01x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

[door buzzes]

[prisoners shouting indistinctly]

[Jeff] Yeah, I know.
People call us "key turners."

Like all we do all day
is open and close doors.

But folks just don't get it.
It's so much more than that.

It's a vocation.

[Jonathan] Open the door.

[Jeff] This job's a childhood dream.
I grew up right across from a prison.

Those big walls, all that... barbed wire.

All I wanted was to see
what was inside. Hm.

Have a good stay.

[keys jangle]

[door lock buzzes]

[prisoner] Yo, Maillard,
man, your mom is smokin'.

[prisoner 2] Maillard, bet your mama's
gonna go work the judge for time off.

Don't worry about it. It'll die down.

-Till then, you're better off in solitary.
-[prisoner 3] Maillard, you piece of sh*t.

[prisoner 4] Yo, key turner,
quit playing favorites.

Then again, what matters most

is these right here.

Like a Marine with his r*fle,
you watch 'em like a hawk.

Can you imagine if somebody
lost their keys? Imagine. [scoffs]

I don't even wanna think about it.
[shudders]

[door lock buzzes]

[man shouts] Officer!

MINIMUM SECURITY

But why pull him out of solitary?
He's good in there. He's safe.

-Morning.
-Morning.

What about his mental health?
He can't do all his time in solitary.

He'll go crazy. He's fragile.

-But I'm more worried--
-Tsh, tsh.

-Hi.
-Morning.

-Morning.
-Morning.

I'm more worried
about his physical safety.

So find him a cellmate he'll be safe with.

-Who, me?
-Of course you.

If the others see me with him,
they'll say I'm playing favorites.

-You know how it is, Jeff. People talk.
-Mm-hm.

[door bangs shut]

-We good with that?
-Yeah.

Great. Thank you.

You see her hovering around me too?

I'm not sure what she's after,
but trust me, she'll find it soon.

There's something I gotta tell you.

Oh. Say no more.

What the hell you doing with that finger?

Sorry. What were you saying?

-I'm missing my keys.
-Hey, that's no big deal.

You can crash at my mom's if you want.

Quit it. Not my house keys,
the prison keys.

Ah.

I've looked everywhere. I've checked
the halls, the office, the johns.

-I can't find them.
-Hey, it's okay.

It's nothing, no worries.

Yeah?

Yeah, 'course, don't sweat it.
We'll find your keys for sure.

Did any inmate get a little too handsy,
a little too close to you by any chance?

I'm nice to you,
and you're trying to screw me over?

Not sure I follow, Officer.

Tell me where the keys are,
you thief, right now.

Search my cell. I got nothing.

-I will, and you're getting searched too.
-Yeah? In the open out here?

Officer!

-Yeah?
-Can you come here?

-Yeah?
-Strip search on this one, please.

Alright.

Follow me, sir.

You'll see, Pereira's a great guy.

You two'll get along just fine.

But if there's the slightest problem,
you come see me, alright?

[Jeff strains, grunts]

Thought it was heavy,
but actually, not so much.

No, he's like any other prisoner.
No one gets special treatment.

Come on, you knew the private cell thing
wasn't gonna last, right?

-[lighter rasps]
-Do you smoke?

Gonna have to quit that.

Oh, no, no. It doesn't bother me.
I kinda like the smell, to be honest.

You know who this kid is?

If anything happens to him,
you'll be responsible.

[paper rustles]

What the hell is this crap, man?

{\an8}THE JAILBIRD GAZETTE
CHENOISE INMATE NEWSPAPER

[door opens]

What's this?

WHO'S THE BOSS'S LAPDOG?

-[man] It's funny.
-[Jeff] Not funny.

That right there
is contempt of a public officer.

Six months in prison and a 7500 euro fine.

-Even more if you did it together.
-Which officer you talking about?

-You making fun of me?
-[laughter]

Fine. I want
every copy rounded up. Right now.

Yeah, we'll just email our subscribers.

There you go.
Great. Do that. Perfect.

I'm kidding, dude.
We're not allowed to send emails.

You better be careful
'cause one word from me

and your little rag gets shut down.

Yeah, keep staring at me from behind
that little computer. I'm not afraid.

Look, Officer, the boss said
we get total freedom of expression.

Got a problem with it,
take it up with her.

Okay. Fine.

This won't take long.
Don't worry about that.

-Look what they went and did.
-What do I care about your cartoons?

-I told you to watch Jonathan.
-He's safe now. I put him in with Pereira.

Yeah, but it's not just about safety.
Is he sleeping okay? Is he eating okay?

Does he feel lonely? Ethically speaking,
I can't be the one looking after him.

So it's on you to ensure his safety.

-Got it?
-Alright.

Beat it.

[sniggers]

[JP] Ain't this a little much?

What are you doing? Those are chips.
Your keys aren't in there.

[Stéphanie] I don't like snooping.

I'm not the kinda girl who goes through
her boyfriend's phone and stuff.

Well, maybe once or twice I did.

Nah, actually, I kinda like snooping.
[chuckles]

Ah! Got something here.

Looks like our Sam's
got a little admirer on the outside.

Mm, mamma mia.

Bet things don't get too boring
in the visiting room, huh?

Hm. You gross me out.

Yeah, anyway,
I'm not into that kinda underwear.

It's trashy as hell.

That's the kinda thing girls
with no self-respect wear, y'know?

-Total hooker stuff.
-Knock it off.

Lot of those at visitation.
It's an epidemic.

Sounds like you know a lot about that.

Yeah, for sure,
she's a professional, no question.

That's no amateur right there.

-h*, h*, h*, h*.
-What?

Oh, wow.

"I can't get our time together
out of my head.

Your eyes and your warmth,
they gave me a taste of freedom

I hadn't felt in way too long."
[sniggers]

-"Time goes by faster with you--"
-Give it.

What a sap, this guy.

Plays the tough guy all day,
but then he's writing poems?

[JP chuckles]

[soft, shuddering breath]

What's got you smiling?

Nothing.
I think it's kinda sweet, that's all.

I don't even get what's so funny.

Anyway, whatever. Come on, let's go.
You can see the keys ain't here.

Damn. Now it makes sense.

She's a hopeless romantic.

-Hey, what's going on?
-Hey.

You got the order slip for 128,
Maillard and Pereira?

Yeah. I just finished it.

Hold on, this is ridiculous.

Cookies, chocolate cereal, potato chips...

-What? Is there a mistake?
-No, no mistake.

It's just the kid eats like crap.
[sighs]

Here, hand me that can
of ratatouille, would you?

Cleared it with the director.
And the peas and carrots too there.

And, er, that one next to it,
the corn. Yeah.

I've always said it,
eating well is where happiness begins.

Hm. That's right.

There you go. Look at Pereira.
Now there's a healthy guy.

Spinach, asparagus...

CONDOMS
STANDARD

Mistake, right?

-Oh, yeah, that's a good point.
-Hm.

He'd gone with the king-size ones.

King size. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. No mistake there.

[indistinct chatter]

[Corinne] Well, nice work, Jeff.

You were right.
Getting him with Pereira was a great idea.

They get along pretty well, huh?

-Mm-hm.
-I knew I could count on you.

And, uh...

what about that slanderous depiction?

Oh, come on now, enough with that already.

What happened to freedom of expression?

You know some people gave
their lives so we could draw cartoons?

-Yeah. Dying's kind of a big deal.
-Yeah.

Wait, is he rolling a joint?

Huh? Oh, maybe it's just a cigarette.

No, come on. Look closely.
That's drugs he's burning.

-Oh, yeah.
-Well, bravo, a trustworthy cellmate.

-No, no, no, Jonathan, you say no.
-No.

-You say no.
-No, no.

[no audible dialogue]

-[Corinne] No. Say no. No!
-[Jeff] No, Jonathan. No!

Oh.

Proud of yourself? As role models go,
you really picked a winner.

I put him in your hands four hours ago,
and he's already a druggie.

Pff.

We really can't put you
in charge of anything.

Ma'am, don't worry.
I'll move him out of that cell now.

No, Jeff, you've done
enough damage already.

I'll handle it. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

Pff...

-What are they doing? Are they kissing?
-No, that's called a shotgun, Chief.

Oh, now this is a disaster.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

-[JP] You sure you don't want my jacket?
-No, I'm not cold. I told you, I'm fine.

-God, you're annoying.
-Well, excuse me for being a gentleman.

[Stéphanie] Hm.

After you, if you'd be so kind.

-I'm gonna get fired, for sure.
-Nah, don't worry. We'll find your keys.

Hey, you two, come with me.

We need to take another look
at these cell assignments.

Stéphanie, open the gate.

It's okay, I got it. I'm on it.

[keys jangle]

You alright there, Stéphanie?
You don't seem yourself.

Yeah, that's because I've got diarrhea.

I swear, I'm a terrible liar.

We can't do that.
He's awaiting trial. He's not a convict.

What if we put him in 105?

No, an Ethiopian and an Eritrean?
They'll k*ll each other.

How about this one? Papillon?

-That's a nice name.
-Oh, him? I don't know him.

How could you not know
all the inmates by now?

Come on, I can't interview them all.
Okay, give me Papillon's file.

Let's take a look.

Here.

Maurice Papillon. Nice name.

Oh, he looks nice. And he's a doctor, too.

Oh, that's perfect. A doctor.

Don't worry, I got it.

-After you, ma'am.
-What a gentleman.

Whoa, whoa, hold on. Careful.

-What's all this?
-This?

-Yeah.
-Nothing. Just some papers lying around.

You know how inmates are.
They respect nothing.

-Let me see that, Jeff.
-No.

-Jeff, I'm your boss, come on!
-No.

Oppressing the people's words,
you know what that's called?

Jihad. Yep.

Wait, that's not funny at all.

No, it's not.
That's what I keep saying.

But this isn't even a caricature.
This is... This is serious stuff.

-This is putting people's lives at risk.
-One year in prison and 15,000 euros.

Get rid of this trash
and every copy you find.

You, help him. You, you're coming with me.

-Right now?
-Yeah. I'm not going by myself.

-Corinne.
-Yeah?

-There's something I need to tell you.
-What's going on?

-Actually, I kinda lost--
-[JP] Oh, right. Here are your keys.

Yeah, mine are missing.

If that's not romantic, what is?
[chuckles]

What the f*ck is wrong with you?
Do you even realize how serious this is?

That's the master key that opens every
damn cell and every door in this prison.

If an inmate has it,
he can go wherever he wants to go.

-You know what that means?
-Mm.

-He doesn't get it.
-It means if we don't get it back,

we'll have to replace every f*cking lock.


at a 1,035 euros each.

-Do the math.
-That's... definitely a lot.



Wow, that's a big number.

But... who pays?

Listen to me.

You better find those keys

or you'll be facing
a disciplinary hearing.

Alright. A set of keys has gone missing.

[officers sigh]

-How come everybody's looking at me?
-Like it wasn't you, JP?

See? That's what all that
"Yo, bro, my man, Aziz" stuff gets you.

Come on. It's not that bad.
You can borrow mine if you want.

He's getting written up, right? If it were
up to me, he'd be cleaning out his locker.

What's the point of pointing fingers?
If the keys are gone, the keys are gone.

We just gotta find them now, that's all.

She nailed it. Right on the head.

Good thing one guard around here
still has her head on straight.

Alright. We're locking the place down.

And we search
every inmate and every cell, got it?

And get ready for overtime 'cause
nobody goes home till we find those keys.

-[officers sigh]
-Is that clear?

-Yes, Chief.
-Yes.

-[officer 2] Goddammit.
-[sighing]

-Nah, I swear I ain't working overtime.
-[Michel] Me neither.

[shouting and clattering]

[prisoner] I already told you!
I didn't hide anything!

It's right there!
It's not me, come on.

Whose phone is this?

Hey. Easy.

So, Mr. Papillon, I read
in your file that you were a doctor?

-Yeah.
-Ah, and what was your specialty?

I was a urologist.

Help me out here, a urologist does...?

Anything involving the p*nis.

Ah.

Okay, well...

I see your hands are full.

Oh, yeah. [chuckles]

Well, Mr. Papillon, nice to meet you.

-See you around.
-See you soon.

-[laughs awkwardly]
-I look forward to it.

Okay...

Oh, hey, I found some weed.

Ah.

Well, you told me you never got a copy.

{\an8}Huh? This one's gonna cost you.

{\an8}Ha.

No, seriously, I feel awful.
Everybody hates you because of me.

What are you even saying?
Everybody loves me.

[officer] I'm gonna miss the game
because of this as*h*le.

-I'll tell them it was me. We're good.
-Nah, don't do that.

Don't get all worked up. I've seen worse.

You know a disciplinary hearing
is a big deal, don't you?

What are you talking about?
I've had two already. It's nothing.

Every time it's the same thing.

They slap you with a reprimand,
then nothing.

You know a third reprimand
gets you suspended?

Hm.

You earned your education diploma here?
That's pretty nice.

Oh, yeah. I get out in a year.

I figure if I can help some kids
avoid making the same mistakes,

then at least my time in here
meant something.

-You know what I mean?
-Of course I do.

That's the plan. Yeah.

-Do you smoke?
-No, no, no, I quit.

That's perfect.
Don't move. I want you to meet someone.

[receding footsteps]

What's going on here?

Boss, that's cannabis.

Gotta be 100 grams at least.

-That isn't mine.
-[Corinne] Right, like, it's his then?

Yeah, it's mine. So?

Pff. Give me a break.
Take him to solitary.

I'm telling you, it's mine!

Look, on my mother's life.

[squeaking rubber]

[popping]

Check it out. Got some left.

You mad, huh?

Ah, so that's why he got the king size.

That's not weed.
If you ask me, that's sh*t.

[sniffs, groans]

[prisoners shouting indistinctly]

[Joël] We searched everywhere.
Found nothing, boss.

[she sighs]

I mean, if it helps,
I could make a copy of mine.

I think we're good, Joël. Thank you.
You can leave.

Er, Corinne,
I really need to tell you something.

You know, the keys,
I'm the one who lost them.

Yeah, sure. And Maillard's
the biggest dealer in the prison.

No, I swear to you, boss, I lost them
this morning, and JP covered for me.

You know, I was just like you at first.

It's very noble,
standing up for a colleague,

but protecting him like this
isn't helping him.

-But Corinne--
-No.

When you mess up, you don't let
somebody else take the fall.

JP's someone I care about a lot,
but we never found the keys,

so he's going
before the board tomorrow, period.

Good evening, Stéphanie.

-But--
-I said, good evening.

[receding footsteps]

[sighs]

[distant chatter]

[door lock buzzes]

Those b*stards.

[they chuckle]

So, JP, how's that ride? [chuckles]

You think that's funny?
You know how much an inner tube costs?

[they continue laughing]

[sighs]

PRISON UNION OFFICE

I don't know... No, no, I'm not gonna lie,
JP, this won't be easy.

You've already got a lot in your file.

-A lot?
-Oh, yeah. Look here, for instance.

Two months ago, you were rapping
on some inmate's TikTok.

And then that day, when the warden
found you sleeping on the job,

you said, and I quote,

"Somebody drugged me."

That's pretty bad. That's really bad news.
You can get fired, JP.

So, let's talk business, then.

What are my options?
How much can I ask for in severance pay?

Whoa, hold on.

Yeah, hello? Planet JP?

Yeah, this is Serge speaking.
Did I wake you up?

JP, if you get fired,
it's for gross misconduct.

You won't even get unemployment benefits.

Alright, we're not gonna let this slide.
We'll rally all the staff.

This is abuse of power.
We've got rights, okay?

Hm. Rally all the staff?

Well, yeah.

-For you, huh?
-Hm.

[stifles laughter]

[guffaws]

This is a retractable key reel.

This thing is just about three feet long.

Best 4.90 ever spent
on this country's security, man.

Yeah, it's a shame
JP didn't have one like that.

Shame, shame.
More like good riddance.

I like JP. Come on.

[keys clank on the floor]

-[Stéphanie] Yeah.
-Mm.

[keys clank on floor]

-Losing prison keys is gross misconduct.
-Absolutely.

So, after reviewing the case,
the disciplinary board has decided

to place a reprimand in your file,
which, till now, has been spotless.

Excuse me, don't you think it's weird

that Stéphanie finds JP's keys
the exact same day I lose mine?

-How convenient.
-For God's sake, leave Stéphanie alone.

Careful, Jeff. You're accusing her
of theft. That's serious.

Is that how you plan
on becoming a senior officer?

-[Jeff grunts]
-Slandering your coworkers?

Bravo. Bravo. Congratulations.
Actually, scratch that. It's the opposite.

Stéphanie's a wonderful girl.
Better than you.

[sighs] No, no, the decision is fair.
I shouldn't have left my keys unattended.

Now there's a set of keys
that's out there somewhere.

If it were my choice,
my locker would be cleared.

-You really disappointed me, Jeff.
-I know, ma'am. I'm sorry.

Not to mention, thanks to you,
Jonathan's become a drug dealer

and ended up back in solitary.

From now on,
you'd better treat him with kid gloves.

-I'd love to, but that'll be tough.
-How so?

He put in a request
to transfer to another facility.

What?

Corinne, he's the one
who requested transfer.

And you know my policy on that.

If an inmate wants to leave,
the door's wide open.

Hm. [sighs]

You know I came up with that title, right?

-What title?
-The Jailbird Gazette.

And I don't just have title ideas.
I've got article ideas too.

One's about the way prison contracts
are handed out.

Because, see,
right now it's a satirical paper,

but it could turn
into an investigative paper real fast.

And I think
regional management would love that.

[chuckles softly]

-Corinne...
-[chuckles softly] Yes.

-Corinne, we go way back, right?
-Oh, it's been quite a few years now.

-I've always had your back.
-Hm...

Of course the boy can stay. Absolutely.

He'll be just fine here with us.

In our... little family-run prison.

-Great.
-What worries me is his safety.

He can't do
his whole sentence in solitary.

Why not?

-Have you thought about his mental health?
-Don't worry. He has nerves of steel.

Like his mommy.

-[they laugh]
-More so.

-[Jonathan sobs]
-[prisoner] Pretty boy, come to my cell!

I'll show you a good time.

[prisoner 2] Yo, bro, don't listen to him.
Don't worry, you're with me.

I'll take care of you.

[sighs]

That's the kind of thing you learn
growing up over on my side of town.

-[keys clank on floor]
-[groans]

Ah, women, I swear to God.
[laughs]

It's not creepy at all, you see?
I just wanna give her this, that's all.

She's gonna melt.

I wrote it straight from the heart.
She'll melt instantly.

Splash. [chuckles]

Oh...

Oh, that bi--