12x09 - The Enthusiast

[bunniefuu]

THE END.

Well, send him in.

He's the boss.

Hi, Bob.

Hi, Steve.

I want to talk to you about something.

How are you with bowling?

Bowling?

I don't know why, Bob, but I've never bowled in my life.

I used to set up pins when I was a kid.

Oh, then you know what a gutter is.

Oh, yeah.

And you can lift a bowling ball, I think.

I think so.

Oh, if you're talking about the executive bowling
team, Bob, I literally have never bowled in my life.

Let's start with a premise.

I think the executive bowling team,
the whole idea of it, is stupid.

You do?

I do.

But I'm stuck with it.

Because my predecessor once bowled a 260 game and decided
that intraplant bowling would improve labor management.

Labor loves it.

They've beaten us six years running.

Why shouldn't they love it?

Bob, where do I fit in?

I mean, I really have never bowled.

I mean, I can't even keep score.

Neither can I.

Labor keeps score.

Maybe that's why they keep winning.

How about it, Steve?

Now look, Garrison's sick, Tedasco's in Seattle,
and Gretlin twisted his ankle on the sprinkler head.

That leaves you.

But Bob, I... Steve, you don't have to be any good.

They win anyway.

Okay, Bob.

I, uh... I guess I'd better do a little practicing, huh?

You can practice tomorrow morning.

Okay, Steve.

See you at the party tonight.

Uh, wait a minute, Bob.

Uh, tomorrow morning?

When is this tournament or whatever it is?

Tomorrow afternoon.

See you at the party, Steve.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm a bowler.

So much for you, Margaret.

Ooh, you're such a rotten creep.

And next time I see your shadow, I'll jump all over it.

You tell her the next time that she tries
that stunt, you're going to clobber her.

I'm going to clobber you next time, Margaret Spencer.

Ooh, you're such a rotten girl.

I just might get sick from it.

Polly.

It's okay, Mama.

It's just creepy, Margaret.

And when I jump on your shadow, your legs will fall off.

Dodie, you hang up that phone right this minute.

I think it's time for us to have a little talk.

You sit right down there.

Yeah, well, don't punish the kid until you
find out what happened.

There is no excuse in the world for
unladylike conduct, Charley.

Now, what have we always said about being a lady?

You don't have to wear white gloves to be a lady.

And?

And ladies always control themselves.

Themselves.

Now, do you think that you used control
with Margaret just now?

No.

Margaret copied a whole test from Dodie and got an A.

Yeah, Mom, and I got a D.

And the teacher said the tests were so identical
that somebody had a copy from somebody.

And Margaret goes, Dodie copied from me.

Yeah, and Dodie got clobbered.

Honey, there are other ways of expressing your feelings
without yelling and acting like some kind of a wild creature.

All set.

Oh, say, Charley, tomorrow morning, will
you show me how to hold a bowling ball?

How come?

Because I'm in a bowling tournament.

You?

Me.

Come on.

Honey, I think it would be a good idea if you called Margaret
back and told her you were sorry that she yelled at her.

Oh, yuck, Mama.

Well, you think about it.

I mean, when I was a little girl, I had the same
quick reactions and competitive spirit that you have.

But I had to change.

We all do.

As your mother says, Dodie, think about it.

Good night.

Good night, Charley.

Robert and I were at a party at the Lemmings.

You know, the party they gave to the governor.

And they did something there that we'd like to try.

We men really should be out practicing our
bowling for the tournament tomorrow.

But Sylvia's right.

The Lemmings played a simple word game,
and I thought we'd try it.

It's a simple thing.

It's, you know, where one team writes down
a saying or a book title or something,

and the other team has to act it out.

Charade!

Sounds like a terrific idea.

Oh, well, the Lemmings called it associations.

But I'm sure it's the same thing.

Shall we try it?

I'll get a pencil and some paper.

A fish.

It isn't a fish.

Is it a fish?

Just nod your head.

Is it a mackerel?

Is it a big fish or is it a little fish?

How many syllables?

Okay.

You're swimming, you're swimming,
you're swimming in the ocean, in the ocean.

It's the Pacific, the Atlantic, the Suez Canal.

It's a pool, it's a river, it's a sea.

You're looking in the sea, you're looking in the ocean.

And you're in a... You're in the... Oh, I have it?

I have it.

I have it.

It's this.

It's this.

It's this.

See?

See?

See?

Okay.

See?

All right.

Let's see.

How many... Is that the first word or the
middle word or the last word?

Okay.

It's six words.

Six words.

And the first word is... What is the first word?

The.

The?

The.

The.

The.

Okay.

See?

And the second word is... A, B, C,
D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, I, M, N, O, P.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Okay.

Okay, second one starts with O.

Second one starts with O, and it's O,
and it's, uh, and it starts with O.

What is it you need, Sylvia?

Oh, she's got lumbago.

Is it lumbago, Sylvia?

No.

Are you being old?

Old.

Old.

Old.

She's being old.

Old?

Okay, old.

The old.

The old.

And so many, and the, and C.

Uh, the old man and the C!

Oh, no!

All right, Steve.

It's you.

Oh, well, Bob, you've done it before.

Why don't you, uh... Oh, come on, Steve.

We have to take it to everybody.

You'll never get this.

Let's see here.

Uh, the night word, right?

Uh, Barbara, what was the sign
for the... Oh, I remember, uh...

Hit the song.

That's right.

Honey, honey, you can't talk.

You can't talk.

I'm sorry.

Row, row, row your boat, get me down the stream.

Yeah, that's... Row, row, row
your boat, get me down the stream.

By the lyrics.

Uh, we're not going to be picky about this.

No, of course not.

That was, uh... Five seconds, Steve.

And so the pigeon and the hawk and the condor and
the eagle and the hummingbird lived happily ever after.

Katie.

Yes, honey?

Does everybody live happily ever after?

No, but they should try to.

Like Margaret?

Like Margaret.

How come do you think she did such a rotten thing to me?

Oh, maybe she was scared.

Maybe she thought she might flunk.

Maybe she had nightmares about flunking,
so she copied your paper.

And then when it looked like she might get
caught, she panicked.

Is Paddy King, like, getting real scared?

Yes.

I'll bet she's not sleeping very well right now.

She's quite aware of what she did to you.

But that's enough talk about the subject, okay?

Okay.

Poor Margaret.

Yeah.

Poor Margaret.

Good night, pumpkin.

Good night.

Katie?

Katie?

Yes, honey?

Am I being a lady, just like Mommy?

Just like your Mommy.

Girl?

Is that what you're doing, dear?

Oh.

Three?

Three something.

Second syllable.

Three syllables.

First.

Oh.

Oh.

Crazy, uh, weird, uh, defective.

Math?

Ah!

The second syllable.

She's pushing something.

Oh.

What's she doing with her finger?

Oh, what word are we on?

Uh, so far we only have math.

Uh, she hurt her ear.

Oh, there's something wrong with your ear.

Oh.

Oh.

Uh, which one did we give her?

I forget.

I must say, she's doing very well with whatever it is.

Must be an animal.

Is it animal beer?

A donkey?

A.

Fight.

A arm.

Ha!

Second syllable.

Oh.

Serve word.

Sillable.

Arman tears.

Madame was there from Arman tears.

My three.

Sons will continue as the Mark.

Honey, I just have to talk about it.

Not only made a fool of myself, I made a fool of you.

Nobody made a fool out of anybody.

Everybody.

I was a little surprised, that's all.

I bet you were.

I mean, well, I've never seen you as
anything but under control.

Yeah, well, it's a problem I always had,
but when I got older, I just could control it.

It's just that competition just starts the
adrenaline flowing.

You ought to see me at football games.

As a matter of fact, why haven't I?

Why have you never wanted to go to a football game with me?

Guess I always wanted to avoid having you
see me go ape in public.

Oh, Steve.

Did you see the look on their faces when I
did that mademoiselle walk?

Well, no, I didn't.

I, uh, I was watching you.

Just can't take your wife to parties, that's all.

I mean, she'll make a nut out of herself every time.

Honey, look at me.

Number one, nobody was offended.

They were a little surprised, as I was.

And number two, I, uh, I like you the way you are.

How can you?

Well, it's not too hard.

I, I, I'll prove it to you.

Next season, we'll, uh, we'll go to some
football games together.

I'll sit right next to you.

I may wear a crash helmet, but I'll sit next to you.

Steve.

Honey, we talked about this all the way home in the car.

And we talked about it downstairs,
and we talked about it now.

I think we're all talked out, wouldn't you say?

I just want you to know, I want you to know
that I'll never disgrace you like this again.

I mean, when I think of myself lying on that couch
like a rag doll, I just... Oh, how can it be so dumb?

I guess we're lucky, though.

How do you mean?

I mean, they might have given me something
like the naked ape to do.

This is Joe Landacre, captain of the team from assembly.

Hiya, Joe.

How are you?

You're on ball, huh?

You sure you aren't slipping in a ringer
on us, Mr. Anderson?

No, I borrowed the ball.

As a matter of fact, this is the
first time I've ever... I mean, I...

I am both, by the way.

Right.

It's only a game, as they say.

Now, over here is Angelo.

That's Frank.

Skinny one over here is Toomey.

Guys, this is Steve.

Good luck.

Oh, thanks, Joe.

Steve, is your wife here?

Well, she's coming.

She's coming down.

I don't know that she's here yet.

Oh, yeah, there she is.

Steve, I don't know quite how to say this,
but will she do a lot of yelling?

I can't guarantee anything, Bob.

This is her first bowling tournament, too.

Well, it's just that the boys got a little
nervous and they wondered.

Oh, forget it.

Forget I said anything.

We always lose anyway, so what difference does it make?

Did you want me to talk to her?

Is that what you had in mind?

Well, something like that, I guess.

But... Forget it, Steve.

Maybe that's been our problem.

Maybe we need a little enthusiasm around here.

Well, shall we get started?

Yeah.

Uh-oh.

Here we go again.

The slobs against the snobs.

Might as.

Well get your feet wet.

Sorry, fellas.

Steve, you have another one coming.

Oh, that's right.

That's Steve.

You're starting on the wrong...

Start on your right foot.

The right foot?

Well, Charley told me to...

The right foot, huh?

Steve, don't throw a hook.

Try throwing it straight.

I was trying to throw it straight.

Okay, then try throwing a hook.

The right foot.

The right foot.

Four steps, all right?

Four steps is okay.

Concentrate, Steve.

That and a dime's worth of donut centers
will get him exactly nothing.

Are we.

Awfully close to catching up with him?

I think so, dear.

I think Steve is beginning to remember
what Charley told him.

I mean, he almost had a strike a minute ago.

Oh.

Almost doesn't get the cigar, honey.

Come on, baby!

Right in the pocket!

Right down the pike, honey!

Here's where we get nine pins back.

He's got the delivery of the dork.

I figured.

Bye!

Bye!

Bye, Katie.

Well, how was the tournament?

Great.

Steve got a spare on the next to the last frame.

Well, who won?

They won, Katie.

But it's the closest the executives have
come to winning in six years.

We'll beat them next year.

That's right.

Well, does anybody mind if I take a nap?

I'm suddenly drained.

Honey, I don't think we ought to buy those
football tickets.

I don't think either one of us could stand it.

I think so.

Yeah, well, the same to you, Margaret Spencer.

Just wait until you get a shadow.

I'll jump all over it.

You're the creepiest girl I ever had for a best friend.

Darling, it's the problem I was telling you about.

So is he.

I don't like you anymore, Margaret.

And I hope your hair turns green.

Well, it's one subject I'm not very
qualified in handling, so she's all yours.

Thank you.

All right, Dodie, say goodbye and hang up, huh?

Goodbye.

I guess I hollered at Margaret.

I guess you did.

Why?

She was supposed to get all guilty and she didn't.

Well, Dodie, whether she's right or wrong,
we'll have no more hollering, okay?

Yeah, I know.

I have to be a lady.

That's right.

Like Mama?

Like Mama.

She's.

Back!

And so are all his friends, Richie,
Foxy, Ralph, even Arnold, and Al.

So find your couch and sit on it.

Happy Days, tonight at 6, here on Odyssey.

Happy Days, tonight at 6, here on Odyssey.

Happy Days, tonight at 6, here on Odyssey.