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02x10 - Episode 10

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Dva holma". Aired: April 28, 2022.*
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What will happen, when, as a result of a Biological w*r, almost the entire human population dies?

02x10 - Episode 10

Post by bunniefuu »

(Larisa)
- I propose to evict primates

and close the city for quarantine. Who agrees"?

Unanimously.

(wearily)
-Hi friend.

Please open for us.

-Ay!

What the...

- Quarantine dome...

-What?

- Quarantine is isolation
during an epidemic. Barbarian.

-The same was in mother Israel,

when the epidemic broke out
cutting farfel.

So...

He also blocks the network!

Are we supposed to stay here?

-Don't worry. I'll take care of you, friend.

-And I.

-Forward! Well, quickly! Go here!

(Larisa)
- Primates, you are not allowed to be

under the quarantine dome.

Leave Two Hills immediately.

-Forward! Walk, walk, dirty primate!

- Better put us in your prison, huh?

-Get out of our city, contagious.
- We do not want to return to Moscow.

-Where's the Baron? Bring back our leader
he is like a father to us.

- Well, quickly! Go here!

-What's happened?
-a*s to your movement.

-Go ahead!

- Muscovites

no longer people.

Is this my mom arranged?

- The city now has a different mother.

- I swear by faith and truth

serve the Two Hills again!

-What's going on here?
- You're a bad mother.

You have been removed from your position.

-Interesting. Does Yadviga Kristinovna know?

-At a meeting of the United Mothers

she got a vote of no confidence.

And sent to the sanatorium "Naroch".

And I was appointed a new Mother.

Here is the resolution, take a look.

And now about the sad.

As a result of contact with primates

our city collided
with an unknown illness.

Virologists called her

"mouse neuroherpes".

But calmly, without panic.

All Muscovites have already been expelled,

their home has been disinfected.

But it is not known

how many they managed to infect girlfriends.

Therefore I, together
with the corporation "Maternity",

prepared for you
educational and warning film.

(Larisa)
- Girlfriend, what's wrong with you?

Do you want something?

So take advantage of the new
"Lily of the Valley 6S Pro Mini".

-No!

I want to have sex with a primate.

(Larisa)
-Attention!

This is the most common symptom
mouse neuroherpes.

-Hi friend!
-Hi friend!

Judging by the mood
Are you taking a pottery class?

-No. I'm going to have sex with a primate.

They are better than any "Lilies of the Valley".

-Can I come with you?

(Larisa)
-Attention!

This virus is transmitted verbally.

And even with a glance.

But what can you do to avoid getting infected?

- Here's what we know
about mouse neuroherpes.

It affects the ears and eyes.

Therefore, we recommend:

special helmet from bad thoughts.

-But how to walk in it?

I can not see anything!

-Shhh!

Words are contagious.

(Larisa)
-Don't worry, friend.

Larisa built into the helmet
will always show you the way.

Turn left after two meters.

Road to a speedy recovery.

The film was produced with the support
Corporation "Maternity".

-Girlfriends!

You can leave the house
only by quar code.

Even if you have a helmet.

And with a virus that flies in the air,

we can do it with
urban quartzing.

-And helmets are for us
Have you closed your eyes and ears?

-Elena Zoevna, you communicated so closely
with the leader of the primates.

I went to Moscow to see him.

And I wouldn't be surprised if you even had sex.

(everyone gasps)

-What nonsense?
-Girlfriends!

Friends, this is a prime example for you.
advanced form of neuroherpes.

-Girlfriends! Friends, this is not true!

I'm afraid in this case
even medicine is powerless.

Thoughts need to be healed.

You will sit under the apple tree,

until it blooms.

-Girlfriends!

Friends, why are you silent?

Asya, don't you see
what is she doing wrong?

Yes, take off your clothes.

Clothing is also clearly contagious.

(Glad)
-Yes, what is it!

Mom, where are you?

-All.

Campaign, covered shop with electricity.

-Oh! Now shampoo.

-And my Uvochka.

Do you remember Larisa's voice?

He is so soft and melodious.

(Bag, shrill)
-Koldyr!

Well, go pick up the leaves,
stuff my pillow!

- Worse than a whistle.

I'm flying, I'm flying!

(laughs)

- You have a total of nine mushrooms.

And I have 348 berries.

-Dolbak, this is a wolfberry.

-There was a wolf - it became mine.

- Sweet dreams to you.

Darling.

Do you remember lentil patties?

And the stomach is easy, and energy for the whole day.

- Are you lying down like a d*ck on your thigh?
Go for firewood, we'll freeze at night.

-And you that, someone on the Baron crowned?
Actually, I'm his right hand.

- You're his left egg.

(vomit sounds)

-Rada, I told him it was wolfberry.

"Wolf" does not mean poisonous.

- You knew very well

that we don't understand
in your mushrooms and berries.

-Tygodakh.

-Sorry. I did not know,
that this swoon will feed you.

- So, you can poison me?

It just dawned on me.

Glad he just wanted to eliminate
your... friend.

(scream)

- Wow, wow, good! What are you guys doing?

-Anarchy!

Without the Baron, we are a stupid herd.

-Enough.

- Larisa, prison regime.
-I'm doing it.

-Hot water - an hour a day,
there is one perlovka in the printer,

from entertainment - only a window.

- Klava, don't be so strict.

The main thing is that he does not go out into the street.

- Oh, Verochka.

Somehow I knew that we would meet.

And you, skin,
under any mother of the city you creep?

- Vera Nadezhdovna,
I am very uncomfortable with this situation.

We risk it all
leaving your primate in the city.

-Klava, what kind of thoughts are these?

Maybe check you out
for murine neuroherpes?

Lie in a mental isolator...
-No need! My thoughts are pure.

-Free.

Sasha...

Well, you already understood
that you can't get away from me?

- And yet, Verochka,

you really like power.

- I haven't had control over you in a long time.

Good luck.
-Yes.

- Get yourself in order, I'll look in the evening.

-Guys! Come here.

This is our production calendar,
so that we don't all quarrel.

-Is this the sea?

- No, Klyazma, probably.

-OU! Are you listening to me?

-Well, yes.

-So. What day of the week is today?

- But who knows him? We haven't counted for a long time.
-Fine. Let's say it's Monday.

Mondays for water, food and firewood

Koldyr answers...

Bag and Rat.

On Wednesday they are relieved by Puzo, Toothless and myself.

And then on Friday...
- Hey, what are we starting?

Let today be Wednesday
and let his belly srakotan and tears.

-Listen, baldhead,
I'll cut off your face now.

-Calm down!
-Give me some water.

- And now we'll look,
Whose turn is it to go for water, right?

-Your turn.

And tomorrow too.

Went.

-Intelligible.

-Here's our leader.

- She would have a beaver stream.

Instantly put on his feet.

-Where does this stream flow?

- In a beaver.

-Then go and catch beavers for Rada.

- So I'm generally a hunter, so-so.

-Go and don't come back without the beavers.

-OK then.

My leader.

(lively music)

(music changes)

- I gave birth to a boy from one boy ...

-Unfortunately, Claudia too
murine neuroherpes was confirmed.

We loaded her into a mental isolation room
so that the infection does not spread.

And so it will be with everyone who managed to get sick.

And with very unpleasant situations
my new adviser will handle it.

-Who would doubt that.

- From 19:00 all friends must stay at home.

We will hold a universal city quartzing
in the fight against the pandemic.

-... the square where the former Mother of the City
has been since this morning.

I wonder when the apple tree will bloom
and Elena will be allowed to go home?

Friends, can we make a guess?

"Mother" - guess the exact date

and get the opportunity to tell your friends:
"I told you so!"

(cheerful music)

I wonder what she's thinking now?

Oh, and if neuroherpes
transmitted through the screens?

It's probably best to stop broadcasting.

What is my boy doing here?

- Bored.

-Now let's play! Here, choose a toy.

-ABOUT!

Oops, I wanted another.

- Shh-sh-sh!

(whistling)

Sasha...
-A?

- What kind of lentil patty is this?

It's the first time with you.

- Verochka, well, you know -

I am a free bird.

I'm suffocating in a cage.

Let me out for a walk.

Run, get some air.

Well, where can I go from under the dome?

-OK.

-And what's that?
-Quar code.

-ABOUT!

Code!
-Yes.

- How are you, friend? Do you feel better?

-A little. Indeed, it is very cold.

And how did you warm yourself in Moscow
without electricity?

- The crowd lay down in one room
and hugged each other. And it's okay.

-Ah, then you f*cked my wife,
yes, b*tch?

- But warmed up.

What do you want from me!

-Quiet!

- Hey people!

Look what fun I found.

And don't care that there is no telly.

So, sort out the books.

-Where's the beaver?

- Oh, Yulik...

The thing is, I almost got him

but he, an infection, at the last moment
dropped the tail

and - whoop! - swam away.

- Oil you useless!

- Glad, but do you want me to read aloud to you?

"50 shades of grey".

(vomit sounds)

- Take it away, it stinks like a swamp.

-Gerdos!

Listen, thanks for the firewood.

Let's get through the night.
-Eh, what are you?

What are you doing, huh?

What are you doing?

-Leave it. Flare up, popret.

-Stand closer, I'm cold.
Let's get closer, closer.

(Larisa)
-After 14 meters 42 centimeters

sharp turn to the right.

-Zadrala!

(Larisa)
- Tired of my voice? You can choose another.

For example, Mother City.

(Vera's voice)
Hi friend! Where shall we go?

Or the fashionable singer Shellfish.

(in the voice of a shell)
Hi Hi!

Attention! Collision Probability
with a friend. Take left.

Ah ah ah! Helmet in this position
ineffective against the virus.

Put it back on right away.

You've gone off track. You've gone off track!

-Shut up, I need to go to the apple tree.

-Your route is an oak grove and back.

- Yes, you went to hell!
-He went to hell.

- Stop, primate.

- I have a Quarcode.

We found you on it, animal.

(Larisa) -Attention!
Urban quartzing begins.

Get out of the fresh air immediately.

- Girls, let's go.

- Leave the city streets immediately.

- So, you're coming with me.

- Ran away.

-Quartzation is fraught with skin burns
and involuntary urination!

- And the hogweed too.

We climbed, we know.

-Idiot!

(Larisa)
- I'm starting the countdown.

There are ten, nine left before quartzing ...
-Let's!

-...eight, seven, six...

-Let's!
-...five, four, three...

-Sasha! What are you doing here?
"I've come to free my princess."

-...one.
-I know how to get out of your warm lands.

(Larisa)
- Who did not hide - I'm not to blame.

(whistling)

-Mother!

Dear Mother of the City!

The baron kidnapped Elena
and heads for the border.

-That b*tch!

Turn up the quartz to the fullest.

Let's make a barbecue out of them.

(whistling)

- Be patient, Lenok, there is not much left.

(tense music)

-Sasha...

Sasha!

(with difficulties)
- Yes, listen to me carefully.

Swim to the dome...

Dive in there...

And you are free.

(sobbing)
- I can't swim!

-Yes, f*ck your mother!

-Sasha...

Sasha!

Crap!

(music turns on)
-Glad?

(Gaza Strip - "Collective Farm Punk")

(Hera)
-ABOUT! Physical education hello!

Meet - this is a dynamo machine.

It actually generates electricity.

- So uh...

Ah!
- Yeah.

-It's black magic!

Sorcerer e***!

-Exactly! Therefore, books should not be burned,

but to read.

Now the heater will work.

- Well, get down. Electricity must
get the strongest.

-And if you add one more,

You can sell electricity in Two Hills.

Glad,

Everything will be fine!

-Certainly.

Almost died from berries

then cold.

Where is my mom?

(disturbing music)