01x05 - Nahtag

[bunniefuu]

Sitting in the Panda the dollar bills

make money♪

Tomorrow Gucci Prada Roli Rararri

My b*tches are wearing fur and

diamonds on safari

Bring your Domo weed to the party

Sitting in the Panda the dollar bills

make money

Tomorrow Gucci Prada Roli Rararri

My b*tches are wearing fur and

diamonds on safari

Bring your Domo weed to the party♪

OK, cut!

Hey, Jara, now you're really sh**ting it,

I need some smoke,

it's a f*cking bong, not a lollipop!

Bravo, girls, let's keep it up!

Hey, I'm already fully loaded.

You know

She poked Tristan in the eye.

Hey, that was really great, congratulations!

Thank you.

For all those who have not yet had a

margarita, here is the second round

with me at the bar!

Very cool!

All together:

Fricker, Fricker, Fricker!

Juni, can you bring me the coat?

Come on, let's go!

Let's do it again.

And grandma, you're on the move, come on!

Unfortunately, we now have to say goodbye to

say goodbye to Mrs. Brotz,

we thank her for having been so active

supported us during the last years,

we wish her a good continuation,

a safe return home and

and much professional success in the future.

Thank you very much, thank you, thank you very much.

He's a f*cking n*zi!

Say, Pirmin,

we should go to Rüedi.

The one from whom the Herens cow was stolen.

If Rüedi was groping my udders every day,

I too would have left long ago.

Well, I'll wait in the car then.

Are you coming?

MY SISTER'S CHILDREN'S THINGS.

BAX

Yes, Erasmo?

Say, I still haven't received anything.

- What do you mean, really? Wait a minute.

- Yes, of course.

The Wi-Fi is driving me crazy.

A 64 character hexadecimal password

of 64 characters.

And I have to enter it every time.

Oh no, you poor thing.

I'm not allowed to say this, but they have

prepared an aperitif for you.

- Really, why?

- Hans-Ueli had only good words.

I think they want to give you a promotion.

It's time for someone to clean up

the Wild West Township.

Since Rappaz, nothing has happened there

except for extra expenses and movies.

This police station should have been

closed already ten years ago.

- What do you mean, it's going to be closed?

- Hmm. Yes.

But the people involved

have been suspended.

That's good.

You know what this will do to your resume!

But you have to send me the report.

- Yes, I'm still working on it.

- Tell me, uh

I still have to go buy Prosecco

Or do you prefer Roseco?

Hello?

Ursula, can I have another schnapps?

You've really had enough.

But this will be the last one.

What brings you here?

Ibex hunting.

What kind of cowboy are you?

You can get one for 10,000 bucks.

Wow, you have to have them already.

Yes, you just have to go to the

the municipality.

Hey, hey.

Isn't that the cop

who hit the kid?

He's looking over here.

Yes, yes, that's him.

I've seen him several times before.

He's a shady guy.

Ah, Bax. Be careful.

Uh, have we met before?

No.

We weren't together

in preschool or anything like that?

Not that I know of.

So can you tell me why

looking at me like that all the time?

Screw you, hey.

And don't ever come back here again!

You b*stard.

I know, you send each other

all kinds of emoticons,

peach, eggplant,

and everybody knows that this is not about

taking vitamins or a smoothie.

A rocket?

Gerda!

I don't think you're

you are fit to drive.

Gerda,

give me a chance again.

Come on.

Of course, I don't know

your level of sexual education,

but when a girl sends up a rocket,

either she wants a rocket ice cream,

or she wants to sleep with you.

And anyway, I've never been

excited about rocket popsicles.

Hi Bro Smetterling is starting to wake up!

Hallelujah

Delete

Looking for something?

Found it!

- Are we going to eat somewhere? At De Courten?

- So, if anyone knows how to cook in Valais,

it's this guy with multiple stars

Gault&Millau and Michelin stars.

We don't do couple therapy in Valais,

we prefer to leave our money with De Courten.

This week is very bad.

We are not making any progress on the case.

And a white lady at the Froheim?

Sorry, I have to go.

Or something else? Happyland for example?

Valmira,

Valmira,

Valmira, come on, we have to go.

What's the matter?

Fricker is dangerous.

- He's not who he says he is.

- Dude, leave me alone.

Did you even sleep on it?

He totally screwed us!

Valmira!

Trust me, he's playing with us.

Come, come, I have to show you something.

Yes?

Mrs. Brotz!

I thought you had already left!

- I haven't sent the report yet!

- I thought you had what you wanted.

Yes, but I have something for you,

that you should look at.

Uh. I'm about to leave.

Yes?

- Your colleagues have been waiting here for ages.

- Tell them I'll be right there.

Do you see the red hatching?

Raron?

All parcels of Fricker,

which have been dezoned.

He lost at least 200 million.

And the construction sector in Valais

has also seen better days.

Fricker did not only buy Lamborghinis

during the good years,

but also building land on a large scale.

on a large scale.

As a result of the new law on land use planning, this

the man has dezoned plots of land to him.

It's not a lot of rental income

that he can collect now, but at best

but at best cow dung.

Fricker is ruined.

And what do you want to tell me?

Extra income from drugs

could very well save Fricker's business.

Fricker's business.

Isn't that a bit far-fetched?

Why else would Fricker have put

two poor drug addicts out of circulation?

Because they are friends? Unlikely.

Fricker hired them to take the goods

the goods across the border.

Bax was probably right.

Ms. Brotz, I don't know if this is

is still your responsibility.

I suspended my best man, and now

I have to bring the troop back into line.

So, if you'll excuse me.

Do you know the bowling motto?

Any idiot who has ever bowled knows the

knows the motto.

Play it smooth and don't be a smart a*s,

otherwise you'll damage

the lane and the pins.

Man, I'm telling you, Juni:

this is a very ordinary cellar key!

Did you wake me up for this?

Can't you see my face needs sleep?

And why would a cellar key

be hidden in the tomato sauce?

I did some research.

DVX has nothing to do with the video player.

So what?

It's not DVX at all,

it's Latin, the V is a U.

So what?

Il Duce. These are the initials

of the Italian fascist Mussolini.

In the old days, they used keys like this

to set off expl*sive charges.

What?

Even though Juni was pretty doped up,

he wasn't entirely wrong.

I think Fricker is a n*zi!

- Juni, man, what the hell are you talking about?

- Nothing was a coincidence

- he wanted us to find the truck.

- You're just being paranoid.

Maybe you should smoke a little less pot.

Look at all the stuff he's offering us.

So just be grateful.

What he offers you.

All this here is for you.

What do I get out of this?

I knew it. You are jealous.

But no problem, I'm going to check

with Romi and Claudi.

At least they don't make drama like you.

- They know how to behave like professionals.

- No, but Valmira, that's not fair.

If you think that with Romi and Claudi

it will be better,

then you should go to them.

But I really worked hard

to be a good manager for you,

to clear the way for you,

so that you can start a career

And now. You're just a bimbo

who's only after fame and money.

And you know I've seen that enough with Heidi Klum.

You can't and you certainly don't want to

manage this kind of thing.

I hope you'll be happy.

What a b*tch!

Bax! Open up, it's me!

Hello.

Come on, I know you're there.

I brought you some apple cakes.

Did you see the first race earlier?

If that doesn't get you a place on the podium

The level of the women is incredible

Hey, Bax

What did you do?

Hmmm, really delicious. From Regina?

No, I made them myself.

The ones below are cinnamon,

Regina almost likes them better.

Are you getting along again?

Yes

Hey, thanks for the baby stuff.

Breakfast for the champions.

Did you have a visitor?

I have visitors regularly.

It was crazy yesterday.

When you walk into Toolips in uniform,

the women throw themselves at you.

Did you go to Toolips?

Yes

It was a great night.

Didn't it close last month?

Hmm?

Toolips was the most awesome local in the valley.

But since the Fribourg-Gott����ron switched after

their pelvic floor training on the Gemmi,

the facility no longer has any personal resources.

Did you do it again with Gerda?

Hey, Jesus Mary!

I don't believe it, Bax,

you'll never learn!

What should I do?

I lost my job,

look at this, I live in my aunt's garage.

Gerda doesn't want to be with me anymore,

she only wants to sleep with me.

And this smoothie tastes like sh*t.

I can't even cook.

- You have something in your nose.

- I don't know.

Soon, this whole thing

will be forgotten.

At the latest when I am the head of the store,

I'll make you come back.

It's the usual way in Valais.

The affair of the stones with Varone,

the hunger strike of Rappaz.

Or the guy who stole the election documents

from the mailboxes.

Tomorrow, no one will ask you

where last year's snow went.

You're a really good guy, Pirmin.

And I'm really sorry for putting that

you in the buttocks.

- Hey, Bax.

- But I didn't know they were yours,

I thought yours would be hairier,

because you're a little less hairy on your head.

Please don't waste this moment.

I just wanted to tell you that everything

- I don't ever want to shove anything up your a*s again.

- is going to be okay.

Promise?

Wow, hey, f*ck!

Hey, your, your your ear!

Yeah, and Jara, Jara threw up in my pool.

But the gardener

is going to put it all back in order.

Look at these movements.

This is great!

So, if the video goes viral, I'll tell you,

Loredana can pack her bags.

Tell me, where is Junior?

He must have gone home.

He didn't want to stop by for brunch, did he?

He needs some time to himself.

Can you give me the sugar cane?

I have to put some on.

There, in the cupboard.

Thank you.

Rinaldo

Yes?

How was the grass

we got for you?

Hey, the absolute mega flash.

Morning Morning Gloria?

Hey, I've already smoked most of it,

I need you to bring me back some more

quickly.

Don't you want to call Juni back

and ask her to come?

I made about 20 pancakes

and he likes them like that.

With my aunt's maple syrup in Canada.

Look at these hot croissants

Now this sh*t is over.

Tell me what's going on here, or I'll sh**t

in your big, fat, f*cked-up noggin.

Valmira, what are you doing?

- Are you almost finished?

- Shhh. I'm almost there.

That's it.

Perfect.

Done.

Hey, how could you not notice that?

Yes, I did notice that there was

a little strange.

Oh, my God, Bax!

No, please.

Too much information.

Holyfield also noticed that two hours

after his boxing match

that he was missing a piece of his ear.

Yes, but we didn't hit him

with a bottle of schnapps on his head.

Don't touch.

Remember to disinfect twice a day

and not to go in the water.

Can you give me something

for the pain?

You can take a candy from the reception.

You sissy.

He's in room 315.

Who is?

Your colleague.

I sent you a message this morning.

And what did these ladies

inhaled again?

But I just wanted some friends.

When my wife left me

for the field hockey player

I found myself alone.

Then I heard your music,

and I met Junior.

Why didn't you just go on Tinder

to find someone?

Well, because I'm only looking for friends,

and not the mediocre sex.

And have you seen the price

of a subscription on Tinder?

I really thought that what was between us

was genuine.

And that you thought I was nice.

Tell me, Valmira

Would you mind putting the g*n down?

It's not locked.

- Yes, of course, sorry.

- I can really explain everything.

Hey, didn't he just jump?

No way, he's in a coma.

Hey, don't you think a "women's scar" is going

will form here?

What's up?

Yes, a scar that drives women crazy.

Hey, look, he's doing it again!

I think he wants to tell us something.

What are you doing!

We can't get in!

Hey, do you want to lose your job too?

A little more.

What do you want to tell us?

He already has a mispronunciation! And now

we stick a trunk like this in his mouth!

- I don't understand anything!

- Hey, what are you doing here?

He's waking up,

he wants to tell us something.

You're causing me a lot of trouble!

- Hey, shut up, please.

- We're leaving right away. Smetterling!

Can you please put away the Taser? Pirmin!

We're leaving right now!

If you don't leave now,

I'm going to send 50,000 volts through your a*s.

All right, let's go

You sissy.

Smetterling was a vegetable.

And I realized

what I caused

with my selfish behavior.

I really started to doubt myself.

"Sometimes a good cop has to go

beyond his limits",

Pirmin said.

The only thing I did,

was to send the trainee

across the country line.

Children, if you also doubt yourselves,

never forget what I tell you now:

It's probably just your f*cking brain

that's misfiring,

or needs a little sugar.

Because you should never doubt.

Question your actions,

but never, never doubt yourself.

Pirmin and I were standing there,

and suddenly everything made sense.

The scales fell from our eyes.

I put all the pieces of the puzzle together,

and I thought about what my grandfather

always repeated:

When the bell wags,

you don't have to think for long.

Achim?

This loser was afraid of a taser!

Maybe I just didn't feel like being

to be pierced by 50,000 volts

and to have my sphincter out of order.

You know, I don't wear diapers

like you, Mike.

Hey, what's next,

it's not over yet.

Oh

I would love to tell you about it,

but unfortunately it's not for people under 12.

My mom already let me watch movies

for people over 18.

I've already seen a few movies with naked women.

- So, you really want to hear the story?

- Yesii!!!

- Not a word to Ms. Lötscher, okay?

- Yes.

Achim?

What kind of key is that?

This key can destroy everything you hold dear.

Your home,

your parents,

your brothers and sisters,

your pets

and also all of you.

Okay, kids, let's take a little smoke break

and then we'll start again.

Damn, and air it out, it stinks in here!

Give me again

a chance, Gerda

Hey, Rafi

Is the anthoanthropometric service

What the hell!

Hey, look at his YING profile!

I always hit the bull's eye.

It's too dry.

- Ah, too dry.

- Yes.

Yes.

Oh yes, now!

Yes.

What?

Don't squirt anymore.

Ah.

Mario, are you still there?

Uh no, no uh, definitely not.

And set.

Yes, what do you mean, "and set"?

Dude, what do I do with this one?

Can I have some air?

Bax is smoking, I'm sweating I

I'm not okay right now.

Hey, what are you doing here?

He screwed up.