27x01 - Paradise Found

[bunniefuu]

- Oh, wait, are you like a yankees fan?

- I am.

I'm a bigger giants fan, though.

- Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

This girl's awesome. She's gonna be fun.

But also a bit of a ball breaker, which I like.

- We're gonna have a love-hate relationship.

Probably more hate though, yeah. - Mostly hate.

You could have just lied to me and said,

"I don't really follow sports."

- Or I love gingers. - That works too.

The best about being a redhead and playing basketball

In a predominantly african-american league

Is that even though I'm '" and white

They still think I can't dunk a ball.

So I come down the court, looking all flashy and fly,

And uncoordinated because I'm still a ginger.

It's always like "whoa!"

- Do you have any like pet peeves?

Like what's gonna really bother you?

- I hate people that complain.

- People that complain? - Yeah.

I have a tattoo that says "hakuna matata."

- Shut the [bleep] up! - Wow!

My sister. - Sorry. Excuse me.

- You are the coolest person. - Oh, my god.

Ear muffs! I'm so sorry, I apologize.

You have to understand because I have the same tattoo...

On my butt.

[All laughing] I swear to god.

I didn't know I was getting it either.

I like woke up with it after my st birthday.

And I was like oh, my god.

- Are you serious? - I'm not gonna show it.

Because I already messed this up so.

- Naturally. I'm more pissed off

That you just cursed in front of my sister.

- I know. I'm so sorry about that.

- What a buzz. - My mom is gonna be so mad.

- This is a full body suit.

Pull it over, and I got a whole swimsuit.

I'm just this fun, bubbly, energetic person

That's mainly like this - unless...

I'm really not in the mood.

Getting ready to meet my roommate.

Packing up, looking forward to meeting him or her.

Don't know what to expect, but I'm ready for it.

All right, y'all! I'm all packed up!

- All right. - Waiting for my roommate.

- I knew someday it'd come to this point, latoya.

- I'm excited though. It's gonna be fun.

- It's gonna be fun!

- Yeah, I wonder what my roomate's gonna be like.

[Doorbell] - did he get the door?

- Somebody come to see you, latoya.

- All right. Who is it?

Oh, hey! How are you?

- My name's trey. - Nice to meet you. I'm toya.

Have a seat, trey! Get comfortable.

- Latoya, she's very, very outgoing.

You can tell right away.

You know, she's very welcoming.

- So where are you from? - I'm from baltimore.

- Awesome! Welcome to petersburg!

- Thank you.

- So are you excited about our roommates?

- I'm ready to go.

The anticipation is kinda like building up and k*lling me.

- Latoya! Got a delivery for you.

- Oh, a package. - Okay.

See what's in it. - Let's see what it is.

[Doorbell]

- Wtf, mate?

- How you doing? - Hey.

- Delivery for robb. - Hey.

Thank you. You didn't get one.

Beauty and the beach.

Dude, we're going to the virgin islands!

- Shut up!

- We're going to the virgin islands!

- Are you kidding me?

- You are going to the virgin islands!

- We're going to the virgin islands?

Oh, my god!

I've been outside of the mainland of the united states.

Never been on a cruise.

I've never had that opportunity.

So I'm completely enthusiastic, and I'm ready to go.

- We're going to st. Thomas? - Oh, my god.

- The nicest place I've seen is like the north carolina beach,

And I'm going to the caribbean.

- ♪ Come, jump out the door ♪

♪ You can't hold it back no more ♪

♪ I'll show you how the birds learned how to fly ♪

- We're gonna live in the virgin islands!

- Livin' is right!

- Oh, my god!

- Oh, my god, I need to stop eating.

[Laughter]

- ♪ I'm gonna take you on a ride, on a ride ♪

- Our cab is here.

It was nice meeting you guys. - Pleasure.

- Curse words are bad. Don't use them.

- ♪ We're gonna get there real soon ♪

♪ Real soon

♪ Hold your breath, I bet that ♪

♪ We will get there soon

- We're gonna go to the islands!

Oh, yeah!

- Let's go! Virgin islands!

- We are outta here!

- You know what,

This is gonna sounds really, really uneducated,

But like where is the virgin islands?

- [Laughing] where is it?

- This is the true story... - My man robb.

- Of seven strangers... - Get outta here!

- Picked to live on an island... - h* h* h*!

- And have their lives taped. - Oh, no!

- Find out what happens... - Laura!

- When people stop being polite...

- Hey, woman! - And start getting real.

- Let's keep it real. - Look what I caught.

-The real world... -Yes!

- St. Thomas! [Laughter]

[Light island music]

♪

- Walking down the streets of st. Thomas

In a place that I never thought I'd be--

Just scared, just like... Crazy scared,

Knowing that everything I'm about to be doing

Is everything I've wanted to do.

I grew up in the projects.

- You're brandon? - Yeah.

- [Laughs] I'm brandon too. Everybody calls me swift.

- All right. - Nice to meet you, man.

- Nice to meet you too, man.

You think it's a little warm to be all, uh--

- I am dying right now. Like seriously.

I'm seriously--i know you're hot too a little bit.

- Yeah, I came from boston. There's a lotta--

- You're from boston? - Yeah, it was a lot colder.

- I'm from north jersey. - Oh, that's what's up.

- Yeah, I lived in jersey,

Then I wento school at temple in philadelphia.

- Nice.

- I was in philly for like four to five years.

My mother's a lawyer. My dad went to r.i.t.

Graduating was one of the greatest experiences

That I've gone through.

Having the ability to walk across that stage

With my family there to see it.

- Brandon swift. [Cheering]

- It was one of the greatest feelings.

Were you born in boston? - Yeah. Southie.

I was born in dorchester. - I hear the accent.

It comes out.

I'm already vibing with you already.

You know what I mean?

I can tell we're gonna be mad cool.

Oh, we got a new one. - I'm not even upset about that.

- Are you both my roommates? - No. Who are you?

- I'm laura. Hi! - We're just kind of...

How you doing? I'm brandon.

- Brandon, nice to meet you. I'm laura.

- Swift. - Swift?

- Yes. Mwah.

Where you from?

- Omaha, nebraska.

Growing up, I was considered the ugly duckling.

I didn't have any game back then.

I didn't know what makeup was or hair dye.

And since about my junior year of high school,

I started to change.

And boys started to notice me.

And it's really nice to finally get their attention.

I am a huge flirt.

Boys are pretty much just like toys to me.

They're meant to be played with.

Where are you from?

- I'm from boston.

- Really? - Yup.

- I see the way brandon's looking at her.

Eyes got big.

- Laura is stunning.

Smile just captured me right away.

- Ready! Ready.

- Can you throw it though?

- Is that even a question?

- All right, not bad, not bad.

I like that you carry a football.

- Ah! Get it, get it!

- I thought you could throw a ball!

- I can't. I'm not warmed up.

- Hey, I'm looking for laura and two brandons.

- That's us! - That's you guys?

Let me take you to your home. - On a boat?

- That's the only way you're gonna get there.

- Is that where we're going? - It sure is.

- No!

- Welcome to hassel island. This is it.

This is home for you. - What!

No...dope.

So dope.

- No way. Seriously?

We have our own island.

- Oh, my gosh, look!

It's like a hammocky thing, but it's a boat.

- ♪ Lift me off the ground

♪ And take me to the garden of paradise ♪

- Yes, sir!

- Oh, my god.

I never thought in a million years

That I would be living somewhere like this.

And now I'm here for three months.

This is crazy!

- You know how crazy this is

To go from living in the projects to this?

This real life, dog? - Yeah, this is real life, man.

- ♪ Yeah-yeah

- What!

We got a hot tub! - Oh, yes!

- Ooh, I wanna use that.

- This is amazing. The house is beautiful.

- I call this room.

- All right, I'm down.

My roommate, from the jump, gonna be my boy swift.

- I'm tempted to check the fridge

To see if there's alcohol in it.

- You trying to drink already? - Yeah.

- We should wait. - I agree.

We should probably wait for everybody else.

- Are you serious? - How many?

Bring it, st. Thom.

I'm ready to pop this island's cherry.

- Oh, dude, can we stop at the mini mart?

- Oh, yeah! We have to go to the alcohol store.

Chardonnay. Thank you.

- Thank you again.

- We're gonna make a splash.

- As far as like the hard liquor and stuff goes,

I'm probably not gonna be like doing too many shots

And get a little out of control.

I'm actually, um--

I'm actually a recovering drug addict.

- Really?

- So when I drink really hard whiskey,

I'm going and going, it makes me wanna binge.

- If you don't mind me asking, what type of drugs?

- I was at a party one day and just--

I did a line with this like really hot girl.

After that, I was just hooked.

- Really? - Yeah.

But then I would do heroin

To come down from my coke binges so I could sleep.

And it was like... I've kinda done it all.

- I'm just sitting back and being quiet.

I don't know what to think.

I'm not used to anybody like this.

My friends-- the worst thing they do, really,

Is smoke a cigarette.

- I think right now it's like six months clean.

- Seriously, I'm really proud of you.

The fact that you're able to bring it up--

Bring it up like that, just come right out.

- It's part of who I am. I don't know.

I just kinda wanted just to get that outta the way.

- Wow. I like this person.

That means that he's gonna be honest, he's gonna be real...

About stuff and he's not gonna be fake and lie.

- Do you mind if I ask you what your scars are from

On both arms?

- No, um...

They're from exactly what you think they are.

- Okay. Just wondering.

- It's beautiful! Oh, my gosh!

My hair's just blowing in the wind.

And the sun is just beaming down on my skin.

I immediately feel like michelle obama,

And this guy's barack without a tan.

I can really get used to this.

- Oh! - Absolutely. Cheers!

Thank you very much. - That was disgusting.

- I've never lived on an island before.

I'm expecting to see crystal blue water.

I'm expecting to see iguanas.

I'm just expecting to see something different

Than what I'm used to.

I asked the people on the plane if you could swim in the water.

'Cause I don't know what the deal is with sharks and stuff.

They say barracuda are down here a lot.

So don't wear anything shiny in the water,

Because barracudas are attracted to shiny stuff.

- There goes my lip gloss. No shiny stuff.

- Oh, my god! - That's your home.

That's your home. - No, it's not.

- Yes, it is. - No, it's not.

- Believe it or not.

- So now we're like going to like gilligan's island.

I feel like the captain with ginger.

- Anybody else pulling up? - Yeah, is that--

- [Squealing]

- Hi!

- Hi!

- What's up? I'm brandon.

- Brandon. What's you're name?

- I'm laura. - Hi!

- Hi. - Nice to meet you.

- What do we got now, we got five?

- Yep.

- Hey, I got the purse, all right?

- Oh, my god. - I know.

- This house-- it is amazing!

Everything about this house is sick.

- Oh, my gosh. I love it.

Wait, you forgot one!

- Her suitcase is full of beer.

She brought a box with wine and beer.

And she's already smashed. This is my kinda girl.

- He calls himself swift? - Swift.

- Swift.

- Can I make up a nickname for myself?

- That's on my birth certificate.

It's not a nickname. - Swift?

- It's really my last name. - That makes sense.

- Exactly. - So I can't call myself swag?

- No.

I don't see any swag right now. - Shut up, boston.

- This is ridiculous. - I'm sorry.

- This is my first time getting on a boat.

- First time? - Yep!

- All right. - I'm scared.

- I got you.

I know I'm clumsy and it would be me to fall

In the water, lose a shoe...

Drown, and die.

Hold on tight, trey! Ah!

[Laughing]

- ♪ The sun is shining

♪ It is a brand new da-ay

- Latoya, trey. - Yeah?

- This is your home. - Shut up!

- That's our home, lee? - Shut up!

- Lee, don't get us excited for no reason.

- This is it. - This is amazing!

- We got kayaks?

- Trey, move those feet! - I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- Everyone take a cup. - No, we should wait.

- [Gasp] guys! - Hello!

I'm toya, nice to meet you.

- Robb. - Robb, I'm trey, dude.

Nice to meet you.

What's your name? - I'm laura.

- Laura, I'm trey. Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- [Yelling]

What's your name? - Marie.

- Marie, nice to meet you!

- Here comes this little bubbly black chick.

I just wanna like put her in my pocket

And bring her everywhere with me.

- This is our room? That's my bed! Ah!

sh**t!

Nice!

- See toya, she talking very country,

[Mimicking] "hey, y'all," all of that, you know?

Got the little country swag going on.

- Swift. - I'm toya.

- Sway! How you do-- - no. Swift.

- Swift. Swift. - It's my last name.

- Swift. Okay.

- Did you say we're over here?

- Yeah, right here, man.

- So where'd you claim, that one?

- Yeah. Are you in a relationship?

- No. What about you?

- No. - Single and ready to mingle.

[Marie laughing]

- Here's my pet peeve.

If you're leaving [bleep] and just messy [bleep]

In the bathroom or the kitchen--

- We should probably switch, 'cause my [bleep] everywhere.

- I was initially gonna room with trey.

But because me and swift are a little more reckless

With our organization,

It's probably just best that we room together.

- Me and him are gonna be in here.

- I wonder if you can legit climb that.

- Don't even try it.

- You don't think so? - Hell, no.

It's gonna fall.

- No, they legit wouldn't put this here if you couldn't.

- [Stammering] it's just for decoration.

- It's not. It's bolted in.

- Don't do it! Toya, it's straight.

- No!

- It's legit. - Where the hell are you going?

[Both laughing]

Look. Look at this picture!

That's me telling you to get down.

- And that's me up there having the time of my life.

- The time of your life.

- Coming up on thereal world...

- I can't compete with him.

He's that all-american boy type image.

- What are you doing? - I don't know.

- Stop.

Here we go.

- ♪ This is the time

♪ And this is the place

♪ And it's gonna be such a beautiful day ♪

- These are not my summer clothes.

It's only my bathing suit.

That means we have to go in the pool.

- ♪ Such a beautiful day, sun shining...♪

♪ Feeling like I'm on a island ♪

♪ Full of love and happiness ♪

♪ Such a beautiful day

- Toya! - I'm here!

- There's my girl!

- I am very attracted to marie.

She's got nice long blonde hair.

And I like tattoos and piercings.

And I'd rather spend my time in a piercing shop.

- Cannonball!

- Cannonball! - Ow!

[Laughter]

- Where's my life vest? [Laughter]

- ♪ Sometimes it seems

♪ Life is just a dream

♪ A sequence of flashes

♪ Creates a perfect scene

- I just met her, and my face is already between her legs.

- Laura is...amazing.

She's beautiful. She's fun.

Can throw a football.

Just like really amazing, outgoing girl.

Everything about laura is enticing me.

- Red!

Ah!

Trey is a muscular super-attractive guy.

And I feel like a giddy little schoolgirl.

- Me and big red.

There are no worries. Hakuna matata.

- Hakuna matata.

I can't wait till that's unveiled.

When it comes to me and marie,

Like physically I look at her as being perfect.

But am I her type? Probably not.

I don't even think she likes redheads, which is straight.

- I love how much better my tattoo is than yours.

- Yours is invisible.

I think my leg tattoo is ten times better than--

- Your leg tattoo is terrible.

It looks like a five-year-old stenciled it on.

- I know that you're just being an a*s--

- Yeah, but you also know that I have a better tattoo than you.

I'm a bit mean.

But robb understands my sense of humor

And appreciates it.

Maybe you're like my life wall for now.

Life wall. What does that mean?

- That's like I knew you in a different life,

But I didn't.

- You're embarrassing.

- Whoo!

[Boys yelling]

- Welcome to st. Thomas!

- Welcome to st. Thomas.

You guys think that you're gonna bring home any boys

Or anything like that? - I doubt it.

Are you?

- I mean, I'm not-- I don't really wanna hook up

With roommates just 'cause then it gets awkward.

But I don't really know what's gonna happen.

- I thought there was gonna be someone that like

I was gonna be like I wanna...you.

- Yeah. - That didn't happen.

- I'm kinda like that with trey.

- [Squealing]

- I can't take my eyes off of this guy.

I'm in trouble.

- All right, rum punch.

This is gonna be delicious I can feel it.

Cheers. - Why the hell I got the most?

- I have ice in my face.

Tastes delicious.

- You can have mine. - [Laughing]

- It's just-- I feel like I'm the outsider.

- Why?

- Because like... I been joking with robb.

They're chill, dude, they're awesome.

I love all those dudes.

But it's like... They're the athletic,

You know, keep-in-shape type dudes.

You know, really... Get a, like a--

- Like really connect with. - Yeah.

- Well, I'm here. - Yeah, I know.

- We're gonna have fun. I promise, lots of fun.

It makes me sad to hear that brandon feels like an outsider.

I want to let brandon know

That it is okay to open up to me

And that I'm here for him.

- Are those all your flip-flops, dude?

- Well, I got lots of different kinds of shoes.

- Do you like flip-flops by any chance?

- It's like my favorite thing to wear.

- So why are you single?

- I had a boyfriend before I left,

But...we broke up.

There's no point in dating somebody

When I'm gonna be away from him for three months.

- Yeah, for sure.

When I am with someone I do like to be around them.

- Mm-hmm.

Here I have--this is all my adoption stuff that I brought.

- May I look? - Yes.

Um, it's letters that I got from my biological mom

When I was a baby.

Because I really wanna find my parents.

- That's kinda like... I like that.

- What? - Like just a big stamp.

"Adopted!" - I know.

It's like...sold! - Yeah.

How do you feel about it?

- Um...i mean, it's hard...

Just 'cause I wanna know where I came from kinda thing, you know?

- I build up really high walls,

But it's nice that finally I meet a girl

I'm having a connection with.

Something about her... Just makes you wanna get close.

- When you rate a girl, it can't be--

It has to be complete non-biased.

It means you have to strictly rate her

On straight physicality. - Yeah.

But the number scale is something in one guy's head

To another guy just to prepare him

What he's getting into. - Exactly.

It's a way of telling my boy how that girl look

Without him seeing her.

That's basically what it is.

You be able to walk by a girl,

Your boy call you up-- "who's that girl?"

Oh, I don't know, but she's like a . On the scale.

That's it! Simple, simple.

It should be like that!

- Guys are weird. Y'all do the craziest [bleep].

- Now a -- not bad looking.

[All talking]

A --yes. I'll hook up with her.

But I'm not wifing a .

An , that's a good-looking girl.

I will wife an . Straight up.

- You're just a c*ck little thing.

- So swift thinks he's all that.

"No, I'm not c*ck, I'm confident."

He think he's [bleep].

But he got another thing coming.

'Cause he done met his match.

I don't have time for all that.

There's three things-- you look good, you're all right,

Or you're a no-- simple as that.

"Oh, he look good." "Oh, he's all right."

"No."

[Laughter] it's just that simple.

It's just that simple.

- What are you wearing? - It's my tutu.

- The shoes. Put 'em on.

- Are you gonna put on my shoe like cinderella?

- Maybe.

I don't know how these work,

But I unbuckled it for you.

- Now you rebuckle it. Oh, my gosh.

- You're not gonna be able to slide in there

With your bunions.

[Both laughing]

- Kick your butt.

- I enjoy being in laura's company,

And I'm getting the vibe

That she enjoys being in mine as well.

You look like cinderella right now.

- Thank you. - Go strut your stuff.

Let's see if that's it.

Makes your butt look good, if it matters.

- I already have a cute tush. - Oh, do you?

- You should see it in spandex.

- Oh, goodness. - Oh, baby.

- Look what I bought! - Oh, like a ballerina!

- Look what I found on the mainland.

- All right, now, you gotta work it, girl.

- They sell these down here in st. Thomas.

- Look, I'm taller than you now. Look up.

- No. This is embarrassing.

- I usually have a height requirement of minimum foot.

But that does not matter right now...at all.

My bum makes me taller.

- Your bunion?

- My bunion makes me taller.

- I--i'm not trey. I don't know if I can compete.

- Let's get [bleep] naked!

First person to get naked!

- Whoo!

- Oh, my god, he's butt-a*s naked!

Ah! [Laughing]

- It's all [bleep]. Come on.

- I'm just gonna stay in my hammock.

- Whoo!

[Bleep] party!

Y'all need to live a little bit.

- Oh, that's good.

- Do we have a pool net?

- It's looks real rock star with a pool full of beer.

- Yeah, it looks like a real rock star.

- Now it's like a tree party.

- We're g*ons.

- We're the g*ons of the virgin islands.

- Goon squad! - Whoo!

- Are you coming, naked man?

- Yeah.

- This is so much fun.

- They're right there, brandon.

- Build a tree house, dude?

- Yeah, let's build a tree house.

- I love you. You're my best friend.

- We already got best friends in the house?

- Yeah, he's my best friend.

- I had a best friend. He kicked me out of his room.

- Ooh. All: whoa!

- I wasn't kicking you out the room.

Somebody left a going-away present in the toilet, though,

Before they left. - Ooh!

- Marie, was it you?

- Yo, if it makes you all happy right now,

I'll say I did, but like I didn't.

- She's fessing up. She did it.

- I have no idea what they are talking about

With this poop in the toilet.

I'm sorry that I'm too busy having fun

To go take a [bleep] in your bathroom.

It's gross anyway. Come on, I'm a lady.

I'm a lady.

I want a [bleep] beer.

- Marie took a crazy, crazy dump in my bathroom

And stunk it up.

- Smell like... Baked booty.

- But you know what the funny part of the situation is...

She gonna be sharing a bathroom with this one, not me.

- Wah! - Peace.

- [Laughing]

- Peace.

- I get oklahoma and nebraska confused.

It's like all the same to me. - [Gasp]

- You guys are from the middle of nowhere.

- Thanks. Out of everybody,

I'm gonna butt heads most with you.

- Whatever. - Kick your butt

For making fun of nebraska. - Whatever.

You're gonna love the time we spend together.

- I am! - It's gonna be amazing.

- ♪...complications

♪ Throw a sucker punch

♪ You get into your water ♪

♪ Stirrin' up the blood

- What's your nationality? Are you like irish, german?

- Um, I just found this out.

Hang on, let me get my adoption papers for you.

- Sure. You're adopted?

- Yeah. - Really?

- Yeah.

I've been working with the adoption agency.

I wanna meet my biological parents.

They wrote these. - They wrote you?

- Date--day after I was born.

- No way! - Yeah.

- And I didn't get these until probably six months ago.

- Wow. That first line's a k*ller.

It's like so blunt.

"I have given you up for adoption

Because I felt it was the best thing I could do for you."

- I know. - Wow.

- I had a sister. - I was gonna say.

It says it right here. You have another sister.

She's only months at the time.

- They didn't have money to raise two kids,

So they gave me up. - And they kept her?

- Mm-hmm. - Have you ever met her?

- No, but I want to.

- You carry yourself so well.

Like you always seem happy and stuff like that.

Like this doesn't even faze you.

- Yeah.

I don't know.

- So are you gonna go, you know, directly law school

Or you plan on taking some time off

And do the business thing first?

- Oh, taking a year off!

- I actually can see you doing the whole law school thing.

- Thank you. I appreciate that.

- You talk a good game. - I talk a good game.

- Yeah. - I back it up, though.

- Mm-hmm. We'll see.

[Laughing]

- All right, best friend handshake.

- We have to make one up? Not right now.

It's too early.

- It's never too early for a bff handshake.

- ♪ I can hear

♪ Down in the dark

♪

♪ I can hear

[Marie giggling]

[Laura giggling] - that's crazy.

- I'm kinda bummed.

I don't wanna be...alone while I'm with all these people.

- Are you unpacking trey's clothes?

- She's helping.

- That's nice you're helping him.

I'm gonna leave, because I'm not gonna help, so...

- [Laughing] "because I'm not gonna help"?

- I'm not needed.

- You wanna know a secret? - What?

- If you don't tell anybody? - What?

- It was my poop. [Laughing]

- You are not serious!

That was you?

- This girl marie came out of nowhere.

Like she caught me off guard, yeah.

Real silly, like... I'd be like, dude, you know,

Snag a girl like that...

- That's kinda how I feel about laura.

Like typically I'd be laughing at a guy like me.

Like, yeah, "what are you doing?

"What do you mean you're catching feelings, dog?

"Shut up!

Let me take you out, let me show you what's good."

- Yeah, exactly.

- But...i'm telling you there's something about this girl laura.

She's different.

- You know, if you had a girl like that,

Everything would be good and you would treat her right,

You know, and she'd be around--

- Because I don't give a [bleep] about anything

When that girl's around.

- Yeah, you treat her like she's gold.

- But I can't compete with him.

Why not? - You know what I mean?

- That's like that all-- he's--

You know, he's that all-american boy type--type image.

- I overhear brandon talking about me a little bit.

Why are you talking [bleep] already?

It's not cool.

- I know what it is. She just has me tripping.

That's all it is.

Like...this girl had me tripping

To a point that I took off my clothes,

Ran naked to jump in a [bleep] hot tub

Hoping that it would catch her eye for a second.

She's got me begging for her attention.

- If you yourself, being who you are,

Is not gonna get somebody's attention...

Then there's--maybe they're not worth it, you know?

Brandon's a little... Weird with laura.

You know, we're in night one, and we just all met each other.

You have no idea what's gonna happen.

When it boils down to it...

We have so much yet to explore.

- It's just--

I know what it is.

I don't want her exploring it with him.

I don't want her laughing at what he says.

I don't want her smiling at his jokes.

- I know it's gonna eat at you.

And that's the only rea--

- I'll be right back.

Mr. Musclehead, mr. America...

- What are you doing? - I don't know.

- Stop.

Stop. [Under breath] here we go.

- Stop.

Stop.

It's just not worth it.

- Why am I tripping like this over some [bleep] broad?

- It happens.

- I walked right in on him talking about me.

It was kinda awkward...

That they're doing that [bleep] already.

It was like..."How am I supposed to compete with him?

He's like the all-american boy"

Or something like that.

And as I walked up, I could hear them

And I kinda knew that they were talking about me.

They talked all the way until the point

Where I got in front of them.

Like they even saw me walking out,

If they connect, they connect.

And it's-- if she didn't connect with you

As much as you wanted to, that just [bleep] sucks.

You know?

- Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?

- Yeah, man. - In your room.

- Yeah. - Let's go, man.

I don't know what it is.

It's like... Acting irrational right now.

This girl...obviously who you and I both got eyes on,

We were talking in the closet

About the [bleep] she was going through.

And--and then afterwards, I saw you two...

Having that same conversation on her bed.

And I was like wow. My and her conversation

Wasn't that special. - You felt that

It didn't even mean anything. - Exactly.

- And you misinterpreted it.

- It just hurt me in a weird way.

- To me, I guess, I got the wrong impression.

I'm like first day and people are already talking [bleep].

- No, it was a straight jealousy thing.

It was a...

I thought--i looked into something

In a way I shouldn't have. - Right.

- And when I saw you guys talking...

I was thinking here's mr. Popular

With mrs. Popular.

You know, you're that all-american boy.

- I was prom king, I was captain of varsity football,

I was that all-american-- I was exactly what you describe.

So it was funny when I was listening to you.

I was like yeah, you are. You were talking about me.

But the reason I got that was not because I was mr. Popular

Walking down the hall, pushing people out of the way.

It's because I talked to everybody.

Let's just make a pact, man.

Like you can always come to me

And tell me whatever's on your mind.

And I think that it'll work out better that way.

We're going to be living in the same room

For the next few months,

And I don't want that underlying tension and animosity

Towards each other.

- You know, as a man that's sleeping right next to me,

I had to bring it up and be like...

I'm jealous and acting irrational.

- Well, you know what, you gave me your % honesty

And that's all I ever ask as a man, 'cause I respect that.

- This is my saving grace.

We love each other.

I thought I was gonna come here and like find other tall people.

But like...we're the only ones.

We're like the...

g*ons. We're like the g*ons.

- We're g*ons.

- We're the g*ons of the virgin islands.

- Gooooon squad! - Right here.

Whoo!

- Gooooon squad.

I think we're the two drunkest people here.

- I'm not the drunkest person here.

- Who is?

No, no, no. Tell me.

- I guess we are the only ones still drinking.

[Hiccup] [marie laughing]

All right, I gotta go to bed.

- She passed out?

You wanna [bleep] with her?

Is there a marker?

- Is there a marker?

- [Whispers] oh, man. - I got a pen.

You can't be the first person to knock out.

You gotta know somebody gonna get you

With the pranks.

- [Whispering] get her.

- There's more of the real world on the way,

And it starts right now.

- What you get for being the first one

Passed out in the house.

- What are you trying to spell, bro?

- Your handwriting is terrible.

[Muffled laughter]

- What's he writing?

- "I have smelly feet."

- I just feel like there's a blank space.

- She'll wake up...

With a ton of peanut butter.

- Oh...it's just so stupid, it's funny.

- I see this book on the table.

I get a little nosy.

I'm just curious as to what it is.

I don't know how it got there.

Come here, dude.

I didn't know what this book was,

And I think it's like brandon's journal, or whatever.

I probably shouldn't even have opened it.

- You really should not, though.

- But dude, like... - That page.

No...

- "k*ll me, k*ll me, k*ll me, k*ll me.

I wanna die."

- I feel mad weird like looking at it, dude...

- I know. - I feel like

I'm violating his privacy, but...

- I don't look snooping either, but...

When you see something like that...

- Yeah. - You gotta realize

Like if you're in danger too. - It's serious.

- I don't know if this guy's suicidal.

I don't know if he not only causes harm to himself

But also to others,

And I don't really know how to go about

Bringing this up to him.

- It's just not something you, like, brush off lightly.

- No. Suicide's no joke.

Honestly, I think this is the tip of the iceberg.

I don't want it to be--i don't want there to be a iceberg

Beneath all this but... I really think it is.

- My vote is the right.

- Eeny, meeny, miney, mo. This way, let's go.

[Animal screeches] - aah!

- No, let's go this way.

- This season onthe real world...

- Oh, my god!

- A chicken in my bed, I'm gonna set this b*tch on fire.

You know y'all a*s is gonna roast.

Aah! Aah! [Bleep]!

I'm not signed up for this borin' y'all a*s lifestyle.

[Laughter, yelling]

- If you can make a girl laugh, you can make a girl do anything.

- Remind me to never eat off that counter.

- You are the greatest woman alive.