20x12 - 400?!

[bunniefuu]

[ Dramatic music plays ]

Stan's good to go.
His internal bio sensor

shows body temp
and heart rate are normal,

and he has a full erection.

That makes two of us!

Dear Diary, tonight's the night.

The big deal with
the Domingo Cartel

and I have no idea
what I'm going to wear!

♪

[ Energy shield warbles ]

[ Beeping ]

♪

[ Gasps, choking ]

Congrats, Stan!
This is your 400th mission!

We got you an ice-cream cake!

Wait. Are you eating
the cake now?

Uh... no.

This is a...
practice ice-cream cake.

[ Choking ]

[ Button clicks, alarm blaring ]

Ugh!

♪

Sorry, fellas, I gotta split.

[ Machine-g*n fire ]

Unh!
Ugh!

♪

[ g*nsh*t ]

[ Choking ]

[ Ringing ]

Stan, what's for dinner tonight?

Don't tell me you forgot
it was your turn to cook!

[ Ringing ]
Oh, come on!

Hey, Stan, I need a ride
to the dealership.

My truck's making this noise.

Hrb-rb-rb-rb-rb-rb!

Guys, I'm on a mission.

This number is only
for emergencies!

[ Call starts ]
This is an emergency!

I'm debating changing
my hairstyle!

What do you think?

♪

[ Grunting ]

Unh!
[ Glass shatters ]

Aaah!

Unh! Ohh!
Aah!

[ Flatline ]

[ All gasp ]

Oh, sweet... ice-cream cake!

Oh, no.
Stan's dead.

[ "Taps" plays ]

[ Thunder crashes ]

♪

[ Electric guitar playing ]

♪

Stan, your journey
is not yet over.

I'm alive?

Yes, but you've lost
a lot of blood

and are having strange visions.

What kind of visions,
Rock and Roll Gandalf?

Oh.

[ Guitar shredding ]

[ Electricity crackles ]

My internal bio sensor.
The CIA must think I'm dead.

[ Grunting ]

Aah! Unh!

It is just one of those days.

[ Branch cracks, body thuds ]

Unh!

♪

♪

Unh!
[ All gasp ]

[ Weakly ] Happy birthday.

[ Shower running ]

[ Sighs ]

Francine, prepare
for some heartfelt

but extremely
low-effort lovemaking.

Aah!
Aah!

Aaaah!
Aaaah!

Who the hell are you?! I'm
Stan! Who the hell are you?

I'm Stan!
Now get out of my house!

You get out of my house!

[ Dramatic music plays ]

[ Both grunting ]

Aah!

[ Both grunting ]

[ Choking ]

If you're the real Stan,

then tell me what's
your wedding anniversary.

No clue.

Unh!
[ Body thuds ]

Actually, I don't know, either.

I demand you take me to the CIA!

I need some answers!

That's where we're
going, dumb-a*s.

And I'm the one
who needs answers!

[ Cellphone rings ]

Steve: Dad, I'm freaking out

about my big haircut tomorrow,
so I booked us

an emergency midnight
tele-health session

with Dr. Penguin.
Thanks!

[ Line clicks ]
[ Both sigh ]

Sometimes the family
is just... unrelenting.

Sometimes?
More like always!

Yes! And between
work and family,

I never have a second for myself.

I hear ya, bro.

You know I still haven't
used the spa gift card

that Styles got me
two Christmases ago?

Brutal. You know,
for an evil clone

likely sent to m*rder me...

you're a pretty solid dude.

Thanks, but I'm pretty sure
you're the clone, my friend.

Agree to disagree...
clone.

But here's one thing
we can agree to agree on.

Do you wanna...

Both: Stop at DQ for a Blizzard
with fries mixed in?

This is good, but it
would be way better...

Both: At Chipotle so we can
enjoy the amazing music!

♪

DJ Mild Salsa, give us a moment.

♪

[ Music stops ]

Uh, I might have figured
out who's the clone.

Also, that right there,
that's a dead giveaway.

Aw, man...

Hey, don't be sad.
I know what'll cheer you up.

Wow. My very own
Kangol hat.

I feel like a cool bald guy.

Uhp, we're here.

Oh, good. No one's
in my parking spot.

[ Tires screeching,
light shatters ]

What now? Do we even know
what we're looking for?

No, but I bet that guy
knows where to go.

♪

[ Beeps ]

[ Machinery whirs, air hisses ]

Tenderize!

♪

Looks like Agent Escher designed
another secret staircase.

♪

I just want to say, I'm having
a really good time with you.

Me too.

♪

Okay, just free-associating,

I don't love what I'm seeing.

I thought we lost you!
I'm so happy you're alive, Stan!

Bullock, what's with this
secret clone program?!

Think of it...

never again
will an agent's family

lose a loved one
to a dangerous mission.

Visiting widows is
the worst part of my job.

I hate folding that flag!

The widows never appreciate it.
They're always crying!

Okay. But why are they
all clones of me?

We were actually trying
to clone Styles,

but you sneezed in the sample.

It's actually impossible to find
a DNA sample in the office

that you haven't sneezed on.

Ah-choo! Sorry.
Late to block that one.

[ Cellphone rings ]

Yep.
Hayley: Hey, Dad.

I accidentally got super high,
and now I'm lost.

Can you come and find me?
Hey, Tuttle!

Oh, I'm in Tuttle's house.
Never mind!

Rrr!
[ Phone beeps ]

The frustrated grunt of a man
with a lot on his plate.

Don't you see the answer
is right in front of you?

I'm giving you clones!

♪

You see, what I'm trying to do...

I've been around the block, Stan.

I know what's happening here.

Okay, but the plan is...

For the clones to help with all
your family responsibilities.

Yes, I get it.

This isn't, like,
a groundbreaking idea.

Happy to help wrangle the Stans
and break them in.

Why're you standing
on that stool like that?

So I can do this!

Hmm.
Wet all the way down.

These are good clones.

♪

I'm off to the spa.
Here's a list

of what I need the clones
to do for me today.

Now, it might be tricky
to coordinate all these tasks

without the family catching on.

Are you sure you got this, Roger?

Stan, I simultaneously juggle
hundreds of personas,

run three successful
Wingstop franchises,

and I'm the GM
of the Vancouver Canucks.

I think I can handle a few
clones doing some errands.

[ Cellphone rings ]

Roger: Help! Stan,
you need to come back!

I'm in way over my head!

What's this?

Are you kidding me?!

What were you two doing
by the river?!

Both: Salamanders.
Salamanders.

That's your answer?
Salamanders?

Now what the hell is this?!

[ Tires screech ]

What are you doing?!
This isn't on the list!

Who even is this kid?
Camden.

Get in the car.

Up! Wait.
Empty your pockets.

[ Salamanders trill ]

All of you?!

Go easy on the clones, Stan.

It's not all their fault.
I know!

It's mostly your fault!

Whoa you need to relax, bud.

Have a beer.

Have sex with one of the clones.

Roger, you're
no longer in charge.

It's the right call.

You clones need supervision!

Someone to watch over you

and make sure
you're doing your jobs.

To that end, I've brought in...

more cl-o-o-o-o-o-ones!

[ Classical music plays ]

♪

♪

All right, Stan 4
is giving Jeff a bath,



finally getting her
properly sized for a bra.

Uhp, Original Stan is home.

Stan 12,
how's that foot rub going?

Oh, Stan...

She's super horny.

We're ready for you, OG Stan.

Time for the main event.

[ Grunting ] Boom.

Sending in Stan 13 for cuddling.

♪

I've come to warn you.

The Secret Clone Program
is not what it seems...

Woman: Stan Smith.

Ooh, I'd love to hear
the rest of that dire warning,

but I need this massage, stat.

Threw my back out
banging my wife.

It was like a sex marathon, bro.

[ Sighs ]

♪

Smells good.
What did I cook tonight?

[ Laughs ]

It's Coq au Vin
with sherry instead of...

Oh, my God, why do people
keep trying to explain

important details to me today?

Who's hungry for my legendary...
turkey soup?

[ Cheering ]

Klaus: Cheers to
the one and only Stan!

This is bullcrap!

I don't know, guys.
It's nice to see Stan happy.

Doesn't that make it
all worth it?

Oh, shut up, Cuddle Stan!

Hold up.
I'm confused.

We played basketball
all yesterday afternoon, Dad.

How did you also take Steve
to a five-hour haircut?

Great question, Hayley.
But I have a better one.

Who wants dessert?
[ Banging ]

What's all that noise?
Probably rats.

Ungrateful rats that
need to be put in their place!

Finally, someone
is doing something

about those entitled rats!

It's not fair how you treat us!

Hey, we're all equal here...
except for me.

Because I was created by God,
and you are abominations.

What the heck is going on, Stan?

Nothing's going on!
Woman, you are so paranoid.

[ Crashing ]

Just because you're right

doesn't mean you're not paranoid.

Now I get how you were
able to do all that stuff!

But it wasn't you at all, was it?

'Twas beauty
that k*lled the beast!

No, Jeff.

Alright, I might've had
a little help from a few clones.

Let's not make this
into a huge deal.

I thought you had
turned over a new leaf,

but instead, you found a new low!

Hey, I did this for you guys!

For us?!

Where were you even?

All:
He was at the spa!

The spa, huh?

Well if you love the spa so much,

why don't you just go
live there?!

Great idea!
Maybe I will!

Soooo it's probably time for you
unsettling creatures to go, too.

They can't leave now.

I need their help
completing my look!

What's next for me?

Over-lining my lips

or shaving off my eyebrows?

Both.
See?!

Okay. The unsettling
creatures can stay.

Yes!
Yes!

Yesss.
Yeeeees.

Yeeesssss.

Yeeeeesss.

Yeeeeesssss.

♪

Family kick you out?

You're gonna love
living at the spa.

All the mealy Granny Smith apples

and deodorant you can eat.

But I don't want
to eat deodorant.

I want my family.

What a weirdo.

Don't worry.
It's all good.

I've learned my lesson
and appreciate my family again.

This happens a lot.

I forget to value my family,
but then I remember.

So if you'll simply let
me back into my house...

This is our house now.

Listen up, clonies,
I'm the Original Stan.

You clonies
have to do what I say.

I don't think so.

We've realized that it
is we clonies... clones!

That are superior,
better than you in every way.

Goodbye, Stan.

[ Grunts ] Aah!

[ Screaming ]

[ Crashing ]

Make yourself at home, Stan.

We're watching Peacock.

Bullock, there's something
wrong with the clones.

They're being really mean
and talking crazy,

saying they're superior to me!

Sounds like everything is...

going exactly as planned.

What? This is why I
let you take the clones.

I needed them to realize
they were superior to humans!

And the only way to do that
was to have them

live with an idiot like you!

The only way?
The most fun way!

I can't believe this!

If only someone had warned me!

[ Sighs ]

Humanity is weak and flawed.

Your time has passed.

The future is clones, Stan.

Hey, why are you
calling me "Stan"?

You always call me...
Smith!

Watch out!

Two Bullocks?!
How could this be?!

What?!
He's obviously a clone!

♪

Aah!

[ Laughing ]

Oh, no! Now I know how those
delicious BK Broilers feel!

[ Both scream ]

[ Ship horn blares ]

[ Stan panting, grunting ]

Where am I?

Welcome to the
Island of Misfit Stans!

♪

What is this place?

I think I can answer that.

It's an island!

Yes.
But why all the...

Horrifying versions of you that
look like crimes against nature?

Well, you see, one of my
clone-project duties

included k*lling all the Stans
that came out... different.

But I didn't have
the heart to do it,

so I came up with this system
where the imperfect Stans

would secretly be shipped
to this island!

[ Vomits, coughs ]

Every breath I take
is like a little death.

He's our resident drama queen.

I finally did master the process

but then Bullock
turned on me, and here I am.

But I'm not complaining.
I love island life!

I got my hammock, my little Stan,

and all the raw monkey I can eat!

Yeah, this place is pretty sweet.

But don't just take it from me!

♪ Weird Stan, weirder Stan,
super-weird Stan ♪

♪ Yeah, weird Stan,
weirder Stan, super-weird Stan ♪

♪ We're the Misfit Staaaans ♪

♪ Weird Stan, weirder Stan,
super-weird Stan ♪

♪ And we love it heeeere ♪

♪ Weird Stan, weirder Stan,
super-weird Stan ♪

♪ I never wanna go ♪

♪ Weird Stan, weirder Stan,
super-weird Stan ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a freak show ♪

♪ Weird Stan, weirder Stan,
super-weird Stan ♪

I'm sorry, Smith.
This is all my fault.

When you start a clandestine
cloning program,

you never expect anything
to go wrong!

What happened?

Things went downhill

after I cloned myself
to wait in line

for the Jordan 5
Wolf Greys to drop.

My own frickin' clone
turned against me!

And now that Evil Bullock
has turned all the clones

against humankind.

He's been making
enhanced Stan clones.

They're planning on
taking over the world!

Oh, no! My family
is in danger!

Your family...

and the whole world!

I have trouble conceptualizing
stakes that high.

Let's just stick with my family.

Okay.

♪

Alright, first we clone
the President

and collapse the economy,

Then, we clone the Pope
and destroy their religion!

And then we clone
the members of Weezer,

break up the band, spend a decade

messing around with
indulgent side projects

until finally reuniting
to headline Coachella!

I'm a little behind.
Did you guys figure out

these are clones yet?

Roger, why are you in here?

Stan 4 found out that I was
also hooking up with Stan 7...



There was a hilarious scene
of me on six dates

all at the same Ruth's Chris.
Did that get cut for time?

I need to get back
to save my family!

And I need to get back for
my goddaughter's quinceañera!

But how will we get home?

Someone need a ride?

♪ Sail! ♪

-Hi, Stan!
-Hey, Stan!

-Hey, Stan!
-Hi, Stan!

This is amazing,
but I don't get it.

Why are you all helping me?

We may be misfits,
but we're still Stans!

We love Francine,
Hayley, and Steve

and tolerate Roger, Jeff,
and Klaus just as you do!

But. hey, could you move
slightly to the left?

You are standing
riiiight on my ba*ls.

♪ Sail! ♪

We know!

So... the aberrations survived.

Very well.

It's time.

[ Electricity crackles ]

♪

Understood.
We'll be there.

Oh, I'm getting another call.
[ Beeps ]

No, Klaus, I can't hang out
at the dealership!

I don't care that
the hot receptionist is wearing

"the sweater" again!
[ Beeps ]

[ Dramatic music plays ]

[ All grunting ]

♪

♪

This is horrible.

I don't want to watch
my daddies hurt each other!

Oh, you have to watch.

I shall relish seeing your face

as your father and your
belief in humanity die.

Wow. That was lame.
Embarrassing.

We all heard you practicing
your little speech

in the bathroom this morning.

You heard that?

Yeah, we did!
[ Laughter ]

I know you're scared of
these "Perfect" Stans.

But I'm here to tell you, Stans
aren't supposed to be flawless!

Flaws make us who we are!

Those other Stans may be perfect,

but it's our imperfections
that make us beautiful!

Really?

[ Vomits ]

Yes.

[ Heavy metal music plays ]

Charge!
For Narnia!

[ All shouting ]

Wow. The Battle
of the 400 Stans.

Steve: 400?
[ Record needle scratches ]

I'm not sure your math is right.

-By my count...
-Steve, don't be that guy!

It's the Battle of the 400 Stans!

♪ It's the Battle
of the 400 Stans, y'all ♪

[ Body thuds ]

[ Shouting continues ]

♪

[ Eagles screeches ]

♪

♪

[ Roars ]

♪

[ Gate creaks ]

I'm Cuddle Stan,

and I couldn't bear
to see you all...

Die, clone scum!
Die!

♪ You'll take my life,
but I'll take yours, too ♪

♪ You'll fire your musket,
but I'll run you through ♪

♪ So when you're waiting
for the next attack ♪

♪ You'd better stand,
there's no turning back ♪

♪ The bugle sounds,
the charge begins ♪

♪ But on this b*ttlefield,
no one wins ♪

♪ The smell of acrid smoke
and horse's breath ♪

♪ As I plunge on
into certain death ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

[ Screams ]

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

[ Both grunting ]

Don't worry, Smith!

I'm pretty sure I'm the good one!

[ Both grunting ]

♪

I should have known
it would come to this,

I'm gonna savor your death...

[ Laughter ]

So corny!

Shut up! You won't
be laughing when...

[ Metal crunches ]

Oh, crap!
I k*lled Stan!

I gotta get out of here.
I'm so drunk!

[ Engine revving ]

Ohh!

Oh, crap!
I k*lled Stan again!

[ Engine revving,
metal crunches ]

Clone Stan: Ohh!

Earlier, I thought
I learned a lesson.

But now I'm not so sure.

This beach is nice, though.
You guys wanna go swimming?

We've destroyed all
the cloning tech

and the enhanced Stan clones.

I just have one question left.

Only one?

I feel like there are a lot
of lingering questions.

How exactly did Dr. Weitzman
ship off the Misfit clones?

Was someone at the CIA
secretly helping him?

It was me all along, y'all!

Now enough yapping.
Let's party!

♪ It's a Misfit Stan
beach party ♪

♪ From the morning
to the end of night ♪

♪ Don't really have
a choice in the matter ♪

♪ If we leave,
we'll be shot on sight ♪

♪ Ooh, bop-bop,
ooh, bop-bop ♪

♪ Ba-ram-lam
diggity-dog ♪

♪ Ooh-woo-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, bop-bop,
ooh, bop-bop ♪

♪ Ba-ram-lam
diggity-dog ♪

Bye! Have a great time!