06x25 - Robbie's Double Date

[bunniefuu]

I'm.

Going to go out for the track team.

I've got to get in some practice before dark.

We went up there to find my track shoes,
not messing around with Dad's old pictures.

Boy, what a kooky outfit.

Just had to be for Halloween or something.

That's not a costume.

That's how girls dressed in the olden days.

You're kidding.

How could they run or play football?

They didn't.

I just sat around, wore big hats and long
dresses and hoop skirts and bustles.

What's a bustle?

Well, I better not tell you.

Questions like that, a dad should answer.

You still say she's dressed for a costume.

Dad,

me and Ernie were in the attic digging out my track shoes.

We came across this picture.

Ernie doesn't believe it's the way girls
dress in the olden days.

He thinks it's a costume.

The girls I know don't dress like that.

Well, Chip, it wasn't quite the olden days
when this was taken.

It's a picture of your Aunt Julie when she
was going to college.

It was around, uh, well, 1942.



Boy.

Yeah, way back then.

And they did still have cameras just like in modern times.

I know, but I thought pictures in those
days were on that tin stuff.

Oh, no.

They had cameras and films just like we do now, Ernie.

Even back in 42.

Was she wearing her outfit because it was a costume?

I don't know, it's a regular party dress.

It was considered to be very beautiful then.

Boy, times have certainly changed.

Today they wear blue jeans, black leather
jackets, and black boots.

It's kind of hard to tell the boys from
the girls, isn't it?

Except the boys are the ones with the long hair.

Well, come on, Chip.

We've got to get in some practice before dark.

He's put his track career in my hands, Dad.

Yeah, Ernie's my manager.

With my speed and his brain, who knows, maybe the Olympics.

Want me to put the picture back there?

Yeah, you might as well do it.

Wait a minute, Chip.

I'll take care of it.

Okay.

Chip?

Yeah?

On your Mark, get set.

What are you laughing at, wise guy?

Who's he?

Whoever he is, he's afraid to come any closer.

Yeah, he knows he'll get clobbered.

Oh, yeah?

Who's gonna clobber who?

It's a girl.

A female girl.

Who are you laughing at?

You and the kid with the cat g*n.

What are you doing on the school grounds anyway?

You don't live around here.

I do now.

We just moved in over on Mckinley Place.

You'll be going here to Bryant Park Junior High.

Well, I've already been admitted,
if it's all right with you.

Why should we care?

It's nothing to us.

Come on, Ernie.

I'm gonna stop you.

We're on the track team.

We've got to buckle down.

Let's go somewhere where we can practice in peace.

Here are the specs on the fuel injection system.

Oh, thanks, Captain.

That engineer you're supposed to interview
for the Flightstone project is here.

Oh, good.

Bentley.

I see you found out the M in M.

Bentley stands for Maxine.

Captain, I have worked with women engineers before.

Would you just send her in, please?

Come in, please.

Miss Bentley, this is Mr. Douglas.

How are you, Mr. Douglas?

I'm fine.

Excuse me.

Would you sit down?

Before we start, let me say I hope my
being a woman won't be held against me.

You certainly had good references from the
specifications department.

Good.

Thank you.

It's nice to know I'm dealing with a man
who isn't living in the hoop skirt era.

Oh, no, sir.

No hoop skirt in this office.

Good.

Do you mind if I smell it?

No, I was just going to light it myself.

Well,

they wore long dresses.

Big deal.

Who did?

When Dad was a teenager.

How could you ride a motorcycle in that?

Side saddle.

Oh, today they're more practical.

Boots, slacks, a shirt.

If a girl wants to move around, she can.

And if she wants to go to the beach, a bikini.

A bikini?

In my day, a fellow would have been
arrested for wearing a bikini.

You guys were ashamed of the human body.

Today, we're more realistic.

We weren't ashamed.

We just like to leave something to the imagination.

Robbie, you wouldn't believe how beautiful
a girl can look in your imagination.

And they look pretty good in a bikini.

One of those little girls you run around with.

Put her in high-button shoes.

A long velvet dress to her ankles,
a big picture hat, a nice girdle.

Can you see what she'd look like?

Would there be left to see?

Have you been, uh, working out in the shop?

Oh, you mean the outfit?

Yes, I like to get out there personally
and run spot checks.

I see.

Well, Miss Bentley, this office is, uh, well,
theoretical, I mean, uh, more white collar.

What I mean is, uh, it won't be necessary.

It won't be necessary for you to, uh,
wear, uh... Good, I get sick of dirty coveralls.

It'd be a pleasure to wear clean coveralls.

Well, now, uh, you don't have to do this,
uh, right now, Miss Bentley, but would you

fill out this form of education and job,
uh, history, uh, with a pretty routine,

uh... Fine.

And Miss Bentley, uh... Oh, Mr. Douglas, call me Max.

Max?

Sort of a joke in the department.

Oh.

Well, Max, if I decide you're right for this job,
will you be able to report first thing in the morning?

Check.

Bye, Mr. Douglas.

Uh, goodbye, Max.

They, uh, they call her Max.

It seems to be a kind of a joke around the department.

I'll bet it is.

Well, you can take off your tie now.

Yeah.

Now, I'd better leave it on.

There has to be some way to tell the boys from the girls.

I got over here from school as quick as I could.

You look in condition.

Do your isometrics?

Yeah, social studies.

The teacher bawled me out.

She thought I was making faces at her.

Look, Chip, I'm your manager, and I'll talk to her.

When you have problems, just let me know.

All right, fellas, we're going to run
trial heats for the 220.

Now raise your hand when I call your name.

Now let me do all the talking.

Save your wind.

Bassett.

Smith.

Douglas.

Conrad.

Potter.

Potter?

Who's he?

There's no guy here named Potter.

Did you call Potter?

That's right.

Is he your brother?

Nope, it's me.

Oh, well, I guess you came to the wrong place.

The girls' field is on the other side of this building.

I came to the right place.

I signed up to try out for the 220.

Hey, that's the girl from yesterday.

This is an outrage.

Track team is an all-boy activity.

Show me where it says you have to be a boy to run races.

Well, it isn't exactly written down.

Well, the track team represents the whole
school, doesn't it?

Yes.

And you want the best athletes, don't you?

Certainly.

Well, I came out show's best.

What do you fellas think about it?

Let her try, coach.

She'll learn why girls can't compete with boys.

All right, Potter.

Okay, line up.

On your Mark.

Get set.

Do.

I make the team?

Miss Potter, there are problems with just
one girl and all these fellas.

Oh, don't worry about that.

A girl in my science class can barge up
farther than any of these boys.

And Amy Fleming's almost as fast as I am.

And Betty Ferguson can put her shot a mile.

I'll tell them it's okay to come out tomorrow.

Well, you do all the talking.

What do you got to say now?

Girls on the track team?

What's this world coming to?

There ain't a rule against girls.

There ought to be.

You guys still at it?

It's a terrible experience, Mr. O'Casey.

Yeah, I know.

When I signed on to John T.

Evans out of Seattle, I found out the skipper was a woman.

Did the both sink?

No, but after one cruise, they realized it
wouldn't work out.

They gave her a short job.

What kind?

Oh, different things, like head dispatcher and then
vice president and then finally president of the line.

Served her right.

She never did get in the line.

I wish we could figure out something great
like that to get rid of Georgie Potters.

What we have to do is show those girls how
dumb it is for them to try to be boys.

That's a great idea, Ernie.

Boy, you're a brain.

How do we do it?

Field hockey is an all-girls sport, right?

Sure.

Guys don't play field hockey.

I'd like to play them real hockey sometime.

I'd cut them to ribbons.

Okay.

Now the way to show them how dumb it is for them
to go out for track is for you to go out for field hockey.

We can't do that.

We'd get laughed out of school.

They laughed at Einstein, but that didn't stop him.

Chip, we need a symbol.

One guy to teach them girls gotta play
with girls and boys gotta play with boys.

Chip, you're the best hockey player.

You'd cut them to ribbons.

Yeah, but girls hockey.

That's the whole idea.

Chip, the symbol would be a real important guy in school.

The whole boys track team would be out
there rooting for you and laughing at them.

I got a prediction.

The guy who saves the track team from those
dumb girls acting like boys will get elected captain.

Captain, huh?

I'll cut him to ribbons.

See, Uncle Charley, guys wore long hair in those days, too.

Yeah, but girls wore dresses.

And the fellas wore pants.

You could tell them apart easily.

And girls didn't go out for the track team.

All girls should wear hoop skirts.

Then they couldn't beat you in the 220.

Chip, are you really serious about going
out for the girls' hockey team?

I'm serious.

What do you think, Dad?

Well, have you checked out all the rooms?

Yes, sir.

Hello.

Oh, hello, Miss Max.

How are you?

Fine.

I understand you okayed me for Flightstone.

Well, the best man, uh, I mean, uh, you deserve it.

Yeah, well, just, uh, be in the first thing in the morning,
and don't be late, and, uh, bring your slide rule, huh?

Oh, I'll have that slide rule in my hip pocket.

Good night.

Good, uh, good night.

Well, how about it, Dad?

Well, I'm glad to watch it.

Fellow going out for girls' hockey.

Well, you go right ahead.

The way I feel, if I could make the
weight, I'd go with you.

Hip pocket.

Oh.

Let's come up and pick up your uniforms.

Hank, Belucci,

Goldwell, Curtis, Douglas.

Chip, that's you.

I know, I know.

Well, go on.

Douglas.

Who are you?

I'm Douglas.

Oh, you're picking this up for your sister?

No, no.

He's going out for the team.

I'm his manager.

Is this some sort of initiation?

No, ma'am.

We're serious.

Girls can go out for boys' track.

Boys can go out for girls' field hockey.

They never, uh, I mean, it is a girls' sport.

Is there a rule about it?

No.

We're within our rights.

We've checked the rules.

Well, girls, what do you think we ought to do about him?

Oh, let him in, yeah.

Let me try out, Miss Murphy.

He's pretty fast.

Poor boy.

All right, Douglas, you're welcome to come
out, provided you report in proper uniform.

Now, this ought to be about your size.

Here, take it.

Look at me.

Go ahead.

Are you sure it's my size?

Well, it can be.

You have your mother take it in wherever it's loose.

It doesn't fit, does it?

I can't wear it.

I'll just have to quit the hockey team.

Oh, then that's so bad.

I'll take a few tucks in here and there.

They're not supposed to be skin tight.

Whoops.

Excuse me, miss.

Could you please direct me to the ladies' powder room?

Hi, wise guy.

Yeah, lay off, Robbie.

You don't understand.

He's a symbol.

Takes your guts to see this fight all the way.

Mother, when will my dress be ready for the ball?

Come on, get out of here.

Come on, beat it.

Everybody's going to razz me about this, just like Robbie.

He's a brother.

What does he know?

All right, Chip, I'll fire up the sound machine.

When you get that off, bring it in to me.

Okay.

Ernie?

Maybe I shouldn't get mixed up in this girls' hockey thing.

Chip, you want to show those girls how dumb they've been.

The whole track team's counting on you.

Yeah, but it looks kind of silly.

Well, it won't look silly when you're out
there with the track team as captain.

You really think the guys will appreciate
what I'm doing that much?

Sure they will.

You heard what Rosen said.

He's going to have the whole track team out there tomorrow.

Well.

After tomorrow, old Georgie Potter and those
icky girls will be running back where they came from.

They belong in Bryant Park Junior High.

You'll be another Nathan Hale.

He got shot.

He's remembered.

I'd like to forget this outfit.

Chip, whose name will be in the history books?

Not the track coach, not Rosen or Bassett
or any of those guys.

Just one guy standing all alone with his manager.

Okay, I better get these things off so
Uncle Charley can sew them up.

Where's the midi blouse?

Chip's gone upstairs to change.

He'll be down with the outfit in a minute.

Oh, thank you.

Just between us, don't you think Chip looks a little funny?

Yeah, kind of funny.

Oh,

thanks, Catherine.

It's a pleasure.

Catherine, have you seen Miss Bentley?

Oh, you mean Max?

Uh, yeah.

Oh, here she comes.

Well, well.

Hello, Steve.

Hello, Max.

Well, I'm all ready.

Good.

A cup of coffee?

Oh, thanks.

I'll get him.

Is this your family?

Yes, they're three of my boys.

That's Robbie and Chip and Ernie and this is Uncle Charley.

And the fellow there in the middle is tr*mp, our dog.

They're fine-looking boys.

Oh, thank you.

Uncle Charley kind of mothers the whole bunch of us.

Why don't you get started on specifications?

Good.

Now, this is our first practice.

It's just to loosen up and get used to each other.

Hey, coach, you see what I see?

I don't believe it.

Douglas.

Reporting for practice, coach.

I really didn't expect to see you.

Well, here I am.

Thank you.

Well, Douglas, we'll try you out as
forward on the blue team.

All right?

Now, first of all, at all times,
remember that we are ladies.

And gentlemen.

There'll be no hair pulling, no fighting,
and no scratching.

Oh, and be sure you're not wearing Bobby pins.

They can be very nasty in a scrimmage.

All right?

Okay, everybody on the field.

Yes, ma'am.

I'm just a little sick to my stomach.

If you're nervous, that's a good sign.

Now, play hard and fast.

Remember, you got to teach those girls a lesson.

I better be careful.

I might hurt one of those girls with this.

So you hurt somebody.

Remember what they're doing to us.

Now, let them have it.

No corner to women or children.

Hi, McFerney.

Hi.

Hey, the big game must be on about now.

Am I day?

Today, a guy wasn't supposed to sock a girl.

Oh, Chip won't hit a girl, at least not very hard.

All it takes is a couple of bruised shins, and I'll be
getting threatening phone calls from the mothers.

Chip is trying to hold back the tide.

He thinks boys should be boys and girls should be girls.

Well, Ernie is the mastermind that stirs Chip up.

And Ernie is all out to cut up a few girls.

Those girls wear shin guards.

Yeah, maybe they do, but I don't.

And when her mothers catch me alone, at the
supermarket, oh, they're deadly with those shopping carts.

How come you didn't stay for the bitter end?

I couldn't.

It was awful.

Yeah, awful.

Got socked by everybody on the red team going down
the field, by everybody on the blue team coming back.

Girls, you can't trust them.

How about boys, my rooting section?

Bass and Rosen laughed louder and longer than anybody else.

What do you think you're doing?

What's it to you?

I'm his manager.

Some manager.

Hold still.

This may sting a little.

You're going to let her do that?

You want him to bleed to death?

Ow!

Sorry, but we don't want any infection.

Yeah, thanks.

Let's have a look at that shiner.

Boy, I got you a good one there, didn't I?

I didn't show those girls anything.

They made me look bad.

And the boys were no help.

Sounds like a tough go all around.

We proved one thing.

What's that?

Boys shouldn't play on girls' teams.

That's half the battle.

I'll get it.

Hi.

Hi, yourself.

Chip Douglas here?

Yeah.

Just a minute.

Hey, Chip, take cover.

It's a girl with a hockey stick.

Didn't they do enough on the field for
that to come looking for me?

Hey.

You didn't expect to get this back again, did you?

You left it at the gym.

Thanks a lot.

Were you going someplace?

Party or something?

No.

Just here.

As long as you're here, come on in and sit down.

I wanted to tell you, I won't be going out
for track after all.

Turns out, practice comes same time as my modeling lesson.

I'm quitting hockey, too.

Boy, you look real nice.

Thank you.

Hey, Chip, you think I ought to peel another
potato in case we should have a guest for dinner?

Can you stay?

I'm pretty sure.

Can I phone my mom?

Yeah, phone's right there.

Hi, guest.

Sooner or later, nature solves all kooky problems.

Oh, hi, Chipper.

Track practice?

Modeling.

You're not taking modeling now?

No, Georgie is.

I walked her home.

You carried her books, huh?

No, she had them on her head.

I'll get it.

Hello.

Hi.

Well, hello, Max.

I mean, Maxine.

Come here.

I brought the initial cost breakdown.

I found it on your desk after you left,
and I knew you wanted to go over it tonight.

Well, I certainly did.

Thanks very much.

You saved me a trip out to the plant tonight.

Now, this is my son, Chip.

Hi.

Hi, Chip.

And this is my son, Ernie.

Hi, Ernie.

Hi.

It's Miss Bentley, Ernie.

Well, Max, as long as you're here,
why don't we go over this together?

We can work over there, hmm?

Fine.

Yeah.

Hmm?

You can tell she's not a boy, can't you?

Yes, yes, well, just like the good old days.