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02x06 - Episode 6

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Dva holma". Aired: April 28, 2022.*
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What will happen, when, as a result of a Biological w*r, almost the entire human population dies?

02x06 - Episode 6

Post by bunniefuu »

(male voices, laughter)

(Gaza Strip - "Collective Farm Punk")

-Girlfriends, we approach, we buy -
all for 25 points!

Dude, do you need earplugs?
-No.

-I know how Gerdos snores.

-Leave me alone?

- I also sing.

(Elena)
-Follow everything

to not a single unpleasant situation.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hello, daughter.

Are you at work?
- Yeah. Maybe coffee?

-Let's.

- Throw a ball on the glass!

Let's go somewhere else for coffee.

- Get out of here.
- Well, pour some coffee!

(policewoman)
- Stop! Stop!

-ABOUT!

I'll sort.
-What oil!

-To what I brought Two Hills!
Greta sees, I wanted the best.

-Watch out!

Hello.

Give you a lift, friends?
- No, we'll get there.

(squish)

(vote)
-Ugh!

(policewoman)
-Stop immediately!

Well, go away.
Well, stop drooling!

How are you not ashamed?
Near the sacred apple tree!

(Larisa)
-Policemen of our city

detained two natives
nearby shack.

They are accused of salivation
with language penetration

by prior arrangement.

(everyone makes noise)

-Calmly. Keep calm.
- Aren't you ashamed, hamsters?

What if my daughter sees you?

-Let them return to their saliva exchanger
and there they pound on the lips.

- Friends, friends!

I fully share your outrage
And I promise that those responsible will be punished.

Will it be a fine or deportation -

the court will decide.

- Judgment again.

-Girlfriends,

Well, they're not evil.

They just love each other.
We love each other too

but we behave ourselves.
- They just didn't know

that's not accepted here, right?

- It turns out that there will be no trial!

After all, according to the Constitution, ignorance of the law

exempt from liability.

-Yes!
-Then let them learn our Constitution.

-Of course, and we are right now,

all together, let's learn it, right?

I love you, girlfriends.

- Well, just according to the Constitution, ignorance ...

-Nothing, they'll be back, b*tches.

My feet will kiss.

Brrr...

What did you say?

Close your mouth!

You know a lot, Rat.

I prepared you as successors -
and you to me, huh?

Knife in the back!

Dandruff you ungrateful!

Oh... Yurets!

Yurika, what are you doing?

I gave you a roof over your head

social points full of rings.

Just in everyone's a*s
did not kiss!

And you with your behavior
already half the city turned against itself.

- So this, but what, I can't
kiss your wife, or what?

-They are husband and wife

and a kiss is a symbol of love and happiness.

- Yeah.
-Certainly,

not that kind of kiss

which they arranged, but still.

In general, let's kiss at home.

-And how long will they last?

-Do we have options?
-Eat.

Do not bend under a friend's world,

let it better bend under us.
-Poetic.

We'll make a holiday
dedicated to salivation.

Bright, cheerful, so that everything sang and danced.

Why invent

if there is already a wedding?

-Wedding? Yes, I remember.
Is marriage a union of a man and a woman?

-Yes. We, if anything, do not mind.
We can get married again.

-No, this event should trigger
Have girlfriends delight, not disgust.

Hera, it's you.

You must find yourself a wife
among two hillbillies.

You were the first to hit Two Hills

and you are a symbol of our movement.
So who if not you?

-A...
-I agree.

- Wow, even the bag broke more.

- Well, Artist,

let's finish ours.

(intro to the song "Black Raven")

Never mind, come back.

You will cry: "Barosha, I'm sorry."

And all. No Barosha.

- Stop!
- No, no, Artist.

Don't answer me.

Yulka?

-Waited for the moment to show up spectacularly.

Artistic courses.

Well, you know.

-Girlfriends!

Girlfriend, I heard this!

(distant noise, screams)
-Happiness to the young!

(approaching screams)
-Wedding! Wedding! Wedding!

-What's going on there?

-Music is playing, it doesn't get quiet.

When a husband kisses his wife, it becomes envious!

- Friends of the Two Hills, you are invited
to the main square for the wedding of Iya and Hera.

- I love the wedding so much.

The dress from the oil age is so purple.

Very uncomfortable, but insanely beautiful.

- Hera, a wedding is an endorphin waterfall!

- Lucius, come with you.
will we arrange a wedding too?

- Oh... No, no, no, guys.

Here is another principle.

(rhythmic music)

(Faith)
-Let's go!

-Let's go celebrate. There will be fun.

(music, noise, funny screams)

-Happiness to the young!

-Khomiki staged a whole parade.

I'm with these perverts
I will not sit at one table.

-As they say, for the young.

- I told you, no alcohol.
The whole city is whispering about your screwdriver.

- Yes, it's a lavender latte.
You picked all the booze yourself.

Friends, please join.
to our parade of happiness.

Go to the main square.

-What's going on here?

With whom is it agreed?

- Is it really in the 22nd century?
need to coordinate happiness?

- In Two Hills, everything needs to be coordinated.

- Friends, go home.
This is an unauthorized event.

What is a wedding without a fight?

Is it because we are Muscovites?
-Let us pass!

(in chorus)
-Pass the! Pass the! Pass the!

-Elena Zoevna, have you forgotten
what we learned in school.

Remember the Flower of Tolerance.

What is your favorite petal?

For example, my -

it is acceptance of the other for who he is.

We say to Muscovites:

"Learn our constitution."

But we must also honor and respect

their traditions.

-You obstruct traffic -
it is forbidden.

-Don't let us have fun.
Or get a family boycott.

Muscovites are people too.

(in chorus)
Muscovites are people too!

Muscovites are people too! Muscovites are people too!

Muscovites are people too! Muscovites are people too!

Muscovites are people too! Muscovites are people too!

(sad music)

And she says right to my face:

"Ugh, you disgust me."

-It's their family
Her mom told me the same thing.

No, in general, Yulyok,
drowning because of a woman is not an option.

You have to fight for them.

If I were you, I would go to Two Hills

and show everyone the eggs.

In a figurative sense. What are you
greenhouse, do you understand everything in the forehead?

-For that matter,
then hanging because of primates is not an option.

How about we go to Two Hills together?

Let's show the eggs together.

I poured so much dirt on this city,
how do i go?

I will look like a balabol.

-Then in the loop.

But I always thought

that the Baron

it comes from the word "fight".

For courses in rhetoric.

That's purple!
I love your car so much!

-He should change the clutch

Yes, put new timing belts -
will fly at all.

-ABOUT! Wow!

So it's all well thought out!

Listen, Baron. Well, since we're friends now,

I have a request for you.

-Go around the bumps, you'll hit my suspension.

What are you doing on the steering wheel?
Easier hold, like a woman by the waist.

- Not a woman, but Radu.
- Yeah.

- I wish I could see her soon.
- Yulyok, we have a lot of booze with us.

How do we get through the Two Hills?
We won't get through, we'll swim through.

(plays Mendelssohn's march)

(joyful screams)

-Dear Hera and Iya!

Today, in the presence
guests and witnesses...

Wait a minute, who are the witnesses?

-Who are these witnesses?

-These are the best friends of the bride and groom,

They have to
testify to your happiness.

Hera, choose.

(with a sigh)
-Lucius.

-Thank you friend. I won't let you down
I will testify everything.

-And I?

Even though you tried to k*ll me with an axe,
but I withdrew my application.

And I sincerely believe that we remain
real girlfriends.

Glad.

(applause)

-Certainly. What should a witness do?

-To have sex with a witness.

(Muscovites laugh)

-I love you my friend.
-Yes.

-Your life is like an hourglass,

two fragile vessels,

connected by an invisible thread of time.

-What lovely words!

I want to do weddings too.

So let the ship of your love...

-Let's not get carried away, huh?

Guts hunting.

(sighs unhappily)

-Hera, do you agree to marry Iya?

and love her until death do you part?

What else is death? Don't ruin the wedding.

-So it is necessary. This is a tradition.

(Artist)
-Hera?

(unsure)
-Agree.

-And I?
-And I.

-Sorry, Iya.

Are you ready to take Hera as your husband?
-Yes.

- Please, as a token of love
and devotion to each other

exchange rings.

- Ah... Not these.

- I declare you husband and wife.

(Muscovites)
-Bitterly! Bitterly! Bitterly!

- Friends, don't worry.

Now there will be salivation.

It's such a tradition
And for a wedding, this is the norm.

-Bitterly! Bitterly! Bitterly!

-Are the witnesses supposed to salivate too?

-Love you.
- Dancing hugs!

-Where are you, husband?

- You see, according to tradition, I must now ...

Leave, so that later you were stolen by a witness.

And then I will definitely find you.

- I'll hide it so that the police won't find it!

(funny music)

- Glad, we need to talk.

- I don't talk to strangers.
Go to your wedding.

- A wedding is a formality.

Just for girlfriends
treated us better.

-Why are you this formality
proposed to Ye, not to me?

-Are you serious? you called me
carrier of the patriarchal plague.

I was afraid to even approach you.
Well, those are not exactly my words.

So mom said.

And according to the Constitution, you need to listen to your mother.

I saw you two...

Iya has such a beautiful dress...

-Went.

Now we will print such a dress for you.

-A moment of attention.

And now my gift to the newlyweds.

Meet - the first musical duet

men and women!

Prokhor and Shell!

Meet!

- True, we almost did not rehearse,
and the text is raw.

- Muscovites are so modest. Let's.

(plays intro)

- A friend was walking, she lost her ring,

The ring rolled into the forest.

-And in this distant forest, in this dense forest

The young primate climbed in.

-Girlfriends hop-hop-hop.
- Primates top-top-top.

-Mom was against and suffered.

-Girlfriends hop-hop-hop.
- Primates top-top-top.

-Mom was against and suffered.

-Stop!

Turn off the music.

I want to make an announcement.

(Artist)
- A word to our fiance!

-Friends!

And girlfriends.

I want to confess to you.

I love Rada.

(everyone gasps)

And I want to marry her.

What, am I not your wife anymore?

(quietly) - Ripped off,
you will now lose all your rights.

-I know my rights very well.

(loud)
Therefore, I take Rada as my second wife.

According to our traditions, this is possible.

(Artist)
-Well then...

I announce you

wife, husband and wife!

- But you have not a dress, but a stub.

-Kiss Rada.
-Bitterly!

(in chorus)
-Bitterly! Bitterly! Bitterly!

...Three four five,

six, seven, eight,

nine ten!

-Where are you going?
- I'm not going to heat up.

(Baron)
- Ku-ku la-la chi-chi ha-ha!

(alert music)

So you decided to play a wedding?

Was the Baron to send a dove?

What?

Did you decide to grab two chicks at once?

Beautiful.

Well, pour me a penalty.

-Baron, and what to pour something?

Over there... Oatmeal jelly and smoothies.

- Do you have a wedding here or a hedgehog a*s?

It's ok without me
you can't have fun.

(rattling bottles)

Walk, Hills!

(Muscovites)
-Hooray!

- Well, music? Let's.

- In my opinion, we are very popular with the public.
We need to record another hit.

- And again it will be necessary to have sex?
- It's show business, baby.

- I did not like the primate for its oblique snout.

- I didn't like my girlfriend because I drank a lot.

- Barosha, I'm so glad you came.

- I looked at the primate,
didn't want to run away...

- You're a slop rat.

I prepared you for successors.

And you're a knife in my back.

Hey, hey, hey, I was joking.

You are my little rat!

-And I...

Everything will be fine.

Don't worry.

- Well, congratulations to us.

For a happy and friendly family!