Look, the important thing is we
enjoyed fresh air and exercise.
Remember, it's not whether you win or lose.
Yes, it is, and we lost.
We lost to morning news
people, and they're laughing at us.
Don't take it out on her.
Corky wasn't the losing pitcher.
She didn't throw the ball onto 39th Street
trying to pick Faith
Daniels off first base.
She was taunting me.
I lost my concentration.
You think I'm a wuss arm, don't you?
Is that what you're
thinking? I'm not a man?
Not at all.
Anyone who gives up the game-winning hit
to a pregnant woman is a man in my book.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, guys, guys, come on.
We're a team here.
What do you say we put all this behind us?
Dinner at Phil's on me.
Good, fine.
Wait!
Miles, I can't go.
I have to have dinner
with "Wide-Load Willie".
Who?
Willie Forrest.
He's this geeky boy I knew in high school.
Nobody could think of
anything good to put under his
yearbook picture except
that he was an eager eater.
Oh, it's going to be awful.
Oh, Corky, why do you make
everything out to be such a problem?
Don't you realize if it's not
happening to me, it doesn't matter?
This is all my mother's fault.
She's friends with his mother,
and Mama thought it was a polite
thing to do since he was in town
on some boring lawyer seminar.
Maybe I will take him to Phil's.
That way, at least I'll be around friends
when he humiliates me by eating the chairs.
You know, you're forgetting.
People can change.
In high school, I was kind of awkward.
Hadn't really developed socially.
Can you believe it?
Trust me, "Wide-Load Willie"
hasn't changed.
I used to walk by his locker on
my way to cheerleading practice.
He'd be standing around with
his debate club friends telling
elephant jokes and laughing
one of those snort laughs.
Excuse me, Corky?
Corky Sherwood, hello again.
It's Will.
Will Forrest.
Oh, gee, I didn't get
the wrong date, did I?
No, no, no, this is the right day.
Wow, why, I hardly have recognized you.
You really have changed.
And you, haven't.
Thank you.
Say, Corky, aren't you going to
introduce us to your new friend?
Hi, I'm Murphy Brown.
Are you hungry? Would you like a chair...
to sit?
I'm Jim Dial.
And that's Miles Silverberg. Miles.
And Frank Fontana.
Hi, Frank.
Corky, told us all about you.
Well, it's good to meet all you too.
I see you got a softball team.
There is no fool in you.
Do you play?
Yes, sir.
Back in New Orleans.
I'm a pitcher.
Well, I was, till they
moved me to the outfield.
Well, no one was getting any hits off me.
The rest of the team
was getting kind of bored.
Who pitches for your team?
I had no defense, and I
wasn't wearing my usual hat.
So, Will, my mother
says you're a lawyer now?
Yeah, at a small firm back in New Orleans.
Listen, Corky, I hope you don't
take this the wrong way, but
if you want to get out of this
dinner tonight, I'll understand.
We can just tell our mothers that we
met, we had dinner, You had the shrimp.
I had the pasta.
We had a lovely time.
That way, you're off the hook.
No!
I mean, I'd hate to lie to my mother.
So, Will, what exactly did you
have planned for us tonight?
You know, to be honest, Corky.
I kind of remembered you as
being sort of a snob in high school.
Oh!
So I planned a fast drive
around the White House.
A quick dinner in a
coffee shop, home by 7:30.
It doesn't seem like such
a good plan anymore.
So, Corky, didn't you say you wanted
to come to Phil's with us for dinner?
No, Murphy.
So Will.
I'm sure we can think of something
to do if we just put our heads together.
Why don't you wait here?
I'll just go change and be right back.
You better come with me.
So, you guys seem to be one short.
Corky hasn't been around
here for a couple of weeks.
I'm starting to take it personally.
Oh, come on, Phil.
It's not like you could retire on that half
a cling peach she
orders every day for lunch.
She's been busy with that Will character.
He's constantly calling her.
He picks her up after work.
They eat all their meals together.
Yesterday, they wore matching sweaters.
You two are so transparent.
Now that Corky's involved with someone else
you want her, how predictable can you get?
Don't be ridiculous, Murphy.
We're just concerned.
She's like a sister.
I know what Corky's up to.
She and her friend have been sneaking
around to Steve's on the corner ever since
they got those tablecloths and started
calling the basement the Versailles room.
Hi, everybody!
Well, look who comes crawling back.
Tired of all that fennel and everything?
They always come back.
Everyone, I have something to tell you.
Walking over here, I ask
myself, how should I do it?
Should I leave clues?
Should I make them guess?
Or should I just drag
it out till everyone's
extremely annoyed and starts
to make snide comments?
Well, like I'm doing right now.
Okay, then why don't I just say it?
Here goes.
Will and I are getting married!
You're stunned.
You're speechless.
I know. I didn't know
what to say at first, either.
It's going to be right here in Washington
because, after all, this is my home now.
It's going to be two weeks from
Saturday, so mark your calendars.
Well, what do you think?
We think that this is great news.
I, for one, am very happy for you.
Guys, are we all happy for her?...
Oh! Best wishes to you and yours...
Oh, it was so romantic.
Will proposed to me in
the air and space museum.
Did you notice my ring?
It's a souvenir of the moon landing.
Will said it was more beautiful than any
diamond as long as I
was the one wearing it.
How could you say no to someone like that?
I do want a diamond, though.
Now, Murphy, I know what you're thinking.
No, Corky, I don't think you do.
Yes, I can read you like a book.
You're wondering, who
gets to be her maid of honor?
After all, she does have two sisters.
But guess what?
I picked you!
Oh, gee.
Two weeks from Saturday.
I don't know, Corky.
I've got so much hemming to do.
But Murphy, it would mean so much
to me to have the person I admire more
than anything stand beside me and witness
the most important moment of my life.
Please, Murphy.
Please.
Yeah, yeah, okay, I'll
be your maid of honor.
Oh, I'm so happy!
Everything is just
working out so perfectly.
I just hope I have time
to get it all planned.
Especially with an
assignment in Paris next week.
You're gonna have your hands full.
That's what I need to
talk to you about, Miles.
I don't think I'm gonna be able
to cover the fashion shows now.
I mean, how could I leave
Will when we just got engaged?
He'd feel awful.
I don't know, Corky, but
you fought me for that piece.
Oh, come on, Miles.
It's her wedding.
I mean, how many times does
a woman do that in her lifetime?
Once?
Twice?
Thank you, Murphy.
I better go now.
Oh, I just have so many phone
calls to make, and people to tell.
You all are happy for me.
You bet.
Oh, yeah.
This is wonderful.
Me too.
Do I look sincere?
It's all right here.
"Wide-Load Willie" Forrest is clean.
According to my sources, he
works at a very respectable law firm.
He volunteers two days
a week at the Boys Club.
And he actually paid the PBS pledge.
Is this guy for real?
This is all happening too fast.
People who want to get married should
be required to take one trip together.
Preferably involving a
rent-a-car and a road map.
Then we'll see about this
till death do us part stuff.
Would you guys give it up.
Hard as it is to believe, Corky's in
love with someone who's not you.
Now, I suggest you
just put this terrible pain
behind you and find a date for the wedding.
Who are you going with, Frank?
Not with you, Murphy.
We always end up at
this kind of thing together.
Have you ever noticed
that? I don't think it's healthy.
I say we make a pact.
This time we get real dates.
You know, David Letterman's
been bugging me to go out with him.
Maybe I'll take him.
I hit it off with Michelle Pfeiffer at
that Kennedy Center party last week.
I think I'll ask her.
Let's see, there's Gail in accounting.
I just had to get out of my office.
Every newspaper in the world is
calling for details about my wedding.
There's a bidding w*r
for photos of my dress.
Why would I sell something like that?
My wedding is a private moment
between Will and me and our 350 guests.
And I'm sure it'll all turn out lovely.
Just let me know if
there's anything I can do.
You know, like buy the rice.
No, that's been taken care of.
But my parents are coming
into town this weekend, so
Sunday would be the best
day for throwing me a shower.
Excuse me?
You know, the maid of honor always gives
a shower for the bride. It's tradition.
Corky, I'm no good at this.
The last time I went to
a shower was in 1968.
I gave the bride a gas mask.
When they brought out the
cake, we sang Eve of Destruction.
The bride's mother locked
herself in her car and cried.
But Murphy, I can't get
married without a shower.
Oh, I knew things wouldn't turn out right.
What was I thinking?
It's all too much.
It's not enough time.
I don't even know why I'm trying.
Sunday will be just fine.
Oh, Murphy.
The decoration is lovely.
Thank you, Doris.
Hey, guys, hands off the food
and don't get too comfortable.
As soon as Corky and her
family show up, you have to
clear out and go do your
sleazy bachelor party stuff.
Murphy, please.
We're men of the 90s.
We don't do that anymore.
We're going to Yamashiro's
to eat Sushi and discuss things.
Oh, I think we can
let go a little bit, Frank.
After all, this is young Will's last fling.
You know, I remember my bachelor party.
Not that there's anything
I haven't told you about.
Oh, please, Jim.
I know what really went on.
I know you ordered three
desserts and ate them all.
Later.
And I know about Ursula.
Okay, Phyllis, you're in charge now.
Make way, make way.
Finger sandwiches coming through!
Phil, that meat slicer's
on the Fritz again.
I had to cut all this liverwurst by hand.
Now listen, I just want to go over a
few things with you before I leave.
Yeah?
Yeah, first of all, no blender drinks.
We've got a reputation
to uphold around here.
Secondly... Phil, how
long have I been doing this?
Remember the Pope's visit?
If I can handle 200 nuns tossing
back Sambuca, I can handle this crowd.
You know, you're just as
feisty as the day I married you.
What time are you getting
off work, sweetcakes?
Just leave a light on, sailor.
We're here!
Everyone, I have some very
special people for you to meet.
My parents Edward and Bootsie.
My big sister, Kiki, and
my little sister, Cookie!
Not so little! She's pregnant.
And these are all my friends.
Murphy.
Here she is, Murphy Brown.
Well, you're every bit as pretty
in person as you are on TV.
Murphy, Corky's told us all
about how good you've been to her.
And all about you and all about your past.
Which is why I find it doubly surprising
that you're holding the shower in a bar.
Well, why not a bar?
Women have taken over every
place else that used to belong to us.
Yep, that's what happens
when we let them vote.
The days when a man's
home was his castle are over.
Miles Silverberg,
executive producer of FYI.
Oh, right.
The Jewish guy.
You know we can't have men here.
It's just not done.
That's right.
It's just not done.
Tell them, Corky.
That's right.
It's just not done.
All you men have to leave.
Don't you go get too wild tonight.
You just worry about enjoying
yourself in your last moments of freedom.
Come on, cavalieros!
Let's ride!
Have fun, ladies!
Although it won't be as much
fun as we're gonna be, right, guys?
Okay, girls, let's shower down.
My sentiments exactly.
There's the food, there the
gifts, so, that's pretty much it.
So go crazy.
But, what about games?
We have to have games!
You know, like drop
the clothespin in a bottle.
Or pick up cotton ba*ls
while you're blindfolded.
Or poker.
Well, it seems a bit unorthodox.
But what the heck?
A little high-low, roll-your-own?
Ladies, choose your tables.
Murphy, I don't think my
mother knows how to play poker.
Really?
Never played before ever?
Bootsie, you'll sit right next to me.
Wendy, go find another table.
It's a shame to split up a family.
Okay, five-card draw.
Jacks are better to open.
Jacks are the ones with the
little J's on the top, Bootsie.
Oh thank you.
Bootsie, I can't help noticing
your lovely charm bracelet.
No jewelry.
This is a cash-only game.
This is very special to me.
Each charm is a little head,
representing my grandchildren.
These are Kiki's children, Kevin and Cammy.
And this is a place
for Cookie's little baby.
And all the rest of the space
is just waiting for Corky to fill in.
Mother.
I can't help it if you're
right on schedule.
What do you mean?
Aces are very bad Bootsie,
especially if you have more than one.
Don't you remember when you were
Oh, I remember. "The plan".
Oh, you went on and on.
You said you'd go to your senior prom
with Billy Joe Bender when you were 17.
And you did.
You said you'd be Miss America
when you were 19, and you were.
You said you'd get married at 24.
Oh, this is silly.
Nobody wants to hear this.
Yes.
Do you know what this means?
It's all coming true.
You'll have your first baby
at 25, your second baby at 27.
I said that.
Be president of junior league at 35.
Go to Paris when you're 50.
Okay, okay.
Who is it?
Corky Sherwood.
Murphy, I'm so glad you're up.
I'm not up.
It's the middle of the night.
Something's really been
bothering me, Murphy.
Halfway through the
party, it was only a thought.
By the time I got home, it
was hammering inside my brain.
Murphy, I don't want to get married.
What?
What are you talking about?
Something's very wrong, Murphy.
I was at home, writing my name and Will's,
you know, doodling the way girls do.
And that's when I saw it.
Corky Sherwood Forrest.
Corky, you're just having cold feet.
This happens to everybody.
Maybe you should talk to
Bootsie or Cookie or Kiki.
I'm sleepy and grumpy.
I can't talk to them.
Murphy, don't you see?
Until I was with my family tonight, I
didn't realize how much I've changed.
But now I know.
If I get married and become the
kind of wife Will wants and deserves,
I'm not going to grow.
I'll never experience life.
Corky, I've experienced life, and
I'm here to tell you it's overrated.
You can say that. You've done everything.
I've done nothing.
Murphy.
You may not know this, but...
I'm a virgin.
Frank owes me 50 bucks.
I keep thinking, is Will the first
and last man I'll ever be with?
Life is passing me by, Murphy.
I need to do something wild.
Find a man, any man,
and go off with him
into his world of intrigue
with a free and reckless abandon.
Corky, you don't need to do that.
After you hang a couple of heads on your
mother's bracelet, you'll feel much better.
Then look me in the eye, Murphy.
Tell me I'm wrong to be having doubts.
Tell me, and I'll go
through with the wedding.
Boy, you have this annoying way of
wheedling your way into a
person's life, little by little,
until one day, she realized that if you
weren't there anymore, she might miss you.
That person really hates this.
Corky, I'm not going to let you
do anything you're not ready for.
Thank you, Murphy.
Okay, get comfortable.
We'll talk all night if we have to.
I'll go make some coffee.
Could I have Darjeeling tea?
I've never tried Darjeeling tea.
It always sounded too dangerous.
Eldin, hello.
Hello.
If you don't mind, I'll stay here.
The very side of you hurts me.
I hear you'd be throwed.
Maybe not.
Oh?
See, I'm very confused right now, Eldin.
There's so many things I'm feeling.
So many things I don't understand.
You're not the first to find
yourself bewildered by love.
We tend to make it complex,
but it's really so very simple.
Love is to surrender completely,
hopelessly, to the depths of one's soul.
You're a very mysterious
man, Eldin Bernecky.
You've experienced life, haven't you?
You know things.
One or two.
I want you to show me your world, Eldin.
I would, but suddenly I'm paralyzed.
For the most part.
Would you like to take me for a drive?
I believe I would.
[He looks at the sky and
murmured a silent: Thank you.]
Corky, I didn't have any tea.
Would you settle for a Lipton cup of soup?
Corky?
Hello?
Eldin.
Eldin!
To be continued...
Oh, he's wonderful.
He's... he's just... he's fabulous.
He's the man of my dreams.
He really is.
He is.
Is it a match made in heaven,
or is there trouble in paradise?
We've got the scoop this 21st day of May.
Hi, I'm Leeza Gibbons.
And I'm John Tesh.
Leeza, it looks like the real news is happening
behind the cameras at FYI, isn't it?
Is it ever, John?
Two weeks ago, we reported a
budding romance between FYI anchor
Corky Sherwood and her
childhood friend, attorney Will Forrest.
Corky Sherwood, hello again.
It's Will.
Will Forrest.
Things heated up quickly, and
within days, the couple shocked
and surprised their friends by
announcing their engagement.
Will and I are getting married!
But insiders say that things
are not as rosy as they seem.
With everyone in Washington lining
up their dates for what's been called...
"The wedding of the year". The bride-to-be
is having a serious case of cold feet.
I need to do something wild.
Find a man.
Any man.
Eldin.
Would you like to take me for a drive?
I believe I would.
Eldin!
We'll take a break. We'll be right back.
Oh, no.
John, I know who that is.
I can feel it in my bones.
I don't want to take that call.
You get it.
Tesh here.
Oh, hello, Frank.
It's Frank Fontana for you?
Darn, you just missed her.
Can I take a message?
Well, could you tell her I
called again and that I'm
really sorry about what
happened on the last date?
Oh, come on, John.
It's not like she was
ever in any real danger.
I've raced that train to the
intersection a hundred times.
But ask her this.
Has she ever lived life more
fully than she did at that moment?
Oh, shut up, John.
So, what you're saying, Terry, is that
you're not free to go to the wedding with me
because you have to
give your cat a flea dip.
Is that what you're saying?
That giving a cat a flea
dip is a better thing to do
than attend Washington's
hottest social event with me?
Do you know how feeble that sounds, Terry?
How lame?
Terry?
Terry?
How's it going?
Piece of cake. How about you?
Fight them off with a stick.
I'm telling you, Corky's gone crazy.
Not that it was so easy to tell at first.
I'm really worried, Jim.
I even stopped by her house this morning.
She wasn't there.
What's the problem, guys?
Murphy says Corky ran off
with that beatnik painter man,
who hangs around her house all the time.
Eldin?
You're kidding?
She seemed great at the
shower. Everything was going fine.
After the poker game, the
male stripper showed up dressed
like a fireman and performed
the Dance of the Seven Hoses.
You should have seen Doris.
She was his ladder girl.
Then, after everyone went home,
Corky showed up at my house.
With a major case of cold feet.
That's when Eldin walked in.
Okay, let's not panic.
So she disappeared with Eldin.
It's probably not as bad as it sounds.
Oh, man.
Hi!
Oh, man.
It's us again.
Hey, look who it is.
The Sherwood family.
And what could possibly bring the
Sherwood family to FYI this morning?
Oh, it's so exciting.
We're getting a tour of the studio.
Corky's giving it.
Yeah.
So, where is she?
Where is our precious little girl?
Murphy? Frank?
Jim? Miles?
Murphy?
Mommy! Daddy! Kiki! Cookie!
You're all here!
I completely forgot!
So this is the family!
And how lovely you are!
Hello! I'm Eldin!
He's an anonymous source!
Eldin, the anonymous source, we call him.
Corky was out all night getting information
from Eldin, the anonymous source.
What are you talk... Don't say nothing.
Nothing that could jeopardize your cover.
It's better if you don't
look directly at him.
I have an idea.
Why don't you all just go wait in my
office while I meet with my coworkers?
Just go down that hall.
It's the first door on the left.
Now, that's no problem, sweetheart.
We'll be fine.
All right, come on, Sherwoods, let's go.
They seem to give her a
great deal of responsibility.
She must be smarter than we thought.
What is going on here?
Why don't we step into my office
where there's a little more privacy?
Two chairs. Sit in
them. Sit and then speak.
What is going on here?
Nothing.
Oh, what a bunch of... !Hey, now.
They should have a chance to explain without
us acting like the Spanish Inquisition.
Go ahead.
Nothing happened last night.
We just talked.
Liar, liar, pants on fire!
Go away, you awful man!
You soiled her and I don't
want you here anymore.
Stop it.
We have nothing to hide.
Eldin was a perfect gentleman.
That's right.
I could see the lady was in
a weak and vulnerable state.
It would have been wrong for
me to take advantage of her.
Although the thought did cross
my mind on 23 separate occasions.
Eldin was very sweet to me.
He took me to a little
cafe where other house
painters gather to sip
coffee and exchange ideas.
And he helped me see
that my life and my career
mean too much to me to give up.
So what exactly are you saying, Corky?
The wedding's off.
Hi. Hi!
Am I interrupting something?
What? Oh, no, nothing at all. We
were just sitting around chatting.
But we're done. So if you two would
like to talk, feel free to use my office.
Come on, guys.
If you need me, I'll be right outside.
Where have you been, Corky?
I called you all night, all morning.
Is something going on I don't know about?
Oh, Will, I've been
doing a lot of thinking.
I always get into so much trouble
when I do that, so I really try not to.
But I've been thinking that...
once we walk down that aisle, it's
going to be the end of everything.
I know you're a traditional man.
And I thought I was an old-fashioned girl.
But I love my career.
I don't want to give it up
to have babies right away.
I don't want to settle down when I
could be going on assignment in Paris.
I've never been to Paris, Will.
I've never been a lot of places.
And I think I really have to go.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Yes, I do.
Oh, boy, am I relieved.
I didn't know how to say this to you,
Corky, but I've been having my doubts, too.
That as much as I love
you, I'm just afraid that
one day I'm gonna turn around, I'm
gonna be living the same life as my dad.
Working in a job I hate
to pay off a mortgage on
a house I don't like
in a place I'm tired of.
I don't want that to happen to me, Corky.
Oh, Will.
I had no idea you felt this way.
I want us to take chances.
And travel.
Do everything in life
we've always wanted to do.
And I want us to do it together.
Oh, me too.
This is so wonderful.
I want to quit my job.
What?
I've wanted to write a great
American novel my whole life.
Now, where does it say that the man has to
earn a living while the woman stays home?
I'll stay home and write and take
care of the house while you support us.
Gee, what an interesting idea.
Now, let me see if I have this straight.
I would go to work every day and you
would stay home and try to write a book.
Would you also be doing grocery shopping and
small errands like going to the dry cleaners?
It's our call, Corky.
We're free thinkers, rule breakers.
We can make this anything we want.
But mostly, we can make this work.
But what about Paris?
I turned down the assignment
because I felt guilty about leaving you.
I don't want to feel like that.
You don't have to worry about me.
You want to prove it to yourself?
Go to Paris.
A few thousand miles isn't going to
change the way that I feel about you.
Oh, Will...
Everyone, we have something to tell you.
We're getting married!
What is going on?
We worked everything out!
Will's going to quit his job
and I'm going to support us.
He's going to make the beds
and I'm going to go to Paris!
Eldin, this is what I want.
I hope you can be happy for me.
Let me be the first to congratulate you.
I hope you have a happy life filled
with all of the things that you deserve.
Don't worry about me.
I will use this pain to
inspire my greatest work.
Man dies on honeymoon.
So, Corky, you better let your
camera crew know that Paris is back on.
Oh, I'm so happy I'm finally going!
All I have to worry about now
are a few more wedding details.
Murphy, as my maid of honor, I'm
hoping you'll be able to help me out.
Oh, come on, Corky.
I was fitted for the dress.
I gave a shower.
If there's much more to this
wedding business, I want to be paid.
There are only a few more
decisions that have to be made.
Like where to have it, what
to eat, and who to invite.
I know you'll do a great job, Murphy.
Thank you.
I don't care if he's on
his hands and knees.
The car is mine.
The house is mine... Judy.
The skinny metal rod that turns on the
sprinklers and doesn't even have a name, is mine.
Judy!
And furthermore, if he tries
to get custody of the dog,
I'll drag his butt across the coals.
Make sure you use exactly those words.
Drag his butt.
Judy. Hang up the phone!
Gotta go, bye.
If the caterer calls about the menu,
just tell him to bring meat, put it
on a plate, and make it look good.
And if any of those sleazy tabloids call,
just tell them I don't have anything for
them, not even the color of the napkins.
What color are the napkins, Murph?
How the hell should I know?
While Corky's drinking
champagne at the House of Chanel,
I'm carting the Sherwoods to
the Sizzler for a rehearsal dinner.
How did I get involved in this?
You know, I'm surprised at you, Murph.
I thought you would have gotten
more into the spirit of things by now.
I mean, I know how
girls are about weddings.
I grew up with two sisters. They used to
dress me up as the groom and then henpeck me.
I thought all little girls loved to
fantasize about big, fancy weddings.
Sure, I did when I was a kid.
I was gonna get married
in a big, billowing tent by a
river with flowers and
candles as far as you could see.
Then afterward, there'd be a
horse-drawn carriage waiting
outside to take me and my
husband, Fabian, into the sunset.
See?
I knew it.
Look, all I'm trying to
say is that you might
as well take advantage of the situation.
After all, this may be the very last
chance you get to plan a wedding.
Oh, thank you so much.
And to think I was about
to ask you to be my date.
You couldn't get one either, huh?
We're pathetic.
Oh, I know.
But at least we dance well together.
Just think about what I said, okay?
You might find you actually
enjoy this wedding stuff.
Miles, I want to thank you for
asking me to be your date today.
Even though we've only been out twice,
everyone knows that the person
you picked to sit beside you
to watch two people make a
commitment to each other for all eternity
must be pretty special.
Right. And following that thought
along for a moment, Audrey, in case
anybody should ask, nobody has
to know this is only our third date.
Oh, okay.
Hi there, Jim.
Miles.
Uh, you remember Audrey?
Of course.
How lovely to see you again.
Doris and I were just reminiscing
about our own wedding day.
Yes, it was a lovely affair,
but fraught with mishaps.
The best man was late.
Jim lost the ring.
The gazebo collapsed.
We were robbed at gunpoint.
It was a rocky start, but
we never looked back.
If we had, we would have seen
that runaway hearse coming.
Oh, Miles.
Wedding memories.
Soon we'll have some of our own.
If we can just agree
on the last few details.
I want a traditional wedding
and Miles wants all the guests
to dress as their favourite
characters from literature.
I suppose it doesn't matter
as long as we're happy.
Although I really hope you'll reconsider
your idea to dress as Captain Ahab.
He's such a dark figure.
Thank you, Pookie.
What the hell are these?
I don't remember seeing
anything like these before.
They'll never move these.
How much do you want to bet?
c*ck weenies and beer.
That's what people go for.
Now, that's what we would have given them.
But did they ask us?
Fifty years in the restaurant
business, and they pass us by.
Oh, yeah.
Now I'm full.
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Coming through.
Could you clear a path, please?
Aha!
Excuse me.
There you are.
I just saw the centerpieces
on the dinner tables.
I ordered 50 white roses on every table.
Not 49, 50.
I'll bet you never
thought I'd actually count,
every single Rose on every single table.
Did you, Mr. Cheater Florist?
Excuse me.
Pardon.
Pardon.
So, Murph, you must be feeling pretty good.
Looks like everything's under control.
Under control?
I guess you missed seeing the
flower girl throw up on the ring bearer.
I just bounced a waiter out of the
kitchen who was putting a tape recorder
in the brioche, and somebody thought
they saw Rona Barrett parking cars.
I tell you, my nerves are
right on the surface of my skin.
Right there.
Right there.
Did you feed the horses?
Calm down, would you, Murph? If
anybody should be a wreck, it's me.
It's a miracle I was able
to fit you into the car.
I don't think I can do that again.
I may have to strap you to the hood.
Murphy, look!
Look who's here!
It's Kathleen Sullivan!
Oh, I don't believe it!
Look how gorgeous she is!
Looks like she's alone.
How can that be?
Look how gorgeous she is!
I love her.
You don't love her, Frank.
I do!
Murph, look, I've got to ask you a
favor. As one best friend to another.
How am I gonna get home, Frank?
I'll take you, Murphy!
I brought my camper!
I don't think it's wise to get this dress
too close to a kerosene stove, Carl.
I'll figure it out, Frank. Go.
Oh, Murph, if I didn't like
you so much, I'd marry you.
Pardon.
Pardon.
Pardon.
Get out of here, you garter snake!
That's just not fair, Bootsie.
I don't know why they can't spend a
few days with me after the honeymoon.
You're getting them for the
entire Father's Day weekend.
The Father's Day weekend
is only two days, Claire.
And another thing.
You've been hogging the photographer.
How many rolls of film have you used over?
Okay, it's showtime. Come on, ladies.
The natives are getting restless.
Here we go. Here we go.
Oh, darling, have a wonderful time.
And take good care of my son.
Let's hope he's good enough for you.
If you turn him into a
drunkard, I'll k*ll you.
Let's move it, ladies. We gotta go.
I'm running low on crab ba*ls out there.
Bye, sweetheart.
You know, there are
only 49 roses on my table.
I got your extra Rose right here, lady.
Come on, Corky, let's move it.
Come on, come on.
Oh, Murphy, this isn't the
way I pictured this day at all.
I don't know half the people here.
Our parents are fighting.
The press is driving me crazy.
Don't worry about the press, Corky.
I've got that situation under control.
What's that?
Helicopters.
No!
Get out of here, you vultures!
You're not getting one lousy picture!
I've got a bazooka and
I'm not afraid to use it!
Murphy, get back in here!
What am I going to do?
What am I going to do?
What do you mean, what are you going to do?
I put blood, sweat, and
tears into this wedding.
You're going down that
aisle, Corky Sherwood.
You're going if I have to drag you.
You better hurry, Corky.
Yeah, Daddy just called
Will's father a cheap b*stard.
Oh, God, I'm not having fun.
This is all a mistake.
A terrible mistake.
Miles.
What, Audrey?
I've kind of been working
out the courage to tell you this.
But I just want to say...
Well, I'm not really sure
why you asked me here today.
See, I don't really think of
myself as anyone special.
But you, you're very special.
So smart and so handsome.
I've never met anyone like you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is...
I know I'll never be very
important in your life.
And I can accept that.
But I wish it were different.
Oh, Pookie.
Everybody. Can I have
your attention, please?
Could I have your attention, please?
Miles!
I suppose you're all wondering about the
delay, and I'm here now to explain it to you.
But first, let me just say
how nice everyone looks.
Why don't you give yourselves a nice hand?
Come on.
Okay, let's get to the point.
This is a very difficult thing
I'm about to tell you. Um, but...
There isn't going to be any wedding.
The bride and groom have
been having some problems.
They've already left for their
respective homes to do some thinking.
We appreciate your understanding.
Have a nice day.
Well, everybody's gone.
Except Jim and Doris.
They're out there
waiting for the tow truck.
Boy, this has been a rotten day all around.
Poor Corky.
She must be crushed.
They're doing the right thing, Frank.
Well, if you're ready, we may as well go.
Not so fast.
There's one more thing I gotta do.
Go for it, guys.
Will and Corky brought the heart.
I thought I'd take care of the soul.
The Temptations!
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
♪ Here comes your baby ♪
♪ All dressed in white ♪
♪ Oh, it feels like a mile ♪
♪ As she walks down the aisle ♪
♪ I know she loves you ♪
♪ Look at her smile ♪
♪ Here comes your baby ♪
♪To be your wife ♪
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