01x04 - Time Flies

[bunniefuu]

I do solemnly swear that everything

I am about to tell you is true.

A spool of weirdness from

another dimension turned my

hometown into the center of

weirdness for the entire universe.

Don't believe me? Just watch.

Okay, I'll admit it.

Every now and then,

even a weird hunter needs

to spend a bit of quality

time with his folks.

Lately, it seemed like they were

always too busy, but today was my day.

They both said it, and

a promise is a promise.

Mitchell, breakfast is

on, time's wasting, son.

Of course, in Erie,

promises have as much

chance of jumping the

tracks as anything else.

Morning!

Morning!

Morning!

It's Saturday, all day.

We didn't forget about

this afternoon, did we?

Of course not.

All right, get my work finished here.

I'll have the whole afternoon off.

And it's down to Slaughter

Memorial Park, or a

little of that old Edward

Taylor, pitch and magic.

Dad, you're no pen and teller.

Well, been busy.

A little out of practice.

Don't worry, I didn't

forget our date either.

Two o'clock we meet to debug

your Teenage Candle Mutants game.

I've set aside three full hours, and I even

wrote some undocumented cheat codes.

Oh, and just so you

don't feel like I'm ignoring

you, I've saved one

full hour for insults.

Shall we say, indignities at six?

I thought all that

stopping to smell the roses

stuff was just made up by

some kind of nature lover.

At that point, how was I

supposed to know the truth?

How was I supposed to know

that worrying about wasting

time might lead to the end

of the world as we know it?

Ah, yes.

Mr. Fugit, I think it's time

we opened for business.

My friend Stanley and me

have a Saturday morning ritual.

We start our day down

at the world of stuff to

pick up the latest issue

of Captain Decay comics.

Some people don't see

the attraction in a superhero

whose only power is the

ability to make himself rot.

For Stanley and me, however, the

cap is Erie's version of Fine Literature.

So, another foray into the

action-packed world of Captain Decay, eh?

Ruler of rot, Prince of Putrescents,

Deacon of Decomposition.

You know about Captain Decay?

No, but I was a fan boy before

he was a little grease spot.

How come he gave up?

Time.

Haven't had time to read a comic in years.

Ah, and that, my friend, is why I am here.

Arm and templates.

Please to make your acquaintance.

Am I associate? The brilliant Dennis Fugit.

John.

What is that?

I thought you'd never ask.

That, my friend, is the Capé Zappé.

The fruit of ten years

of Mr. Fugit's artwork.

Ten long years.

A Java squirting beauty that

will revolutionize your business.

It's a coffee maker.

Coffee maker, he says.

A coffee maker.

Yes, but not just any

old coffee maker, sir. No.

You see, time was, when

you guzzled back a cup of Joe,

the only options you had

were cream and sugar.

But today, everyone's looking for

a latte this, latte that cappuccinos.

Turkish-Irish-Spanish-Coffee's

robust-Roman roast-reonune-es.

I mean, it makes your head swim.

The only problem is, who's got the time

to make all these fancy schmancy drinks?

Not me.

Of course not you.

Ready?

Behold!

A hundred and twenty-seven

different varieties,

and just the push of a button.

The finest beans from the highest

mountains to deep in the jungle.

Deep in the jungle.

No fuss.

No mess.

And most importantly, no wasted time.

Go ahead.

Try it.

All right?

Totally automatic.

Who?

Who?

Uh Hey, you.

You have a cup of coffee.

Oh.

On the house.

Thanks.

Uh, maybe I'll have Viennese

Dark Royale with a twist.

Sorry, I got to make work.

Wow.

That's some device you got there, Tempest.

Yes, indeed.

I mean, that guy was just hanging

around, wasting my time, and then poof.

Go on.

Come to think of it, there's a lot of

people coming here and just hanging around.

You know, doing that

thing where they look at stuff

and then take up my

time at the cash register.

You mean shopping?

Yeah.

Tempest, you had yourself a deal.

All right, sir.

Nobody ever accused Mr. Crawford

of being a business genius,

or any kind of genius for that matter.

But I had the feeling that Tempest was

interested in something more than coffee.

How could we know he was also looking

to serve up a double dose of cafe-weird?

Erie-style.

Mitchell, we're home.

Dad, are you okay?

Sure.

Just cuz he has.

He went down to a little stuff and checked

out Mr. Crawford's new coffee machine.

It's hot chocolate, too.

Yeah, I put some button and

whoosh down it comes so fast.

I tell you enough, I had

to have two workouts.

So, Dad, you ready to go

through the old ballroom?

Oh, I'm sorry.

And I just got so much work to do.

What happened all the time we put aside?

I don't know what happened to it.

Mom, you're still up for animal mutants.

Sorry, Hannah.

I just don't have the time.

But work?

But you promised.

I'm sure I'd be able to.

Just don't know where the time went.

I'll make up to you.

I'll have a little more time.

Here.

I suppose you're too busy as well.

Let me put it this way.

I've already turned down

three days today, Mitchell.

This is not a good sign.

Come on, insult me.

Do your worst.

I dare you.

Okay.

You're

Sorry.

Time's up.

Got to get back to work.

At that moment, somebody

more paranoid might

have thought that their parents

didn't want to spend time with them.

Me?

Well, to tell you the truth, I

was getting pretty paranoid.

Things called for a high

level conference with

me, Stanley, and a couple of black

cows down at the world and stuff.

What's that?

A room full of rat racers.

They're moving so fast, I'm seeing double.

Mr. Crawford?

That's what she said.

What'd you dare tell her?

I'm mad at you.

I'm mad at you.

Can't even tell you.

No.

Stop, no!

I'm not mad at you.

I'm mad at you.

Excuse me, please, I'm on a hurry.

Ah!

Young Mitchell Taylor.

So, what do you think of the tan?

I think I'm moving towards the MOCA range.

Since when do you're a sun tan?

Well that's the deal.

Yeah, tempers guaranteed me lots of time.

All of the different kind

of activities I wanted to do.

Like oh painting

jinx up puzzles stand

collecting. I may even

try my hand at fly phasing.

Ten o'clock to a clock ten o'clock.

Doesn't it worry you that

everyone who drinks coffee from that

coffee machine seems to be moving

somewhere near the speed of light?

Well now that you mentioned it, uh, no.

This is the most recent

quite I've had in ages.

Now if you'll kind of step out of the

light gentlemen, I have some ways.

The The cafe zape was

supposed to save people time

But as far as I could see

nobody who used it had any time

left at all the whole world was

moving at escape velocity and

Stanley and me were just

trying to stay out of the way.

Thought we'd never make it The

way Mrs. Inwright was coming at us with

that shopping cart and

thought we were gone.

But I want to know is how

does the dumb coffee machine

speed up the whole entire

town hello there friends

How many times have

you said to yourself gee?

I wish I could take a vacation, but where

am I gonna find those two extra weeks?

Well, that's why so many happy

customers come to cronies limited.

Whether you're looking for a

month a week a weekend or just a few

hours get yourself down

to our showroom and treat

yourself to that time

You'll thank me believe me

And if you act quickly will not only

throw in an extra hour of daylight

savings, but we'll also throw in

a free five-minute coffee break.

Coffee I.

How come he's got all this time

to sell and nobody else has any.

Maybe we'll think better on a full Sunday.

My parents had been back to

Crawford store for more coffee.

They were now firmly positioned in the ranks

of the fourth dimensionally challenged.

Sorry guys, don't have your darling.

Oh, no, I'm already behind my work

I'm just gonna get

myself a coffee and don't

do it. Stop the world.

It's not for a coffee

We say we're still some more time

great. You know to say more time.

Take our work there mom dad.

You have to stop drinking that coffee.

You don't know what

tempest is doing to you. Love

the same listen. We

just thought of the time.

Things were becoming

blindingly clear if I was ever

going to spend quality

time with my family again

Me and Stanley would have to

deal with whatever was going down to

the world of stuff and the worst

part we were running out of time.

Imagine if you will a world

where your essay was

through the moment it

was assigned excuse me.

Imagine a world where

everyone was late even

before they thought

about going somewhere.

Imagine a world where no

one had even one free second.

Imagine the world of stuff.

Look at them fly.

Oh, man, Rankin's gonna

be doing some pretty

big business after this

time at the shoe store

No one's gonna have

time to do any business

unless we can figure

out what tempest is up to.

See yep, he's at a time.

Mmm.

Our only hope but finding

out what tempest was up to

lay and following him back

to his base of operations.

It was a dangerous operation, but Stanley

and me our middle names are dangerous.

The games of what Dr. Stanley.

Here we are buddy tempest central.

What's in that thing anyway,

you know what I think I think the

reason nobody has any free time

is because tempest is stealing it.

And then selling it back

to people. We've got

to get in there and get

everyone's time back

I don't think they're just

gonna welcome us in with

open arms. Not unless we

have something they need.

Mitchell, we don't have any time for games.

No, but we have to make them think we do.

How wise purchase madam

now that time is money well spent.

Enjoy.

Well well well well well well

well well hello there boys.

How can I help you? Well that

depends on what you're selling time boys.

time.

You know boys I could

set you up with enough

time to take a whole

day off just to fool around.

And not miss a thing at school.

Aspect that wouldn't do much we

don't go to school you don't go to school.

What do you do then not

much of anything I guess

Yep, no school no jobs, I guess

you could say we're just k*lling time.

k*lling time Of a lot of time to k*ll

heck yes, we got nothing but time

Yep, I think we got all

the time in the world.

Really?

Excuse me.

Cronus yes madam. Yes. Oh, absolutely.

Yeah, hold on for a second.

Sounds like a really big order.

We'll have to take it on the back.

Boys you're going to have

to excuse us for a few minutes

in the meantime. Why don't

you make yourselves at home?

This machine here makes a

great cup of hot chocolate, why don't

you help yourselves to sum as

much as you want it's on the house.

Lady, are you out of your mind, no,

no, no, no, no, my time is valuable.

Look sister, you're not

going to make a serious

offer. I won't even

give you the time of day.

That's better now you're talking. Yes.

Yes.

The end of the week will

have robbed this town blind.

I'm glad we're seeing eye-to-eye.

Two days yes, and when

would you like delivery of those

two days two days and two

days two days and two days?

Oh The apparatus.

What are we supposed

to do now? We got to

figure out how to throw

this thing in reverse.

Well, it can't be much

harder than Campbell mutants.

Would you like those

days gift wrapped madam,

or would you like to

spend them yourself?

I'm not trying to be

nosy madam. However,

you spend your time

as a tiny you're a fair.

What about that one does.

There's only one way to find out.

You can't just deal people's

time who are you kidding?

Yes, I can I mean people

take time all the time

They steal it they wasted why

they even k*ll it you said so yourself.

Time is of the essence here now

look Everybody says time is money

What they forget is the other

part of the equation if you have

the money you can buy the

time time to do whatever you want.

Now, please get away

from that lever anyway.

What's free time all the

people would have just wasted

it. Yes. Yeah, but you told

them that you were saving time

Well, yes, but I did to say

for who maybe someone

forgot to read the fine print

on the bottom of the cups.

I'm getting away from that lever.

They're right there Stanley.

These guys are just in it for the money.

We are not I provide a service.

Now look when the

government gives a criminal ten

years. Where do you think

they get that time from boys?

You think it grows on

trees? No, I sell it to them

before they came to us

rush our was only 45 minutes

Yeah, but if they knew

what you did they wouldn't

buy time from you at all

wrong go mondo short stuff

Because what we're all about

is quality. Anybody can sell

you a bad time, but us

will sell you a good time

in fact We'll guarantee

you the time of your life

And then what happens

to my family and all the

other people when

you've taken all their time.

Well, I think that's kind of obvious.

Boof they'll meet their maker

just like the guy at the world of stuff.

Smart boy, you'll never get away

with this They have the time to listen.

It's got a point.

With Tempest and Fugit stuck

in overtime our next job was

to get those stolen hours

back to their rightful owners.

But fast.

All right, just need to.

Listen here a couple more

adjustments and we should be able to

reverse it and get everyone's

time back. You know, it's funny.

I had all that free time.

I didn't really enjoy myself at all.

Retail just isn't the same

about customers to deal with.

Who knew?

Danny, I'll be happy to get rid of

this thing. It does it better rip sound.

Excuse me, can I pay for this please?

You look to my ears.

We did it Mitch we saved Erie

from going poop we did it just in time.

As for my family, well, they got all their

time back. Maybe I should get to work. Oh.

Lots of time maybe I'll take a nap truth

be told. I think they got a bit extra, too.

Mitch, what about you and

me head out to the park and

toss around that baseball,

huh? I'll just get my plug.

How about that? I'm not complaining.

You might ask me what I learned from

dealing with Mr. Tempest. I guess just stuff

I should have already known

that there are always people

ready to take up your time if

you let them in a lot of places

That can be a real inconvenience in Erie.

It can be fatal.

Excuse me could you spare a minute?

You.