01x34 - Insane in the Mama Train

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪

♪ Rising up against evil paint the city green ♪

♪ Raph is ready for a fight Leo's making a scene ♪

♪ Mikey's got mad skills Donnie rocks machines ♪

♪ With each other they discover ♪

♪ Their destiny and rise ♪

♪ Cowabunga ♪

♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪

♪ Rise ♪

- Hmm...

[laughs menacingly]

[bird coos]

[grunting] Shoo! Get out of here!

[bird screeches]

[shouts] Stupid bird!

- Hey, what's that?

- [grunting] Shoo!

- It's...two birds in love.

all: Aww!

- [shouting]

[all groan]

Just like I planned it.

[grunts]

- [scoffs] You didn't leave

any g*ons for me?

- [grunts] - I got all jacked up

for kicking some Foot butt

and you can't put that feeling back in the bottle.

- Do not worry, there is plenty more inside

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

- [gasp] The dark armor!

It is almost finished. - [laughs]

We are close! Patience.

Soon you will control its great power.

- Where are the boys?

They should be here by now.

- They know how important this mission is.

They'll be here.

- ♪ Eat-eat-eat some cake, eat some cake ♪

♪ Raph's gonna eat some ♪

[beat boxes]

♪ Eat some cake ♪

[yelps]

- [laughs] Classic Mikey prank attack.

- Nice work bro. Gimme some!

- Yeah! Aw, nuts.

Oh, whoa!

- [laughing]

[groans]

[grunts] - And victory.

That, gentlemen, is why I'm the king of--

[groans]

- Okay, guys, enough messing around.

We need to train for Friday night's Foot mission.

- But today's Friday. - No it's not, it's Thursday.

- No, it's Friday.

- But this mission's on Friday.

- Wait. If today's Friday...then...

- Wait--don't touch that! - [shouts]

[groans]

- [gasps] It is Red's panic button.

My boys are in trouble. We must retreat.

- You go get 'em. I'll stay here

and keep an eye on the armor.

- No, it is too... - Don't worry.

If things get dangerous, I'll bounce.

- Admirable bravery, April. You are a ninja supreme.

[grunts]

- Wait, did he just call me a pizza?

- Hmm...

- Start packing up the dark armor.

We're moving it to its final location

for the grand ceremony.

- Moving it? Final location?

Grand ceremony?

- Uh... I'm out of tape.

- [grunts]

[gasps]

Oh, no. I am too late.

They have been fluffed to...pieces.

But...but--the mission.

- See...what had happened was...

- Enough! Do you know--how can you...

I...I...I am just...

very disappointed.

- Wait a minute. Did we get rid of all the--

- [yelps]

- Okay, that's on me.

- Oh, my sons.

They are not ready. They are not ninjas.

I have failed my ancestors.

My ancestors!

Ah-ha!

Ooh, that is a lot of reading.

Hmm...

- Hamato Yoshi,

you have summoned the ancient spirit

of your ancestors, the Hamato Clan.

- Yes! Audio book.

- I am here to guide you.

Wait, is there a piece of pepperoni on me?

- [grunts] No, of course not.

I would never soil such an important-looking

mystic artifact that probably

has some wisdom or something--hopefully?

- Yes. What wisdom do you seek

to carry on your sacred duty as part of the...

- Yeah, we're going to need to skip ahead

to the, "What to do if you lived your whole life as

"action star Lou Jitsu and now the dark armor

is almost complete and your sons aren't ready" chapter.

- Dude, way to leave things to the last minute.

- You know, I'm not too worried about it.

I mean, what's the punishment for missing a life-threatening

earth saving mission anyway? It's gotta be pretty lenient.

- Listen, everyone has a calendar mix up now and then.

- Yeah! We'll just say sorry,

I'll give him my puppy dog eyes and...

- Puppy dog eyes won't cut it.

Dad isn't mad...

he's disappointed.

- Hmm. - Oh.

- We need to make it up to him, guys.

Big time.

♪ ♪

[bird screeches]

[dramatic music]

[train engine blaring]

[whistle toots]

♪ ♪

- This doesn't really count as dangerous, right?

What?

- I'm flattered that you asked for my help, Draxy.

May I ask exactly what it is that you're moving?

- You may not.

- Rude! I love it.

But we both know my train is the only way to secretly

move your cargo to the shrine.

- And I'm paying a heavy price for you not to ask questions.

- Hmm...

- Mmm, scrumptious. I can't wait to use it.

- Hey! - [gasps]

- You're holding up the line! - Oh, okay.

- I swear...the greatest threat to this ancient mystic clan

is line inefficiency!

Now move. Please!

all chanting: Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut!

- Boys?

- Dad, we're sorry. Not like our normal sorry.

Like for real sorry this time.

Will you let us make it up to you?

- Yeah, it's time we grew up and accepted our destiny

as descendants of the Tamato Clan.

- It's "Hamato." - That's it.

It is Hamato, right? - We're ready

to become the ultimate ninjas, Dad.

- Starting right now.

[yelps]

[screaming]

Boom.

- [grunts] A great challenge

lies before us. The dark armor

is almost complete.

According to the ancient scrolls, you must learn

the ways of our ancestors, the Hamato Clan ninjas.

[grunts]

[all grunting]

[all groan]

This will require great focus and sacrifice.

It is time to get serious.

You must let go of your childish ways.

You must become more than turtles.

You must think as one.

[all groaning]

[grunts]

You must become an extension of the clan,

ready to sacrifice all.

[grunting]

- [shouts]

- Only then will you be ready to fight.

The old versions of you will be gone.

Shed like a skin.

You will be remade to the image of your ancestors.

Are you ready, my sons?

all: Yes, sensei!

- All aboard!

[whistle toots]

- I'll take it from here.

- Uh...where are you moving it?

- Thank you for asking.

People take very little interest in my work

and I'm quite proud of it.

Now then, I'm putting the armor in the front car,

where it will be safe.

- Ooh, great. So, I'ma head out.

I got a lot of evil to catch up on.

- No, no, no. Everyone must remain

on the train.

- [laughs]

Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic.

Oh, actually...

[gasps]

- Thank you for pressing the panic button.

Your panic is important to us.

- [gasps]

- [snoring]

Huh?

[grunts]

- [gasps]

[dramatic music]

[all grunting]

all: Sensei.

- [sobbing] - Sensei, are you crying?

- No, um, it's this air.

You guys smell onions, right? [sniffs]

Onion air?

- Sorry, sensei.

It's April's panic button, sensei.

I will ignore it, sensei.

- Good, good. A true ninja must remain...

Oh, no! April!

The armor! Uh, training over.

You all pass, graduate,

you are ninja-fied. Hip, hip, hooray.

We go!

- Hey...

We got company. They must be after the armor.

- Can't you deal with this on your own?

I'm trying to get swole! Find them!

- [gasps]

♪ ♪

- Based on April's trajectory, she should be right there.

- [grunts] - [groans]

- Mystic train.

Hidden behind some sort of shimmer.

Of course, that is how

they're transporting the dark armor.

- Let me portal us, sensei.

- No, the shimmer blocks all mystic powers.

You must use your training to get April and the armor back.

Now get to the roof and jump on my command, Raph.

- Please, sensei. Call me Raphael.

[grunts]

- [sobs]

- How do we get on a train that we can't see?

- Trust me. Go on my command!

all: Yes, sensei!

[grunts]

Now!

[all gasp]

- [grunts] Oh, it's you!

Looks like you don't have any friends to save you this time.

[chuckles]

[all grunting]

I jinxed myself.

Hey, you guys look different. Did you get a haircut?

[groans]

- [grunts] What?

- April, are you okay?

- Uh...why do you guys look...

like that whole situation?

all: We are the Hamato Clan.

- Hamato.

- Donnie, have you been experimenting

on their brains again?

- Negative. We are on mission to find

the dark armor. Are you aware of its location?

- Yeah, it's--it's in the front car

at the other end of the train,

but before we go anywhere, can we talk about this?

- No time. Ninjas, on me.

[all grunting]

- Excuse me, um, where is this train going?

- Um, I'm not sure. I'm just giving

a delightful seminar on mystic taxes.

Interested?

- Sorry, no time for boring.

- [grunts]

How do we get to the front with no doors?

Hmm...

everyone, get close.

- Wait!

[grunts]

- Uh, this is definitely not the front.

- Okay, let's stay calm. Keep our minds clear.

And think of a plan.

- Wait, wait--plan? You guys?

Okay, this is really starting to freak me out.

- Huh, it appears each of these buttons is tied

to a different car, but I don't know which

one will get us to the front.

- Then we'll try 'em all.

Donatello, Michelangelo you're up.

- Yes!

- Here? - Nope, not here.

- Here? - Not here either.

- Here? - Negative.

- No dark armor. - Nope.

- Turtles?

You must be the infiltrators.

- Let's get the information out of these turkeys.

- I'm going to enjoy breaking every single bone--

Is there something different about you guys?

- Yeah, they're even lamer than before.

- [grunts] - The sickest of burns!

- [shrieks]

- Whatever happened to hero-villain banter?

- How are we supposed to find the armor?

- Shh...watch.

- Huh?

- We blend in. - What?

Leo. - We remain unseen.

We are one with the shadows.

And they'll never see us coming.

[groaning]

[all shouting]

[groaning]

- Mmm...

Hmm? [grunts]

- [scoffs] Eeny, meeny, miny...

moe! - Not that button!

[shouts]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Uh-oh.

[all grunting]

- [groans]

[shouting]

Hey! You guys are gonna

pay for this!

[laughing]

[yelps]

- [grunting]

- It's me, you idiot!

[yelps]

- If we're gonna get to the dark armor,

we need to get past this guy.

Huh?

And apparently this guy. - [growls]

[both shouting]

[grunts]

- Ooh! Now it's a party.

Really, nothing?

No puns? No "Chill out, bro"?

No, "Ice to meet ya"?

- Hey, let's try and keep this professional.

Okay?

[groaning]

[both growling] - Uh-oh.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- [laughing menacingly]

- Come on!

- [slurping]

- [growls]

[grunting]

- [groaning] Huh?

[laughs]Nuh-uh!

- No!

- Next.

What do you so if your finances have been cursed...

- Leo? What are you doing?

- Shh, trust me. Don't talk.

- Which is why diversifying your portfolio is the most

conservative approach to protecting

your pile of gold...

- This train is insane. I just keep bouncing around

and getting nowhere. How are we ever going

to get to the dark armor? - I don't know!

There's too many buttons. Every time I try to push...

wait a second! I think I just figured it out.

- I'll start over...

- Nice work.

Wait, did we just Ninja Mind Meld?

Oh, I thought so!

- April, I know how to get to the front!

- Great, what do we do with these guys?

- What guys?

[both growling]

- Oh right, these guys.

- I thought you had a plan.

- I'm working on it!

- Yes, great idea!

- Wait, wait, wait--what? What?

You didn't say anything! - It's a Ninja Mind Meld.

It's a thing we do now.

[all grunting]

both: Cowabunga!

- Someone tell me what we're doing!

- [laughing menacingly]

- I'm....gonna...hurl!

- [cackling]

Uh-oh.[yelps]

- Where is everybody? [yelps]

- [groaning]

Uh-oh.

- Enjoy. - Huh?

- And if you do that,

you'll get a nice return at the end of the year.

- What is this nonsense? We need to get out of here!

- Excuse me, I'm trying to talk about taxes.

- Taxes are boring!

[laughing]

- [growling] - Uh-oh.

[yelps]

- [grunts]

- [gasps]

- Okay, how did you know it was the black button?

- I paid attention to a small, but important detail.

It was the only button they didn't want me to press.

Hey, I paid attention!

- I did not rely on my tech once.

- Raph and I mind-melded.

- Awesome!

We followed Master Splinter's teachings!

We are...

all: The Hamato Clan!

- [laughing] - How sweet.

Daddy's little turtles are all grows up.

He must be so disappointed.

- April!

- Raph!

- No!

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

- Good thing he'll never have to look at you again.

[laughing menacingly]