10x20 - Now Teller Won't Shut Up

[bunniefuu]

- From the Penn and
Teller Theater

at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas.

Here's our host, Brooke Burke.

- Welcome to the show, everyone.

It's high noon here
on the Fool Us stage,

so get ready to watch
some dramatic magic duels.

But before we pull the
trigger on tonight's show,

we have to make our legends walk
ten paces to center stage.

So giddy up, Penn and Teller!

- Any magician
who hits the bullseye

and fools our gunslingers

wins a trip
back to the southwest

to perform in the desert
alongside Penn and Teller.

And now it's time for
our first magician

to take their best shot.

- Magic is an Irish tradition.

Older than time.

Our folklore is alive with
witches and the banshee

and the queens of
the fairy realm.

And that's why I call
myself Nikola Arkane,

to connect myself to the
old and arcane ways.

I'm actually a trained actress,

so I like to create characters.

I fell into magic accidentally.

I took a job in a theater

without knowing the director
did magic on the side.

I took to it instantly.

It must have been
the Irish in me.

Now in Belfast,
the town I call home,

I'm a bit of a fixture
on the magic scene.

Magicians have welcomed me
and encouraged me,

and I really feel
I've found my voice.

It's an ancient one connected
to enchanters and tricksters.

The changes that have happened
are pretty darn awesome.

I've grown as a person
thanks to magic.

- It's time for some magic by
Irish wizard Nikola Arkane.

- Is this everyone?
Yeah?

Good, you're all just in
time for the ritual.

Penn, Teller, Brooke.

Each of you have a pen
and a tarot card,

like the one I have here.

If you could now take the pen

and sign your name
right across the card,

make it big and bold

so that your cards
cannot be duplicated.

Perfect.

Thank you, Penn.

Thank you, teller.

And thank you, Brooke.

- Penn.
- Yeah.

- This is your
signature, correct?

- Yeah.

Sorry.

- No.
- Let's try something.

Try and pull your signature out
from in between the cards.

- Pull my...

- Without touching
the other cards.

- Without touching the other
cards, pull my card out?

- Yeah.
- I don't think I can do that.

- So you would say
that's impossible

to pull your card out
when it's in between

without touching it.

- I would think so, yeah.

- Okay.
Remember that.

- Okay.

- So, being a magician...

being from Belfast,

and being a woman,

I am quite often accused

of witchcraft...
cheating.

And I do not want to be accused
of cheating here in Las Vegas.

So, I have brought along
something to help.

My anti-cheating device,

or as I like to call it,

my lucky Irish handkerchief.

Over here,
I have four more tarot cards.

These represent parts of me,
my personality.

We will use these,
and of course,

our signed cards.

Let the ritual begin.

The devil,

the devilish part of me,

is laid down first.

On top of which,
I put your signed contract...

card that you signed, Brooke.

Thank you.

The magician is next.

The magical part of me,

and it goes on top,

trapping your card
from above and below,

making it slightly
troublesome to remove.

As you might have noticed
when you tried earlier, Penn.

- I did.

- I have waited so long
for your signature.

Judgment is next,
and this does not mean

that I am a judgmental person.

You guys are the one judging me.

But I will judge this signature,

and it is a valuable one
for my collection.

Thanks, Teller.

The fool and foolish part of me,

and of course,
the final signed card,

which hopefully
you will remember

and recognize and symbolizes...

my name.

The cards are now isolated
and interlaced

with the parts of me.

And I'm now wrapping them up
inside this handkerchief

to isolate them further
from my feminine wiles.

Despite all that,

I will attempt to pull them out.

Pull our signed cards
from in between the parts of me

wrapped tightly within
this handkerchief.

And if I manage to do that,

that must mean...

I'm really good.

And all that is left

at the end of this
ancient ritual...

are the four parts of me.

And that is hocus pocus,
b*tches.

- Nikola Arkane.

Ireland must be a very
magical place, is it?

- Very, very magical, yes.

- And who is Fiz Wizz Pop?

- Fiz Wizz Pop is a character
that I perform for children

and she's kind of a bit
bonkers and crazy.

She has crazy hair.

- What do you think magic brings
to the life of a child?

- I think imagination
is a wonderful thing.

And if you give children
the key to unlocking the door

to their imagination,
anything is possible.

Amazing.

- Okay, let's see if your hocus
pocus has earned you a trophy

to take back to Ireland.

Boys?

- Nikola, Nikola, Nikola.

You're doing something
very difficult,

which is you've got a trick

that has a lot of
procedural stuff in it.

And procedural tricks
put all the emphasis

on your character,
your personality,

and holding the stage.

You did all that so well

and using the Ireland stuff
and the witch stuff

and all that was very good.

And it was also really
targeted to us,

people who know the card through
the handkerchief trick,

and gave us a wrinkle
in something

to really have to work on.

And we did have to work on this
and we did get a few ideas,

but you know, we're not going
to give you too much

because we magicians
have to stick together.

But I think I give you a rough
idea of how we think you did it

and we don't think you fooled us
as great as it was.

But what do you think, Nikola?

- They know I'm a witch.

- But we're not burning you.
We're not burning you.

- Thank you.

- Thank you so much.

Nikola Arkane, everyone.

- This party is far from over.

In fact, we are
just getting started.

More "Fool Us" is coming up.

- Welcome back, everyone

and focus up because our next
magician is coming your way.

- I'm one of the worst
dancers in the world,

but I love to go dancing.

I come on the stage clumsy
as hell

and I think people can see
themselves in me a little bit.

I'm one of the worst
painters, too.

So what?

I do it anyway?

Two things I'm pretty good
at our music and magic.

My parents are both musicians

and they shared
that world with me.

Magic usually is a very visual
art and I love the sound, too.

So when I perform magic, I try
to do magic with the sound

and I think it's something
very interesting.

People say I'm like a child
always hunting for fun.

And I think this is a good way
for a magician to be

because a child sees magic
everywhere all the time.

I try to get the people
to see the world as a game.

Today is a very
important game for me.

So I want to play it.

- From Spain, please welcome
the magic of Rubi.

- Rubi, everyone!

Hi.
- Hey.

- That was amazing.
- Thank you.

- How do you prepare for
a trick like this?

- The mirror.
- The mirror.

- Always the mirror, yeah.
Always, always.

- I'm gonna wipe some of this
yogurt off of you, okay?

- Thank you.
- That's okay.

You seem very in touch
with your inner child.

Do you bring those emotions
into all of your acts?

- Yeah, I love it.

And I love clowning,
you know, clown.

The clown is a great art for me.

- So you took those qualities
and you made it work for you?

- Yeah, I think so.

- All right, it's time to put
Penn and Teller on the spot.

- Are you ready?
- I love it.

- Boy, what a nice routine.

The audience just loved you
all the way through.

We loved you all the
way through.

The whole kind of
magical object there

in the middle was
just wonderful.

Now let's get to
the difficult part.

This is a really tough one
for us, really hard.

We had a tough time because
you're doing coin moves.

And there are only so many
things you can do with coins.

And there's only so many moves
you can do with a cup.

And we kind of felt like
we knew those moves.

But here's where it gets tough.

Everybody else where we
say this kind of,

we knew the moves
you were doing.

We knew what you were doing.
We knew this. We knew that.

Every one of those
people we say,

well, we saw something
we shouldn't have seen.

There was one glimpse.
There was one moment.

And when we see that,

we see one mistake in a whole
routine, our whole heart sours.

And we go, well, we kind
of know the other stuff too.

We feel like if you'd
made one damn mistake,

we would have busted
you on everything.

But you did everything.
And this is hard stuff.

And it's stuff that
we probably know it.

But you were perfect
so you fooled us.

- Congratulations.
Really well done.

Thank you so much.
Rubi, everyone.

Looks like our boys
just got got.

- Got got.
- Got got.

Is that a real thing?
- That's right. Sure.

Will they be fooled again?

Well, come back and find out.

- There you are.

You are just in time
for our next magician.

Take a look.

- I came on "Fool Us" to make
Penn and Teller laugh.

How many of you get the
sense that something cheesy

is about to go down?

- I was willing to do
pretty much anything

to make that happen,
and I fooled them.

Then people started taking
my magic seriously.

So I put together my own show
right here in Las Vegas.

I've learned a skill
called regurgitation.

Every night I got better
at reading the room,

landing the jokes, blending
the magic and the comedy.

I met my fiancé when
she came to my show,

a show that I would not have
had if it weren't for "Fool Us."

So I'm back to say thanks,

and this time I'm not here
just as Vinnie Grosso,

the guy who does comedy.

I accept the
job description now.

I'm here as a magician,
and that's who I'll always be.

- Welcome back, two-time
fooler Vinnie Grosso.

Thank you.

In the many years of "Fool Us"

I have found that there are
two types of magicians

that fool Penn and Teller.

The first is the
really clever kind.

These folks have a
tremendous amount of talent

and diabolical methods.

Then there's me,

someone with no shame
in using gimmicks

to distract Penn and Teller.

Now, since my last appearance,

I've spent a lot of time
honing my magic skills.

But having said that, I'm still
going to use a gimmick tonight.

Let's start with Brooke.

Do you mind bringing
your phone with you?

- Sure.
- Your phone?

- Sure.

We're going to start
with something random,

literally random.

Penn, your book, "Random."

- Okay.
- You have it right there?

- I do. I carry
my book with me all the time.

- What I would like you to do
is open your book

to a random page facing me.

- With hands are the pages?
- Yeah, there we go.

Okay, you can close the book.

- Okay.

- I have a photo and you can
hold on to your phone again.

- Okay.

- Penn is not the
only author here.

I have some more books.

This one is Teller's.

"When I'm dead, All This
Will Be Yours."

I also have Brooke's,
"The Naked Mom."

- Ooh.

- It's not a picture book.

It's a lovely, honest memoir.

- So not naked.
- Yes.

- And I have a copy of my book.

Well, I have lots of copies
of my book and priced to sell.

But this is
"Exposed and Fearless,"

which you all will
be happy to know

there are no photos
in this book.

Penn, I would like you to
choose one of these books.

But before you make that choice,

I also want you to know
we're all judging you.

- Okay. One of those
three books, "Naked Mom."

- "Naked Mom." Did that
feel like a free choice?

- The only choice
I was going to make.

- Thanks, Penn.

- But I said we're all
judging you, right?

- Yeah.

So in your mind, you're like,
Brooke is the host.

I mean, people are going to want
me to choose the host's book.

I mean, what kind of monster
wouldn't do that, right?

- Right.
- Okay.

So now that you know how I could
have influenced your choice,

if you'd like to choose
a different book you can,

or if you think I'm full of it,

we can stick with
the "Naked Mom."

- "Naked Mom," please.
- All right.

Brooke.
- Yes.

- I'm going to flip through
your book like this.

- Okay.

- And I'd like you to just
say stop whenever you'd like.

- Stop.
- All right.

Is this good?
Or do you need me to adjust it?

Go back some pages,
forward some pages.

- I'm good with that.
- You're good with that?

Okay.

So we have a
magnifying glass here.

- Okay.

- Can you see that if I
move this magnifying glass

around on the book, I can
isolate different words, right?

- Yes. Yes.
- Okay.

That's exactly what
I'm going to do here.

But Teller, I'm going
to ask you,

if you wouldn't mind
indicating to me

when you would
like me to stop, okay?

Down, left, right, or down.

Okay.

Brooke, can you let us know
what word we stopped on?

- "Maybe."
- All right.

Let's think about this.

We have a lot of words in these
books, and we chose one book.

Not just the book,
but the spot in the book.

And then from the spot,
we chose a specific word.

Every time we had a choice,

we had an opportunity
to change our mind.

Now, sometimes we didn't,
but sometimes we did.

And we got to the word "maybe,"

and that had to
be random, right?

- Yeah.

- Random.
Penn's book, "Random."

Brooke, can you
open the phone up

and go to the photo that
we took of Penn's book?

- Okay.

- Now, Penn has a very
distinct finger.

What word lies
beneath his finger?

- My gosh.
- It's "maybe."

- "Maybe."

Let's show it to the camera.

- My goodness.
- Maybe not so random.

- Wow.

And maybe Penn and Teller
would like these.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Vinnie Grosso, everyone.

- Very super cool.

So you've been here
several times.

- Two times.
- Two times.

- Yeah.

- But one of those times,
you were naked?

- Yes. That was the
first time I was here.

- Slightly bummed I missed that.

- No, I think you should be very
relieved that you'd missed that.

- How important do
you think comedy is

in the experience of magic?

- To me, it's the
most important thing.

- Because I think when
it becomes just about magic,

it's then a puzzle.

And then people are just trying
to figure out how it's done,

as opposed to maybe just having
an overall great experience.

- Okay, Vinnie.
Are you ready?

- Ready or not.
- Let's see if you have

to make room on your bookshelf
for a third "Fool Us" trophy.

Boys?

- Hey, Vinnie.
- Hi, Penn.

- Now, you know this.
You're a good friend of ours.

And it's a great trick,

and it's a wonderful trick
that would fool almost anybody.

But you fooled us twice,
you b*stard.

And you want to play rough,
we'll play rough.

You said you were going
to use a gimmick.

You actually used two gimmicks.

One of them is really old,
really, really old,

based on a thing called
the erasure shield,

which you may not even know,
but that's what it's based on.

And the other one is really
new, new, new technology.

And then you did this
incredibly flattering thing,

using Brookes' book,
using Teller's book,

and of course, using your book,

just to keep it even, you know.

And then you kind of
made a big mistake, Vinnie,

because you let me hold my book.

And I know this book.

And I also know that if you had
someone else hold this book,

they wouldn't have held it
the way I held it,

because I was playing to win.

You know, some other people,
if they're from, like,

Korea, or Sweden, or Spain,
we don't play that rough.

But you are a friend of ours,

so we are going to
kick your a*s.

So when I was holding
the book, Vinnie,

I noticed some things.

You know, Teller and I,
we've been around.

You know, we're wise guys.
We notice things.

I held the book open,
then I closed it.

And you know, I noticed things,
Vinnie.

Two out of three
ain't bad, Vinnie,

because we notice things.
We notice things.

- Aw...
- See you for coffee.

- Okay.
Thank you, guys.

- Thank you.
- What do you think?

- I think, for certain, they
know exactly how I did this.

Thank you, guys.

- Nicely done, Vinnie.

- Vinnie Grosso.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Stay where you are,
because we've got something

really special for you
when "Fool Us" returns.

- Welcome back to "Fool Us".

Here comes our next world-class
act, check them out.

- Hi, my name is Gonzalo,
I'm 14,

and I came from a small town
in Spain, Cáceres.

Magic wasn't a common sight in
Cáceres when I was growing up,

at least not until
I discovered my passion

for it at the age of four.

First, I did small tricks
with my sister,

who is an excellent assistant.

But before long, I was doing
bigger appearances and even TV,

and I even got to meet some of
the greatest magicians in Spain.

I'm good in school,
and I can speak English,

French, and Chinese.

And along with the school, I
attended a technology academy,

which taught me
robots and coding.

And so I learned twists to mix
all these things with magic.

Now, I will face Penn and
Teller with some magic

I programmed on my own.

Penn, Teller, I've watched
"Fool Us" since I was a baby,

and I can't wait to show you

what you have inspired
me to create.

- Please welcome 14-year-old
wonder kid, Gonzalo Mateos.

- I am so excited to
be on this show

with two of the greatest
magicians of all time.

First of all, Penn, I'd like
you to give this deck a shuffle.

- Okay, I'll do my best.

I'm not a good shuffler.

- I came from Spain to show
you something I invented.

It's an artificial intelligence

that's able to find any
freely selected card.

As you know, one of the
greatest magicians of all time

was named Dai Vernon.

So, in his honor, I call
my invention AI Vernon.

Thank you, Penn.
- Okay.

That's the hard part of
the trick. Done.

- And Teller, I want you
to shuffle as well.

Awesome.
- Much better than mine.

- Now, think of any suit.
Don't tell me what it is.

Do you have one?
Great.

Now take all the numbered cards
of that suit out of the deck

and put them in a pile face down
in the order that you find them.

While, he does that, Brooke,
could you join us, please?

I'd love to.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hi, boys.

Now, Brooke, I want you to
take one of Teller's cards.

- Okay.

- Don't look at these or
let anyone else see it.

And please put it in
your pocket.

- Don't look at it or show
it to anyone.

- That's right.

- And I don't have a pocket,
but I'll hide it for you.

- Okay.

Now, Penn, it's your
turn to pick a card

from the rest of the deck.

- The rest of the deck, okay.

- You can show it to everyone.
I won't look.

And then put it back
in the deck.

- Okay.

Like the Master Robo Detective,
that he is,

AI Vernon will now hunt down
Penn's chosen card.

Penn, please,
could you come here?

- I will, yeah.
- And rotate the phone.

Rotate it, please.

Getting closer.

- Observe how it narrows
down the possibilities

to these few cards.

Let's get rid of
the rejected ones.

You can go back to your seat.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

- I am over here if you need me.

- Penn, out of these four cards,

Vernon thinks one of
them is yours.

Saying it's this one.

- Yeah.
- But let's make sure.

Saying it's this one again.

Penn, for the first time,
what was the card you chose?

Jack of Clubs.

- Just as Vernon predicted,
the Jack of Clubs.

- Now, my invention would
try to find Brooke's card

using a second method.

For these, I'll need a new deck.

I'm going to pass this deck
in front of Vernon

one suit at a time,

until it identifies
Teller's chosen suit.

Spades, not this one.

Hearts, not this one.

I think it's this one.

Let's make sure.

Not this one.

Saying it's this one again.

Teller, is this the suit
you selected?

Great, it's working.

Now...

Let's look for something
more difficult, the value.

First, I'll change the setting.

My invention will now scan
and analyze each card

and indicate which ones
I should eliminate

until only one card remains.

Not this one, not this one,
not this one.

We're getting closer.

It's saying it's this one.

Brooke, for the first time.

Could you take out the card you
chose and show it to everyone?

- Yes. Okay.

- The four of clubs.
- Yes.

If it's true that my invention
found the suit correctly

and discarded all of
the wrong cards,

then this could only be
the four of clubs.

- But wait, wait, wait.

AI Vernon is not done yet.

Penn, Teller, do you remember
at the beginning

you both shuffled the deck?

Yeah.

And then Teller randomly
selected a suit

and removed all of
the numbered cards.

My invention has
one final surprise.

And in the process of
finding all of your cards,

if it worked correctly,
it has done something else.

It has magically arranged

the remaining cards
into a matching order.

Ace, three, seven, two,
nine, five,

and the whole order matches.

- Wow, wow.

It's amazing.
Gonzalo Mateos, everyone.

Come on over here.

- You were great and you really
managed the boys so well.

- Thank you.
- Such confidence.

- Thanks.

- Tell me about Vernon,
for most of us who don't know

who that great magician is.

- Dai Vernon was a
Canadian magician,

most known as The Professor.

He is an awesome magician

and he created some
awesome techniques, tricks.

- And now
you've captured his spirit

and you've put it
into a mobile phone?

- An AI. Yeah.

- How did you come up
with this idea?

- I love technology.
I love magic.

And I felt like magic was
starting to get outdated.

So I wanted to mix
my two passions,

technology and magic
to make something new.

That's how I came
up with Vernon.

- What does your family think
about you being here with us?

- They love it.

- I've seen these shows
since I was a baby.

So they've known
this show as well

and they're as excited as I am.

- Okay, Gonzalo,
let's see if you

and your incredibly smart phone
have Fooled Penn and Teller.

Are you ready?
- Yes.

- All right, let's check in
with the boys. P&T?

Gonzalo, you're 14 years old.

Yes..

- Now the programming on
the phone, did you do that?

- Yes.
- That's yours?

- Yes.
- All of that?

- Yes.
- Amazing.

And you use that
brand new technology

coupled with some very,
very old things.

There's one thing, I don't
know if you know this or not,

but it's Charles T. Jordan

that had the one idea
that you used there.

You're 14 years old and you do
so much better than we do.

- Thank you.
- Or specifically than I do.

I think that we should give
you incredible accolades

for simply not bursting
out laughing aloud

by saying the greatest
magicians of our time

and then you big dope,
you can't even shuffle,

what the hell is wrong with you?

You were raised so properly

so that you didn't
spit in my face

when I shuffled so badly.

Incredible poise.

There's stacks and
stacks of things

you do so much better
than we do.

And the combination of
the old technology

and the new technology which
you did yourself is phenomenal,

but I don't think you fooled us.

But you will next time,
I'll guarantee you that.

- Gonzalo, sounds like they
have a pretty good handle

on your trick.

- They got me.

- We really enjoyed that.
You were incredible.

- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.

They got you.

- We love you.
We'll see you soon.

Gonzalo Mateos, everyone.

Don't even think about
going anywhere.

We've got more of TV's
best magic on the way.

- Welcome back to "Fool Us."

Las Vegas is known for its
celebrity impersonators.

Cher, Elvis, Prince,
you name it.

So it's only right that
we bring out the top

Penn and Teller impersonators
that Vegas has to offer.

So please welcome
Teller and Penn.

Good evening.

My name is Penn Jillette,
and this is my partner Teller.

We are Penn and Teller.

We hate magic.

In fact, we hate card tricks,
because card tricks

seem to us to be
intrinsically wimpy.

- Ha! That's all I do?

Good. Fine.

- Harder to keep quiet, isn't
it, than you thought, Teller?

- I'm going to take
this deck of cards,

and I'm going to riffle
down the cards.

And, miss, I'd like you
to yell, yo, or stop,

or whatever seems appropriate
to your character.

Ready?
- Yes.

Stop.

- That's the card.
We're going to use.

That's the card we
must all remember.

And now I'm going to
lose the card in the deck

and make it very difficult
for Teller to find.

We'll make it even more
difficult for Teller to find,

because we are going
to blindfold him.

We're going to blindfold him
with this

absolutely opaque
velvet blindfold.

I'll prove it to you.

You, sir, in the second row
in the white jacket

and the plaid pants.

You can't see my eyes, can you?

- No, I cannot.

- No, he cannot see my eyes.

Now we will blindfold Teller.

Here we go,
just like this. Yeah.

Yeah, making it a
little more challenging,

by cutting off not only
your sight, but your oxygen.

Now let's see.

I'll mess up the cards
a little to show you can.

Teller, that's a sharp knife.

You should be more careful.

Let me move the cards around,
and now go ahead, stab.

There we are.

And is that your card,
the Queen of Hearts?

- No.
- It's not the Queen of Hearts?

Ha!

God, jeez.

Blood, mother, mother,
blood, blood, blood.

Is that your card?

- The six of clubs.
- Yes.

- Thank you.

And...

And you can see,
the kids just love it.

The kids love it.

You'll be talking about this to
a court appointed psychiatrist

in about 20 years.

This is perhaps the best example

of what Penn and Teller
stand for.

We take an ordinary
dull card trick,

and we add just
a little bit of class.

Call me a sentimental old fool,

but I'd like you to have this.

Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Teller and Penn.
- Gross.

Great job, Penn and Teller.
Or is it...

Penn and Teller.

Either way, we've got to go,

and we'll see you next time
on a brand new "Fool Us."

Good night, everyone.