01x01 - Switching Channels

[bunniefuu]

Come on, sleepyhead! Shake a leg!

Come, Mom! My name is Mitchell Taylor, and

I've lived in Erie, Indiana all my life.

Up to now my biggest complaint

was that everything was too normal.

I always wished something would

happen, something weird even.

If only I'd listen to

that old saying, be

careful what you wish

for. It might come true.

That's my family.

Officially the most

normal average family in

the most normal average

town in the country.

If people only knew what

I've come to know about Erie.

Mom, I found this thing in my sweater.

That's nice.

Morning, honey.

Mom's a software engineer.

She programmed the entire

Erie nuclear plant from

right here at this table.

Maybe that's why downtown

Erie has that funny glow at night.

My sister, Carrie, spends way

too much time looking in the mirror.

I've never peaked in

her diary, but something

tells me nobody else

makes an appearance.

That's my dad.

He's a science professor at EU.

People figure science professors

are kind of old-fashioned and boring.

Those people have probably met my dad.

Does anyone notice anything

strange happening lately?

The only thing strange

I know about is a young

man who hasn't cleaned

his room in two weeks.

Well, that's not strange.

It's not good, but it's not strange.

Well, I meant, you know, odd.

Unnatural, abnormal, peculiar, aberrant.

But the saurus is sure paying off.

Weird. That's what I'm

trying to say. There's

some really weird things

going on around here.

Mitchell, if anything weird is

happening around here, I promise you.

Your father and I would

be the first to notice.

Now, eat your cereal.

Uh, you know, I kind of

think I'm not that hungry.

I'm gonna go meet Stanley

down at the world of stuff.

Oh, Mitchell, when you're

out, I need you to do me a favor.

Ted's cable stop? More channels

than you ever thought you needed?

2,000 channels.

And for a surprisingly low price.

What do we need 2,000 channels for?

Well, everyone's getting them.

I hear they've got ten fashion channels.

And see, 46 Sci-Fi channels.

How does that sound?

Better than the 52

educational channels, I guess.

I've already ordered it.

I just need you to drop off the deposit.

Sure, 46 channels of Sci-Fi sounded cool.

But I had no idea that I was

about to come face to face.

Mono a mono, eyeball to eyeball

with 2,000 channels of weirdness.

The guy beside me is

Stanley, my next door neighbor.

He's just a kid, but I let him hang out

with me because his mom's always working.

As far as I know, they only

communicate by fax and email.

Uh, Stanley, have you noticed anything

strange happening like the strange?

Like the blueberries in my

pancakes spelling out danger?

That would be strange. And I guess I have.

You? Well, I found a

shrunken head in my sweater.

Something creepy jumped out of the

fridge and my cereal told me to beware.

We could email my mom, but

maybe she'd prefer us to some wet link.

Hey, cool. Look at me.

I'm a tabloid TV host.

Tonight are our show of boys who talked to

their cereal and parents who ignore them.

Our first guest today

is our Mitchell Taylor.

Mitchell, is it true that the

sugar-coated cereals make

better conversation than the

healthier whole grain cereals?

Well, I used to talk

exclusively to the multigrains.

Over here.

Guys, thank goodness we got through here.

You gotta listen.

Listen? Who are you guys?

My name is Marshall

Telling, and this is Simon Hall.

We're calling you from Erie, Indiana.

We're in Erie, Indiana.

You're not gonna believe this, but

we're from another dimension of Erie.

You're right, that is hard to believe.

You got any proof?

What's the matter?

Don't you read your breakfast?

That was you?

Yeah. Who are you guys anyway?

You look so much like us.

Uh, I'm Stanley. This is Mitchell.

Okay, listen.

Our dimension of Erie is the center

of all weirdness in the universe.

Simon and me have

found out that something's

ripped a hole between

our Erie and yours.

Awareness is spilling out into your world,

and we have to stop it. Mitchell, listen!

Good morning to you!

Tana is the name televised

entertainment is the game.

So I see your check-in out

the dish commander 2000.

She is a Marvel, isn't she?

Hey, so, what do you think

of my specialty channels?

Have you ever seen anything like that?

Well, I'm sure we'd like them if we

knew what they were supposed to be.

Oh, don't worry about it. That's why we

give away a guide with every dish installed.

That! Oh, that's the old Jello channel.

And there!

That's the theater of the absurd network.

They're still waiting for Godot.

And that! Oh, what the heck!

Even I don't know which one that is!

Wait, don't tell me. I know. You love it!

Right?

Actually, I find it a little weird.

I know, son. Everybody wants

something a little different. They need it.

But I haven't been in

Erie long, but between

you and I, this

place is a little boring.

And what I said, what is the problem?

You guessed it. Not enough channels!

And that is where I come in.

So, when can I install one of these

fine dishes in your place of residence?

Oh! Anytime I guess.

My dad wanted me to drop a fire deposit.

Congratulations!

We can find the stuff

that doesn't make sense,

Stanley and me resort

to extreme measures.

I submit to you. The Black Cow.

More chocolate precip than

any beverage known to man.

And a definite tonic for whatever else you.

The secrets and the sprinkles.

Mr. Crawford, do you know two

kids named Marshall and Simon?

Sure. I love that show.

You've seen them?

Ever since I got my new Dish

Commander 2000, I see it all.

I can watch the mall management

network 24 hours a day.

The mall management network?

Oh, it's fascinating.

Flow patterns, plant

placement, drinking fountains.

What Mark could you

ask for an entertainment?

I can't begin to imagine.

It was bad enough that our

airwaves were starting to be infected,

but the junk I knew could

be nothing short of weird.

But those kids on the TV were right.

The same twisted stuff was starting

to leak out into our very own reality.

It had to have something

to do with those dishes.

And I had just ordered one for my own home.

Stanley, we gotta get home.

You know, water management can be a trick.

Mom, Dad, are you okay?

Well, of course they're okay!

There we go, all set.

Hey, why did you fire it up there, Nieber?

You do the honors, honey?

That would be the evolution channel.

One of my personal favorites.

Who am I kidding?

They're all favorites.

Oh, you folks are gonna love it.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

He's timing up for that later.

Why don't we step in the next room

and just dance with the paperwork?

Never work.

That's it.

This is not good, Stanley.

Not good to the Max.

We've got an exit ramp from the weirdness

super highway right in my living room.

It'll be okay, Mitch.

All we have to do is dis-commute the dish.

Mommy!

You okay?

Whoa!

You boys watch it now, you hear?

There is some serious

voltage driving that little down.

Enjoy it now.

What are we gonna do?

Mitch.

It took us forever to get through.

This pill is getting worse.

Tell me about it.

We're sure there's a

connection between the

always new satellite

dishes and the weirdness.

See Simon, I knew these guys would get it.

We think it all started when

my family got a satellite dish.

A bunch of strange things

here we began disappearing.

The problem is the weirdness

is transferring faster now.

If we don't stop at soon the whole

thing is going to reach critical mass.

Critical mass?

What do you mean?

Erie, as you and I know it will cease

to exist across all the dimensions.

We gotta stop that from happening.

That might be harder than it sounds.

We have to work together

and we can't do it without you.

It was at that moment, Stanley and I

came to our own personal moment of truth.

We knew that we had

to join our strange other

dimensional friends in a

battle royale against weirdness.

It wasn't just normality on the morning.

It was to be our very existence.

Erie, Indiana, day five.

The weirdness in town was increasing.

Beautiful shot, look.

Oh, that's cool.

A lap time from Golf

Channel to Golf Channel?

29 minutes flat.

Man, that's some awesome stuff.

Well, are you sure it's

the same Golf Channel?

There's more than one.

You'll never get that removed.

Mom and Dad haven't moved for days.

Carrie hasn't gone out on a date all week.

That's beyond unusual.

Let's head down to the world of stuff

and see if we can use Crawford's TV.

I'm going out.

Do you need anything?

We'll want more potato chips.

Hi, fellas.

Can I have a black towel?

I know thanks, Mr. Crawford.

We just wanted to use one of your TVs.

Oh, well, they're all

full up right now, fellas.

But, uh, looks like Blue Thumb with three.

It's gotten a nod off a little bit.

Whatever happened to spending

a little quality time with the family?

No, ma'am.

When people find something they

like, they just can't get enough of it.

Please, President.

Ladies, howdy.

Howdy.

Oh, bless you, brother.

Oh, hi.

How is the multi-cable

connection to the new dish?

Working at Crawford.

Oh, super duper, Dad.

I've already sold out of pretzels

chips and, uh, I dropped it.

Oh, it's like I said, TV is the

workhorse of our consumer society.

And old TV asks is that

you think, merely think

about purchasing

some of its fine products.

And that is no obligations,

no expectations,

no hard feelings if

you're not buying today.

No.

Just have a look, see, his old TV asks.

Oh, the medium is so generous,

so compassionate, so understanding.

It does your thinking for you.

It is your friend.

Oh, it gives so much an a*s.

So little.

And yet, now some who

don't rush to embrace it.

They don't?

No.

But TV doesn't hold that against them.

No, sir.

You see, TV knows

that it's not their fault.

TV takes the blame.

And TV knows what to do.

Give you more channels.

More channels?

As many as it takes until we find the one.

The one that is right for you.

And then you and TV can become one.

Meanwhile, I've got 30 more

houses to hook up before nightfall.

And we are going for total penetration.

Hello, you boys!

Where?

Oh, absolutely.

What a heck of a selfie.

Howdy.

I'm not here right now.

I might help in another half a couple.

But come on in, except for

what Ted's dishes can do for you.

Stanley, I'm telling you.

Here we go.

We are right after Ted

started putting up dishes.

But come on in, except

for what I got an idea.

Whoa!

This is one honking big channel changer.

Whoa!

This is one honking big channel changer.

Whoa!

Oh, Teddy boy!

Looks like you've got

more orders than dishes.

Well, you're going to have to head

back to the other era for supplies.

Channel 00 is the link to

the other dimension of Erie.

Ted uses that switcher to create a doorway,

and then goes through to get his supplies.

There has to be a store

just like his back there.

We got to tell Marshall and Simon.

But how?

That deeper and most become

a part of your dance body.

Maybe even the most important part.

So, Stanley, you didn't happen to catch

the sandwich channel last night, did you?

No, Mitchell, what was on?

They were making big sandwiches.

You know, three kinds of cold cuts.

Four kinds of cheese.

Pickles.

Pickles.

Did they do that thing with the tomato?

Oh, you mean where

they sliced some real fin?

And then slather on the Mayo?

Mayo.

And Dijon, don't forget the lettuce!

I'm ready for a snack.

Anybody else?

Me too.

I'm the star.

Uh, you guys can go ahead.

We'll just keep track of your channel.

Alright.

Mitchell.

Marshall, we just found

out more about Mr. Tanner.

Yeah, so did we.

Let me guess, you went to his

store and saw him go into the TV?

Close.

We saw him come out of it.

Here's the connection.

Hey, here's what I said.

No, you just said what I said.

This could get really tiresome.

Our only hope is to block the

channel he's using to go back and forth.

How do you block a TV channel?

Wait.

He tunes into channel 000,

and then uses that switcher to create a

doorway between the two dimensions of Erie.

If we can both turn off the

switcher at the exact same time,

we'll shut down the connection.

Whoa!

Was that an earthquake?

You guys fell to two?

That was no earthquake.

That was the dimensions of

Erie starting to come apart.

Let's get going.

What were they watching?

Looks like the real estate channel.

I don't see Marshall or Simon.

Let's just get this channel closed down.

Channel Switch, fellas.

They change.

They become part of the off-net program.

But they never, never close.

You're the reason all

the weirdness is in Erie.

Hey, I don't make the shows, kid.

I'm not talking about the shows.

Talking about stuff like that.

Mr. Tanner, channel 000 is

tearing the dimensions of Erie apart.

Don't be a potty poop kid.

Nothing good ever

comes without side effects.

Sorry, effects.

Mr. Tanner, channel 000 is

going to destroy everything.

That channel is my future, kid.

Before I found it, I was just a nobody.

And all the kid was a

guy stretching our living.

And then one night, I got

struck by a big bolt of lightning.

But somehow, I got zined to this place.

It was still eerie, but with

a few small differences.

And one big one.

Nobody. Nobody had a satellite dish.

And then I realized I had been chosen

by television to help a whole new audience.

And I could also make a fortune.

You got to stop.

Stop!

Oh, you see.

I'd always want the people that

watch television to notice me.

And this is my chance.

But if we don't switch off that

channel, Erie will come apart.

You'll not only destroy this

Erie, but the one you came from.

I'm sorry to tell you, kid,

but Erie is a minor market.

You see, I'm getting into programming, too.

Guys, we're closing our switch.

You'll see it in test pattern.

When you close your doors,

the connection will be gone.

Today, Erie, tomorrow!

Mitchell, always remember, hunt

down the awareness, save the evidence.

He wanted everyone to

watch TV to notice him.

Like I said, be careful what you wish for.

When Ted left, his 2000

channels went with him.

My family returned to what

passed for normal in our house.

Like everybody else,

they hadn't noticed that Erie

had suddenly become

more interesting and exciting.

Not to mention, a whole lot scarier.

I'm really going to miss Marshall and

Simon. They seem like really nice guys.

Yeah.

And I guess in a way, they

kind of passed the torch.

Starting tomorrow, we're

hunting down whatever

weirdness got through

from the other Erie.

From here on out, they're on our own.

Here's our first piece of evidence.

What are you doing here?

I wonder what else we'll end up with.

Holly, boys, I'm your new neighbor.

My satellite dish isn't working. I wonder

if you folks got the sandwich channel.

You.