08x05 - GOAT

[bunniefuu]

[Jazz] Previously on
I Am Jazz.

Would you be okay
if I kissed you?

I don't know.

-I'll save that kiss
for another date.
-Okay, cool.

[Jazz] I've been talking
to this other guy
who's a little older.

He's 26 years old
and his name is Yash.

Yeah, I would love that,

-[Jeanette] Beautiful.
-Mom, can you tie it for me?

Mmm-hmm, I'm coming around.

[Jeanette]
It it is so hard to let go

and I have been
so protective of her,

but she's old enough,
she's got this.

She's gonna do it
on her terms,

and, you know,
I'm happy for her

but I'm also
pleasantly cautious.

[Jazz] I'm nervous
because it's been
many years

since I've been on
a one-on-one date.

I actually
just started feeling
really sick know.

All of a sudden,
I feel sick to my stomach.

I don't feel well
for this date.

I don't even think
I could go inside.

Not good.

Literally, my stomach
is causing problems,

and I have acid reflux
and heartburn going on,

and I'm not ready to meet Yash

under these conditions.

I just don't want to throw up
because then if I throw up
then I'm not kissing anyone.

[producer] No. [chuckles]

There you go.

-[producer] Yes.
-Your girl got issues.

I'm feeling a little better.

I'm feeling a lot of anxiety
about this date.

Even though I just recently
went on a date with Daron,

I feel like
that was just, like,
testing the waters

and this is
an even bigger date

because I am
on my own this time.

So I am a ball of anxiety
right now,

I have butterflies,
and I have no idea
how this is gonna go.

-Yash?
-Hey, Jazz.

Hello.

-Hi, Yash. How are you?
-Hey, Jazz.

-Pleasure to see you.
-Good to see you, too.

-Nice to meet you in person.
-Yeah, finally, right?

-I know.
-How's your day been
so far?

-Today's been good.
How was your day?
-But, yeah.

It's been pretty chill.

I see there's a drink there.
Is that mine?

-Yeah go for it.
-All right, I'm gonna try it.

-Oh, no, it's gonna spill.
-It's okay, you got this.

-Mmm.
-How is it?

-It's really good.
-Nice.

-I don't drink a lot,
really, ever,
-Yeah?

but this is yummy,
this tastes good.

-I'm gonna take another sip.
-Yeah.

Oh, I can only imagine
how crazy the parties
at Harvard must get.

-Insane.
-[chuckles]

No, so all my siblings
went to University of Florida,
Gators.

-Ah, cool.
-I am the youngest of four.

-I think I was telling you
about that.
-Yeah.

But, yeah,
that school's a party school.

So, you're heading back up
in, like, a week and a half?

Classes are starting early
for you?

So, yeah,
about a week and a half,

and I really am excited
to go back.

-I did two gap years
-Yeah.

where I spent a lot of time
focusing on myself
and my personal goals.

Sounds like you're not
pressuring yourself

-No, exactly, no.
-to follow society's
BS standards.

You're just
doing what you want.

I'm charting my own path,
for sure.

I know what I want,

and I'm gonna work hard
to achieve what I want,
you know?

-I like that.
-I just want to be happy.

-To be... Okay.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

-You're asking
for too much now.
-[laughs]

You know, we gotta...

In the past,
I don't know
if I could say that

because I went through
a pretty dark period of time
where I was really struggling,

-Yeah.
-but I'm a lot better now

and I feel more confident
and sure of myself,
which is good.

Not that I can relate
to the same life experiences
that you've had,

-but I've had
my own fair share
-Of course.

of, like, [bleep],

and it takes a while
to reprogram your mind

to think differently about
how you can find happiness
in life.

-Mmm.
-Especially when you...

I really the things you say.
You're so, like,
deep and wise.

-Like, I feel it, for sure.
-Thanks.

Yash is great,
and he's really mature, too.

I think
that comes with his age,

but I feel, like,
comes a maturity

that the people
I've dated in the past
haven't had.

And he's cute, for sure.
Like, definitely attractive.

Do you want
to play, like, cornhole
or anything right now?

-Sure, I'm down.
-All right.

I have to warn you though,
I suck at this game.

-Nice.
-[Yash laughs]

If I get this on my first try
I'll be so happy.

-Oh, my God, it went in.
-Did it go in?

That's awesome. I called that.

I was like, "That's going in."

You did play soccer.

What was the other sports
you said you played again?

I played lacrosse,
and tennis, and flag football.

Oh, that's ridiculous.
That actually sucks.
I have to get this one in now.

Yes, that's the second time
I called it.

-What the heck?
-Yeah, that's amazing.

If you want
to grab another drink
or maybe go for a walk?

Yeah, let's go for a walk.
Honestly, it's really nice.

I feel at ease
talking with Yash.

I do think he's
a great conversationalist.

I find him interesting,
and he's just smart,

and so many
different qualities about him
are so positive.

So, have you had fun tonight?

-Oh, yeah, I love it.
This was great.
-Yeah,

I'm having
so much fun tonight.

-Getting to know you,
though, like, you're really...
-Yeah, you're really cool.

I think
you're really cool, too.

Yeah, you're interesting.

You know,
you're different
than most people.

You're unique
which is amazing.

I mean, I do believe
everyone's unique,
but you're extra unique.

Well, you know,
and more power to you.

I would argue and say
most people aren't
that unique,

or most people
don't want to be unique,

-so they try
to limit themselves,
-Mmm.

but you, on the other hand,
are not limiting yourself.

You're embracing
your uniqueness,

-so I admire that about you.
-Mmm-hmm.

I am a [bleep] weirdo
and I know it.

-[laughs]
-Good. [laughs]

-Be the [bleep] weirdo.
-[deep voice]
Be the [bleep] weirdo.

Exactly.
Keep using that voice, too.

-That's pretty cool,
badass voice. [chuckles]
-[deep voice] Yes.

Oh, my God, your laugh.
I love your laugh.
[imitates laugh]

-Oh, thank you.
-[laughs] Sorry.

-No, it's okay. It was great.
-It's the...

It's actually better
when you do it

-so, you know what,
-[imitates laugh]

I think you should
just keep doing it
from here on out.

That's so cute. I love it.

I think we're vibing,
and there's definitely
a connection there.

I don't know if he's ready
for a kiss or not,

but, not gonna lie,
I would be open to it.

Well...

[humming]

Yeah, I guess
this would be time

-to head back home
for the night, I suppose.
-Yeah.

[sighing] Yeah.
I am a little tired, for sure.

-It's pretty late.
-Yeah.

But I really did have
a good time with you.

Yeah, I really liked
talking to you.

-Yeah.
-You're really cool, Jazz.

I would definitely love
to get together again,
for sure.

It's gonna happen, for sure.

-Your hair is in your face.
-Ah, thank you.

Oh, no, it's blowing back
in your face.

-[chuckles]
-I appreciate the effort.

-Our hair, our long hair.
-Indeed.

[Jazz] Yash doesn't go in
for the kiss,

but I want someone to want me.

I want to feel desired,
and Yash is not giving me
any of that energy right now.

Not gonna lie though,
I am a little disappointed.

Well, if you want,
I can get a ride for you,
if you like.

-Yeah, let's do it.
Let's head out, all right?
-Cool.

[humming]

♪ I don't know what it is
but I keep dreaming ♪

♪ keep dreaming
about you, babe ♪

♪ I guess
we're more than friends
because I've got feelings ♪

♪ and I don't think
they can't wait ♪

Yoga. Oh, Nemo,
do you want to come
to goat yoga?

-Nemo! Nemo's here.
-It's a beautiful day
for yoga.

[Jacky] You're the cat's meow.

[Jeanette]
Are you guys excited
for a family day?

Yeah, oh, yeah, always.

-I love being with the family.
-[Jeanette] I hope
I don't get car sick.

[Jazz] I texted Yash
after our date last night
but he hasn't responded yet,

and I'm just trying
not to let it get to me.

-[Jeanette] I have the address
right here.
-[Greg] Okay.

Just hang on.

I will get us there.

Goat yoga.

[Jeanette] We are heading
to goat yoga.

I've been told
it's a lot of fun.

I don't like yoga
but I love goats.

Just want to play with goats.

-Sounds like a baa-d idea.
-Sounds like naa-maste.

[Jack snoring]

Aww, Grandpa just snored.

[Jeanette chuckles]

Did one little baby snore.
He's not a snorer.

-Who?
-[laughs]

Let's hear about Jazz's date.

Okay, so I did go on a date,

and he was
really, really cool.

And we went to this park,
and there was, like, a lake,

and we were just
sitting on the edge,
and it was kind of romantic.

-I wasn't sure if he was gonna
lean in for a kiss or not,
-13.

but he didn't,
and then I ended on
kind of a flat note there.

Are you waiting
to hear from this person?

If he was, like,
"Let's go out on another date"
I would totally be open to it.

You could just
text this person

and say that,
"I had a lovely time.
I hope it was mutual."

Which, I did, yeah.

-I did, yeah.
-Oh, if you did that already,
great.

Then leave it alone.

Dating is tough.
Welcome to the party, Jazz.

I've often said

you have to kiss
a lot of frogs

before you hit the prince.

Well, this is the time
to live and learn.

I do not have a view
of us sitting in the pew,

watching her
walk down the aisle
with Brad Pitt.

Those days are not existing.

Are you kidding?
Brad Pitt is much too old
for Jazz.

All right, so maybe Bieber,
the beaver, or whatever.

-Bieber?
-Beaver, the singer?

I don't come
to any conclusions.

When I was Jazz's age,

I didn't have
the slightest idea

that I was gonna meet anybody
like you,

and how could I make
any decisions

about who Jazz should be with?

That's interesting. [chuckles]

-Oh, my God,
they're selling goat cheese.
-Ooh.

-I hate goat cheese.
-I love goat cheese.

[Greg] Hey, how you doing?

-Hey, I'm Griff.
-Hey, welcome.

Is this the first time

you guys have been
to goat yoga?

Yeah. You gonna introduce us
to all the goats now?

[Julian]
There's about, I think,
70, 80 goats here.

These goats are show goats,

so they're super calm
and they're super
well behaved,

especially around people.

I'm gonna set up
my yoga mat over there.

So when you're ready,
feel free to take a mat
of your choice,

and we're gonna come into
the goat farm area.

I still don't know
the relationship
between goats and yoga.

-[Greg] It's like they know
something's okay.
-[Jeanette] Oh, my God.

[Jazz] Hi, my friend. Hi.

Hi. Oh.

They love the yoga.

[Greg]
How do we avoid the dookie?

This is their pen.

This is where they live,
this is where
they do everything,

they eat and everything else.

So pooping and peeing
is part of this space,

and sometimes it's part
of the experience.

If they happen
to poop or pee on your mat,

-flip your mat over.
-Oh, oh, oh, more poop.

Look, we have
an example right here.

[Jazz] This goat's
pooping right now.

[Julian] You have to kind of
embrace the dookie here.

I totally forgot
that goats poop. [chuckles]

-[Julian] Oh, wow,
-Ah, oh.

-everybody's
getting love today.
-Oh, my God.

-Smile.
-Ahh!

Okay. Oh, God.
All right, we're done. No.

You're too little.
Oh! [laughs]

-Oh, no, on his...
-[sighs]

Hey, I'm getting jealous
over here.

-This goat...
-Grandpa, are you still there?

I'm here. I don't know
about my kneecap.

Take your hands
and place them in prayer
in front of your heart.

I'd like to encourage you
to maybe practice love,

practice patience,
practice empathy,

compassion for the situations
you can't control.

Send love to the challenges
in your life.

See them as opportunities.

And then, when you're ready,
let's begin.

Blink your eyes open,
inhale, reach your arms up,

look up to the sky.

Push the hand down,
reach the right arm up,
and over to the right side.

Do I have crap
on the bottom of my shoe?

[thunder rumbling]

When you're ready,
extend the legs out
in front.

Oh, I think I feel a raindrop.

-Raise your arms up.
-[Jeanette] Greg,

-Look up to the sky.
-I am not doing this.

Give her the keys.

A drop of rain
hits me between the eyes,

and I'm like, "Mmm,
maybe my mom didn't feel that"

because I know as soon as
one little drop hits her
she's out of there.

-Raindrops are falling.
-Grandma, where are you going?

-She doesn't...
-You don't feel the raindrops?

Your grandmother's out of here
when it raining.

She's getting her umbrella.

I don't like rain.
I don't like weather.

I am a firm believer
Mother Nature wins.

The last time
I saw your hair wet
was in a beauty salon.

We're not talking
about my hair.

It's threatening.

Weather is threatening to me.

Take your hands
and place them in prayer
in front of your heart,

And then if you want
to go deeper,

you start
to grow your branches

and you think to yourself

what kind of tree
am I emulating today?

In South Florida
are we mango trees,
are we lychee trees?

-Citrus trees?
-[chuckles softly]

And then exhale,
release it down.

Let's go ahead
and have a seat
on our mat.

Come on, goats, come here.

Remember the purpose
for practice this morning,

for what situations,
for who in your life

would you like to be
more peaceful
and more loving?

Thank you very much, everyone,
and naa-aaa-maste.

[all] Naa-aaa-maste.

Thank you.

Did you understand goat yoga?

Do you have
any understanding of it?

-The concept
of the two things together?
-No.

-Not completely.
-No.

-Soft, soft.
-Oh, another one's here.
Hi, big girl.

-Hello, sweetie.
-Most of them are girls.

-Yes.
-[gasps] Another one.

Did you hear back from Yash?

Oh, no, eating my phone case.

Oh, he sent me
a message, actually.

I said, "Thank you so much
for a fun night."

He said, "Same to you, Jazz."

Oh, look at that.

How do you feel about, like,
texting him back and saying,
you know,

"Do you think
we had a connection?"
What do you think?

I'm a little hesitant
to do that

because what if I say,
"Do we have a connection?"
and he says "No"?

Well, that kind of
puts me in a vulnerable place.

Yash's response
made it seem like
he's not that interested,

and I want to date someone

who's excited
to get to know me more,

and I feel like
there's a lack of interest
in his response,

and therefore I feel like
things are gonna kind of
fizzle out.

-So excited.
-It's, like, so exciting.

Jacqueline and I

are going to
a speed dating event,

and I am very intrigued
because it is a q*eer event.

So, who knows,
maybe I'll meet someone.

Let's put our hope
into finding people tonight

who respect and appreciate us
for who we are.

Cone, cone.

My car!

I'm Jazz, I'm 21 years old.

Yeah, how about you?

That's 14 years older than me.

Can the three minutes end now?

[Jazz]
I have to complete
the college's

sexual harassment
and misconduct training

to enroll in classes,

-Oh.
-so I can't do anything

until I finish that.

Okay, but we can
pick out classes, right?

-We can pick out classes.
-Okay.

-Shall I do the...
I'm gonna see how much--
-Here's paper...

and pencil
since they are...

Pen... Which pen
do you want?

[Jeanette]
I never got involved with

the other kids
picking classes.

They were very independent,
off on their own.

We have learned
from the last two semesters,

because she waited
and didn't do her research,

she either ended up
not getting the classes
she wanted to,

and the ones she did get
she did not enjoy.

So Greg and I said to her,

"This time
we're gonna get involved.

We're gonna make sure
you get it right."

-Jazz,
what are you focusing on?
-Yeah, you...

-What are you trying to...
-[Jazz] I don't know,
this is so hard

because I don't know
what I want to do career wise.

Have you declared a major yet?

No, you don't have to

until the end
of sophomore year.

-I graduated college...
-Thank God,

because if I would have had
to declare a major

-I would be so lost right now.
-Jazz, I was...

Actually, declaring a major
is what makes you less lost

because you have less...

But then you have to follow
a structured path

that you may not
be interested.

[Jazz] I know
I'm procrastinating
in picking out classes,

but I feel like
there's so many
different doors

and I just have to pick

which door
I want to walk through.

I'm just feeling
really anxious

in what I want to do
with my life.

It's too much.

Okay, interesting.

To apply for enrollment,
enter lottery
and building though,t

-please complete the following
by Sunday, August 21st.
-[Jeanette] Oh, my God.

-So I have sevens to complete.
-[Jeanette] My God.

Do you want me
to fill out the questionnaire?

No, why are you asking us?

-I don't know
if I'm fully interested.
-This is your schedule.

I need to read more
about the course first.

The pressure's
starting to get to me.

I have to start
charting out my life

and what direction
I'm gonna go in,

and I don't want
to waste my time
taking classes

that aren't gonna help me
with what I choose to do
in my later life.

But also, I have the ability
to be successful
without a degree.

-I know, but you're there.
-I know, I know.

[Jeanette]
My patience has been tested,

and that patience
has been tested,

and I've run out of patience.

It's gone.

-Oh, my God, guys,
school is a lot.
-Yes, it is.

[Jazz groans]

-[sighs]
-Allie, we're gonna go inside.

Do you remember
when my name
used to be Jared?

-Yes.
-She knew me as Jared.

Wait, you only knew me
as Jazz though, right?

I knew you
when you first started
going by Jazz,

-Yes.
-so, like, Casey would
still call you Jared,

and it was, like,
kind of confusing
for me at first.

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Jazz] Kaci and Jay
are like my sisters.

We've been friends
since early childhood,

and I love them both,

and today
we're gonna take Kaci's dog
to the dog park.

[Kaci]
Oh, there's another dog here.

-That's exciting.
-There's another dog.

-Let's meet this other dog.
-Allie, come on.

A friend.

-Hi, what's your dog's name?
-Hi.

-Baxter.
-Baxter.

[both] Aww, she likes him.

It's been a few days now
since the date with Yash,

and I feel kind of confused
by how things ended.

But Kaci and Jay
are old souls,

and they're
really, really wise,

and I know that
they're always there for me

to provide advice
or whatever I need.

Wait,
I wanted to tell you both,

you know how
I went on that date
with the guy, Yash?

-[Jay] Yes.
-I've not heard back from him.

[Kaci] Oh, no.

I know, I thanked him
for a good night,

he said, "Same to you, Jazz."

and then
he hasn't reached out to me.

So I don't know

if I'm supposed
to make a move or not.

I want to feel desired,
you know?

[Kaci] You're a great person.

If he actually was into you
he would...

-[Jazz] Yeah,
he would make the move,
-have already said something.

you know?

[Jazz] That's how I feel.

Do you have any plans
on, like, dating again?

I mean, I'm trying to find
new people.

-I might go speed dating
with Jacqueline.
-[Jay gasps]

I know, I've never been
speed dating before
so I'm like, "Okay."

You know,
my dates with Daron and Yash
didn't really go as planned.

I did not find summer love.

However,
hopefully at speed dating
I will meet someone.

Just, like, see it
as meeting new people,

-making friends.
-Exactly, I'm good at that.

-[Jay] Be yourself.
-[Jazz] I'm a good
conversationalist.

Exactly.

How do you feel like
it's gonna be

with your social anxiety,
like, meeting so many people

-[Jazz] Mmm.
-in such a short amount
of time?

I mean, it's gonna be hard.

My social anxiety
is definitely prevalent
at times,

but I'm also so much better
than I used to be

-when it comes
to my social anxiety.
-Mmm-hmm.

Like, I think college
has helped a lot with that

because you meet
so many new people

and you have to, like,
engage in so many
social situations

that you just kind of, like,
learn from experience
to let go

-Yeah.
-and just be yourself.

I understand.

-Her feet are hot again.
-Hi, baby. [cooing]

Yeah, she looks
like she's trying
to stand off of them.

Her feet get so hot.

We need to bring her
back to the shade.

Look, there's a bowl
over there,

we could put some water in it.

[Jazz] Oh, totally.

So, like, tell me more
about Harvard.

How's the experience
been like there?

Overall it was
a great experience

and I grew a lot as a person.

But I haven't really talked
to my parents about it,

but it's been going on
in my mind, like,

I wonder if Harvard is even
the right school for me.

Like, it's so amazing,

and you could do
whatever you want there.

But, like, it's been
a little stressful,

'cause I have to, like,
pick out classes

and I have to figure out
my major, my concentration,

and what I wanna do
for the rest of my life.

And those are huge decisions.

I'm just trying
to find the path

that makes me the happiest

and that will lead
to the greatest
fulfillment for me, but...

Well, do you feel like
you're going to Harvard

because you really
wanna be at Harvard

and you're happy there?

Do you feel like the pressure

of everything around you

and everyone around you

is kind of pushing you
in that direction?

I just really don't want it
to seem like I'm ungrateful

because I've been gifted
with this amazing opportunity

at Harvard.

So many dreams
come true there.

But at the same time,
I have to...

I have to weigh in, you know,

how I'm feeling

and what feels right for me.

And maybe Harvard
just isn't the right fit.

I feel like this is something

you definitely need to talk
to your parents about.

[Jazz] We've been here before.

Depending on how
things go this next semester,

I'm not sure if I wanna
go back to Harvard or not.

And I really don't know

how my parents
are gonna respond

to me saying, like,

"Hey, look, maybe I wanna
take a different path."

I just hope they don't
freak out too much when I,

you know, bring the idea
to the table.

Hello! Welcome, everyone!

It's been hard putting myself
out there this entire summer.

But I feel like I've got
nothing to lose.

Uh, I'm a Libra.

Do you like Libras, or no?

Okay, this is
a little awkward.

So, Jaclyn.

Tell me a little bit about
what we're doing tonight.

But I really
don't know everything.

It's, like, a q*eer event
that I found.

And I'm really excited

because I wanna get us both,

like, out and doing stuff.

-Yes.
-Because I feel like
we're both kind of, like...

We need to be kinda pushed
outside of our comfort zones.

Jaclyn and I are going
to a speed dating event.

And I am very intrigued

because it is a q*eer event,

so who knows,

maybe I'll meet someone.

Maybe.

Oh, I'm gonna miss you
when I go off to school soon.

[Jaclyn] I know!
I'm gonna miss you, too.

-[Jazz] We'll stay in touch.
-Yeah.

And I'm really excited, too,

especially for my upcoming
breast augmentation.

[gasping]

-It's gonna be awesome!
-I know!

I'm so excited!

I feel like every day
we're getting
closer and closer

-to the day.
-We really are.

It's so exciting.

And then I feel like too
this is gonna be
a really great way

to kind of, like, enhance
my dating experience.

-Mmm-hmm.
-And like, my navigating...

my navigation...

[both laughing]

...of the dating world
as a trans woman.

Because I feel like
I'm gonna be

so much more connected
with my body...

-Yeah.
-And to finally have it,

like, coming here,
is so exciting.

I am so over the moon

to get my breast surgery
and have boobs.

Because it's aligning myself
with my inner being.

And it can be very difficult

finding love as a trans woman,

you know, especially

as a trans woman
that hasn't had surgery yet.

So exciting!

[in a silly voice]
This is very exciting.

Honestly, we're a little
pumped up, which is good.

-I know!
-I feel like we need
some energy

-going into this dating thing.
-We need this...

We need this kinda, like,

[exhales] 'I'm ready
to date' energy.

[Jazz] Okay...

[Jaclyn] I think it's a really
good idea to bring Jazz

to this speed dating thing

because it's gonna kind of
get her out of her shell.

She has three minutes
to talk to someone,

see if they connect.

If they do, great.
If they don't, oh, well.

You talked to them, moving on.

I know that there's gonna be
a lot of, like, sexually fluid

and like, bisexual
people there.

-Um...
-Okay, so, like, bisexual.

-Even maybe pansexual people.
-Yeah.

It's good that
it's a q*eer event

because obviously
we're both transgender women

and we wanna find people

who are gonna be
accepting and loving

and supportive and embracing

of us for who we are.

-Exactly.
-We don't want any bigots.

And I feel like
if you're going to an event

that is q*eer-faced,

you're not gonna find
someone bigoted.

Let's put our hope
into finding people tonight

who'll respect
and appreciate us

for who we are as women.

And people who are
just kind and genuinely...

-Cone, cone!
-[soft thudding]

[gasping]

It's okay. It's okay.

We hit a cone.

-It's okay.
-I'm...

It was not a car or anything,
so we're good.

I hit a cone!

-Oh, my gosh.
-[Jazz inhales nervously]

-We're almost there, girl.
-[Jaclyn sighs]

-I literally am so nervous.
-I'm a little...

I'm a little intimidated, too.

Because you have to, like,
meet these strangers

and like, converse
really quickly,

trying to get to know someone.

I don't know what
it's gonna be like,

I don't know if this is gonna
work for me or not, but...

But we got 10 seconds
to decide, girl.

The cone! Stop, stop.

-[thudding]
-You did it again!

-[laughing]
-I didn't see it.

For real?

I don't know Jaclyn
is the best driver.

Eyes on the road, girl.

All right, we're here!

-Let's go. Let's do it.
-[sighing]

Girl, I gotta check my car.

[Jazz] Oh, just a little bit.

That's not too bad,
that's not too bad.

[Jaclyn] It's fine.

-There's the cone over there.
-Uh-huh.

Just lying dead on the ground.

Just lying dead on the floor.

You know what they say,
that trans girls can't drive.

[laughing]

[Jazz] While Dayron
and Yash were great,

both of those dates
were a bust.

And I don't want speed dating
to be a bust, too.

All right, you ready for this?

-I'm ready.
-Let's do it.

Let's go.

I love those.

Oh, great, this is the place.

All right, well,
this is a vibe.

-Yeah.
-This is cool.

Look at the roses
and the candles.

-[Jaclyn] I love it.
-Very romantic.

-It's summer Valentine's Day.
-Summer Valentine's Day.

This could be interesting.

I'm like, a little nervous.

This is gonna be
interesting for sure.

Yeah.

As we arrive at the event,

I'm feeling okay.

It really does feel good
to have Jaclyn by my side.

She's someone
I can just, like...

confide in.

And if things
aren't going well,

I could be like,
"All right, Jaclyn,
we gotta get out of here."

What do you think?
You see anyone
who's, like, cute?

No, not yet...

No.

You're just like, "No."

[laughing] No.

I'm weird, like.

Unless I really think
someone's attractive,

I don't really get, like,
attractive vibes

until I'm, like, up front
in front of them

and talking to them,
you know what I mean?

[Jazz] Totally.

I think it's about to begin.

Seeing all of these
single people in the room,

it's making me nervous

but also excited.

It's been hard putting
myself out there
this entire summer,

but I feel like
I've got nothing to lose.

I'm on a quest to find love

and I wanna meet
that special person.

And the only way to do that

is by putting
yourself out there.

Hello! Welcome, everyone!

[everyone] Hi!

Welcome to our speed
dating event

for sexually fluid singles.

We're gonna get started
in just a moment.

So I'd like to invite you all
to take a seat

anywhere that you'd like.

Hello!

-Hi, how are you?
-I'm good, how are you?

-What's your name?
-Steven, and you?

Say it one more time?

-Steven.
-Steven?

-Uh-huh.
-Wow, awesome.

-Thank you.
-How old are you?

Okay, wait.
I'm Jazz, by the way.

Let me say my name first.

-Jazz? Jazz.
-Jazz.

I'm 21 years old.

Yeah, how about you?

You're 25?

You're older than 25?

-35?
-Yeah.

Oh, wow.

-"Wow"?
-Okay.

Why you say...

-Why you do this face?
-[Jazz hesitating]

Well, I've never dated
someone who...

I don't date a lot of people.

But, like, 35, like,
that's 14 years older than me.

There are some interesting
people at this event.

There is a colorful array
of individuals.

-[laughing]
-Yeah, yeah...

Like, ugh, awkward.

Can the three minutes end now?

[Paula] Please stand up
and shift to your next seat.

[Jazz] I'm heading into
this speed dating event

with an open mind.

But even with Jaclyn
by my side,

I'm not gonna deny
that I am nervous.

Like, this is
the type of thing

where you really can
easily get in your head

and you just have to be
true and authentic to you.

-Hello.
-Hey.

Oh, look at your cool make-up
and your tattoos

and everything.

-What's your name?
-Venus.

-Venus! Okay.
-Yeah.

Such a cool name.

-You have a cool name, too.
-Jazz.

[laughing awkwardly]

What do you do, like,
hobbies-wise?

I'm in a band.

Okay, are you, like,
the singer

or do you play an instrument?

I'm the singer
and keyboardist.

Oh, wow. That's awesome!

What's your band's name?

It's called Actias Luna.

I've a cat named Luna.

-Really?
-Yeah!

-Me too.
-Really?

Oh, my God.

I love Luna, she's so cute.

How old is she?

She's, like,
six years old now.

-How old is your Luna?
-So is my cat.

-Really?
-Well, no.

I have eight cats.

-Oh, wow.
-But same as another cat.

Eight cats! That's crazy!

I'm vibing right now, like...

There are some really
special people here.

Some of the individuals
I'm talking to

are super interesting.

And it's so, so cool.

I really, just,
like talking to people.

All right, well, it was nice
talking to you.

-Yeah, it was.
-Enjoy the rest of this.

Jaclyn's presence
is definitely helping
lessen the nerves.

But I feel like
Jaclyn's nervous, too.

[laughing]

Hello.

-How are you?
-I'm good, how about you?

Oh, my God.
You fixed yourself up
a little plate there...

[both laughing]

All right, so,
what's your name?

-Ava.
-Ava!

-I'm Jazz, nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

I'm 21, how old are you?

Okay, so we're about
the same age.

Um, I'm a Libra.

Do you like Libras or no?
[laughing nervously]

But then when
it kinda goes off...

-it goes off.
-The scales, yeah.

We can be imbalanced at times.

And when that happens,
it's a trainwreck, but...

-I guess so.
-I'm not gonna lie to you.

-Yeah!
-[both laughing]

So, what do you do?

Well, I model,
I'm in school...

Okay, that's a given.

-[Ava giggles]
-Modelling, like,
you're beautiful.

-Thank you.
-Yeah.

No, so are you, like,
sexually fluid?

That's how I feel!

Exactly.

Yes! Preach it. Oh, my God.

I feel the same way.

I mean, I don't even like
using labels.

Just saying, "I'm Jazz"
and I'm a person.

And whoever I'm attracted to
is whoever I'm attracted to.

-You know?
-Exactly.

All right, everyone!

Time is up!

Let's stand up and go
to our next partners.

Ugh, I wish we got
to talk more.

-I know!
-I think you're super cool.

-This conversation is--
-Yeah, you're super cool.

-[both laughing awkwardly]
-Bye-bye.

It is easy to tell
when you have

a connection with someone

because some conversations
just flow like that.

Other conversations
are much harder.

It really depends on
the person you're talking to.

Hello!

I'm good, how about you?

-I'm Jazz.
-I'm Kristian.

-Kristian, okay.
-Yeah.

So, what are your interests?

Modeling? Okay. Awesome.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

-Okay, I don't know...
-Yeah, that's... It's okay.

...too much about
the fashion industry at all.

It's okay.

Like, I came here.
Some people are dressed
really fancy, really nice.

-I'm in, like, my boho top.
-You still look good.

Thank you.

-Thank you so much.
-Of course.

Don't be nervous!

I'm just a person.

[laughing]

I'm really surprising myself
at this speed dating event

because even though
I have faced a lot
of social anxiety in the past,

I feel like a lot of that
isn't present here right now,

and I'm just kind of
connecting with people

and learning about them

and I'm not worrying about
what they think about me

or if they like me
or don't like me.

And I'm having
a really good time.

Just, um...

-Okay.
-So, I kinda
wanna go into, like...

I'm a little artist.
I did a little eyeball.

[laughing]

Did I win you over?

[laughing] Yeah.

It is so exciting
to talk to people

who seem genuinely
interested in me.

We're just conversing

and I'm vibing with people

and it's really fun.

Oh, hi, beautiful.

[Jazz] How are you?

Are you enjoying yourself?

I'm having a good time.

So, tell me more about you.

Jamaican? Wow. Beautiful.

I found myself
being more attracted

to the women
more so than the men,

which is really interesting,

and it makes me question,
like, should I approach dating

from a different angle?

Should I be hitting
on women more?

Like, is that formu--

I don't know! It just...

It's a little confusing.

And I know it'll clear up

as I learn more about
who I am as a person

and what I want.

All right, everyone!

Time's up, and that
was our last round.

Do you think you made
some matches?

-[everyone] Yeah!
-[Paula] Yeah?

Speed dating has helped me

move past my situation
with Yash.

I am just moving forward now.

If someone is not
interested in me,

then I don't wanna
waste my time

trying to build
something with them.

I don't feel like Yash
was super interested in me...

So, I have an open mind

and I am moving forward.

[both squealing]

-I love you!
-[both laughing]

[Jazz sighing]

[Jaclyn] Well, that was
an interesting night.

I know.

[laughing]

It's nice not talking
to a stranger.

[Jaclyn] Adiós, puchachos.

All right, so...

How was that for you?

That was pretty good.

I mean, I'm a little
disappointed...

I liked the guy, Kristian,
I though the was pretty cute.

[Jazz] Don't be nervous!

He was really cute.

When he came over
to talk to me,

I'm not gonna lie,
I was kinda disappointed

with his energy and his vibe.

I also kind of...

vibe-wise, didn't really
connect with him that much.

But some of the ladies there,

or female-presenting people,

I did really
connect with and...

[Jaclyn] Me, too.

Yeah, they were super sweet

and I was like, "Oh, wow.

Like, you're really cool.

Like, this is amazing..."

-I don't know,
it was really fun.
-I agree.

There were some really nice

female-identifying
people there.

I haven't dated
a lot of girls in my life.

So, this speed dating event
really showed me

that, you know,
maybe I should pursue women

because I connected
with the women at the event
more than the men.

[sighing]

I just don't think I like men.

[giggling] No. I'm kidding.

You know, I felt
really confident tonight.

In the past,
I have experienced

a lot of social anxiety,

and I feel like
the more I grow up,

the more I'm overcoming it.

I feel like I'm not gonna
be nervous anymore

when I talk to people

I'm just gonna be
my true, authentic self.

I feel like I sound like
a pageant queen right now.

I'm like, "I enter
with optimism

and the hope that
I will find someone.

I know that by being
the true version of me,

I will meet the lover
of my life!"

And that's it.

I do have a lot
to tell my parents

about my future at Harvard.

There's something I wanted
to talk to both of you about.

I really am just nervous

that my parents are gonna
be broken-hearted

by me even considering
this as an option.

[Jeanette] What?
What do you mean?

-[Greg] Hmm...
-[Jazz] Not quite.

I'll let you off the hook.

Oh! I keep...

-[Greg] You ready?
-Mmm-hmm.

[groaning]

Got ya.

-Oh, I got you.
-Okay, tips. Tips count.

-You guys are so competitive.
-[Jazz] Let's just play this.

I would never play that game.

I'm sucky at it.

Good game, good game.

-I'll shuffle these.
-I love watching--

I love watching your bridges,

mine aren't as good as yours.

[Greg] Oh, look at you.
Card show.

That's the best I can do.

I think I hear some boys
wanting in, too.

[brother calling out
indistinctly]

-All right.
-Are we gonna
deal them in or--

-Wassup?
-You wanna play?

-We have plans.
-We just started.

We just started.

[Jeanette and Jazz] Oh...

I'm like, about to put
my socks on and everything.

[Sander] We're going out!

Jazz is outdating us
right now,

so, like, we gotta
pick up our game.

Didn't you just do
speed dating, too?

Yes, I did.

-What was that like?
-What is speed dating?

It was really cool
'cause everyone there

was sexually fluid

and you got to mingle
with not just...

men but with women as well.

Like, it was a whole
array of people.

And it was interesting
'cause I haven't had

as much experience
dating women,

but the women
were really cool.

I think I kinda bonded
with some of the women

more so than some
of the men that were there.

And when people came over
I would be like,

"Hey, handsome!"
or "Hey, beautiful."

-[Jeanette] Ooh...
-Like, I was like...

a little flirty.

So, was speed dating
a success?

It was a success in terms of

me discovering more
about myself

and how confident
and strong I can be.

Um, but in terms
of finding someone...

I'm mostly attracted to people
based off their personality

and in three minutes
you can't really get a grasp

of someone's personality.

It's kind of...
It's hard, it's hard.

I think I'm giving up
on dating in Florida.

I'm gonna be living
in Cambridge

for a couple months anyway,

and that's where
my primary home is at,

so I'm really looking forward

to taking this dating app
to Massachusetts.

And hopefully,
I'll meet someone there

who's local,

and I'll fall in love.

So, where are you guys
going tonight?

Well, that's for us to know

and you to look up
on 'Find My Kids'.

-'Find My Kids'?
-[laughing]

-Bye!
-Bye, be safe.

-Good luck in your game.
-Have fun.

Let's see...

What's wild?

-Sevens are wild.
-Okay.

[Jazz] I do have a lot
going on in my mind

and about my future
at Harvard.

I definitely feel like I have
to tell my parents about it.

I'm just hoping that

it doesn't damper
the mood in any way.

Would you say,
"Kings, queens
and in-betweens"?

-Yes.
-That's a cute phrase.

[Jazz] I really
am just nervous

that my parents
are gonna be
broken-hearted

by me even considering
this as an option.

[inhaling deeply, sighing]

I am just really
stressed out right now.

-What's the score so far?
-[Jeanette] Don't even!

Dad's in the lead with 9,
then me with 11

then Mom with 53.

[exhaling dramatically]

[Jazz] All right, um...

[Greg] Throwing down the king!

[Jazz] There's something
I wanted to talk
to both of you about.

Um...

I'm a little scared,

I don't wanna disappoint
either of you,

but I have thought
about it and...

I don't know,
there's a possibility that...

I might not go back to school
after this semester

or I may take a gap year

to figure things out.

-[Jeanette] What?
-[Greg] Wait, what?

[Jeanette] What do you mean?

[Jazz] We have been
through this before.

[Jeanette] And I can't believe
this is happening again.

But I know that Harvard
is the best place for her

at this point in time
in her life.

She'd be making a huge mistake

if she doesn't continue
her education.

[Jazz] This fall semester
I'm doing it, 100%.

However, before
spring semester,

if I wanna take
more time off, I can.

Now I'm stressed out because
you don't have a plan B.

A is Harvard, B is...

Well, I think there are
so many options

and so many paths for me.

And I could see myself
being successful
without Harvard.

Um, and...

Obviously, I already
kind of have a career

as an LGBTQIA+ activist,

and I can continue
leading on that

and helping people

and still, you know,
having a job doing that.

-So...
-You're not there yet.

But aren't you
going to school to...

I mean, you're
taking classes...

[Jazz] Not for myself, yeah.

...to get some knowledge
and to get skills.

-Absolutely.
-And to hone skills

that you may have
already, refine them.

Most of these professors
are world-renowned professors.

[Jazz] I know.

[Greg] We're listening.

If she's having reservations,

we definitely wanna
hear her out.

But very few people
are given that opportunity

to go to Harvard,

so she should see it out.

[Jazz] If things
don't work out,

I just wanted
to let you both know

that it was on my mind
that, you know,

I may not finish
my education there.

I know this is really hard,

but I want you to think
deeply about this, okay?

Okay...

I could tell my parents
are pissed off.

Even though they know
it's my life

and that I'm the one
who has to make decisions

about what path they take,

I know they really want
to see me graduate

and get that degree.

But not every path
requires a degree

and an education.

I don't know what to do.

Jazz, you excited to leave?

Yeah. [whooping weakly]

The day has come and Jazz
is going back to Harvard.

Now that we're here,
in Cambridge,

How do you feel about
your long-term view of school?

[Jazz] I've been gifted
this incredible opportunity
to go to Harvard.

But at the same time,

I know that it's not the only
life path I could take.

I've a reservation for two
under the name Jazz.

Tonight is a special night.

Because I am going
on a date with Erin.

And I'm gonna be meeting her
for the first time and...

I feel all the jitters.

I haven't kissed someone
in so long, it's been, like,
years for me.

So, I get a message

from the Harvard
administration

saying that someone
wanted to k*ll me.

You can get used
to being hated on.

Like, that's fine,
I have a thick skin.

I don't care
what people think.

But when someone
threatens to k*ll you

and they know where you live

and what school you attend,

that's a whole
different thing.

And it's terrifying.

Someone wants to k*ll me.

Just for being transgender.

-Look at me.
-Okay.

This is serious.

You live in a world
with a lot of hate.

And you're increasing
your chances

of that hate
coming towards you.

I see them out
with the trans flags

in this world where
transgender people

aren't accepted
like they should be.

And I'm absolutely terrified.

I just need to get over there.

[woman] Everybody, come on!