12x20 - Bad Day for Barbara

[bunniefuu]

I just feel so dull and blah, and I have
the worst headache in history.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

Why don't you just stay in bed this morning?

You don't have to get up.

Oh, yes, I do.

Why?

There isn't anything that Charlie and Katie can't handle.

I just feel so guilty.

Ah, but there isn't that much to do.

Just make a little breakfast and get the
kids off to school.

They can certainly handle that.

Oh, I suppose you're right.

Sure, I'm right.

Now, you just stay there and get a good rest.

Maybe I will.

Lost a button off this gray suit yesterday.

I've got the button.

Do you want to wear it today?

Well, no, I'll wear something else.

Oh, I'll sew it on.

Oh, no, no, I'll wear something else.

Oh, good.

I'll wear my brown suit.

You can't.

It's at the cleaner's.

What?

It's at the cleaner's.

Oh.

Well, I guess I can wear a sport coat,
but, uh, well, these important fellas are

flying in from Washington, and we're going
out to lunch, and...

Where's the button?

Oh.

You're sure you feel up to it?

Mm-hmm.

It's just that I made a coat.

Yeah, that's...

And my sewing box is over there, so... And
after you sew it on, you flake right out, huh?

Come on, Teddy, why don't you stay in bed all day?

Just really take it easy.

Yeah.

Here, I'll let you see.

Mom!

I'm sorry.

We gonna eat?

Well, honey, uh, Mommy isn't feeling so
chipper this morning, so she's going to

stay in bed, so, uh, why don't you run on
downstairs, and, uh, Katie will fix your breakfast, too.

Okay.

I've just been downstairs.

Katie's gone.

Where'd she go?

It's today, Thursday.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, it's Katie's day at the Red Cross.

Oh.

Well, then Uncle Charley will fix your breakfast, honey.

Uncle Charley says he's beached high and dry.

Oh, what's the matter with him?

That rutabaga in his leg is wrecking his knee.

Uh, rheumatism.

Well.

There you go.

Oh, you got it all done.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Here, I'll take it.

I'll be right back.

I thought you were going to, uh, stay in bed.

Well, how can I?

Well, will you promise me that as soon as
you can, you'll get back in bed?

By Arnie's honor.

Is that all you're having?

I'm not hungry.

You know, skipping breakfast is bad business.

You're just asking for a headache.

I'll have something later.

That's the trouble with most sick people.

They don't eat right.

Yeah, well, that may be part of it.

Yeah, well, that and the way they think.

You know, that's where they get sick.

Right in the head.

Nothing really wrong with them.

It's all in the head.

In the head.

Right.

Well, you know the old saying.

In rheumatism, the pain comes mainly with the rain.

I guess.

Well, I can stand the pain all right,
but I hate being dry docked.

Can't you move around at all?

Oh, some, but not on that leg.

It's locked right in place.

Oh.

Maybe you should lie down.

Yeah, but I'm not just thinking about myself.

I got to be fair with you.

Now, I figured that the least that I could
do is talk to you while you do the dishes.

Yeah, I know who's buried in Grant's tomb,
but I ain't got to tell you.

The last thing that I need right now is
ten free dance lessons.

You know, I always dust mop on Thursdays.

I'll dust mop.

Then how come you're sweeping?

To get the dirt and clean.

Crumbs first.

Okay, you can sweep first if you want to,
but I always just dust mop.

I'll sweep first.

Oh, no!

What happened to you guys?

You stay right there.

Don't you move an inch!

You were on the mud puddle, didn't you?

Oh, didn't I tell you to stay out of the mud?

Oh, I guess you forgot, didn't you?

Oh, what a mess you are.

Look at you!

Oh, look it!

Hi.

Hi.

What are you doing home?

The teachers are on strike.

What?

Yeah.

They're holding out for better something or other.

All of them?

Yeah.

Is Dodie home yet?

No.

She will be.

Hey, Mommy, I'm home.

So I see.

Hey, Dodie, are the teachers picking against your school?

No.

All they're doing is walking up and down in the front.

I'm going to go put my books away.

Yeah, I'm going to go upstairs, too.

See you later.

Oh, my social studies project.

You going to work on it in a year?

Well, this is the only place I'm going to work on it.

Oh, man, how can you stand Uncle Charley
sawing away in that thing?

Uncle.

Charley says his leg is still locked,
and you'll have to go to the market.

What in the world did you do to your dress?

I was cutting out my doll dress,
and the scissors didn't go right.

Well, where's the market list?

Uncle Charley said you'll have to make it,
because he can't make it.

I'll look in the cupboards.

Come on.

In.

Hi, Barbara.

I just have to talk to somebody.

Do you have a minute?

Oh, sure.

Here, grab a chair.

Oh, Chip and I...

You had a fight.

Yeah, how did you know?

I could just tell.

Barbara, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Chip doesn't seem to have time for me anymore.

I know he's going to school and he has to work and he

has to study and all that,
but it's like I'm not even there.

Oh, honey, Chip loves you.

It's just that he's tired, and believe me, I...

I don't know how he feels at times.

If he really loved me, I think he'd notice me a little.

Come on, now.

You be patient with him, and don't let him worry about you.

And try not to spend the time together fighting.

It's not worth it.

Believe me, darling, it'll all work out.

Yeah, I guess I'd better go home.

Thanks, darling.

Okay.

Hey, Mom!

We've got to get tr*mp to the bed right away, Mom.

What happened?

He was chasing a cat, and it turned on him.

He didn't get scratched?

Right through the skin.

And for all we know, the cat could have rabies.

He'll have to have a shot.

Okay, will you go ahead and take him?

I can't take him.

Why?

Oh, my license is still suspended for tailgating last week.

And Uncle Charley has... I know.

A locked leg.

Okay.

Hand me my purse.

Let's go, tr*mp.

Mommy,

my doll dress I made.

I wouldn't.

Why not?

Well, I think Mom's about to come to a boy.

I mean, for some reason, she's starting to
slam things around.

I don't think I'll show her my doll dress right now.

I'll tell you, Steve ain't gonna eat it
unless you put in enough salt.

Oh, hi, Charlie.

Oh, hi.

Hi, honey.

Boy, you wouldn't believe the day I've had.

Bad, huh?

The worst.

In the first place, my secretary didn't show up.

I had to answer my phone myself.

It rang all day long.

Then I had to look up stuff in the filing cabinet.

All by yourself?

What?

Oh, nothing.

I had a rough day, too, with this stupid knee.

Oh, that's too bad, Charlie.

Tell me.

Charlie, wouldn't you think a company like
McMillan & Sims would be filed under M?

Sure.

What else?

You know where I found it?

It was filed under T.

McMillan & Sims?

T is for tubing.

They sell tubing.

Somebody must have spilled the salt.

Well, you can see for yourself I'm not doing the cooking.

You know, honey, there were times today
when I really envied you.

Lying up there in bed, taking it.

Easy.

The roast is in the oven.

The rest of the dinner is on the stove.

I promised Dodie and the boys some ice
cream for dessert, and I'll see you later.

Uh, where are you going?

Barbara?

Barbara, where are you going?

Charley, where is she going?

How do I know?

Did, uh, did something happen around here today?

Nothing.

Something must have happened.

I think she's starting her car.

Barbara!

Barbara, wait a minute.

Charley, I'm asking you again.

Did anything happen around here today?

I'm telling you nothing.

We just sat around and did nothing.

Hi, Dad.

It looks dinner.

We don't know.

Where's Mom?

She just left.

Where'd she go?

That's what I was hoping you could tell me.

I didn't even know.

She's gone.

Ernie, did anything happen around here today to upset her?

Well, Katie called to say that she
wouldn't be home to dinner.

Well, that wouldn't do it.

But something must have happened.

Not around here.

I told you.

I'm hungry.

And so is Katie, Robbie, and Charlie.

We'll eat pretty soon, honey.

Where's Mama?

She went out.

Dodie, did Mama say anything to you about
going out tonight?

No.

What did you do today?

I made a doll dress and played and had fun.

Now I'm hungry.

Are we going to wait dinner for Mom?

Something tells me that's going to be some wait.

We'll eat now.

Would you put that in the living room or anything?

I'll go get Steve, Robbie, and Charlie.

We're going to eat, and then we're going to
have a nice long talk about who did what to my wife.

I'm telling you, nobody did anything.

Nobody did anything to her, Steve.

Ask the kids.

Well, all I'm saying, Charlie, is that Barbara's no baby.

Now, you say she was lying in bed all day?

She was there when I made my doll dress.

Well, in all fairness, she got up a couple of times.

She took tr*mp out and did some marketing.

She does that kind of junk every day, Steve.

Don't try to make us out a bunch of ogres.

Maybe he said something rotten to her daddy.

No, I don't think so, Dodie.

Well, Dodie, you and Ernie better go up
and hit the sack, huh?

I'll go upstairs and get out of your hair.

But you gotta admit, a senior in high
school hitting the sack at 7.30 is weird.

Well, go upstairs.

Good night.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna call some of her friends.

Oh, boy.

Those bunch of cackling hens will have a
field day if they think you can't find your own wife.

What?

Well, I'll be careful what I say.

Peggy?

This is Steve Douglas.

Say, is Barbara there?

Oh.

Well, no, no, nothing wrong.

It's just that when she said she was going to a
meeting somewhere and I forgot where it was.

Yeah.

Yes, I'll tell her, Peggy.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Oh, no, no.

No, of course.

Of course, I'm not worried about her, Jenny.

I just thought she might have dropped by there and...

Yeah, yeah, I'll tell her, Jenny.

Goodbye, thanks.

Well, it isn't that I don't know where she is, Marilyn.

It's just that she didn't leave a phone number.

Barbara said she'd be home, so she doesn't
realize we were worried about her.

Wait, you're not worrying now?

Oh.

She said she'd be home, so she'll be home.

And there she is now.

Oh, it's Chip and Polly.

Who did you think it was?

We came by for a minute to see Barbara.

Well, Polly, Barbara isn't here.

Well, when do you expect her?

Well, no exact time.

Won't you come in?

You want to wait, honey?

It's awfully late.

I guess we'd better not.

Tell her we came by, though.

Is that all?

Yeah, she'll know why.

Bye, Dad.

Goodbye, Polly.

See you.

Gotcha.

I ain't too surprised.

You told me it was 5 minutes 11, 5 minutes ago.

If we just knew where she went.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Kate.

What are you two doing just sitting here?

Waiting for Barbara.

Well, there's nothing to get upset about, I guess, Kate.

It's just, uh, well, she went out by herself,
and, uh... Well, when will she be back?

We don't know.

Well, why did she go by herself?

We don't know that, either.

No matter what you ask us, we don't know.

Why don't I make you some coffee?

No, thanks, Kate, but it's, uh, it's late.

Why don't you go up to bed?

Dad, it's no later for me than it is for
you and Uncle Charley.

Well, Charley ought to go to bed, too.

What's the use of going to bed if you can't sleep?

Go on and make us some coffee, will you, please, Katie?

Okay.

Barbara!

Where have you been?

Barbara?

Honey, are you all right?

Well, of course I'm all right.

Why is everybody up?

We ain't waiting for a bus.

Charley, your leg is unlocked.

Oh, the leg?

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

How about that, yeah.

Are you sure you're all right?

I'm fine.

Don't tell me you're worried about me.

I told you I'd be back.

Well...

I'm sorry.

I went to a movie.

A movie?

A double feature.

They did everything they could think of to destroy it.

I mean, they tried to set it on fire,
and they dropped bombs on it out of

airplanes, and they spread poison all over
its food and bombarded it with

high-intensity sound waves, and even with all
those things, it still had a better day than I did.

Did you have a bad day?

Well, it's all right now.

Well, you should have told me.

Or cried or screamed or something.

Well, I guess I should have, but I don't know.

When these things happen, all I can think of is escape.

Well, it's late, so I guess we might as
well go to bed, huh?

Good night, Charlie.

Good night.

Hey, wait a minute.

What happened to this incredible comedian
creature after they did all that stuff to him?

Oh, he kept changing himself into a
different kind of monster.

Yeah, well, wait a minute.

How'd they finally get him?

They didn't.

He fell in love with a rosebush and
changed himself into an aphus.

Oh, boy.

Hey, if that's on tomorrow night, I'm gonna see it.

Sleepy?

Frank, yes.

You sure you're all right now?

I'm fine.

Good night.

You sure it isn't anything I said or did?

I'm positive.

It was just a pileup of little things.

I must have done something.

No, nobody did anything.

Honey, it's just the way I am.

It has happened before.

Well, I suppose it'll happen again.

I suppose.

I'd say we could expect another one about...



Good night, love.

Good night, love.