12x16 - Buttons and Beaux

[bunniefuu]

I'm.

Coming, I'm coming.

Peanuts?

What are you doing with a gunny sack full of peanuts?

They aren't mine.

They're Dodie's and her pal.

What?

Well, she rolled me into going to Farmer's
Market and picking them up for her.

Well, how'd they get them, and what are
they going to do with them?

Well, they all chipped in their allowances.

It's for the Korean orphans.

Well, orphans have got to have something
to eat besides peanuts.

Uncle Charley, they're going to sack the
peanuts, sell them at the school fair,

and the money goes to the orphans.

Uncle Charley, have you seen... Oh, there you are, Ernie.

Rita Purcelli's been trying to call you on the phone.

Rita Purcelli?

Yeah, she goes twice.

Well, she's the queen bee of the whole school.

And she goes out with guys like the star of the
football team and the captain of the baseball team.

Oh, she doesn't mess around with guys like me.

Well, we may be wrong, but Katie and I
both got the same message.

Charley, where's Dodie?

Out getting some paper sacks.

You don't think I'd go in for his rope climbing.

Then I came in for it.

Hey, Romeo, before you leave, how about a
little peanut lifting?

Put that sack back on the back porch, will you?

The girls can work out there.

No, they can't.

What do you mean, they can't?

Those peanuts are raw.

They have to be roasted.

Hey,

the whole world just walked over my wax.

Is this Rita?

Yes, this is Rita.

Did, did you call me?

You know, Ernie, you and I don't know each other very well.

In fact, we've hardly ever spoken to each other.

Only once.

That was when I spilled my chocolate Malta
on you in the lunch line.

Well, you are forgiven for that.

But I do see you in class every day.

And you know something, Ernie?

I've been admiring you from afar.

You have?

No kidding?

Really?

Oh, really?

Really?

The.

Peanuts.

Speak up a little bit.

Thanks, Ernie.

Thanks, Ernie.

Just a second, Rita.

Hey, you guys, can't you see I'm on the phone?

We just wanted to thank you.

Okay, you're welcome.

Man, what a grouch.

You tell me.

Oh, sorry, Rita.

What?

Get together?

Tonight?

Sure, why not?

Oh, hi.

Hi, darling.

Hey, it smells like the lobby of the beach.

There's a bijou in here.

Come with me.

I said no.

Man, Uncle Charley.

Oh, am I glad to see you.

Hi, Daddy.

Margaret and Priscilla are here.

Hi, girls.

Look at the peanuts.

No wonder it smells like the bijou.

Yeah, well, take a look over here.

You mean that whole bag's full of peanuts?

Why so many?

It's for a good cause, honey.

The girls are trying to raise money for the Korean orphans.

Oh, it's a good cause.

There's no arguing about that.

Yeah, but wait till you hear the latest.

This is the latest flash I just got.

What's that, Charley?

These peanuts, the whole works, they
have to be roasted and sacked by tonight.

Do you mean to tell me you have to put all
those peanuts in those sacks tonight?

Oh, yes, sir.

It's for the orphans.

Mm-hmm.

They want to sell them at the school fair tomorrow.

Girls, I'd say you have quite a job ahead of you.

We know.

That's why Margaret and Priscilla's
mothers are letting them stay over.

Oh?

We just called.

Is that okay?

Well, uh, as long as it's for the orphans.

Yes, that's right.

I'm supposed to call my mother back and tell her it's okay.

Me too.

Look, when you're having guests,
the least you can do is warn the cook.

And Dodie, don't ask if your friends can
stay in front of them.

Makes it hard for Mama to say no.

I wouldn't.

Only it's for the orphans.

Oh, hi, Ernie.

Hi, Dad.

Was that the right number?

Boy, was it a right number.

Well, it sounds like a new girl.

Oh, man, Dad, she's the coolest.

Well, I told you that rope climbing would pay off.

Here, let me take you.

Oh, thanks, Dad.

Well, have you got a date?

Oh, sort of.

She's coming over here after dinner.

Whose idea was that?

Hers.

She wants me to help her with her homework.

Oh.

Well, it's a start, huh?

Hey, speaking of dinner, why don't the bunch of you
clear out of here so I can get the show on the road?

Well, Charlie, with all these peanuts, peanuts and
everything, maybe we ought to send out for dinner.

I got a pot roast all set to put in the oven.

Well, now, but this seems pretty important.

I mean, Ernie, why don't you go down to
Chin h*'s and get us some Chinese food, huh?

I get a ration on your Chinese food.

Me too.

Well, you better stop by Tony's and get a pizza, huh?

Yeah.

Hello, Ernie.

Hi.

Oh, well, won't you come in?

Thank you.

Oh, you can meet my folks if you want to.

Oh, I'd like that.

Dad, Mom, Katie, this is Rita Purcelli.

Hello, Rita.

Hello.

Hi.

What about us?

Oh, yeah, that's Dodie and a couple of her friends.

Margaret and Priscilla.

Where's the convenience for the orphans?

Well, now you see, something new has been added.

And this is Uncle Charlie.

Hi.

Hi.

Well, I'm the cook around here, and I don't want
you to get the idea that this is one of our regular meals.

We had sort of an emergency, so we sent
out for Chinese food.

And pizza.

And pizza.

Have you had your dinner, Rita?

Oh, yes, I've eaten, but Ernie,
why don't you finish your own dinner?

Oh, that's okay.

I'm all through.

Well, why don't we get going on your homework?

Well, I left my books in the car, Ernie.

Could you come out and help me?

Oh, sure.

It was nice meeting you.

Oh, nice meeting you.

Nice meeting you, too.

I had a sweetheart in Copenhagen once that looked like her.

Uh, if you little girls are finished, why don't you
take your paper plates out in the kitchen, okay?

Okay, Mama.

Come on, you guys.

They want to talk about Ernie's girlfriend.

Do you?

Do I what?

Want to talk about Ernie's girlfriend.

Well, uh, no.

I mean, she's, she's, uh, a very, uh, a very pretty girl.

Yeah, well, he's not doing bad for a rope climber.

Well, I just don't want Ernie to get hurt.

Oh, here we go, Steve.

How can he get hurt?

Well, it's, uh, very obvious that she's
using him to get her homework done.

You do see through that.

Well, uh...

If she is using Ernie, he'll find it out soon enough.

He's a bright boy.

Well, bright don't do much good when you
got Lillian Tashman working on you.

Who's Lillian Tashman?

Oh, Katie, you're so young, it's disgusting.

Uh, Margaret, uh, don't you think maybe if
you put the ball down and, uh,

put the peel-it-out-by-hand and put it on
the sack end, you'd better do it?

No.

Well, it's, uh, like we're doing.

You know, like that.

Well, it's still as good.

And.

Here the length of the altitude,
C-D, to the hypotenuse is the mean

proportional between the lengths of the two
segments, A-D and D-B, formed on the hypotenuse.

You're very brilliant, Ernie.

Yeah.

I mean it.

The exam we had the other day, you
had the highest grade in the whole class.

I like brains in a man.

What man?

What's going here?

Getting something for Daddy.

Is.

This a stapler?

Yeah.

Get lost, Doe.

Now, in this one, we interpret the
Pythagorean theorem in terms of area.

For every right triangle, the
square on the hypotenuse... Ernie.

Ernie, you don't have to explain all that.

Just work it out and put down the answer.

Yeah.

Sure.

I'll get the beds ready.

I think the other girls have just about had it, too.

Come on, Doe.

Go out, sweetheart.

Margaret, Priscilla, I think maybe you'd
better come up to bed, too.

Mr. Douglas, we can't.

We have to get all these peanuts done.

Well, I realize that, but... We'll be okay.

Well, a little while longer.

I'm.

Going down to the Purple Pup to get a burger.

Oh, good.

You finished your homework, huh?

Thanks to Ernie.

He's practically a genius, Mr. Douglas.

Dad, can I hit you for a couple of bucks?

I know about my allowance, but when we got to the market
today, those kooky girls were $5 short for the peanuts.

I had to kick in.

Sure.

Here, honey, give me some money, will you?

Oh, here.

Let me take the key.

Come on, Punkin.

Good night, Rita.

Good night, Mr. Douglas.

Sorry, darling.

Thanks, Dad.

Good night, Mr. Douglas.

Good night, Rita.

Yeah, that don't look too bad.

You'll live all right.

Don't worry about that.

Look, that's not big enough.

I stapled my finger.

You stapled your finger?

Oh, well, that doesn't look bad, does it?

It hurts.

Oh, I'm sure it hurts, honey, but... I want my mother.

Well, I think we can just put... I want my mother.

Come on, we'll... We'll call her.

We'll call her.

Man, I'm the only one left.

Yeah, when something tells me that ain't gonna last long.

Mrs. Hobson, this is Mr. Douglas, Dodie's father.

Well, Mrs. Hobson, Priscilla hurt her finger.

It's really nothing serious,
but... Oh, how did she hurt it?

Well, with a stapler.

A stapler?

What was she doing with a stapler?

Well, she was... She was stapling peanuts.

How can one staple peanuts, Mr. Douglas?

Well, she wasn't stapling the peanuts exactly.

She was stapling the sacks.

You know, for those peanuts the girls are
going to sell at school tomorrow?

Mr. Douglas, I think maybe it would be
better if Priscilla came on home.

Mr. Hobson, I'll be right over to pick her up.

Well, all right, Mrs. Hobson, fine.

I'd bring her over myself, but, well, we
have all these peanuts to put in sacks, and.

...

Oh, I understand.

We'll see you very soon.

All right.

All right, fine.

Well, Priscilla, your parents will be able
to get you, please.

Hi, Dad.

Oh, hi, Aaron.

Well, that was a quick hamburger.

Anything wrong?

No, no, it's okay.

I'm going over to Rita's house.

I staple my finger.

Your finger?

Yeah, it was nothing, Ernie.

You're going to Rita's house, huh?

Yeah.

Rita wants me to help her go through a lot of
research for a paper on the decline and fall of Rome.

The decline and fall of Rome at this time of the night?

Well, she suddenly remembered, in the middle
of a hamburger, that she has this paper to turn in.

Well, I've got to go.

I'll see you later.

Yeah, I'll see you later.

Uh, where is he going?

He's going over to Rita's house.

She suddenly remembered, in the middle of
her hamburger, that she had this paper to

turn in on the decline and fall of the Roman Empire.

Well, she has Saturday and Sunday.

Yeah, but she's not sure that she'll have
Ernie on Saturday and Sunday.

Well, uh, we have another peanut casualty.

Priscilla's folks are coming over to pick her up.

They're going to pick her up?

I stapled my finger.

You stapled a finger?

Well, just a little scratch.

Oh.

Come on, sweetheart.

I'll take your stick.

And we'll put something on it, okay?

Yes, the peanuts seem to be holding up
better than the help.

Oh,

to be 70 years old again.

Well, here's the last one.

Oh, come on, punkin'.

I'll take your stick.

How is Priscilla?

Jesus.

A sleeper.

A sleeper.

Mr. Douglas?

Yes.

We're the Hobsons.

I'm Bonnie and this is Jim.

Oh, yes.

Hi, Jim.

Nice to meet you.

It smells like a midway at a circus.

Yeah, it does, Lola.

Tell me, how's Priscilla?

Well, now, don't worry about it, Mrs. Hobson.

She's upstairs fast asleep.

As a matter of fact, all three of the little girls are.

Isn't that always the deal?

The kids start it and the parents wind up doing the work?

Yeah.

Well, let's go.

Where's the assembly line?

Oh, now you don't have to get...
Why should you have all the fun?

Why don't you let us help?

Well... Okay, we're out in the kitchen.

Just follow your noses.

You know, for some reason or other, I don't think I
ever want to see another peanut again as long as I live.

I must say, it's certainly a good way to find out who
your friends are sacking peanuts this hour of the morning.

I still can't understand why we missed the fulfillment.

Well, Dodie was just as vague.

Are you sure this is the last load, Charlie?

This is it.

The last of the Mexicans.

I can't believe it.

Where do we take these things in the morning?

School fair, whatever that means.

You know, Charlie, I could sure use
another cup of that coffee.

I'm way ahead of you.

Hey, Katie, you look all in.

Go to bed.

Charlie's right, Kate.

You go to bed.

We'll finish up here.

I think I will.

The boys will be getting up just about the
time I go to sleep.

Good night, everybody.

Good night, sweetie.

Doesn't anybody know where we take these
things in the morning?

Did Priscilla say anything, Bonnie?

All I know is that it had to do with Korean orphans.

Well, we'll just have to call Dodie's
teacher first thing in the morning to find out.

I can't believe we're almost finished.

Finished is the word.

I'm pooped.

I think we all are.

Charlie, why don't you go to bed?

We'll finish up here.

Good idea.

And Jim and Bonnie, why don't you go home
and go to bed, too?

You must be tired.

Sure, you don't want to study?

No, no, no, we'll finish up.

There's not too much to do.

Well, I can still get 15 minutes sleep
before I have to get up.

Good night.

I think it's good morning.

Yeah, good morning.

And don't worry about Priscilla.

She's knocking it off up there.

Bye-bye.

Just get at it.

Barbara?

Are.

You all right?

It's pretty late.

Yeah, yeah, I guess.

You don't look very good.

Yeah, well, I was doing all this research
for her and she sort of went out.

She sort of went out?

Is that some new expression we haven't heard yet?

No.

She just figured I couldn't talk or dance.

I couldn't dance or anything while I was researching.

So this football player type called up
and, um, anyway, she went out with him.

Oh, see, Steve?

Well, I hope you gave her all the wrong names and dates.

Well, you wouldn't do that, would you?

Oh, it's okay.

Had a hunch all along I wasn't scoring on
my good looks or my rope climbing.

There's nothing wrong with your looks or
your rope climbing.

Oh, if I could just get my
hands on that girl, I... Barbara.

Ernie, as you go through life, there are
some things you'll have to... It's okay, Dan.

For a while there, I was really living.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Good night, honey.

Oh, maybe you're right, but, uh,
well, we're fresh out of horse flips,

and anyway, you're too tired
to do it now, and I'm too tired to

tell Ernie it was too late getting
you and Celeste to the beach.

Hello, uh, Miss Lawrence?

Uh, this is Steve Douglas, uh, Dodie Douglas.

Douglas's father?

Yeah, well, I-I'm sorry to call you so
early, but, uh, well, we have all these

peanuts for the fair, and we didn't know quite where to...

Well, the fair at the school.

Will you know the one for the orphans?

Oh?

Well.

Well, thanks very much, Miss Lawrence.

I-I'm sorry if I got you out of bed or anything.

Yes, well, thanks very much.

Oh,

one for you, and one for me.

Dodie, uh, excuse me.

Margaret, she'll, uh, talk to you later, huh?

Okay.

What did you do wrong?

You tell me, sweetheart.

I didn't plan again, huh?

Well, you planned, but what you planned isn't, uh...

I mean, you're beginning to think of
yourself now instead of someone else.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

I just figured something out, Daddy.

What's that?

Sometimes my mouth is dumber than my head.

What is that we're saying, Charley?

There must be some charitable institution
that would like all those peanuts?

Yeah, like a home for monkeys.

Hey, maybe we could sell them, huh?