16x11 - The Green Tentacle/Happy Krabby Birthday

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

[Mr. Krabs]
Ahoy there! Make way!

Coming through!

[Patrick] There's room for three
right there!

-Hey!
-Hey!

Hey!

Ahh!

[loud crash]

Thanks for getting us tickets
to the big game, Mr. Krabs!

Speaking of...

Oh, yeah!

Here's what we owe ya.

Not a problem, boy-o!

Of course, you do remember
why I invited you?

Absolutely!

We're here to back Pearl up
when she does

the secret Krusty Krab cheer
you wrote!

Exactly!

Look how many people are here.

You can't beat free advertisin'!

Ooh, I can't wait!

Ever since
I was a little sponge,

it's been my dream
to be a cheerleader.

[burps, slurps]

[sighs]

Ever since two seconds ago,

it's been my dream
to find a toilet!

♪ fanfare music plays ♪

Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!

[grunts]

Holding it is the worst!

Patrick's bladder's gonna burst!

Go, Patrick!

But not before you get
to the bathroom!

Oh, that's good stuff, boy-o,
good stuff!

But save it
for the advertisement!

-♪ funny music playing
-[pained groaning]

[mumbling]

Whoa!

Hey!

There's gotta be a bathroom
around here somewhere!

Ohh! Sweet release!

[straining]

Hey! Get out of here!

This is the announcer's booth!

Well, I'm announcing
that I have to tinkle!

Turn around.

I can't go if you're watching.

-[zipper unzips]
-Mmm.

Stop!

[screams]
No!

Yes!

Oh, boy,
the game's about to start!

And here come the cheerleaders!

I'll bet Pearl can't wait to do
my cheer!

Let's go, Barnacles!

Let's go, Barnacles!

-Rah-rah-rah!
-Yoo-hoo! Pearly-girl!

Ready to help Daddy
sell some patties?

-Rah-rah-rah! Sis-boom-bah!
-Ohh.

I don't think she heard you,
Mr. K.

Oh-h*, don't you worry.

I'll get her attention!

[Perch]
Ladies and gentlefish,

the game is about to begin,

so let's get ready to cheer

for our own
Bikini Bottom Barnacles!

[Patrick]
And cheer
for my empty bladder! Woo!

[Perch]
Why are you still here?!

Get off the mic!

♪ fanfare music playing ♪

Ow!

[growls]

[both laughing]

Yeah!

Touchdown!

Oof, that is not a good start.

Well, it's a long game, right?
[chuckles]

Plenty of time for a comeback.

-Ow!
-[Perch]
That is some bad luck!

[Patrick]
Haha! He fell down!

[Perch]
What a sack!

[Patrick]
That didn't go their way!

Ah! [panting]

Huh?! [grunting]

[Patrick]
I could go for a pretzel!

[Perch]
Me too!

Let's go, Barnacles!

Let's go, Barnacles!

Rah-rah-rah! Sis-boom-bah!

-Yay! Yay!
-Rah-rah-rah!

-Sis-boom-bah!
-Yay!

[Perch]
You know, Patrick,
this game is going so poorly,

I'm running out of ways to say
"it's going poorly"!

How about "badtastic," Perch?

Ooh, I like it! Haha!

This is going
extremely badtastic

-for the home team.
-[groans]

It's a miracle they're only down
by one point!

Alright, girls, listen up!

Our team can still win,

but they need something special
to get them motivated.

They need... the ultimate cheer!

[gasp]

But, Pearl, we've never
successfully done

the ultimate cheer!

Becky still hasn't recovered
from the last time we tried it.

[weakly] Yay.

We can do it, Mitzy.

I know we can!

We have to, for the team!

Go, Barnacles!

Wrack 'em up! Stack 'em up!
Pile 'em to the sky!

Let's go, Barnacles. Do or die!

[straining]

Woo-hoo!

Holy moly, we did it!

Look, boy-o! Everyone's eyes
are on the cheerleaders.

Now's the perfect time
for me Krusty Krab cheer!

Pearl! Commence
Operation Patty Plug!

Krabby Patties, taste so great!

Krabby Patties,
you must buy eight!

Whoa...

[grunts]

[Perch]
This is unbelievable, folks,

but a cheerleader
appears to have the football

stuck in her blowhole,

-and the play is still going!
-[yelling]

[screams]

[grunting]

-[horn blows]
-It's one of those

touchy-downy things!

Even better! It was the winning
touchy-downy...

I mean, touchdown!

Barn-a-cles! Barn-a-cles!
Barn-a-cles!

Hi, Pearl!

We saw you at the game
last night!

Will you sign my tail fin?

Oh... [chuckles]
Thanks, everybody!

Just doing my part, I guess!

Hey, Pearl! There you are.

I've been looking all over
for you!

Hey, Coach Cod.
Sorry about last night.

I'll try to stay off the field
in the future.

Stay off?

No, I need you on the field!

With a bruiser like you
on the football team,

we could win the championship!

Really?

Oh, but I love being
on the Cheer Squad.

I don't know
if I could leave them.

-[school bell rings]
-Uh-oh!

-Whoa!
-I'm late for class!

Sorry about that!

Oh, what'd I tell ya? A bruiser!

Ahh!

[whistle blows]

♪ soft music playing ♪

Pearl!
Glad you decided to join us.

Grab a helmet
and get out there on the field.

Practice is just starting!

If you say so!

Why don't you show me
what you've got?

Okay! Here goes!

♪ upbeat music plays

Hm, we'd better start
with the basics.

There's no prancing in football!

You run... like this!

Oh, I see!

-[thudding]
-Whoa!

-Yow!
-[babbles]

Okay, okay,
that's enough running!

[rumbles]

Let's see how you are
at catching the ball.

Step one

is signaling to the quarterback
that you're open!

I can do that!

I have the perfect cheer
to get his attention!

F-O-O! T-B-A!

L-L is the game we play!

I'm open! I'm open!
I'm O-P-E-N, open!

That's enough!
Let's try some tackling instead.

Okay, team, show me some hits!

-Hut, hut, hut.
-[grunt]

-[grunt]
-Yeah! Good!

-Hut, hut, hut.
-Bring the pain!

[Pearl huffing]

Ten-yard line!

-Parking lot line!
-[huffing continues]

End of the line! [screams]

[loud thud]

Sorry!

[siren wailing]

[beeping]

Good thing this ambulance
was there to break my fall!

Okay, practice is over.

[blows]

Thanks everyone for coming
to our cheerleader auditions!

We've got some whale-sized shoes
to fill,

so let's see what you've got!

Doom and Gloom.

Black and Grey.

I hope you crush
your foes today.

Rah. Rah.

[sighs]

That was very... um, peppy?

Okay, next!

Hi, everyone! I'm Squidina Star,

and I'm making a documentary
about joining the cheer squad!

Just need to strap on
my POV camera

before I start my routine.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Huh!

Ta-da!

I think we'll wait for the movie
to come out.

Next!

My name is Frederica,

and I came here to cheer you on!

Woo!

[sniffles] That's my girl!

We're Bikini Bottom!

We came here to fight!

We will kick your booties
on the football field tonight!

When you see us coming!

For your safety you will beg!

But the only thing you'll hear
from us is watch out for...

My leg!

Oh, no! Frederica?! Oh!

My leg!

Don't worry, Cousin Fred,

I'm a doctor!

-Whoa!
-[thud]

My leg!

I'll help! Whoa!

-[thud]
-My leg!

Let me help! Whoa!

-[bone breaks]
-My Leg!

I'll help you, Fred!

-Whoa!
-[thud]

My leg!

This could take awhile.

Is there anyone who can
actually do a normal cheer?

I got someone
who knows all your cheers!

This is our chance, boy-o!

Once you make the squad,
you can get my cheer

in front of the masses!

I get it!

Whoa!

[sputters]

Let's go, Barnacles!

Rah-rah-rah!

Let's go, Barnacles!

Rah-rah-rah!

Well, he didn't break his leg.

And he's so light!

He's a dream to throw around!

That does it.

Welcome to the squad!

-Squee!
-[dings]

-[dings]
-[giggles]

♪ fanfare music playing ♪

Oh, my first official game!

I'm so nervous.

[Patrick]
Welcome back
to another exciting evening

of Barnacles Football!

I'll be your announcer tonight,

because I made it
to the bathroom first!

-[mic feedback]
-[toilet flushes]

[cheering]

Come on! What gives?!

Occupied!

Occupied?

♪ upbeat music playing ♪

Oof. The ball? What do I do?

Run!

[panting]

[Patrick]
Pearl has the thingy,

but these other guys
want the thingy.

Don't let them
have the thingy, Pearl!

[growling] Huh?!

[grunt, woozy groan]

[Patrick]
Home run!

[cheering]

I love football!

[grunts]

Oof.

-Ow!
-Oof!

Oops.

[thudding]

-Whoa!
-[crowd cheers]

[yells] Whoa!

[grunt]

[groan]

♪ music continues ♪

Whoa! Whoa!

[crowd cheering]

[yawns]

[whistle blows]

Touchdown!

Game over!

Barnacles win!

-[giggling]
-[cheering]

[giddy laughter]

-Ow!
-Yay!

Gimme a P! Gimme an E!

Gimme an A-R-L!

What's it spell?

Hold on, don't tell me!

I'm still adding it up.

[cheerleaders chant]
Pearl! Pearl! Pearl!

Hey! I coulda done it!

What are you playin' at, boy-o?

You didn't do
my Krusty Krab cheer!

Sorry, Mr. Krabs.

I'll do it next game, I promise!

See that you do, SpongeBob.

See that you do.

[school bell rings]

So cool!

Will you sign my shell?

[mumbles]

Thank you!

♪ groovy music playing

Oh, hi Pearl! Love the attitude!

-You've really changed!
-[yawns]

Yeah, no duh I've changed!

I'm the greatest football player
this school has ever seen!

Come on, boys. Hike!

Pearl! Pearl! She's our girl!

If she can't do it,
I'll totally hurl!

[hurls]

Hey, Pearl. Boy, I'm worried

about tonight's
Championship Game!

Come on, Coach!
Another game, another win!

Take a look at this footage
of our opponents.

The New Kelp City Delinquents!

Their entire team

has been held back in school
for decades.

These guys are bad,

I mean from their gills
to their tail fins!

So maybe we should just forfeit.

[whimpering]

Pfft. They only look tough
'cause they haven't met me!

[both cheer] Yeah!

-[grunts]
-[thud]

[Patrick]
Ladies and gentlemen,

your Bikini Bottom Barnacles!

[intense cheering]

[tires screech]

♪ rock music plays ♪

[Patrick]
And here
on a work release program...

-[growls]
-The New Kelp City Delinquents!

[roaring, grunting]

-[loud gasp]
-Alright, team.

Come on, listen up.

Normally I'd give a pep talk
right now,

but I think this time
would be better spent

saying goodbye
to your loved ones.

Come on, hands in.

[all] Let's go, Barnacles!

Oh, yeah, and I heard
the Delinquents

may have mined the field,

so just be careful out there.

♪ ominous music plays ♪

Come on, guys,
it's just a few mines.

We can do this!

Let's show 'em what Barnacles...

are made of?

[whimpering]

[grunts, inhales]

Whoa!

-Ahh!
-[rumbles]

♪ rock music plays ♪

Woo-hoo!

Let's go, Barnacles!

That whale's me daughter,
and she's never lost a game!

[giggling]

Oh, yeah?!

Well, that's my boy out there,

and he's never lost a game
either!

♪ rock music plays

[dusty exhale]

What, him? He's in high school?

What year is he?

Five years
into a ten-year stretch.

He might graduate in eight
with good behavior.

Well, me Pearly-Girl
is gonna make him wish

he had graduated on time!

Oh, really? Wanna bet?

Yeah!

If the Barnacles win,

you gotta give me five bucks!

And if they lose...?

If the Barnacles were to lose,

free Krabby Patties
for all of youse!

[cheering]

What?

I'll take that bet!

[yelps]

SpongeBob, what're you doin'?

That's worth a whole lot more
than five bucks!

Don't worry! How could we lose?

We've got Pearl on our side!

Mwah!

Welcome back, Barnacle Heads,

it's another exciting night
of bowling ball!

[crowd cheering]

[Patrick]
And here's the big kick!

Looks like he found a hole
in their offense!

Pearl's gonna return the kick!

She's off like a racehorse!

And now she's being crushed
like a racehorse!

Wow! Pearl's not gonna let
all her crushed bones stop her!

[grunts] Okay.

I might have been
a little overconfident.

But we can still turn it around,
right, team?

[pained, woozy groaning]

-[crowd cheering]
-♪ tense music playing

[yells]

[whimpers]

Wah! [grunts]

[whistle blows]

[Patrick]
Folks,
Pearl is the only Barnacle

left on the field,

but they're going
to let her play on!

Good luck to ya!

[laughs]

[gasps]

[growling]

These guys are gonna k*ll me!

Oh, what do I do? What do I do?

Hey, Pearl, you look nervous.

I'm gonna share
a special cheer with you.

My grandma taught it to me.

When days are tough
and things go bad,

grandmas help you not feel sad!

If Gran's not here
and you're still blue,

remember to just be you!

Just be me.

Yeah!

Oh, thanks, Grandma!

Mwah! [giggles]

♪ tense music playing ♪

Grandma is right.

I liked being a football star,

but I love being a cheerleader!

-♪ intense music plays
-[snorts]

[whistle blows]

[all yell]

[player grunts]

Sis-boom-bah! Sis-boom-bah!

-[yelling]
-K-R-U! S-T-Y!

-K-R-A-B, my-oh-my!
-[grunts]

The Krusty Krab is open late!

So buy some patties,
they taste great!

Krusty Krab!

-[giggles]
-[crowd cheers]

Me cheer!

She's doing me cheer!

Thanks for nothin', SpongeBob.

[grunting, groaning]

We've got fries and sody drinks!

And one more thing...

-[crowd gasps]
-The Chum Bucket stinks!

[Patrick yells]
Goooooal!

Pearl! Pearl! Pearl! Pearl!

[horn blows]

Game over!

Delinquents win!

Hey, everyone!

Free Krabby Patties!

[cheering]

Huh?!

[weeping]

Oh, I can't believe
I lost the big game.

Oh, well, don't be too hard
on yourself, Pearl.

That was the best score
we've ever had

against the Delinquents!

We'll definitely get 'em
next year!

Thanks, Coach,

but I won't be coming back
next year.

Tonight helped me remember
my first love:

cheerleading!

Besides, I think there's
an opening on the squad.

Get back here!

You can't be a cheerleader
if you're not a student!

[SpongeBob] No! No! I won't go!

-No! No! I won't go!
-Stop cheering!

Please don't take this
away from me!

[manic laughter]

Hey! Perch!

The bathroom is yours, my man!

-Ahh!
-[thud]

Game over...

[woozy groan]