sorry about that.

No, Mr Farnon's not here
either, I'm afraid.

But he should be back shortly.

[whispering]
I'm sorry to be a bother,

but your pan appears to be bubbling.

Er, of course.

I-I'll be sure to have him call.

[telephone rings]

Good morning. Mr Farnon's
veterinary practice.

Oh, I see.

Of course.

[Tristan] Was it something
in your preparation?

It can't have been.

He was back up on his feet
in a matter of seconds.

- Well, what on earth was it?
- No idea.

Of course, animals do
occasionally go into shock

when they're given an injection.

I've just never seen anything
that dramatic.

Oh, I know.
When old Algy keeled over,

I think my heart actually stopped.

Precisely why one should
always proceed with caution.

Well, it was
a straightforward injection.

One never knows
how an animal will react.

There's nothing
we could have done different.

[engine rattling]

[coughs] That is strong stuff.

What the hell's going on?

You said you were
going to fill her up.

I thought you were going to.

[sighs]

[slurring] Where is he?

Have you seen him?

[Helen] Shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh.

You're a fine navigator.

[aeroplane engine roaring]

You can do this.

I know...

[sobbing]
I know you can do this.

Good man, Banerjee.

Oh, James. James, don't.
Don't.

- Good man.
- Oh...

I should have been with you.

I should have been there.

But they wouldn't let me fly.

I let you down. It's all my fault.

[sobbing]

And I'm so sorry.

Banerjee, I'm so sorry
I let you down.

It's all my fault. I let you down.

- Shh.
- [sobbing]

Shh.

- It's gonna be all right. I promise.
- [sobbing]

[exhales]

[breathing heavily]

Helen?

Yeah, I'm here, James.

I'm here.

Helen.

You're all right.

Come here.

[Tristan]
You know, the quickest route

would be to go across country.

- [Siegfried] Nonsense.
- It's the most direct route.

As the crow flies and all that.

[Siegfried] "Flies" being
the operative word.

We, however, are on foot.

[Tristan] Fine.
Have it your own way.

So come on then, spill the beans.

What beans?

You and the elusive Miss Grantley.

- Oh, for God's sake.
- Oh, come on.

Don't tell me the attraction's
purely literary.

You've been up there far too often.

- Something's clearly going on.
- Nothing is going on.

Hm. Well, if it isn't, it should be.

You've obviously taken
a shine to her.

Here. You want to go cross-country?

Fine. We'll do it your way.

Sounds like a good plan.

That way.

[Siegfried] Argh!

Argh! May I once again
congratulate you

on your superb
navigational skills?

[chuckles]
Oh, stop complaining.

We'll be fine
once we find the track.

Ah! Ah! Ow! Ow!

Don't... Don't pull on it.

You'll... You'll rip it.
[sighs]

Just requires a little bit
of finesse.

Watch this.

- [fabric rips]
- Oh! Argh!

Oh, yes, that's much better.

Sorry.

Argh. You know, that is one good
thing about the desert,

a lot less obstacles.

"Fewer".

Apart from the bloody
great sand dunes, of course.

Yes, these dunes, you observed them

from the window
of the hotel bar, did you?

- I encountered my fair share.
- Really?

Because I was under the impression

that your time in service
had been one long party.

And that's a problem, is it?

I just...
I don't understand you.

I know what w*r is like,
how it changes a man.

Or most men.

But you...

you insist on treating the
whole thing like a huge lark.

That's what all this is
about, isn't it?

You don't think
I've done w*r properly?

What, am I not sufficiently
anguished to your liking?

Don't be ridiculous.
That's not what I meant.

Yes, it is.

You're disappointed
I didn't suffer enough.

You're unbelievable.

God, talk about misery loves company.

Just because I try
and make the best of things,

get out there and have fun,
unlike some people.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- You tell me.

You've been like a bear
with a sore head for days.

If this is all about a woman...

It's nothing to do with a woman.

Well, just do us all a favour

and bloody well ask her out,
will you?

- [fabric rips]
- Oh, oh! Oh, bloody hell!

[Mrs Pumphrey] There were two calls
about repeat prescriptions.

I've made a note of the details.

And I took a message
from Mr Arkwright.

He was a little difficult
to understand,

but I believe he has
a problem with a cow.

- Could it have been a sow?
- Oh, quite possibly.

And I hope I didn't overstep,
but a woman came to the door,

and I explained
that the practice was closed

and she should come back later.

[Mrs Hall] I can't thank you enough,
Mrs Pumphrey.

You've been such an help.

You're more than welcome.

You know, Mr Farnon ought
to be back by now.

I'll just telephone Dobson's
farm, see what's delaying him.

[Jimmy coos]

Oh. [sniffs]

Ah.

Oh.

Bloody marvellous.

Come on.
I'll give you a piggyback.

Oh, don't be absurd.

There's no point in us
both getting wet.

[both laughing]

- Look.
- Hey-o, ducks.

- Wait!
- W-What are you doing?

- We need to go back.
- Where are you... Oh.

- You forgot the wine.
- Forgot the wine.

[Siegfried] Ah! Hey! [laughs]

[Tristan] Ugh! Come on!

[Siegfried laughs]

[Mrs Hall]
Wonder where they've got to.

Mr Dobson said
they'd left an hour ago.

You don't think something's happened?

Something's up.

If they don't get back soon,
I'll have to send out a search party.

[laughs] Oh, dear.

Look, perhaps Tricki and I
should leave you in peace.

He does seem to be
quite a bit better.

Well, only if you're sure.

Oh, Helen. How is he?

Good. He's awake, and he's
asking for tea and toast.

Oh, that's excellent news.

- [Mrs Hall] I'll put the kettle on.
- Hello, you.

Your daddy's feeling better.

So that's good.

Isn't it? [sniffles]

Oh, Helen.

- Sorry.
- [Mrs Hall] No.

[laughs] Sorry. I'm being daft.

Not at all.
It's perfectly understandable.

Oh. [laughs]

I'm being daft. I'm just being daft.

Oh! Ugh.

[Siegfried] It's not that
I wanted you to have suffered.

- Ugh.
- Far from it.

- Are you sure about that?
- I just...

I... I imagined we'd have
more common ground.

[Tristan] Look, I know
that I've been lucky.

[Siegfried] No, I didn't mean...

[Tristan] No, I have. I know that.

And I know that if I go back,
my luck may not hold.

Oh, please, God, let that not be so.

And I know that you
wouldn't actively wish me harm.

- Well, not actively.
- [Chuckles]

I was just looking forward
to you coming home...

...to us.

You know, being able
to talk man to man.

Well, we've never really been
big talkers.

Well, why couldn't we be?!

I mean, I know you'd rather be
down the Drovers with James

and whoever else, but, you know,

just occasionally
it wouldn't k*ll you

to spend an evening at home.

- All right.
- I'm not saying every night.

[Tristan] Well, no, obviously.
[chuckles]

[Siegfried] I just...

I would enjoy your company.

I'd like that, too.

I'd rather not play cribbage, though,
if it's all the same to you.

[both chuckle]

Right, then. I should probably
go down and fetch Jimmy.

Helen, I really am sorry
if I worried you.

James, you were talking to Banerjee.

The lad you took under your wing.

So he was one of the ones
that got shot down.

Him and Hibbert.

They were assigned to another pilot.

What happened to 'em?

Banerjee was badly burned
in the crash.

He was taken
to a specialist hospital,

and he's still there.

[Helen] And Hibbert?

He died on impact.

[Helen] And you blame yourself
for what happened.

Banerjee was a frightened boy.

I talked him into flying.
I persuaded him he was ready.

James, you helped that lad

through the most frightening
time of his life.

But I wasn't there when he needed me.

Because of this...
this stupid illness,

I let him down.
I let them all down.

I'm so sorry.

I didn't know you felt that way.

And here's me...

...thinking this illness
was a blessing.

And it was. Of course it was.

Well, there's a bit more
to it than that.

Isn't there?

I suppose there is.

Helen?

Did I really call Mrs Pumphrey
a very silly woman?

Mm.

[gasps softly]

[chuckles]

Oh, look at all that lovely jam,
Jimmy.

- Very impressive.
- Hm!

Well, I had to make do
with half the sugar,

so it can only keep half as long.

Oh, I doubt that'll be a problem.

Not in a house full of men.

My Charles has always had
such a sweet tooth.

I think that's
where Tricki gets it from.

I did feel so very lucky, you know,

to come safely through the last w*r,
and then...

...Charles got ill,

and, er... well, just like that,

everything can turn on
a sixpence, can't it?

Yes.

Yes, it can.

Do you think we should try
some of this?

Just to make sure
I'm not poisoning folk.

Mmm.

How's that?

- Oh.
- Is that tasty?

[Tricki whines]

I was going to ask her to dinner.

Miss Grantley.

I knew it.

So why didn't you?

She asked me to read
a few chapters of her book,

said she was interested
in my thoughts.

Oh, it's an improvement
on showing you her etchings.

So I offered
some constructive criticism.

Oh, no.

No, it was mostly
just grammatical errors,

the occasional dangling
participle, that sort of thing.

And, erm...
she wasn't terribly receptive.

We had a robust discussion,
and, erm...

Well, we haven't spoken since.

What, so she hasn't gone away?

She may have.

Or that may just be the excuse

her charwoman has been told
to give me.

- [laughs]
- It's not funny.

No, no, no, it's really not.

But it's also not the end
of the world.

And it's not like you
to give up at the first hurdle.

Yes, well, I've read the rest
of her memoir now.

It's full of tales of travelling
through the valleys

of the assassins

and some sort of romantic
liaison with an Arabian guide.

- So?
- So it's all a very far cry

from Darrowby.
I doubt she'd even be interested.

[sighs] You do realise
you're forgetting

the most important thing
that we have in common.

And what's that?

Our devastating effect
on the opposite sex.

- Oh, please.
- It's true.

I learnt everything I know
from watching you.

The diffident charm followed
by a flash of devastating wit.

Oh, utter rubbish.

Ladies of a certain age

find you completely irresistible.

Well, thank you for that
damningly faint praise.

[chuckles]

[Siegfried] Mm.

Walk in a straight line, man.

I assure you,
I'm walking perfectly straight.

Then why do you keep
banging into me?

Oh. Good afternoon.

Afternoon, Mr Farnon.

[Siegfried] Might I remind you
that when I was at the AVC,

I was known
for my imperviousness to drink.

I could perform any sobriety test
they cared to set.

Always passed
with flying covers... colours.

What kind of sobriety test?

Mrs Pumphrey,
I really can't apologise enough.

My behaviour was
completely inappropriate,

and, as I understand it,
quite outrageous.

Oh, please, Mr Herriot,
let's say no more about it.

You were delirious.

That's extremely good of you.

[chuckles] Now, I really
must be going home.

- Come along. Tricki.
- [Tricki grunts]

Oh, look, he's doing it again.

I thought he'd stopped.

[James] Is that what
he was doing before?

- Yes, exactly that.
- May I?

Of course.

Come here, Tricki, lad.
That's it.

Would you mind holding him,
Mrs Pumphrey?

Ah. Sorry, Tricki.

I just need to...

- I don't believe it.
- Mm?

What's wrong?

There's something
stuck between his teeth.

I didn't see it before.

Hang on.
I nearly got it.

Ah.

It looks like
a tiny chicken bone.

Oh, Tricki.
You naughty thing.

Francois said he'd been sniffing
around the kitchen.

He must have found
the chicken carcass.

That would explain it.

You see, this is what happens
when one cuts down on treats.

The poor thing was clearly starving.

- [metal clattering]
- Oh!

- [Tristan laughs]
- [Siegfried] Look at you.

[Tristan] You show me
how it's done, then.

[Siegfried] Watch and learn.

Head back.

It's a question of concentration.

- Concentration, absolutely.
- And keeping one's focus.

Come on then. What's the poem?

- "'Twas brillig..."
- Oh, yes!

"And the slithy toves
did gyre and gimble in the wabe."

"All mimsy were the borogoves."

- Good evening, Mr Farnon.
- Oh!

Oh, Mrs Pumphrey, good evening.

Lewis Carroll, if I'm not mistaken.

Yes, I was just doing
a short, erm, recitation.

A little one.

Please don't stop on my account.

I-I-I don't remember the rest of it.

No, of course
you couldn't remember it.

"All mimsy were the borogoves
and the..."

[Siegfried and Mrs Pumphrey]
"...the mome raths outgrabe."

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son.
The jaws that bite,

the claws that catch."

[Siegfried and Tristan]
"Beware the Jubjub bird..."

They're all as puddled as each other.

"...and shun the frumious
Bandersnatch!"

Whoa!

[laughter]

[James] That's your godfather, Jimmy.

You absolute sausage!

[laughter]

[closing theme music playing]