02x01 - I Wanna Be Your Dog

[bunniefuu]

A man thinks twice
before picking up the phone

to Kat McAllister.

That's a heavy f*cking phone.

♪ Dramatic music ♪

I'm assuming you've heard
of the Harrigans.

Well, I'm a representative
of said family.

Here's what happens
when you go behind my back.

He stabbed up another kid in a club.

[Richie] My boy didn't come home.

You're a mad c**t, Eddie.

Unless you bring back

my boy here tonight,

I'm gonna descend on the Cotswolds...

Where's Tommy?

...like a plague of f*cking locusts.

- [yells]
- You've started a w*r.

Was it a mistake? What we did?

[Maeve] We've got everyone
exactly where we want them.

[Kevin] Richie's coming for all of us.

We're at w*r!

We're gonna take
those f*ck out one by one.

♪

[Kevin] Richie's gonna do 'em both.

[Harry] I need to speak to Kat.
I need a favor.

- [chainsaw buzzing]
- [screaming]

- You owe me.
- [Gina] We could run away.

Look me in the eyes
and tell me you like your life.

It's not always about that.

[Tattersall] The way
you break a crime family:

make friends with their foe.

- Armed police!
- [murmurs]

First-class, old-school stitch-up.

[camera clicks]

Gina's shagging Eddie.

[Maeve] You are the king,

and I am the queen.

- But you're my grandmother.
- No, I'm not.

Don't forget who you belong to.

[Kevin] I'm done

pretending I respect you.

- Are you with me?
- I work for the Harrigans.

- The Harrigans say hello.
- [silenced g*nsh*t]

Big mistake.

We will see.

Everything's gonna be different now.

I said f*ck off!

- Oh, f*ck.
- [g*n racks]

[g*nsh*t echoes]

[wind whistling]

[bell ringing]

[announcer] And they're off!

[announcer speaking indistinctly]

[crowd cheering]

[Maeve] "Ballycare Moon.
Golden Stakes. Ten to one."

That's our boy.

I told you, Maeve.

We're not here to gamble.

Who said anything about gambling?

[singsongy] The fix is in.

- [chuckles]
- Says who?

[Maeve] Cousin Mickey.

I tried to tell you this morning,

but you were too busy
fixing your cravat.

I mean, it's the dogs, man.
It's not f*cking Ascot.

What's the matter,
is your top hat in the wash?

[laughing]

Was that you snorting?

Who's this c**t?

Conrad, this is my nephew Fergus.

You met him at the house.
Just started working with us.

Still learning the ropes,

- aren't you, Fergus?
- Yeah.

Ask Fergus if he likes his ba*ls.

- Fergus, do you like your ba*ls?
- Yes, Uncle Paul.

Yes, Conrad, Fergus likes his ba*ls.

Hmm. Any more of that
and I'll like 'em, too.

On my f*cking mantelpiece.

[announcer commentating indistinctly]

[crowd cheering]

[doors open]

Ah.

Mr. and Mrs. Harrigan.

Welcome.

I thought this was a private meeting.

Well, you bring friends,
we bring friends.

♪ Low, tense music ♪

[Conrad] I brought my wife, my driver,

some silly c**t to order the drinks,

and you brought
a whole f*cking football team.

- [chuckles]
- [murmurs]

Um, I'll ha... I'll have a nice pint

and a whiskey, two rocks.

- Irish whiskey.
- [Dean] Of course.

- We'll bring them over to you.
- [chuckles]

♪

Where's Gakbu?

He couldn't make it.

Really, now?

Four weeks back,

I cut Gakbu in on an
eight-figure deal on the brown.

♪

My compliments.

Now?

I'm talking to the monkey,
not the organ grinder.

[quietly] And here we go.

[Conrad] I brought this deal to Gakbu.

Gakbu agreed on the weight
and the numbers.

And now he thinks it's okay
to send his short-arsed,

bad-breathed brother to close the deal?

That it?

[chuckles]

I want 50% on the first shipment

and Gakbu to pay some f*cking respect,

or I'll show him
a bag of Turkish testicles.

Capeesh?

Yeah. Okay.

It's a bit odd, Mr. Harrigan.

Considering the fact
that the first shipment's

already been sent through.

Say that again. What?

Yeah. The first shipment.

It's already been bought and paid for.

By who?

Don't want to count it?

I believe a partnership
is built on trust.

Plus, I'm sure you heard what
happened to our last partners

when they got cute with us.

- [chuckles softly]
- [chuckles]

Well, this is very odd.

Very odd indeed.

- How is it?
- Yeah.

You tell me now.

Considering the fact
that you're the, uh...

head of the family and all.

[Gakbu] And you're sure

your father is not a problem?

'Cause when the time came
for my baba... father...

to step aside,

ooh,

it got ugly.

Let me worry about Conrad.

All right?

Anyway, cheers.

And by the way,
here's my advice to you.

Friend-to-friend, of course.

- Yeah, crack on.
- Yeah, that son of yours

is making you look like
a sad, obsolete clown.

Ah. [chuckling]

- [chuckles softly]
- Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, and you look like a c**t.

At least you're a funny c**t.
[laughing]

[chuckles]

[sniffs]

Yeah.

Excuse me.

Yeah.

[sucks teeth]

Paul.

Conrad.

I'm going for a piss.

My cousin, Mickey,
has a half-cousin, Dougal,

and Dougal breeds greyhounds
over there in County Louth.

So, here's how it works.

♪ Intriguing music ♪

[growling]

Last Monday,

Dougal WhatsApps Mickey.

He says, "I've got a nailed-on ringer

in the Golden Stakes."

Ballycare Moon.

♪

No one's seen him run,
so it's his first trip.

[indistinct announcement]

So no one knows
he's a f*cking b*llet. [laughs]

[growling]

The Harrigans have got
a couple of hundred tame punters

up and down the land.

[indistinct chatter]

Glasgow, Rochdale,

Watford, Plymouth.

Who, three minutes ago,

walked into Ladbrokes
and stuck a monkey

on Ballycare Moon

at tens.

Paul. Give me my g*n.

Conrad, is this a good idea though?

It's just that there's about a
dozen Turkish delights out there

and they're all gonna be armed
to the f*cking teeth.

That's why I want your g*n, too.

Paddy hikes the odds,
but it's too late.

[announcer speaking indistinctly]

So, 500 times 200 times ten...

Let me make you rich, lads.

...that's a million quid.

Come on, you f*ck!

- [announcer] And they're off!
- And they're off!

- Paul!
- Okay.

[panting]

Don't f*ck me around.

[growling]

What am I gonna use?

[singsongy] There he goes.

Your g*n is in the crack
of your nephew's arse.

[crowd cheering]

Look at that c**t go.

[growling]

[laughs]

We have a winner!

[laughing]

Ah, congratulations, Maeve.
There you go now.

Mwah.

We're on, babe.

Hmm?

Luca.

Conrad.

I've reconsidered my last statement.

Hmm.

You're not as funny
as I thought you were.

[grunting]

[men shouting]

[screaming]

[g*nsh*t]

♪ low, tense music ♪

[high-pitched ringing]

We are the Harrigans!

Huh?

- You don't know the name?!
- [man gurgling]

Then f*cking google us!

Then decide what you saw today!

♪ "Starburster"
by Fontaines D.C. playing ♪

You've been warned!

♪ It may feel bad ♪

♪ It may feel bad ♪

♪ I wanna see you alone,
I wanna sharp the stone ♪

♪ I wanna bounce the bone,
I wanna mess with it ♪

♪ I wanna lay the Deville,
the whole crew on the sill ♪

♪ I want the preacher and pill,
I wanna bless with it ♪

♪ I wanna head to a mass
and get cast in it ♪

♪ That sh*t's funnier
than any A-class, innit? ♪

♪ I wanna talk with the clown
who has apologies down ♪

♪ Pay him 300 pounds
to take a class in it ♪

♪ I wanna bite the phone,
I wanna bleed the tone ♪

♪ I wanna see you alone,
alone, alone, lone ♪

♪ I wanna strait the shark
and find me somewhere to park ♪

♪ Like the light when it's dark,
it's dark, it's dark, dark ♪

♪ A few stars about make it feel
like peace in a way ♪

♪ A complimentary round ♪

♪ Constellation got a twist in it ♪

♪ For a GPO and all the hits in it ♪

♪ I'm gonna hit your business ♪

♪ If it's momentary blissness ♪

♪ I'm gonna hit your business
if it's momentary blissness ♪

♪ I'm gonna hit your business
if it's momentary blissness ♪

[Emily] So, why are you here?

- [Harry] What, well...
- Well...

[stammers, sighs] No, you...

- No, you can go. No, go on.
- Sorry. Sorry.

It's all right. Go on.

[Jan] Okay.

So, recently, Harry and I...

...we've been...

going through a bit of a rough patch.

- [grunts]
- Armed police!

I'll give you a call, babe.

Harry's been extremely busy with work.

[cries loudly]

[groaning]

And we had to move house.

And what with one thing and another...

- Are we in danger?
- No. No.

And it was getting harder and harder

to organize time together.

You know, like, quality time.

- Right. I've got to go.
- I've got to go.

I'll be back before dinner.

[sighs]

Basically, we began to lose touch.

And then, a few months ago,

matters came to a head.

What happened?

Jan stabbed me in the chest.

It... it was an accident.

And it looked worse
than it, than it was.

Now it only hurts when I laugh.

Did you tell Gina?

No. Well, we-we told her that
I'd fallen on some railings.

And then I told her the truth.

That you'd stabbed her father?

Yeah.

By accident?

Yeah.

How did she react?

She left.

Where is she now?

We're looking for her.

Did she leave a note?

- Mm, no.
- [Jan] Yeah.

What did it say?

It said,

"Mum, you saw a way out.

There's another one.

It's called a door.

Love, Gina.

P.S.

I wish you'd k*lled the c**t."

[phone vibrating]

Sorry, I've got to take this.

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

Paul.

Is it urgent?

[Paul] Uh, yes, it's f*cking urgent.

Conrad's off the f*cking reserve.

- Where are you?
- Green Park Dogs.

At the f*cking meeting.

What meeting?

♪ Low, tense music ♪

Um, I'm-I'm really sorry. I have to go.

I have to go.

[door opens]

[engine revving]

[siren wailing]

Ah, DCI Kavanagh,
we've been expecting you.

- Please.
- Yeah.

Right. Show me where we're going.

We have some of the bar staff.
There was a private function on.

[Harry] Stadium feed
the last four hours.

Pull it before it mirrors
to the council servers, yeah.

Use the ghost key, wipe the backups.

No footprint.

Chain of custody perfect.

Exhibit codes match line for line.

No bubbles, no smudges.

- [Finch] Yeah, I've got it.
- Finch.

Tell me you're on top of this, yeah?

Leave it to me.

All right. Call me later.

[Bella] We're looking
for a firm who understands

the unique pressures
on organizations like ours.

The kind that are
under constant scrutiny.

What we need is strategic protection.

Someone who can shield
our operations, our assets,

our legacy from risk

while keeping exposure
to an absolute minimum.

Discreet.

Loyal.

Unflinching.

We see our role as
more than just legal counsel.

What we offer is

- strategic defense...
- [phone vibrating]

...the kind that safeguards leadership,

preserves legacy and ensures resilience

when the pressure's at its greatest.

It sounds like we're all on
exactly the same page.

Sorry, excuse me.

Of course.

[Bella] Kev, what's happened?

[Kevin] What's happened?

Conrad just gunned down Luca Ruzgar

and half his family in broad daylight.

Okay. Stay there. I'm coming home.

Leave the driver. Get a cab.

It's not safe.

[Conrad screaming] Jesus Christ!

[groaning loudly]

[Maeve] Stop moving, man.

God, you're wriggling about
like a girl.

[muffled yelling]

Wait. So you didn't even know?

Paul, if I'd have known,
I'd have been there.

And you're wriggling around
like a f*cking wh*re!

- Well, you'd know, wouldn't you?
- [pained groaning]

It's called "organized crime," Harry.

The clue's in the title.

- Got it.
- [muffled groan]

- [chuckling]
- You're a godsend, Maeve.

You're a godsend.

Communication. Chain of command.

This whole show is shot to sh*t.

Seriously, man.
It's like a f*cking clusterfuck.

I love you like a tr*mp loves paraffin.

- Well, give us a kiss then.
- Oh.

[both] Mmm.

- [chuckles]
- Little drop for my friend here.

Oh, f*ck me!

I'm getting... well, I'm not getting,

but Fergus is getting scared.

Good talk.

- Did you see that coming?
- [door closes]

What?

The bloodbath.

I've seen some gunfights in my time.

That was like a f*cking Slip 'N Slide.

No. I mean, yes and no.

No, I didn't see it coming.

But that's...
kind of the rule around here.

You don't see it coming, look out,

'cause 99 times out of 100,
it f*cking is.

The stadium, um, CCTVs
have been pulled.

DVRs, backups... all scrubbed.

So assuming that no one from
the carvery staff comes forward,

I think that's probably about
as clean as you can make it.

As far as London gangland killings go,

this is a pretty significant one.

Conrad...

wh-why didn't I know
you were meeting Gakbu?

Well, it turns out I f*cking wasn't.

Because Gakbu was meeting my lousy,

f*cking bucket of pig spunk son.

Christ, I curse the day
I ever climbed on his ma.

Climbed on whose ma?

Well, hello, Harry.

Oh. [chuckles]

You missed a classic.

You know, the lead flying.

Blood everywhere. [laughs]

Proper f*cking Bonnie and Clyde.

[Maeve laughing]

Where were you?

Just kidding. [chuckles]

Now, don't go blaming Conrad.

It was my idea not to tell you
about the meeting.

And-and why was that?

Well, now, let me explain.

Considering the present difficulties

between Conrad and Kevin

and specifically regarding
your closeness to the latter,

I deemed it safest to keep
certain operational details

on a strictly need-to-know basis.

[Conrad] It was a simple sit.

Cross the T's and dot the I's.

And how did that work out for you?

[mutters]

May I speak plainly?

The w*r with Richie.

[silenced g*nsh*t]

[chuckles softly]

Archie.

♪ Foreboding music ♪

- Brendan.
- [groaning]

O'Hara.

Eddie, AWOL.

Seraphina, alienated.

Kevin and Conrad
on the brink of civil w*r.

This family is in a death spiral.

We've lost fentanyl.

Now heroin is swinging in the breeze.

We are surrounded by sharks,
ripe for the picking.

And if you ask me...

...it's already begun.

What do you mean?

You offered Gakbu generational wealth,

and he turned round and went to Kevin.

I'm sorry, but Kevin
doesn't have the strength

or the contacts to run an operation.

And if Kevin doesn't know that,
Gakbu does.

So why did Gakbu do it?

Perhaps there is someone

with an interest
in splitting this family

into many small pieces,
as many as they can,

and then eating them one by one.

For months, you've been waiting for...

for Kat to-to make her move.

And instead of keeping our powder dry,

we've started a w*r.

With our own allies.

Well...

Oh, I'm shattered.

Mm.

Good night, Harry.

And don't think I don't appreciate

everything that you're doing for us.

Especially, you know,
being caught in the middle

and all that.

But you know what they say...

you can't ride two horses
with one arse.

It's time to pick a pony.

Mm.

Good night.

Good night, Maeve.

So...

[clears throat]

Are you suggesting that Kat McAllister

is running Gakbu?

Why wait?

I would. I-I would send someone in

to pour poison into the wound.

'Cause that's what we are, Conrad.

We're-we're wounded.

♪ Foreboding music ♪

Mm.

What is it you suggest I do?

- Speak to Kevin.
- Kevin?

- No f*cking way.
- Well, you don't have a choice.

Kevin betrayed me!

f*cking hell, I wiped his arse,
for Christ's sake.

[quietly] No, you didn't.

Thank you for your counsel, Harry.

Okay?

Take care of Gakbu.

That's your order.

Jolly good.

Conrad.

You are making a mistake.

Slainte.

[sighs]

♪ low, tense music ♪

- [phones ringing]
- [busy chatter]

[desk sergeant] Ma'am? A witness

has just arrived from the dog track.

[speaking inaudibly]

Zosia, where are we
with Paul's Defender?

It was running on cloned plates.

If ANPR queries the data,
it shows routine traffic.

So there's no link to the dog track.

Take him to Interview Room 5.

We'll be right there.

♪

What about the phones?

They were all on burners.

At the time of the sh**ting,

they were all in the Princess
of Shoreditch using Wi-Fi,

- buying drinks.
- Good.

Right, um...

there's something I need you to do.

Go on. sh**t.

I need you to find Gina.

Mm-hmm.

[Dean] I mean,
there were so many shots.

[door closes]

Plates smashing, people screaming.

They threatened us.

Said anyone who comes forward is dead.

Can you describe the sh**ter?

I don't have to.

They told us who they were.

♪

[phone vibrating]

[TV newscast playing quietly]

Go on, mate.

[Finch] We've got a problem.

One of the waiters has sung to Tempest.

He gave up Conrad as the main sh**ter.

- How long have we got?
- It's already with the CPS.

My guess is 12, 24 hours tops.

Well, do you have
the waiter's name or address

or anything like that?

Sending it to you now.

[egg cracks]

[sizzling]

[footsteps approaching]

[wolf whistles]

[chuckles] Jesus, look at you, woman,

all gussied up there.

[chuckles]

- That's enough of that.
- [chuckles softly]

Eh?

- Where are you going?
- [keys jangling]

Going to London.

I made you eggs.

Oh.

- All right.
- Hmm?

I'll eat your lovely eggs.

Ah. Good woman.

[Maeve] Get it right on the toast.

That's perfect.

Now, if you're going up
to London, take Paul.

I'm a big girl.
I can take care of myself.

Maeve.

It's not safe.

- Get off, mutt! Get off!
- [dog growling]

Get off! Good boy.

- Good doggy. Good dog.
- [dog panting]

Little runt. f*cking hell.

[Conrad] Hey, you.

It's a guard dog, not a f*cking toy.

Stop arsing around.

Where's your uncle?

Uh, I'm... not sure.

He's-he's around here somewhere.

All right. Drive my wife up to London.

What the f*ck are you doing?

I said leave the dog behind now.
[whistles]

[chuckles softly] Mwah.

Other side. I can drive a f*cking car.

[gentle classical music playing]

So...

- Fergus, is it?
- Yes.

How are you enjoying
your first week on the job?

Hmm?

Well, Mrs. Harrigan, it's, um...

...it's very interesting.

You'll find the Harrigans
to be very fair employers.

Keep your nose clean, your mouth shut.

Follow orders, do as you're told.

- You'll be fine.
- Definitely.

Oh, uh...

And you can start
by getting out of the car.

You said follow orders.

Yes, I did.

Well, Conrad gave me an order.

Yes, he did.
And I'm giving you another.

[chuckles nervously]

[stammers] He'll m*rder me.

Mm. Nevertheless.

[sighs] Please, Ms. Harrigan,
I-I can't...

I said get out of
the f*cking car, you c**t.

Right.

- Go on.
- Right.

- Quick.
- [stammers]

[gentle classical music continues]

♪ suspenseful music ♪

[Zosia] Harry, Maeve just left.

Okay, well, stay with her, yeah?

- Okay.
- I've got to go.

[sighs]

Listen, Jan, about yesterday...

Can you check your WhatsApp,
please, Harry?

[sniffs]

All right, what's this, then?

For 18 years,
I've asked you to put us first.

I've begged. I've fought.

I can't keep living as a ghost,
watching you bow to men

who'd never bleed for you
the way I have.

I know what it'd mean to stay.

Losing myself.

Seeing Gina carry the weight
of a father she can't respect.

♪ Somber music ♪

Okay. Um...

Listen.

We-we need to discuss this.

It's too late, Harry.

I know you love me.
I know you love Gina.

But it's not enough.

You, Harry, are not enough.

[phone vibrating]

Don't you need to get that?

[phone continues vibrating]

♪ tense music ♪

You all right, Dean?

Yeah, I'm all right. Who are you?

I'm here to give you a lift.

- That your bike?
- Yeah.

Put it in the back of my van.

- Uh...
- Yeah, come on, Dean.

You've seen what one of these
can do. Let's go.

Let's get that
in the back of my van. Go on.

♪

All the way in. Go on.

Lovely. Thank you.

Sit yourself down in the corner, yeah?

I don't want you to get hurt.

Eddie.

Eddie. Sit down, love.

- All right, Maeve?
- I've ordered for you.

Lovely.

Now, I'm warning you.

It's not a patch on mine.

The sausage tastes like
an old tr*mp's c*ck.

- Hmm.
- Don't get me started

on the colcannon.

That's "bubble and squeak"
to you, love.

What's this?

Your cut.

Thirty grand.

- I like your style.
- [chuckles]

Old-school.

So, wait.

Eddie's... Eddie's what?

- Eddie's Kevin's son.
- Mm.

But he's not. He's actually Conrad's.

- f*ck off.
- Mm-hmm.

We're on the up-and-up, Maeve.

These YouTubers are a pack of geeks.

- Yo, yo, yo, the king is back.
- [rap music playing]

All right? Back in his palace.

Now, galdem, stop it.
Stop capping, all right?

'Cause I see the DMs.

They're the same c**ts
you'd bog-wash at school.

All right, and tomorrow's drop is...

- Mum, what?
- Sorry, babe.

There's someone at the door for ya.

What's up?

This is random, but I'm a big fan.

Oh, yeah? No way.

Is that really your motor?

Jump in there, darling.

Wow.

It is Lambo-tastic in here.

Who the f*ck are you?

Gina's good news, Maeve.
She's talented.

We're your new
business partners, Jason.

You make 300 grand a month, right?

We only want 10%.

And for that,
you will get 24-7 protection

from Roger and Rodway.

She makes the contacts,
sets them up. She's a natural.

[sighs]

[Maeve] Gina Da Souza's

- nothing but a little wh*re.
- [frustrated grunt]

My plans for you are big, Eddie.

You don't want any complications
snagging you up along the way.

Now, you listen carefully
because I've got

something big for you.

It's a step up the ladder.

Do you want to step up the ladder?

Yes.

Good.

So, next time we meet,
I want two things.

I want 50 grand

and Gina Da Souza
in the f*cking rearview mirror.

Do I make myself clear?

[train passing in distance]

Help!

Help me!

- Dean?
- [inhales sharply]

This hasn't exactly been a wonderful



I'm under, I'm under a lot of pressure,

personal and, uh, work.

And while I am a professional,
everyone has a breaking point.

You really, really don't want
that point to be now.

♪ Tense music ♪

So do yourself a favor,

shut the f*ck up.

Just listen.

- Yeah?
- Yes.

Good.

[sniffs]

Last night,

you went to the police

and you made a statement,

a statement regarding
the Harrigan family.

You were warned,
you were warned not to do this.

I'm sorry.

And I appreciate that, thank you.

But I'm afraid, you know,
the people that I work for...

...the Harrigans, they're not,

they're not gonna be that interested...

...in "sorry."

They, and therefore I,
am interested in you

getting on your bike, yeah,

and pedaling very, very quickly
back to said police station

and retracting your statement.

All right?

Mm.

Yeah?

Here's your story, yeah?
[clears throat]

You were coerced,

intimidated, threatened.

You were coerced to make that statement

by this man.

Here you go.

Look, I-I just...

Shh. Can you read that?

[sniffles]

"Gakbu Ruzgar."

Say it.

Gakbu Ruzgar.

Good. Put that in your pocket.

Now, it's noon.

- Yes.
- Okay.

You have until midnight.

That's fair, isn't it?

Now, if you fail in your task,

we're gonna be right back here.

Right here, yeah?

[sniffles] And put it this way, Dean.

When we're finished with you,

you won't be needing
that bicycle, will you?

'Cause who needs a bicycle

when you've got
a pair of f*cking wings?

♪

All right. Up you get.

Give us your bike.

Thank you.

All right.

f*ck off.

[sniffs]

Dean.

You got 12 hours.

Dean, you said you wanted
to change your statement.

Yes.

[phone vibrating]

Zosia.

Uh, Maeve just left the cafe

in Tottenham Hale, and you'll
never guess who she's with.

Taxi.

Follow him.

[engine starts]

♪ suspenseful music ♪

That is a nice sofa.

Bella.

She comes up here, does she?

Not if she can help it, no.

[grunts softly]

Where do you want to start?

[sighs] Well, Gakbu called.

He's declared w*r on the Harrigans.

It's not a huge surprise,
given half his family

are in body bags
down at Poplar Public Mortuary.

f*cking mad b*stard.

Gakbu's not stupid.

He's supersmart.

That's why Conrad chose him.

He... he did the deal with Conrad,

agreed the weight, the numbers.

It's the first shipment,
and he walks clean past Conrad,

he comes to you.

Okay.

What I'm saying is,

he came to you because
I think someone told him to.

In order to drive a wedge
between you and your dad.

[scoffs] I see.

Well, if you ask me,

I think your theory's
pretty f*cking insulting.

It's not an insult. It's my instinct.

Harry...

I love you.

I asked you to come in with me.
You turned me down.

Look, I've told you...

No, I know, I know the reasons.

But as far as I'm concerned...

We're about to be annihilated, Kevin.

Kat McAllister.

She's gonna eat us piece by piece.

Well, thanks for the heads-up.

But I can look after myself.

How's Jan?

She wants a divorce.

She's thrown you out?

This morning.

Where you sleeping?

On your new couch.

[chuckles softly]

S-Some hotel.
I don't f*cking know, mate.

I tell you what, right now,

my focus isn't where I'm sleeping, Kev.

Hmm.

What are we gonna do about the Ruzgars?

The Turkish aren't a problem, Kev.

♪ Tense music ♪

Kat McAllister isn't Richie Stevenson.

Richie had, you know,
skill, resources, guile.

And he had tons of experience
and a handy mob, but...

Kat McAllister's mob

has eight trillion in cash

and the world's
biggest nuclear arsenal.

[university dean]
And now it is my great pleasure

to welcome the newly appointed

United States Ambassador
to the Court of St. James's,

Dr. Katherine Patricia McAllister.

[applause]

♪ intriguing music ♪

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, Honorable Dean,

Madam Praelector, esteemed guests.

It was Joseph Kennedy Sr.,
a fellow Irish American,

who in 1938 stood on this very stage

as the newly appointed U.S. ambassador.

Like him, I was born
and brought up in Boston.

Like him,

I have merely made the voyage
in the reverse direction.

You may recall
that the citizens of Boston

once gave a tea party
for some of your compatriots.

Permit me to express

my appreciation for the handsome return

that you have made me.

I promise to let
my fellow Bostonians know

how generously their earlier
hospitality has been repaid.

[applause]

[Kat] So you're the b*stard?

I'm a Harrigan. We're all b*stards.

And you're the biggest?

I'm the smartest.

Do you love your father?

Very much.

So he knows you're here?

No.

Why ever not?

'Cause there's something else
he doesn't know.

And what's that?

His time is over.

Dad's had North London
in a headlock since the '90s.

Nothing lasts forever.

It's time for change.

- [gentle piano music playing]
- [quiet chatter]

And what about Harry?

Which way does he think
the wind is blowing?

Harry plays his cards close.

But why else would he go to such
lengths to save me in Antwerp?

Hmm.

Okay, so you want me to use my, um,

my connections, wealth,
power, expertise, experience,

to put your ambitious a*s
on the throne.

First, I need to establish whether

the doting daughter has
the ba*ls to f*ck daddy over.

If she does,
then maybe we're in business.

If she doesn't, then we're not.

What do you want?

Half of all Harrigan revenue,
across the board,

five years, and then you're free.

Three years.

I don't think you heard me.
I said five.

Four.

This isn't some
pissant diamond auction.

What leverage do you have?

About as much as you have
other options.

You tried Harry, didn't work.

I'm the next cab off the rank.

I'll play ball for four.

Four it is.

Anyone calls you,

Harry, Conrad, anyone,
you call that number,

and you tell the person
on the other end

exactly what was said, word for word.

Will you do that?

I said, will you do that?

Am I about to be micromanaged here?

I can handle my part.

Don't f*ck with me.

You want to play
in the f*cking big league?

Honey, you're here. You're up to bat.

So what's it gonna be, big b*stard?

If they call, I'll let you know.

Good. Now leave.

[man] This way.

[exhales]

Tattersall.

Pleasure to meet you.

May I?

You have one minute.

[sighs]

Firstly, can I say how very much
I enjoyed your speech?

It's your minute.

[chuckles]

Joseph Kennedy was a pirate.

He came to these shores
to build a w*r chest

to finance his family's
political ambitions.

He broke bread
with every Mafia boss in London.

And through favors, coercion, guile,

made alliances with some of
the most nefarious villains

London's ever seen.

It's no secret that you,
Ms. McAllister,

are the scion of
a storied and infamous family

of Boston mobsters.



[chuckles]

You've come here
to make a billion pounds,

clear off back home with the treasure.

I can help you to do that.

Now, given your ambassadorial status,

you can't exactly be
rubbing shoulders with villains,

looking under every rock
to find out what's what.

No.

What you need is a paladin,

a brave knight
to ride into battle for you.

[chuckles softly]

Queen Elizabeth had Francis Drake.

And I have you.

[chuckles]

Oh, good heavens, no.

No, I'm no more a paladin

than Gakbu Ruzgar is.

No, I'm a...

a facilitator, a lowly middleman,

who, for a fee, puts people together.

And for that fee,
I'll find you your paladin,

an upcoming criminal
as smart, ruthless,

cunning and violent
as your illustrious forebears.

In five years' time,

this man will run London
with your help.

And as such, you will own him.

The Harrigans will be consigned

to the dustbin of history,
mere footnotes.

You'll have your treasure,
and life goes on.

[inhales sharply]

Good evening, Ms. McAllister.

[gentle piano music swells]

[breathes deeply]

[radio announcer speaking indistinctly]

[timer beeping]

[beeping stops]

[sniffs]

[pensive classical music playing]

[sighs]

[train passing]

- All right.
- Thank you very much.

Cheers, mate.

[car door unlocks]

[sniffs]

[pensive classical music
continues over speakers]

- [dog barking in distance]
- [birds calling]

[speaking Turkish]

[pensive classical music
continues over speakers]

♪ ethereal classical music ♪

[groans]

[mutters]

[grunting]

[groaning]

[coughing]

[groaning]

Give me the name I want to hear, yeah?

And I won't go inside, all right?

[groans]

Kat McAllister.

[grunts]

[phone vibrating]

♪ suspenseful music ♪

Zosia.

We found her.

♪

[rap music playing over speakers]

[playful chatter]

[rap music growing louder]

[video game sound effects]

[rap music fading]

♪ "T-Pain" by Pete & Bas playing ♪

[Tattersall]
What you need is a paladin,

a brave knight
to ride into battle for you.

Hello, Frankie.

[sizzling]

Start talking, copper.

♪ I spin fellas,
my swing quicker than Federer ♪

♪ I serve packet, they
bounce back on the regular ♪

♪ And I'm-a tell a hussie,
"Sing for me, T-Pain" ♪

♪ Your mama's hooked on
the packs I been selling her ♪

♪ I click hammers and bang 'em
and let my nuts hang ♪

♪ I fill his head with
the lead like a mukbang ♪

♪ The magazine
make me lean when I walk ♪

♪ And the drumstick'll make
an head bang like a punk band ♪

♪ Hop in a cab
and banging me crossword, uh ♪

♪ I'm heading to west and
I'm banging a posh bird, uh ♪

♪ A couple of cans and a puff
on me death stick, uh ♪

♪ A click of me fingers,
he's cutting me kofte ♪

♪ Ringing the bow bells,
bringing the waps out ♪

♪ I'm flinging the dry food,
bringing the cats out ♪

♪