16x03 - Exchange Student Driver / The Kreepy Krab

[bunniefuu]

[seagulls squawking]

Are ya ready, kids?

[kids] Aye-aye, Captain!

I can't hear you!

[kids] Aye-aye, Captain!

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish! ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

[Painty the Pirate laughs]

[jaunty flute music]

Argh!

- [seagulls squawking]
- [waves crashing]

♪

[tires screech]

Mrs. Puff, should I
be using my blinker?

[screams]

[screaming continues]

♪ harmonious music plays ♪

[people] Aw!

[people scream]

[SpongeBob yowls]

Ninety-eight, 99...

Huh?

[cheering]

[screaming]

[grunts]

If only I could find a way
to get SpongeBob out of my hair!

Did you say something,
Mrs. Puff?

Oh! Uh, nothing, SpongeBob!

I did way better than yesterday,
didn't I, Mrs. Puff?

Yesterday...

- [tires screeching]
- [car crashes]

What's this?

"Foreign Student Driver
Exchange Program."

[gasps] Exchange program?

This is my chance
to be rid of SpongeBob!

[SpongeBob]
What was that, Mrs. Puff?

Uh, I was just admiring
this amazing opportunity!

Ooh! What's the opportunity?

A student driver
exchange program.

What do you exchange
the student for?

A student from a faraway
magical country

called Klopnod

comes here
to learn our way of driving.

Magical country of Klopnod?

Oh, it's amazing.

I just have to find a student
to send there.

Someone that loves fun.

I love fun!

A student that lives
for adventure.

I live for adventure!

A student that wants to learn
how to drive more than anything.

I want to learn how to drive
more than anything!

It's such a big honor.

Ah. I just don't know
who to send.

Oh! Pick me! Me!

I want fun, adventure,
and learning!

Oh, please pick me!

[Mrs. Puff] Well, if it means
that much to you, SpongeBob,

you can go!

Thank you, Mrs. Puff!

I can't wait!

Neither can I.

Here's your introduction letter!

♪ Fast-paced classical music
plays ♪

[grunts]

Hi-ya!

[creature growls]

[tires screech]

[music stops]

♪ jaunty brass music plays ♪

[tires squeaking]

♪ dramatic musical stinger ♪

Oh! I got mud all over
my introduction letter!

You must be
exchange student SpongeBob!

Um, uh, y-yes, sir...

Most student not know
the Klopnodian Mud greeting.

[laughs]

You ready for to learn
how to drive?

[chuckles] Oh, I'm ready!

♪

[whirring]

[knock on door]

Hello! You must be my... [gasps]

exchange student, Peppercorn.

[brays]

Oh, you only speak Klopnodian.

I hope this language barrier
doesn't impact my teaching!

- [sheep braying]
- SpongeBob.

Ready for meeting
your fellow students?

I'm always ready to meet
other driving enthusiasts!

Students!

[various animal sounds]

Everyone, this SpongeBob.

He is foreign exchange student
from Bikini Bottom.

[various animal sounds]

Excuse me,
Mr. Driving Instructor, sir,

but these look
like farm animals. No offense.

[laughs]

In Klopnod, only animals
allowed to drive.

It's safer for everyone
that way.

What a fascinating culture.

Enough making talk.
Let's get learning!

Oh yeah! High five!

[mooing]

Before we getting to driving,

we go over rules of road.

Rule 1: If you are seeing
your shadow

when you first enter road,
go back to garage for two weeks.

- Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
- Rule 2:

Jellyfish always
have right of way,

except on odd days of the month.

Mrs. Puff never taught me
any of this stuff!

[Mrs. Puff] Alright, Peppercorn.

Time to get behind the wheel

so I can assess
your driving skills.

[braying]

[shudders]
Still better than SpongeBob...

Let's start with lesson one,
shall we?

First, check your mirrors.

[loud munching]

This is going to be a long day.

- [tires screeching]
- [Mrs. Puff screaming]

[Peppercorn braying]

[whimpers] Now slow down...

Hmph!

Good! [sighs in relief]

Check your blind spot,
use your turn signal,

and merge from the walkway
into the street!

- [tires screech]
- [Mrs. Puff whimpers]

[gasps] You did it!

Peppercorn, your driving
is flawless!

I think you're ready
for freeway driving!

[braying]

And that is all of rules.

Now for to make
with the driving!

Oh boy!

Where's the engine?

[instructor] Students take turns
being engine.

[moos]

Keep calm, SpongeBob.

Driving is the part you usually
mess up back home.

[wheels squeaking]

Okay, no sign of my shadow...

Go. Go!

Going! I'm going! I'm going!

[SpongeBob screams]

[screams]

[screaming continues]

[grunting]

[SpongeBob screams]

[moos]

Oh, I've failed again!

I'll never learn how to drive!

What? You crazy?

You greatest driver I ever see!

R-really?

- [sniffles]
- Look!

[chickens screech]

♪

Wow! Everyone here
drives like me!

- Here.
- Huh?

♪ Inspirational music plays ♪

You've earned this.

[gasps] A turnip!

Yes. Don't eat. Read other side.

"Official Klopnod
Driving License issued

to SpongeBob SquarePants."

Huh?

Oh!

♪ Music swells ♪

Now go.

Peppercorn, with great pride,

I present you

with a Bikini Bottom
Driver's License.

[braying]

I'm so proud of you!

I know you have to go back
to Klopnod...

[sniffles] ...but remember,

you always have a friend
in Bikini Bottom.

[brays]

[sighs]
There goes the best student

I've ever had the honor
to teach.

- [knock on door]
- Peppercorn?

♪ Disappointed music stinger

Hi, Mrs. Puff, I'm back!

Oh. Hello, SpongeBob.

They kick you out
of driving school already?

No, I graduated!

A Klopnodian Driving License?

You passed? How?

Huh, guess I just needed
a change of scenery.

Allow me to show you
my new Klopnodian

licensed driving skills?

Well, I have to say,
I am curious.

[French narrator reads text]

[screaming]

What do you think
of my Klopnodian driving skills?

- [alarm blaring]
- They don't translate

to Bikini Bottom!

- [tires screech]
- [Mrs. Puff yells]

SpongeBob, we're headed
for Volcano Gorge!

Turn the wheel!

I'm turning!

[screams]

[SpongeBob and Mrs. Puff scream]

We're doomed!

Mrs. Puff, look!

[Mrs. Puff] Peppercorn!
We're saved!

- [gasps]
- [tires screech]

[grunts]

♪

I guess I'm not ready
for driving

in Bikini Bottom just yet.

Here, Peppercorn,

you deserve this license
more than I do.

Looks like I'll be seeing you
bright and early

for class tomorrow!

[yelps]

♪

[wolf howling]

[birds chirping]

Good morning, Master!

[snarls]

Time for Master to sleep tight

and bite the bedbugs good night.

[chuckles]

I brought
your favorite bedtime tea.

Blood Orange.

Hold the Orange.

[both laugh]

Huh? Whoa! Whoa!

Woe is me!

Whoa!

[screeches]

[snarls]

Master!

I'm so sorry!

[snarls]

I'm... [gulps] ...fired?!

Please, Master!
I beg your forgiveness!

[grunts]

I suppose I deserve this.

♪ Dramatic pipe organ playing ♪

[wind whistling]

[snarls]

[French narrator reads text]

[humming]

[screams]

Oh, hi, Slappy,
what're you doing in there?

Waiting for the waste man

to properly dispose
of my withering, worthless soul.

Aw, you're not withering.
You're my friend!

Without a master, I am lost.

Whose coffin do I polish?

Whose fangs do I sharpen?

[sobs]

I need to serve somebody!

Anybody!

SpongeBob!

Quit your lollygagging
and get back to work!

Those customers
won't serve themselves!

[indistinct complaining]

That is a lotta customers.

It looks like we could use
some help today, Mr. Krabs.

Help?!

I'd love to be at your service,
Mister Master.

Ugh! You?

Sorry, I can't afford to pay
another hand. Huh?

My old master paid me
in insects.

Ooh!
An exterminator and a server?

That's a two-for-one deal.
You're hired!

Allow me to take your coat?

Wow, thank you.

- [customer yelps]
- No, thank you, good sir.

Now that's the tip-worthy
service this place needs.

Keep it up!

May I take your coat?

Uh... But I'm not wearing a...

- Whoa!
- Enjoy your meal!

[chuckles] Thanks!

[scoffs]
This guy is the creepiest weirdo

Mr. Krabs has ever hired.

- [bell dinging]
- Hi, Squidward.

I stand corrected.

[Slappy straining, grunting]

Are you ready, Mr. Freddy?

Your fresh food awaits you.

♪ Tense music plays ♪

Oh my...

leg!

- ♪ suspenseful music plays
- [screams]

Scaring away the customers?

Ha! Mr. Krabs
is gonna love this.

Oi!

Hey, Slappy, great work so far.

The customers love ya... Mostly.

But let's not feed the customers
anything too unusual...

like their own leg.

Oh, good point!

Arms can be so much juicer.

Uh, how about serving our
customers what they ordered:

Krabby Patties.

That's a novel idea.

Great!
Glad we're on the same page.

[clears throat]

Welcome, madame.

Mwah!

Ooh. [giggles]

I must say,

your tuxedo
is maître-d'-lightful!

[laughs]

Oh, thank you.

It's the suit I was buried in.

Ooh! Oh my...

A sophisticated lady
like yourself

deserves the best seat
in the house.

[whimpers]

Put me down!

May I start you off with
a Slappy-tizing Krabby Patty?

No! Please no!

Please, I insist.

I'll even chew it for you.

[loud chomping]

[screams]

[whimpers, screams]

[Mrs. Puff yowls]

[Slappy] Oh!

I am offended!

Okay, as head waiter,
who can I help next?

[screaming, clamoring]

What's with all the screaming
out here?

Mr. Slappy!

You're creepin' away
all me loyal Krustomers!

Aw, don't worry, Slappy.

Mr. Krabs is very tolerant
of mistakes.

I'm sure you can...

You're fired!

I deserve this, Mister Master.

I can no longer accept

your generous payment
for my terrible service.

[gags]

Urgh.

Oh, it is a shame though.

I've invited lots of friends
to eat here

so I could serve them.

Hmm?

Lots of friends, eh?

So when would these
"lots of friends"

be comin' aboard?

After dark.

[laughs maniacally]

[laughs maniacally]

[laughs playfully]

Okay. You're unfired.

For now.

Ooh! I had better hurry

and fix this place up for them.

- [bats squeaking]
- [wolf howls]

♪ horror music playing ♪

One Franken-patty
for Master Frankenfish.

Would you do the honors?

[grumbles]

[brain growls]

[all] It's alive!

[growls]

[moans]

Patty good. [belches]

A spare for Mister Were...

wolf! [chuckles]

- Bone appétit!
- [pants]

And for The Invisible Fish,

an invisible dish.

I'm on it!

[splatting]

[Slappy] Oh!

Hold the invisible mayo!

- Oops. Now I have to start over.
- [dish shatters]

Hey... [gasps]

Monsters!

Slappy-lad! What is
the meaning of... [gasps]

this?!

You're making me rich!
Keep it up!

[Squidward] Mr. Krabs...

Help me!

Cheer up, Mr. Squidward.
Monster money is still money.

Good news, everybody!

All you hideous beasts,
and your money,

are welcome
at the Krusty Krab anytime!

[cheering]

- ♪ ominous pipe organ playing
- [thunderclap]

- [murmurs]
- [all] Nosferatu?!

My old master?
You don't look too good.

[growls]

What's that you say, Master?

Without me, you have nobody
to cut your hair,

sharpen your fangs,
or keep you in black and white?

[snarls in agreement]

[hisses]

You... need me?

Oh, you don't know how long

I've wanted to hear you hiss
those words.

I love you, Master.

[all] Aww! I love you.

I love you, Mast...

Back to work boy-o.

[snarls]

Of course, Master,
I would love to come back

and be your lowly minion!

- [Nosferatu screeches]
- [Slappy laughs]

Wee!

No! Slappy! Don't leave me!

You were supposed
to be my lowly minion!

[indistinct angry chatter]

Ooh, angry villagers?!

Yes, we are angry!

- But we're also hungry!
- [villagers] Yeah!

Hangry villagers, eh?
Ooh, even better!

Right this way, unruly mob.
We'll scare up some food for ya!

Ahh, nothing brings everyone
together like Krabby Patties.

Even angry villagers
and their mortal enemies:

monsters.

[all gasp]

- [grunting in anger]
- Oi!

Are those monsters?!

[monsters grumble]

Get them!

[fighting grunts]

- Oops.
- Oh well.

I still have the monster money!

[snickers]

Huh?

[gasps]

Monster money is bugs!

♪